Rabbit of the Moon
by The Butterfly Defect
Summary: I never asked for this to happen to me. Hell, I was probably the last person qualified for the job, but here I was, trapped in the body of Tsukino Usagi. I was't a hero, or some savior of the universe, and these people were about to get a rude awakening. Tokyo would have to find a new moon princess, because this one wasn't available. SI-OC (slight AU) (Darker themes)
1. Chapter 1

A/N

Hello, darling readers!

For those that don't know, this story was adopted from ThePureWhiteFeather, who has made my entire year. For those of you that knew and followed her version of the story, there are going to be many changes to fit my writing style and overall plot idea while attempting to stay along the original train of thought she started with, so bear with me.

With that said, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, or any of its characters.

* * *

 _Prologue_

I'd like to say that I died in an exciting, high speed car chase, or maybe doing something heroic like taking a bullet for a loved one.

I didn't.

My death came in the form of laced weed, strangely enough. One moment I was smoking a blunt, sitting on the window sill of my dorm room and doing my absolute best to ignore the looming threat that was finals, and the next I was on the ground convulsing, vomiting, and maybe even frothing at the mouth. It was a bit of a blur, to be honest; I wasn't exactly able to stick around to find out the specifics either.

Obviously, I passed out at some point and didn't wake up again. Perhaps my roommate found me, called the cops or attempted CPR; whether she did or didn't hardly mattered at this point though, because nothing would have brought me back, not by then. When death came for me, there was a small, subconscious part of me that knew this was it.

No daring rescues, no take backs.

I faded away, quietly and alone, on the floor of a cramped dorm room with no one the wiser. Dying was a strange thing, so different from anything I'd ever been told it would be like. Dark, yes, but not frightening, rather it was warm, a soft blanket wrapped around your form straight from the dyer on a cold winter night. I remember the sensation of floating, drifting along for quite some time; no breathing, no thinking, just simply existing. It was… nice, I suppose, peaceful even; there were no worries, no panic, fear, or stress.

Any words I could use to describe the feeling would fall painfully short, but if I had to, I'd say it felt like safety; absolute safety and reassurance. Of course, it didn't last, nothing so pure ever did. There was a light, more of a faint glow than anything; pale, silvery eyes gazed down at me, scrutinizing me in a way that gave me my first taste of an emotion that wasn't so soothing or pleasant. For the first time in what I sensed to be a lengthy amount of time, I felt unsettled.

It was a vague, unfamiliar feeling, and I only felt myself rising in alertness when it was far, far too late.

Maybe it didn't matter though, maybe there was nothing I could have done.

It was then that I was… removed, perhaps? Removed from the warm quiet nothingness and placed into somewhere else. It held a distant familiarity that I couldn't pinpoint, not when it felt so _so wrong, there wasn't enough room, and someone else was here with me but it was so tight, not enough space, not for two of us._ The Other One starting struggling, pushing and pulling as if they could throw me out but there was no exit, no escape. It hurt, like a bruise being punched over and over again, pain where the warmth used to be.

I fought back, afraid and confused.

I shoved and yanked, but it was to no avail because like I said, there was nowhere to go. I think the Other One realized this as well, because suddenly they ceased their assault, and instead tried to overpower me. Some part of me knew I couldn't lose here though, that this struggle between us was _important_. I threw everything I was into this battle for dominance, driven by the unadulterated will to survive. I had a fighting chance here and by god I would use it.

How exactly I did it, I hadn't a clue but suddenly the Other One was shrinking, and I was growing, absorbing them. There was a scream of horror, far off in the distance that chilled me to the bone. I wasn't able to pay it any attention though, because the Other One was gone, leaving behind a wave of memories that proceeded to hit me like a freight train. Symbols and conversations that didn't make any sense to me began to filter as a new language made itself known in my mind.

Kanji and Hiragana formed links with the words and letters of my native language, and the gibberish that had seemed senseless and confusing at first became easier to understand. It was then that the memories picked up speed, flashing by far too fast for me to make sense of anything or properly process it. Images of train stations and streets, doughnuts, papers, a girl with red hair laughing, the chime of a bell, an arcade, a room with pink walls.

The memories were never ending.

I was alone though, with time and plenty of space, not to mention nothing else to do. So I organized them, trashing things that didn't seem important until a life was laid out in front of me. A girl, with big blue eyes and long blonde hair; she was startlingly familiar, her face tugging at my own memory. It was after some thought that a name floated from the recesses of my mind.

Usagi.

Princess Serenity.

 _Sailor Moon_.

That was the moment everything clicked together. I was actually dead, I had _died_ and somehow I'd been shoved into _her mind,_ but that wasn't possible, because she was a fictional character. She lived in a fictional world full of magic and those kinds of things didn't simply become reality. The memories were right in front of me though, ones detailing the life of a girl I had grown up watching on television.

My mind – or was it hers? – couldn't process the gravity of the situation, because accepting this meant many, many things that I simply couldn't cope with at the moment. So I very carefully did not think about the fact that I was dead, or that I had murdered Usagi, who was only thirteen years old if the memories were correct. I also didn't think about the fact that she was a fictional character and therefore couldn't be killed to begin with.

Instead, I thought about what a crappy lifetime movie this was turning out to be.

Don't do drugs kids!

You'll die, kill a fictional person, and become stuck in their body.

But I wasn't thinking about that, or about my family. My sweet, kind mother who was too good for this world, and my genius little sister that would be going to Stanford in the fall. They'd have to bury me now, and neither deserved that. I was never going to see them again, and I couldn't even remember the last thing I'd said to them. Would they forgive me for being such an idiot, were they grieving? And what about Usagi, whose soul or mind had simply ceased to exist?

Who would grieve for her?

* * *

A/N

I know it's short, but this is simply the prologue. The following chapters will grow longer, I just have to get going first.

Anyway,

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter One

At some point, I had to except the fact that the life I'd lived was over; this place I had fought for, Usagi's body, belonged to me now. She was… gone, just like everything else I had ever known. My friends and family were as good as dead here, and that combined with the fact that for the first time in my life I was truly and completely alone in the world? Well, it was a hard hit to take; a truth that I knew but wasn't ready to face quite yet.

And so I didn't.

The moment I left my mind and woke up in _her_ body, everything came crashing down on me. I couldn't move, couldn't make myself speak or do much of anything over the horrifying revelation that this was my reality. So I cried, curled into a ball on a bed that wasn't mine and mourned. I'd experienced loss before, went to both of my grandparents funerals, but it wasn't something that could be compared to this. Losing someone is terrible, and difficult to deal with, but I had just lost _everyone_ all at once.

It was beyond horrific.

No matter what happened in life, no matter what trauma you experienced, there would always be someone around. It could be a friend, or an enemy, a neighbor or even a third cousin twice removed; the point was, people were there, not necessarily for you, but nonetheless they were there and having anyone around, that knew you to any degree, was reassuring. I had lost more than that simple comfort, the mere acknowledgment of my existence; my body, my things, they were all gone as well.

It was like my very being had been wiped away, leaving nothing but my mind to prove that the life I had lived, the experiences I'd gone through, were real. That wasn't something you could simply bounce back from, and I certainly didn't.

I spent three days in that bed.

I sobbed and grieved, but people can only cry for so long and by the second night my tears dried up. I was left in a numb state of resignation, a point where I recognized this was rock bottom and that I could do nothing about it. It was on the morning of the fourth day that I finally tore myself from the bed and attempted to get it together. Wasting away did nothing for the situation, and self-preservation would not allow me to continue doing it.

This body had needs just like any other, and I was starting to feel the effects of my neglect. My stomach twisted painfully, my bladder was full, and I could smell myself. Sitting up, I shifted uncomfortably as the weight of my needs made themself known. I didn't want to get up, didn't want to move but now that I had taken notice of my unhygienic state, it was starting to bother me.

I stumbled a couple times on the way to the door as I adjusted to this body, and once there I hesitated. It was dark and I didn't know where the shower was, the memories were there though, on the edge of my mind waiting to be used. Closing my eyes, I dug for any memories that showed the layout of this house. They surfaced, and I went through each one as I opened the door and skulked down the hall to the bathroom.

I locked the door behind me and turned, steadily avoiding the mirror as I turned the shower on. It was an odd sensation, being in a foreign place and knowing where everything went and how things worked. As the water heated up I wrestled with my hair, ripping the stupid bows from it and struggling to release it from the hairstyle it had been in. An image of Usagi bounced around my mind, with her bun ponytail hair thingies. A word floated to me, from memories I did not consider my own.

Odango hair.

Well, that was an accurate portrayal I supposed. I used the bathroom and showered quickly, afraid that if I lingered too long someone would come check on me despite the early hour. Usagi's mother had done so many times in the last couple of days, and each time she came, worry written plain as day on her face, I felt guilty. I could never bring myself to say anything to her, and after all there wasn't much to say to begin with.

I wasn't her daughter, and she could never know that. I'd carry that secret with me until the day I died, and if I was the only one that grieved for the thirteen year old girl then so be it. I hadn't asked to be dropped into this body, but when push came to shove I had made a decision and that was why Usagi wasn't here.

I had chosen to live.

As awful as it sounds, I didn't regret it either.

* * *

When I returned to the room, the sun was beginning to rise in the sky. I took a moment to observe my surroundings, something I hadn't cared enough to do earlier. The walls were the fainted shade of pink, and the floor was made of wood. In the middle of the room was a low table, with a large light pink rug spread beneath it. The wall on my right had closet doors, and on the wall to my left was a vanity and a series of shelves with various items scattered on them.

Light shined in to the room through white curtains, and the length of the bed had been pushed up under the windows. Padding over to the bed, my fingers brushed across the blanket, taking in it purple color and adorned pattern of bunnies, moons, and stars. Abruptly, I felt a flash of annoyance as I scanned the room once more. Everything in here screamed child, from the stickers on the walls to the frills on the edge of the pillowcase.

She had been nothing more than a little girl.

The thought had never really crossed my mind before, but standing here now it was so obvious to see. So young, and yet all those people had looked to her to save the world instead of doing it themselves. Usagi had stepped up to the plate when it truly mattered, but was it right to have placed a burden like that on a kid like her? Maybe that was unfair of me to say, I hadn't watched the show in nearly a decade.

I never claimed to be a fair person though.

As I stood here all I could think was that she hadn't really deserved all the stress she'd probably had. This girl was younger than my little sister, far too young to be running around saving the world. My musings were interrupted by the sound of the door knob turning. I stiffened, holding the pink towel wrapped around me in a death grip. Usagi's mother poked her head into the room, blinking in surprise to see me standing there, clean and out of bed.

"Oh!" She murmured. "You're awake. Are you feeling better, Usagi-chan?"

She had said it in Japanese, and though I found myself understanding immediately, I couldn't help but stare stupidly for a moment or two. I'd never spoken a different language before, and being able to speak and understand Japanese when I hadn't actually learned or practiced it was a surreal experience.

"I… Yes." I responded, tasting the words.

"That's good." The woman smiled in relief, eyes lighting up. "I was worried, for a while there. You have school today, you know, if you're feeling up to it."

That was right, Usagi was in school. It had slipped my mind until now, and with dawning horror I realized that she was in eighth grade. Oh god, I was going back to _middle school_ , I had to redo five years of schooling. I grimaced, and Usagi's mother looked at me with concern. She stepped forward and opened her mouth to say something, but I spoke quickly before she could.

"I'm going… I just, er, forgot about it."

Usagi's mother paused, studying me. There was a brief moment where I thought she would bring up the past couple days, but then her face softened and she snorted. "Of course you did. How like you that is."

"…Right." I said, straining a smile. "I should get ready then, for school."

"Well, get going then or you'll be late."

And with that she was gone, shutting the door behind her. My shoulders slumped, and I blew out a breath as I moved over to the closet, eyeing the hung uniforms. Was I really going to do this? Go to school as Usagi, sit in a classroom and play pretend? Then again, there wasn't anything else I could do, my options were limited. I snatched one of the clean uniforms before moving over to the dresser and digging out a bra and underwear. There was something fundamentally wrong with going through another person's underwear drawer, and I was highly uncomfortable while doing it.

Dressing was an affair all by itself, and if looking through another's intimates felt wrong, wearing them was ever worse. Part of me wanted to go bathe in holy water or something, but there wasn't time for that. Usagi had a routine, she would have gone to school, so for the time being all I could do was follow her steps. Besides, middle school would be a mindless task, and that was what I needed right now; somewhere to think without anyone hovering in concern like Usagi's mother.

Her mother, whose name I could not remember for the life of me.

I wasn't sure what to call the woman, and in the end I decided to simply not call her anything. There were a million other problems I had to work through and this just didn't make the cut. I struggled into the uniform, which felt foreign yet familiar all at once, and found Usagi's school bag where it had been tossed under the table. I was about to leave when I spotted a box of cookies sitting on one of the shelves.

I stuffed five of them into my mouth, chewing as I exited the room and shuffled down the stairs. I paused in the kitchen where Usagi's mother stood, humming a tune and preparing a bento. The faint sound of footsteps upstairs clued me in to the rising of the rest of her family. The woman must have heard it too, because she turned just as I moved to say something and startled upon catching sight of me.

"Good grief," She said, holding a hand over her heart. "When did you become so quiet? I didn't even hear you coming down the stairs."

"Sorry." I apologized, eyeing the lunch box. I was still hungry, and the thought of food made my stomach rumble noisily. I wasn't sure how I felt about taking food from her, all things considered, but in the end it mattered little. The woman laughed, before grabbing the lunch box off the counter and handing it to me.

"Some things never change." She murmured fondly.

"Thanks…" I replied blandly. "Well, I'm off then."

Mrs. Tsukino called after me to have a good day as I slipped on Usagi's shoes and left the house. I stood off to the side of the street as I tried to recall the way to this school I'd never been to before. The memories surfaced after a few seconds, and I turned right as I made my way down the street at a steady pace. There weren't many people out, so it wasn't until I found myself on a more populated road that I realized something was off.

I slowed down, brows furrowed as I regarded the people around me. Their appearances were strange; permed hair, pointy shoes, shoulder pads. It was all very old fashioned, and with alarm I watched as a man walked by, talking into the largest clunk of a phone I had ever seen. Panic seized me as I tried to remember what year Sailor Moon was based in.

From what I was seeing, along with several other things that instantly seemed out of place like the fact that no one was on a cellphone, I already had an inkling of what decade it was. I'd been thrown into the _nineties,_ and that meant no cells, or laptops, or anything related to the twenty first century; I was practically in the Stone Age.

That meant I was never going to see the fourth season of Sherlock, and Google probably hadn't been invented yet.

Was there even internet?

Oh god.

I forced myself to take calm, even breaths and continued moving down the sidewalk. This was it, the worst day I would ever have for the rest of my life; no day would ever be able to top this. The rest of the way to school was spent in a daze as I tried to think positively. So I would have to wait like twenty years before anything began to resemble the modern age I knew, that was fine, I would be fine.

I'd just put it on the list of things to never think about.

I had far more relevant worries anyway, like the fact that a little black cat would try to recruit me sometime in the near future. I was Usagi now, but I also really wasn't her and if I let myself be dragged into this whole Sailor Moon mess then someone was bound to figure that out eventually. I mean, I couldn't exactly receive memories of a past life if it wasn't mine to begin with.

The silver crystal was in this body, as far as I remembered, and that meant it was safe from everyone else, so why exactly did I even have to fight at all? It had been really, really long since I had last seen Sailor Moon, so I was fuzzy on details, but I didn't see why I had to involve myself. If a couple people were drained by the dark kingdom or whatever that wasn't really my problem, was it?

I was the only one who knew where the crystal was.

If the fate of the world was resting on my shoulders, then we were already doomed anyway. I wasn't a crime fighting defender of justice, I had failed P.E. twice because I couldn't run a damn mile, and if those people expected me to do all of that while wearing heels then they had better prepare for disappointment. I got winded walking up more than a flight of stairs, so the sad truth of the matter was that I'd likely do more harm than good as Sailor Moon.

"Usagi-chan!" a voice called from behind me. I turned to see a girl with permed red hair and the same school uniform waving as she rushed to catch up with me. She was vaguely recognizable, and I struggled to remember her name as the girl caught up and linked arms with me. Once again, memories that weren't mine came to my rescue, labeling the girl as Naru, Usagi's best friend.

"Man, you're on time for once." She said, baffled. "What is the world coming to?"

"I've uh, felt a bit off." I replied, rummaging up a smile. "Thought I'd get a fresh start today; new beginnings and all that."

"Well, if that's what you were going for then you've succeeded." Naru laughed. "I almost didn't recognize you with your hair down like that."

My hand went to my hair, running through the locks out of habit. I hadn't put it up before leaving the house, and now that I thought about it I wasn't sure I wanted to anyway. It made me look unnecessarily like Princess Serenity, and that was really the last thing I needed. I eyed Naru as I struggled to move the subject away from myself and onto something more important.

"What's the date today?" I asked. "The full date?"

"Uh… May 20th, 1992?" She said, eyeing me. "Did you really forget what day it is?"

"It slipped my mind." I lied, swallowing. "Happens to the best of us."

Naru laughed.

"I'll say." She sighed. "I can barely remember anything I study these days. I know you were out sick on Friday but it was a weekend so I don't think it'll get you out of today's test."

Test?

This really was the worst day of my life, and it wasn't even eight o'clock in the morning. I must have made a face, because Naru patted my arm sympathetically.

"Just do your best." She said. "Your grades can't get any lower, so it can only go uphill for here. Besides, what's the worst that could possibly happen?"

That was a good question, one I didn't want an answer to though.

I'd had enough bad luck for one life.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N

I really tried to get this chapter out on Christmas for you guys, only the words never seemed right and I spent the past week writing and rewriting it to no avail.

I am in fact a failure.

Happy late Christmas?

Disclaimer: I don't own Sailor Moon, only an imagination.

* * *

I wasn't going to cry.

That's what I told myself over and over as I gazed blankly down at the open history textbook on my desk. Two seats away a student began to read out a passage to the class, and while I pretended to follow along in truth I was stuck two pages back, still trying to make sense of the paragraph before me. It was a mess of half sentences, and the rest of the words wouldn't come to me no matter how hard I glared at the stupid thing. My face heated in embarrassment, and I tugged on my braid in irritation, resisting the urge to throw my textbook across the room.

I had been Tsukino Usagi for almost a month now, and in theory I shouldn't have had any trouble keeping up with a class full of middle school students. This was reality though, and in reality no amount of cheat sheet memories could make up for the fact that Japanese just wasn't my mother tongue. Speaking the language came far more naturally to me than reading or writing in it did; written words didn't always translate cleanly in my mind, and oftentimes I needed a few moments to even comprehend what I was reading.

The problem was that there never seemed enough time, and that left me three steps behind everyone else. Frustration was an old friend of mine, especially when it came to school, but the humiliation of physically struggling to keep pace with all the other thirteen year old students? That was an entirely new sensation for me, and a bitter pill to swallow. It wasn't as if I was unintelligent, or couldn't understand any of the concepts being taught; my only genuine trouble was that all the work might as well have been written in code, one that I hadn't been able to fully grasp as of yet.

In light of that it sounded unreasonable to condemn myself when I made a mistake or needed a little more time to understand a sentence or two; in fact, it was exceptional progress for someone in my situation, perhaps even impressive if one considered that my knowledge of the Japanese language was based off of someone who hadn't exactly been known for her academic achievement. Nevertheless, acknowledging this did very little to ease the shame I felt at having to stumble through what everyone else around me had little problem learning.

As the class turned to another page I started to think that maybe just this once there was no harm in giving in to defeat; I had no hope of catching up right now and besides, it was a Friday so I had all weekend to torture myself with it. I folded my arms over the textbook, planning to settle into a well-deserved nap when something occurred to me. Was there really even a point in going to history class? I was pretty sure the moon and earth kingdom had been an important event in history, and if no one knew about it then what else had they missed?

How much of history here was even accurate?

My musings were cut short as the final bell rang, putting an end to my misery and dismissing us for the day. A cacophony of noise filled the room as students began to collect their things, chatting excited among themselves. I packed my bag with careless abandon, turning a blind eye to the assigned homework being passed around by the teacher. I really didn't need any more history work to stress over, and so as Sensei wormed his way down the rows with surprising speed, I was left with no other option than to abandon my desk and make a bid for freedom before he had the sense to stop me.

Being among the shortest of the class had its advantages, and I managed to slip out the door unnoticed. A flash of red hair caught my eye as I scurried away from the classroom, and it was the only warning I received as Naru appeared out of thin air and narrowly avoided crashing into me.

"Woah, careful there," She laughed. "I was looking for you."

"Oh? Walk with me then." Naru didn't get a chance to answer as I linked arms with the girl and began dragging us away. I'd been hoping to avoid anyone unsavory today, but some things just couldn't be helped and if I had to choose between her and history work then Naru was the obvious choice. The need to put distance between myself and the classroom had us striding down the hallway at a brisk pace.

In the background a voice sounding suspiciously like Sensei's called out my name, which only spurned me to move faster. I sensed Naru turning to see who it had been and I tugged her forward. "Hurry up now, we don't want to stray."

"Geez, where's the fire?"

"We're in school, the fire's everywhere." I weaved around group of upperclassmen and turned, slowing to join a herd of students heading down the stairs. "That's why we call it hell."

"Ain't that the truth," Naru sighed, untangling herself from me. "I don't even want to think about how much homework they piled on us today. Exams aren't even for a couple weeks and I'm already drowning in work, you know?"

"Yes, I'm acquainted with the feeling." More than she knew. "Anyway, you said you were looking for me?"

"Oh, right. Okay, so hear me out," She began, perking up. "I know you said you weren't feeling up to doing anything for your birthday this year, but-"

"Can we not do this?" I interrupted. "I really don't see what the big deal is, parties are for kids and it isn't like turning fourteen is some kind of mile stone."

Only over my cold, dead body would I go on to celebrate and accept gifts on behalf of Serenity, who hadn't even made it to her fourteenth birthday this time around; there were simply too many things wrong with that picture. Naru was like a dog with a bone about it and despite my adamant refusal she didn't seem keen on giving up just yet. A frosty glance from my end made her expression tighten, but she seemed to get a clue and the subject was dropped.

Conversation became a bit stunted after that, and for the thousandth time I found myself wondering why I even bothered. It wasn't as if there was anything wrong with Naru or the other girls in her group, because they were all nice enough; however, it was Serenity that had chosen to befriend them, and I certainly wasn't her. I was Usagi 2.0, and I was getting tired of the way everyone looked at me when I didn't meet their expectations. I liked Naru, but she could really drain me at times and I knew that I often got on her nerves.

Neither of us had chosen each other.

I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or not when we reached the building entrance to find someone waiting for us at our lockers. Yumiko was a classmate, and another one of Serenity's friends. She was a sweet girl, but I had learned that as with Naru I could only handle her in small doses. Yumiko straighten up upon catching sight of us, and as we approached I began brainstorming possible ways to excuse myself without being rude.

"Hey guys!" She chirped. "Can you believe the amount of homework we got today? I was so pumped to spend this weekend relaxing and then they dump this workload on us on a Friday of all days, as if anyone is actually going to do it."

"I know right?" said Naru. "Did you check the math assignment? It's three whole _pages_ of problems, front and back; I almost died when I saw them. Just thinking about it is depressing me."

"Well then, I know something that'll lift our spirits." Yumiko smiled excitedly. "There's this boutique down by the arcade that's having a killer sale right now. Apparently they're closing up soon and they need to sell all the merchandise off."

The prospect of shopping seemed to brighten Naru's mood, and she turned to her friend with large, pleading eyes and a hopeful expression. "You're being for real, right Yumi-chan? You wouldn't be cruel enough to lie about something as important as this?"

"No way!" The other girl laughed. "That'd be too harsh, even for me."

"We definitely have to go, like right now."

I could see where this was going, and there was not a doubt in my mind of how my day would end if I went along with them. After making the grave mistake of allowing myself to be talked into spending a day out with them not only once, but twice, I had resolved to make myself the least available girl in all of Japan. I felt guilty about the fact that their friend was gone and that I'd taken her place, but not guilty enough to subject myself to a soul-sucking afternoon of empty chatter and whatever else it was that they got up to when I wasn't around.

I shifted, clearing my throat. "Ah, I'm going to have to pass this time."

Both girls paused for a moment, sharing a loaded glance. Neither seemed all that surprised, which was fair enough considering the numerous times I had declined their invitations. Yumiko didn't put up much of a fight, merely sighing in resignation; it was Naru that did not look to be receptive of whatever nonsensical excuse she knew lurked at the tip of my tongue.

" _You_ of all people are going to pass on the chance to shop?" Her tone was one of disbelief. "It's like I don't even know you anymore."

"I just- I'm way behind on homework and you _know_ how my mom is." The lie came easy. "Besides, I am so beyond broke it isn't even funny. Maybe… maybe next time though?"

"Yeah, I guess." She replied dubiously.

We both knew better though.

It'd always be _next time_.

* * *

I'd settled into something of a routine a while ago, and this weekend wasn't any different.

Most of my time outside of school was spent exploring the surrounding areas until the sun had set, and only then would I return to the Tsukino residence. Staying in the house for too long made me uncomfortable, knowing I didn't truly belong there, so I tried to stay away for as long as I could without raising anyone's alarms. Home was a place I had yet to find, so for now the Tsukino residence would simply have to do.

These days the house held an air of cautious optimism, and everyone seemed to walk on eggshells around me. If I was being honest though, that was definitely my fault; acceptance of what was now my body, my _life,_ hadn't happened overnight. I'd had a few moments of lost composure, where I might have had a minor freak out or two, but I was only human and objectively speaking this situation of mine was more than any reasonable person could be expected to handle.

The real issue wasn't my mental state though; it was Tsukino Ikuko and her accursed timing. The woman always seemed to be around when I was at an extremely low point; like some sixth sense, it was her superpower.

A week in I'd reached my limits with all the hair. It was suffocating, impossible to groom, and it kept getting caught in everything from zippers to doors. I loathed having so much of it, and one night as I sat in the bedroom trying to detangle the mess I decided that enough was enough. Ikuko had found me in the bathroom, surrounded by long golden strands and sporting a horribly uneven haircut. It probably hadn't helped that my eyes had been glossy with tears of anger and utter spite.

She'd been kind enough to even it out, the length barely reaching the small of my back. That was only one of many embarrassing moments that the Tsukino family had apparently attributed to being a teenage girl on the brink of womanhood or some similar nonsense. These days they rarely bothered with me so long as I didn't act like a criminal, and for that I was thankful, because while I _could_ play the part of the loving but absentminded daughter it took far more energy than I really had.

But I digress.

It stormed most of the weekend, forcing me to take refuge in libraries and cafés rather than sucking it up and staying at the house. I would eat glass to avoid running the risk of social obligation compelling me to spend time with my pseudo family. Sunday morning I managed to escape the house, but not before the Tsukinos could smother me in guilt with a birthday breakfast and a startling amount of money that came with the order to not come home before getting myself something nice.

I left with a sneaking suspicion that the pile of allowance money sitting in the bottom of my purse hadn't gone unnoticed. I had been hesitant to spend what was technically their money, but if they really wanted me to use it then I was hardly in the position to deny them, even if it left a bad taste in my mouth.

The rain had stopped sometime in the night, leaving gray skies in its wake and an overall muted atmosphere that reflected my mood. The air was heavy as if in anticipation of another storm, though the forecast had promised clear skies in the afternoon. For a while I wandered aimlessly, down quiet streets that twisted and turned, stuck in my own musings. I only stumbled back into awareness when the strangest sensation washed over me and made my hair stand on end.

For a moment I blinked, unsure what had been the cause of my unease. Then I noticed an open path directly across the street, and though it appeared perfectly ordinary something about it raised my curiosity. Trees artfully decorated both sides of it, purposely cut so that the green leaves hung over, giving the illusion of a tunnel along the pathway. It called to me, and without ever making the conscious decision I found my feet moving down the winding trail.

There were few places I had yet to explore in the Azabu-Juuban district, and this seemed to be one of them. Two minutes passed before the path opened up to reveal my destination, a large, open park with a fountain at its center and benches scattered around. There was a lake a little ways off and more paths that led to places unknown. The park was lively despite the gloomy day as families and couples went about their own business.

I wasn't sure what I'd been expecting, but this somehow wasn't it.

There was nothing out of place here, none of the people seemed off or stuck me as odd. I surveyed the area to no avail, double checking for anything out of the ordinary. Doubt began to creep in as the minutes passed and my investigation proved to be fruitless, and with that came frustration.

Why had I felt compelled to come here?

I rubbed at my temple, and turned to leave when someone collided with me. I lost my balance on the slick pavement, falling sideways onto the wet ground. My right arm and hip bore the brunt of the impact the pain reverberating through me.

"Oh god, I'm sorry." A panicked voice said from above me. "I didn't see you there."

 _Obviously_. I thought resentfully.

With gritted teeth I sat up, mentally taking in the damage while preparing to rip the person a new one; The ground was dirty and wet, my right side was beginning to throb, and half the skin on my elbow had scraped off. My expression was one of irritation as I glared up at the man, a few rude phrases at the tip of my tongue; but the words caught in my throat as I took in wide, cobalt blue eyes, dark hair, and an alarmingly familiar face twisted in concern.

 _This wasn't happening._

"Are you hurt?" He knelt at my side, moving his hands around my shoulders as if to lift me up. His searching gaze paused at the blood that had begun to flow freely down my arm. "I'm so sorry. Here, let me help you."

I didn't answer as he brought me to my feet, in fact all I could do was stare incredulously at the man before me.

Mamoru Chiba, in the flesh.

How unlucky could I possibly be?

* * *

A/N

I am back guys!

So many of you posed the very important question of which Sailor Moon anime I would be following, and the answer is a hellish combination of Crystal and the original. Both have their merits, and I don't see why we can't have the best of both worlds, you know? So there's that.

Also, before the lot of you ask I will just say that we won't be reaching the beginning of canon for at least three more chapters. I have so many plans for this in the works and I have a rough draft for the next couple chapters so expect updates and please forgive me for all the horrible months I left you guys hanging.

Anyway

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N

The Sailor Moon timeline is utter bull and I am 1,000% over it. Literally its all over the place, the ages don't match up with what the timeline says and I am not willing to believe that Usagi was thirteen for like half the first season its unsettling and wrong and makes no sense so we're now going by what I can live with.

Too many conflicting sources, and damn them all.

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon belongs to someone that sadly isn't me.

* * *

Everyone has bad days.

The ones where their hair just won't fall right, they stub their toe, forget something important on the way to wherever they're going, and get yelled at by a boss or teacher. That's how things should be, bad days are important, because if you never have a bad day then you can never really appreciate a truly good one. I'm a firm believer in the necessity of having a bad day, the only problem was that my bad days appeared to be stockpiling.

Surely this was some sort of cosmic karma, the odds that I would run into one of the last people I ever wanted to meet, on Serenity's _birthday_. Words had failed me as I stood before Mamoru Chiba, covered in filthy puddle water. His hands were still around my shoulders, as though to keep me steady, and he seemed to be waiting for a response I couldn't get past my lips. It was then that, as I got my first real glimpse of him, something caught my notice; there and gone between one heartbeat and the next, but I was sure I'd seen it.

A glimmer of perception.

I couldn't make sense of it at the moment, and as my silence grew Mamoru continued to observe me. When his gaze caught sight of my elbow cradled protectively against my chest he inhaled sharply. One of his hands moved to my upper arm as he leaned forward in order to get a better look. "That doesn't look too good, you must have landed hard."

Guilt dripped from his voice as he examined it further, and as I attempted to not choke on my words he glanced up once again to meet my gaze. "It doesn't look like it needs stitches." He began. "Do you want to go to the hospital, just to make sure?"

"No." The words came out soft as I tried to get my bearings.

"Ah, okay then." His expression, while remorseful, seemed to soften at my response. "Lets get you cleaned up then."

He let go of my arm, placing a warm palm between my shoulders and guiding me away. Walking hurt my hip a bit, adding to the sting and throb of my right side. It began to rain as we exited the park, and for lack of anything better to do I focused on the pain, hunching over a little to shield my injury from the rainfall. There wasn't any solid reason for why I was allowing myself to be led away by this man, I was a mess and returning to the Tsukino residence like this would earn me any favors, but it wouldn't be the end of the world either.

Surely there was something to be gained here?

The rain was a bit cold despite the fact that we were in the midst of summer, and with the addition of the chill to the pain I felt and my emotionally drained state, I honestly didn't care where we went. If it was dry, and close by then I was game. Mamoru led us to an apartment building maybe ten minutes from the park, and though I wasn't paying attention to much of anything, I still sensed the glances he sent my way.

We went up an elevator, out onto a floor and down a hall before he stopped at a door and unlocked it. I was still caught up in my own thoughts, of how I could turn this bad day to my own benefit, and so it wasn't until Mamoru herded me in and I found myself sitting on a leather couch that I returned to reality. He disappeared behind another door briefly, coming back with towels and what looked to be a first aid kit. I shivered, finally feeling the cool bite of the air conditioning.

"Here, this will help." Mamoru draped the towel around me before kneeling on the ground and opening the first aid kit. It was such a kind gesture from him that I found myself at a loss.

Who the hell invites a complete stranger into their home?

I eyed him for a moment, only to redirect my gaze as he looked up. The first aid kit caught my attention, and I felt my brows furrow as I took a closer look. It was big, almost the size of a briefcase and quite literally packed to the brim, neatly prepared for seemingly any disaster. It was nearly overflowing, and for some reason this was hysterical to me.

The rose throwing, earth prince was a safety nut.

A laugh slipped out against my will, And I met Mamoru's eyes once more to see a raised brow. There was a bit of relief in his expression, as though he'd truly been worried before and my laughter had eased that. At his questioning glance, I couldn't help but ask. "Are you a boy scout or something?"

"Nothing wrong with being prepared." He replied, shrugging. There was a faint smile on his face as he dug through the kit, and I took that moment to examine him. Mamoru Chiba was younger than I had realized, looking as though he was not yet out of high school. In light of this, he appeared less intimidating, and I felt my body begin to relax as I continued to observe him. For some reason, I'd had it in my mind that he would be someone dangerous.

Now though, he didn't seem like much of a threat.

Still, that didn't mean I was going to stick around; he was looking for the very crystal in my possession, and he was very much a part of a life I wanted nothing to do with. Mamoru, having laid out what he had deemed useful from the kit, turned to me with a sympathetic gleam in his gaze. "Right, let's take a closer look at that elbow of yours."

Hesitantly, I moved my arm out, leaning forward and allowing him to place a hand under it. Together, we stared at the mess between us; it was bloody, a little swollen and sported a large scrape. I was willing to bet it was inflamed under the dirt and blood. Mamoru's expression was stony as he cleaned up the wound, working in silence as though it was a grave affair and not the stumble in the park it had actually been.

What a boy scout.

I fought to keep the amusement off my face as he finished up, bandaging my elbow nicely and clearing his throat before meeting my gaze. His lips parted; ready to say something, only to close as he blinked up at me. He huffed, glancing away for a second as he ran a hand through his hair. When our eyes met again he seemed almost amused yet exasperated, as he said. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"

I was, but those felt more like bruises and there wasn't much he would do able that. I shook my head letting my arm lean gently at my side, and Mamoru nodded in understanding. "That's good, I really am sorry you know. Didn't mean to mow you down like that."

"It's okay." I sighed. "I've been having one of those days, probably should have seen it coming."

I seemed to be having one of those _years_ , but I wasn't about to bring that up in front of a stranger, especially him.

"Well, here's to brighter days then." He laughed, beginning to clean up. His smile faded when he moved to stand and his gaze stopped at my chest. "Oh… maybe we should get you a change of clothes…"

I looked down at myself, ready to give a biting response at his line of sight when I noticed the state of my shirt. The white color had absorbed a decent amount of blood from when I'd cradled my injury to it. Part of it was also dirty from falling in the murky puddle at the park. I really couldn't go to the Tsukino residence like this, poor Ikuko would have a heart attack.

"A change of clothes would be nice, thanks."

* * *

Standing in Mamoru's bathroom, there were several thoughts swirling through my head, but the most prevalent one was this: the Boy Scout was loaded.

The towel I dried myself off with was fluffy, thick and soft to the touch, and part of me felt back about soiling it. The bathroom was pretty spacious, sporting a large mirror over two adjoined sinks, a deep bathtub, and a separate shower behind a clear glass door. It wasn't obnoxiously huge, but it was big enough to remind me that this apartment was luxurious and far beyond anything I'd ever be able to afford. Why he was so obsessed with finding the Silver Crystal I would never understand; god knows if I had this kind of money I'd never want for anything ever again.

I stripped out of my wet clothes, careful of the forming bruises, and dropped the damp garments into a plastic bag. Mamoru had left me a spare set of clothes to change into, and they dwarfed me; I had to roll the sleeves up several times on the long sleeved shirt, but I was grateful nonetheless as it shielded me from the chill. the gym shorts given to me had been tied as well as possible, and still they hung low on my hips.

They were clean and dry though, so I made do.

My hair hung loose, damp but no longer dripping as I hung the towel on an empty bar. I rinsed up in the sink, liberating myself from whatever dirt remained, before calling it quits and exiting the bathroom. I found the living room empty when I returned, the sound of movement coming from a closed door at the other end of the room. For a moment I paused, unsure of what to do; did I wait for him to return, or did I leave without saying anything?

Memories were a tricky thing, and what worried me most was the possibility of accidentally triggering any of Mamoru's past life. There was no way to know what would or wouldn't do it, so I was treading on thin ice here. If I could get some information while I was here though, it'd make my life a little easier and right now with him out of the room I had a golden opportunity.

What secrets did this place have to offer me?

I tiptoed around the apartment quietly, looking closely at the few items on display. By the door was a set of shoes, an umbrella leaning next to them. The coffee table was bare, and the overall place was very minimalist; the TV was impressive, but I was looking for papers, anything that told me more about Mamoru Chiba. There was a bookcase filled with books, and I only paused one them for a moment before the titles grew confusing and I was forced to move on.

I moved around the corner, past the dining room and into the kitchen, both of which were equally bare.

There was something rather depressing about the lack of personal things in this apartment. There were no knickknacks, no plants, no picture frames; the only colors in the place were blue, black, and white. On the kitchen counter were the essentials, toaster, coffee maker, microwave, etc. It was like there was no personality to this place, and I had seen hotel rooms with more appeal.

With nothing on the surface to be found, I contemplated poking through some of his drawers. It was a bit risky, as there was a stark difference between walking around and actually invading his privacy; if I was caught, I didn't have a good excuse for it. As I turned to leave the kitchen I spotted steam coming from a kettle on the stove. That meant he expected me to stay at least a little while, if he was going to offer me tea. Perhaps it wasn't such a terrible idea, if I couldn't find anything lying around, then my only choice was to get information right from the source.

My mind drifted as I stared at the kettle, back to that feeling that had led me to the park in the first place. I didn't understand it, the pull; it had brought me to Mamoru, I was sure, only there shouldn't have been a reason for it. Serenity was his love, and she was gone so the connection should have broken. Was it simply him, or did it have something to do with all of serenity's past? Would I feel it if I ever encounter Luna or the others? Whether or not that would be the case, I knew now that if I ever felt the pull again, I would be running away in the opposite direction.

Fingers brushed the edge of my shoulders, and I startled, losing my train of thought.

The kettle was squealing, and I craned my neck to see Mamoru behind me, hand outstretched and expression curious. I had a hand pressed to my collarbone as I moved out of the way, making room for him to reach the stove. He turned the burner off, setting the kettle down beside it before moving to a different cabinet and pulling out a pair of mugs. He nudged me out of the way, opening a drawer I'd been blocking to fish out two small spoons. There was something pleasant about the way he moved, before when he was tending to my wound and now as he went about the kitchen, preparing tea.

Was he supposed to be this nice?

I couldn't recall, just that him and Serenity had gotten along on and off. Maybe he was a decent person, and they simply butted heads a lot. Either way, this entire meeting had been a bit odd; sure he had knocked me down, and rightfully felt bad, but to invite me into his home, patch me up and give me tea? It was all rather forward, and maybe I didn't exactly look threatening, but you never really knew with people. Something inside me wanted to flee, but I wouldn't leave until I could get some information out of him.

I needed to know the best way to avoid him in the future.

"What's your name?" I took initiative, causing him to glance over at me in surprise. It was a fair reaction, considering I hadn't been very talkative before. I shrugged, leaning against the wall and adding, "You never told me."

"You didn't tell me yours either." He replied, amusement dancing in his gaze. He picked up the mugs and came over to me. "It's common curtesy to give your name before asking for another's."

"Yes, but since you're the one that mowed me down I think we're past such things."

Mamoru grimaced.

"Chiba Mamoru." He handed me the steaming cup, and I smiled in thanks as I took it.

"Nice to meet you, Mamoru." I paused. "You can call me Usagi."

It didn't feel right, using Tsukino as a surname. It was taboo, and only served to make me feel more like a pretender. I had gotten used to Usagi, but it was as far as I would ever be comfortable going. Whether or not it bothered him that I had used his first name, Mamoru didn't let on. He appeared to be mulling over something instead, and had I not been on a mission, my curiosity might have made me ask. I continued while I was in charge of the conversation. "So, do you often invite strangers into your home and serve them tea?"

"It isn't a habit of mine, no." Mamoru said, eyeing me. "Why, do you often follow strangers home?"

"Only every third Tuesday of the month."

"It's Sunday." He pointed out.

"I'm going through a rebellious phase." I waved my hand, getting back on track. "Anyway, maybe a kid like you should be more careful about letting just anyone into your apartment; the world's a dangerous place you know."

"I'll be eighteen in August, I'm not a kid." Mamoru narrowed his eyes. "And if anything, I should be the one scolding you; what kind of girl goes willingly along with someone she's never met?"

"It's different." After all, he wasn't a complete stranger.

"There are some twisted people in this city, you need to be more cautious."

"I'll give it an honest effort."

He sighed, running a hand down his face. "You're going to be trouble, I can feel it."

I grinned behind my mug. He didn't even know the half of it, the poor guy. "Well, it's a big city, maybe we'll never run into each other again."

If I had anything to say about it, we never would. It was quiet as I took a sip of my tea, and Mamoru watched me neutrally. There was a hint of something in his expression, an emotion I couldn't pinpoint. Part of me wanted to stop and take a moment to understand, but that wasn't what I was here for. "So then, tell me, what does Mamoru Chiba do when he isn't in muggy parks or at home? Are you a school club type of person?"

"Not really, no. School is fine, but there are other things to occupy my time." He said.

"Ah." I said, thinking of his heroics; it was likely what he spent most of his spare time doing. "What school do you go to?"

"I go to Moto Azabu high school."

I made note of the name, though it didn't appear to ring any bells. It wasn't much, but I knew three places he spent some of his time at, and odds were I could work with that. I downed the rest of my drink, burning my throat in the process, before setting the mug on the counter. I stretched, thinking about my wet, dirty clothes still in his bathroom; I certainly wasn't going to put them back on, and neither would I be inclined to stick around while the dried.

I was antsy to get out of here, already I'd probably given him too much time, and I wanted to stay as far away from the princess in his mind. It was a fair trade off, my clothes for his; I wasn't overly attached to anything that used to belong to Serenity anyway. I strolled over to the kitchen doorway, pausing to look over my shoulder at Mamoru.

"Well, thanks for everything, Boy Scout." A genuine smile graced my face as he choked on his tea. "Don't go letting strangers into your apartment, alright? And I won't let anyone strangers take me home, scouts honor."

I hightailed it out of there before he had a chance to reply, beginning the journey back to the Tsukino residence.

There were plans to be made.

* * *

I spent the next couple days doing some major mapping.

I had made note of the address to Mamoru's building, scoured the district for his school, and after some careful dissection, I was able to pinpoint the possible paths and bus routes he was likely to haunt. Since the only other thing I'd been able to pick up from our interaction was that he liked to read, I added a list of the libraries and bookstores in his immediate area. Every single one of these places became blacklisted, and with the lengths I'd gone to, it was highly unlikely I would ever cross paths with him again.

Perhaps it was a little extreme, but then, this was my future at stake here, and I was willing to make sacrifices if that's what it took. Regrettably, my normal route to school crossed through his, so I was now forced to walk twenty extra minutes in order to assure total avoidance; on the bright side though, I was definitely getting my daily exercise.

As the week flew by, my thoughts kept wandering back to our talk.

I'd forgotten what it was like to be around someone who only saw me. There was no preconceived idea of how I should act, or what I should say and it had been a breath of fresh air. It was a shame he was so intent on looking for the Silver Crystal, of living that kind of life because I think if it'd been different, we could have been friends. Part of me mourned for the tragedy that was Mamoru Chiba; desperately seeking a crystal he would never find, and a moon princess that was already gone.

There would be no happy ending for him.

I still had a chance at one though, and I wasn't going to waste it on anyone else; other people weren't my problem, I had to save myself and I was beginning to get an idea of how I could do it. This world faced destruction at the hands of the dark whatsit, and while that was a problem it wasn't necessarily _my_ problem. The biggest hurtle I faced was being found by Luna or the other Sailor Scouts. As soon as they figured out who I was supposed to be, I'd have a target on my back.

With talk spreading about a new Sailor V game, I could be sure that Sailor Venus had been…awoken. She was supposed to be the true leader of the Sailor scouts, and it was her that should have searched for the others. Right now she was in London, if I recalled correctly, so all I needed to do was lure her here. That said, there was only so much I could do; getting her here didn't mean she would guide the other girls and awaken them. I couldn't force her to play along, and I wasn't going to spoon feed her success, so either they would ban together or they would die.

I didn't want to watch the world crumble, or see innocent people die, but I wasn't some warrior of justice.

I wasn't Sailor Moon.

But then, I didn't have to be in order to get what I want.

It was difficult, finding the Aino family in London; difficult and time consuming, but not impossible. Minako had been an excellent volleyball player at one point, her team even making the paper as Shiba Koen Junior High's star pupils, proudly going to state. Her old school would have what I needed, though giving out personal information such as an address wouldn't be allowed.

A phone number, however, was all I needed.

"Aino Residence." A woman's voice answered from the other end of the payphone.

"Hi there," I began. "Um, I was wondering if you could help me with something. I'm looking for Aino Minako, would this happen to be the right number?"

"Yes, but I'm afraid Minako isn't home at the moment." The UK was around eight hours behind, and though I had purposely called when Minako was supposed to be at school, part of me hadn't actually expected it to work. The woman on the phone continued. "May I ask whose calling?"

"Oh, how rude of me!" My voice softened. "My name is Tachibana Hana, I used to go to school with Minako-chan. I was actually calling because I found some of her old things and wanted to send them to her. A couple photographs, a bracelet she lent me, that sort of thing."

"That's very kind of you, Tachibana-san." It really wasn't. "Here, let me give you the address, do you have a pen and paper?"

Once she'd given it to me and made promises to tell her daughter I had called, I was finally free to hang up. Earlier in the week I had taken some liberties at school, borrowing the materials required to make this endeavor a success. I had the envelope, and I had the stamps, all I was missing were the words. It had to be perfect, just right or she wouldn't be lured in to take the bait, and it had to be in English or I would be here all night struggling with grammar issues and a headache. Sailor V struck me as someone that enjoyed being shrouded in mystery, so maybe something vague would better catch her interest.

Slowly, the words came to me and though I wasn't thrilled with the finished result, it would simply have to do. Hopefully she'd take the poetic nature of it and pin someone like Tuxedo Mask as the sender; it was certainly cliché enough to sound plausible.

After sealing the envelope and gifting it an obscene amount of stamps, I sent it on its way. I didn't know how long it would take to get there, and I didn't care so long as it arrived. This was it for me, this was as far as my part went; all I could do now was wait and see. The outcome of my letter left so much uncertain, everything was up in the air at this point. Well, that wasn't entirely true; there was one guarantee I had no matter the outcome, one decision I was determined to stick to.

I was getting the hell out of Tokyo.

* * *

When Minako Aino arrived home on the last day of school before summer break, she had no idea of the letter sitting in her mailbox.

She had no idea of the weight it carried.

 _Venus,_

 _The Moon Princess is in grave danger, she is close to being found._

 _Tokyo is falling, the city in which she resides is about to become a hunting ground._

 _It's time to do your duty as leader of the Sailor Scouts; awaken Mercury, Jupiter, and Mars_

 _Ami, Makoto, Rei_

 _Find them, and find them quickly, or the princess will become prey._

 _Time is of the essence_

* * *

A/N

I had a plan.

I had a plan of how this story was going to go and the story said screw you, we're going in this direction.

Writers make plans and stories laugh.

Anyway,

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	5. Chapter 5

Avoiding Mamoru Chiba turned out to be a much more difficult task than I had previously anticipated.

See, I'd had a plan, and with that plan came a map detailing which places I could and couldn't cross into. Every night I went over that damn thing, memorizing streets that could potentially lead me into any red zones and generally just getting better familiarized with the surrounding area.

Now, the flaw was not exactly to be found within the map, or the plan itself; life was a mix of trial and error, and right now I was simply learning what places I might have overlooked and where adjustments needed to be made. It was micro-managing, fine tuning the system under which I operated, so any near misses or close calls I might have had did not under any circumstances mean that the plan was a failure.

Rather, I was in enemy territory and still getting the hang of things.

Perseverance was key, and I had more than enough time to work on it. When I wasn't toiling over school, I was strategizing over the future; how soon until the sailor scouts arrived, what to do if I found myself caught up in one of their battles, how long it would take me to gather the funds to flee the city, my enemies on a scale of one to ten. Day after day I thought of possibilities, the angles I could work in worse case scenarios, the endless train of thought constantly hovering in the back of my mind, whispering _what if?_

It was a… unpleasant way to live, but I didn't know how to stop it, and who could blame me?

I was scared.

Aliens wanted to take over the world, kill us all, and I was expected to fight them off. It was insane, because what could I possibly do? I didn't know how to fight, I wasn't a leader or brave or anything. I was a nineteen year old girl, with an unspecified major and an allergy to cats. I had asthma, couldn't run a damn mile, and I was easily startled; I couldn't do the whole soldier of justice thing, I just- I couldn't.

All I could do was work on getting away.

But first I had to make it through finals.

"You have until the end of the hour to finish the questions." Our sensei watched us sternly, lips thin and eyes sharp as a hawk. "Once the hour is up you must put down your pencils, no exceptions. If you finish early flip the answer sheet over and remain in your seat. There will be no talking until the hour is up, and cheating will not be tolerated; anyone caught doing so will result in the forfeit of their test, receiving a zero on the exam. You may begin."

As one, the class flipped their exam sheets and began.

It was our final test, and thankfully, it was math. I hadn't done so great with the other subjects, but math was something I could keep up with. It differed slightly in japan, but like most things for me here it was just another puzzle to be decoded. Compared to the other tests, this one had a minimal amount of words to work through, and luckily a good amount of them were repetitive throughout the test, making it easier to understand the questions the further in I was.

I hadn't done very well on the other tests, my little handicap called the language barrier having slowed me down, but I was pretty confident I'd passed and in the long run that was really the only thing that mattered. I wasn't the first person done with my test, but I was definitely in the above average percentile. When I finished, I flipped my test sheet face down as instructed and propped my chin on the open palm of my hand. With little else to do, I let my mind wander.

It'd been over three weeks since I last met Mamoru, and over two weeks since the letter had been sent. I couldn't help but wonder whether it had arrived at its destination yet; if so, did that mean Sailor Venus was on her way? I hoped that was the case, because any other possibility did not bode well for me. If she was here, would she meet up with Luna? Would she be looking for the other Sailor Scouts? Hell, would she even be able to find them?

I wished I could've given her more information, but unfortunately I didn't really remember anything of use to her. The only reason I even recalled her full name was because of the pun in it; soldier of love indeed. The other's last names were lost to me, and though I knew Rei lived in a shrine somewhere in the area, it wasn't something I had really wanted to put in writing. Knowing a name was one thing, but it might have been a bit alarming to let on anything more personal, like an address or occupation.

Plus, Rei was someone I would prefer to be found last.

That sixth sense of hers could cause problems for me, and there wasn't much I could do about it either.

"Alright, the hour is up." Sensei said, his voice booming. "Flip your test sheets and pass them forward!"

As the bell rang, releasing us for the day, there was an atmosphere of relief among the class. It was the final test of the week, and a Friday, which left us with a nice break before we went back on Monday to see the results of our work. Wednesday would be the last day for us before the beginning of break, and with any luck I wouldn't have to do summer school. Summer vacation was nearly six weeks, and I intended to make full use of it. I followed the flow of students, down the stairs and to my locker, where trouble leaned against the locker next to mine, waiting for me.

"Well, that was a nightmare." Naru muttered, tucking a strand of curly red hair behind an ear before crossing her arms. "If I never have to take another test again, it will be too soon."

I hummed my agreement as I opened my locker and switched shoes. To the passing observer Naru appeared casual and unconcerned, but there was an intent gleam in her gaze that told another story. This was more than simple small talk, Naru was on a mission.

"Yeah, you know Yumi-chan was really stressed about it." She began, tone uncharacteristically serious. "Her parents can be mega strict sometimes, and totally uncool about it. The girls and I wanted to cheer her up, so we're going out for ice cream and shopping."

"Ah." My voice was neutral, and I had a feeling I knew where this was going.

Naru, not really one to dance around the subject, cut straight to the point. "You've been busy lately, I get that. Yumiko could use the support right now though, and she'd be really happy if you came along."

She didn't say it in a questioning tone, she wasn't actually asking; there was weight here, in this moment and I sensed we were at a turning point. My decision here was important, maybe not weight-of-the-world so, but it mattered all the same. Naru had never been my favorite person, she was the typical preteen; very in tune to what was cool and what wasn't, prone to gossip, and crazy about the latest trends.

That said, there was something that separated Naru from others and it was part of the reason she was so popular. When push came to shove, Naru truly cared about the people around her, and she wasn't afraid to call anyone out when something they did had rubbed her wrong.

I wasn't Serenity, I wasn't obligated to stick by her friends or follow the path she'd been walking. However, the way Naru was currently looking at me left the distinct impression that somehow I was doing wrong by her. I was kind of irritated, and not for the reasons I should have been; she was humbling me and it was working. God knew I didn't owe these people anything, we were strangers with no ties, but.. that was only my perspective of things. Serenity's friends were just kids, and I was doing my best to distance myself from them and they didn't understand why.

Maybe I was obligated to this, a single day every once in a while when they truly needed me to play along. It wouldn't cost much, and eventually they'd realize how far the drifted between us was, and they would move on. In the midst of plots and scheming, I could afford to take a break. Good karma and all that.

I shrugged. "I've got some time on my hands to spare."

Naru beamed.

"Time's ticking." She linked arms with me, and off we went.

The other girls were waiting for us at the school gates, and they all seemed happy at my presence as we left the school behind, talking more animatedly than I remembered and filling me in on any gossip I wasn't aware of. I was on high alert as we strolled closer to the busier area of town, crossing right into one of the red zones I'd been avoiding. Because of this I was only able to listen halfheartedly to the girls, too concentrated on our surroundings.

I had an advantage in evading Mamoru, and part of it was his lack of knowledge concerning me; I knew his home and school, but by withholding a last name from him there was no way for Boy Scout to look me up. This made the Tsukino residence and the middle school the only two green zones for me, where I was the safest. However, that would be ruined if I was to be spotted in my school uniform. All it would take for me to run out of safe places would be for Mamoru to approach one of my classmates, inquiring over me.

So it was possible that I might have been a little tense as our group sat down at the sweets shop and began ordering. To be fair though I made an honest effort to be part of the conversation, and I appeared to do a well enough job of it as Naru paid less and less attention to me as the day wore on. Yumiko, for her part, looked to be having a great time, leading us around to various shops after we'd filled ourselves full. It was nice to see them having fun, but there was also an emptiness accompanying the feeling. I was here with them, but we weren't in this together.

It was a chore, like taking out garbage or cleaning dishes.

It was a shallow imitation of something I used to have, and nothing more. The girls continued to prance about the streets and I resigned myself to following, mind curiously blank, when we turned a corner and something caught my eye. Just ahead of us stood an older boy, sporting martial arts clothing and attempting to hand out flyers to anyone that would take one. One or two people slowed long enough to receive one, but most just ignored him, eyes forward and expression indifferent.

I slowed and listened in to what he was saying as we grew closer, curiosity getting the better of me.

"-noble art of Aikido, the first lesson is free!" He waved a flyer at a man only to receive a dirty look in return. Naru and the other girls didn't bat an eye as they began to pass him, but I paused, in turn catching the older boy's attention. He grinned at me, stepping forward to cut in between myself and the girls. "Now you have the look of someone interested. Tell me, do you have any experience in martial arts?"

"Not really, no." I replied. Yumiko, having noticed my absence, paused to watch as the older boy nodded understandingly. He was watching me, but I focused on her long enough to catch the once over she gave him before coming to stand next to me. She flushed as he gave her a bright smile, happy to have an audience.

"That's alright." He said, leaning in slightly. "I'll let you two in on a secret, aikido is the best martial art to learn, anyone can do it with the right motivation."

"Really?" said Yumiko.

"Definitely!" The older boy laughed. "I bet pretty girls like you have problems keeping guys away. Aikido is about using the opponent's strength against them, it's a form of self-defense that works well against bigger people, and like I said, the first lesson is free."

Self-defense?

I accepted a flyer from him and pondered over it as Yumiko began to flirt. I didn't know much about martial arts or fighting in general, it had always seemed a little out of my league, bit given the situation it couldn't hurt to check it out. Fighting didn't exactly appeal to me, it was the part about defending that drew me in, the idea of not being completely useless if I ever needed to defend myself; well, that and the whole first lesson free thing. After all, what were the odds that I wasn't going to find myself in a bad situation sooner or later?

If I was going to be traveling on my own in the future, how likely was it that someone would try to take advantage of me? Now that the idea was cemented in my mind, I couldn't help but think there had to be a hundred different forms of self-defense. With the right resources, perhaps I'd be able to learn them all.

Anything to raise my chances of survival.

"When's the next class?" I asked, unintentionally interrupting Yumiko. I glanced at her in apology, but this was more important than her conquest, I had to know.

The older boy looked at me, his expression taking a serious turn as though he was considering something. Then the blinding smile was back as he answered. "There's a beginner's class tomorrow morning, at nine. Any other questions you have will be answered there, and after you can decide if it's something you'd like to continue."

"Thanks." I studied the flyer once more, letting Yumiko take hold of the conversation.

It was just one class, and it was free.

What did I have to lose?

* * *

The next morning I was up with the sun and out the door at the usual eight a.m.

I pulled my hair into a ponytail as I walked, smoothing the fabric of my black tank top as I grew closer to the red zone. The sweatpants I wore were made of a lighter material, suitable for a workout but not so thick as to make me overheat in the summer warmth. It was a cloudless, sunny day and I would have basked in this sort of weather were it not for the paranoia plaguing my decision to willingly enter a hotspot of my own accord.

The reward far outweighed the risk though, it was too good an opportunity to pass up so there was nothing to be done about it. I didn't intend to go around fighting people, but if they came at me I wanted to be able to live through the experience.

In fact, I was determined to.

The supernatural world wasn't the only threat to be wary of, regular people could be equally dangerous and it would be stupid of me to pass up the chance of one day being able to hold my own against an attacker. My resolve to live was what kept me steady as I made my way down the shopping district to the address on the flyer.

Even though I arrived early, when I entered the dojo there were several other newcomers already here. They were dressed in workout clothes as well, all having removed their shoes before stepping further in. I followed suit, untying my own shoes and setting them aside before joining the crowd. As we waited I found myself observing the dojo and its layout; the room was long and rectangular, more spacious than I had expected, and the walls were sparsely decorated.

I had never seen a dojo before, so as far as I knew there was nothing abnormal about the place. That said, I couldn't help contemplating the usefulness of wooden floor mats. I imagined it wouldn't feel too good to fall onto one like this rather than a nice, cushioned gym mat. Then again, maybe it was supposed to serve as an incentive, to not allow the opponent to get the better of you or something; perhaps it was one of those No Pain No Game type of things.

Only three more people joined us before the lesson began and we met the man in charge, Hajime-sensei.

Now, for reasons beyond me I had somehow gotten it into my mind that our instructor would be an old man with some words of wisdom to share. Hajime-sensei was a hulk of a man, and he looked to be about forty years younger than anticipated. Built like a tank and sporting a no nonsense attitude, he was intimidating to say the least. When he called for our attention and told us to sit in a circle around him, we scrambled into action. I highly doubted a single one of us here was about to disobey any order thrown our way; I half expected him to tell us to drop and give him fifty.

Instead, Hajime-sensei looked us square in the eye and said. "You are gathered here today because you are interested in learning the art of aikido, and I'm sure many of you have questions but before we can delve into any of the finer details there is something I must first tell you and it is this: everything you _think_ you might know about aikido is more than likely wrong."

He paused for a moment, allowing us to soak in his words before continuing.

"You see, aikido is not like other martial arts. As a wise man once said, aikido is the realization of love. If the appeal of strength, of the ability to defeat your adversaries and claim victory over them is what brought you to my dojo, then this is not the place for you. Aikido is non-resistance, not about fighting and defeating enemies but about reconciling the world; it is a mission to protect, nurture, and love all things."

A pit of unease swelled in me when I considered my motivation.

I was here because I enjoyed the idea of being strong enough to defend myself, of having the skill to hurt anyone attempting to hurt me. I didn't actually _want_ to hurt anyone, but I couldn't deny the hunger growing in me; to be able to take anything thrown my way and give it right back twice as hard. It must have been easier for these people to preach of love and follow the path of non-resistance; for them, danger wasn't around the next corner and physical altercation was only a faint possibility.

I didn't have that kind of luxury.

The world wasn't out to get me but it seemed to be hell bent on dragging me into something I wanted nothing to do with. For me, physical altercation was only a matter of time, and fleeing wouldn't always be an option. Aikido was a nice concept in theory, but my world simply didn't work that way; I certainly wasn't going to try and reconcile with someone trying to kill me.

Still, I wasn't going to walk away just yet.

"While you chew that over, I'd like to give a demonstration." Hajime-sensei said, turning and motioning to someone just out of my view. "Matsuo, if you would?"

Matsuo entered the circle into my line of sight, and to my surprise I recognized him; the older boy that had given me the flyer yesterday. Hajime-sensei introduced him as his assistant, and Matsuo waved to us, grin widening as he spotted me among the others. He turned to Hajime-sensei. "Go easy on me okay? I'm delicate."

The older man snorted, and then the two were circling each other. The demonstration was short, lasting only about ten seconds before Matsuo went from his feet to flipping onto the floor. I winced, thoughts going back to the practicality of the mats, but he didn't appear to be hurt, simply laughed good naturedly and taking Hajime-sensei's offered hand to get back up. Matsuo gave an exaggerated bow as the audience clapped, and then Hajime-sensei had us lined up to learn a wrist locking technique.

The rest of the lesson flew by quickly, where questions were asked and we learned about the fees and training schedule of the dojo. Though I wasn't sure I agreed with all of his beliefs, I liked Hajime-sensei and as long as I was welcome at the dojo I wanted to come back. When the lesson ended I finished putting my shoes back on when Matsuo approached me.

"So, what did you think?" He teased. "Is the great and noble art of aikido for you?"

"Well, I suppose we'll find out."

Matsuo brightened at that. "That's good to hear. You know, I had a feeling when I gave you that flyer yesterday, and it looks like I was spot on. Good instincts are a part of my training, Hajime-sensei will be proud."

"Undoubtedly." A laugh escaped me. "I'm sure your instincts are razor sharp."

"Hey, you wouldn't be here if they weren't." He pointed out, handing me a piece of paper. "Anyway, I figured you'd need a waiver; just have your parents sign it and bring in the money when you come back."

"Right." I glanced at the form blankly, having briefly forgotten my minor status. I would just have to forge a signature for it, there was no way I'd be able to bring myself to ask them. I'd also have to explain how I was going to pay for it, and that was a conversation I did not feel up to having. I turned my attention back to Matsuo. "This place does monthly payments right? Is cash okay here? My parents are pretty busy, I don't know when they'd have the time to come in and pay themselves."

He shrugged. "Cash, check, it all works as long as the payment is on time."

"Alright, thanks." I grabbed my bag and turned to leave when his hand shot out, fingers barely grazing my arm, and I paused.

"You're going to go without telling me your name?" There was amusement in his tone as he lowered his hand.

"Oh, sorry about that." It had slipped my mind. "my name's Usagi."

"Welcome aboard, Usagi-chan." Matsuo grinned mischievously. "Hopefully you'll be able to keep up with us big kids."

"I guess you'll just have to wait and see." I turned toward the door and opened it before calling over my shoulder. "Later, Matsuo- _chan_."

The faint sound of laughter became muffled as the door shut behind me.

* * *

It was noon, and the sun was nearly blinding as I strolled down the street, leaving the dojo behind.

Hajime-sensei had left me with an uncomfortable amount of philosophical questions to agonize over, and despite my busy schedule today my mind kept drifting back to them. Summer break was coming up, making it an ideal time to begin my search for a job and that was how I found myself boarding a bus that went to the town's train station.

I had done the math and realistically speaking I could get a job pretty much anywhere within a thirty mile radius of the Tsukino residence so long as it was reachable by public transportation. The Azabu-Juuban district was only an itty bitty place in the Minato ward of Tokyo, and there was no reason I couldn't look for work outside of it. I claimed a seat next to the window and settled in, failing to not think about Hajime-sensei's words as the bus took off.

I'd thought my intentions were pure, going into the lesson, and even now I didn't consider them to be insidious but they hadn't been as genuine as I would have liked. I wasn't an altruistic person though, I wasn't going into this for anything other than my own selfish desire. At the core of things there was one basic truth to the majority of my actions, and it was that I valued my life and future above everyone else's.

A better person would have borne the burden thrust on them, would have taken up the mantle of Sailor Moon proudly and begun the battle for humanity. A better person would have put their life on the line because the fate of the world _did_ rest on this war and the wars to come. A better person wouldn't be avoiding responsibility, wouldn't be running away even though they were scared; no, see a better person would stand and fight.

I wasn't a better person though, and I had already accepted my failings.

There was a prickle at the back of my neck as the bus stopped, allowing passengers off and on, before moving on again. I blinked, falling back into the world as someone seated themselves next to me and I turned my head to meet familiar blue eyes.

"Long time no see." Mamoru said, studying me.

"Boy Scout." The words came out bluntly, without thought as I stared back at him in alarm. His eyebrow twitched at the nickname, but Mamoru didn't comment on it. His torso was turned toward me, blocking any chance of escape and once again there was an intensity about him, hidden just under the surface as he watched me.

"How are you?" He asked, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Not having any more spills, I hope."

"Not as of late, no." I replied slowly. Then, because the situation was already shit and because I couldn't help myself, I gave a sugary smile and added. "I _have_ been meeting some rather interesting people though. In fact, just yesterday there was an older boy I met on the street that showed me a pretty stellar place."

Mamoru's expression began to strain as I continued. "I wasn't too sure about his friend at first, seemed like the kind of person you really didn't want to meet in a dark alleyway, you know? It was certainly a learning experience though, and guys are always rough no matter where you go."

"Usagi.." Mamoru sounded as though he was in pain, and he was clearly questioning my sense of self preservation. "tell me you didn't let another stranger take you home."

"Technically, we didn't go to his home, and there were a bunch of other people there anyway."

"People you knew?"

"Not even a little bit."

Mamoru gave a long suffering sigh, and when he looked at me again it was with narrowed eyes. "You know, it's a bit odd we haven't run into each other in the past couple of weeks. There were a handful of times I could have sworn I'd seen you, from the corner of my eye or in the distance, always just out of sight."

"Yeah…odd." Maybe because I'd been running around the whole damn town working to avoid him.

God knew he wasn't making it easy on me.

"Well, now that we're here I suppose its moot point." He hummed. "I still have your clothes from last time; you should probably come by and get them at some point. Or I could bring them to you if you give me your address."

I gave a weak laugh. "You know what? Keep them, they're yours."

"What am I supposed to do with girl clothes?"

"Begin your crossdressing collection?"

"Call me crazy," He leaned closer. "but somehow I get the feeling that I'm being avoided."

Right, straight to it then.

"Well, you see, I'm not a big fan of social situations." I told him. "You could even say I'm not a big fan of people in general. I'll have you know that I have literally no friends, and this conversation is quickly filling my weekly quota of social interactions."

"Being alone all the time isn't a very healthy way to live."

His words stung more than they had any right to, and something in me grew cold.

"If I wanted your opinion on it I'd have asked." I snapped, turning away.

It was quiet for a few moments.

"I'm sorry." He said. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"I'm _not_ upset." I sighed and rubbed at my temple. "What do you want from me, Mamoru?"

The question seemed to surprise him, and he gave a long pause before answering. "Have you ever felt… out of place? Like you're going through the motions of life, but you keep missing a step?" He must have saw something in me as I held his gaze, because then he added. "There are so many things in my life right now that are just out of reach, just beyond my grasp and it's exhausting."

The bus began to slow as it neared the next stop, and my attention was torn between it and him. I braced myself to stand when Mamoru pressed a palm to my shoulder, as though the light pressure would be enough to keep me there. "Look, I know I'm not really making any sense right now, and you don't owe me anything, but will you sit a little longer?"

I didn't want to stay, I really didn't; it was the raw sadness in those pretty blue eyes of his that held me in place as the bus doors closed. He relaxed as we began moving again, hand falling back to his side. I waited for him to continue what he'd been saying, but Mamoru couldn't seem to find the right words.

"…I'm getting the impression that you're on some kind of soul-searching quest." I began quietly. "I don't know what it is that you're chasing, some meaning to your life or a change from the mundane. I don't know and it isn't my business but I have to ask; are you certain that you aren't better off without whatever it is you're looking for?"

"It's just something I need to do." The intensity was back as we stared at each other. "I've reach a point where there isn't any going back."

I could understand that.

The chuckle that left my lips was bleak as the irony dawned upon me. What a pair we made, one chasing destiny and the other running from it.

"I think you're avoiding me," Mamoru accused. "and I want you to stop. See, we wouldn't even be here right now having this conversation if you'd just acted normal. There are a million things wrong in my life that I'm constantly on the run trying to change, and this isn't supposed to be one of them. I don't really have the time to chase another thing around town."

He was bothered, personally offended by my avoidance for the simple reason that it added me to the list of things out of his reach. Despite my amusement I couldn't make him any promises, we were after different things and I wasn't willing to give mine up to satisfy his needs.

I needed to get him off my back for now.

"I think you live in that apartment all alone." I told him. "It's a nice apartment, and you go to a nice school, so I think you have some serious money too. I'm willing to bet that the luxuries you have, came at a steep price most likely in the form of a tragic past. Most importantly, I think that despite everything you have it's just not enough and you go looking for something to fill that hole. That makes you trouble, especially if you're willing to cross lines and do things that risk what you have.

"I may not know you very well, but with the way you are now I have a feeling I'm better off not knowing."

I didn't give him time to make any sort of defense. I stood as the bus crawled to a stop once more, keeping my gaze downward as he let me through to the isle. I felt dirty as I told him I hoped he found what he was looking for, knowing he likely never would. I got off that bus as fast as I could, not knowing what part of town I was stepping into. It hardly mattered at this point, as I was never getting on another bus again; I'd walk everywhere for the rest of my life if it meant avoiding another confrontation. As the doors closed behind me I turned, catching those blues eyes for the briefest of seconds before the bus moved forward.

This time, they were blank.

* * *

A/N

This chapter was brought to you by Poor Life Choices,

I hope my inability to be a productive member of society made at least one of you guys happy.

Anyway, canon is closing in alarmingly fast so things for a certain someone can only go downhill from here. Cheers to better days right?

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N

 **Are you paying attention?**

I hope so because I only want to have to say this once.

You don't have to read my author notes, god know I don't always read others when I'm on a fanfic. Not going to lie, sometimes I really like writing the author's note even when it's not necessary because it's my best way of communicating with my readers. So sometimes I'm just writing about ultimately pointless things that I wanted to share with you guys, and sometimes I'm giving further information or answering your questions.

So, real quick I'll write out a couple of facts concerning this fic, and hopefully it will clear a couple things up for those of you that didn't read the previous author notes.

Rabbit of the Moon is a hellish combination of the original Sailor Moon anime & Crystal

The timeline is absolutely fucked, so I'm going with what I can live writing.

The original Usagi, who I refer to as Serenity, no longer exists. For lack of a better term to describe her end, I'd say she was absorbed into our protagonist. Serenity is very much gone, and she will not be returning… probably.

Yes, this is going to be a darker take on Sailor Moon, and if that upsets anyone I apologize for not putting it in the summary, will fix immediately.

 **TL:DR** I don't PM people to answer or explain something, I always use author notes so whether or not you read them is up to you guys. (I probably wouldn't read them either, to be fair)

With that said, on to the story!

Disclaimer: Sailor moon belongs to our lord and savior, Naoko Takeuchi.

* * *

 _Mamoru P.O.V._

She had sad eyes.

It hadn't been any of his business and after all, what was a stranger, a random girl in the park, to him? He wanted to say that she'd been nothing special, no one really, but that wasn't quite true, was it? Mamoru might not have been the best with memories, but even now weeks later he could remember feeling it, the moment she had stepped foot into the park. The compulsion to look up from his book had been unavoidable, and when he had done so his gaze had landed right onto her.

But she never looked directly at him.

There had been something… despairing, about her as she scanned the park, overlooking him not once but twice. He remembered thinking it was strange, how she had somehow caught his attention and yet he remained unseen by her. Then again, stranger things had happened and so he'd dismissed the thought, had decided to return to his book. That had been the moment she shifted, as though to leave, and something inside him froze, screaming that this was all wrong.

She couldn't leave before they had met.

He'd just wanted to talk to her, find out what it was about her that felt so familiar to him, but she hadn't been paying attention, had turned into him as he'd been about to bump into her and the force had been too hard. She'd fallen, and it had sort of been his fault. Mamoru had tried to make up for it, and now, in the present as he watched her walk off the bus he began to think that perhaps that had been his mistake. Usagi was none of his business, he should have left it alone; it was hard though, especially when her heart appeared as heavy as his own.

She had sad eyes, eyes that understood loss but that wasn't all; there was a quality of… sorrow about the entirety of her. Mamoru could tell, just by looking at her that not all was right in the world of Usagi and he could understand if only that had been the end of it. She avoided him though, avoided him like the plague and he couldn't understand why, because they were clearly kindred spirits. Confronting her had done the opposite of help, and she had quietly lasted out. To a degree he could also understand this, and he wouldn't force his presence upon her after having made herself clear.

Still, it bothered him that someone so obviously world weary like himself would run.

He could see it; in the way she moved, spoke and carried herself.

Usagi was the girl with sad eyes, and she was alone.

* * *

 _Main P.O.V._

Like most good things, the weekend dwindled away far too quickly.

In the blink of an eye, I found myself surrounded by the flurry of activity that often haunted Mondays. Finals had been posted, and I tried not to let the fact that I was among the class average hurt my ego; yeah, I was a college girl, but I was working with a language barrier here. Circumstances aside, the thought of my upcoming vacation looming just around the corner was enough to sate me. With so much time on my hands, there were a million things I wanted to do; but first, I really needed to find a job, and it would probably have to be under the table work.

Hopefully, someone in this city was cool with hiring a fourteen year old.

"-do you think?"

I blinked, tuning back in as Yumiko snapped her fingers in front of me.

"Sorry," My legs crossed as I leaned forward in my desk. "What did you say?"

She sighed and brushed a lock of hair behind her shoulder. As easy as it was to zone out during class, it was even easier to do so when any of Serenity's friends started chatting. My mind was filled to the brim with information these days, filtering out pointless things was the only thing keeping me sane so this was a regular occurrence between us. Yumiko, bless her heart, was kind enough to indulge me, even if I didn't necessarily care about the same things she enjoyed.

"I asked if you were coming with us today." She began, "That new boutique that opened up a couple months ago is having another sale and after that we were going to check out Naru's place, they're having a sale too. It's going to be a stellar day for shopping, and I definitely need a new swimsuit."

"I have tutoring today," The lie came easily and without thought. "My parents aren't going to let me out of it any time soon. Have fun though."

"Your loss.." She shrugged, turning forward to grab the stack of papers being passed back. They were the results of an old English test recently graded, and Yumiko shuffled through them for a second before finding hers. I received the stack from her and dug out my own before handing the stack to the person behind me. I glanced at the red seventy three once then peered over Yumiko's shoulder to compare our results. Her paper adorned an eighty in the same red pen, and she appeared pleased with the grade.

"Tutoring, huh?" Yumiko voiced, checking my own paper. "Whoever has the patience to deal with you must be quite a saint."

"Thanks." I shoved the paper into my schoolbag. "That really warms my heart."

"Just calling it as I see it." She grinned.

Fair enough.

For a Monday, the school day turned out to be pretty laid back. In some classes we reviewed a couple things, but mostly it was lectures and graded tests or papers being returned to us. Any student that had failed a test or two would be given the chance to take a makeup test on Wednesday, but those who failed a second time would be attending summer school along with the rest of the flunkies. I suspected that was why no one had bothered to give us homework today, so those students had a fighting chance.

Well, that and the fact that our teachers were likely saving it all up for the unholy tradition of _summer homework_.

Not once in my life had I ever had homework during summer vacation, and now that it was nearly upon me I could no longer withhold judgement on the Japanese school system; yes, it was far superior to the average American education, but giving students homework during their vacation?

It was an abomination.

The outrageous concept continued to plague me as the school day ended and I scurried away from the learning institution, careful to keep out of Naru's line of sight. I was still taking the long way back to the Tsukino residence, and since I had business to take care of today and it couldn't be done in my school uniform, I returned to the house earlier than usual. I was stepping out of my shoes when Ikuko popped out of thin air, startling me as she said. "Oh, you're home early Usagi-chan."

"Ah, yeah." Eye contact for more than a few seconds was difficult for me when it came to her, but I did my best to keep it as I moved over to the stairs. "I just wanted to change real quick, I'll be heading out again."

"Alright…" She eyed curiously. "Well, I set your allowance on your bed for you. Did you want a snack before you go?"

"No thanks, I'm meeting up with some friends and we're going to go eat." Lying to Ikuko was different, somehow. My heartbeat always quickened, and there would be a moment where I waited to see whether she saw through the lie or not; either way, she never called me out on it.

Ikuko nodded her head in understanding, and I headed up the stairs.

Serenity's room would never be a comforting place for me, but that was okay; I wasn't looking for comfort. Circumstance had made me a thief, I had taken this body and I would use whatever else this place had to offer in these desperate times. There were a lot of things of Serenity's that I would never wear, but I didn't throw them out. Instead, I shoved them to the far edges of the closet and on top of shelves. Serenity had a lot of clothes, and from the selection I'd made myself a small section of wearable items in the center of her closet.

In my search, I had found a pair of high wasted black slacks with the tag still on them. Professional, interview worthy slacks that Serenity must have disliked, from the way she'd buried them under a pile of clothes. They had creases from sitting folded for an unforeseen amount of time, but once I had them on you could hardly tell. I threw on a white blouse, tucking it into the waste of my pants and proceeded to sneak back out of the house before I ran into Ikuko again. I wore my school shoes since they were the nicest ones Serenity had that didn't sport higher heels.

I traveled along the outer parts of the Azabu-Juuban district, where I had a better chance of not running into anyone unsavory. There were plenty of places around hiring for part time and seasonal positions, so it should have been relatively easy to find someone willing to hire me; I was young, enthusiastic to work, more than willing to learn and I had open availability.

I was the perfect candidate for employment, and yet everyone I went to turned me away.

Hours passed, and my feet began to hurt as I went from store to store with no results. It was an endless stream of _we're looking for someone a bit older_ , or _I need someone with a bit more experience,_ or _the work is demanding and you simply don't seem like the right fit._ Apologetic denials and vague wishes of good luck. It didn't matter how much I smiled, or how confident I presented myself, no one wanted to hire me and they didn't seem to like the thought of paying me under the table.

I wanted to shout in their faces that _yes_ I _did_ have experience, I had bused tables, waitressed, and had been a barista. I had the same amount of working experience as any other employee in their shops, and unlike them I would work like a dog because this was something I needed. I couldn't say any of it though, and I couldn't provide proof of former employment so saying that I had prior work experience would have them thinking I was a compulsive liar or something.

The sun had begun to set when I finally gave up for the day. I sat down on an empty bench, head in my hands and mentally beating back the wave of emotion threatening to overtake me. I told myself to calm down, because there was no use in upsetting myself and it wasn't the end of the world; tomorrow I would go back out and widen my search, target owners that were more likely to have a soft spot and make up some kind of sob story that would hopefully guilt them into hiring me.

It wasn't that big of a deal, I would get through this.

"Usagi-chan?" A male voiced called, pulling me out of my thoughts. I lifted my head to see Matsuo standing only a few feet away; he was in casual clothes for once, carrying a plastic bag in each hand and watching me curiously. There was a hint of concern in his expression, perhaps from the bland smile I had plastered on, and he observed me for a second before coming over and sitting down on bench beside me. "…Rough day?"

"Job hunting." I turned to face him, though my gaze didn't quite meet his. My fingertips ran along the outer seam of my slacks, mentally counting each stitch as I added, "Apparently, no one wants to hire a flaky girl like me to work for them under the table."

"Ah," Matsuo hummed sympathetically. "Your school doesn't allow you to work, huh? Mine used to be the same way, before I transferred."

I said nothing, not wanting to confirm or deny it; for all I knew, it was entirely feasible that my school didn't allow part time jobs so it wasn't exactly a lie. For a moment the two of us were silent, then Matsuo shifted, tilting his head down to catch my gaze, lips curving into a smile.

"You know, I might know a place willing to hire for some off the books work."

"Really?" My tone was cautiously optimistic as I eyed him, and he laughed.

"Sure." Matsuo grinned. "Even a flaky girl would be welcome, as long as she worked hard."

"I am." My hands went to his shoulders, and I began shaking him playfully. "I will be the hardest worker you have ever seen in your life. Cross my heart, scouts honor, and all that other stuff."

He better not be lying, because I knew a thing or two about aikido, and I told him as much.

"I believe you," He chuckled. "now quit your shaking so we can go."

Right now?

I grinned, rejuvenated and hopped off the bench, dragging Matsuo along with me.

It really wasn't the end of the world.

* * *

It was a god damn cosplay café.

On the outside, The Fabler's café appeared perfectly normal; it was only once you stepped foot into the place that the world transformed around you. Blue, shimmery cloth was draped over every table and hung along every window as curtains. Beige netting had been artfully pinned on the walls, adorning sea shells, starfish, and pearls. On each table there was a small vase, filled halfway with sand and holding a candle. The hanging overhead lights had been decorated to look like jellyfish, glowing beautifully above us.

I was breathless at the sight of it all, until I spotted the waitresses.

Floor length skirts with a mermaid cut and pattern made up the bottom half of their uniforms. Rather than the sea shell bra one might have expected, they wore cropped halter tops, made of sheer fabric and decorated with a plethora of shells. The skirts went high, up to the belly button so despite the extravagance of the outfits they did happen to cover more than any Halloween costume I'd ever worn. The three waitresses on duty all sported different colors, and they each had a different accessory in their hair; a shell tiara, a braid littered with pearls, etc.

For their part, all three of them appeared to be unhindered by the costumes as they worked.

Matsuo waved to one of the girls as he herded me through the café into the back. We went past the kitchen and into an office, and it was there that I was introduced to the owner of the café, a man by the name of Harumi. It took him all of three seconds to get up from his seat and begin to circle me, without a single word about employment even mentioned yet. I gave Matsuo an accusing glance, feeling a deep sense of betrayal; I was desperate, yeah, but he could have informed me in advance instead of just throwing me into the lion's den.

I tried not to squirm under Harumi's assessing gaze.

There was no delicate way to put this, so I was just going to say it; Harumi was the most unforgettable man I would ever meet. He was tall, with red hair and a makeup job that would put me and every other girl in the vicinity to shame. The work pants he wore were normal, but the white dress shirt on him seemed to be missing its sleeves. A quarter of the buttons were undone from the collar down, leaving a trail of skin to the properly buttoned vest over it.

Suddenly, Harumi stopped in front of me and set a hand under my chin, tilting my face this way and that.

"Well," He cooed. "aren't you a looker? Is your hair color natural? Such a pretty shade, oh, and what lovely skin."

"Uh, thanks." I stepped back, out of his grasp and slightly away from reach.

Harumi turned to Matsuo delightedly. "I knew there was a reason I kept you around, good job bringing her to me. Where on earth did you find a gem like that, and tell me you have more."

"Usagi-chan just started at the dojo." Matsuo explained. "We bumped into each other today, and she told me how she was having trouble finding a job, what with her school not allowing that sort of thing."

"The dojo, _really_?" Harumi huffed, arms crossed and shaking his head. "Figures. Hajime gets all the good ones, lucky idiot. Doesn't even know what to do with all the raw potential."

This piqued my interest.

"You know Hajime-sensei?" I couldn't picture the two of them in the same room, being so different from one another; then again, friendship could be found in the strangest of people. Harumi looked at me and giggled, as though I had said something funny. I turned to Matsuo for an explanation, and he was kind enough to take pity on me.

"Hajime-sensei is Harumi's brother." He said. "That's how I found out about this place, through Hajime-sensei."

"Ah." That was… unexpected. I set those thoughts aside, as they didn't matter much in the grand scheme of things; Harumi could be related to Hitler for all I cared. It was a job and I was in no position to refuse. "So, do I have a job?"

"Have you ever waitressed before?" There was a glint of amusement in Harumi's gaze.

"No." I straightened. "I'll learn how to though. I'm free during summer break, afterward I can work weekends and after school. Whenever you need me to come in."

"Oh?" He leaned in, eyes hooded and smirking wickedly. I found myself momentarily distracted, admiring the green eyeshadow and black eyeliner that made the gold of his eyes pop. I couldn't help but think he had to be the prettiest guy I had ever seen, and I might have been a little envious of his talent; I could probably take a hose to his face and he'd still have that allure. Harumi scrutinized me for longer than what was socially acceptable before finally exiting out of my personal space. "I like you. Come back on Wednesday and plan on being here a while; I'll make a schedule and take your measurements. Sundays are normally when we do fittings and whatnot, but I'll make an exception for you."

"Fittings?"

"Here at The Fabler's we do a different theme every month; last month it was A Knight's Legend, and this month it's The Siren's Call." Harumi answered. "Fittings and decorations take time to make and prepare, they're much more work than you would think. Now, you want the job don't you?"

My heart lifted.

"Of course." I said quickly. "Would it be okay to take a menu home with me?"

I would memorize it until my eyes bled, until I could recite every item on the list. A cosplay café wasn't ideal, but it was a stepping stone and money was money; the odds were rarely in my favor, and I likely wouldn't get another chance like this. Harumi turned to the desk behind him and shuffled through the papers before pulling out a menu.

"Here you go, sugar." He handed it to me and made a waving motion with his hands. "Now shoo you two, I have a business to run."

We made ourselves scarce, leaving the Café and its siren waitresses behind. The sky had already darkened to night, and the atmosphere was serene as the two of us walked along one of the lesser populated streets. I had a silly grin on my face, still giddy from success. I could have kissed Matsuo for helping me get a job; it had been an incredibly kind thing to do for someone he barely knew. I thanked him profusely, and for a while we chatted about random things before he offered to walk me home.

"Thanks, but it's fine." I declined. "I live pretty far from here, and it'd be more trouble than its worth for you to walk me all the way there and then head home yourself."

"Are you sure?" He asked, brows furrowed in concern.

"Yeah." I winked. "I'm a big kid, I can make it home on my own."

"Well, you _do_ know the wrist lock."

"That's right, I'm an aikido prodigy in the making."

Matsuo laughed. "Keep telling yourself that."

He wished me a safe trip home, and we parted ways.

Sleep was restless for me that night, exhaustion warring with my excitement at having gotten a job. When morning came there was pep in my step, and for the first time in forever I really felt alive; the future was just the slightest bit brighter. A job gave me funds, but more than that it gave me a sense of security; it wasn't connected to Serenity or Sailor Moon, it was purely my own. Maybe that's why I got along so well with Matsuo, there was no need to pretend to be Serenity, no looming threat of being dragged into a role I had no intention of playing.

I was just Usagi to him.

Maybe I wasn't too thrilled with the concept of cosplaying at work, but who's to say I won't eventually grow to like it? As long as the customers kept their hands to themselves, I thought I could learn to love The Fabler's. My mind continued to wander back to the enchantment of the café during the walk to school. It wasn't until I entered the classroom that I sensed something was off. The overall aura of the class was downcast as the students whispered about themselves, and I caught a couple people glancing my way more than once.

I slowed to a stop at my desk, setting my bag down and observing my classmates. It was then that one of them approached me, a boy with glasses that I had only spoken with once or twice. The words were out of my mouth before he had a chance to speak. "What's going on?"

"You haven't heard?" He asked incredulously. "I'd thought someone would have told you by now, I was coming over to see if you were okay…"

A pit began to form in my stomach.

"Haven't heard what?" I spoke slowly, almost afraid to ask.

"There was a break-in at Naru-san's jewelry store…" He said. "They're saying it was pretty bad, and that she's in the hospital. I thought since the rest of your friends didn't come in you wouldn't either… Usagi-san, there are rumors going around, that someone died."

All sound began to fade as I stood there, soaking the information in.

"Excuse me." I said and walked away.

No one stopped me as I walked out of the classroom, and then the school, leaving it all behind.

My feet moved, guiding by memories that weren't my own.

* * *

Naru held the appearance of a ghost as I snuck into her hospital room.

She was far too pale, and alarmingly thin; her red hair, once perky and bright, now appeared straw-like, somehow managing to look sickly against the plain white pillow she laid on. Looking at her, the phrase _one foot in the grave_ entered my mind, echoing over and over again. Naru was still in her hospital bed, dark circles around her closed lids and all skin and bones as an IV pumped nutrients and fluids into her system. Sleeping was not the appropriate word here, it was too peaceful sounding and there was not a single thing about her that could be considered at peace.

Naru was in a coma, and no one knew when or if she was going to wake up.

The doctors probably thought she had an eating disorder, from the looks of her. I wouldn't have been surprised if they thought the shock of the so called break-in had simply been too much for her, and she'd collapsed. There were no witnesses to say otherwise, no one except me that had an idea of what actually happened that night. Maybe I hadn't been there but I remembered well enough; this wasn't the work of an illness or a robber, it wasn't nearly so mundane. Her life force had been drained, by one of those supernatural… _things_.

The same things looking for the Silver Crystal.

Mamoru was looking for it as well though, he must have been the one to save her because Sailor Moon hadn't been around to. I lingered on that thought for a moment, but it became lost in the storm my mind was becoming.

Luna hadn't come.

She hadn't come for me, and I never ran into her because I hadn't been taking Serenity's school route. I'd have known this was going to happen if I hadn't been so busy off in my own world. I would have seen the signs… but then what?

Would I have had the courage to take action?

At the end of the day, would realizing have changed anything?

Over and over I had told myself that I didn't have what it took to be Sailor Moon. I wanted to say that had I realized the danger, I would have done everything in my power to help Naru. Deep down, I knew it wasn't likely; fear is a powerful thing, and fear that strong isn't something I've ever experienced before. I haven't ever had to risk my life, so I honestly didn't know how I'd react if it was threatened. As I watched the near lifeless form of Naru, it felt as though there was a lump forming in my throat. I swallowed it, shoved away the pit in my stomach, and left.

This was the decision I had made and I didn't get to be upset over it.

Naru had been hurt, but her exposure to the dark kingdom had been minimum compared to her mother, who was unstable as well and now completely gray. If she lost her mother, it would be partially because of me so I wasn't allowed to be apologetic and regretful; I didn't get to feel sorry for myself.

These were the consequences of my actions.

I didn't go back to school until Wednesday, where I found out from Yumiko that all the girls that had gone to Naru's shop hadn't felt too well. They'd all stayed home the next day, and had learned about the break-in on the news like everyone else. No one had died, contrary to the rumors and it was the only relief to be found. It was one thing to know that people would get hurt and might die because of me, and another to actually witness it happening. What did you do when lives were on the line and you were too scared to take action?

What did you do when a gun was pointed at your face?

I didn't want to die.

It was a sick, twisted nightmare; dying, losing everyone I loved and getting a second chance at life only for it to be filled with monsters and the ever present threat of death. I was bitter, resentful, and it was beginning to dawn on me that this wasn't much of a life, or a second chance. It was a prison sentence, and either I would die fighting evil or I'd live knowing that people were dying and I wasn't doing a damn thing about it. There was no winning here, nothing to be gained and nothing worth the psychological damage I was collecting. It was like a kick to the stomach, leaving me without air.

If those were my only outcomes, if there was no silver lining or light at the end of the tunnel, then what did it matter how I acted?

The answer was that it didn't.

I stopped playing the role of Serenity after that.

Like the flip of a switch, everything changed for me; I didn't tiptoe around anyone, didn't lie to get out of doing things with Serenity's friends. Summer came, and I began working at The Fabler's, waiting tables and being myself; blunt, and honest even when the truth wasn't kind. I went to aikido with Matsuo and learned to better defend myself under the watchful gaze of Hajime-sensei, who always seemed unhappy when I entered the sparring floor.

I saved every cent I made, and whatever allowance was left over after aikido.

I wanted to see every inch of this country, the place I would either die or lose my mind in. As soon as I had enough money I was getting on a train out of Tokyo, and I was going to _live_. I wanted to explore other parts of Japan, see everything it had to offer; I wanted to go to festivals, kiss strangers, and play out in the rain. I wanted to have that stomach wrenching laughter, the kind that had you on the ground and tears running down your face. This world had royally screwed me, and come hell or high water I was going to live every day I had to its fullest potential.

I was going to have one last laugh, one last kiss, one last moment of absolute freedom before the universe did me in.

My change didn't go unnoticed, and even though I didn't care there was a small, quiet part of me that whispered caution; I was dancing on an edge, could feel myself slipping ever so closer. As the weeks passed and more people began to be hospitalized due to fatigue, something in me grew colder and colder. Summer ended, school began and Naru didn't wake. It was on the second week of school that things took a turn, though whether it was for better or worse I couldn't say.

It had been a normal morning; I'd gotten up at the right time, dressed and made it to school just like any other day. The class was more excitable than usual, but I'd been more interested in daydreaming than actually paying attention. When the bell rang and our homeroom teacher arrived, the atmosphere suddenly changed. The excitement was there, and so was some curiosity but neither of those were what broke me from my idleness. I could only describe it as a sort of heaviness; for the briefest of seconds the air was weighed and the hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

Then it was gone.

"Class," Our sensei began, "We have two new transfer students joining us as of today, be sure to welcome them." Her voice grew quieter as she added, "Why don't you two introduce yourselves?"

I didn't want to look up, but there had never really been a choice. At the front of the room stood two girls wearing the school uniform; one with long blonde hair and the other with a blue pixie cut. The blonde stepping forward, and with a confident smile she introduced herself to the class. The words were muted though, unable to register in my mind as she finished and the girl beside her began.

I dropped my eyes, fear creeping up my spine.

I knew it was coming eventually, but I'd put it out of my mind, unwilling to spend any more time stressing about things out of my control. Now though I could no longer ignore it.

Venus and Mercury were here.

* * *

A/N

For some reason, this chapter was difficult to write.

You can only beat your head against a wall for so long before the words start coming. Anyway, progress is afoot and I know I said we wouldn't hit the beginning of canon for a little while more but here we are.

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	7. Chapter 7

A/N

Really sorry for the short chapter, I had so much more to put in but I just moved to Florida a month ago and with Hurricane Irma about to kill us all I thought I'd better post this before it hit, just in case.

Let me tell you guys it is a dire situation out there. No water, no gas, no canned goods, and no decent human being giving us a mandatory evacuation so that I can bring my dog with me and not get turned away at the shelter doors.

Screw you Irma.

Anyway, have a chapter.

Disclaimer: I'm gonna die, and I can't even do it owning Sailor Moon. Pity.

* * *

Whoever said history is set in stone had clearly never found their self in the fictional world of an alternate dimension.

History was _not_ set in stone, the ink wasn't dry, and I had some control over my destiny. This revelation was a teensy joy, but it still pleased me nonetheless; this small victory told me my actions mattered too, that this struggle of mine wasn't a pointless endeavor. The presence of Venus and Mercury here meant bad news for me, but it also went to show that I did have some miniscule amount of power here. I simply had to be careful as to how I used it.

I kept my eyes glued to my desk as the class welcomed the two girls into their new school and they were told to pick any empty seat. Now, our class was apparently one of the smaller ones, because usually we had about four empty desks scattered around the room to choose from; however, recently we had five empty seats. Naru's desk was on my right, two rows over andever since school had started back up no one had touched it. No one was going to either, because Naru had been well liked here, and even if that hadn't been the case people tended to show more compassion when someone else was hurt or dead.

A month later and Naru was still the talk of the school.

Students I suspected to have hardly ever spoken to her had openly wept for the girl; people had begun to stick get well cards and the like on her shoe locker, acting as though this was the greatest tragedy to ever strike Juuban Municipal Junior High. Hell, maybe it really was the worst thing the school had ever experienced; the point was that with Naru in the hospital, people had been surprisingly respectful of her. It was sort of an unspoken rule, that you did not use her desk and you did not mess with the stuff left in her locker; it was taboo and everyone knew it.

That is, everyone except Venus.

I honestly don't know what came over me as she began to sit down in Naru's desk. Naru hadn't been a special person to me; we hadn't been very close or even decent friends. I went to school, Serenity's crowd hung around me and I did nothing to actively push them away until it came to after school activities. Naru hadn't been one of my precious people, but her hospitalization was partially my fault; the coma she was in, the months escaping her, they were my fault so all I could do was hold out hope that she was going to wake up and find the strength to walk away from this.

And when she did, her desk would be waiting for her.

"That seat is taken." My voice was steel, loud enough to be heard by the entire class. They all turned to stare at me as I watched Venus; the words had sort of just slipped out, a little harsher than necessary but I supposed it got my point across. Our Sensei seemed embarrassed at my sudden outburst, and she hissed my name in a reprimanding manner. I turned to her, gaze cool, and slowly said, "That seat is taken, isn't it Sensei?"

She pressed her lips together, addressing Venus. "Aino-chan, I'm terribly sorry for such behavior," at this, her eyes flashed over to me. "but unfortunately, that desk is in fact taken. We have a student out sick at the moment, you see. Any other desk would be okay to take though, if you don't mind moving."

"No problem," Venus chirped, moving to a desk farther back. "Sorry about that."

I relaxed, turning my gaze away.

When class began, I sensed the stares of my peers drilling mercilessly into my back. Yumiko gave me an approving glance and a sympathetic half-smile before turning to focus on the lesson unfolding. My mind wouldn't allow me to keep up with them, too busy running around pulling a dozen different trains of thought. I shouldn't have done anything to stick out to Venus and Mercury, shouldn't have snapped the way I did. More importantly though, it was _Venus and Mercury together_.

This was huge, beyond my imagination.

Venus was here, and the fact that she had not come alone couldn't be a coincidence; did that mean that Mercury had been awakened? Surely she must have been, and if that was the case then somehow Venus had found her with only a name to go on. I paused, unease curling in my gut as I pondered on that thought. A name, I'd only given her a first name and somehow, someway Venus had managed to find her? I shifted in my seat, a hand pressed to my lips as I considered the possibilities; she would have maybe a month from the time the letter reached her, a month to get here and find one girl in a city this big?

Then again, Venus was leader of the Sailor Scouts for a reason.

It was beginning to dawn on me that maybe I had underestimated her, and that was undoubtedly a dangerous thing to do. I would have to be far, far more cautious of her and Mercury, from now on. These girls were far from stupid, there was a reason they were a force to be reckoned with and now things had gotten quite a bit trickier; I needed them to awaken the other girls and get on with their crime fighting lives all while staying as far from them as humanly possible. If the other two hadn't been awakened by the time I had enough funds to flee the city, I would leave Venus another note and try to be a bit more specific.

And then they were on their own.

Without the Silver Crystal, the dark empire or whatever couldn't be that much of a threat. They were powerful, yes, but without it they should be relatively on par with the Sailor Scouts. Hopefully taking a few losses and getting an ass kicking would strengthen the Sailors a bit. It was really all I could hope for at this point, I couldn't stick around and pull strings to help them along the way or they'd always rely on it.

When the bell rang for lunch, I was trying to reel myself in from my daze. Yumiko turned her desk around to face mine and began pulling out her own lunch. The other two girls in Serenity's group joined us, and they began chatting about one of our assignments. I was half listening, picking at my own food and thinking about the rest of the day; It was a Monday, and I didn't have aikido practice today so after school it would be off to work for me. This month's theme at The Fabler was Creatures of the Woodland Realm, and because god hated me I had drawn the short stick and ended up being a rabbit.

As if the universe wasn't cruel enough.

The outfit itself was fine, comfy and covered me well enough; I just didn't have a taste for the abject twist of irony here, as though my life was one big cosmic joke. The urge to throw something plagued me every time I thought too deeply on it, so I tried to keep my mind on other things. Between allowance and work, I had a decent growing pile of funds; not exactly a small fortune by any means, but probably enough to buy a plane ticket overseas. I couldn't leave the country of course, but still it was nice to know that my hard work was beginning to pay off.

"Excuse me." A light voice said, pulling me from my thoughts. I looked up, accidentally catching Venus's gaze. I flinched slightly, startled, and switched my line of sight to her forehead. "You're Tsukino Usagi, right?"

"Uh, yeah…" There was movement behind her, and a spot of blue told me exactly who it was.

"I'm Aino Minako." Venus said. "I just wanted to say sorry, for earlier. I wouldn't have sat there if I'd known."

I glanced at the other girls, taking note of the appeasement in their expressions, and shrugged. "It's okay, you didn't know…" That hadn't stopped me from snapping at her earlier, but whatever; if she wasn't going to hold a grudge I wouldn't either. There was an awkward moment of silence between the two of us, where I waited for her to go away and she kept on standing there.

Then, one of the girls by the name of Kuri did the unthinkable.

"Do you want to sit with us?" She asked, scooting over to make room for them. I gritted my teeth, looking straight ahead at a wall with a blank expression as the Sailor Scouts accepted, dragging chairs over and making themselves comfortable. The five of them continued to chat and gossip for a while, and this time I listened closely, on high alert. Mercury was quieter than Venus, giving her opinions sparingly and letting the others lead the conversation like I usually would. I waited, picking apart every detail I could about the two of them, and towards the end of lunch Venus finally showed her true colors.

"I don't mean to intrude," She murmured. "but I was curious. Could any of you tell me about your sick friend? Osaka Naru?"

The girls quieted, and I narrowed my gaze at her.

Our sensei had never mentioned Naru's full name out loud; neither of them would know that unless they'd specifically asked someone earlier. If they really had though, why ask any of us? Kuri, like the traitor she clearly was, began to explain. "Naru-chan has been in the hospital for a while now; her family store was robbed, and there… She's in a coma, fatigue they say. It's okay though, she's been getting healthier; the doctors think she could wake up any time now."

Kuri was stretching the truth here; Naru did look a bit better, but she was by no means on the mend. The doctors were stupidly optimistic; they didn't understand that her coma was supernaturally inflicted. Yes, it was possible she could wake up soon but it was also possible she wouldn't wake up for a very long time. Nobody knew for certain, these attacks were entirely new to the doctors of Tokyo and they didn't know nearly as much as they'd like. The only reason anyone thought she could wake soon was because compared to her mother (who was neither better nor worse), Naru looked like a fresh spring flower.

"That sounds terrible, I hope she recovers soon." Mercury paused, and leaned forward. "It's a bit strange though, don't you think? So many people attacked and then hospitalized for fatigue?"

"Yeah, that is odd…" Yumiko's brow furrowed. "Come to think of it, didn't the nurses say that Mrs. Osaka's coma was caused by fatigue too?"

The other girls voiced their agreements, but I was too busy watching the loaded glance Venus and Mercury gave each other to voice my own thought on the matter. They were probing for information about Naru, but why? What did it matter to them?

"Do…Do you think there might be some kind of serial attacker on the loose?" Kuri pondered worriedly.

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about it." Venus reassured her. "I mean, if there was the police would totally be on it."

Yeah, Tokyo's finest was on the job alright.

Too bad this was way above their pay grade, those guys wouldn't be much help in the long run; still, better not to point that out. The girls already seemed pretty spooked at the thought, and Yumiko made it worse by adding, "Maybe it's a virus or something. I mean, the day Naru went into that coma we'd all been together at her shop, and afterwards didn't we all get sick?"

"That's right!" Kuri nodded. "I had nausea the next day, and we had all stayed home."

"But you got better, right?" Venus prodded. She was watching all of us, and even though I hadn't actually been there at the time I nodded along with the rest of the girls. No one had mentioned my absence, and I would be the last to say otherwise, especially if it gave me a possible advantage in the future.

"Yeah," Yumiko shifted, and hesitantly she said, "but I definitely felt awful for a long time afterward. I couldn't even stand to look at the ring I got from Naru-chan's shop; I sent it back in the mail, I don't even care whether I get my money back. For some reason it just felt wrong to keep it."

"We did, too." Kuri commented. "The shop's closed right now though, so there might not be anyone there to take them back for a while."

Venus appeared extremely interested in this. I kept my ears out for the rest of lunch, trying to get a better idea for what she and Mercury might have been thinking. Topics switched to other less important things though, and when class began again nothing significant had stood out to me. After the last bell I was quick to slip out, grabbing my things from my locker and ignoring the overly decorated one to my right. I was anxious to get going, work was all the way across town and the sooner I arrived the more hours I would be able to get in. Something about lunch still bothered me though; it was an itch that wouldn't go away no matter how hard I tried.

I was leaving the school when I saw them walking out of the gate ahead of myself; Mercury and Venus. They moved quickly, as though they were in a hurry and didn't want to raise suspicion, but I'd already seen them. Instinct had me following, whispering that this was something I needed to see. Heart pounding, I tailed them, staying far away and moving at a slightly slower pace; it would be better to risk losing them than risk being caught. It went without saying that this was incredibly stupid of me, but it was more than mere curiosity driving me at this point. I didn't like that conversation at lunch, and I had a feeling I wouldn't like whatever it was the two of them were up to.

They walked for about fifteen minutes, and during that time a white cat joined them, allowing himself to be held in Venus' arms as they continued on. Thankfully, they walked on busy roads and it wasn't difficult to blend in with the other students having gotten out of school. A sense of dread began to creep on me as we drew closer to a familiar building in the middle of town. They stopped across the street from it and waited another five minutes, a time during which I grew twitchier and twitchier. Finally, the three of them were joined by a black cat, and behind her… another girl. Long raven hair, arms crossed, and sporting a serious expression. My heart skipped a beat as together they crossed the street and entered the Azabu-Juuban Hospital where Naru was staying.

I stared blankly at the closing automatic doors, assessing what I'd just witnessed.

Sailor Mars had entered the game.

* * *

"Two diet cokes, and an order of crepes." I recited cheerfully to the table of two before me, handing them the check. "Please take your time."

I pranced away from the table to give them time to pay and leave, smile dropping as I entered into the back area. The cooks had turned off the stoves and were cleaning up for the night. Harumi was there as well, leaning against a wall and going over something on the clipboard in front of him. He looked up as I rolled my wrists, eliciting a couple of cracks from them and making him shiver.

"That," He began dramatically, pointing the pen he held in my direction. "Was horrific. You'll give yourself carpal tunnel if you don't properly stretch those muscles before and after work."

"Oh no," I monotoned. "Not carpal tunnel, anything but that."

"You think it's all fun and laughs now, but just you wait; ten years down the road you'll be wearing braces at night, using cream to sooth the pain and you'll think _if only I had listened to Haru-chan_."

If my only problem ten years down the road appeared in the form of carpal tunnel, then I would get on my knees and kiss Harumi's feet. Considering the state of things, that future was looking to be highly unlikely. "I'll be sure to call you the day that happens so you can tell me how you were right."

Harumi's smile was angelic. "That's all I ask. Now, are your tables all clear yet?"

"I have the last customers paying now." I replied. "The table is cleared though, and I just have to wipe it down once they leave and I'll be good to go."

He tilted his head, eyes narrowing slightly. "Did you roll the silverware?"

"One hundred and twelve sets, yes."

"Sweep the back hall?"

"The back hall, the locker room, and I took out the garbage as well." I stood tall, proud but trying not to sound like I was bragging. I had told him he wouldn't regret hiring me, and I intended to stick by my word. Duties for the waitresses rotated every day, sometimes it was sweeping the backroom, or mopping out on the floor; someone did garbage, or restocked the dressings and bakery display, or cleaned the bathroom. We all had our duties, and we were required to roll sixty sets of silverware before leaving for the night.

I was an overachiever, and since this job was beginning to be one of the few things I didn't suck at here, I was going more than the extra mile for it. Harumi didn't like when I did the other girls chores for them, so it had taken me a while to figure out what things I could do to show my worth. This café wasn't a forever place, but it had possibly grown on me, a little bit, and I wanted to be Harumi's most valuable employee. As he looked at me now, that challenge in his gaze turned to something soft and he sighed, putting a palm to his cheek. "How on earth did I get such an outstanding girl like you on my team?"

I beamed. "It's a strange world."

"Indeed it is." Harumi hummed. "You can go for the night, I'll finish cleaning up. It is a Monday, after all; you have school tomorrow. Now shoo."

The protest on the tip of my tongue was swallowed. There really was no fighting a man like Harumi, he always got his way. I thanked him, changed out of my rabbit outfit and started the walk home. It was a little past eight, and dinner had long been served by the time I arrived back at the Tsukino residence. This had become a common occurrence, and as of late Ikuko appeared to have little concern over my comings and goings so long as I did okay in school and actually made an appearance; I usually told her if I was going to be out late, so that she didn't worry too much, and Ikuko would wink at me as though we were both in on a secret.

I was beginning to suspect she might have thought this had something to do with a boy, and honestly I couldn't bring myself to correct her.

I needed all the help I could get at this point, and if thinking I had a boyfriend gave Ikuko some peace of mind, then so be it. The only person that gave me any real trouble was Shingo, Serenity's little brother. He was becoming more and more nosy these days, and the feeling was vaguely reminiscent of my own kid sister, so from time to time I indulged him. When I entered the house, he was waiting in the hall, arms crossed like a disappointed parent.

"You were out late." He stated, a bit of accusation dripping into his tone. I had a head on him heightwise, so it was amusing to watch him look up at me while trying to intimidate.

"I'm a busy girl." I told him, slipping off my shoes. "Can't be helped. My fans just can't get enough of me."

Shingo scoffed. "Who'd ever be a fan of _you_?"

"Hey, I'm likable." I said, intending to walk past him when he stepped into my path as though to trip me. I grinned, all teeth, and set my hand on his head. I rubbed it, hard, and Shingo batted at me in an attempt to make me stop. His hair was static ridden and all over the place when he managed to get out of my grasp. He glared at me and I laughed. "Later, brat."

His muttering tapered off as I climbed the stairs to Serenity's room and shut the door behind me. Too tired to shower, I simply plopped on the bed, still in my school uniform, and let my thoughts wander for a bit. Serenity's family always left a hollow ache in me, and I shied away from thinking further on that. I kept going back to the moment the Sailor Scouts entered the hospital, and their strange questions at lunch. Naru was just another victim, drained like dozens of other people around Tokyo, so why were they so interested in her?

I hated that I didn't know.

Until today, I hadn't known that Mercury and Mars had been awakened already. This changed pretty much everything; Venus was working faster than I would have thought, clearly she didn't need any help and I wasn't sure whether that worried me or not. Jupiter was the only one left, and once she too was found, what could I expect from them? Venus had been adamant about protecting the Moon Princess if I recalled correctly, so what lengths would she go to in order to find me?

At some point, they'd realize that whoever sent the letter definitely wasn't among them.

I had only given Venus three names; Mars, Jupiter, and Mercury. Luna would know there was one more Sailor to be found, and it wouldn't be much of a stretch to think that perhaps Sailor Moon, the only one missing from the list, had been the one to send it. I was still holding out hope that one of them would suspect Mamoru instead, but that would only hold for so long. The Sailor Scouts wouldn't be searching for just the Moon Princess; they'd be seeking Sailor Moon eventually as well.

Maybe they thought Naru could be Sailor Moon, or the Moon Princess.

It would explain the unhealthy interest in her, but they'd figure it out sooner or later; Naru wasn't the girl they were looking for.

Sleep was restless for me that night, I felt as though I was missing something and by morning I was no closer to an answer. I didn't want to go to school today, was far too tired to deal with it, but in the end I persevered. Right now, with the Sailor Scouts in town it was crucial to keep to a routine; I wanted to appear in their minds as little as possible, and to do so I needed to be boringly normal. So I went to school, did everything I'd been doing since the end of summer break, and acted no different.

My interactions with Mercury and Venus were minimal, and always included at least one of the other girls. Everything was business as usual, right up until I was leaving the school gate. I yelped in surprise as hands went around my waist from behind and I was lifted off the ground and spun once. Familiar laughter reached my ears as the person put me down, and I turned with a reluctant grin to see Matsuo. He wiggled his brows comically, easily dodging as I kicked out at him.

"Easy there, tiger." He chuckled, hands up in surrender. Then that glimmer of mischief entered his expression, and with a widening grin Matsuo added, "Or should I say, little rabbit?"

"Shut up." I went for a punch, which he also avoided. "What are you doing here, anyway? Someone might mistake you for a pervert, standing outside a school like this."

He shrugged. "Curiosity is a powerful thing."

I waited, expecting him to explain or say more but Matsuo didn't seem to feel the need to add anything on. A sigh escaped me as we stood there, and it was then that I noticed other students giving us looks. A small group of girls passed by us slowly, whispering and checking Matsuo out; he smiled at them, sweet as ever, and they giggled before moving on. I watched him in amusement, and after a moment he caught my gaze and said. "What?"

"We should get going, before someone calls the police about a weirdo lingering around schoolgirls." I nudged him, and together we started walking towards the dojo. I gave him a considering glance as we went, thoughts wander back to the giggling girls. It wasn't something I had thought on before, but looking at him now, it wasn't hard to see why those girls had stared. Matsuo was handsome, maybe not as pretty as Mamoru, but definitely good looking enough to give the guy a run for his money.

Mamoru was slender; strong, but ironically rather princely in appearance. His features were aristocratic, with those high cheekbones, a straight nose, and long lashes. Mamoru had intense, soul searching eyes and hair the fell just right without any effort, he also held that aura of responsibility and leadership. He was a pretty boy, yeah, but oddly enough there was a quiet strength in him; more kindness than I would have anticipated, and…hm.

Anyway, Matsuo was athletic; his shoulders were wide, and his muscles were more defined. He was chiseled, tan with brown eyes and messy brown hair and it was a good thing he had such a winning smile and was so outstandingly friendly because otherwise he made for an intimidating appearance; the kind that no father wanted to see anywhere near his daughter. It was his personality that made everything about him feel warm and inviting rather than tough and edgy. Maybe that was why I enjoyed his company so much, because in such an uncertain world Matsuo was a stable presence; steady and reassuring.

If things went to hell, I knew he had my back.

Every time I acknowledged this, my feet grew heavy with despair. I often tried not to think about it around him, my eventual departure from the city; for some reason, each time I did my throat tightened and I had a brief moment of breathlessness. Even now, I could feel the beginnings of it, and desperation to take my mind off of it had me blurting out the first thing that came to mind. "I have a lot of homework today."

"Oh?" Matsuo replied. "Okay, do you want to work on it before or after aikido?"

"Before, it's not too much and I'd rather get it out of the way." Plus, I could use the distraction. When we got to the dojo it was empty save for Hajime-sensei, who barely glanced our way before entering into his office in the back. Matsuo had been coming here for a few years already, and now in his final year of high school he split his time between here and The Fabler. Once, I had asked him how much he made working here, curious as to why he needed another job, and Matsuo had explained that the dojo was more of an internship. He didn't make any money here, and had just sort of started helping around the place without Hajime-sensei even having asked.

It surprised me, but then that was just the kind of person Matsuo was.

"Alright," He murmured, sitting down beside me as I took out the assigned homework. "what all do we have today?"

"History." I muttered distastefully. "A bit of math too, and Japanese."

I had English homework as well, but it wasn't a subject I wanted him to see me working on for obvious reasons. Matsuo nodded, looking through the separate subjects laid out in front of us before snatching up history and reading over the instructions. I got a notebook and pen out of my bag, and he flipped to the right page in my textbook before clearing his throat and reading the text aloud. I listened carefully as he spoke, writing down important things like dates and he'd pause every time my pen hit the notebook, waiting for me to finish before continuing.

This had become something of a tradition for us, starting back a couple weeks ago when I'd mentioned my summer homework. Matsuo knew that reading for long periods of time gave me killer migraines and that it took up a lot of time, and he had offered to help me with it. Having him read everything out loud helped me understand easier, and it cut the amount of time I spent struggling in half. Over time it must have become obvious to him that I wasn't stupid, I just needed the questions spelled out for me. Answering was the easiest part, and between the two of us I finished my homework within the hour.

We had about twenty minutes before class would begin, so after changing I cleaned up my mess while Matsuo watched. I could tell he was thinking deeply about something, so I kept quiet, and after a couple of minutes he finally spoke. "Usagi, have you told anyone else about your… migraines? Have you talked to anyone about it?"

"No," I ran my hands through my hair, pulling it up into a pony tail. "I mean, there isn't much of a point; anyone you ask could tell you that school isn't exactly my forte."

"Well… maybe you should." He rubbed the back of his neck. "Don't take this the wrong way, but have you considered that perhaps there's something, er, more to your reading issues?"

My brows furrowed at his behavior, as though he was trying to be delicate with his words. Why would I take that the wrong way? It was common knowledge that I struggled, Tsukino Usagi did not do well in school, so I didn't see why it would offend me. He must have seen the incomprehension in my stare, because suddenly Matsuo's expression twisted in what looked to be frustration, and he huffed. "Usagi-chan, do you know what dyslexia is?"

Oh.

I nodded, and he continued. "So you know that people with it often have trouble reading words correctly or reading things for an extended length of time?"

Yikes, he really thought my problem was an undiagnosed case of dyslexia and not the language barrier and flood of half-learned Japanese that it was. I sat there for a moment, unsure of how to remedy the situation; how did I explain the real cause of my migraines to him without sounding like a lunatic? Then again… was dyslexia all that far off the mark from my own inability? I couldn't just pretend to have it, there was something horribly disrespectful about the idea, but maybe it would save me some trouble to let him have his own conclusions on the matter.

So long as he didn't mention it to anyone.

"Matsuo, this reading issue is… relatively new to me. I'm fine with how things are right now, and I don't want to discuss it with a bunch of strangers just yet. If I really can't handle it then I'll speak with someone, okay?"

He held my gaze, pondering over it, and nodded.

Then the cheerfulness was back, and the subject was dropped. I got up and stretched as he told me what was on the agenda for today's lesson. As people began to arrive, I found myself appreciating the friend I'd gained in Matsuo; he hadn't fought me on it, and wasn't going to go against my wishes. I was thankful that there was someone in this world lifting me up instead of dragging me down.

He really was the best friend I could have asked for.

* * *

A/N

Progress is slow going, and again sorry for the short chapter but between work and hurricane preparations I didn't know when I'd have the chance to actually write anything more and I kind of just want to get this chapter out before the hurricane gets too close and we lose power or whatever.

Anyway,

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N

I LIVE!

Some nice vague relative started a gofundme page to get my family away from certain death, and surprisingly it worked? We were able to evacuate which was nice because my dog was shaking like crazy (she knew something was wrong), only downside is the van we borrowed turned out to be infested with ants so all our bread and perishables were done for.

But I am alive, and I have power (occasionally), so the story must go on.

Disclaimer: I own Rabbit of the Moon, and that's all.

* * *

Life became surreal with the arrival of the Sailor Scouts.

It was one thing to hear about the attacks and hospitalizations going on in the city, and an entirely different affair to see the ones responsible for stopping it day after day. Venus and Mercury often came to school with dark circles under their eyes, sporting the occasional bruise and not once did they complain or miss school. I often found myself in a state of disbelief, that they could live twos lives like this, go to school and educate themselves and then just jump right back in to the fighting each night.

I did not possess that kind of courage.

Over the next two weeks, they had a constant ear out for any suspicious activity our peers might have heard of or gossiped about, and though they didn't know it, I kept a keen eye out for the same thing as well. I wanted to stay as far away as possible from anything that had to do with the Dark Dynasty, Tuxedo Mask, or the Sailor Scouts, and it had to be said that I was doing a stellar job.

Regrettably, I couldn't avoid Venus and Mercury at all times since we did happen to share classes together, but that was okay; going out of my way to evade them in school would most definitely catch their attention, the opposite of what I wanted. So whenever they came around, I didn't flee no matter how much I might have liked to. Instead, I showed them the same polite disinterest that the rest of my peers received whenever any of them attempted to chat me up.

I had no interest in getting to know the Scouts, so it wasn't a difficult task to partake.

Our interactions were few and far between, and I was never on my own when the occasion struck their fancy. Since Naru's absence, Serenity's friends had sort of gravitated themselves around me, and in dire times such as these I found I didn't mind so much. With someone else around, I felt a better sense of security against Venus and Mercury; to them, I likely blended in quite ordinarily with everyone else, having my own clique. So outside of school, where I had my own life to live, the girls were a welcome barrier, and for two weeks I managed to keep a nice distance from the supernatural world.

Today though, things were different.

It was a Tuesday afternoon, and I had Aikido lessons later but unfortunately I wouldn't be able to go in early and hang out with Matsuo like usual. Aikido was on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays, and the dojo was only six blocks from the hospital so on school days the route I took to get there always had me passing it by along the way. Of course, this walk had become routine for me so when something happened to break from that routine, it stood out to me right away. During the last four times I'd taken this route, there was only one difference, one change in my life and it was the god damn Sailor Scouts.

Sometimes they were behind me, or ten feet in front of me, or even halfway down the street, but they were always there on the road, and they were always going to the hospital. Sometimes neither Venus nor Mercury were in sight, but further down the road, standing across the street from the hospital would be Mars and Luna, waiting on their arrival. Now, I had _tried_ to ignore it, had struggled so hard to stay away and keep my nose out of business that didn't really concern me.

It was like a scab though, halfway peeled off and desperate to be picked, impossible to ignore. No one made so many visits to the hospital for a complete stranger, and somehow I just _knew_ they weren't there to see any other victims of attacks. When I had become so protective of Naru, I didn't even know; I was positive that when she woke up, I would no longer give a damn about what she did, my job would be done and my conscious cleared.

But she hadn't woken up yet.

Naru had yet to awaken and she was in a vulnerable state and logic was a double edged sword. I knew that they had no intention on causing her harm, but I also knew that danger didn't simply follow those girls like a shadow; it _stalked_ them. Naru didn't need that, and I feared that their continued presence here would only serve to worsen her condition. There was a satirical sense to this whole business, and I was fully aware of that. Here I was, partially responsible for Naru's state, and yet I was also trying to shield her from future harm.

Here I was, fully prepared to shut out other visitors when I myself could barely stand to be in her presence for more than a few minutes.

I couldn't help it though, every time I came to see Naru I always left feeling so utterly tired; it was like she was draining me of all energy by simply lying there. The entire situation was a mess, and part of me wanted nothing more than to walk away and leave it to anyone else. The only problem was that there wasn't anyone else to hand this off to, no one else would find the Sailor Scouts suspicious enough to warrant confrontation; no one but me. Something had to be done, before an enemy finally took notice of them and made an unfortunate connection between the Sailor Scouts and Naru.

The plan had begun Friday, where over the course of the next four days the Azabu-Juuban hospital staff received several complaints from a few different people about pet policies. Then, last night after my shift I had arranged for an anonymous tip to be slipped onto the desk of a very important Head nurse. This had all cost me a bit of my savings, but it was money well spent. Today I left school early, skipping my last class in order to make it to the hospital before any of the Sailor Scouts had the chance. I entered the automatic doors with a spring to my step, eager to see the results of my scheming.

I made it ten steps in before the Head nurse spotted me and pounced. I fixed my expression into one of pleasant curiosity as she stopped me with a polite greeting and a security guard at her back.

"Pardon me," She said, blocking my path. "I don't mean to bother you, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to show the contents of your schoolbag to Arai-san here." She motioned to the security guard, Arai, and he stepped forward. "There have been problems with students smuggling in pets recently, and it's causing trouble for the patients and visitors with allergies."

"I understand." I chimed, handing over my bag without pause.

The Head nurse smiled as Arai-san cleared the bag before handing it back to me. Then, to my surprise she stopped me once more by adding, "Oh, aren't you one of Osaka-chan's friends?"

"Yes, I am."

"What a sweet girl she must be," She cooed. "Having so many schoolmates visiting her on a daily basis. I'm sure she'll be quite pleased when she wakes up. Well, you have a nice day, dear."

"You too." I replied faintly, thoughts swirling as I made my way to the elevator.

A daily basis?

Just how often did the Sailor Scouts come by here? No scratch that, why were they _still_ coming here, weeks after their initial visit? They should have figured out by now that Naru wasn't anyone they were looking for, right? I pondered on it all the way to Naru's designated room, uncertain as to what exactly they even had planned in terms of her. Luna and Artemis should be able to sense if she was a Scout, but maybe I was wrong about that. I didn't know the rules here, didn't know if every single thing I knew held true; there was only one reason they'd still be coming here, as far as I could think of.

I would have to review what I thought I knew later, and look at the facts.

But first, I had to take care of the Sailor Scouts.

The room Naru stayed in was a long term one, and therefore it was larger than others. She had a large window on the fifth floor, with one of those reclining armchairs for overnight visitors next to it and a tv on the wall across from the bed, the kind that only had the crappy channels. Her room had a full bathroom, with the uncomfortable florescent lights and bare, tiled shower that always reminded me of horror movies. Naru's room provided many places to hide, and had I wanted to overhear the Sailor Scouts without being seen it would have been far too easy.

As tempting as it sounded, I wasn't here to snoop.

Maybe it would have been beneficial to hide and learn more from them, but I just couldn't bring myself to. What I was about to do was already risky, and I did not have the willpower to postpone this another day and double the risk by extending the time spent in their presence. I had this one chance, this one opportunity where they would not see me coming and would have no choice but to leave Luna and Artemis behind. Another day and they'd come up with a solution to bring them with, so I absolutely could not give them the chance to think their way around this.

It was possible that the cats weren't adept at recognizing Sailor Scouts, if they were still on Naru, but I wasn't willing to take the risk.

Now or never, Usagi.

I went to the end of Naru's bed, where the medical clipboard hung, and after digging out a printed piece of paper I slipped it in among them before replacing the clipboard to where it had been. Along with the recliner there were two plainer chairs, sparsely padded and light enough to move. I grabbed one and dragged it over to the wall with the doorway, setting it down at the far end in the corner. School bag beside me, I lowered myself into the chair; back straight, arms on the armrests, legs crossed, and waited.

Fifty minutes later, I could hear them approaching.

"What was up with that nurse anyway?" An unfamiliar voice huffed. "I mean, sure, pets aren't allowed but it isn't like Luna and Artemis are going to cause problems."

"They don't know that though." Mercury reasoned. "We're lucky they still allowed us to enter, so let's not make a big deal out of it or cause a scene."

There was grumbling, and then the door slid open.

In walked the Sailor Scouts, with Mercury leading and Venus taking up the end, sliding the door shut behind her without a backward glance. They didn't notice me until Mars turned to Venus, as if to say something and caught sight of me; she startled slightly, and said, "Oh."

That was when the other two looked my way, catching the less-than-pleased expression I adorned. They were all surprised to find me sitting here of course, and there was an undeniable weight in the air, as though they'd been caught doing something they shouldn't have been. Children with their hands in the cookie jar. To her credit, Venus stepped up to the plate confidently after the three of them shared a quick glance. "Hi Usagi-san, I didn't expect to see you here."

"Oh?" I raised a brow. "I could say the same about you three."

It was funny; I wasn't scared or nervous now that they were here.

For some reason, I felt wrathful.

Mercury took a step forward, expression open and friendly. "We just thought we'd come to pay our respects. Osaka-san is a classmate after all and everyone speaks so kindly of her." She paused, adding, "I'm looking forward to meeting her, you know? It must be hard on you though… having to see her like this. I'm terribly sorry for it."

My gaze flickered over to Naru once before returning to Mercury. I studied her for a moment, impressed with how genuine she sounded in spite of her lie. She was trying to twist the subject as well, turn my focus to my own emotions on the matter rather than on their presence here. It was a smart move, and she was a smart girl, but my nerves, patience and forgiveness had withered from the anticipation of this confrontation and I was in no mood to be manipulated, even if she genuinely felt the way she claimed. I looked directly at Mars and inquired. "And you? That isn't our school uniform, I know you obviously don't know Naru from school, so how do you know her?"

Mars sensed the challenge in my tone and she was audacious enough to rise to it.

"I had family that used to shop at her jewelry store." She lied boldly. "We're old acquaintances."

I nodded passively and stood, moving over to the end of the bed once more while the Scouts watched me warily. Plucking the clipboard up, I turned to Mercury. "Ami Mizuno, was it?"

She nodded.

"Good. Now, I hear you're a smart girl, Ami." My voice was soft, but it was not kind. I flipped through the papers, leisurely and one at a time before finding the one I was looking for. "Tell me, are you familiar with the term Anaphylaxis?"

"I am." Mercury confirmed, exchanging looks with her comrades.

I smiled at her. "Yes, I thought you might be. Now, in case your friends aren't aware of the meaning of the term I'll explain it. See, Anaphylaxis is really just the fancy medical term for an allergic reaction, as one of the nurses informed me." I moved close enough for them to see the page I had open. "I know, it's rude to look at other people's charts like this, an invasion of privacy if you will. But if you read this page here, you'll note the odd, hypersensitive response from her immune system; an unaccountable rise from normal, a new development in the last few weeks."

I paused, giving them time to absorb this information before continuing.

"With her immune system in such a fragile state, even something like a cold or an allergy is a threat to Naru. What I find odd though, is how… recent, this occurrence began."

"Perhaps she isn't reacting well to the medicine." Mercury offered helpfully.

"Yes, that could be it." My gaze wandered to Venus. "Or, just maybe it has something to do with her allergies to cats."

All three of them stilled.

"Don't you have a cat, Aino-san?"

"…Yes." She replied. Venus had a calculating gleam in her eyes as she watched me, but I wasn't done yet, and my poker face was divine. Maybe Naru really did have an allergy to cats, I sure as hell didn't know and neither did the Scouts. The thing about lying was that you had to stand by it, treat it like the god given truth and I had grown excellent at lying.

"I don't know what you lot are doing here." I began, smile turning sharp. "And I don't really care. Your business is your own. Naru, however, is _my_ business, and I have to say that I don't like the way you three have been hovering around her; especially after asking so many questions."

"Last time I checked, curiosity isn't a crime." Venus said.

"Last time _I_ checked, transfer students didn't get so hung up on someone they've never even met." I snapped. "Why the hell are you so interested in in her? What's your deal?"

"What's _your_ deal?" Mars countered angrily. "You don't know us, and you don't have a monopoly on this hospital; its public property. Overprotective much?"

"You wanna find out?" I hissed, stepping forward. I opened my mouth, preplanned accusations on the tip of my tongue, when the beeping on Naru's heart monitor increased. It was just the slightest bit at first, only noticeable because after hours here the rhythm had imprinted itself in my mind. I paused, the beeping quickening, and slowly my body turned to her bed in disbelief. The girls were silent themselves, looking between Naru and myself. My gaze bore into her, searching, and then I saw it.

A twitch of her fingertips.

Thirty seconds later her eyes were fluttering open, and I scrambled to her side in a daze, unable to tear my eyes away least she fall back asleep. She blinked, once, twice, and somehow I found the strength to choke the words out.

"Naru?"

* * *

Naru was awake, but she was in no condition for visitors.

The four of us were ushered out of the hospital, and in my shock I let it happen without a fight. I stood outside the automatic doors, staring at them uncomprehendingly while my mind struggled to come to terms with what I'd just witnessed. Naru had woken up, she was going to be okay.

It was going to be okay.

Breathless, my feet moved of their own accord, away from the hospital and down the street. One of the girls called out something to me, but in my trance the words simply didn't take and they were lost. I couldn't believe it, even after watching her wake, I couldn't believe that this was happening; subconsciously, I hadn't thought that she would wake up any time in the near future. There had been people with far less serious fatigue from the attacks that still hadn't woken, I had checked, so how was it possible that Naru was up so soon?

Maybe it was best to just accept the good fortune without questioning it.

Just because I had bad luck didn't mean that Naru had it as well. Surviving the attack without the help of a Sailor Scout seemed pretty lucky itself. Maybe it was all a matter of will, and Naru's strong will had pulled her through the ordeal. I was so dumbstruck, so utterly lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice the pinprick at my neck, or the pull that kept my feet moving forward. No, I didn't notice any of that until I collided with someone and stumbled backward.

I started to apologize when I was cut off.

"Usagi?" Mamoru murmured, surprised. He was looking at me over his shoulder, and turned fully to face me.

"Boy scout." I mumbled, glancing up at him. He looked different, still handsome but more… ordinary, approachable, in his school uniform. Mamoru's brows furrowed as I continued to look at him, and his glasses moved slightly. Without really thinking, I added, "I like the glasses, they suit you."

And they really did.

"I- thank you." He said, taken aback. Then the intensity appeared, and he considered me for a moment. Hesitantly, Mamoru asked. "Is everything okay?"

"Naru woke up." I replied absently, before realizing he might need more context. "A girl I knew, she just woke up from her coma today."

Mamoru smiled. "That's good to hear."

"Yes." I didn't know why I had told him this, but the words had just sort of tumbled out. Then I remembered that it was Mamoru that had probably saved her in the first place. I wanted to say something, anything, but as I looked for the proper words my gaze drifted and I caught sight of two other boys in the same uniform behind him. They watched us curiously, and I realized I was probably interrupting something. The smile I mustered was a sad one. "Have a nice day then, and sorry for bumping into you."

I thought I saw his smile catch as I turned away and headed down the street, but I wasn't sure so I didn't dwell on it.

I felt oddly light.

At the dojo, I changed into my workout clothes and met Matsuo out on the floor. He watched me approach with raised brows and a half grin. "Good day?"

I thought it over for a moment, and then quietly responded. "Yeah, I'd say it was."

Matsuo brightened at that, and the lesson went smoothly. I didn't get a chance to get out on the sparring floor, which was a little disappointing, and Hajime-sensei kept giving me _looks_ like he had been for a while now, but otherwise things went okay. When the lesson ended, Matsuo and I grabbed our bags and headed off to work.

"Hajime-sensei has it out for me." I sighed, fighting off a yawn.

My companion snorted. "No he doesn't."

"He does, I can tell. It's that disapproving glimmer in his gaze."

"Hajime-sensei has a _glimmer_?"

"A glimmer."

Matsuo rolled his eyes, and I continued.

"And not just any glimmer, mind you. This is clearly a glimmer of impending death. He's going to stuff my body under the floorboards or something, just you wait."

"Have you ever taken a moment to listen to the words that come out of your mouth?"

"Can't, too busy trying to survive Hajime-sensei… and his evil glimmer of death."

Matsuo gave a long suffering sigh.

"He doesn't hate you, Usagi-chan. It's just that, well, you can be a bit…" He paused, faltering for what I assumed to be kinder words. I motioned for him to continue. "Aggressive."

"Aggressive?" I echoed, to which he winced.

"Maybe that wasn't the right word for it. It's not a bad thing, really," Matsuo assured. "Hajime-sensei is just cautious of who he teaches, specifically the more, er, violently inclined."

"Oh." I wasn't sure what to say to that. I hadn't thought of myself as a violent or aggressive person, but then, who was I to say otherwise? Hajime-sensei was a master of aikido, had been practicing and teaching it for years, so as uncomfortable as it was to admit, if he thought of me in such a light than he must have good reason.

Silence had descended upon the two of us as we trouped onward to work, and it was a heavy one. Matsuo seemed to stew under the weight of it, and after a minute he appeared to have had enough. "I didn't mean to imply that you're violent; god, I'm saying this the wrong way." He ran a hand through his hair and huffed. "How do I explain it? You have this… this unbelievable _drive,_ and every time you get on the sparring floor it's like it doubles, multiplies. I've certainly never seen anything like it, and to someone like Hajime-sensei it's worrying.

"You have to admit that it really clashes with the finer aspects of aikido. There's nothing wrong with not going easy on your opponent, because it is marital arts after all, but…" Matsuo rubbed a hand to the back of his neck, gaze downward. "You never pull any punches, never allow any of your sparring partners an inch of room. For a beginner, that's highly unusual; normally, they hesitate, strike more softly, shy away from being hit, and you don't do any of that. If taking a hit brings you closer to victory than you'll bear it, without complaint and your next attack will come with a vengeance."

"So I'm wrong for devoting myself?" Hajime-sensei preferred me to be meeker?

"No, of course not."

"Then what's the problem? Because I don't understand."

"The problem, Usagi," He stressed. "is that you bring your opponents down with no remorse. You're good, really good, but aikido is about peaceful resolution, acceptance and protection. In the wrongs hands, with the wrong mindset it can be twisted and abused, turned into a dangerous thing and that's why Hajime-sensei has concerns with you. We both know that aikido is more than a hobby or a simple release for you, and when you step foot onto the sparring floor it shows clear as day. Determined, resilient, and quick minded, yes, but that's not all that drives you; you're not a violent or hostile person by nature, but you are angry, and that anger is the problem."

The words spill out without a second thought. "I'm not angry."

Matsuo shook his head and gave a sad laugh, but he didn't debate it with me. I dropped the subject, unable to find the words to defend myself. He didn't know, couldn't understand, I was stuck in an impossible situation; I was alone, afraid, and a target. I _had_ to be able to protect myself, because in the end it truly was life or death and I knew without a shadow of a doubt that when that time came, there would be no one coming to save me. I didn't have a prince in shining armor, willing to give his life for mine; all I had was myself, and that would have to be enough.

I hadn't asked for the analysis on my emotional state.

It was easy, looking from the outside in; Matsuo didn't live with the shadow of fear that I did. Death was a very prominent aspect of my life, it's presence a whisper of promise that trailed behind the danger I desperately tried to circumvent every day. There was no way of knowing if I would succeed in staying out of harm's way, in fact I very much doubted this streak of mine would last. When the time came, I wasn't going to simply lie down and die, helpless in the face of my enemies. No, I would go down fighting, giving everything I had to get away and live to see another day; I refused to go down any other way, and I would not apologize for it.

Of course Matsuo had never seen anything like me; most people weren't driven by the will to live.

There was more to this than he would ever be able to understand. I had come to a bitter revelation of sorts in the past two weeks, curtesy of the Sailor Scouts. This was about more than my simple survival, I couldn't just fight for the right to live freely and on my own terms; as much as I hated the thought, there was one more thing I had to fight for, even though I was loath to admit it.

The Silver Crystal had to be protected at all costs.

Subconsciously, the Silver Crystal had always been something of a bargaining tool in my mind, a way to free myself should the Scouts or Tuxedo Mask ever discover me; it was a prize I might have handed over in exchange for my absolute freedom from their cause, on the agreement that they would never again involve me in their war. I realized now that it could never be done, I could not hand it over even if their intentions were pure. Mamoru was only one person, he could never protect it alone, and the Sailor Scouts might have the numbers but even they would have trouble protecting a power they couldn't use against the Dark Company, especially so early in their awakening.

Giving the Silver Crystal up was a surefire way to kill us all.

It was no longer enough to simply remain silent about my possession of it, to just get on a train and go far away as I had previously planned. I needed to be able to do more than defend myself, I had to be able to keep the Silver Crystal safe and I stood little chance of doing that as I was now. So yes, I was driven in aikido and unforgiving of my opponents, but what other choice did I have? Hand it over, allow both parties to regain memories I'd rather they not have, and watch as they lost it? Pure intentions were nice, but they weren't going to protect the Silver Crystal, and it couldn't fall into evil hands.

I was the only one that stood a slight chance at the moment.

So I had to be strong, because no matter how bleak my future appeared, it depended on it.

* * *

Work went flying by as usual.

The theme of the month, Creatures of the Woodland Realm, was still in play until the end of the week, and I, for one, was more than ready to see it go. Shifts at The Fabler were always longer due to the styling Harumi insisted on doing before we were allowed out on the floor. For Matsuo, who'd gotten the role of a fox, this consisted of orange ears, guy liner, whiskers, and a bit on contouring; this gave him the illusion of a sharper face, hooded eyes and a sly grin, and it only took an expert like Harumi fifteen minutes.

My process took a fair bit longer though, thirty minutes at least.

"It's a two person job." Harumi always insisted. As soon as I arrived I would be sat down in a chair in the dressing room and while Harumi worked on my makeup, another girl by the name of Sayuri would begin on my hair, turning my golden locks into tight curls. According to the two of them, it looked best with the bunny ears, so I suffered in silence while they went at it. My makeup was all pinks and whites, with the eye shadow and blush; Harumi would line my eyes with the thinnest line of eyeliner, add some mascara, darken my nose and add a few dainty whiskers, and then proceed to help Sayuri finish my hair.

I often found myself marveling at his talent, moving quickly and with ease, yet to make a single mistake. Harumi was a true artist, and The Fabler, the employees, we were his canvas.

When hair and makeup were to his satisfaction, we could get on our uniforms and finally make our way onto the floor. Matsuo, the lucky bastard, got black dress pants, a white dress shirt, and a vest/bow tie. By Harumi's logic, girls found men in suits to be extremely attractive. He was right, of course, because I could see the appeal, but that didn't mean I liked it any less. My outfit consisted of a white, three quarter sleeved dress that fell a couple inches above the knee. The material was velvet, lighter than actual fur would have been, and it had a fluffy, round tail.

One that Matsuo flicked at whenever he got the chance.

He too had a tail, long and orange that faded into white towards the end, and I tugged at it in retaliation whenever I managed to sneak up on him. Matsuo liked to tease me about the rabbit thing, knowing how I resented the entire getup; literally anything else would have been fine, anything that didn't link me to things I preferred to not think on. I was incredibly jealous of Sayuri, having drawn a swan as her animal; her outfit was feathery and striking. I spent most of my shift eyeing her, with the vague thought as to whether I could feasibly rip the dress off her and claim it as my own.

Why, in god's name, did it have to be a rabbit?

When the café closed, Matsuo and I stood side by side in front of the mirror, working the makeup off our faces with wipes. We'd changed back into our normal clothes, and I was struggling to keep my shirt free of makeup stains. Harumi was leaning against the doorway, watching us through the mirror, and there was a hint of something in his expression I could quite decipher, hidden behind the usual sass and amusement.

"So then, Harumi-chan." Matsuo began, scrubbing furiously at the eyeliner. "Are you going to give us a hint as to our next theme, or do we have to wait? Because I will have you know that I feel I deserve to know earlier than the others, considering I'm the one that struggles and labors to bring said theme to life each month, and without pay, mind you."

"Oh hush." Harumi replied playfully, perking up at the suffix. "You volunteer to help with the decorations, I don't _ask_ you to show up at six a.m. and do all that dreadful heavy lifting. You're just going to have to wait like everyone else."

"Hold up." I interjected, looking between the two incredulously. "No one said anything about helping with the decorations. I didn't know that was even a thing. I want to volunteer too, since you're taking requests."

"Usagi-chan." Harumi sang. "You sweet, darling girl. Of course you can help if you want to." He turned to Matsuo. "Why can't you bring me more girls like her? No, better yet, why can't you be more like her, hm? All this demanding of yours, such entitlement; you disappoint me, shameful boy."

Matsuo watched on in amusement as Harumi continued his dramatics, shaking his head sadly and gesturing wildly as he added, "It's all Hajime's fault, that brutish little brother of mine. He's gone and ruined you, the fool; no respect for etiquette, no charm, and certainly no sense of fashion. Too much time in his company, and now look where we are. You are ruined I tell you, _ruined_."

With a neutral expression, I said. "Perhaps an extended lesson in manners would allow Matsuo to live a less shameful existence."

"Oi." Matsuo's expression was full of fake betrayal, and I blinked innocently.

"A tempting idea." Harumi hummed. "Well, I'll be gracious and give him a chance to refine his uncultured ways. I am the boss, after all, and it's only fair."

"Thank you for being so considerate." Matsuo deadpanned.

Harumi pranced over and patted Matsuo's cheek. "There there, I have faith in you."

I finished getting the makeup off and dropped the dirty wipe into the bin beside me, turning to face both men. "Well then, best of luck with that. Shall I come at six on Sunday to help with preparations?"

"Yes, that will do lovely, thank you." Harumi smiled. He looked at me, clearly thinking something over, and I couldn't help but admire the man as I stared back. Harumi was beautiful, so carefree, and brilliant; even now, almost two months later I still found myself in awe of him. He had created his own little world at The Fabler, a little piece of paradise from his own hard work and dedication, and it was _working_. The world was not falling apart around him, he was thriving and happy and I wondered what that was like.

I wanted to be him.

"Saturday morning is the reveal, don't forget." He said suddenly, breaking me from my thoughts. There was something… deliberate, determined about him as he spoke. "Seven a.m. sharp. I slaved over your outfit, so I assume you will not be late."

"When am I ever late?" I teased, attempting to lighten the mood.

"Yes, how could I forget." Harumi sighed. "You're here even when you aren't on the schedule. I fear I shall never be rid of you."

I grinned. "I suppose I'd better make myself scarce then."

I bade the two of them farewell, and began the long walk home.

I threw my hair up in a tight bun, making the curls less noticeable though I needn't have bothered. Ikuko greeted me when I returned without actually setting foot out of the kitchen and I was able to get upstairs and into the shower with no trouble. Sleep was hard coming for me that night despite how tired I felt, too caught up in my own thoughts from the day.

Confronting the Sailor Scouts had ended up being moot point with Naru out of her coma. I couldn't bring myself to be irritated over it though, it felt like a fair trade to me; Naru's safe recovery for the loss of my anonymity. Venus and Mercury would keep a closer eye on me, but I hadn't let on to anything that would cause any serious alarm. The experience had been almost therapeutic, and I just didn't care about the repercussions themselves.

All I had to do was act normal, which would be easy enough.

I wasn't fond of them, they knew, and it wouldn't be strange of me to continue feeling that way. No outward animosity, no aversion, just typical preteen dislike. They were still a threat so I'd have to be careful; Luna and Artemis should be avoided still. Ultimately, they were my biggest problem, so if they grew too close, or took too much interest in me, then something would have to be done. Hopefully, it wouldn't come to that though, because I wasn't ready to flee or go into hiding. It was the cats that plagued me more than anything, and the knowledge that I didn't have an answer to the threat they posed.

I worried over it, and sleep was a distant thing for me that night.

When morning came I rose and readied myself for the day lethargically. I showered until the water grew cold, brushed and towel dried my hair at a snail's pace, and chewed my breakfast slowly enough that Ikuko watched me the entire time. In the end, it was her amused stare that got me out the door; she still seemed to think I had some sort of lover and was going through the typical stages of teenage love or something. I made my way to school in a near comatose state, and part of me reveled in the feeling. When the human body did not get enough rest, it had two emotional responses to the outside world; you were either borderline hysterical about the smallest inconveniences, or so far beyond giving a single, solitary fuck about anything.

Today I was the latter, and it was a lovely numbness in wake of yesterday.

It was another cloudless morning, where the sun warmed my back as I walked. I was beyond tired, the road I walked along quiet, and I indulged in fantasies of dropping right on to the sidewalk, curling up into a ball and taking a nap here and now. There was no one around to stop me, oddly enough, and that detail stood out to me for a moment. I paused where I was, taking in the empty road and thinking further on it. Where were the other students from school? I continued on, and a few minutes later just as I caught sight of the school gates in the distance, a familiar sound rang out and reached my ears.

The chime of the school bell.

"Shit." I picked up my pace, but in the distance I could see one of the administrators closing the gate and locking it. That would be a problem. I went off the path, climbing up onto the small, half wall that lined it and making my way into the forested area. I followed the gate going around the school, stopping when the front entrance and administrators were far out of sight. I eyed the wall of the gate briefly, noting its height before sighing and chucking my bag over. "Right then."

It took me three tries to finally scale the damn thing.

The drop was about seven feet, so it was with caution that I jumped down, bracing for impact and landing on my feet before stumbling a bit. I snatched up my bag, feeling rather smug, and turned toward the side entrance of the school.

And nearly tripped over a white cat.

Panic is a strong emotion, and it rarely leaves room for thinking. I panicked, and instinctually my foot went out in a swinging motion, bunting the cat away into the shrubbery. He yowled, but it was more of a sound of surprise than pain. For a single heartbeat I stood in place, stunned; then logic kicked in and I booked it into the school building and to class. After the homeroom teacher chewed me out, I fell into my seat in a daze. I was at a loss, disbelieving of the past five minutes and how I had just used what could only be Artemis as a soccer ball.

My god.

I kicked a cat.

* * *

The school was lively with the news of Naru's awakening.

My classmates chatted about it excitedly throughout the day, and it had been decided that a party would be thrown for her recovery and return. Yumiko and the girls were thrilled, and though I was pleased it was difficult to show because I was now an animal abuser and the guilt would probably follow me to my grave. It had been an accident really, he'd surprised me and it had sort of just happened. Plus I hadn't kicked all that hard, it had been more of a punt than anything really; he'd been so close to my foot that he hadn't been hit with force. Rather, he'd just sort of flown off it…into a bush. It was technically more of a throw than an actual blow.

Artemis hadn't spun or anything either, the bush was there to catch his fall and he would have landed on his feet anyway, so it could have been worse.

Christ.

I was a cat kicker.

For the rest of the day, every time I looked at Venus it was with a hint of guilt and apology. I wasn't going to tell her, because even though I knew Artemis was going to, a normal person wouldn't expect the cat to talk, and they certainly wouldn't admit to animal abuse. Or maybe apologizing to her would be the normal thing to do, I didn't know, but I really didn't want any more direct contact with her that wasn't necessary. I resigned myself to my future in hell, and tried to be done with it.

When the last bell rang, Yumiko stated her intentions of visiting Naru and I decided to tag along. She was quiet as I gathered my things and we exited the school, and I knew from experience that quiet was not something Yumiko could often be accused of being. Once we were a good ways down the street, she finally spoke. "Usagi-chan, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." I told her, curious as to her mood.

"I was wondering." She began hesitantly. "You were there when Naru woke up, right?"

"Yeah, actually. I was." I hadn't told anyone that though as I wondered how she knew.

"But the news didn't come from you." Yumiko stated. "Haruno-sensei and Ami-san were the ones that let us know. Ami-san had been the one to tell me this morning, she was really nice about it too, said she was happy for us and that we must be excited about it. Only, I hadn't known what she was talking about until she spelled it out for me."

I had an inkling of where this was going. "You're upset I didn't call to tell you."

Her expression said it all, and she turned away from me, focusing on the road. To be honest, the thought had never crossed my mind; I hadn't considered whether she would have wanted to know, too caught up in my own relief. I apologized, though I didn't feel particularly sorry for it either way. It was more for her sake, a gesture of resolution as I wasn't up to quarreling over things that didn't matter to me. Serenity's friends rarely ever crossed my mind, they simply weren't in my thoughts. Yumiko was pacified, though apparently she had a list of issues with me because she didn't stop there.

"So what were you doing with them anyway?"

I blanked on an excuse and settled on a half-truth.

"I noticed them visiting Naru a lot, and I didn't like it so I confronted them."

"What?!" She sputtered. "So like, you guys fought?"

"Words were exchanged." I replied vaguely.

Yumiko was silent for a moment, and then, quite suddenly she busted out in laughter. I jumped slightly, startled by the sound, and that made her laugh even harder. With tears in her eyes and a red face, she calmed down enough to say, "That is _so_ like you, Usagi-chan. Naru will be so proud when she hears that, and flattered too I imagine. You know, I never took you for the jealous type."

I scoffed, shoving her sideways. "Shut up."

"I have to know though, what happened?" She wiped a tear away. "I mean, did they get mad? Did you yell or anything when you told them to back off? Like, I would have been way offended if someone I barely knew said that to me."

"Look, it wasn't a big deal. Naru woke up in the middle of it and we were all kicked out."

"Huh. Not as exciting as I'd thought then."

I shrugged.

Yumiko hummed. "You know, it is a bit odd that they visited her so much. Maybe they were visiting someone else and just stopped by that time?"

"Who knows."

She observed me for a moment. "…You don't really like them, do you?"

It was more of a statement than a question and I shrugged. "Not really. I mean, it isn't as though there's anything wrong with them. I just think they're weird, and really nosy."

Yumiko appeared to think this over deeply; from the frown, I thought she might agree with me thought she didn't openly say it. Instead, the subject was dropped and Yumiko began to talk about other things, but I could tell that something was still bugging her. I made no mention of it though, content to let it slide if she wasn't going to bring it up herself. Perhaps that was wrong of me, but truthfully we weren't anything more than casual acquaintances. It wasn't my problem, and I wasn't going to pry; If she wasn't asking for my help then I wasn't obligated to make an effort.

The rest of the walk to the hospital passed by slowly, and the closer we got the quieter we became; conversation died the moment the building came into sight, and our paces quicken. I hadn't realized until now, but I was looking forward to seeing Naru for myself and assessing her condition. I was eager to get a better grasp on the state of her recovery, physically and mentally. So it was with excitement and hopeful hearts that the two of us entered the building.

But once inside, things took a turn for the worse.

"What do you mean we can't see her?" Yumiko's voice was of disbelief, rising with every word.

"Only immediate family is allowed at this time." The Head nurse explained firmly. "Come back in a week, when her health is better. There should be no problem then, so long as she continues to recover the way she has."

"A week?" She said shrilly. "A _week_? One of my best friends wakes up from a _coma_ , one that she's been in for _six weeks_ , after being _assaulted_ and you expect us to wait a freaking week?"

"Yumiko." I said through gritted teeth. She was making a scene, and the security guard, Arai, was now watching us suspiciously. I grabbed her arm but she shook me off.

"No," She turned back to the nurse. "This is messed up, and you are out of your mind if you think we're just going to leave. She needs us!"

Arai stepped forward menacingly.

I grabbed the back of Yumiko's uniform and yanked.

"We're terribly sorry for inconveniencing you." I addressed the nurse hurriedly, dragging a struggling Yumiko towards the exit. "Thank you for your time!"

Yumiko told the woman to do a very unladylike thing, and then the doors were closed and I was still pulling her away.

"That's such crap!" She fumed. "How dare they? Naru just went through a terrible experience and she's up there all alone!"

"I know."

"That cow of a nurse has some nerve. This is stupid, we should just force our way in."

"We'll be banned if we do that." I was unhappy about the situation, but not nearly to the extent that Yumiko was; she seemed more distressed than the situation called for her to be.

"So?"

"So," I sighed, "we wont be able to see Naru at all after that. One moment now and then she's alone for the rest of her stay here. Do you think that would make Naru happy?"

Yumiko made a defeated sound. "…No."

Good, she was seeing reason.

"Just… let me handle this okay?" I didn't really want to burden myself with the responsibility, but I did need to see Naru, and if I left Yumiko to her own devices we'd never get anything done. When Yumiko met my gaze, she had a flicker of hope in hers. The stark contrast between now and how she'd looked at me earlier was suddenly so obvious now. There wasn't time to dwell on it though, and I doubted I had the energy to remember it later. Exhaustion was beginning to settle in.

"Really?" She wondered. "You think you can do something about it?"

"Yes." Maybe. "We'll come back tomorrow, and she'll let us in okay? So don't do anything rash."

Reluctantly, she agreed.

We parted ways after that, me to work and her to whatever it was she did in her spare time. A vague plan formed in my mind, and when my shift ended I found myself playing pretend once more. I went home, went about my normal nightly routine, and went to bed as I did every night.

And then I waited.

It was nearly midnight when I snuck out of the house, going through my window and dropping down onto the dark ground below. I tried to roll a bit on landing, to distribute the shock like Hajime-sensei had once mentioned. That was twice in one day now I found myself jumping from heights; hopefully, there would not be a third time. I was dressed casually and took my time walking so as to not draw attention as I went. The streets were hushed, dead but growing more lively the closer I was to the business district. No one paused or stopped me on my way, and it was rare that I got a second glance from anyone.

The hospital was less active as I arrived, and I skirted along the side of it to avoid the main entrance and the Emergency Center. The building was seven stories tall, and large enough to have several wings. On the side I followed, there were fewer windows and a series of emergency exits that led to a narrow outer staircase. These doors would all be locked and alarmed, of course, so I couldn't get in that way. However, at the top of that staircase I could just make out what looked to be a metal latter.

It'd have to do.

Climbing seven flights of stairs was not fun. I was out of breath after three, and after the next four I required a moment to regain some energy for the next obstacle. I focused only on the latter in front of my face as I climbed it, slowly and one foot at a time. There were no safety precautions in case I fell, and that knowledge very loudly repeated itself to me with each step I took; I promised myself a nice long nap after the ordeal was finished and over with. When I neared the top the sound of people talking drifted to me, and I paused.

If there were people on this roof, than I had not in fact climbed this wretched thing in vain. No one would be up here if the door was alarmed, and even better no one would come up where if they didn't have the means to get back in; either they had a key, or, if I was lucky, there was something propped in the door to keep it from closing. My mind drifted to the card in my pocket, relieved that I might not have to use it. In college, I'd ended up locked out of my dorm many a time, and eventually I had learned how to open a locked door at the expense of my debit cards.

Serenity's father had about four credit cards, and I had snagged one before coming here like the sinner I was. There were problems with this, mainly that it didn't work on deadbolts and that my skill was probably a little rusty from disuse, but I'd only had a few hours to scrape the plan together, and it'd been a long time since I last slept. I moved up slowly, listening to the voices which were louder now, and after determining that they sounded farther away I peeked my head over the top.

And there they were, a man and a woman, both in scrubs, both arguing.

They were a good distance away, by the other end of the roof area, and I couldn't make out much more than the heat of the conversation. While the two of them argued I contemplated my options; I could go back down this accursed latter, possibly fall, and attempt to find a different way in, or I could risk it and attempt to sneak to the door. Of course, I could also wait for them to leave, but I wasn't sure I could stay this way for long. My hands felt slippery and I kept imagining the fall.

I was stalling, indecisive, when the two seemed to quiet suddenly.

I stilled, breath caught in my throat and listened. Had they seen me? Were they coming over? Had they left altogether? I counted to twenty, and when no one came I forced myself to look over once more. My eyes scanned the roof, at first seeing nothing until I lowered my gaze a bit. They were still here, on the ground now and kissing furiously and… undressing.

Good god.

I averted my gaze, nearly choking in surprise.

I definitely didn't want to go up there now, but I had an opening. There was a breeze of wind, reminding me of my precarious position on the latter, and my mind was made up. I tiptoed, silent as humanely possible, over the side onto the roof and to the doorway, pointedly ignoring the sounds coming from my right. There was a small stone propped in the door, and I tried not to disrupt it as I slipped in.

After that it was only a matter of evading hospital personnel and making it down the two flights to Naru's room on the opposite side of the hospital. Needless to say, it took me a while to get there. I was exhausted, having gotten no sleep the night before so when I finally entered Naru's room, I was sorely tempting to make her scoot over and let me get some sleep in. She was awake when I arrived, and jumped upon catching sight of me.

"Usagi-chan?" She whispered. "Is that you?"

"I'd say so, yes." I said, and she slumped. The movement appeared almost disappointed, and I found myself asking, "Why? Were you expecting someone else to creep into your room in the middle of the night?"

It was dark, but as I sat myself in the recliner at her side I caught Naru flushing. This struck me as odd, and I watched her for a moment. Who the hell else would she be expecting at this hour? The only people likely to even be up were myself and maybe the Sailor Scouts, if they were on a mission. Well, them and- oh.

"Oh…" I mumbled. Naru snapped her head around to me in surprise, cheeks reddening even more. She tried not to fidget as I stared, and I took pity on her by inquiring, "Who's the lucky guy then?"

Naru sighed, clearly struggling for words. I opened my mouth to save her from answering, but she beat me to the punch.

"I think I'm in love."

Now I was the one struggling for words. She continued though, speaking quickly as though the words wouldn't come fast enough and it seemed like I had opened the flood gate. "He saved me Usagi-chan, oh, it was terrible, I was so scared and he _saved me_. There was this, this _thing_ that attacked me, and it looked just like my mother but it wasn't! It was- it was a monster, it nearly killed me and it would have if he hadn't appeared. He wore a mask but he was handsome, and so brave; he killed it, and I know I sound crazy right now, but it was real and so was he. It was real."

She was half hysterical, watching me desperately. I set my hand on hers, squeezing it. "I believe you."

And then Naru was crying and in my arms.

I did my best to comfort her, shoving down my alarm at the suddenness. For a long time she wept, clinging to me; when her tears dried, we sat together on the recliner, silent and contemplative. It wasn't until the sky began to lighten that I noticed how long we'd been sitting there for. I was half-dead, and it looked like it would be another sleepless night for me. Thoughts of work and aikido lessons on top of an entire day of school made me want to keel over right here and now. I decided that school really wasn't all that important anyway, and that surely I deserved a sick day after all this chaos.

"I'm really glad you came, Usagi-chan."

My smile was bleak.

Naru cleared her throat. "I have to find him, I have to thank him for what he did. My mom…" She choked. Inhaling, Naru abruptly said. "Tell me something I missed. I want to know everything, just, help me get my mind off this mess."

I nodded, but my mind blanked on anything good I could tell her. There wasn't much positivity in my life, and any of the happy moments that had happened weren't something I could share with her, like my job or how well I was doing in aikido. In fact, I had more serious matters to attend to with Naru, questions that needed answering and information she should probably know. Now wasn't the time for that though, I'd have to wait a while for her to calm down before bringing up anything unpleasant.

Well, what the hell then.

"I kicked a cat yesterday."

* * *

A/N

I don't know how I did it, but somehow I was able to write my longest chapter yet and edit it in the span of three days.

I must be an imposter or something.

Anyway! In regards to the confrontation over Naru, Usagi was atoning in the only way she could, by being protective of the girl. It's her way of taking responsibility, but now that Naru is better it isn't going to last. Usagi won't have time to baby Naru forever, and she won't like the girl getting into her business either. Things are really starting to pick up from here, so I hope we're all ready to shed some tears and bang our heads against a wall.

Someone posed a lovely question in their review and I'm going to answer very, very carefully.

 **What put OC into Usagi?**

That would be a spoiler, dear reader. Can't tell you.

With that said,

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!

P.S. please pray to the wifi gods that my internet actually stays on, because it was a bitch trying to upload and post this chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N

Stop shipping Naru and Usagi, stop it right now. This is not Nasagi… er, Usaru… well, whatever that ship name would be this isn't it.

Anyway, now that that's out of my system, onward and upward and all that nonsense.

Disclaimer: I own Rabbit of the Moon. No Sailor Moon though.

* * *

With Naru's return to the waking world, I understood that nothing would be the same.

However, it took me a while to realize the implications of those words, and just how true they were. At first, I had been too wrapped up in her awakening to notice much else; every time I visited her, part of me expected to walk into that hospital room and see a comatose red head, because it was what I'd grow used to . Of course, that was never the case so whenever I did step foot into that room only to see her up and about, it was a blow to the stomach, leaving me a little breathless. Time after time I would sit there in that arm chair and quietly marvel at how full of life Naru was, and all I'd be able to think was, _Wow_. _I hadn't ruined this girl's life._

And that often left me light headed.

No, nothing would be the same for her, but Naru was alive and well, she was going to finish her schooling and go on dates and have a chance at a full life. In my mind it was the most amazing sight, because subconsciously I'd always thought that if Naru ever woke, I'd never get to see it happen for myself; It was an event months and months away and by that time I'd have most likely fled the city. She was awake though, and it was the greatest thing that I could ever have hoped for because now I was able to see with my own two eyes that I hadn't caused this girl irreparable damage. My selfishness had not been the death of her.

It was a weight off my back, to be sure.

So for the first few days, I didn't notice the changes that I really, _really_ should have, especially since I visited her every day, sometimes twice a day. Then again, with everything going on it was hardly fair to put the blame on myself; I'd forgotten how incredibly draining Naru could be, even more so than usual. I was tired most of the time, and so dumbstruck at her awakening that I did not notice it until nearly a week in; and by _it_ I meant Naru.

Specifically, her startling recovery.

In the span of a single week, she went from bedridden with a diet of IV nutrients to being up and walking normally and eating solid foods. Scientifically speaking, this was very much Not Possible. After months of disuse, her muscles had begun the process of atrophy and she should have needed physical therapy or, at the very least, a helping hand getting to the bathroom. Naru's return to solid food by all means should've been a long, gradual process, starting with liquids and yet she skipped that step entirely. Obviously, the doctors were stumped by this and she was given the title of what they could only chalk up to as a medical miracle.

By the second week she was released from the hospital and due back to school the following Monday. The rapid increase of her health should have been a good thing, but frankly, I found it to be somewhat alarming. Unable to simply let it go, I had done a little digging and found that there were three victims of similar attacks before Naru, and not a single one had shown any sign of recovery or waking as of yet. Naru was the anomaly, and even more concerning was the fact that I wasn't the only one that had noticed enough to do some research.

Now picture this: A series of attacks happening all over Tokyo; citizens targeted, assaulted, and falling into comas, filling up the long term wards of the hospitals. Any witness to the attacks are rare, one in a hundred, and the media is rightfully stirred up over this. The citizens are frightened, and so they send out Tokyo's finest to solve the problem, only for the men in blue to start dropping like flies as well. It is a terrible and possibly the worst time to be an officer of the law, under pressure to find answers and show some results against a foe they have no chance of beating.

The policemen stupid enough to engage the supernatural are going into comas, the doctors don't have a clue as to how to fix their patients, and people are still falling victim. Then, suddenly and without warning one of the victims wakes from her coma; her recovery is unlike anything the doctors have ever seen, something they can only chalk up to as a _medical miracle_. Within two weeks, she goes from a patient in the long term ward to being released in full physical condition.

Tell me, in a city with scared citizens and little hope, who wouldn't want to hear a story like that?

Almost overnight, Naru became a literal media sensation.

Reporters crowded outside the hospital when she was released, and then proceeded to lurk around the school and her home, taking pictures and shouting words at her. It looked like all the newspapers in Tokyo wanted an exclusive from Naru, and if there was a craze big enough to attract what felt like all the journalists in Tokyo, then you better believe other reporters had also begun to spill in from different parts of the country for the chance to get an interview. Naru was a walking, breathing miracle, front page news and the limelight had her snapping back into her old self real quick; talking makeup and hairstyles and squealing with the other girls every time they saw her picture in the papers.

Naru stepped back into her life as if it were nothing.

I wasn't kidding when I said it was nice to see, because it definitely was; but I couldn't bring myself to enjoy the feeling for long. Not once could I recall the city taking such interest in the attacks or the victims, and I remained bothered by it. It did not dawn on me until then, how pivotal the presence of Sailor Moon was to these people in the war against the Dark Whatsit. After all, when I thought on it there was no denying that Sailor Moon was the reason people were able to go home after an attack, with only the vague inclination that the whole ordeal had been little more than a dream.

Sailor Moon was the only one that retained the power to heal, so without her there to do her magic, fix the victims right up and make everything okay again? Well, people had really begun to take notice of the growing war being fought right under their noses.

I was conflicted as to whether this was a good or bad thing.

With no Sailor Moon to path them up, the Sailor Scouts had to be more careful. That meant they didn't only have to use more caution against the enemy, but that they had to think smarter as well. Winning a fight was all well and good but if it came at your own expense than that was a problem because the thing about fighting was that it never ended. Sustaining an injury during one fight could mean having to stay out of the net, and therefore leaving your comrades to finish it on their own, so the Scouts couldn't afford to be reckless.

So yes, people were getting hurt, but at their expense the Sailor Scouts were learning to fight and stand on their own two feet.

Everything came at a price.

Most of the time, I simply tried not to think on it too much as the damage was done and my feelings on the matter wouldn't change it either way. In fact, I was doing an excellent job at ignoring things like risk versus reward, or Naru's insane recovery and the other things about her that didn't sit well with me.

For the most part she acted the same as always, perhaps a bit more high and mighty, but that was to be expected. It was when Naru talked to the police that I had been left with a slight chill. She had lied about what she remembered, and that was fair enough when you considered the whole supernatural factor to the story, but she had done it so convincingly that I nearly believed her myself. Even afterwards, I found myself doubting what I knew, and that was a scary feeling. I would have never guessed she had it in her, and I also wondered what else Naru had lied about, to the doctors and even to me. If she had lied about anything, how would I know the difference?

Everyone believed her, and she played it well.

I couldn't explain why exactly this alarmed me, unsettled me so much, but it did. I left it alone, unable to bring myself to think further on it; the last two weeks had been tiring for me and now that Naru was out of the hospital, I was finally regaining some energy and I wasn't about to waste it on things like her lying abilities; I reminded myself that everyone had a right to their own secrets. Besides, I had a plethora of other issues to consider, like how creepy the Sailor Scouts had become.

"What do you think, Naru-chan?" Venus asked. She held a bottle of nail polish in the air between the seven of us and eyed it seriously. "I mean, the pink is nice but I'm not sure if it's too subtle, you know?"

It was lunchtime, and I sat at my desk with the usual crowd surrounding me. Sadly, this had begun to include Venus and Mercury whenever the two forced themselves upon us. Well, I say us but in all truthfulness I was the only one that had an actual problem with them, no one else seemed to mind. Since Naru's return, the Sailor Scouts appeared even more interested in her and doubling their efforts had paid off; Venus and Mercury were now officially part of Naru's little clique. There was a word to describe this entire affair, and while horrific and uncomfortable would be accurate representations, they didn't quite get the point across.

The phrase, I believe, would be along the lines of beyond irritating.

Serenity's friends stuck to me like glue, so wherever I went during school hours they followed, and trailing them were the Sailor Scouts. For the life of me I could not seem to get away, and that was how I found myself surrounded. At the moment, the six of them were contemplating a handful of nail polish Venus had brought to school, the pile scattered on the conjoined desks as they talked the merits of each color. Yumiko considered the pale pink bottle in Venus' hand for a moment before saying, "I like it, but I guess it really a depends on what you want your nail polish to say about you."

"Classy, yet willing to have a good time." Venus stated. "Of course, the pink is classy, but it's more demure and refined than what I'm looking for." The other girls, save for Naru, nodded along in understanding, and Venus seemed a little miffed that the girl hadn't answered her earlier question. With a pointed look her way, Venus asked again. "What about you, Naru? What color do you think says _fun with standards_? I really can't decide."

Naru, in the middle of painting my own nails a wine red color, paused and looked up to meet Venus' gaze. There was a spark of annoyance in her eyes as she smiled sweetly and I braced myself as she replied. "Hm, it's funny, I really wouldn't have pegged you as the _fun with standards_ type of girl. I, for one, think red is really the only answer to your dilemma, but Usagi-chan's already doing that color and to be honest it just isn't something everyone can pull off. Maybe yellow?"

The air was weighed down at our table, and we were all quiet for the span of a heartbeat under the faint barb of Naru's words. Without thinking, I broke the silence by saying, "Lavender."

The six of them turned to look at me. After a moment, Mercury spoke up. "Pardon?"

"Lavender." I echoed awkwardly. They continued to stare so I elaborated. "It's pretty, elegant but also fun because, uh, people don't really paint their nails that color often, you know? It makes you stand out without appearing over the top." I caught Venus' eyes for a second and gave a half shrug. "Purple used to be a sign of royalty in Europe a long time ago."

Naru appeared to think over my explanation. She nodded approvingly. "Yeah, you're totally right Usagi-chan, it's better than yellow. I vote lavender."

"Me too." Yumiko agreed. The other girls gave their positive opinion on the matter, and the Scouts shared a look. Venus picked out the bottle, shook it, and began painting the nails on her left hand. Naru went back to working on my own nails, and conversation picked back up. I tried not to fidget, still feeling a bit awkward from the near miss I'd managed to evade. I glanced around at everyone once and then turned my attention to the dark red drying on my nails, and definitely not the girl painting them.

In the wake of her new popularity status, Naru had become a bit of a queen bee, and her ego had skyrocketed as a byproduct.

She, like every other preteen in the world, was full of herself; only now there was quite a bit more of her. Naru knew I wasn't very fond of the Sailor Scouts, and her relationship with them was difficult to explain. They had proven somewhat loyal to Naru by sticking around, so most of the time they got along fine, but there were those few times she'd whip out a snarky response to put them in their place. This complicated things at school, because now that Naru was top girl everyone was watching and doing as she did. Some people gave the Scouts attitude, other were wary and ostracized them.

Of course, anyone that had the nerve to openly pick fun at them received a verbal smack down courtesy of Naru, so it was little wonder that some students did not want to risk her wrath. Venus and Mercury were a part of Naru's inner circle now, so only she was allowed to give them any shit, and in a distant sense I could somewhat understand this. The Sailor Scouts were her friends, so of course she was going to defend them, but that said, they were also new, friendly, and pretty which made them a possible threat to her reign; there was also the fact that they had sort of attached themselves to her in a way that, to anyone else, appeared out of the blue.

I had seen it coming, and even I found it a little over the top.

It wasn't that they were following her every step, or watching her every second of the day, but… there was still something odd about it, the way they devoted themselves to her. When they disagreed with something she said, they told her so, and during class time Mercury and Venus paid attention to their own studies so it wasn't as though they were completely obsessed with her, it was just another aspect of their relation that was difficult to explain.

It was the way Mercury was always helping Naru with school and homework, how Venus always somehow ended up walking her home and randomly bumped into her on the way to school. The scouts were concerned over her health, and wanted to know all these seemingly pointless facts about Naru's childhood and life, as though they were truly invested in it. With people like that, how could Naru not become friends with Venus and Mercury? Naru was never outright mean to them, it was more passive-aggressive and only came out when she was annoyed by something they did.

It was easy to see that despite how much she liked the attention, sometimes Naru felt a bit smothered, and so she reacted in the only way she knew how. In the end, Naru was just a kid that didn't comprehend the wrongness of her actions, so I couldn't exactly fault her for it. However, I loathed dealing with the three of them every day, which I was forced to since I couldn't seem to get rid of any of anyone. This was the kind of situation that needed to be dealt with very, very carefully. I did not want to risk dethroning Naru and accidentally end up in her place, so calling her out in public was not an option.

If I was being honest, I didn't even care to all that much.

Naru never crossed any lines, she didn't openly mock the unfortunate or anything like that so what did I care so long as I wasn't brought into her business? The only struggle I was having was finding a way to keep my distance from the Scouts and get Naru off my back. I just didn't want to deal with Naru or Sailor Scout drama, and I would have thought by now that at least _Mercury_ would realize that Naru was not the droid they were looking for.

But no, the Sailor Scouts were persistent as ever and I was stuck in the crossfire.

"Hey, Ami-chan." Naru cooed, having finished up my nails. "We're still on for studying after school right? I really need help with the history work; I'm so behind. Oh, and math too."

Mercury smiled. "Yes, of course."

Yumiko groaned, palms pressed to her cheeks and the pile of bottles forgotten. "Man, I don't even want to _think_ about math right now. You really are a life saver, Ami-chan."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes as I blew on my nails in an attempt to dry the polish faster; there was no way I'd be able to participate in class if they didn't dry in time, and Naru would kill me if I ruined them on account of something as inane as schoolwork. As Mercury blushed and waved off the compliment, I considered the color Naru had chosen. Red was something I could've pictured Serenity wearing, but certainly not this shade. Hers would be bright, far more eye catching then the wine red hue I sported, and the thought was morbidly amusing; we were both red, but the shades were so vastly different.

There was a pause in the conversation, brief enough that I nearly hadn't noticed it, probably wouldn't have if I hadn't been paying attention. I glanced up to see Mercury considering me curiously, and when our gazes collided she addressed me. "Will you be joining us this time, Usagi-san?"

I shook my head, caught off guard by the genuine tone. Over the past week both Scouts had made a real effort to befriend the other girls in Naru's group, and they had succeeded in doing so. It was different with me though, I had already stood my ground against them and the three of us knew I was simply being civil for the sake of school time peace. "I have my own tutoring every day after school."

"Aw, come on Usagi-chan!" Yumiko said. She leaned forward to catch my attention and gave me a pleading look. "Hang out with us today, this time we're actually studying and everything too, so it can't be that much different from your tutor."

"Yeah, what's up with that anyway?" Naru eyed me. "You're always going to tutoring these days, and I mean all the time."

I scoffed. "Yeah, and it's actually working so why would I stop going?"

"Just tutoring, huh?" Naru raised a brow, grinning. "Is that really _all_ you're doing then?"

I watched Naru uneasily. "Yes."

She laughed. "Oh come on, we all know that's not true."

I stilled, trying not to grit my teeth.

This is what I had been afraid of. I didn't know Naru nearly as well as I had once thought, and it was possible she could know more than she was letting on. I silently prayed this wasn't the case though, because I kept my outside life separate for a reason. At school and at the Tsukino residence, I was still Serenity to some degree and it was something I would never fully break free from. There was no room for relaxing and good old fashioned fun in a place where I was weighed down by the expectations of Serenity.

But outside, at work or the dojo, I was free.

That could not change, because if those two worlds collided, if Naru or anyone else started popping up in my actual life? I would not be able to handle losing that safety net, those small safe havens; I would lose my god damn mind if I didn't have an escape from Serenity. I took a calming breath, and told myself to keep it together. "Is there something you'd like to say Naru?"

If she had any degree of intelligence, the answer would be no; if my world up in flames because of Naru, I was more than willing to take her down with me.

Naru had never been the sharpest tool in the shed though. Her expression was smug as she confronted me and spoke loud enough for our table to hear. "So you mean to tell me that you spend every day _tutoring_ with that guy that picked you up from school a couple weeks ago? The older _high school_ boy that Kuri and Yumiko described as a total hunk?"

What.

Kuri giggled, and everyone listened in interestedly but I caught the flush on Yumiko's face. She wouldn't quite meet my gaze either, instead fiddling with a strand of her own dark hair. I was too caught on the word hunk to think further on her reaction though, because really? This was about Matsuo? Even Venus and Mercury looked interested in guy talk, strangely enough. Venus added, "Yeah, even I have to admit that guy was a babe. Are you really dating him, Usagi-san?"

"Christ, no." Matsuo was handsome, but we were just really good friends; I had no romantic interest in him and the idea just didn't fit with my image of the guy. Technically, he was helping me with my homework so that was sort of like tutoring, right? "We're just friends, he's my tutor and I want to keep it that way. My grades are pretty decent, my parents aren't totally disappointed in me, and I'm not going to jeopardize that."

Plus, it'd be super weird.

"So he's single then?" Venus inquired. She was clearly eager for an answer, and having her undivided attention on me was rather unsettling, as it didn't happen very often and never for this long. I mentally weighed Matsuo's worth over Venus' probing stare and the other girls' keen hearing.

"He's is as far as I know." I shrugged, tossing my dear friend to the wolves.

Matsuo was just going to have to take one for the team if it got them all off my back. I mentally reminded myself to swear him to secrecy later on today; actually, maybe this had been a poor idea on my part. If any one of them started following him, they'd find more out about me than I was willing to share and that would be a problem.

"There's some girl he's interested in though." I blurted out.

"Oh." Venus deflated slightly before something occurred to her and she sprung back to attention. "What's his type though? I mean, maybe it isn't that serious with the other girl. Is it?"

Everyone was looking at me now.

"Er, well I don't know all the details." I faltered. "But type of girls… he likes the, er, athletic types; you know, the kind that can keep up with him. Matsuo is very into fitness and eating healthy and all that dreadful nonsense."

"Well, if he's into healthy or athletic girls then I guess that means he'll never be interested in our Usagi-chan." Naru teased me. "How will you ever go on?"

"I'm sure I'll find a way."

Venus was far too interested in Matsuo for my liking, and apparently she considered herself up to the task of seducing him. She flipped her pretty golden hair and gave a winning smile. "So he likes strong girls, huh? I think I can work with that."

Well, shit.

* * *

Just like that bygones were bygones, and Venus had decided I was her new best friend.

She would not shut up about him for the life of her, sending me notes during class and asking questions in the halls; she even initiated physical contact with me, the horror. At the end of the school day I managed to pry her off my arm and make a run for it. Let me be the first to tell you that running away from a trained soldier like Venus was no easy feat; for starters, her legs were longer than mine, and she was faster than me as well. My only saving grace was that she wasn't tall enough to spot my short figure in a crowd, and so I was able to slip away unnoticed.

I dashed down the street and ran like a madman to the dojo, wheezing along the way and silently vowing that I would take up running at some point; there wasn't much good in attempting to flee an enemy if they were faster than you. I weaved my way through people and around corners, nearly mowing down anyone stupid enough to keep standing in my way. A stitch had formed in my side when the dojo finally came into view, and I told myself I wasn't _that_ much out of shape, it'd just been an exhausting few weeks.

First a couple flights of stairs, and now this; I was being taken down by a measly mile and a half.

I really wasn't cut out for this soldier of justice business.

Hell, I was probably doing the Sailor Scouts a favor by staying out of their way.

Red faced, I ripped open the front door to the dojo, and began sprinting in only to crash into Matsuo after three feet. He caught me by the shoulders as I bounced off him, saving me from a tumble onto the floor. With a laugh of surprise, he said, "Woah there, hotshot. What's the rush?"

"Matsuo," I wheezed, taking him by the shoulders and shaking slightly. "You absolute fool, you complete buffoon, what have you done?"

"Er, I'm not sure." He replied. "Maybe you should stop shaking me and tell me what I've done."

I let go of him, gesturing wildly as I spoke. "Oh, I'll tell you what you did alright, have no fear. You, my stupid friend, went to my school, and now they are all smitten with you and I am left fighting them off with a stick, a _stick_. Do you know how hard it is fighting off teenage girls with nothing but a stick? No, you don't know so I will tell you, it's nearly impossible. I slave every day trying to keep my school and home life separate from my actual life, and you come along and mess everything up with your damn face."

"Am I supposed to apologize for my face?"

"Yes."

"My sincerest apologies." Matsuo said somberly, though I caught his lips twitching upwards. "Now then, are you saying your friends thought I was hot?"

"Was that really all you got from my rant?"

"Hush now," He set a hand on my shoulder and began to guide the two of us further in. I was still huffing for air, but the stitch in my side had vanished as he continued. "As I was saying, these friends of yours; are any of them cute?"

"My god." I smacked his hand off my shoulder and pointed in his face. "No. We are not doing this, I am not going to play match maker with you. My schoolmates are off limits, no matter how attractive they are, you hear me? "

I had to make him see reason before Venus could get a chance to dig her claws into him, otherwise it would all be for naught. It had to be said, that girl was drop dead gorgeous; the planet Venus literally represented the goddess of love and beauty, and if Venus wasn't a sworn enemy I'd be able to freely admit that Matsuo stood no chance against her. However, it just so happened that she indeed was a sworn enemy, and that meant that I had to do everything within my power to stop this unholy union. Was it mostly for my own selfish sake?

Absolutely.

Matsuo could date anyone that wasn't a Sailor Scout though, as far as I was concerned.

He blew out a breath, hands on his hips. "No fair, Usagi-chan. I'd set you up with someone from my school if you asked me to, so why doesn't this work both ways?"

"Because," a sigh escaped me, "I don't want to mix the stuff."

"You aren't making any sense, as usual."

"Everyone at school thinks you're my tutor." I told him. "They think I spend every day going to tutoring, not learning aikido and working at a cosplay café. I lied to them all okay? I am in fact a liar and I know this might sound odd to you but I continue lying about it because you and Harumi and the fabler and the dojo are the only things that aren't suffocating me and I would like to keep it that way."

I might have been more free lately, and far less caring about playing the role of Serenity, but I was still wearing a mask to some degree. The Tsukino family, Naru, and pretty much the entire school would only ever see Serenity when they looked at me; how could you really be yourself around people who already expected a different version of you?

Matsuo's grin faded, and for once he was looking at me seriously. My throat was tight and I had to force the words out. "Can we just… can we just keep my schoolmates separate from everything else?"

Matsuo nodded, and I felt my shoulders relax. Neither of us said anything for a moment, and then he broke the silence by saying, "You could probably use a tutor anyway."

I laughed. "Oh, shut up."

We messed around and did a bit of homework until aikido began and Matsuo went to stand next to Hajime-sensei as his assistant while I sat with the other students in the circle formation we had become accustomed to doing. Hajime-sensei raved on about the importance of love and acceptance, and I did my best not to tune out. Then we practiced a couple new moves together as a class before breaking off in pairs to practice on partners. Our class had odd numbers, and as no one else was eager to join up with me Matsuo was more often than not my practicing partner.

I was enthusiastic today, because we had started learning our first flipping move earlier in the week and by now it would be time to test it out. As predicted, Hajime-sensei called for us to sit in circle formation once more after about thirty minutes into practice. We gathered around him and I was up like a shot when he called for volunteers. "Of course it's you." He muttered quietly, before raising his voice to address the other students. "Would anyone like to spar Tsukino-san?"

The answer appeared to be a firm no, as no one stood or raised their hand to the challenge. I was briefly reminded of Matsuo saying how the other students didn't like sparring with me, but I shook the thought off; it was hardly my fault that none of them liked getting hit or defeated, that was sort of the point of martial arts. I was doing them a favor, striking without holding back. Did they think an attacker would be courteous enough to wait until they were ready?

Honestly, it was silly.

Eventually, Hajime-sensei chose someone at random, and the two of us entered the circle. The fight was short, and disappointing; my opponent kept flinching and scurrying away from me like a frightened mouse, and despite my annoyance at the guy, I couldn't bring myself to throttle him as I might have liked. It just felt wrong, like taking a little kid's lunch money and beating him up. In the end, I simply stalked over and he stepped out of the ring in order to get away from me, making the match mine. When the lesson ended and people began to leave, Hajime-sensei called for me to stay back.

"I'm moving you to the next class." He informed me stoically. "It's the same time, only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays. You have exceeded the other students in this class, and I hope you use this chance to cultivate some consideration for your new peers, and perhaps think over the principles of aikido. That is all."

Hajime-sensei did not seem particularly pleased with moving me to the next class, and I wasn't sure what he meant by consideration for my peers; personally, I felt that I had been considering them well enough. If things kept on as they had been, odds were one of these people would find themselves the victim of a supernatural attack. Hopefully, when the time came they would have some common sense about themselves and realize that they were in danger. At the very least, I had tried.

Together, Matsuo and I left the dojo and began the walk to work at a sedate pace. We chatted about homework for a while, and I caught him giving me looks every now and then. I waited for him to say whatever it was that was on his mind, and about fifteen minutes later he finally broke. "You don't look very excited to be switching classes."

"Ah," I hummed. "I'm happy about it, I guess. Hajime-sensei certainly wasn't though, and he's the one that bumped me up. Weird, right?"

Matsuo ran a hand through his hair. "Maybe you should take this chance to try and get along better with the other students."

"What do you mean?"

"You know," He shrugged. "go a little bit easier on them."

"Easier? Why would I do that? I mean, this class will be more of a challenge anyway, won't it?" The opponents would be more difficult as well, since they'd been in the class longer and knew more moves than I did. Actually, I was sort of looking forward to that; I'd probably get my ass kicked, which would hurt, but at least it meant I could spar with stronger opponents and become more well versed in the art of aikido myself. Now that I was thinking it over, the idea really had me pumped. Sparring was a thrill, sometimes even fun, and the only person I ever sparred with was Matsuo, who went easy on me.

Soon I'd be the one going easy on him.

Matsuo ripped me from my fantasies. "It won't be too much of a challenge, not for you anyway. I just mean that you could learn to be on the offensive less, give the others a chance to make a comeback. It might make things more interesting."

I hadn't thought of that.

"Maybe you're right." I considered. I started to say more when Matsuo slowed, his attention on something across the street. I paused and stopped with him, following his gaze to two guys built like tanks. They looked seedy, and they were towering over another girl, giving attention that was clearly unwanted. Normally, my reaction to something like this would be to walk over and start screaming bloody murder; usually that was enough to get someone to back off.

Now though, with a few new moves up my sleeves and a rush of excitement at the thought of tougher opponents clouding my mind, I had a better idea. With a spring to my step I darted across the street in a move that nearly turned me into roadkill and walked right up to the trio. In the distance Matsuo had called out to me in alarm, but he was ignored in favor of sizing up the men. Perhaps it was because I hadn't had a good spar in ages thanks to Hajime-sensei's uncanny ability to keep me off the sparring floor, or maybe it was the knowledge that there were more horrific things going bump in the night.

Whatever the case was, no matter how much I looked at them, they just didn't care me.

I was not kidding when I said these men were huge; up close they had to be as big as Hajime-sensei, who towered over Matsuo on any given day and was a sky scraper compared to me. They looked like gym junkies, all thick muscle and tight workout clothes, with barely any neck. I should have been scared, or at the very least apprehensive about confronting anyone that looked as though they could break me in half like a toothpick. Here was the thing though; I was already living in a nightmare, where monsters were actual monsters and would hunt me down given the chance.

I didn't think I'd ever fear a human man again.

"Excuse me." I said, interrupting one of the guys. The three of them turned to look at me as I stepped in front of the girl, expression innocent and sweet. "I don't mean to intrude, or perhaps I _did_ , because I couldn't help but notice that you two appeared to be bothering this nice young girl here."

The one I had interrupted squinted at me. With a menacing tone, he responded. "What's it to you, brat?"

"Oh, saving damsels in distress from filthy street rats is everyone's business really." I explained sagely. "If I were you, I'd leave before this gets any more embarrassing."

Offended, the one closest to me stepped forward, hand out as though to get into my face; whether it was to express an opinion or pick a fight, the world would never know because that single movement was all I needed. I took his wrist, twisted my torso and used his weight against him. The guy went over my shoulder, and in my haste to try the move out I nearly took the girl out with him. He did not land lightly by any means, but fortunately the man did happen to miss the girl by a few inches. Yikes, I really had to be more careful about that. When I turned back to the second guy, the girl was already on him. At that point Matsuo had made his way over and swooped in to the rescue.

"Wow," I grinned. "My hero."

He pinned the other man down effortlessly, all the while giving me a lecture. "What is wrong with you? Usagi! You do not go running up to strangers three times your size and pick a fight with them! Do you even have a brain? Because sometimes I swear-"

But I didn't get to hear the rest of it, because at that moment a whistle rang out and an officer was hauling ass our way. Matsuo cursed and sprang up, taking hold of my wrist; he yanked me away and somehow I ended up with my hand on the other girl's wrist and together the three of us were running for it. I had said it before and I would say it again; I was not in peak physical condition. I loathed running, but as the three of us stumbled our way down streets and around corners, something about the situation struck me as hilarious. A chuckle broke through me, slowly, growing into a full laugh and suddenly I just couldn't stop, and then the girl and Matsuo began laughing as well.

We had to look ridiculous, running mad, with laughter echoing in our wake.

It only made me laugh harder.

* * *

Eventually, we were forced to stop.

My face had gone red, I was out of breath from laughing, and I had a stitch in my side once more. We all slowed to a halt as my stamina died out, taking refuge in an alley to regain our strength. I was wiping tears out of my eyes when the girl spoke for the first time.

"That," She began. "Was the coolest thing I've ever seen. The way you took on those guys and straight up flipped the one? Insane."

"Well," I said in between breaths, leaning against the alley wall for support. "It looked like you needed a hand."

"Oh," She fidgeted a bit, and shrugged. "I'm pretty tough actually, but thanks anyway."

The girl smiled hesitantly at me, her expression a bit unsure, and I found myself smiling back. "Us girls have to stick together, don't we?"

The girl was oddly bashful, as though she was pleased yet not entirely sure how to react to this. I thought that was a bit strange, what else would I have done?

"Usagi-chan is pretty tough too, if you hadn't noticed." Matsuo interjected. He appeared to understand better than I did, and he added, "But I still wouldn't have left her to it alone. Girls can be strong and still deserve to be protected."

"Exactly." I agreed, though I wasn't sure where that train of thought had come from. The girl flushed prettily, and I took that moment to give her a closer look. Her school uniform was unfamiliar to me, and she was quite tall; if I had to guess, I'd say she was around Matsuo's age. Her brown hair was up in a ponytail, with a few strands that framed her face nicely, and she had big green eyes that seemed to soften the longer she looked at us.

There was something almost hopefully about her expression, and the words tumbled out of me without thought. "My god, aren't you cute?" The girl sputtered, and Matsuo coughed in a way that sounded suspiciously like a laugh; he watched us in amusement as the words caught up with me. I really had to think before I spoke. I turned to Matsuo. "Don't give me that look. She's cute and we both know it."

And the girl really was; something about her made me want to squish her cheeks together and coo. Matsuo grinned and examined the girl before agreeing, "Yeah, she's pretty cute."

The poor thing turned red.

I took pity on her, holding out my hand. "I'm Usagi, by the way and my friend here is Matsuo."

She looked at my hand for a second, and I raised a brow. She reached out and shook it firmly. "It's nice to meet you two, and really thanks for earlier. You're amazing, I've never seen a girl do that before, well, besides myself. It's nice to see girls standing up for themselves, you know? Oh! Sorry, I didn't introduce myself." She was still shaking my hand, clearly nervous, and I was stifling a grin. "My name is Kino Makoto, but you can just call me Makoto, if that's not too forward."

My good mood died with the smile, and my hand went limp in hers. Jupiter took the hint and finally let go, leaving my hand to fall at my side as I stared.

Holy shit.

"That's a pretty name." Matsuo voice sounded distant to my ears. "So what school do you go to, Makoto-chan?"

Jupiter blushed. "Well I, I just transferred schools actually. I start tomorrow at Juuban Municipal Junior High." A choking sound came from his throat, and she continued obliviously. "What about you two? What school do you guys go to?"

"…Usagi-chan goes to the same school, actually." Matsuo replied. "Speaking of that, we should probably be going if we're to get any tutoring in. It was nice to meet you, Makoto-chan… Maybe I'll see you around."

She looked disappointed, and fluttered her lashes. "Yeah, see you."

Matsuo towed me away, the two of us silent for completely different reasons. Shell shock was an accurate way to describe me for the next few hours, where I was walked to work, sat in a chair, and was made into a 1920's flapper girl. Harumi had to good grace to do his work on me in silence, before shooing me out onto the floor for my shift. That was where shell shock took a nasty turn for me, and I became a twitchy mess.

I broke four plates, a glass, and kept having to replace the silverware that dropped.

I just couldn't believe it.

No one in the world was this unfortunate, literally no one. How did these things keep happening to me, why was my luck so poor? I had shook her hand, had even liked her enough to instigate friendship, and she was _Jupiter_ for the love of god. I found that a small part of myself was disappointed, and that only served to irritate me. She'd seemed so innocently normal, letting me grab her hand and following along as we ran away. Jupiter could have escaped into a different direction, better her chances of not being caught by splitting but instead she had stuck with us.

Laughing and throwing out compliments.

Jupiter hadn't been awakened yet, but if she was starting school then it was only a matter of time before that happened. I'd been way too friendly with her, and she had seen me throw a guy weighing three times more than I did. What a mess, and now I had to figure out a way to deal with yet another Sailor Scout at school, one that I had actually been nice to. Jupiter needed to look at me and see Tsukino-san, she needed to see Serenity, just like everyone else at school did, and not the actual me. I

I needed a plan of action.

At the end of my shift, I did my best to pull the pins from my hair and throw it up in a ponytail. Matsuo had finished earlier than me, so he was already changed and waiting on me to we could leave together as usual. I made a sad attempt to wipe most of the makeup off my face before calling it quits and snatching up my bag. It was dark as we left the café, and as usual the streets were quiet. Neither of us spoke for a while, both lost in our own thoughts. I was in the middle of scheming when something Matsuo said earlier caught up to me and I stopped dead.

He paused as well, turning to me in question. My expression was neutral and I stepped closer to him and asked, "What did you mean earlier when you said _Maybe I'll see you around_ to Makoto-san?"

His cheeks tinted as he shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. "Just, you know, that maybe we'd bump into her again."

"Oh?" I monotoned. I nodded considerately, before a too big smile graced my face and Matsuo twitched nervously. I placed a hand on each of his shoulders and, before he had the chance to react, swiftly sent my foot into his shin hard enough to make my toe throb.

Matsuo said a very unladylike word and cradled his shin. "You have an unhealthy penchant for violence."

"No. Schoolmates."

He was really going to be the death of me.

* * *

At school the next day, it was time for a seating change.

This happened every month or three months or every term or something like that; the details were rather fuzzy on me as I hadn't been paying attention when our homeroom teacher had explained it to us. There were two reasons for this; firstly, because she had announced that we would have a new transfer student today and secondly, that was the moment Jupiter had walked into class.

"I swear to god, it's transfer students every freaking time I turn my head." I muttered, burying my head in my arms on the desk. Yumiko chuckled, and Jupiter was welcomed into our class. This was my halfhearted attempt to stave off the inevitable recognition from the girl. I didn't care to watch for the Scouts and their reactions to her, it just wasn't worth it in the long run. With my head down, our sensei had begun speaking about the traditional changing of seats, and I was so used to tuning her voice out that by now it was instinct. So yes, I knew very little about seat charts, but did it really matter?

The gist of it all was that we were changing seats, and that I would have to put my head up and face the music.

She had us pick a folded piece of paper from a jar to get a number. I chose mine sluggishly, knowing that the new placement would be crap no matter what; I already had a window seat, and it wasn't too close to Naru or any of the Scouts. There was no way I would be getting a better deal than that. I opened the scrap of paper, looked at the number and found its corresponding one on the chalk board; middle row, second to last desk towards the back. I turned, intending to go to my new seat and nearly collided with someone.

"Hi Usagi-chan!" Jupiter chirped. "I can't believe we're in the same class, isn't that crazy?"

I noted the bit of distance around the girl, the way our classmates pressed away from her as though she had a possible disease. It made me feel a little sorry for her, just not enough to befriend a Scout. "Hi Ju- Makoto. I don't mean to be rude but I'd like to put my stuff down on my desk."

"Oh, Right!" She laughed, stepping out of my path. "Sorry about that. I should get my own seat then, before there's nothing left."

"Yeah, probably." I gave her a half smile before turning tail to my new placement. I dropped my things onto the desk and plopped into the seat carelessly, watching everyone else mulling about. Jupiter plucked a number, glanced at the board, and then beamed over at me; my stomach dropped as she strolled over and sat down in the seat to my left. Then Naru was coming over, probably to chat, and I briefly found myself grateful for a distraction until she passed me entirely and took the seat behind me.

It was quite literally all downhill from there.

Mercury and Venus headed our way as well, the former's sights on Jupiter and the latter's on Naru. Mercury claimed the desk in front of mine and Venus went to the one at Naru's right. The Scouts took a few moments to settle themselves in, a few moments where I debated the possibility of this arrangement to be a sheer coincidence, before Venus chimed, "Wow, we're all together! Sounds like the start of a stellar term."

Mercury hummed in agreement. "It's a shame that Yumiko-chan is all the way in the front by herself though. Kuri-chan and Nana-chan were lucky enough to get seats close to each other."

"You're right." Naru said. I peered over my shoulder to see her stand up determinedly. As she strolled away she added, "This just won't do."

We all watched as she went up to a couple groups of people and inquired over their seating. A couple minutes later another girl whose name did not come to mind tapped Yumiko on the shoulder and said something the rest of us couldn't hear. Naru was back in her seat looking on in satisfaction as Yumiko gathered her things and headed back to us with a cheerful disposition. She sat down behind Jupiter, on Naru's left and happily began to unpack her things.

I turned in my seat to face Naru and raised a brow. "How'd you manage that?"

"Oh, you know." She waved a hand, voice casual. "I told Haruka-san I'd give her a fifty percent discount at my store if she switched seats."

"Can you even do that though?"

Naru leaned forward, elbows on the desk and grinned. "What my parents don't know can't hurt them."

Well, it was her neck to risk.

A thought occurred to me then, and I couldn't help but voice it. "You didn't just happen to accidentally get the seat behind me, did you?"

I had been the one to pick first, before Naru but after Yumiko; we were the only two that could possibly have gotten our seats by pure chance. _Well,_ I thought as I eyed the brown haired girl to my left, _Us and Jupiter, at the very least._

Jupiter being seated next to me was a coincidence, but it seemed to be the only one; Naru smirked, confirming my suspicions. She had finagled her way into the seat behind me, and, as was common knowledge, wherever Naru went the Sailor Scouts followed. No mere coincidence, but it also wasn't the universe trying to do me in so while this regrettable seating arrangement was mostly Naru's fault, I was willing to let it slide. The only real misfortune was the odd sort of friendship between Naru and myself, and the fact that Jupiter had found a place at my left by no remarkable feat.

"Anyway," Naru shifted to catch my eye. "You haven't introduced us to your new friend, Usagi-chan."

I made the mistake of looking at Jupiter and seeing her perk up, looking at me with that half hopeful puppy dog gaze. Oh, for fuck's sake.

"This is Makoto," I gestured to her. "I actually just met her yesterday. I was on my way to tutoring and bumped into her as she was leaving the library."

Jupiter gave me a wide eyed look, but Mercury saved the day. "It's nice to meet you, Makoto-san. My name's Mizuno Ami, I hope we'll get along."

"Well, with all the transfer students our class seems to get, I'm sure she'll fit right in." I paused, considering, and then added, "With any luck Makoto, someone else will come around in the next few weeks and take your place as the new kid."

Yumiko grinned. "Careful now, Usagi-chan. You'll blink and another one will come walking through the door."

"Yeah, right." I said.

But then the strangest thing happened.

There was a knock on the door and it was slid open to reveal one of the administrators. He beckoned for our sensei to come over, and they stepped out into the hall for a minute, speaking too quietly for anyone to hear. Then, our sensei stepped back into the room, and said the last thing any of us would have expected to hear. "Well, isn't this day just full of promise? Class, it appears we have another, surprising new addition to our ranks. Why don't you come in sweetie?" She motioned to the person in the hall. "Everyone, please welcome Miss Hino Rei to the class."

What fresh hell.

To my sheer disbelief, Mars stepped into the classroom, and she was sporting the school's uniform. I swiveled around to Venus, only to see an equally shocked expression on her face. Slowly, she tore her gaze from Mars and met my own; I gestured to mars in a manner one might consider violent and other than the small glimmer of apology in her eyes, she gave no reply. As Mars mentioned how glad she was to be here, I sensed Naru lean forward in her seat and whisper, "Wait, do you know that girl?"

"Yes." I replied through a clenched jaw. "Unfortunately."

And then Mars did the damnedest of things; She swaggered down the aisle as though she owned the place and gracefully seated herself in the desk right in front of Venus. The desk that just so happened to be directly at my right. Mars gave Venus a wink, making the girl let out a resigned sigh, before turning and meeting my gaze.

"Oh," She droned. "It's you. I really hope you aren't going to tell me I can't come to school now, you know, since it doesn't belong to _just_ you anymore."

My smile was all teeth. "Sweetheart, try not to start anything you can't finish."

With a smug look and her chin held high, Mars turned to face the board. "Don't worry, I never start anything that I can't finish; after all, this isn't just your turf anymore, _sweetheart._ "

It left a bad taste in my mouth, because she was right.

School might not have been a safe place, but it had been mine before the Scouts, and having to share it with them was becoming more and more difficult. Mars being here was a grave misfortune, because she was literally the last person I ever wanted to interact with on a daily basis. I could take the leader, the genius, and the shield just fine, but the line had to be drawn somewhere and I drew it at the psychic. I already had enough problems on my hands without having to add another to the list; the last thing I needed right now was Mars and her head bitch attitude. God only knew what she would be like with Naru, the mere thought was giving me a headache.

Between Mars, Naru, and myself it would be a miracle if no blood was spilled by the end of the day.

Because this was, without a doubt, war.

* * *

A/N

Yesterday, I was a broke, unproductive member of society with little down time on my hands and a near constant existential crisis floating about the recesses of my mind. Today, I am still all of those things, only now I've hit my twenty first birthday and can legally drink my sorrows away.

So cheers to that.

For my very special birthday, I'm giving you guys a chapter and I'd be beyond thrilled to receive some reviews as a birthday present if any of you feel like getting around to it. Anyway, with that said I hope everyone got a good surprise out of this chapter, because that's always an enjoyable reaction to see. Things are about to get heated for Usagi at school, and I am unbelievably excited for the next chapter! We're really going to start getting into the root of the Sailor Moon plot soon, so as always do bear with me here.

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	10. Chapter 10

A/N

There's just no winning with you people is there? First it was NaruxUsagi and now its MakotoxUsagi, where does this madness end? Gotta be honest though, I certainly wouldn't mind to see some kind of Usagibowl where you shippers fight to the death over which should be canon in Rabbit of the Moon.

I mean, its never going to happen either way, but definitely feel free guys.

Anyway, I got an interesting pm concerning Harumi, so I thought I'd share the answer with you guys. I actually based his look on a character from kamisama kiss, Otohiko. It was just what came to mind when I started writing him, though it should be said that _only_ Harumi's looks are based on him. They might seem similar but there's more of a caring quality to Harumi, despite his dramatics. He is an older brother, after all.

Thank you guys for the birthday wishes though! I was so happy I wrote this chapter right away!

Disclaimer: I own this fic, obviously. No Sailor Moon though… yet.

* * *

It took only took four hours for my hopes and dreams to crumble into dust.

When Mars had walked into class, I'd felt rightfully concerned over how she was going to add and change the dynamics of my inescapable entourage. After all, the girl had more fire and spirit than the lot of them combined, and with Naru's new rise in popularity there had already been problems with the other Scouts. Mars wasn't just strong willed either, she was beautiful, and like Venus she knew it. Naru certainly had issues with Venus on occasion, so adding someone like Mars to the mix could only mean trouble for everyone involved. It did not take long to find out what immediate consequences Mars would have on us, because the simple answer was this:

Naru and Mars got along like a house on fire.

It was the worst outcome I could have imagined, and ultimately the only thing that mattered because as I had stated time and time again, I couldn't seem to break free from Serenity's friends. I did not speak to Mars once during the four hours before lunch, I could do nothing but watch as she continued to charm Naru throughout the morning and slowly worm her way into the Queen Bee's clique. It was like watching a train wreck, where you knew what was coming but couldn't seem to tear your eyes away; I was both dumbfounded and aghast, and all I could do was watch it happen.

If I wasn't watching them, I was burning holes into Venus' head with my stare.

Let me be the first to tell you that it is not easy to glare accusingly at someone sitting behind you; it takes devotion but nevertheless, I persevered. With stiff shoulders, Venus gave it her best shot at ignoring me, but every now and then her gaze would flicker over to me and she'd flinch a bit; it was the only satisfaction I received the entire morning. When lunch rolled around, the girls moved their desks together as per usual and to my eternal resentment, I ended up with Mars on one side and Mercury on the other. Naru had insisted that, because I was in the middle, I could no longer leave my desk the way it was and now had to move it around to include everyone else.

I knew switching seats was going to be a mistake.

With our desks pushed together, we created something of a circle. To my left was Mars, and to her left, Venus; then it was Naru, Yumiko, Jupiter, and back around to Mercury. On any given day, I would prefer to sit next to Yumiko, who was the least stressful one here, but regrettably she was on the opposite side of our makeshift table. That left Mars and Mercury, neither of which I was keen to speak with in the first place. I glanced to my right at Mercury, only to see that she was engaging Jupiter in conversation.

Mercury had had her eyes on the girl all morning, so I took a moment of silence for Jupiter and the loss at any chance she might have had at a normal life because that was clearly a dead prospect at this point. I pointedly did not look in Mars' direction, though she was having a hushed conversation with Venus and probably wouldn't have noticed me anyway. The two of them were speaking in quiet, fast voices, almost as though they were bickering, and, well, you know how the saying goes.

Curiosity and cats.

I pretended to be digging in my bag as I listened in, catching only the tail end of Venus' sentence as she said, "… stupid, even for you. Didn't I say we had it under control?"

"So what?" Mars whispered harshly. "It's not fair, you two get to be here all the time, get to do your duty but I don't. There was no other way to insert myself into it, so I took things into my own hands. Why is that such a problem?"

"Because," Venus hissed. "You did it without any warning or anything. I'm in charge for a reason, you should have come to me first. How was I supposed to know you were upset otherwise?"

Mars huffed. "I deserve to serve and protect too. It's my right as much as it's yours."

The two of them quieted at this, and then Venus gave a resigned sigh. "Well, it's done with now. Just do me a favor and tell me next time, okay? And…" Her voice lowered even more, to the point where I was forced to strain to hear the next part. "Be careful, around _her_ , alright? Naru is… very much attached to her, and she will get angry or upset if you go too far."

I fought against the natural reaction to still at her words, instead deciding to plop down my bag on the ground and act as though I hadn't heard them. Then Naru called for my attention and I looked up at the welcome distraction. "What are you doing Friday night?"

Maybe it wasn't that welcome after all. "Tutoring."

"Wrong answer." She said. "Look, I won't get into this tutoring thing with you today, okay? Minako-chan and I met some really cute high school boys yesterday, and they want to hang out with us on Friday so I really need you to come this time. You know, for moral support."

"Pass." I told her. She pursed her lips, miffed with me and I knew this wasn't something she was going to give up on for a while. It really wasn't my kind of thing though, and besides, why would I want to hang out with a bunch of strangers in an uncomfortable social situation when I could be working and making money? I considered it to be a logical decision, but Mars appeared to disagree, and she looked rather outraged at me.

"What kind of friend are you? She asked you for moral support." Her voice was filled with disbelief. "You don't get to pass just because you don't feel like it."

"That's funny," I replied sweetly. "Because I'm pretty sure I did just that."

"Well," Mars said. "If you ask me-"

"No one did." I interrupted her. "And I doubt they ever will."

"Has anyone ever mentioned how unpleasant you are as a person?" Mars sighed and shook her head at me. "It's a wonder you have any friends at all."

"It's called being a bitch." I gave her a sugary smile. "I excel at it, and if your poor, delicate personality can't stomach it, then maybe you should go running back to your last school."

Mercury pulled herself from conversing with Jupiter long enough to intervene. "Come on, you too. Let's not fight."

Jupiter looked between us nervously, nodding in agreement. She faced Mars and addressed her. "I'm sure Usagi-chan has her reasons for not wanting to go, so it isn't fair of you to make assumptions without even asking. Right, Usagi-chan?"

"No, she's right." Jupiter deflated a bit at my confirmation, and I continued. "I could go if I wanted to, it's just that I'd really, really rather not."

Naru pouted. "Some best friend you are."

I shrugged, sipping on a bottle of water and she went at me at a different angle. "What's the harm in taking one night off? It's not going to make any difference in the long run, and anyway I study with Ami-chan all the time; there's no way your tutor is better than her. Just take the one night off, okay? I'll even talk to your mother about it."

I choked.

After a violent coughing fit where Mercury gave my back a few firm pats, I managed to respond, "That's not the point Naru. Look, if you really need me there, then fine; I'll skip this one time but that's it, got it?"

She squealed happily, and my Friday night fate was sealed.

What else was I supposed to do though? Let her speak Ikuko? I didn't actually have a tutoring lesson, so what would the two of them do when Naru popped around unexpectedly and started asking to let me skip a lesson I wasn't even enrolled in? It was just problem after problem for me, wasn't it? Lying had made a mess of things, and I needed to remedy the situation somehow because now that the idea had come to her, sooner or later Naru was going to decide she would benefit from a talk with Ikuko. Spilling the truth to her was not an option, and in fact any truth sounded like a bad idea.

Lying had got me into this mess, and it was going to get me out of it.

I spent the rest of the day tuning out class and watching Mars get buddy buddy with Naru. She shared some of her lunch with her and listened to Naru's gossip as though it was the most fascinating thing she'd ever heard. I counted down the minutes until the bell finally rang, going over my next course of action. Having been bumped to the next class, I had aikido today; the class began an hour after school, and it wasn't too far down the street from here.

But first, I had to make a pit stop at the Tsukino residence.

It was in the opposite direction of the dojo, so I would have to be quick about this. When the bell of freedom rang, I gathered my things from my locker, slammed it shut and began a fast paced walk out the door. Just as I cleared the school gates I spotted someone lingering near them, in a different school uniform. I paused for only a second, and, after doing a double take my feet made a sharp turn in that direction. I approached the person and hissed. "What the hell are you doing here?"

Matsuo cringed slightly. "I was waiting for you, actually."

How convenient. "Oh, is that so? No other intentions concerning my schoolmates then?"

"That's right." He put on a brave face. "It just so happens that I had something to tell you, and before this conversation takes an unpleasant turn I'd just like to point out that it's hardly my fault Makoto-chan also attends this very school."

I eyed him, debating the likelihood of his words.

It was entirely possible that he did come here for me, sure, but he could have waited a little ways back or even over at the dojo instead of here. Upon further examination, I noticed that his uniform was less wrinkled than usual, and that his wild hair appeared a little more tamed, as though someone had attempted to brush it. Under his wary gaze I stepped closer and sniffed. "Are you wearing cologne?"

He flushed and shooed me back. "Don't be silly." Matsuo sputtered. He began to say more, but something appeared to catch his attention and his gaze settled over my shoulder, expression turning softer. I peered over my shoulder, looking for the cause and spotted Jupiter exiting out of the school, accompanied by Mercury. I cursed my luck and looked back to my mooning friend, snapping my fingers in his face.

"Oi, pay attention." Once he finally focused on me, I told him sternly, "Look, I have to go do something real quick, and I don't have time to babysit. If you're going to go talk to her anyway, get Makoto alone and swear her to silence on the fight yesterday. Don't tell her anything about the dojo or work, just say that I'd get in a lot of trouble for fighting like that so no one can know okay? Did you get all of that?"

"Talk to her alone, right." He echoed.

"And swear her to silence. That's the important part."

"Uh-huh."

I was leaving my fate in the hands of an idiot.

There was nothing for it though, I was losing time before my lesson began. Hopefully, Matsuo wouldn't blank and ruin everything when faced with Jupiter, otherwise I would actually be forced to murder him. With a frustrated noise, I turned my back on him and began a half jog away from the school. Just as I was turning the corner, I thought I could hear the faint sound of Matsuo calling my name but it had been far off and I couldn't waste another minute climbing back up the hill to the school entrance.

Whatever he wanted to say would just have to wait.

* * *

You would think that, with all the hurrying I seemed to do lately, I would find time to actually work on my stamina.

I arrived at the Tsukino residence out of breath and full of self-loathing; that was it, I was going to start running in the mornings because this was getting out of hand. I paused at the door long enough to organize my thoughts and the preplanned words before opening it and calling out my return. Ikuko's head appeared from the kitchen as she gave me a surprised but genuine welcome back.

"You're never back this early, Usagi-chan." She stated. "What's the occasion?"

"Right, I'm going to head back out but first I needed to ask you something." Her expression was amused as I took a deep breath and spoke the words at once. "If Naru or anyone from school ever comes over and asks you about tutoring, can you please play along and tell them you signed me up for it?"

"Of course, darling." Ikuko leaned against the doorway, and her voice went from agreeable to knowing. "This wouldn't happen to have anything to do with a boy, would it?"

Well, technically, Matsuo was a boy and he sort of counted. "Yes, it does. I'm in a bit of a rush though, so I don't really have time to talk about it."

With a teasing glimmer in her eye and a nostalgic sigh, Ikuko rest a palm to her cheek. "It's okay, I won't press you about it… yet. I remember what it was like, falling in love with my first boyfriend." Cue sigh. "Ah well, just make sure to bring him around if things get serious, your father and I will want to meet him at some point. We could even do dinner; that would be nice…"

Yes, of course, when hell freezes over.

"Er, well, I'm going to go then. Be back later, bye!" I scuttled out the door again, my feelings of relief warring with vague alarm at the thought of bringing any sort of boy to the Tsukino residence. With the errand done, I booked it back down the street, towards the dojo. Excitement built in me as I drew closer to my destination, and I couldn't help but think that right now I was really starting to make some progress. I had a steady flow of cash from work, was on my way to getting more experience in self-defense, and finally it felt as though I could make a clearer outcome of the future and delve into the finer details of my plans.

Sure, the whole Mars thing was a bit of a downer, but after some thought I had to admit that it didn't matter all that much in the long run. My time in school would be coming to an end, it was September and by February I was confident I would have the necessary funds to begin my life away from Tokyo. I only needed to deal with the Scouts for five or six more months, and in that time I simply had to up my drifting away game. By the time I disappeared, Naru and I would be so distant that it would take days for anyone troublesome, like the Sailor Scouts, to take notice.

I just had to play my cards right.

There was a bounce to my step as I made my way to the right street. When the dojo came into sight, I quickened my pace; I was too busy putting my weight into the door to notice how the lights were off. It was only when the door remained shut that I took a step back and caught sight of the closed sign. I blinked, eyeing it for a few moments, but the sign didn't go away.

Huh.

After peering into the window and finding zero signs of life, I lingered outside the doorway. The dojo was closed, and as my mood soured I found myself at a loss; this was supposed to be my first class, and Hajime-sensei had closed for the day without letting me know in advance, probably just to spite me. The free time on my hands was… not a welcome feeling, so instead of wasting the time away I decided to head to work early.

That was where I found Hajime-sensei.

Surreal did not even begin to cover the scene I walked into. Hajime-sensei sat in one of the chairs in Harumi's office, a pink beverage sporting a tiny umbrella in hand as he listened to his brother's chatter. Harumi, fabulous as ever, sat behind the big wooden desk, feet on top of it and leaning back in his chair as he gestured dramatically. "Honestly, you'd think she'd been working all her life, with the way she acts. An unbelievable work ethic, and an even more unbelievable drive. Meanwhile I can't even get Rika to show up for all her shifts, and god, don't even get me started on fittings. It's like pulling teeth, why I even keep her on to begin with I don't even know."

"Bad talking employees, huh?" I waggled a finger in his direction. "That's no way to live, Harumi."

"Usagi-chan!" Harumi cooed, perking right up. "Baby doll, don't go picking up bad habits; eavesdropping on others is how you get into sticky situations."

"Don't I know it." My life was pretty much a never ending series of sticky situations though. Harumi got up from his chair and danced over to me, and I couldn't help the grin that formed as he wrapped an arm around my waist, palm settling at the small of my back. He grabbed one of my hands, pulled me closer, and made a show of sighing wearily.

"You're the only one I can count on, Usagi-chan." Harumi began. "This eavesdropping business, you must have gotten it from Hajime; he was always a pest when we were children you know."

"I'm right here, Haru-nii." Hajime-sensei deadpanned.

"Hush now little brother, Haru-sama is speaking." Harumi told him before turning back to me. "Do you see what I have to deal with? Usagi-chan, the greatest travesty in this world is how many years apart we are; were you a little older, I'd have married you by now. In fact, when you reach legal age I still might."

"I thought the greatest travesty in this world was pleather?"

"That too." He agreed, to my amusement. Harumi released my hand in order to capture my chin in his grasp and look lovingly into my eyes. I indulged him, far too amused with his dramatics to stop him or the lover's embrace. He batted his lashes at me playfully, and took on a sorrowful tone. "Alas, our love simply isn't to be. For someone like myself to court a young lady in my employment would be forbidden. Do forgive me, my love."

I struggled to put on a serious expression. "Ah, the bittersweet sting of rejection. I understand completely."

A new voice jumped in, surprising me. "I don't even want to know."

As one, Harumi and I turned our heads to the doorway, cheeks brushing, where Matsuo stood looking for the world like he really wished he hadn't walked in at this moment. Still embraced by Harumi, I narrowed my gaze at Matsuo and said, "I sincerely hope you've come here bearing good news. Did you do as I asked?"

He threw a question back my way instead of answering. "Are you two going to stay like that or..?"

"Yes." I wrapped my arms around Harumi's neck and his free hand went down to my waist, happy to play along. "Why, are we making you uncomfortable?"

"Intensely uncomfortable."

"That's too bad. Now tell me what happened before I make you _really_ uncomfortable."

Matsuo scrunched his nose. "I asked Makoto-chan to keep quiet, and she promised she would, okay? And if you had just waited, you would have known the dojo is closed today."

So that's what he had wanted to tell me.

I patted Harumi's cheek and stepped away, his arms falling back to his side. He gave me an approving look and teasingly stated, "Wounded by a vixen. Anyway, no more of this loitering around; Hajime, to the kitchen. I need to get these two into costume, so let's get moving people."

Matsuo and I were then herded into the dressing room for a torturous amount of time before Harumi deemed us worthy of stepping out onto the floor. The café's theme of the month was the Roaring Twenties, though oddly enough it was a westernized version; very american, all prohibition and great depression. When I had asked Harumi about it, he had simply shrugged and mentioned his love of old American movies, the kind with gangsters and secret bars and flapper girls.

Sometimes, it was better to just go along and not ask.

We had another week and a half before the theme ended, though I had to say this wasn't nearly as bad as the last had been. Since I had started my shift earlier than usual, it was over at around seven thirty; Harumi nearly dragged me off the floor in my reluctance to finish up and it had to be said that I did not do well with too much free time. It left me with too many moments to think over the tragedy that was my life, and all the ways it could go wrong for me. Matsuo would still be on the floor for a while, so I busied myself with little tasks around the café, too daunted by the prospect of idleness.

I killed a fair amount of time organizing and cleaning up the back while carefully avoiding Harumi. At the moment he had his office door shut, dealing with a supplier over the phone. I tied up a full garbage bag and ducked under the office window on my way out the back door. I was just tossing the bag into a dumpster in the alleyway when I spotted Hajime-sensei. He was easy to see once the door closed, leaning under one of the alleyway's lights. There were a few cigarette buds near his feet, and he was stashing something in his pocket when I turned from the dumpster. He gave me the side eye as I walked back over to the door, and I ignored it, setting my hand on the knob.

But I couldn't bring myself to turn it.

Hajime-sensei was silent, and when my hand fell away to my side and I turned my head to meet his gaze, I saw that he was still watching me, this time with arms folded. Suddenly the words were falling off my tongue without my permission. "Why did you move me classes if you didn't want to?"

His expression remained neutral as he blinked and tilted his head to watch the sky. For a moment he said nothing, and I wondered what it was he had been doing out here before I'd interrupted him. Just when I thought I wasn't going to get an answer, Hajime-sensei spoke. "That class was holding you back."

"How could you know that? I mean, it's not like you ever let me spar." A bit of frustration bled into my tone, and maybe even a teensy bit of accusation. Hajime-sensei didn't seem to have anything to say to that, so I added, "If you're the one holding me back, don't go putting the blame on the class. We both know you didn't want me in a more advanced class, so why don't you just say it already?"

"I did not like putting you in a more advanced class." He said it easily, which only served to irritate me, because really, I _had_ asked. I opened my mouth to snap a retort when he beat me to the punch. "I don't think you're ready or deserving of it. Your understanding of the principles is minimal, your appreciation for it lacking, and you seem to have no respect for the art at all."

"Then why move me?" I snapped.

"Because your presence is hindering my other students." Hajime-sensei stated bluntly. "You do more harm than good in that class, and when the students look at you, they see someone they can't beat. They see a girl that thinks she can play by her own rules and has proved herself better than those that dedicate themselves to following the way of aikido."

Something in me grew cold as his words echoed in my head.

As hard as I tried, I could not keep a blank face and my expression hardened, voice quietly seething as I replied. "Don't talk like you know me, do not think for even a moment that you have any idea about me. It must be unimaginably easy for a man like you to preach about love and forgiveness and peace; who would ever be stupid enough to pick a fight with you?

"This may come as a surprise to you, Hajime-sensei, but that sense of security you get to live with isn't something we can all achieve. It's a nice concept, wanting to teach a peaceful, nonresistant way of life where love conquers all, but only in theory. Maybe I don't have the right amount of respect for aikido, but has it ever occurred to you once, just _once_ that maybe there was a reason? That maybe, unlike the rest of you people I don't have the _privilege_ of hesitating, or pulling my punches, or taking it easy?"

Hajime-sensei had turned his gaze from the sky, and I could see that I certainly held his full attention now. He didn't make to speak though, which was good because I was far too angry and not nearly finished. "Not everyone gets to choose the path of nonresistance, forgiveness, and love. The world is a cruel place; sometimes, it makes the choice for us, and no amount of guidance or love can save you from it. I am doing everything I can to make it though this life, and whether anyone understands or not doesn't matter, because it's do or die for me either way. So if you can't swallow that, if you continue to have a problem with me, then I will find a different teacher."

Hajime-sensei watched me intently, and it was possible he might have had something to say in response, but in that moment my anger dimmed, leaving me cold and tired. I decided then that I was done, I didn't care what he had to say, because he could never understand, could never comprehend the fear I felt or the danger I was in.

I walked back into the building, changed, and left through the front door.

There was nothing left to say, because I was no longer his problem.

* * *

I didn't go to Naru's group outing on Friday.

I spent the rest of the week drifting through school and work, unable to shake the cloud over my head. Hajime-sensei… he had touched a nerve, and since then I hadn't returned to the dojo, had no intention to. My time there had come to an end it seemed, and over the next few days I tried to work my way through this bump in the road. I needed a new teacher, a new place to learn and practice my self-defense, and that alone was going to be a pain to do. It was clear to me now that I couldn't return to aikido, no matter how I felt about it, because eventually I'd just run into the same problem.

This meant that the progress I'd been making, the months of commitment, had been for nothing.

Now I had to learn an entirely different form of martial arts, which pushed back my schedule and all but fucked it completely. I would have been ready by February, would have had enough money and an adequate chance of making my way in the world without having to worry about being abducted into sex slavery or getting assaulted and robbed. I could take care of myself relatively well at the moment, but here I had a safety net; the police weren't looking for me, I was near people I could trust, and most importantly, I had time to better my odds.

When I left, I would be entirely on my own so I _had_ to be enough to protect myself.

God knew no one else was going to.

During Saturday and Sunday, when I wasn't working, I was researching other forms of martial arts and what dojos were in the area. I visited a few, talked to the owners, but nothing really stood out to me and my investigation proved fruitless. Then again, I hadn't exactly given my full focus or absolute effort into looking either; part of me just couldn't seem to find the energy, too caught up in the shitty week I'd had. It felt like every time I found something to look forward to, the universe decided to rip that miniscule contentment from me and then kick me while I was down.

I find a form of marital art that I like, and Naru goes into a coma. I get a good job, and the Sailor Scouts move into my class. Naru wakes up, and two more of them appear. I make progress in aikido, things start looking up just the teensiest bit, and then aikido is taken from me as well; I missed the days where avoiding Mamoru was my biggest problem. It bothered me that Hajime-sensei had been able to get under my skin so easily, and that even five days later I hadn't managed to shake it. I had known from the start that no one would ever understand why I was the way I was, and that I would never be able to explain it to them.

So why hadn't I gotten over it yet?

That was the question that plagued me as I made my way to school on Monday morning. I was in a daze of my own circling thoughts, so unaware of reality that I didn't even notice when Jupiter appeared and began walking alongside me to class. It was only when she set a palm to my shoulder that I realized there was someone next to me and reacted accordingly; jumping about a foot in the air and letting out a squeak.

Jupiter let go and put her arms up as though to show her harmless intentions. With an apologetic expression, she said, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to startle you."

I scrutinized her for a moment. "How long have you been there?"

"Er, about five minutes?" Seven inches on me and I hadn't noticed the girl at all. I wasn't sure whether to be astounded, impressed, or alarmed, so I settled for a combination of the three. I resisted a sigh and began walking again, now with an unwanted guest at my side. From the corner of my eye I caught Jupiter fidgeting a bit with her school bag. Neither of us spoke for a minute and I was more than happy to continue with the silence. Unfortunately for me, Jupiter had other plans. "So, Usagi-chan, how was your weekend? Did you do anything fun?"

"Not really, no."

"Ah, that's a shame." Jupiter leaned forward slightly, peering closer to catch my eye. "You know, we all had a lot of fun on Friday, but I bet it would have been even better if you'd been there too. You should come next time." I shrugged in response, wanting to drop the conversation entirely and yet Jupiter continued. "Oh! I almost forgot to tell you, I ran into Matsuo-kun yesterday."

I stumbled, and Jupiter caught me by the arm before I could face plant onto the ground. When she let go, we kept moving and now she had my undivided attention. "You ran into him yesterday?"

"Yeah," Her voice took on a dreamy quality, and a faint blush rose to her cheeks. "it was in the morning, and we ended up going for breakfast together. He's really sweet, you know? Nothing at all like my last boyfriend, which is funny actually; see most boys usually remind me of him, but somehow Matsuo-kun just doesn't."

My god, she could go on and on, couldn't she? "Is there a point to this conversation?"

"Hm? Oh, right. Anyway, we ran into each other and decided to get something to eat, and we sort of just got talking." Jupiter smiled, but it was brief and grew smaller and smaller as she went on. "Actually, well, we got on the subject of you at some point."

I nearly paused at this, but forced myself to keep walking. It had been an emotional week, and the thought of Matsuo talking to _Jupiter_ of all people about me brought on a wave of emotions I could not deal with at the moment. I shoved them down and gestured for her to continue.

"It's just that Matsuo-kun is very worried about you." Jupiter wrung her hands together. "We both are, really, and I know that sometimes people don't want to talk about the things that are bothering them; but if you do want to talk, and it isn't something you want to do with a boy, then I wouldn't mind listening. Like you said before, us girls have to stick together, right?"

That rendered me speechless, and this time I did pause.

It was… unexpectedly kind of her, to offer that to me. The slight sense of betrayal at Matsuo withered at the fact that he had been concerned enough to talk to Jupiter, even if I didn't like it. I was still upset with him to be sure, but it was just so _him_. I hadn't talked to Matsuo about it, and while he had known something was wrong, he hadn't pressed me on it. Instead, he'd stuck by my side, making conversation and doing silly things to get me to laugh and for that I was grateful. He really was too much sometimes, and somehow I found myself both glad and unbearably sad to have had met him.

I opened my mouth to say something when another voce rang out. "Usagi-chan!"

Together, Jupiter and I turned, catching sight of Naru not too far behind us. She grinned and waved happily, and I returned the greeting only half-heartedly, too focused on the girls at either side of her. We waited for the three of them to catch up with us, and had I not been watching I would have missed it. Ten feet away, Venus and Mars gave Jupiter a _look_ , one that was far too full of acknowledgement for a girl they hardly knew. I flicked my gaze over to her fast enough to see her return it, and that was when everything clicked.

Jupiter had been awakened.

I didn't get time to process this information before Naru was prancing to my right, linking arms with me, and pulling us forward. The Sailor Scouts followed, only slightly behind, and it sent a chill up my spine, having to walk with my back to the three of them. But then Naru began chatting at the speed of light, and I was forced to split my attention. I nodded along as she recounted her Friday night, telling me how much I missed and that I'd better be there next time. More students appeared on the path the closer we grew to the school. When the gates finally came into sight, I was relieved; I just wanted this walk to be over.

Naru was still speaking and just as we passed through the gates, something peculiar happened.

I began to feel light headed, my heartrate increased, and my legs started feeling heavy as lead. Suddenly, it was like I couldn't get quite enough air in my lungs, and Naru gave me a look as I began to sway. I didn't remember falling, but between one blink and the next I went from walking to being on my knees. My heart began to hurt, and I pressed my hands against it in an attempt to ease the pain though it did no good. Naru was calling my name, her hand on my arm, and I sensed people surrounding us but it was all dull in comparison to the pain.

One of the administrators was crouched down beside me, saying words I couldn't make out. He said something to someone else, Naru was pulled away and just as quickly as the pain came it was gone. I blinked furiously, out of sorts and tried to get my heartrate back to normal. The air returned to me slowly, and still gasping for breath, I glanced up at the crowd that had formed. When I met Naru's alarmed gaze, my stomach turned and I had to look away. A headache formed at the base of my skull as the administrator helped me up and began guiding me into the school building.

I shivered at the thought of Naru's touch.

* * *

I slept the school day away in the nurse's office.

After begging for the nurse to not call the Tsukino residence, she settled on writing a letter about the affair; a letter that they would never receive if I had anything to say about it. I had convinced the nurse that my… incident had been nothing more than a simple fainting spell, brought on from lack of food and sleep. I told her I'd just been under stress to do better in school, and that I'd clearly overworked myself. Still, rules were rules, and she was bound by law to inform my guardians of the matter.

I'd only ever say this once, but thank god for 1992 and its lack of modern technology.

It took hours for the tremor in my hands to cease, and for me to regain my strength but by the end of the school day I was more or less back to normal save for the headache. Serenity's friends visited during lunch with the sailor scouts tagging along, but they weren't able to interrogate me with the nurse present and eventually they were shooed away so that I could get some more rest in. Jupiter had a look about her that I did not like one bit, but when she left the thought went with her.

For the first time in forever, I slept like a baby.

I woke about fifteen minutes before the last bell, gathered my things, and made a beeline for the exit when the bell rang. I was in no mood to deal with anyone at the moment, all I wanted was to get out of here, do some thinking and go to work. Regrettably, it seems that I really should have been worried over Jupiter, because when I slipped out of the school, she was waiting for me at the gate, and what was worse, she wasn't alone. Matsuo stood at the gate, arms crossed and expression tight, and under his withering gaze I lumbered over to them.

"I'll see you around." Jupiter said, leaving the two of us.

"Let's walk." Matsuo wasn't asking. He stepped away from the school and I followed obediently. He led us down the street in silence, hands in his pockets, and not once did he look my way. It made me understandably nervous, because anger was not something that came easily to Matsuo, and I certainly wasn't eager to be on the receiving end of his wrath. We walked for a good while, neither speaking and it only served to raise my stress levels; I couldn't believe that Jupiter had gone and told him what had happened this morning.

How had she even known where to find him?

I mulled over it as Matsuo brought us into an empty park. We went further in, towards the other side and kept going until he finally stopped, pointed to a bench and ordered for me to sit.

I sat.

Then I watched as he paced back and forth, perhaps trying to gather his thoughts into a solid argument. During one of his turns Matsuo made the mistake of meeting my gaze; he paused, pressed his lips together, sighed, and then sat down on the bench next to me. After running a hand through his hair, he looked at me and said, "I need you to be honest with me, Usagi-chan."

There was something despairing about his eyes as Matsuo stared at me, and when I nodded it was in genuine agreement. I'd tell him anything he wanted to know if it would take that look out of his gaze, anything to put that cheerful disposition back where it belonged. That was the problem with Matsuo, he was rarely so serious, and rarely ever asked anything of me so when he did, I was never able to resist him.

Matsuo swallowed. "Do you feel safe and welcomed at home?"

The question caught me off guard, and my brows furrowed in confusion. It wasn't where I had expected the conversation to go, but I'd promised to be honest and answer him so after giving the question some thought, that's what I did. "No."

I never really felt safe or welcomed anywhere except at the Fabler and the dojo, though I supposed I couldn't really count the dojo anymore. Matsuo's expression shifted ever so slightly, but before I could make sense of it he was back in control. He pressed forward onto the next question. "Do your parents know about your aikido lessons or your job?"

"No."

"Does anyone at your school know?"

"I don't feel safe at school." The words came out before I had the chance to register them. Matsuo was beginning to look rather grim, but it was the truth. I did not feel safe anywhere near the Sailor Scouts, in fact I felt more and more agitated as they continued to take over my territory. Maybe I didn't like the school all that much, but that didn't mean I was willing to give it up to anyone else either.

"Usagi-chan…" Matsuo shifted forward, leaning his elbows on his knees. I could feel a pit forming in my stomach, somehow knowing that from his expression, I probably didn't want to hear what he said next. The choice was not up to me though, and even if I wanted to, I didn't think I could stand up right now and leave; I couldn't walk away, not from him. I stared blankly as Matsuo said what was on his mind. "Usagi-chan, are you planning on leaving town at any point?"

He was too smart for his own good.

As we looked at one another the words got caught in my throat. I choked, unable to get anything out and in the end it hardly matter because my silence was telling enough. There were no excuses, no circumventing the truth here, and that was okay; I had no intention of lying to him. Matsuo was my best friend, and I didn't want to leave him when I went. The thought of our inevitable goodbye, of leaving and never seeing him again, never laughing with him again, was too painful, and more than anything I…

I didn't want to be alone.

Finally, I knew what I wanted to say; when I left, I wanted him to come with me. It was selfish, so unbelievably selfish of me, but I wanted it. Even if it meant he left everything behind, and got into trouble with me, I wanted him to come, and I'd wait; I would wait for him to finish high school, because in the grand scheme of things what did a few more months matter if it meant he could still have a career? We could go as far away from Tokyo as possible, he could go to college and we could start a new life.

With the police so busy, they wouldn't have time to track down a runaway girl. They wouldn't have the resources to come after me, and hardly anyone even knew of my connection to Matsuo, let alone who he even was. If I left a note to the Tsukinos, assured them that I was leaving of my own free will to follow my dreams or whatever, would they even press the police to hunt me down? They would be worried, but they'd have no leads, no idea where to even start looking and it wasn't likely that the police would have their hands free any time soon to be of much help.

We could get away with it.

I moved to tell him this, to ask him to come with me but Matsuo spoke, beating me to the punch.

"Don't go." He blurted out. "Don't leave. I know things are difficult for you right now, and that running seems like the only option but it isn't. My home life wasn't all that great either, you know that. I have an apartment all to myself, and I pay for it by myself so you could come live with me, okay? Just… don't go. Don't walk away someday and not come back, because I'll never forgive you, and I'll… I'll go date every girl at your school in retaliation. So don't do that to me, alright?"

There were tears in my eyes, and I pushed them back as I nodded.

"Promise me." He demanded.

"I promise." I answered, and then huffed a laugh. "But I will strangle you if you get any closer to my schoolmates."

Matsuo sniffled and leaned back into the bench. "Makoto-chan is really cute though."

The two of us laughed, and I leaned my head in his shoulder. "High school girls are cute, go date one of them."

He hummed in reply, but dropped the subject.

We sat in silence for a while, both lost in our own thoughts. It wasn't a perfect solution by any means, and I didn't have all the answers as to how we would make this work but that was fine; we'd figure it out along the way. No matter what, I didn't plan on staying in Tokyo, but Matsuo didn't need to hear that right away. The only difference was that now I was determined to take him with me, and I could do it, too; all I needed to do was convince him of the danger in this city, and it wasn't as though that would be a difficult argument to prove with all the attacks going on.

One thing at a time though.

First I had to figure out a way to permanently vacate the Tsukino Residence without causing any serious damage. It was going to be an issue, so I'd have to work on that for now because I didn't have an answer yet. After that, I would focus my efforts on getting the two of us far away from here. I sighed up at the darkening sky, staring up at it until something occurred to me.

"Shit." I jumped to my feet and turned to Matsuo. "We're so late for work, Harumi is going to kill us dead. What are you sitting there for? Let's go!"

"Wait wait wait." Matsuo replied, pulling me back onto the bench. "We aren't going to work today, I already spoke with Harumi about it."

"What do you mean we aren't going? I have money to make and a reputation to keep, you simple-minded boy. Of course we're going to work."

Matsuo gave me a smug look. "Harumi knows you fainted at school, Usagi-chan. I wouldn't be so eager to see him if I were you."

I stilled. "You traitor."

Harumi was going to chew me out next time he laid eyes on me. Matsuo stood and shrugged carelessly, dodging the kick I sent his way. He stretched, gathered our bags, and waited for me. I scrunched my nose but got up all the same, and we began the walk back. I was wondering whether he expected me to go back to the Tsukino residence tonight when a chill went through me. I froze, breath caught in my throat and Matsuo turned to me in question. I put a hand up to stop him and tilted my head, listening.

The park we were in was full of greenery; trees, bushes, grass, the whole nine yards. That meant wildlife, birds and crickets and other animals that should have been going about their usual routines.

It was dead silent.

"We have to go. Now." I grabbed Matsuo by the wrist and started walking quickly onto the path that had brought us here.

He was in the middle of asking me what was wrong when a loud crack sounded. It was the kind that vibrated through the ground, and as one we could do nothing but turn toward the sound. But then it was coming from the opposite direct, another booming crack, and as Matsuo whipped his head in that direction, I saw it. One of the large trees adorning the side of the path moved; behind it I thought I saw glowing eyes, but then I could no longer focus on them, because with a groan the tree started falling.

The tree was falling, and we were in it's path.

It was instinctual, the way I reached out to Matsuo.

Only he was already shoving us away, and we landed in a heap as the tree landed to our left, and another one crashed on top of it. Another crack sounded, then two more, and we were scrambling away, fast but not fast enough as trees began to go down again and again. Another crack, and this time I saw the trunk coming down on us, huge and at a pace we wouldn't have the time to match. Matsuo was too far to reach at this point, because we'd been running for our lives and with the trees coming down we had scattered, narrowly avoiding branches. But we couldn't avoid this one, not as we were. I turned to him as it came down on us, but suddenly all I could see was black.

I felt the vibration of the tree coming down.

Only it never made contact with me.

Black turned to blue as I came to my senses and realized I was on my back now, on the ground and not crushed to death by a tree. Breathless, I took in familiar cobalt blue eyes staring back at me behind a mask. Mamoru hovered over me, arms around my waist and gaze probing. My eyes went down to the tuxedo he wore, and he set a palm to my cheek, pulling my attention back to his face and said urgently, "Are you hurt?"

I shook my head no.

Then, with dread I found myself turning back to the pile of trees that had fallen.

Blood began pooling out from the last one.

Matsuo was still under it.

* * *

A/N

I'm so unfair leaving it there, I know.

Next chapter will be out within the week though, never fear.

So people keep asking why Usagi doesn't just switch schools, and I'm going to do myself a favor and answer here, because I get this question in my PM box or in a review at least once a day and it's impossible to get back to everyone that asks.

Why doesn't Usagi switch schools?

Well, why would she? She plans on skipping town in a handful of months, so if she doesn't intend to stay then what's the point? She'd have to research schools, talk to the Tsukino family about it, and get their approval first before anything else. That's a lot of work for a place she'd only attend for maybe a semester. The school, dojo, and work are all within reasonable walking distance for her, where as another school would cut her free time in half and force her to commute. Commuting means less time with Matsuo, less time to spar, and less time to work.

She'd also have to come up with an adequate reason for switching schools in the middle of the semester, which would mean Ikuko would end up getting involved, possibly go to Juuban municipal junior high, and Usagi would have had caused all this potential trouble without assurance that it would even work. Ikuko could say no, or cause a fuss, but even if everything went without a single hitch, Usagi would still want to leave the city and as fast as possible, so why put herself through the chaos?

She doesn't see it as a logical option.

So there is our answer. Keep an eye out for the next chapter guys!

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N

 **Warning: Gruesomeness below. Possible triggers?**

Okay I told you, you have been warned, so off we go!

Disclaimer: Yikes…

* * *

 _Mamoru P.O.V._

The Sailor Scouts had become a problem since their first appearance in Tokyo.

They saved lives where they could, and killed whatever youma they came across, so the Scouts were good for the city itself.

They just weren't good for me.

It felt that, with every passing day another competitor appeared, also searching for the Silver Crystal. The Sailor Scouts' numbers just kept increasing, and though they were the newest ones to the game, they outnumbered the rest of us four to one. Well, that wasn't quite true; they only seemed to outnumber me, in reality, because I was the only one searching for the Silver Crystal on my own. Already I'd met two different competitors from this Dark Kingdom, and while neither seemed willing to work with the other, their refusal to form an alliance did not serve to hinder either of them.

Simply because those of the Dark Kingdom had youma to work under them.

Perhaps this made my odds of finding the Silver Crystal before anyone else rather bleak, since I did not have any allies in this endeavor. More importantly, it _should_ have made my chances slim, outnumbered on all sides with half the resources of my opponents, but it didn't. I did not have the manpower at my disposal, that was true, but the thing about fighting is that you don't have to be the stronger opponent, you only had to be smarter than everyone else. When you were at a constant disadvantage, it wasn't very difficult to learn how to outsmart the competition.

After careful observation, it had been clear to see that the Dark Kingdom, with all their resources, had the best chance at finding the Silver Crystal first.

The Sailor Scouts, while not to be underestimated, did not seem to have the same drive as the rest of us, at least, not anymore. They're biggest focus was usually on keeping the civilians safe, something they did by killing youma and halting the Dark Kingdom's never ending desire for human energy. This was where things got interesting, because the Dark Kingdom seemed to have a split interest between harvesting energy and seeking out the Silver Crystal; they tried to do too much at once and that was their fatal flaw.

All I had to do was read the signs and wait.

At some point, the Sailor Scouts would pop up wherever the Dark Kingdom was doing their dirty work, they'd swoop in to save the day, and while everyone else wasted their energy fighting I'd be watching in the shadows, waiting for my chance. Fighting the Dark Kingdom for the Silver Crystal had been a pain before the Sailor Scouts arrived, because it meant that if I didn't at least try to save their victims then no one would. Now, they did the work for me, so unless the situation started to look dire I didn't intervene.

This time though, my hand had been forced.

I'd caught wind of youma activity in a park on the far side of town, and so at sunset I had entered, hid myself among the trees, and waited. The park itself was desolate, but that was how Tokyo usually was these days; when someone was attacked, people stopped visiting the place of the crime because it just wasn't worth the risk. I expected to sit in that tree for hours, until the sky had turned to night and some unfortunate fool decided to cut through the park. It was only half an hour, mere moments after the sun had disappeared from the sky, that two people showed themselves. The second they stepped into view, a very familiar sensation came over me, a sort of pull.

My interest turned to horror as I looked at the couple and recognized one of them.

Usagi.

With dread pooling in my stomach, I watched the two of them move through the park and make for one of the paths. They didn't talk, though both looked content in the silence; I noted that the boy appeared to be carrying Usagi's bag, and that she seemed a little paler than I remembered. Her nose was slightly pink, almost as though she'd been crying, and had I not already been gripping the tree in worry, I'd of taken the time to think further on it.

 _Just leave_. I thought desperately. _Walk out of this park unscathed, and don't come back._

But then Usagi seemed to slow, pausing in her movement.

Her companion stopped as well, but he didn't get the chance to speak before she gestured for him to be quiet and tilted her head. I could see it, the moment she knew they were in danger; the way her eyes widened in realization, and her spine stiffened a miniscule amount. Then Usagi grabbed the boy's hand and said "We need to leave. Now."

They moved quickly, going down the path and I found I couldn't even be relieved for it, because if Usagi had sensed something was off, enough to cause her unrest, then something was definitely wrong and I had missed it. I scanned the surroundings, trying to spot whatever it was that had kicked her into gear when a loud crack rang out. I turned my head as a second joined it, and saw that they'd made it only about ten feet in.

And that a tree was falling on them.

It was like a slow motion scene from a movie, the way Usagi's hand reached out for her companion, who was already turning back her way. I rushed in their direction, but I was too far and so I could do nothing but watch as the boy recklessly threw himself into her, knocking both of them down and just out of the falling tree's path. Immediately another tree fell onto the last, and then the park was filled with a cacophony of cracks. Usagi and her companion scrambled to their feet and flat out sprinted, dodging branches and tree trunks with every step.

They were being herded back into the park.

It only took a second for the branches and leaves to separate the two. It was then that Usagi did the worst action possible; knowing that they were not fast enough, she looked up at the next tree about to fall into her way, and she faltered. I could see it as her big blue eyes, filled with fear, went from the tree to where the boy was obscured by the branches and leaves. She knew that they weren't going to make it, and it was that look that did something to me.

It was hard to rationalize how I did what I did next.

My speed increased, and I all but flew to her side, took her by the waist, and _pushed_ off the ground. We took on air before hitting the ground and rolling to a stop a good twelve feet from the path and the last tree. In the span of a second three things stood out to me as we halted; firstly, the Sailor Scouts had arrived, secondly, the youma had shown itself, and finally, Usagi was far too still. I made eye contact with Sailor Venus for the briefest of seconds before turning my gaze downward to the girl in my arms.

I pushed up with my elbows off the ground, hovering over her and it took a moment for Usagi's eyes to focus on my face. Then, ever so slowly her gaze traveled down, and I cupped her cheek, scrutinizing her for injuries; the daze could easily be from nearly dying or hitting her head. When she finally met my gaze, I asked her if she was hurt and she shook her head no. My shoulders relaxed, and though I knew this wasn't a safe place to be loitering in, I couldn't bring myself to let go.

In fact, I shouldn't let go.

I needed to get her away from here, the Sailor Scouts could deal with the youma just fine, and if this was a harvesting attack and not another attempt at finding the Silver Crystal, then I wasn't missing anything anyway. I had just decided to take Usagi and run off into the night when she made a choking noise; I focused back on her, but she wasn't looking my way. Her gaze was on the fallen trees, and… the blood spilling out underneath them.

I'd forgotten the boy.

Usagi moved out of my arms and stood, walking over to the boy silently and with a singlemindedness; the guilt weighed in as she fell to her knees at his side. There hadn't been time to save both of them though… and when it had come down to it the choice hadn't even been a conscious one, my feet had moved of their own accord.

Usagi's hands went out a though to touch him, shaking uncontrollably.

She let out a bloodcurdling shriek.

* * *

The tree had pinned him at the spine.

Blood seeped out from under him, staining the ground and my knees.

"Oh god, Matsuo, god, no no no." I sprang to my feet, faint and sick, all but throwing myself at the tree. I wrapped my arms around the trunk, shoes digging into the ground as I lifted, but it wouldn't move, wouldn't even budge. Tears obscured my vision, trailing down my face but I didn't wipe them, couldn't make myself let go of the trunk to do so. I kept lifting, shoulders shaking with sobs, because there was nothing else I could do, Matsuo was trapped, he was hurt and I needed to help him.

A bone chilling laugh pierced through the air, and I froze.

I didn't want to look, but like the prey I was, instinct would not allow me to keep my back exposed to the predator. Slowly, unwillingly, my trembling body turned and as I faced the creature, the atmosphere thickened. I choked upon meeting the glowing red gaze, air leaving my lungs entirely, and yet I couldn't stop looking. Elongated limbs, sallow skin, too wide smile presenting sharp teeth; it was so distinctly unhuman, so unlike the things that stalked my dreams and somehow, it was so much worse. I watched as its hungry eyes trailed down from me to Matsuo.

With a high, screechy voice, the monster said, "Oh, the poor thing was too slow. Humans really are so breakable, it's a shame. If only that one had been a little bit faster… but well, mistakes do happen. Queen Beryl will understand, so long as I make up for this blunder."

I could not stand to keep looking, and so as my mind blocked out its words, my gaze drifted sideways, landing on the Sailor Scouts. I blinked, having not expected to see them and there was a brief moment where I wondered if they were really there at all. Venus looked horrified to see me here, gaze darting between myself, Mamoru, and the monster and the other girls appeared equally shocked but it was Jupiter that caught my eye. Her eyes were wide and almost unseeing, gaze trained behind me; she didn't move though, none of them did.

Moving carelessly under the eye of a predator would get you killed, and make no mistake, this monster was a predator. Outnumbered on all sides and it had _laughed._

I turned back to the tree, back to Matsuo's crumbled form beneath it. I had to get him out, we needed to go before this thing killed us. I took in a shaky breath as the sound of fighting broke out behind me, the ground rumbling with attacks, and I tried to focus on only what was in front of me as the air seeped with this _intent_ , suffocating with the heat of battle. A hand touched my shoulder and I jumped, spotting Jupiter at my side. She looked pale, jaw clenched and eyes wide as she stared at the two of us.

"Usagi-chan." Jupiter addressed me, voice uneven. "I, I'm going to lift this tree, okay? And when I do, I need you to pull Matsuo-kun out from underneath it. Can you do that?"

She was going to help me.

I nodded, unable to form words.

"Get ready then." She said, and I scrambled out of her way, getting on my knees and hooking my arms under Matsuo's armpits. Just as I took ahold of him, a beam of golden light hit the tree on the other side of Jupiter, cutting it right in half, and then Jupiter was lifting with everything she had. She let out a frustrated roar, and the tree moved; no more than a few inches but it was enough. There wasn't time to think about whether moving him would cause more damage, the thought was only a distant whisper in my mind and drowned out by the desperation to free him.

I pushed back on the ground with my feet, using strength I didn't know I had to pull Matsuo clear from the tree, leaving a trail of blood in our wake and then we were safe and the trunk was falling heavily into the now empty space, no more than a few feet from us.

I hardly noticed Jupiter as she knelt at our side, or the cats that joined her, or the slick, warm blood that started covering my lower half. In that moment the only thing that mattered was Matsuo, eyes closed and cradled face down in my lap. My fingertips went to his neck, pressing to feel for a pulse because he had to be breathing, he just had to be. After a dreadful amount of time, I found it; faint, oh so faint, but it was there. A sound escaped me, half laugh half cry, and I ran a hand through his hair. Then my gaze traveled further down, to his back, and my breath caught.

I clasped a hand to my mouth and tore my gaze away, gagging.

His spine…

I turned to Jupiter but she was gone, and only the cats remained, watching me sorrowfully.

"We need to call him an ambulance." I choked out. "He- He needs to go to the hospital, he needs a doctor, please." But neither moved, they just continued to stare as I babbled on. "It'll be okay, we just need to get him to a doctor, he'll be fine. Please, _please go find help_."

Luna stepped closer and sat, tail curling around her form. "I'm so sorry, Tsukino-san."

I shook my head, slowly and then more violently. "Don't just sit there!"

 _She's wrong, she's wrong, he'll be fine, it'll be okay if-_

A screech that sounded like laughter filled the air as the ground shook and I flinched. Artemis was tense, now watching the battle and Luna split her attention between it and me; I couldn't look though, the very thought made my stomach turn. The fighting, the laughter, it was all jarring, settling me back into a reality I did not want and suddenly everything felt so _real_. The rumbling ground, the tension in the air, Matsuo's fading pulse, all at once they hit me and it was like seeing clearly for the first time, forcing me to look at both him and the facts.

Matsuo's spine was sitting at an odd angle; there was bone peeking out from the skin, and his legs, his knees… the bones had to be shattered. I had gotten Matsuo out from under that tree, but he couldn't run like this, he couldn't get away from the battle. My body shook with tremors, I was terrified out of my mind and I wanted nothing more than to run for my life; Matsuo couldn't move though, and I could not abandon him, leave him here to die at the hands of that thing. Even if, by some miracle I managed to get him to a hospital in time, Matsuo was never going to walk again.

There was no running from this nightmare, not for us.

If we survived this, he was never going to practice aikido again, or wait tables at the Fabler; Matsuo was never going to surprise me at school, or walk the whole neighborhood while I vented about one thing or another, and I was never going to get to chase him down a street when he dodged one of my punches. From the sounds of the battle and the cats' reactions, it probably didn't matter anyway; it seemed that, despite their numbers the fight was not going well for the Sailor Scouts. I felt corners of my lips curling up at this, because for some reason that was hilarious.

Sailor Moon would have been able to kill it.

Serenity… what were any of them without her? None of this would have ever happened if she had been the one to win our battle. Not even six months into this body and I had thrown Tokyo into chaos; putting Naru and her mother into a coma, bringing in the Sailor Scouts to fight the war before they were even ready, sending the city into a panic for my own selfish purposes. And now, to top it all off, I was about to get my best friend killed because god knows he never would have entered this park on this day had the Moon Princess been the victor.

This world was not meant to succeed without Serenity.

There was another scream, this time human and it was painful enough to tear my gaze from Matsuo. Mars and Mercury were on their knees, the former bleeding heavily from a wound to the shoulder. Mercury stared at her in alarm, hand out and hovering but not quite touching the girl and though Mars had tears in her eyes, she looked fierce all the same. A little ways off Jupiter was upright only by the support of Mamoru, and Venus stood at the head of their group, seemingly the only one standing by the grace of her own two feet.

They were all panting, bloody and dirty but Venus wasn't close to being defeated; she wiped at her face, baring her teeth at the enemy and it was then that I noticed the monster was no longer alone. With it stood a man, watching on smugly and wearing an outfit that could only be some kind of military uniform. Looking at him, it dawned on me then, the reason the monster had acted with such ease despite its unfavorable odds; it had never been alone in the first place, we'd only thought it was.

The man stood tall, not even winded in the slightest.

I studied him, trying to come up with his name but it was lost on me, and with the outcome of this battle becoming more evident by the second, I came to the conclusion that it didn't matter and looked away once more. Face with the reality of my situation, the fear coursing through me had begun to fade and in its place I found a haunting emptiness. The Sailor Scouts, Mamoru, if they fled now then they had a decent chance of survival; not everyone was guaranteed to make it, but their odds were good and had I been in their shoes it's what I would do.

My hand drifted back to Matsuo's hair, fingers running through it idly.

The rest of them were so stupid, fighting when they could live to see another day. I would have abandoned this fight and them long before now; after all, what was one loss if it meant you could go on to wage another win? These people just didn't know how to pick their battles, and if I had been capable of feeling anything in this moment, it probably would have been disgust. They were wasting an opportunity that Matsuo and I did not have the luxury of receiving. This wasn't even our fight, it had nothing to do with us and everything to do with Serenity. Now, because I had chosen to live, we were being punished and Matsuo was paying the price.

I would give anything to take it all back.

I would do anything to go back to that day, to that battle with Serenity for the rights to this body and let her win. Anything to give Matsuo a second chance, to save him from this nightmare, this suffering. Even if I had lost and he'd still found his way to this park on this day, it would be okay because Serenity would know what to do. She would show up with a flashy catch phrase, give a big speech and defeat the enemy because for serenity, love truly does conquer all; she only needed to have faith, and the universe would give her everything she needed to come out victorious.

Serenity was supposed to be Sailor Moon, and she would have been great at it, she had comrades to rely on and someone to catch her when she fell. Serenity wasn't here to save the day though, and that's when it really began to sink in for me. No one was coming to save us, and it was a slap to the face.

I'd always known, from the very beginning that I was on my own here.

There would be no prince in shining armor to swoop in to the rescue, and no one was going to save me should worst come to worst. I had always known that but this was different, it was _Matsuo;_ sweet, kind Matsuo and if anyone on this god forsaken planet deserved to be saved, it was him so it had never occurred to me that this might not be the case. Part of me had always thought that if he ever did find this sort of trouble that surely, _surely_ someone would save him.

Only, no one was coming.

 _Matsuo is going to die here,_ I thought with gut wrenching realization.

My tears dried up then, and I found my gaze wandering to Luna.

Serenity could fix this mess right up, and it would be a piece of cake with the universe always on her side. Serenity was gone though; the Moon Kingdom, Tokyo, they didn't have a Moon Princess or a warrior with a heart of gold to save them from this darkness. Serenity could fix everything, but she didn't exist and in her absence there was only one other person that stood a chance against the mess I had created. Sailor Moon could do more than kill a monster or two, she could heal the Sailor Scouts, and, more importantly, she could heal Matsuo.

She could save him.

"Luna." I murmured, getting not only her attention, but Artemis' as well as the two turned from the fight to face me with similar expressions of surprise. That was right, they'd never introduced themselves; it was a slip on my part, but one that ultimately did not matter.

 _This wasn't my battle._

"How do you know my name?" She asked suspiciously.

 _I wasn't a warrior of love and justice._

"Because," I laid my friend on the ground and stood, smile bleak. "I'm a descendant of the Moon Kingdom. I'm the Guardian of the Moon."

 _But I would do anything to save Matsuo._

Luna stilled, eyes roaming over my figure and it was like she was just now seeing me. Her eyes lit up and she spoke the next words breathlessly, in awe and near disbelief. "Sailor Moon… You're…"

 _If I had to throw my life away, then so be it._

"Luna, give it to me." And she obeyed, summoning a golden brooch that I caught in my open hand. I walked backward a few steps to give myself some room and held the brooch up to the full moon.

 _Even if it meant walking straight into hell, I was going to save him._

Under the night sky, surrounded by my enemies, I said the words that haunted my dreams and would now seal my fate.

"Moon Prism Power, Make up."

* * *

 _It was down to just her against Jadeite and his youma._

 _The other Sailor Scouts were worn out, Mars had taken a bad hit to the shoulder, Mercury was low on strength, and had Tuxedo Mask not shielded Jupiter, they would have been permanently down one Scout. Venus was the only one left that could still properly fight, so she would just have to finish this on her own. If only they'd been able to flee and fight another day; if only Usagi-san hadn't gotten caught up in this. Venus couldn't spare a glance at the girl, but she knew what she'd find without having to look, and the guilt pressed down on her._

 _Venus hadn't been all that fond of her, at first._

 _Usagi-san had kept getting in the way of her duties, something Venus did not take lightly, but it had been understandable; she cared for her friend, and that was definitely something Venus could respect. Usagi-san could be blunt and distant, but the Moon Princess cared for her dearly, and… while it was buried deep down and almost impossible to notice, Venus could see that Usagi-san was kind. She had a way of soothing things over when one of the Scouts went too far in their duties and ended up earning the princess's ire._

 _So Usagi-san, while prickly, wasn't all that bad._

 _She didn't deserve to be on the ground, covered in her dead friend's blood with his body still and growing cold in her lap. Venus was the leader of the Sailor Scouts, she was supposed to be able to prevent these types of things from happening. She should have been here earlier, and this was partially her fault because had she not been so caught up in the princess, Venus would have paid more attention to her other duties. She would've seen the signs and stopped this tragedy before Usagi-san ended up the victim._

 _It was too late for that now though._

 _Venus knew the girl wasn't going to leave her friend to find safety, so the Sailor Scouts had no choice but to fight; they could not leave an innocent person behind trying to save themselves. Venus couldn't help Usagi-san's friend or ease her suffering, but… she could save her life. The odds were against them, and it was looking grim for the Sailor Scouts, but she wasn't about to let it end like this. She would fight until her dying breath to give not just Usagi-san, but the rest of the Scouts whatever time she could buy them._

 _Even as a treacherous voice in her head whispered that it wouldn't be enough; that if the Sailor Scouts died here for one girl, there would be no one left to protect the princess. Venus reasoned with the voice, that she could run and continue her duties, but that if she had to abandon someone in order to do so, then she wasn't fit to serve. It was what separated the Sailor Scouts from the enemy, their morals, and above all else Venus could not go against hers._

 _It was scary, but… Someone had to stand tall against the Dark Kingdom._

 _Someone needed to be the pillar this world could rely on._

 _Venus didn't want to die here, didn't want to be the brave one, but for the Scouts, for the princess, she would do what had to be done. If she could not win this war with her morals intact, then what kind of victory was it really, and why would they deserve it?_

 _Jadeite started to enact his next attack when a bright, white light appeared out of nowhere. Venus looked to her left, at the source of the light and saw a figure transforming. The light itself was breathtaking, almost as though the full moon shined solely on the person themselves. It was then that she realized Usagi-san was missing, and as the transformation ended Venus had a sudden inkling of what she would see; yet as her eyes confirmed what she suspected Venus somehow found herself stunned all the same._

 _Usagi-san had transformed._

 _She was the illusive Sailor Moon they had all but given up on finding. As Venus watched, something strange seemed to happen to the girl's uniform only moments after her transformation, the colors faded and changed; gold turned to dark steel reminiscent of charcoal, bright red deepened, darkening to a blood or wine-like shade. Blue darkened to midnight, nearly black, and witnessing it was a surreal experience, haunting and awe inspiring all the same._

 _Tears gathered at the corner of her eyes as Venus took in Sailor Moon._

 _It was going to be okay._

 _They were saved._

* * *

It was like breathing for the first time.

A rush of adrenaline coursing through my arms and legs, spreading to my brain and making me almost dizzy with delirium. I only needed a heartbeat to come to my senses, though it was difficult to not bask in the sensation; it was like stretching all the right muscles, running just long enough to feel on top of the world. The emptiness was gone, and though the fear remained, as I looked at the man from the darkness and the monster responsible for nearly killing my best friend, that fear became overpowered by another animalistic emotion.

I was enraged.

Before anyone could say a single word, before they had time to breath or even _blink_ , I pounced on the creature. Countless hours and days and weeks spent planning, circumventing, constantly looking over my shoulder; all that effort had been for nothing. Months of fear, paranoia, resentment, and anger finally spilled over, and I was no longer the prey here; now I was the predator, and I was out for blood. It was satisfying, the sound of bones snapping as I twisted the monster's wrists and ripped the joints in its shoulders.

It screamed, musical and sweet to my ears but I wasn't nearly finished.

I threw the monster over my shoulder, and when it was on its back, arms hanging uselessly at its sides and no longer much of a threat, I did not stop, didn't even pause or give an ounce of room. The thing didn't even have time to react, no one did, as I brought the sturdy heel of my boot _down_ on its face with a crunch, again and again and again until my boot was slick with brain matter and the thing beneath it no longer resembled a head at all.

It was just a messy clump, body twitching a few times before going still; after a moment, what was left dissolved into nothing, leaving naught but a stain on the ground as proof of its existence. That heavy feeling in the air, that tension, had died and I had never felt more alive. All was silent and still as I glanced up at the man and met his horrified gaze; it widened in realization as I set my sights on him, and his fingers twitched but he simply wasn't fast enough to escape my wrath. I was at his side with my fingers weaved through his golden locks in the span of a second and as he moved to retaliate, I slammed his skull against the trunk of a tree.

When he slumped to the dirt unconscious, I didn't advance in my attack.

I would not leave this battle without a prize.

He shouldn't have forced my hand like this.

I wanted to slam my fists into him, make him _beg_ for mercy and see what a grave mistake it had been to target someone I loved, to come after _me_. I inhaled deeply, and exhaled slowly, setting aside my desperate need for a release, for vengeance against not only this man, but the people he worked for. I would not allow this catastrophic night to end in my complete and utter loss, or my work to have been in vain. This man was going to make up for the trauma he had caused me, no matter what. My work was not yet done here though, and I could not indulge in anything until Matsuo was okay again.

I grabbed the man by his jacket and dragged him with me over to Matsuo.

Luna's eyes were wide as we approached, and save for the sound of my own two feet the park was dead silent. I dropped the man a few feet from Matsuo and turned to Luna. "The moon stick."

It was not a question, and under my heavy gaze Luna complied.

I caught the moon stick, but as it made contact with my hand something odd happened.

The colors on it changed.

The handle went from light pink to a dark, wine red, along with the ruby that adorned it. The crescent moon and other gold details shimmered and darkened, losing their color; the end result was a smoky, steel like gray, dark and metallic. It was faintly alarming, but the crescent moon glowed with what looked like actual moonlight, and I didn't have time to think further on it. I moved to Matsuo, raising the moon stick, and it was as though the words had always been there, just now floating to the surface.

"Moon Healing Escalation." My body moved of its own accord, arm going out and around in a large circle. What looked like star dust seemed to shimmer off the moon stick and onto Matsuo, and he began to glow. I watched with bated breath as his body began to heal like magic, and when its work was done I could see the faintest color returning to his cheeks. My shoulders relaxed, and though it pained me, I force myself to turn away from him and to Mamoru and the Scouts.

Raising the Moon Stick once more, ignoring the way they all flinched, I said the magic words, and the star dust healed their wounds. They were still my enemies, but they had actually helped and I still needed them. Everyone stared at me, and the silence weighed down on us all. Finally, Luna came to the conclusion that someone should probably say something. "Sailor Moon, we-"

"Need to speak." I interrupted her. "I know."

No one said anything, so I took that as my cue and began throwing out orders. "This man needs to be secured, and a park probably isn't the best place to have this conversation. We need to move quickly, while we have the advantage. Sailor Mars," She jumped as I addressed her. "Can I entrust this man to you?"

Mars exchanged glances with Venus, and nodded.

Apparently no one felt like opposing me at the moment, which was probably smart on their part; I was in no mood to bicker. "Restrain him, take him back to your temple and place wards to keep anything… otherworldly, out if you're capable of it."

"I can do that." She said.

Venus stepped forward. "Why the temple?"

"Where else do we have to go?" The temple wasn't that far from here, and it was probably large enough that we wouldn't be interrupted. Also it was on Sailor Scout territory, so technically they had the advantage there. I turned to Jupiter. "I can't carry Matsuo by myself; will you help me?"

Wordlessly, she moved to his side and began to lift him; I scrambled over and mirrored her movement, putting his arm over my shoulders and supporting his weight to the best of my ability. It was awkward since they were both far taller than me, but I didn't let go for fear that Jupiter might drop him on her own. Glancing up, I took in the Scouts; Venus, Mercury and Mars wore odd expressions as they watched the two of us. Artemis had a more wary look about him and Luna… she couldn't seem to tear her eyes off me, she just kept staring and it was starting to make me uncomfortable.

Mamoru, no longer supporting Jupiter, had a half turned stance, as though he hadn't quite decided whether to leave or not. I should have let him go, as punishment for saving me and not Matsuo, but I didn't feel angry at him for it. Upset, yes, but not angry; it wasn't his fault we were attacked, so I couldn't really take it out on him. I also couldn't let him leave either, because there was no telling where this conversation was going to go and I needed the extra variable just in case.

"If you leave," I told him, "you'll never get to hear what I have to say. I won't give you another chance to ask me the questions bouncing around in your mind."

His lips pressed together, but Mamoru didn't leave.

Instead, he fully faced me and stared, and it took me a moment to realize he was waiting for my direction. "Help Mars with the prisoner. If he stirs even the slightest bit, knock him out; we can worry about concussions later."

Mamoru did as I requested, and that left me with Venus and Mercury. I was getting tired of being the only one speaking, but I made one more effort, addressing Venus. "Does that sound okay with you?"

She blinked. "I- yes. We'll reconvene at the temple. Here, get out of the way." Venus had a good four inches on me at least, and she shooed me out of the way, taking my place and supporting Matsuo's dead weight. "It'll be more efficient this way."

The group started to lumber away, and I lingered behind them, somehow at a loss. It was like the magic was lost, so to speak, as I watched the aftermath of the battle. The monster's body had vanished, and the park was a mess of fallen trees, blood, and cracked bits of earth. The Sailor Scouts had been healed, but we were all dirty, tired from the battle and there was nothing glorious or fantastical about it at all. Sore and shocked, we exited the too-quiet park and limped to our next destination.

I hardly noticed the way Mercury stuck next to me, watching like a hawk.

We had all gained a victory, and yet somehow it also felt like a loss.

* * *

We made it to the temple unnoticed.

In any other situation, I'd have been astounded by such luck.

Mars led us to a section of her home towards the back, probably as far from her grandfather as possible, and we settled into a room. Jupiter and Venus laid Matsuo out on a futon, and though he was no longer bleeding his clothes were filthy and they stained everything they touched. I found myself knelt by his head, unable to leave his side. Mars offered me a change of clothes, but I declined; I was still Sailor Moon, and… I couldn't seem to change back. I knew how to, but I just couldn't seem to let go, not yet, and that left a chill down my spine.

No one else changed back into their civilian forms, and I suspected it was because I hadn't either.

Matsuo was in the middle of the room, with me on one side and the Scouts on the other; Jupiter hovered much closer than the rest, only a few feet from us, and her gaze seemed to flicker between Matsuo and me, as though she wasn't quite sure which was more important at the moment. Mamoru leaned against the wall, warily watching everyone; our prisoner was tied up at his side and sporting multiple seal tags. I was wondering how well they worked when Venus finally broke the silence.

"How long have you known?"

Her voice was quiet, ringing out clearly in the room and I studied her; stiff posture, lips pressed together, gaze like steel. I settled for a half truth. "For a long time."

"Since we arrived?" She asked, and I nodded. Venus inhaled, closed her eyes, and murmured, "You sent me the letter, didn't you?"

There was a pause in the air. "Yes."

Mercury's brow furrowed as she eyed me. "I don't understand." With the room's confused attention on her, Mercury gave the scouts a frustrated look and elaborated. "She's been with the princess the whole time, so why send that message? Why pretend the princess was in danger if she was around? What's more, if she knew who we were, if she knew how to find you Venus, then why on earth send such a cryptic message?"

Ah, so that was it then.

They thought Naru was the Moon Princess.

How they came to that conclusion I didn't understand; maybe part of me had always suspected it though, the reason they insisted on sticking so close. I looked at Mamoru, and he was already watching me with something that felt suspiciously like sadness. "You knew I was Tuxedo Mask the day we met, huh?"

"I…" Why was it so hard to say? After nearly choking on the words, I managed to spit them out. "Yes."

"You two know each other?" Artemis questioned. His tone was unhappy, and it was then that I notice the way he and everyone else seemed to look at Mamoru; distrustful, wary, like they wished he wasn't there. Mamoru stared back in challenge, seemingly unaffected by the unfriendly attention and I took that brief moment of distraction to go over my options.

My identity as Sailor Moon had been sealed.

That didn't mean I was going to start fighting crime and teaming up with anyone though. This war was something I had no interest in involving myself in, and I still stood by that sentiment. If the Sailor Scouts thought we were about to be buddy buddy then they had another thing coming. I might have exposed myself, but that didn't mean the plan was beyond saving; I still intended to flee the city, and take Matsuo with me because it was a viable option. The only problem was that now, it was clear to me that the Sailor Scouts weren't going to be able to with this war on their own.

They needed allies, and as I considered our prisoner, I had an idea of just how to get them some.

"You're all being too hasty." I told them. I turned and addressed Luna and Artemis. "Tell me, what do you two remember about the past? When you think back, it's foggy, yes?"

"How do you know that?" Luna questioned. "How did you learn everything before the rest of us? That… shouldn't be possible. Artemis and I were sent to reawaken the Sailor Scouts memories, I was sent to find you and yet all this time, I wasn't even needed. You already knew."

She tone wasn't as even as she probably wanted, and in it I could hear some of her pain. I couldn't imagine how that would feel; to realize your sworn duty had been rendered pointless.

"I can't tell you how I came to acquire my knowledge." I shifted and stood, all eyes on me. "It doesn't particularly matter, in the long run. What matters is that I know more then all of you combined, and now that we're here, it's important that you understand something."

They all watched me, gazes intent.

I made sure to meet each gaze as I spoke, clear and firm. "You are going to lose this war if you keep on as you are now."

Mars sputtered. "What do you mean, we're going to lose? Did you conveniently black out and miss the part where you took down Jadeite and his Youma? With you on our side the Dark Kingdom doesn't stand a chance."

"That's the thing." My smile was not kind. "I'm not on your side."

The room stilled, dead silence descending upon us all. Then, through her teeth, Mars hissed. "What."

I held my head high.

"We aren't comrades. This isn't some fairy tale moment where I join up with you and we take on the world together as a team." My voice was hard, blunt, but it needed to be said, they needed to understand that I couldn't be relied on. "This war, it isn't my battle. I didn't choose this life, I got stuck with it and I'll be damned if I spend it playing hero. If you lot want to run around saving the city, protecting your precious princess, then by all means do so. But don't immediately group me in, because I have no intentions of going along with this; that's why I sent that letter, to lure you in."

I was a coward.

This time, I had defeated the monster easily, but it had been with rage and adrenaline pumping through my veins. Next time, I might freeze like I had with that tree and make a fatal mistake. Now that the battle was over, my fear had returned and it had doubled in size. I had just gone through the most traumatic experience of my life, and these people expected me to make it a regular thing; I couldn't do that again, wouldn't go through it again if I had any say in the matter. That thing had been terrifying and the thought of facing another like it had my knees trembling and my stomach twisting.

There was a reason people didn't face their fears on a daily basis.

I honestly thought I might rather die than have to breathe that thick, demonic air again, hear that shrill laugh; nausea welled in me and I forced a quiet, deep breath.

Mars had a thunderous expression. She was practically shaking with rage, fists clenched as she fumed, "You have a duty; to protect the Moon Princess and the world from the Dark Kingdom. Sailor Moon was supposed to be this-this _savior_ , the last piece to the puzzle, we looked _everywhere_ for you and this whole time… How dare you."

My gaze was apathetic, and that only served to anger her more but I wasn't going to hide how I felt. "I never asked to be put on a pedestal. Do you want to know why I went out of my way to lure you all here? Why I didn't take up the mantle of Sailor Moon and fight from the very beginning? It's because _I'm not like you_. If that had been me back there as the scout and you all as the civilians, I would have left you to die if it mean saving myself. I'm not selfless, or brave, and most of all, I am not willing to sacrifice myself for the greater good. Fuck the greater good, fuck the war, and fuck the princess."

Someone gasped, the atmosphere filled with shock, and Mars looked betrayed but I continued. "Now all of you, sit down, shut up, and let me tell you how to do your job better. Do you see this man?" I gestured to Mamoru, who looked vaguely startled. "He's literally your best chance at success, so I'd stop throwing his those looks if I were you."

"Are you joking?" Mamoru interjected, tone that of disbelief. He stepped closer to us, arms crossed and shaking his head. "I hate to disappoint you, Usagi, but the Sailor Scouts and I could never work together."

"Even though they're a part of your lost memories?" I snapped, and that seemed to shut him up. With a wave in his direction, I addressed the room at large, trying to keep the resentment out of my voice. "Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Prince Endymion of the Earth Kingdom, the Moon Princess's lover and everyone's last hope to defeating the Dark Whatever."

The Sailor Scouts looked from me to him.

Mamoru's gaze flashed over to me, his expression twisted, morphing into something that made my throat tight. He stared at me, and then quietly, heartbreakingly, said, "…You knew… you had what I've been searching for this whole time, and you kept it from me?"

It knocked the air out of my lungs, the pain in his voice. He didn't even know the half of it; I had known, and I had the Silver Crystal, and I had kept it all from him because I hadn't wanted to risk his memories returning. A knot formed in my chest, and I looked down to Matsuo, face going blank. "You are Prince Endymion, and the Sailor Scouts are your allies, not your enemy. That's not all though; there's someone else that used to work in your service, a few of them actually."

My gaze shifted to the man they had called Jadeite.

It was a longshot, but I remembered the story, or at least I thought I did. Four servants to the Earth Kingdom, brainwashed, or possessed, or corrupted by Queen Beryl. If that was the truth… if I was right, then it was entirely possible they could be brought back to the light side. Sailor Mars might be able to exorcise that evil; I might be able to fix them using the moon stick or the Silver Crystal, but those options had a fifty fifty chance of backfiring on me.

The moon stick could just end up healing his physical injuries and not touch the corruption, and the Silver Crystal would undoubtedly give him back his memories. Right now, that would not be ideal; so far, no one was getting any flashbacks and I had a huge advantage as long as it stayed that way. Sailor Moon was one thing, but being mistaken for Serenity would truly be the nail in the coffin. I would never be free if that happened, and I couldn't help but think it was only a matter of time before memories began flying back so my plan to flee needed to be enacted before that happened.

The Sailor Scouts couldn't win this war alone, but with Mamoru and his generals?

The world stood a solid chance.

"No…" Mercury spoke, and I glanced up to see her gaze had followed mine to Jadeite. "You can't mean…Surely, you don't mean him."

She seemed to be the only one thinking rationally, so I tried to appeal to her nature. "He's under a spell, but think about it Mercury. Think about how strong he is, how much trouble he's given you all, and then picture having someone like him on _your_ side. Jadeite would be valuable wouldn't he? And it isn't just him either; there are three more equally as strong, under the same spell and with inside knowledge as to how the enemy works, their weaknesses, their base of opperations."

If I was wrong, and they were genuinely evil, or the spell couldn't be broken, then they would have to go; but we didn't know yet, and I wouldn't be the one to say I wasn't certain. Mercury met my gaze, hers slightly pained but determined, and nodded.

She understood the severity of the situation.

I looked around the room, acknowledging the dark and disappointed looks.

"No one has to like it." I began, "but this is the truth before us; Tokyo is slowly falling, the enemy numbers too many to fight on your own, and that man is one of four keys to securing your victory. You don't have to work together, it's your choice, but if you choose to turn your backs on each other, the world will suffer for it. I did my part, and I will not be roped into this; whether the world rises or falls is up to you."

No one said anything, everyone lost in their own thoughts.

Mamoru was still around, so that had to count for something; he wouldn't look at me, and as I gazed at him a weight settled in my heart. There was nothing I could say though, nothing to be done about it; I had made a decision, and now that the consequences had shown themselves I didn't get to regret it or mourn. All I could do was accept it, I had hurt him and given the chance, I'd probably made the same choice again.

That was who I had become.

Maybe it was who I'd always been.

"Alright." Venus was calm, voice steady and gaze unwavering. Whether she had accepted that I wouldn't join them I couldn't say, all I knew was that in this moment, she had made a decision of her own. "Where do we begin?"

I glanced over to Mamoru; after all, we couldn't do this without him.

He seemed to sense my gaze, and with a clenched jaw, he met it and nodded.

We were all in agreement then.

This wasn't going to be easy; I could feel that none of them were done with me yet, and that they wouldn't be taking their eyes off me for a while. The questions had yet to come, and I was sure that when they did, it would not be pretty. For now, I had given them enough to occupy their minds, but it would only be a matter of time before they made their attack. I was distinctly reminded that these people were still my enemies, just the lesser evil at this moment in time; my problems were not over, not by a longshot and with the events of today, I would be doing some major damage control for the foreseeable future.

I was not looking forward to it.

* * *

A/N

I wasn't absolutely thrilled with this chapter, but after agonizing over it for the past week and missing that deadline I promised, I had to just deal with it. Definitely not my best chapter by far, but it did do its job so I guess that's sort of a win?

How did we feel about brutal Sailor Moon? I did try to keep it to a minimum despite warning you guys; for example, my earlier draft of this chapter went into far more detail about Matsuo's injury and Usagi's revenge. I thought it might be too much for you guys though, so I edited that out and toned her down a bit. Still, that's who she is so I'm hoping to slowly adjust us all to her.

Like I said before, Rabbit of the Moon is going to be a hellish combination of the manga, anime, and crystal. There's too many variations, so I'm going with a bit of everything to find some sort of realistic middle ground. Did I meet your expectations? Has this chapter horribly disappointed you all with its late post and failure to kill Matsuo? Well too bad, because I made this OC and I will tell you right now I did not put so much effort into him to just kill him off. Matsuo has a very big part to come in this story, and it would be a waste to throw him away.

Yeah, sure, his death would be a motivator, but like, have you guys even seen him with Usagi? He does so much more for her alive than dead, he's capable of bringing more depth to her moral compass. Without him, it would still exist, but he makes it more prevalent.

Still, it's always hard to know with you guys. On the bright side, we are at least seventy percent done with the dark kingdom arc, and also, surprise! Rabbit of the Moon isn't going to stop at one arc! Mind you, others will be shorter or longer, depending on their usefulness to the telling of this story; hell, some arcs aren't even going to make an appearance. Sue me.

Also, I don't know when this running gag of Usagi never saying the Dark Kingdom properly started, but I can't seem to stop it now…

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	12. Chapter 12

A/N

Do you know what the worst part about writing a chapter that everyone likes?

There's literally no way to keep those high expectations, and whatever chapter comes next will fall woefully short compared to the last.

Still, I must go on, for Matsuo's sake if nothing else.

I'd like to give a huge, heartfelt thank you to chobits15, for taking the time to make the first fan art for Rabbit of the Moon! I loved it, am incredibly flattered, and I'm going to print it out and stick it on my wall somewhere. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Disclaimer: Well, we all know how it goes.

* * *

My god damn hair grew.

I turned into Sailor Moon _once_ , one freaking time, and my hair grows out to my knees.

Unbelievable.

"Quit moving." Matsuo scolded, gently nudging my back with one of his knees.

"I'm not moving."

"Yes," He huffed, and the air caused a few strands of hair to displace on my head. "You are. Ask me how I know Usagi-chan."

"I don't really-"

"Ask me."

He wasn't going to let this go, was he?

I let out a long suffering sigh. "Please, Matsuo, tell me how you know. I'm absolutely dying with curiosity."

Jupiter laughed from where she leaned against the kitchen countertop, and I sent her a look that clearly stated _do shut up now_. Sadly, Jupiter remained unfazed in the face of my glare; that was the problem with her, unlike the rest of the Sailor Scouts she did not appear daunted by anything I threw her way. In many, many ways Jupiter was like a kicked puppy, and no matter what I said she just kept coming back. It seemed that she was the only one not completely outraged by my actions (my very existence, really), and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why.

Matsuo beamed at Jupiter's smile, momentarily distracted and I tensed up.

"Matsuo, my hair, please."

"Oh, right." He continued his trimming, snipping blonde locks with slow, careful movements. From my place on the tiled floor I could see Jupiter glancing to Matsuo, then to the ground, to him again, then out the window. This made me rightfully nervous, because if she was looking away, that meant he was noticing and in order to notice he had to turn his attention from my hair.

"Matsuo," I began sweetly. "If you mess up my hair or stab me from lack of proper caution and attention, I will be forced to take unsavory actions. Play your games on your own time, please."

"Sorry, sorry." Matsuo paused, considering something, and then added, "But in the event that such an accident did occur, I'd just like to point out that you could turn into Super Usagi and your hair would probably grow out again."

"Don't call me that." I groaned. Ever since finding out about the paranormal world, Matsuo had been stuck on the whole Sailor Moon thing, as though somehow it was the most interesting part. You tell a guy that monsters roam the earth and the history books are missing about a millennium, and all he cares about is _Super Usagi._

Honestly.

Before I could change the subject, my dearest friend had gone off into dreamland. "Why though? It's cool. My best friend is a superhero, I feel like a sidekick. I should have a name shouldn't I? Like… Moon Man. Mr. Moon. The Moonster. No, scratch that last one."

"Moon Boy." I blurted out. Suddenly, I found myself flocked with images of a character from a movie, Incrediboy or something like that from The Incredibles. "Huh. Maybe having a bratty little sidekick wouldn't be so bad. You could fetch me things and I'd save you from peril when you inevitably tried and failed to prove your strength by heading into a battle far out of your league."

Matsuo made an annoyed noise, but Jupiter looked amused.

"Mooner Eclipse." She suggested.

I laughed. "Matsmoon."

"The Mooning Star."

"Moonkick."

"Moo-"

"-Please stop." Matsuo interjected.

"You started it, Moontsuo." I smirked.

Behind me, Matsuo grunted. "Right, all done. The length should be able the same, so I doubt anyone will notice otherwise."

Yeah, anyone that isn't Harumi.

I stood from the floor and sat in the chair next to Matsuo's. I studied him for a moment, and my previous humor faded as I said, "Look, I know you think this whole Sailor Moon business is just the coolest thing ever, but I'm not some kind of superhero; that would be Jupiter's area of expertise. I'm not going to start running around the city fighting crime and saving civilians or anything like that."

"I know that." His gaze was unwavering as he graced me with a smile, kind and sympathetic, and suddenly I found muscles I hadn't consciously stiffened begin to relax. I managed to dredge up a similar expression in return, more thankful than sympathetic. That was the thing about Matsuo, he really did understand; he knew how I felt about being Sailor Moon and the war, and despite knowing that I had the ability to take up arms, he never pushed me on it.

I would be eternally grateful for it.

Matsuo had taken everything quite well, all things considering.

"If…" Jupiter began, only to pause. She shuffled a bit, gaze faltering momentarily before finally settling on me. "If you ever did change your mind about it, well, we could always use another set of fists." At my baffled expression, she shrugged and added, "Just thought I'd put it out there."

"Oh," I examined her, finding that she seemed genuine in her words. The only thing that had me pausing… well, I'd been wrong before, hadn't I? With Naru, I had barely been able to see through her lies to the police, even knowing the truth beforehand and that was a scary feeling. If I couldn't read Naru then how could I possibly be certain of anyone else? Yet unlike Venus and Mercury, Jupiter had this all around honesty about her; it never seemed to occur to her to play games or take someone's measure, so her words were pure, true spoken and from the heart. It made it hard to deal with her sometimes. "Thank you for offering. I mean, I'll probably never take you up on it, and the rest of the Sailor Scouts certainly aren't going to be happy if they ever hear about it, but nonetheless, thank you."

"Yeah, they aren't your biggest fans at the moment." She laughed sheepishly, clearly not having taken that into account. "Who knows though, things can always change."

Naivety was going to get this girl killed one day.

Matsuo, in the midst of sweeping up rejected strands of hair from his kitchen floor, looked up and asked, "By the way, how are things going with blondie?"

Jupiter deflated. "Jadeite, and it isn't going all that great actually. Rei has been going at him from every angle, trying to break down his defenses, but so far she hasn't had any luck. The wards are holding, which is good, and she can feel the dark energy tainting him, she just can't seem to purify it; it's been driving her mad."

"Well, it's only been three days." He reasoned. "She probably just needs more time, right Usagi-chan?"

I hummed noncommittally.

It was good that Mars had been able to sense the corruption, it meant there was a chance it could indeed be stripped away. What worried me was that she didn't seem to have the power to purify it, despite her priestess talents; on the youma, her skills seemed to work just fine, but perhaps people simply weren't in her area of expertise. I contemplated that thought before discarding it, because as much as I wanted to believe that perhaps that was the case, it just didn't fit.

Mars was a priestess, and though my knowledge was minimal on these matters I couldn't help but think that, if anything, people in general _should_ be within her reach. Vaguely, I thought I could recall a time where Mars exorcised the evil from a person before. I tried to think back on it, but the memory would not full return to me and though that was mildly concerning I very carefully did not think too much on it. The fact of the matter was that priestesses were spiritually trained to drive away the demonic and purify, so the fact that she couldn't meant this was more than a simple possession.

I knew very little about Queen Beryl and her abilities; she brainwashed the generals, but with what means I couldn't say. It was possible that she prayed on their own darker feelings; it would explain why Mars was having trouble. That would be bad news, not just from them but for me especially. Jadeite had seen my transformation, it was entirely possible that, should he escape, he could find me sooner or later.

We were running out of time.

I could try using the moon stick, but I had a feeling that it wouldn't do what I needed it to; the solution sounded far too easy to be believable. So where did that leave me then? If Mars wasn't up to the task, then there were only two courses of action left to be taken; either Jadeite would have to die, or I would have to figure out a way to use the Silver Crystal to cleanse him. Both scenarios had grim consequences; Jadeite was supposed to be my ticket out of this war, one of four and if I couldn't turn him to Mamoru's side then I was in trouble.

The Sailor Scouts needed the four of them if they were going to win this war.

Even if, by some twisted fate I ended up fight with the Scouts, my added strength alone would never be enough to fully turn the tides so it wasn't even an option. One person was not good enough, not to fight an army, or whatever the universe was going to throw at them after that. This war was never going to be over, not really; if the Aphotic Kingdom went under, someone else was simply going to take their place. The Sailor Scouts needed long term commitment and resources; they needed Jadeite, so killing him was a last resort and yet we were running out of time.

If his lack of presence hadn't been noticed yet then it would be soon.

Under no circumstances did I want to turn to the Silver Crystal, that would mean potentially restoring memories and what's more I didn't even know how to use the damn thing. If Mars didn't step up her game, I wasn't going to have any other choice though; this world did not stand a chance without Jadeite and his lot.

I prayed it wouldn't come to that.

* * *

 _Long, flowing silver hair styled into two odango buns._

 _Blues eyes, so familiar to my own and yet so different, stared back at me. These eyes were brighter, lively with hope and dreams; they were not the ones that looked back at me through the mirror, hard and calm and seeing the world of what it truly was. These eyes, they watched through rose tinted lenses. They inspired songs, poems, and were the kind that had someone gladly taking a bullet for you._

 _They were not my eyes, no matter their familiarity._

" _Rise." The figure said, and I did. Her smile, the way she held her head high, the straightness of her posture; these all came together to give the undeniable sense of regality, royalty. As I took in her white gown, the golden crescent moon adorning her brow, and the silent, empty courtyard around us, my mind came to a conclusion of it's own._

" _Serenity." Dread dug deep, talons clawing into my stomach, but it was nothing compared to the guilt that shot like an arrow through my chest, knocking the air from me and making my knees go weak. There was no accusation in her gaze, no resentment or hatred; Serenity looked at me tenderly, warmly, as though we were old friends reunited at last and my throat tightened._

" _Sailor Moon." She stepped forward gracefully and took my hands in her own, squeezing gently. "Why do you look so sorrowful? Please, do not show such a sad expression, or it shall infect me as well."_

 _Her voice, the same as my own and yet how different it sounded; her inflection and the way the words flowed from her lips made all the difference in the world. My gaze drifted downward slightly, and she tilted her head to meet my eyes once more, smile turning more morose as she beckoned me to cheer up, blue orbs imploring. It was too much, too unexpected, and I let out a shuddering breath, eyes welling with tears as I managed to choke out the words. "I'm so sorry."_

 _And I was._

 _I was so unbelievably sorry, for stealing this life from her, for taking her second chance, for letting her die, quietly and with no one the wiser as I continued on living, for wanting to live, for knowing that I'd probably make the same choice all over again._

 _Here she was, the victim of my own selfish desires, and she didn't even have the decency to treat me the way I deserved to be treated. Serenity was the girl that died alone, never mourned; a mere child with so much potential in her future, something I hadn't realized in time. Thirteen years old, full of life and love and with no idea as to the cruelty of this world or the fate that had awaited her._

 _I was so, horrifically apologetic for what I had done to her._

 _The tears spilled over then, and she caressed my cheeks with her thumbs, wiping them as they fell._

" _Oh, Sailor Moon, you mustn't cry." Serenity proclaimed. "It is fine, truly, I forgive you, so please cry no further. That you would weep for me… It means more than I could possibly say."_

" _Why are you being so nice to me?" I couldn't understand it._

 _Her smile grew once more. "There is so much you do not know. Will you walk with me?"_

 _She offered an elbow, and hesitantly, I linked arms with her._

 _Serenity led us about the Moon Kingdom for a while, content to remain quiet as my tears gradually dried. The further we walked, the more I began to notice things about the palace. It was empty save for us, and eerily still; there were a few times that, from the corner of my eye I thought I saw a different, more desolate and ruined image over the place, but each time I looked it remained pristine. We wandered to an outer courtyard, towards the edge of a manmade pond and when we arrived Serenity broke the silence._

" _Tell me, Sailor Moon. When you look into the water, what is it that you see?" She gestured to the pond, and I found myself gazing in._

 _I saw twins; the face of Usagi Tsukino drastically differed on two separate people._

 _There was Serenity, with her white gown, silver hair, and glowing blue gaze. Then there was what could only be me, as Sailor Moon except the colors were all wrong. Dark metallic, blood red, midnight blue; even the white was wrong, sort of faded and off color, not in a yellowing way but as though it was losing color entirely, just on the edge of light gray. Had Serenity's gown not been at my side for comparison, I would have never noticed the difference._

 _These were the wrong shades of the Guardian of the Moon._

 _The hair was golden though and the eyes were just right, so clearly belonging to me, tense and unwavering. The princess and I were different as night and day, two opposites wearing the same face. Serenity seemed to read my mind, because she said, "Different, yes, but in the end are we not the same?"_

" _What do you mean?"_

" _I am Princess Serenity." She began. "I will always be Princess Serenity of the Moon Kingdom. You are Sailor Moon, and you will always be Sailor Moon; that identity belongs solely to you. I never had the chance to become her, and therefore she is not a part of me. I can never become Sailor Moon, and you can never become Princess Serenity; these identities belong to us, and us alone. You and I are rather different, the warrior and the princess, yet we are also the same. Sailor Moon and Princess Serenity have both lived as Usagi Tsukino, and it is her that connects us."_

 _I had never considered it that way. "I suppose so, but… Usagi Tsukino, she was yours to begin with. I'm not-"_

" _How it is that you became her is irrelevant." She interjected. "You are Usagi, and now you are also Sailor Moon, whether you care to admit it or not. It is what connects us, so do not carelessly detach yourself from these parts of you. Surely you have felt it, your mergence with this life; your mind has made a home here."_

 _Something in me acknowledged this as truth, and it rattled me._

" _What point are you attempting to make here?" I tore my gaze from the water, turning to her. "Why are you so caught on this?"_

 _I was having trouble rationalizing this entire conversation. So we were connected, alright then, but what did that have to do with anything? She was dancing around the subject, not quite revealing whatever end game she had here and it was beginning to irritate me._

" _You do not understand yet." She murmured quietly to herself, sighing. Serenity addressed me once more, this time with a sense of frustration. "We are Usagi, and we are also so much more. When you became her, Usagi Tsukino disappeared, yes, but that does not mean that I did."_

 _What?_

" _No, you had to have." I argued. Because where else could she have gone? There had been nowhere to go, I knew this for a fact; if I'd been able to escape that day, I would have._

" _I wasn't there though." She raised a finger and tapped my tiara. As she did so, something caught my eye in the water, and I realized it was our reflections. The moment she touched the tiara, the color sort of rippled, not back to gold but brighter, to a white. It was only for a moment, and then the smoky color was back. Serenity put a hand to my chin and turned it back to her, clearly done with my lack of attention. "Sailor Moon, think; if I had been there, you would have seen my memories, so why is it that you remain blissfully unaware of them?"_

" _I…" She was right though. I had so many of little Usagi, but not a single one of the Moon Kingdom. Even the memories of Serenity's reincarnated life had faded over time, along with many of my own. Why, if Serenity and Usagi were one, why did I receive only half of her memories? Something else about it niggled at my consciousness as well, an itch I couldn't quite reach._

 _Her hand lowered, fingers tapping my heart once. "I'm here. It's where I've been the whole time."_

 _I blinked, and then it hit me._

" _Oh," I breathed, and she all but beamed in approval._

 _Serenity had been in the Silver Crystal._

 _It made sense too; Usagi hadn't regained her past life's memories until the Silver Crystal had shown itself within her, in fact no one really had; Mamoru had dreams, yes, but nothing clear. The memories themselves weren't repressed, they were sealed in some way. I hadn't killed Serenity by taking this body, because she had never been there to begin with. I had simply absorbed part of her, Usagi Tsukino, and by doing that, well… We truly were connected by the name._

" _So what does this mean then?" I asked. "You said I can't become you, so I'm not the moon princess, right? Does that mean I can't use the Silver Crystal either?"_

 _Questions piled themselves in my mind, and I was dying to have them answered because this had the potential to change everything. If I couldn't use the silver Crystal then I really was of no use to the Scouts in their war, and I was pretty much pardoned. At the same time though it meant that I couldn't fix Jadeite, and that either the Scouts would have to figure something out, or he would have to go._

" _It is difficult to explain." She looked to the sky wistfully. "Only a descendant of the Moon Kingdom could become Sailor Moon or use the Silver Crystal, and you have done both so therefore you must be the Moon Princess."_

" _But you just said-"_

" _You are not me." Serenity confirmed. "The body you have merged with is the Moon Princess's though, so I suppose you are me in all but name. We are different people, understand, different souls, but Usagi Tsukino is both Sailor Moon and the Moon Princess; this is something that cannot be changed."_

" _So… I'm the Moon Princess, but also… not?" She was making absolutely no sense. I hadn't used the Silver Crystal either, so what was she going on about? "You need to be more clear about this, for the sake of my own sanity."_

 _Serenity nodded thoughtfully and took a moment to think her words over. "You have the powers of a princess of the Moon Kingdom, Sailor Moon, but you can never transform into_ me _, you can never become Princess Serenity. We are two halves of the same moon, so to speak."_

 _I was still a bit lost, but nodded anyway and she continued. "This is all beside the point though. What you need to understand is that, to this very day I reside in the Silver Crystal. My time in this world has ended, and I will not be returning; now I can do naught but watch and guide you. The war against the Dark Kingdom must be won at all costs, do you understand?"_

 _I did, of course I did, and I was doing what I could to help make that a possibility. Serenity seemed to be the one that didn't understand; the battlefield was not a place I was meant to be in. Bravery was a trait I did not possess, I was selfish and my first, natural instinct was to survive. Given the option between fight or flight, I would choose to flee every time. "What exactly do you expect me to do about it?"_

" _You're wrong, you know." She said suddenly. My expression morphed into one of confusion at her words, unexpected as they were. Serenity looked at me in determination. "This world, its success does not hinder on me. Whether it withers or blooms depends on you, Sailor Moon. I… I did not have the courage to go on when the Dark Kingdom came and murdered those dear to me."_

 _Her gaze turned hard then, and Serenity looked more… like me. "You are different though, and the world will be better for it. The War, My kingdom, they were not lost until I gave up; if I had been stronger, they could have been defeated and so much would be different. You have that strength, even if you cannot see it; unlike myself, you have the ability to do what needs to be done, the will to go through with it until the very end."_

" _I will be your tool." Serenity promised. "So do not think that you are alone in this any longer. No matter what you do, or how hard it becomes, remember that there is one person that knows your truth. Remember that you are never alone."_

 _She stepped away from me, and the world turned fuzzy, fading out of focus. The last thing I saw was Serenity's face, an expression I couldn't quite pinpoint._

" _And Sailor Moon, thank you. Thank you for grieving me."_

 _The world slipped from beneath me and faded into nothing._

* * *

"Astral Projection, a state in which the conscious mind leaves the physical body and moves into astral realm; otherwise known as an out of body experience, astral projection in an advanced form of lucid dreaming." Matsuo paused and looked up from the book in his hands to me, tone skeptical. "This is what you wanted to skip classes for then?"

I didn't answer, unable to form the proper words.

How could I possibly explain it, anyway?

My expression must have been grim, because Matsuo eyed me for a mere second before returning to the book. "While similar to lucid dreaming, astral projection is truly in a category of its own, and therefore should not be mistaken for its counterpart. When lucid dreaming, there is a greater capacity of interacting and taking control of the dream, with a lower level of awareness whereas with astral projection, one has a higher level of awareness and less control over the dream itself. These are the core differences between the two and what ultimately defines Astral Projection as a higher form of lucid dreaming."

"What else does it say?" I asked quietly.

Matsuo's gaze flickered up to me briefly before falling back onto the text. He ran a finger down the paper and ended up flipping the page before anything of interest caught his eye. "Right, listen to this. Astral Projection is a supposed form of telepathy that presumes the existence of a soul, or astral body completely separate from the physical body. The soul, or astral body, is capable of traveling outside the physical form and throughout the universe. The most common expression of astral projection is the meaning of journeying to other worlds; heavens, hells, and other, after-death spheres of existence as well as any transcendent environment.

"It is theorized that, when in the act of Astral Projection the astral body is tethered to its physical counterpart by a silver cord. Many philosophers agree that it is the connection between the soul and the body that allow for one's return from the astral realm. While there is no conclusive evidence, it is widely agreed upon that in death the silver cord is severed, and the soul, separated from the physical body, remains in its astral form. This had led to many debates as to what would occur to the human body should the soul be disconnected during astral projection."

The two of us sat in silence in the wake of this information, each lost in our own musings.

My mind was a mess, nine different trains of thoughts and a million questions piling up. Where did I even begin? I had woken up this morning in a fit of near hysterics as the dream came back to me. I didn't know what to make of it, whether it was even real or simply my own imagination running wild but I hadn't been able to let it go. I wanted to believe that it had been nothing more than a dream, I was under an immense amount of stress, my identity revealed, and that was all.

Except, if that was the case, why the hell was this book hitting so close to home?

Traveling to other dimensions? Through a non-physical realm of existence?

It was too eerily reminiscent.

Then there was the part about death, what happened to the so-called soul afterwards, the possibility of travel in its astral body. That was also too familiar, and the very thought made my throat close up in panic. I didn't want to know this, didn't want to believe it, but… when the ludicrous clicked, began making even the smallest bit of sense, how did you turn your back to it? It was frightening, and I think that more than anything was why I couldn't simply pretend otherwise; if there was anything I believed in, it was the worst case scenario, and this just fit too cleanly.

My existence after death was something I would never forget.

That sensation of floating for what felt like ages and yet no time at all, not really existing in one single place in time or physical location; the feeling of being _ripped_ from that Neither Here Nor There place and finding myself in an actual form. It all fit so neatly with what this book had described, and then there was the dream itself to consider. I was fully aware, and unable to control the dream or direct it in any way. I shuddered as the similarities dawned upon me, suddenly sure I now knew more about the afterlife than any person had a healthy right to.

"Hey," Matsuo nudged me, and I snapped to attention. "Telepathy, that's a psychic ability right?"

I nodded.

"Well, isn't one of Makoto-chan's friends psychic?"

I blinked and stilled. "Yeah, actually. We aren't going to mention this to anyone though, alright?"

He shrugged, closing the book. "You haven't even explained anything to me yet anyway, so there isn't really anything to mention is there?"

"Right…" I looked at Matsuo, at his steady gaze, reassuring expression, and suddenly my throat wasn't so tight and I could breathe again. I had banged on his door early this morning and whisked him away without any significant explanation and Matsuo had just come along obediently, asking minimal questions and not pressuring for answers I couldn't seem to spit out. I felt a rush of affection for him then; if anyone deserved to know what had happened, it was him. "I had… a dream last night. I was in the Moon Kingdom, at the palace and it was all so real. I talked to someone there, and… I don't know. It could be nothing, but I just have this _feeling_ , and I can't ignore it."

It had been no ordinary dream.

The things I had learned, the information, it held more value then I could say and at the moment I was hardly able to grasp even half of it. I felt a headache coming on and leaned my cheek down on the table. I hadn't even read the damn book, and it was hurting my brain.

"So hang on a second here." Matsuo shifted forward in his seat to remain in my line of sight. "Does this mean you have psychic powers too? Because that is seriously over kill, and completely unfair. You're already a superhero, you know? Save some cool for the rest of us."

"I'm not a superhero."

"You have super powers."

"My god, fine." I sat up and gave him a withering look. "I'm a god damn superhero, let's move on. This dream told me how I might be able to fix Jadeite."

"Oh, that's good then." He said. My expression didn't change, but he must have saw something else in it because he added, "Or perhaps not?"

"It's complicated."

He nodded sagely, and pushed out his chair. "Well, tell me on the way. Aikido waits for no man, as the saying goes."

I opened my mouth tell him that was very much not how the saying goes, but all that came out was a sigh as I stood and followed him out of the library. There really was no arguing with him sometimes, it just wasn't worth the effort. We exited the building and started down the stairs as I spoke. "You remember the Silver Crystal-"

"-You mean the Legendary Silver Crystal of Great and Immeasurable Power? Yes, I do recall hearing about that."

I kicked out at him, and he hopped over my leg easily as I chided, "Don't interrupt me with your sass. Anyway, yes, that crystal. Well, it's all powerful and whatnot, and apparently it could purify the dark evil whatever in Jadeite."

"Real useful." He snorted. "Now we only need to find the thing and figure out how to use it; or, well, you do since your one of the only ones that might be able to. Makoto-chan thinks Naru has it and just doesn't know it, so obviously the crystal isn't going to be easily recognizable. You know, this would all be easier if Naru just remembered who she was."

I kept my expression neutral.

When Matsuo had woken up at the temple, memories miraculously intact, I had tried to explain everything to him, to the Sailor Scouts' horror. The key word here was _tried_ , because as soon as it became clear to everyone involved that I would not be persuaded otherwise, Jupiter had taken it upon herself to pitch in and tell him things I might have missed; things like who the moon princess was. She was wrong, of course, but I couldn't exactly say that in front of them and there simply hadn't been a good time to mention that fact as of yet.

Matsuo glanced at me, did a double take, and his expression morphed into disbelief. "Oh my god."

"What?" My tone was defensive as he stopped dead and loomed over me, eyes narrowing.

" _You_." He said, pointing a finger at me. "You're making a face!"

"No. No I am not."

"You are!" He insisted. "You totally are! I know that face, it's a _I'm not going to say anything_ face. You make that face when a customer insists they're right!"

Damn him, how did he know? "I'm not making a face! This is just my face!"

"Spit it out then." Matsuo demanded. "I said something you know isn't true, so tell me what it is."

I paused, considering. "First, tell me how you could tell so easily."

He scoffed. "You go blank, pacifying, like a little kid told you Santa Claus was real and you weren't going to let him think any different. You have a face, now get over it and tell me what I don't know."

I shifted my feet, looking everywhere but at him. Matsuo was having none of my shit though, because he got right up in my personal space, slapped his palms to my now stinging cheeks, and tilted my face back to him. I accidentally met his eyes, those stupid, brown, puppy eyes and the words were spilling out of me before I had time to think them through. "Naru doesn't have the Silver Crystal, I do. She's not even the Moon Princess."

Silence.

"…What."

"…"

" _What?!"_ Matsuo shook me a bit, and I smacked his hands away.

"Alright, alright, Christ!" my hands smoothed the stinging in my cheeks. "Girls are delicate you heathen, especially our faces."

He wasn't even listening. "What do you mean you have the crystal?! Since when?! No wait, more importantly, how the hell did you get it in the first place? You let everyone think Naru was the Moon Princess, that she had it! Do you know how upset Makoto-chan will be when she finds out? Not to mention the Sailor Scouts! They're going to be furious, they'll murder you when the truth comes out! Have you even thought this over? Have you been blind to Minako-san? She won't take this lightly, neither will the others, and Makoto-chan, god. She invited you to join them at any time!"

"Matsuo-"

"And Endymion! He seems like a good guy, what's he going to think? He's already angry that you kept information from him, but this? This-"

"Matsuo-"

"-Is so much worse! It's next level lying, advanced deceit! You weren't just withholding information, you were keeping the very thing he was searching for from him, and knowingly! Wh-"

I shoved a hand over his mouth. "Will you be quiet for one second and let me explain?"

He grabbed me by the wrist and withdrew my hand. "This is serious, Usagi-chan."

"I know that." I replied somberly. I knew it better than anyone, more than he or the world could ever realize. Matsuo released me, and my arm fell back to my side as he exhaled and nodded for me to continue. Quickly, I gathered my thoughts and started walking again. "I'm not like the Scouts or Mamoru. My… awakening was very, very different. The Silver Crystal, it powers are vast, possibly endless, and if it was used on any of them, they would regain the memories of their past lives. I, however, would not. My past life, well, I have the memories, but they're vague and the details fade with every day, and with them the ones of Usagi Tsukino's life seem to disappear as well.

"I know things that are better left in the dark. No, I don't have all the information, but… trust me when I say it's probably for the best. Don't act like I have any sort of duty to these people alright? I am neither my past life, nor the Usagi Tsukino that grew up in this town; I'm this… this odd combination of memories and feelings I can't really explain. My allegiance is to me, and I understood the consequences of my actions when I kept everything a secret."

That girl that died in her dorm room, she was no longer me.

The girl that was always late, eating her fill, and full of life, I had never been her.

I owed the Scouts and Mamoru nothing.

"The Silver Crystal, if I use it then Jadeite's memories will likely return. I've been keeping it to myself because it would be very bad if any of them remembered the past. Not only that, but… whether I like it or not, the Silver Crystal is my responsibility; I have to keep it safe, and not just from the common enemy but from any idiot that thinks they can do a better job of protecting it. If the world believes it is in another's possession, then it is that much safer from discovery."

Matsuo took in my words, thinking them over.

Finally, he spoke. "What about the Moon Princess though? Doesn't she have to be protected from the Dark Kingdom?"

The laugh that escaped me was bleak. "Protected for what reason though? The Heiress to a kingdom long fallen and in ruin, to a race of people that died out; what is it exactly that is so important to preserve, and for who?"

Matsuo didn't seem to have an answer for that, and we spent the rest of the walk in silence. The words of princess Serenity haunted my every step.

 _My time is over, and now I can do naught but watch and guide you._

It was a terrible thought, to see your loved ones and the world crumbling around you and not being able to do a damn thing about it. I could help thinking back to something she had said, something I had known all along. Back in the Silver Millennium, Serenity could have fought; she could have done something, anything, but when the time came she abandoned hope and committed suicide, leaving her people to die. The queen had given her this second chance, to have a happier life and make up for her mistakes.

By choosing to live, I'd done more than take this second life from her.

I had stolen her sole chance at redemption.

Serenity's tale was truly a tragedy.

* * *

After dropping Matsuo off at the dojo, I reluctantly trudged off to work.

The moment I entered the back room, Harumi caught sight of me and his eyes immediately narrowed on my ponytail. His voice took on an offended quality as he said, "Did you _cut_ your _hair_?"

I coughed, averting my gaze.

Sacrilege." He hissed, coming over to my side and man handling me. I was spun around and the elastic band was loosened until the golden locks fell, sweeping past my shoulders and down my back. Harumi weaved his fingers expertly through my hair, running down the length of it. With disgust, he turned me back around and added, "How dare you."

"Matsuo did it." I replied quickly, throwing my friend under the bus. I almost felt guilty, but then, this was Harumi I was dealing with; sometimes sacrifices had to be made.

Harumi scowled. "He is _dead_ when I see him, dead I tell you. Sit down; I'll need to fix this mess and salvage what I can."

I sat, paranoia settling in; had Matsuo butchered the back of my head without telling me? He wasn't exactly a professional, but surely he hadn't done that bad? I hadn't had any other choice to begin with anyway, I'd kept my hair in a bun for a few days to hide the length but going to a salon wasn't a long term solution if it was just going to grow back the next time I was forced to transform. How did I explain the rapid growth every time, or what if I ran into someone that knew me while getting it hacked off?

Too many variables.

Harumi trimmed the edges, muttering to himself, and when he finished I couldn't really tell the difference. "Next time you think about making a change in your hairstyle, don't. These blonde locks belong to _me_ now, and I'll not have you ruining them, understand?"

"Yes sir."

"Good, now hold still while I get you into makeup."

I held back my sigh and waited patiently as Harumi transformed me into a flapper girl and shooed me out onto the floor. Under his creative eye, the café and its staff complimented one another, coming together to create a work of art from the 1920's. I spent a good hour and a half waiting tables and serving customers before Matsuo finally arrived and was whisked into wardrobe. He joined me look as ruggedly handsome as ever, hair artfully brushed back. I snapped his suspenders, making him jump. "I like the addition. Harumi has a good eye for these things."

He swatted me away. "Watch it, little rabbit."

I scrunched my nose. "Why are we friends?"

"Who knows." Matsuo replied. He glanced around quickly before leaning in closer. "How are things at your house?"

"Ah," My hands smoothed over the fabric of the dress I wore as I contemplated my next words. "I'm working on it."

Matsuo had invited me to come live with him, and I wanted to, really; it was just that things had been so busy the last couple of days, I hadn't had a chance to figure out how exactly to accomplish such a feat without the Tsukino family making a mess of things. It was on my list of issues to work out, but I wouldn't be getting to it until the Jadeite situation had been resolved one way or another.

Matsuo set a palm to the top of my head. "Don't worry about it. One thing at a time Usagi-chan; we'll get there eventually."

I grunted, and a mischievous gleam entered his eye.

Quicker than I had time to react, Matsuo brought his other hand up and flicked me on the forehead. I hissed, rubbing it, and turned to retaliate only he was already walking off to greet a new customer. Scowling, I stored my revenge for later as another group was seated in my section. I flipped open my notepad and pen as I approached the table, too focused on the sting to pay them any real attention. It was only when I arrived that I looked up and froze.

Seated at the table was a group of older boys, nothing too unusual, except for the fact that they wore a familiar uniform, belonging to a private school, and that one of them just so happened to be Mamoru.

He was staring at me, eyes wide, and I could do nothing but look back as my stomach dropped. Then, one of the other boys said something to me, and I focused back in to the world. Plastering a smile on my face, I began. "Welcome to the Fabler's café, where tales of fantasy and adventure are weaved into reality. How many I serve you?"

The boy to Mamoru's right gave his drink order, followed by the rest. When it came to him, he looked down to the menu as though it were the most interesting thing and ordered water. I scuttled away to the backroom, his gaze burning into my back until the two way door closed between us, cutting off Mamoru's view.

Shit.

I snatched a tray and began filling cups, all the while fighting my instinct to flee, crawl under a rock, and die. At some point, Matsuo entered the back room, and he came so quietly that I didn't even notice his presence until he said, "Usagi-chan, stop being violent with the cups: what have they ever done to you?"

I whipped my head around. "He's. Here."

"What? Who is?"

"Mamoru." I spat through gritted teeth.

Matsuo looked amazed. "No way." He swiveled around and peered out through the small window in the two way door. I stepped forward and yanked him back by the collar, afraid someone would see him looking.

He choked, and, ignoring it, I sternly told him, "Don't be so obvious! Also, what's with that excited expression? This isn't a good thing you fool!"

"I like him though, Endymion- er, Mamoru-san is cool."

I went to snap a retort when a thought occurred to me. I smiled angelically and nodded, "Well, why don't you take his table then? I don't mind. Really."

"Nice try." Matsuo smirked. "But no."

"Why not?"

"Because," He said. "I like seeing you squirm. It makes for a nice change, balances out the universe and all that."

I picked up the tray of glasses and glared at him. "I hate you."

He shrugged carelessly and stepped aside as I went out the door.

The moment I was back out on the floor, the table of boys had their eyes on me. I pushed down violent thoughts and dredged up that eager to please smile and soft voice. When their drinks had been distributed, I flipped open my notepad once more. "So then, are we ready to order?"

I stood on the opposite side of the table, as far from Mamoru as I could get without appearing rude. Unfortunately, this left me near the more bold of the group of four; he was about the same age as Mamoru, with blond, curly hair and a flirtatious smile. The boy leaned forward ever so slightly, chin resting on his palm on the table. The move gained my attention, and with a lidded gaze, he asked me, "Hey, what's your name?"

I studied him, happy to focus on anything that wasn't Mamoru.

The boy didn't give me any creepy vibes, but at work Harumi had a strict rule about not giving out personal information to the customers for our own protection. We were allowed to give our first names, but that was it and he had no qualms about using fake names either. I don't know what possessed me to do it; maybe it was Mamoru's intense gaze no longer on me but the menu, or the fact that somewhere behind me, Matsuo was watching gleefully. Maybe it was the sudden loss; loss of normality now that my best friend was in on a truth I'd been running from.

Maybe it was that, by coming here Mamoru had invaded my last sanctuary.

I loved the Fabler, so it was like a physical wound.

I don't know what drove me to it, but it felt good, the way I met the boy's gaze head on, with a true, charming smile, and replied, "You can call me Usagi-chan. What should I call you? Any personal preference?"

His eyes, somewhere between chocolate and gold, brightened, and his grin widened just the smallest amount. "Kai works. These are my schoolmates, Nishimura-san, Yamada-san, and Chiba-san."

Kai listed them using what I was sure were surnames. I fluttered my lashes at them and responded, "It's a pleasure. May I take your orders then?"

Kai's friends went first, taking their time and waiting until I finished writing before making any specifications, then Mamoru went. This time, he looked me straight in the eye while rattling off his order. The intensity made it hard to tear my gaze away, especially since I couldn't seem to read him but I managed all the same, treating him no differently than I would any other customer. Well, perhaps that wasn't absolutely true; I might have been more distant, but then I was also angry; he had taken something special from me.

After writing down Kai's order, I pranced away from the group, dropping it off in the kitchen before moving back out onto the floor to check on my other tables. At one point, I saw Matsuo go over to the group and greet them, chatting up Mamoru with his usual carefree disposition. They spoke for a bit before he clapped Mamoru on the shoulder and went back to work. I kept a steady eye on their drinks and went back for a refill once until the food was ready. The tray was heavy, but nothing I couldn't handle as I approached the group and dished out their meals.

This part was more difficult, as it required me to move closer.

Under Mamoru's relentless stare, I set his plate on the table and cautioned him on its heat, gaze never quite meeting his. Just as I moved to leave Kai's hand shot out, fingertips brushing the inside of my wrist to make me pause. "Usagi-chan, have you been working here long?"

"I'd say so." I confirmed, thinking it over. "It's been a couple months; feels like forever sometimes though, you know?"

He hummed in understanding. "So then, you must work here regularly."

I nodded. "Yeah. I mean, I spend a good portion of my time here. My boss, Harumi, he's really great about it, let's me come in and work even when I'm not scheduled."

"I see." Kai said, though he didn't give any further explanation.

I left them to it after that, checking on my other customers, making small talk with them and refilling drinks. As the night wore on, I went back to their table a few more times, clearing the table off and taking their payments. As they left Kai gave me a debonair smile and winked, and I saluted before waving them off. I spent the rest of my night ignoring the fact that Mamoru had been here; instead, I cleaned tables, wrapped silverware, discarded trash, swept the backroom, and organized the wardrobe.

I very carefully did not think about what I had lost.

I couldn't afford the blow, already wounded and teetering on an edge.

Falling apart was a privilege I did not have at the moment.

* * *

I knew what I had to do.

I knew it in my heart, as certain as the blood pumping through my veins; I knew the answer to this problem, but knowing and acting were two very different things. At school the next day, surrounded by unpleasant vibes, I did my best to tune out the world around me. This was not a particular easy task with Venus mentally attempting to murder me with her gaze alone. The Sailor Scouts treated me with varying degrees of loathing, and Venus was quite possibly the worst.

She could work with me when push came to shove, but the rest of the time I was a black stain, marring her perfect record. Mars made scathing remarks, Mercury gave me frosty, yet polite smiles, but it was Venus that took the cake. She was rightfully intimidating, and I knew that should the day ever come where we came to physical blows, she would have to go out first.

Venus was not to be taken lightly.

Sadly, neither was Naru.

"You know the drill, Usagi-chan." She said, twirling her finger. I contemplated ignoring her, and probably would have gone through with it had Jupiter not gotten up and moved my desk for me. It was lunch time, with the usual crowd in the usual position; to my left, fire, and to my right, ice. I dutifully arranged my expression to appear unbothered by the Scouts as Naru chatted on, the queen holding court. "Usagi-chan, you missed it! I met a really cute guy yesterday after school. We're going on a date today, so he'll be waiting for me at the gates, and I need to look my best. I was thinking we could meet up after and go over everything, you guys could even tag along and follow us for an hour, give me a second opinion."

"I'm up for it." Venus chirped. Of course she was; when it came to Naru, there appeared to be very little Venus wasn't up to doing. Strangely enough, it was the same with pretty much everyone else in Naru's circle; Yumiko was excited, and to no one's surprise the other Scouts had no problem with it either. Maybe if it had been Matsuo going on a date, I'd have been interested in spying; after all, he was my best friend. Naru was… well, not really a friend. It was difficult to explain my relationship with her.

She was like glitter; all but impossible to get rid of.

Yumiko dragged me from my train of thought. "Kuri-chan and Nana-chan will want to come too, we should ask them when they get back to the classroom."

If Naru's boyfriend didn't notice a group of girls that large stalking them, then it would be a miracle. Mars seemed to like Naru's train of though. "it's a good idea. I mean, if he's a creep or something and you want to end the date you can just give us a signal and we'll make an excuse for you."

"He's a dream boat." Naru sighed. "I kind of _hope_ there's at least one thing wrong with him; after all, how do you compete with perfection? Anyway, you'll come, right Usagi-chan?"

"Uh," I kept my gaze on Naru. "I'll see what I can do. I have something to do after school and I don't know how long it's going to take."

She arched brow. "Like what?"

I sipped my drink. "Praying. The temple I'm going to is a bit far, and you know how I feel about buses so it'll take a while. But well, I hear it's a good place to ward off evil spirits and whatnot." I slid my gaze over to Mercury, know that she, along with the rest of the Scouts, would have their eyes on me. "You'll all just have to fill me in on the gossip later. Probably for the best if Naru has an emergency exit, especially nowadays."

Translation: Don't leave Naru alone.

Mercury nodded, the movement so slight that Naru didn't even notice it.

"I'll come with you." Jupiter said out of the blue.

I stared at her, annoyed but unable to ward the girl off without arising any suspicion. Matsuo was supposed to meet up with me after school anyway, so if one of them had to come then it might as well be the most easily distracted.

"Fine." Naru huffed. "Just don't forget, okay?"

"Got it." Guess I was stuck on this one.

"Careful, Naru-chan." Mars sneered. "I wouldn't put too much hope into her coming. Sometimes expectations only lead to disappointment."

"Oh dear." I chimed. "That sounds dreadfully like a personal issue. Anything you'd like to share?"

Mars glared daggers at me, but gave no retort.

The rest of the school day passed by uneventfully, and by the time the bell rang I was more than ready to get out of there; my anxiety was relentless, and at this point I just wanted to get the inevitable over and done with. This was going to be a disaster, I had already accepted it, but that didn't mean it was going to be any less stressing. I had several courses of action planned out for the possible outcomes, figuring that if I couldn't evade the pain than I might as well come prepared for it.

To my displeasure Naru insisted I see her to the gates so that, at the very least she had a chance to show off her guy. Walking with Naru meant walking with the Scouts, and normally I was able to avoid long term interaction with them, lunch aside. Now though, there was nowhere to run.

It wasn't agony, walking down with the lot of them.

Just highly unpleasant.

Mars was prickly after my last comment, and I found that ignoring her entirely did the most damage so to amuse myself that was how I killed time. Yumiko was the barrier between us, and when Mars muttered something unkind while I rambled on, the poor girl would look between us nervously. She didn't want to be rude to Mars, but at the same time I wasn't allowing her attention to waver from me fully.

We had all gathered our things from our lockers and headed towards the gate when Naru interrupted me. "Oh my god, there he is. Okay girls, act cool, don't completely embarrass me either or I will bury each of you in shallow graves. That goes double of you, Usagi-chan."

"Rude. How is it that you think I'm the most likely to do such a thing?"

"Because," Se sniffed. "You'd do it just for a laugh."

Well, she wasn't wrong.

"I'll be on my best behavior then." I promised, and she nodded regally.

"I expect nothing less."

Naru linked arms with me when we were within a dozen feet of the gates, and I flinched, head turning to her. She seemed to become more lively as she looked at her date; cheeks coloring, eyes brightening, hair bouncing. The air slowly left me, my legs started feeling unsteady and I became lightheaded. I moved to pull away from her just as my gaze followed her line of sight to the boy waiting at the gates.

Deep blue eyes shifted from her to me just as I looked.

Mamoru.

The world tilted ever so slightly, and then Naru let go, just missing the moment my hands began to tremble. It didn't stop, almost as though she were still gripping my arm, only the drain was weaker. Naru went up to Mamoru and greeted him, suddenly shy, and he blinked, focusing back to her. He gazed down at Naru affectionately, and said something, but the words were muffled to me. Air returned to me, yet I still felt off as I looked at them.

Oddly enough, the world seemed to steady, painfully so.

"Are you ready then?" He asked, and Naru nodded. They turned to leave, Naru waving us off, as if the girls weren't going to follow them around all day. Mamoru's gaze flickered over to me, and our eyes locked for the span of a heartbeat. My expression was neutral, but Mamoru appeared to read something in it because he reacted, eyes widening, lips parting. Then Naru was leading him away, and his back fully turned on me as together they exited the gates.

I counted to ten, and left in the opposite direction.

* * *

Jupiter said nothing during our journey to meet up with Matsuo.

I had nothing to say, so our trip was spent in silence; if I'd been in the mood, I would have reveled in the quiet as it wasn't something that went hand in hand with Jupiter's presence. My feet moved of their own accord, taking us down a well-known path while my mind was occupied with other things. I counted to one hundred, and then went over what was to come.

Matsuo would distract Jupiter while I did the heavy lifting.

If I was unable to use the Silver Crystal, then Jadeite would have to be dealt with somehow. If I succeeded, and his memories were fully restored, then the next course of action was to convince him to keep his mouth shut by whatever means necessary. If he was purified but didn't know who I was, all the better. If the Silver Crystal somehow healed him only physically, I had to be ready to finish the job. I had never intentionally killed before, and so this possibility made me wary. Would I be able to do it? Would I flee, or freeze in fear? Hesitation would get me killed, one way or another.

If I did go through with it, what did that mean for me?

This wasn't like what had happened with Serenity; this was a conscious, preplanned decision and there was no acting otherwise. This would be premeditated murder if it came down to it.

I shoved those thoughts away.

Maybes and what ifs would get me nowhere right now.

No matter the variables, this interaction was going to end one of two ways; either with me trying to kill him, or me threatening him into submission. Either it didn't work and he was still the enemy, or it did and I needed to secure his allegiance and or silence.

We met up with Matsuo about halfway to the temple, and he appeared to sense the mood. Normally, I'd be content to leave the continued silence, but today was a special case; I needed Jupiter out of my hair and he was my best hope at it. When we finally made it to the temple grounds and began climbing the stairs, I caught Matsuo's gaze and jerked my head at Jupiter. He glanced at her and nodded once, shifting between me and her. Jupiter smiled at him, and Matsuo grinned back.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, he whistled as the three of us reached the top of the stairs. "This place is really nice. Do you spend a lot of time here, Makoto-chan?"

"Yeah," She flushed prettily. "Its where we spend most of our time training actually. The grounds make for a good obstacle course."

"I don't doubt it." Matsuo put on his best smile and Jupiter seemed caught in his gaze. "You know, if it's not too much trouble I wouldn't mind getting a tour of the place."

"Really?" Jupiter perked up, then her gaze turned to me. "But…"

"It's fine." I told her. "You two will only mess with my concentration if you're hovering over me the entire time."

Jupiter seemed torn over it. She quite obviously wanted to spend time with Matsuo alone, but in order to do so it meant she'd have to take her eyes off me. Whether she was worried for my sake or had simply been following orders to keep an eye on me, Jupiter was really struggling with the decision. Matsuo realized the same thing, and he shrugged casually, giving that understanding expression. "It's fine it you don't want to."

"I do." She replied hastily. "It's just.."

"Fifteen minutes or half an hour isn't going to make or break the world." I commented, lying through my teeth.

Jupiter looked at me, and I silently told her to make a choice already.

"Well, I suppose that's true." She said, and Matsuo beamed.

"Great." He set a guiding hand between her shoulders. "Let's get a look then. See you in a bit, Usagi-chan."

The poor flustered girl allowed herself to be taken away, and I used the opening to slip into the house. Where Mars' grandfather was, I had no idea; I found myself tiptoeing through the Japanese styled home, listening quietly for any sort of movement. I didn't want to startle the old man, but at the same time I also wasn't keen on making my presence known. The elderly could go on about things forever if given the chance, and I really didn't have time to indulge him.

I managed to sneak to the back of the house and into Jadeite's room without exposure. There was a brief moment where I pondered on how exactly Mars was explaining the captive to her grandfather, but really, it wasn't any of my concern. Jadeite looked like hell when I entered, lying on his side with hands and feet tied, mouth bound and unconscious. His hair was a mess, and he was still dirty from the previous fight. Out of context, this scene would probably give Mars' grandfather a heart attack, so most likely he didn't even know about the house guest.

The seals around Jadeite were still in place.

I stood outside the wards, uncertain was to do next when the brooch adorning my uniform suddenly pulsed. Part of me wanted to pretend I hadn't felt it, and I was nearly decided on the matter when the damn thing pulsed once more.

I literally just had my hair cut though.

Again, the brooch pulsed, as though answering my thoughts.

"Fine." I snapped, reaching for it. Harumi was going to have a seizure. "Moon Prism Power, Make Up."

This time, the transformation seemed to take longer, slower. Again it was like breathing air, crisp and fresh, for the very first time. There was a rush of energy coursing through my veins; my limbs felt stronger, my mind clear and rejuvenated and I couldn't hold back the sigh of relief, pleasure, clarity. My hair no longer hung around my face; it grew once more, going up into ungodly odango buns. At the end of the transformation, I felt alive, on top of the world and capable of anything.

It was that thought that stopped me, fear sharply cutting through.

 _Don't get cocky,_ I reminded myself. _Cocky blinds you._

These words grounded me, and as I looked to Jadeite, the fear, worry, and apprehension had returned. I was grateful for it; better fear and caution than cocky and carelessness. I closed my eyes, concentrating. It was strange, like astral projection; my body was here in the world, but when I tried hard enough, it was like I could see the Moon stick. It had to be in some sort of astral realm, waiting to be summoned into the physical world, or at least that was what I assumed. It made far more sense than simply popping into existence each time I had use for it.

I didn't need the moon stick though, so I moved past it, digging deeper.

Further, further I mentally went. It was difficult to rationalize what happened next. I found something, sort of a white light that couldn't really be seen but rather sensed, and the moment I touched it Serenity's voice came to me and I faltered.

 _Good, Sailor Moon; you're almost there. Take hold of the light, harness it for this single moment in time and do not allow it to slip from your grasp._

I exhaled slowly, then, before the fear could stop me, I seized the light, claimed it as my own.

It was overwhelming, before the light was gone and my eyes were blinking into focus. I did not feel very different, though as I took stock of myself I realized this was not entirely true. Becoming Sailor Moon had taken away the drain of what Naru had done, but now after doing as Serenity instructed, I could feel the faintest difference in my body. It was… strange, hard to keep a firm hold on, it felt as natural as my own heartbeat. A thrum, a miniscule spark of electricity, a piece that fit just right, so perfectly that I barely noticed its presence or that it had ever been missing at all.

My gaze fell to Jadeite once more.

 _Do not break the wards, simply pass them_.

I did, kneeling at his side. I removed the gag and the restraints, for no reason other than my own gut feeling that they were no longer necessary. I brushed back a few of the blond locks at Jadeite's face, and his expression somehow began to look more peaceful.

 _It is time, Sailor Moon. You know what to do._

And Serenity was right, I did know.

I moved without thought, driven by pure intuition, instinctively knowing what would happen before even completing the action itself. It came as no surprise, as I leaned down and pressed a kiss to my enemy's forehead. The air around us fluttered, rippling with a force of pure, unadulterated flow of energy, shattering the wards around us; then it was gone as quickly as it came, along with the hum inside me. I leaned back, posture straightening, and studied Jadeite, already knowing what I would find.

There, between his brows was a silver crescent moon.

* * *

A/N

When I was writing this last scene, I had a flash of an image where Serenity tells Usagi she knows what to do, and Usagi takes out a huge knife and plunges it into Jadeite's chest and that ladies and gentlemen is why I really shouldn't allow my imagination to run wild.

No more horror movies/anime/books for me.

I actually have the next scene written up, but this chapter was getting way too long and I just couldn't fit it in so we'll have to wait for next time.

Anyway, as less action packed at this chapter was, I kind of really enjoyed writing it. We're really getting full circle now, with the astral stuff and Serenity's appearance. I've been saving that up for a while actually, since it's really important to Usagi's character growth that she gets the chance to speak with Serenity and find some minor peace in being able to apologize. It literally has been killing me, waiting so long and finding the right moment for the exchange. More character growth to come in the next chapter, just not for Usagi.

Since a lot of you guys have mentioned about Usagi's possible powers in comparison to the OG Sailor Moon, I thought I'd throw you all a bone here. I like OG's powers, they're interesting enough, but the thing is Usagi isn't the same person. She's got the tiara, but that doesn't mean she'll use it. Usagi is the kind of person that isn't going to think to use weapons in the heat of a battle. She learned to fight with her fists so that's what's going to come naturally to her, because she knows she can rely on her own physical strength.

Is it mundane? Yeah, but that's the point.

Usagi looks at herself and sees a normal girl, not someone with super powers.

Anyway,

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	13. Chapter 13

A/N

Let me tell you guys something, finding the official titles of royalty is a pain in the ass because there are like ten different ways to refer to a princess like this is absurd pick one and be done with it.

FUN FACT: in Imperial Russia there's a title called Serenity. Your Serene Highness Princess Serenity sounds like a mouth full, no?

Disclaimer: I'm sick, and my patience is gone.

* * *

Time was of the essence.

I was stunned at what the crystal had helped me accomplish, of the sheer power it had gifted me, but I couldn't dwell on it; Jupiter would have felt that rush of energy, there was simply no way she could have missed it, so I needed to act quickly. I studied Jadeite for any signs of reacting, hovering over him and bringing my hands to his face, tilting it towards me. I tapped his cheek a few times, and then a bit harder.

His lashes fluttered before slowly opening.

Jadeite blinked, once, twice, as his vision worked to focus. A sound escaped him, somewhere between a sigh and a moan as he tried to turn his head. He seemed to be struggling to sit up so I backed up a bit and slipped my palms around his elbows to help bring him up. Jadeite was dazed, disorientated and as much as I wanted to wait for him to get his bearing, I feared we would not be given the time. I tilted his chin up to meet my gaze. "Jadeite, please, I know you're confused, but I need you to answer a question. Do you know who I am?"

Jadeite scanned me, wearily but with effort all the same, and I could see it the moment he realized. The widening of his grey eyes, how his lips parted and his brows rose ever so slightly. Jadeite's tone was a mix of astonishment, disbelief, and maybe even a little horror as he said, "Your Royal Highness… I…"

"No." I shook my head, firm yet gentle in my denial. "I am not her, I'm not Princess Serenity."

Jadeite furrowed his brows. "…No, you-"

"I'm Sailor Moon. Do you remember?" I exhaled, dropping the topic. One thing at a time Usagi. "Jadeite. I need you to listen to me, alright? We don't have much time, so you're just going to have to trust in what I say. Reveal nothing about the events of the past, do not tell anyone anything until we have had a chance to further speak, and under no circumstances are you to address me that way. Do you understand?"

He appeared to sense the gravity of my words, but whether Jadeite would listen I didn't know. He opened his mouth to speak, but at that moment the sliding door was thrown open and Jupiter appeared. Her expression turned from thunderous to surprised as she took the two of us in, and she faltered. From the looks of things, Jupiter had arrived with the intention of duking it out, and now that she saw this wasn't the case, she was more or less at a loss. "I- Holy… Usagi-chan, you did it!"

Her grin was bright as she moved to my side and clapped me on the back. Behind her Matsuo trailed, equally impressed; looking at him, I couldn't help but notice that he appeared a little disheveled. My narrowed gaze went from him to Jupiter, studying the two of them; she was flushed, all pink cheeks and red lips while Matsuo's shirt was creased as though someone had gripped it, his untamed hair more messy than usual. Upon meeting my gaze, Matsuo cringed, turning pink and I threw him a dirty look before turning my attention back to Jupiter.

"Do you think you could run and get him some water?"

"Yeah," Jupiter stood. "I'll be right back."

I waited as she left, footsteps padding softly against the wooden floor, until I was sure she was gone. Then I turned to Matsuo, who flinched and held his hands up, spitting the words out before I had a chance to say anything. "Look, you wanted me to keep her busy and I did, alright? Makoto-chan is a beautiful girl and she was giving me signals, _signals_ Usagi-chan, how was I supposed to deny a face like that? I can't be held responsible-"

"For the love of god, do not start with me right now." I snapped. "We have bigger issues to deal with. If you want to go out with her then just do it already; she's around all the damn time and it's not like you were ever actually listening to me in the first place." It stung, but I smothered the feeling for the moment.

One thing at a time.

"Look, Jadeite really cannot stay here tonight. We need to get this under control now before everything goes to hell in a hand basket. Either we can sneak him in the Tsukino residence or-"

"He can crash at my place." Matsuo said. "I don't want to risk making any more problems at your house right now."

I hesitated, unsure; the last thing I wanted to do was put him out or bring any more danger anyway near him, but at the moment my options were limited. "Thank you. It's temporary, just until I can figure out what to do with him."

A loud crash sounded just then from further in the house, followed by a cacophony of stampeding footsteps. I jumped to my feet in alarm, arm instinctively going to Matsuo's back as he swiveled around to face the door; his shoulders straightened, knees bending as he took on a defensive stance. In any other situation, I might have taken a moment to comment on the backwardness of this; he never shut up about me being Super Usagi, but when push came to shove he was the one standing protectively in front of me. I had a hand gripping the back of his shirt, ready to yank the two of us out of the way if needed.

But then Mars tumbled into the room with Luna at her feet, followed by Venus; both in their Scout uniforms and, surprisingly, with a tagalong. Mamoru was right on their heels, and when Mars came to an abrupt halt he just managed to catch Venus from slamming into the other girl's back. He let go as soon as she was steady, and what's more, Venus even looked over her shoulder and gave him a short, but genuine thanks. It had only been five days since that battle in the park; when had they found the time to settle their differences?

Mars looked from Matsuo, to me, to Jadeite, and then back to me. She spoke hurriedly, out of breath and alert. "I sensed it, the moment the wards were broken, I thought it might have been the Dark Kingdom. Is everything okay? Where's Makoto-chan?"

"Right here, actually." Jupiter said, startling the lot of us. She was in the doorway behind the scouts, glass of water in hand. "I heard you guys coming in, and followed the sound of the noise. Everything's good though, Usagi-chan managed to purify him."

Mars whipped her head back to me, tone that of sheer disbelief as she murmured, "That was _you?_ "

I blinked. "Yeah. Is that really so surprising?"

Whether she was insulting me or not, I couldn't really tell but at this point I had grown so used to her remarks that they hardly fazed me anymore. Mars shook her head, brows furrowing as her gaze drilled into me. "No, you don't understand. The wards didn't just go down or break apart; they were _shattered_ , decimated. That's… I've never felt anything like it before. To be able-" Mars cut off suddenly, jaw tightening.

Venus stepped around her, taking hold of the conversation and the room at large. "So then, your attempt was a success?" She examined Jadeite curiously, and Luna padded over to give the man a closer inspection. Jadeite, however, paid them no mind; his attention was solely on Mamoru, gaze drowning in apology and guilt. "Prince Endymion…" He choked, struggling to get to his feet. I turned around and aided him, though he seemed to have trouble standing in general.

I eyed him. "You're in no position to be standing on your own."

He didn't listen, and I sent Mamoru a look, one that said _Say something already._

His gaze went to Jadeite's, and slowly, Mamoru walked over. He took my place as Jadeite's support and eased the man back down to the ground. "You should probably sit, if you aren't feeling well. There's no need to stand, not for my sake."

Jadeite was at a loss for words.

"What… What _is_ that?" Luna questioned, and as one everyone followed her line of sight to the crescent moon adorning Jadeite's brow. "Where on earth did you get that mark? You are not a descendent of the Moon Kingdom. The color…"

Oh, right. "It, uh, might possibly be from me. It happened when I broke the enemy's hold on him."

Luna's sharp gaze fell on me. Her eyes flickered to my brow momentarily before focusing back on my face. "How exactly was it that you accomplish this again?"

With the help of the Silver Crystal, but she didn't need to know that.

Luna's relentless gaze had begun to give me unsettling vibes, but I didn't show it as I shrugged. "I'm not exactly an expert here, but since you asked I'd probably say by the celestial power of the motherland? You know, Guardian of the Moon, descendant of its kingdom, blessed with remarkable powers like the rest of your team? Rather straight forward, if you stop to give it some thought."

"I have, actually." Venus interjected. She stared at me, not in a particularly kind or menacing way, but more… musing; like an interesting new riddle, one she was slowly unraveling. "Given it some thought, that is."

"Oh?" I replied neutrally, relaxing my stance. Venus tilted her head, studying me as she advanced. I kept my gaze on her, that fight or flight instinct growing louder with each step she took. Venus was perhaps my biggest threat, a natural born leader with the most experience hunting her prey. How easy it was to forget this, when she chirped and teased and gossiped with the others or threw withering glares my way. The difference between Venus and the evil whatsit was that Venus wasn't really trying.

She merely lacked the motivation to come after me.

"Mercury's specialty is water." Venus began. "Jupiter's, thunder and lightning. Mars uses flames and my powers more or less fall into the realm of light. Your powers, from what I've observed, don't fall into any elemental category."

"Yes, very astute of you." I eyed her, uncertain as to just where she was going with this. "Is that all then?"

"The moon is most often associated with water." She went on, ignoring me. "Pulling the ocean tides, that sort of thing. Only, I get the feeling that water just isn't your specialty, or in your skill set at all. So if it isn't water, then based on what you've shown me, I can only guess that your powers lay within the realm of healing."

Venus seemed to be connecting dots to a picture that I couldn't see, and it was starting to put me on edge. This revelation of hers seemed to mean something, so for what purpose was she sharing it with me? Her voice lowered as she came to a stop in front of me, gaze probing, looking for something I didn't understand. Her voice was quiet as she said her next words, though in the dead silent room it didn't sound as hushed. "Back in the hospital; you healed Naru, didn't you?"

I stilled in surprise; that certainly wasn't where I had expected this conversation to go. She was wrong though, I hadn't done anything for Naru; the girl had recovered on her own, the district's very own walking miracle.

Right?

Suddenly, I wasn't so sure and that seemed to be enough for Venus. Her eyes brightened, the edge of her lips twitching upward in an action so miniscule that anyone else would have missed it. She was amused, like she'd won a prize and it rubbed me the wrong way; I tried not to bear my teeth as I acknowledged her theory. "What would it matter if I did or didn't?"

"Oh, it doesn't really." But her gaze was knowing, pleased. Venus had answers to questions I hadn't even been aware of, and from the expression she wore I gathered that whatever conclusion she was approaching could only spell trouble for me. The thought only served to throw my senses into high alert; some deep, animalistic part of me felt backed into a corner and screamed for retaliation, demanded the threat be eliminated.

I took a deep, calming breath, and silenced the feeling.

 _One thing at a time._

* * *

Jadeite was reluctant to leave Mamoru.

The Sailor Scouts, in turn, were reluctant to take their eyes off him, which was understandable. Jadeite had been causing terror all over Tokyo, and the scouts had been fighting off his attempts for months so of course now that the chance was here, they wanted to get as much information out of him as humanely possible. He was the key to securing the other Generals, and therefore the war; Jadeite was invaluable, and he presented an opportunity too good to pass up.

However, the final say belonged to me.

"I was the one taking care of him." Mars argued. "It was my house that he stayed in, protected under my wards, and if you think I worked so hard just to have him taken away then you are dead wrong."

"Plus," Venus added, "You're the one that said he was to be our ally; he's supposed to help us with our mission, so by right-"

"-By right, he is _mine_." I snapped. "You all seem to have forgotten who it was that gave you this opportunity. _I_ captured him, _I_ was the one that showed you his worth, and it was _me_ that purified the malevolent hold over him. Jadeite is my spoils of war, and I will not hand him over until my business with him is done."

Mars stepped forward threateningly, and I met her challenge. "Go on then, take him from me. I assure you that one General will not be enough to overthrow your enemy, but if you don't believe me then you are more than welcome to find that out for yourself. Take him, Mars; see if I'll be inclined to free the other three once they've been captured."

Her lip curled, but the priestess made no move to defy me.

They could not do this without my help.

"Matsuo," I addressed him, never taking my gaze off Mars. "Take Jadeite home, and make yourselves comfortable. I'll meet you when my business is finished here."

There was no more opposition to be found as Matsuo helped our guest up.

In the end, I think the only reason Jadeite left with Matsuo was because of my previous warning; no doubt he was anxious to hear what I had to say, and the reason behind my insistence he not call me princess. Mamoru's eyes followed him out the door, and it was easy to see that he too wanted to speak with Jadeite, likely to find out more about his tragic past life. I almost pitied Jadeite then, for he would be the one that had to explain to Mamoru why exactly this war had turned ugly so quickly.

It was not every day that your generals betrayed you and you failed to protect the love of your life.

"So, what now then?" Jupiter asked, eyes still firmly trained on the door. "I mean, now that we know it's possible, obviously capturing the rest of the Generals is the goal. The thing is, where are we going to keep them all? What's the long term solution?"

She made a surprisingly good point.

They couldn't stay with Matsuo, not forever anyway.

The temple was big, but somehow I doubted Mars' grandfather would be open to housing four random men for an extended period of time. The fact of the matter was that with the added presence of the Generals and Mamoru to their ranks, the Sailor Scouts needed a new base of operations. Somewhere they could do their training and scheming without arising any suspicion. I knew this, and yet the suggestion couldn't seem to push past my lips; after all, it didn't really concern me in the long run.

We weren't on the same team.

Plus, there was the fact that I now had another advantage up my sleeve; a blessing and curse it was. "You all can figure that out one your own time. Now that we know I can bring the General's to your side, I think it's time for us to come to an agreement."

"We'll capture them, and you'll heal their minds." Venus guessed. She didn't look all that thrilled, but really, what else had they expected?

"I'm giving you your best shot at winning this war." I reminded her quietly. "It's a more generous offer than any of you could have ever expected to receive."

Why was that not enough for them?

Venus didn't have anything to say to that, apparently, and neither did anyone else. She considered me for a long moment, then stepped aside, out of my path to the door; I took the opportunity, allowing the transformation to slip away and leaving them behind to discuss their own issues. I exited the house, painfully aware of the hair brushing at my calves, and as I made my way down the staircase, a thought dawned on me. The four of them had arrived within ten minutes of the wards breaking; ten minutes, when by all means they should have been across town.

Had Mamoru and the Scouts ditched Naru in the middle of her date?

They must have lured her to a nearby location, there was no other explanation as to how they arrived so quickly. It was possible that Venus and Mars had simply lied about going with Naru or changed their minds soon after, but that doesn't account for Mamoru. The whole event was off, but if I was right and Mamoru had ditched Naru at the last minute, followed by Mars and Venus…. Yikes.

Naru was going to be a nightmare tomorrow.

I spent the rest of the trip to Matsuo's on alert for the red headed girl, peeking around corners and the like to avoid ambush.

When I arrived at Matsuo's apartment unscathed, Jadeite was freshly showered and looked like a new man. The moment I entered, his gaze was on me, accusing and impatient. I slowed in my movements, unaware as to what had riled him up though Jadeite was kind enough to read my hesitation. "Ah, Sailor Moon; Matsuo-san here was just catching me up on a few things. He said something I found to be rather odd, about Princess Serenity's second life here as the daughter of jewelers, if I recall correctly."

Damn. I'd forgotten about that. Matsuo wouldn't have known that Jadeite knew better, so of course he'd have stuck with the lie. I turned to my friend. "Matsuo, you'll be late to work if you don't get going soon."

Matsuo glanced at the clock on the wall dismissively. "I could call Harumi."

"Yes, of course, and tell him you're too busy plotting the destruction of an empire to make it tonight?"

" _Kingdom_ , Usagi-chan. It's a Kingdom." He sighed, raking hand through his hair. "But it _is_ last minute, he probably won't be able to find a replacement in time. I'll have to go in, but he'll probably let me cut out early. Will you be here when I get back?"

I paused, really taking the time to look at him.

Matsuo was a bit shifty, and more serious than usual; he wanted to talk about something then. I swallowed a sigh, rubbing at a temple and nodding my agreement; I had homework and other things to work through tonight, but I couldn't just leave Jadeite alone when we were done speaking. The list of problems never seemed to end, did it? Matsuo shot me a grateful look and gave me free reign of the kitchen before heading out. The moment the door closed behind him, Jadeite pounced. "I sincerely hope you have an adequate explanation prepared."

Was that any way to speak to someone he (wrongfully) considered royalty?

I moved and sat on the couch beside him, legs crossed, and smiled. "I daresay our definitions of an adequate explanation will differ greatly. I assume you want the full, unadulterated version of events?"

"You would be correct in your assumption."

"I thought as much." I nodded passively. "Well, that's too bad then, because you won't be getting it. I'm not going to lie to you, Jadeite, but neither am I going to spill all my secrets to appease you. I don't have all the answers to your questions, but I do happen to have enough, so let's make a trade. I'll shine some light on whatever it is that plagues you, and in return I hope you might be able to answer a few questions of my own."

Jadeite looked vaguely scandalized at my words, but he was smart enough to realize that my mind wouldn't be changed. "Fine then. Firstly, explain to me why you are allowing a common girl to pose as the princess."

"Bear with me then." I said, gathering my thoughts. "Though I'm not entirely sure how it happened, somewhere along the way the Sailor Scouts simply decided that Naru was the princess they were looking for. I have absolutely no clue as to why or how they came to this conclusion, but I intend to drag it out for as long as humanly possible."

"…Is the rest of your knowledge this vague?"

"Rude." I didn't have time to solve every single mystery around me, and quite frankly, even if I did Naru simply wasn't all that high on the list. Information was valuable, but so was time and it just so happened that I had very little of that.

"Why though?" He seemed genuinely confused. "Why put a mere girl at risk as a decoy?"

"Because," I met his gaze head on. "This war we're in, it's only the beginning. The Silver Crystal will always attract the greed of others. If no one knows where it is, then no one can take it for themselves. The princess… she is dead, along with her people and her kingdom. The Silver Millennium is over, and the last thing we need is for a repeat of past mistakes. I am not Princess Serenity, I do not carry her memories and I hold no ties to your prince or the Sailor Scouts. My concern lies with the safekeeping of the Silver Crystal, and nothing more."

Jadeite was quiet, expression going from disbelief, to shock, to anger, to closing up entirely. He studied me, and after about a minute, he murmured, "You truly aren't her, are you?"

My smile was grim.

"If… if the princess is dead, then where is the Silver Crystal?"

"Hidden." I told him truthfully. "I have not laid eyes on it myself."

He leaned forward then, breaking our stare in order to rest his elbows on his knees, hands supporting his face. "Tell me then, why should I keep this secret from Prince Endymion? I serve under him, so what could you possibly have to say that would secure my silence? Do you intend to hold the debt I owe you over me?"

Thoughts of Serenity came to me then.

"I would never do that." My voice was soft, and Jadeite tilted his head to watch me. "It would be easy, wouldn't it? A neat solution to be sure, but at what cost?" Maybe I would have done it a few months ago, but things had changed. "I'm going to do what someone should have done for us long ago; I'm going to give you a choice, Jadeite. Reveal me and my intentions, or don't. It will be up to you, but know this; so long as the so-called true identity of the Moon Princess remains secret, the Silver Crystal is safe.

"I might be the closest thing to the Moon Princess, but make no mistake; I am not her. Is that not for the best anyway? Endymion died for her once, and if you give him the chance he'll probably try to die for her again. It would be a pointless sacrifice on his part; to die in vain, for the ghost of a love long lost."

Mamoru was stubborn, stupidly so; it would be better if he never learned the full truth.

Princess Serenity had died to be with him, and she wasn't coming back.

"…I see." Jadeite murmured. His expression was stricken, as though this pained him to say, but there was determination in his gaze all the same; he truly did see the severity of the situation. "You have my word then."

The tension in me eased.

Finally, finally, the victory was mine.

Now all I had to do was keep it.

* * *

Matsuo returned later than expected.

While we waited, I cooked Jadeite and myself dinner, and he kept his end of the deal by answering the questions I had. I phrased them carefully, asking only what I deemed to be the most critical questions, ones that I doubted others would think to ask. I knew that whatever information he gave to the Scouts would eventually circle its way back around to me anyway, so I didn't linger on the obvious.

What Jadeite told me was rather interesting.

Queen Beryl did not have the unlimited resources that I had expected. The youma serving under her had to be made, a process that was not easy. They were loyal to her, unsurprisingly, but their strengths lied in harvesting energy. Queen Beryl had a few high rank youma that would undoubtedly cause some trouble. I might have slipped a suggestion or two his way, mentioning how I would deal with a problem like that. We seemed to be on the same train of thought concerning the enemy, which was nice.

Queen Beryl, and the thing she was feeding energy to needed to be destroyed before it gained too much power.

Hopefully, the Scouts would realize the same thing.

After dinner I left Jadeite to his own devices, allowing him to rest in the spare bedroom while I waited for Matsuo's return. When my friend finally made it home, I was half asleep, spread out on the couch. Upon seeing me, he said, "Sorry, it was a busy night. I didn't wake you did I?"

"No." But then I yawned, and he sent me an unconvinced look. "I'm awake, really."

Matsuo hummed but didn't push the subject. "Up for another hair cut?"

"God, yes." I stood quickly, making him laugh. "Hey, sitting on your hair hurts, okay?"

We moved to the kitchen, where, after retrieving the scissors Matsuo plopped down into her chair. I sat myself on the floor at his feet, head leaning back in pleasure as his hands ran through my hair, gathering the locks. He began snipping, and as the weight of my hair lightened I found myself murmuring, "You should ask Harumi to teach you how to cut hair."

"I would," Matsuo began, "But he's a bit cross with me at the moment. Thanks for that, by the way."

"It's Harumi." I said, as if that explained everything, which it kind of did.

"Fair enough." He answered. "Still, if your hair is going to keep growing every time you transform, we're going to have to come up with a different solution here."

I sighed. "I'll add it to the list."

After that I let him work in silence, not wanting to distract him. I tried not to get lost in my own thoughts, or the ever present line of problems that hovered at the back of my mind. Just for this brief moment, I wanted to pretend that none of them existed; that I lived without a care in the world. During the half hour it took Matsuo to cut my hair, I remained in blissful ignorance. It was fleeting though, and as soon as he was satisfied with his work, that tension, worry, came back into the air.

I closed my eyes, counted to six, and stood. "Let's have it then."

"You don't want me dating Makoto-chan." Matsuo stated. He gestured for me to take the seat next to him at the table, and waited until I sat before adding, "I… I really like her."

I swallowed, hollowly replying, "Yeah, I know."

Hearing him acknowledge it, it killed me in ways I had never imagined possible. I hated it, _hated_ that this was happening, that he felt this way; it was probably the worst thing he could ever say to me, and I could do nothing about it. What did you say in a situation like this? He was my best friend, so how did I ask him to forget about the girl he liked, how could I possibly deny him his own happiness? I couldn't, not to him, never to him.

But oh, how badly I wanted to.

 _Not her, anyone but her._

I didn't want this life for him, this future ripe with danger and violence. Jupiter would always be part of whatever battle came hurtling this way, she was never going to break free from it, and even worse, she could eventually end up dragging Matsuo into it. One day, someone would want to hurt her, and they would realize they could do it through him; Jupiter was going to be his downfall, and as long as she was around…

He was never going to leave with me.

Those dreams I had of the two of us, getting away from this nightmare; they had gone up in flames. Matsuo was never going to turn his back on the supernatural world, or her; he just wasn't that kind of person. I looked at him then, at the struggle in his gaze and the tight lines on his face and I knew; he would not chase her until he was certain he had my blessing, even if it made him unhappy, he would wait.

"I have to go." I choked, moving to my feet. He reached out to stop me, but I scurried out of reach. "Just- I don't want to discuss this. If Jupiter makes you happy, and god knows she does, then you should be with her. She's smitten with you, so don't put this decision on me. I am _not_ a part of your relationship."

"Usagi-"

"Do you understand?" Under my stare he nodded. "Then let's drop it alright? I haven't decided if I'm going to school tomorrow, so if not then I'll swing by and pick Jadeite up; the Scouts will be glad to have him."

Neither of us spoke, and after a heartbeat I turned and walked away, unable to stand looking at him or another second. I closed the door to his apartment behind me, and walked off into the night, ignoring the pressure at my temples and the tightness of my throat. I wandered without much thought, focused on simply getting away and putting some distance between me and that place. It didn't matter how far I walked though, or for how long; the truth couldn't be escaped from, and eventually I was forced to stop and face it.

I had lost him.

There would be no convincing him to flee with me.

I couldn't stay here, wouldn't stay; I had already vowed to myself, I would not die in this town, not for a war I wanted no part of, and not for a bunch of strangers. Matsuo wanting to stay… it changed nothing. One way or another, I was fleeing this city; the only difference was that now when I went, I would be leaving him behind. It was going to happen slowly, I knew; Matsuo liked Jupiter, but he would never betray me to her. Still, that didn't mean I could continue to confide in him, not when the secrets I knew had the possibility to put a strain on their relationship.

I didn't want to lose him, but… I couldn't hurt him either.

I wouldn't put him in that position, where he would have to choose between keeping my secrets or helping Jupiter. The only way to spare him from that any further is to keep him out of the loop. I wouldn't be able to bounce ideas off him or rely on his help when it came down to it. I couldn't shake my own feeling that the day would come where, for whatever reason, the Scouts finally decided to come after me. I felt that sooner or later, it was going to happen, and when that day came how could I ask Matsuo to aid me?

I wouldn't be able to.

It was a knife to the chest.

I doubled over, arms wrapped around my torso and took one deep shuddering breath after another. _One thing at a time, one thing at a time, it will be okay, one thing at a time._ But the problems just kept building and building and building, never ending no matter how many I tore through. Fixing the generals, staying ahead of the scouts, keeping the Tsukino family at bay, trying to survive Naru and whatever the hell she was doing to me, keeping the Silver Crystal safe, constantly burying the royal identity attached to me.

Losing aikido, losing the dojo, losing my last sanctuary, losing my best friend.

 _One thing at a time._

The hair on the back of my neck prickled, standing on end.

Suddenly, I could feel it; at the center of my back, burning between my shoulders.

I was being watched.

* * *

I froze where I was as the certainty hit me.

I was not alone.

Slowly, I picked my head up, scanning the area in front of me, looking for anything familiar. It was then that I realized I had no idea where I was; the street was sparsely lit, lined on both sides by warehouses looking abandoned and half forgotten. Not a single light was on in any of the buildings, and not a single person to be found.

The neighborhood was dead silent, and without sign of life.

My own heartbeat, quick and echoing in my ears, felt like the loudest sound for blocks. I stood, and reluctantly turned, not because I wanted to but because there simply was no other option. The opposite direction looked no different to me, just as dark and lifeless; it took me a moment of staring to see it. There, at the end of the street, barely visible in the dark, was a figure standing in the middle of the road. My breath caught the moment it registered, and then I couldn't tear my gaze away.

It moved then.

Each step it took seemed to echo, bouncing off the buildings around us as it closed in on me. My feet were lead, frozen in place on the ground; my mind was blank, and I watched in horror as the figure approached, caught in an echoing trance of footsteps and the racing of my heart. Faintly, I thought to myself that I should go, run, but the thought just wouldn't stick; I couldn't move, couldn't stop looking. Somehow, without getting a clear view of it, I just knew; that was not an ordinary human. The air felt heavy with intent, and I felt small, feeble under its weight.

I blinked, and it was two feet away, hand reaching right for me.

I snapped to life, twisting out of the way and kicking out desperately.

The figure dodged.

It laughed then; a smooth, baritone sound, and somehow it was that noise that unraveled me.

 _Fight or Flight_

 _Fight or Flight._

Fight or flight was no longer an option, no longer a concept as adrenaline began coursing through my veins. I was a cornered animal, and this figure was the one standing in my way.

The threat.

A scream, and I _pounced_ , knocking us to the ground.

The figure wheezed, caught off guard and without breath; I did not hesitate. I slammed my fists into it's face, again, again, again, until it finally reacted, flipping us and trying to pin me down. I cracked my forehead into it's own, making the figure reel back slightly. It was enough though, more than enough to kick and struggle; my hands were slick though, and I couldn't seem to keep a lasting grip. The figure pressed down, using it's weight against me and when my mouth came into contact with it, I bit down onto flesh. Blood filled my mouth, and the figure cursed, landing a blow to the right side of my face, once, twice, but I wasn't letting go. It ended up yanking me off by my hair.

Tears stung my eyes at the pain, and I bared bloody teeth.

Something red shot between us then, and the figure jerked away to avoid the object.

A rose.

I stared at it stupidly, taking my attention off the figure of only a fraction of a second.

My attacker was tackled then, pinned as the person on top wound his arm back and slammed his knuckles into the figure. There was a crack as he did it again, and then once more; by then my attacker was no longer moving. Panting, Mamoru turned, gaze landing on me immediately; he moved off the figure, kneeling in front of me as I stared up at him.

"Christ, Usagi." His hands hovered, gaze running down the length of me as if he didn't even know where to start. " _Why_ , what are you doing in a neighborhood like this?"

I shivered, unable to choke the words out.

Mamoru's eyes widened, and then he was no longer hesitating. His arms went around me, and I found myself burying my face into his chest, fingers gripping the fabric of his tux. A gasp escaped me, followed by another; Mamoru held my shaking body, one of his hands threading through my hair. "It's okay, you're okay. I've got you, Usagi-chan, you're safe now."

He continued to hold me as my trembling eased and breathing calmed, murmuring reassurances into my ear all the while. When I finally came to my senses, it took everything I had to release the death grip I had on his shirt, to pull away and stumble to my feet. I didn't want to get up, didn't want to see the face of what had come after me; more than anything I would have liked to stay in his embrace, under the illusion of safety that he so effortlessly conveyed. That was the issue though, we weren't safe yet, I wasn't safe yet and my mind would not allow me to pretend otherwise.

The threat was still there.

In the dimly lit street it had been hard to get a look at the figure; at the time, I had been more concerned with staying alive. Now though, it was out cold, and I needed to see. It was bloody, sprawled on the ground with dark, long hair covering it's face. Fear thrilled up my spine, nausea welled up in me and my legs felt heavier with every step, but I approached despite my body's adamant refusal. I crouched down next to the figure, finally getting a better look at it; Just as I convinced myself to reach out and brush the hair obscuring it's face away, the clothes it wore registered in my mind.

A uniform.

A very familiar, military one.

"Oh my god."

* * *

Matsuo opened the door and jumped out of his skin at the sight of us.

It was a fair reaction, really.

The blood had dried around my mouth, and from the throbbing at the right side of my face, I could only assume it was bruising nicely. Mamoru's tux was stained with blood, likely from me and between the two of us was an unconscious man, beaten to high hell. So I couldn't really blame the stupefied look on his face; he scrambled backwards, holding the door open wide enough for the three of us to enter. We managed to stumble in and make it over to the couch, depositing our new acquaintance onto it.

"What the hell happened?" Matsuo looked to me. "My god, Usagi-chan; are you okay?"

"Get Jadeite please." I plopped down onto the coffee table and raked a hand through my hair. "We found another General."

He looked from me, to Mamoru, then back to me. "Well, damn."

Matsuo disappeared down the hall, off to wake the blonde. I glanced at the clock, which now read 11:30, and groaned; I was never getting sleep tonight.

"Hey." Mamoru said, startling me. I looked up, focusing on him as he continued. "Before, why didn't you transform into Sailor Moon? Were you taken by surprise or ambushed?"

I paused, gaze travelling downwards to the brooch on my school uniform.

It… had completely slipped my mind.

In the heat of the moment, I had been panicked and it never even occurred to me. I'd only become Sailor Moon twice; I wasn't used to having super powers, so when my life was in danger, my instinct had been to fall back on what I knew. Months and months of aikido, of thinking the strength of my own two hands was all I had, had put me in a dangerous mindset. A laugh escaped me, slightly unhinged, and Mamoru shifted uncomfortably as I looked back up to him, an empty grin on my face. "I told you I wasn't meant for this sort of thing."

He opened his mouth, but when he couldn't find the proper words Mamoru pressed his lips together and looked away, dropping the subject. My eyes drifted over to the General's slumped form on the couch, and I flinched. Fighting him, it had been so different from Jadeite and the park. Being the victim was terrifying; I had frozen in fear until it'd been too late to run, and if Mamoru hadn't intervened…

I shuddered, tearing my attention away.

It had been _nothing_ like my last fight; this one had been far, far worse. Maybe it was because this time, I had been entirely alone; this time, there had been nothing to keep me going, no injured Matsuo to make me rise up, vengeful and willing to do anything to protect him. It had been just me, and this time I hadn't been angry, but frightened.

How paralytic fear could be.

Matsuo returned to the living room with a tired Jadeite trailing in his wake. The blond rubbed his eyes tiredly, before looking up and catching sight of us and freezing in place. His wide eyed gaze surveyed the three of us, and it seemed to take him a moment to decide where exactly to focus. Finally, he looked to the man on the couch, tone shell shocked as he muttered, "You captured Nephrite."

I sent Nephrite a contemplative glance. "Well… sure. I think he might have been trying to capture me, in the beginning. Only he didn't seem to have any clue who I was."

After all, I'd managed to catch him off guard; it was a feat that wouldn't have been possible had he been expecting a Sailor Scout. That was twice now I'd been attacked by a General unaware of who I was.

"Oh." Jadeite said, something having dawned on him. "I see. He was trying to make you into one of his servants; have a youma possess you. He had no idea what he was getting himself into when he targeted you." He sent his comrade a sympathetic look, as though he understood his plight, and muttered something under his breath.

"So it was just a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time." Matsuo commented. I got the feeling he wasn't talking about me, and he only strengthened the feeling by saying, "Poor bastard. I mean, lucky for us of course, but still, rather unfortunate for him."

Jadeite hummed in agreement, and I sent the two of them a dirty look. "I'm right here."

Mamoru didn't appear to agree with them though.

His gaze was knowing as he watched me, the only one here that had seen my desperate struggle. He was the only one that knew how shaken up it had left me, and somehow, I couldn't stand the thought. What I would give to go back and put on a tougher front; hadn't I said it before though? I wasn't brave. Matsuo had seen me take on men twice my size, but they had been mere humans; the Scouts and Jadeite had only my performance in the park to go off of. From Mamoru's expression, he seemed to the sole person beginning to understand that I hadn't been exaggerating my fear.

I sighed, unwilling to deal with any of this right now. "If I'm going to purify Nephrite, I'll need to concentrate and I can't do that with people staring. Out, all of you."

I stood and ignored their protests, shooing them into the spare room.

"This is my apartment you know." Matsuo said.

"You can all come out when I'm done, and not before. Give me fifteen minutes, talk about your hopes and dreams for the future or something. Bond over your manliness, I don't really care so long as this door stays closed." The three of them gave me perturbed looks, but before anyone could say anything I slammed the door shut.

Returning to the living room, I eyed Nephrite.

He really was beat to hell; nose broken, bloodied face beginning to swell and bruise.

 _A better person would heal him._ I thought idly as I clasped my brooch.

"Moon Prism Power, Make Up."

I wasn't a better person.

* * *

A/N

Sorry for the short chapter, would have done more but I am sick as all hell (thank you, flu season), and I just got a promotion at my hellish work with new, horrific hours, so I wanted to post this while I had the time and livelihood to do so. Not my best work by any means but I'll make up for it. To those of you darling readers that can't stand the MakotoxMatsuo pairing, that's totally okay, I can respect that.

But boy do I have some bad news for you guys…..

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	14. Chapter 14

Nephrite and Jadeite stared at Venus from their places on either side of me.

Venus stared back.

For a good minute, all was silent as she took the two of them in from head to toe, scrutinizing the Generals, though for what I couldn't possibly say; probably to make sure that they indeed were who she thought they might be. Venus opened her mouth to speak, then closed it, looked between the two, then to me, and back to them (cue mouth opening and closing). Finally, she set her sights of me and let out a distressed, frustrated noise, gesturing wildly to the Generals as though she expected an explanation.

I shrugged. "Buy one get one free?"

Venus looked two seconds from exploding when Mercury slipped around her, holding the door wide open for us to enter. "Why don't we take this inside."

I sent Jadeite a blinding smile, waving him forward. "Ladies first."

Both boys appeared affronted, but they entered anyway. Mercury closed the door, bringing up the rear of our procession as Venus led us down the hall; my muscles tensed on instinct, hair at the back of my neck rising though I did my best to quell the growing anxiety. Quietly, I allowed myself a few calming breaths, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly in an attempt to ease the pickup in my heartrate.

 _Mercury is not going to harm you._ I told myself firmly. _She may not be a complete marshmallow like Jupiter, but she isn't rash or stupid either. Trust in Mercury's intelligence, in your own value if nothing else._

I didn't know why this was bothering me so much.

Still, the more I rationalized to myself, the more the words seemed to work. I had just handed the Scouts two Generals on a silver platter, proving my worth and Mercury would be an absolute fool to attack me now. She had no clear reason to anyway, no actual motive; sure, I'd all but spat on everything Mercury stood for as a Sailor Scout, but at the same time I had all but thrown them the key to winning this war. Mercury was human, she had emotions just like everyone else, but unlike most people she wasn't one hundred percent ruled by what she felt.

Mercury had her intelligence to fall back on.

Really, I was more likely to face an attack from Mars than her. Wait, no, that wasn't the point here. The point, nub, and gist of it all was that I had nothing to fear from the Scout behind me (for now), because she had no logical reason to hurt me at this moment in time; my usefulness far outweighed any satisfaction she might receive from, say, strangling me or bashing my head onto the wooden floor.

Christ, now I had that image stuck in my head.

"Usagi-san?" Mercury murmured. I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of her voice. I slowed in my movements, turning my attention to the girl and she took that chance to match pace with me. She eyed me, gaze flickering down my form before settling back on my face. Her tone was sympathetic as she said, "Rough night, huh?"

Was she… was she trying to make small talk with me? Surely not; perhaps Mercury was simply trying to be cordial, or get on my good side. Whatever the case, now that she wasn't hovering at my back I felt more confident, so I indulged her. "Um, yeah, something like that."

Mercury nodded. After a pause, she gestured to the bruise decorating the right side of my face. "That looks rather nasty. I have a cream in my bag you could put on it if you'd like."

"Oh." My hand lifted, fingers hovering but not quite touching the mark. It still hurt. I had forgotten to heal myself in the aftermath, and though I knew I should probably transform at some point and fix it, the thought was fleeting. I had stayed up all night, and after that fight I was far too tired to care about a bruise or the effort it would take to heal it. "Thank you, then."

Mercury gave a small smile in turn, and the conversation was dropped as we reached the back of the house. The room Jadeite had previously been held in was large enough to fit the lot of us easily; when we entered, Mamoru and the rest of the scouts were there, and, to my surprise, so was Matsuo. He and Mamoru were across the room by the window, heads bent together and speaking quietly; they stopped after catching sight of me, sharing one last glance before turning to face us.

Then, the lines were drawn.

I took up a spot against the wall to my right and Matsuo joined me as Nephrite and Jadeite trotted over to their prince. Mamoru remained where he was, arms crossing through his expression grew almost soft at his two new companions; they, in turn, looked at him as though he was the sun their worlds spun around. When taking those expressions into account, it was no wonder that they were growing on him; it was hard to be cross with someone when they treated you with undying devotion.

Across the room from me, the Sailor Scouts had taken up their own wall.

As I considered our positions, I had two train of thoughts going; firstly, that this moment held more importance than anyone else could understand, and it'd only been ten seconds since I'd entered. Our positions alone said enough about the current situation and the state of alliances. Mamoru and the Scouts had come to an agreement and had decided to join forces, from what I had seen they appeared to be on good terms with one another. They undoubtedly had an alliance, and yet instead of joining them on that side of the room, Mamoru had taken up his own position separate from them.

They were on the same side, but Mamoru still considered himself on a team of his own; having Nephrite and Jadeite at his side only strengthened that feeling.

It could be subconscious, of course, but the fact of the matter was that he didn't see himself as one of them. I filed that information away for later and turned my attention to the Scouts; for their part, they appeared calm, far less aggressive then before. Yesterday, Venus had been more predatory, and Mars territorial; yesterday they had blocked the door, but today the path was clear. They had every intention of playing this nice then, a feat that would be much easier with Mercury to balance them out.

This was all crucial important information, but it only held with me for a moment before a more pressing matter dawned upon me. Mamoru was here; Venus, Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, they were all here and it was eight thirty, meaning school had already started. It wasn't really any of my business, certainly not my job either but… "Hey, if everyone is here, than who's with Naru?"

Mamoru stilled.

Slowly, he looked over to the Scouts, as if doing a head count. Venus did not appear fazed in the slightest though; reading his mind, she replied, "Don't give me that look. Luna and Artemis are on the job."

"They are cats." I pointed out. Naru wasn't in any danger, and really it was no skin off my back, but they didn't know that.

I stifled my amusement as Venus snapped. "They're celestial guardians, not domesticated animals. The princess is fine, alright?"

"I believe you," I began passively. "I'm just wondering how well Naru is going to take all this; you know, being ditched on her date, half her friends bailing as well, and then showing up to school this morning with only poor Yumiko around. She'll probably think you're all out having fun without her. Can't wait to deal with _that_."

Ikuko was under the assumption that I had spent last night at Naru's, and now it occurred to me that I probably would benefit from skipping school rather than trying to make peace with the girl. Naru would likely be frothing at the mouth today, and by the paling of Venus' complexion I could only assume she had come to the same conclusion. "We would never-"

"-Not my problem." I interjected, sighing. "Look, you guys are the ones that called for this meeting. I was perfectly content to drop those two off and be on my way, so maybe we should just get this over with."

Venus bit back whatever emotion threatened to boil over in her and breathed a soothing breath. "Fine, fine. I wanted to clarify the terms of your agreement with us; for starters, I was thinking it would be helpful to have a way to contact you. Despite the… unusual circumstances, we don't expect you to aid us in capturing the remaining Generals. Still, if you're going to purify them, then we need a way of contacting you the moment we have one in our custody."

I knew where she was going with this, and there was no way I was going to accept one of their communication devices. I was from the twenty first century for god's sake, I knew just how intrusive technology could be and I wasn't going to give them a chance to trace me or listen in on my conversations or anything other shady business. "If you have any messages and you find yourselves unable to contact me then-"

"You can pass them on to me." Matsuo interrupted. I met his gaze then, slightly surprised but his expression was unwavering. There was a hint of apology there as well, and I understood then; he knew I was upset about our fight, and this was his way of making amends. He broke our stare and addressed the others. "I know Usagi-chan like the back of my hand, even if I don't know where she is at any given time, it's never too difficult for me to find her."

He wasn't wrong, and that thought settled me somehow; my feet felt firmer against the ground and yet my heart heavier. Matsuo and I spent ninety percent of our time together, had walked half the city and knew each other's favorite haunts so it really wasn't a stretch to say we'd have little trouble finding one another should the need arise.

Venus was unsatisfied by Matsuo's offer, but before she could decline I added, "He can be our go between if you're truly concerned about communication. I would prefer it that way, actually." After all, the less we interacted, the better.

She pressed her lips together, but relented. "Alright. Secondly, it was agreed that the meeting place for the purification will be here at the temple. Do you have any problem with that?" I shook my head, and she continued. "Great. Hopefully this will be over soon, and your work will be done."

"I wouldn't count on it." Nephrite said. At the sound of his voice, a small chill went down my spine and his laughter from last night replayed in my mind without my permission. I crossed my arms and forced the echo away; Nephrite had the room's attention, and I focused on the empty space next to him as he spoke. "The Dark Kingdom was in a state of unrest after Jadeite disappeared and Queen Beryl was unable to locate him. I was told to proceed with caution when she sent me out; now that I am gone mere hours after my arrival here, it is unlikely that Zoisite and Kunzite will let their guards down."

"He's right." Jadeite agreed. "They aren't stupid. They'll be far more cautious now, and undoubtedly Queen Beryl won't take her eyes of them for a second. Capturing them without detection will be all but impossible at this point. The risk of exposure has doubled."

That was true.

Getting just one of them was going to be a trial, and by then there was simply no way Beryl was going to deploy her last General, not if she suspected what was being done to them. It was one thing to simply kill one of her servants, and another thing entirely to turn them against her; if she knew the truth, then she would either not allow the last General to leave her sight, or she'd just kill him herself to be rid of the problem. Kunzite and Zoisite needed to be taken in one fell swoop. An idea began to form in my mind, a way to accomplish the feat; it was dangerous, but… it would probably work.

I didn't speak my thoughts though, instead letting the concept stew.

I needed time to think it over first, weigh the risk and worth of such an idea.

After all, one rash decision and I could send us all to our deaths.

* * *

After the mutual understanding was made, the Scouts said they were off to school and for lack of anything better to do, I went off to work. I was the first to leave, and as I went I had a funny feeling that the rest of them would not be leaving so soon. I could have stayed, listened in, but frankly, being outnumbered was just a bit too much for me to deal with today. I put on my brave face when I made it to the Fabler, entering through the back and startling Harumi in his office. Five minutes later, he was staring at the sudden length of my hair.

"Localized hypertrichosis, you say?"

"Yes."

"…And it grows out this much in a matter of a few days?"

"Yes."

"…And that's why you let Matsuo cut your hair?"

"Pretty much."

Well," He murmured slowly, "I'm don't know whether to be thrilled or aghast. I mean, if your hair grows that fast then I can pretty much do anything with it; cut it into a bob one day, give you a million layers the next, it's all very exciting. At the same time though, why in god's name would you ever put your beautiful blonde locks anywhere near that fool and his scissors?"

"No, wait." I replied, caught on the first half of his words. "You aren't understanding right. It grows, like it _really_ grows but I'm starting a medication that's supposed to help the problem. It's not going to be like this every day."

Mostly because I doubted my ability to keep up with such a complex lie.

Harumi scoffed. "A problem? What part of this is a problem? Do you know what a problem is? A problem is having employees that don't show up to work, who do their jobs half-assed, a problem is being short on your bills, or your car breaking down; this, my dear, is not a problem. This is what I'd call a god given gift. Shame on you for trying to take it from me."

"Blame god for letting me cut it in the first place."

"Don't worry, I already do."

Well, alright then.

Harumi, bless his soul, was kind enough to shorten the length of my hair for me. Of course, it was with no small amount of sass and he left it longer than I might have liked, but I wasn't sitting on it anymore and that's what mattered. We chatted for a bit as he got me into makeup, him reminding me to be here bright and early Sunday morning while I tried to no avail to find out what next month's theme would be. It was a pity really, I kind of liked the 1920's; I was sad to see it go, and yet at the same time I was also excited to see what Harumi had dreamed into the world next.

It was just as he was finishing up that Harumi said something surprising.

"You know, maybe it time you got back into your aikido lessons."

I paused. "What?"

"Aikido?" He teased. "That martial art my brutish little brother is oh so fond of? You have met him before, yes?"

"I- Yes. What's your point here?"

Harumi lowered the brush from my face, and leaned forward ever so slightly to gaze into my eyes. I indulged him as usual, thinking this was just another one of his dramatics as with a serious expression he tilted my chin higher and I raised a brow in turn. Then however, he did something unexpected; instead of going into one of his usual rants, Harumi put down the makeup brush and allowed his fingertips to ghost over the right side of my face. It was only the faintest touch really, but it hurt nonetheless and I found myself flinching before I could think the action through. My breath caught as the implications hit me.

I had forgotten the bruise in my tired haze, and now Harumi had seen it.

Harumi's golden gaze darkened. "Usagi-chan, I would be very pleased if you would resume your aikido lessons. In fact, I'd like to insist upon it; free of charge, of course. Hajime would be happy to have you." His eyes drifted to something over my left shoulder, and he added, "Isn't that right, little brother?"

I froze for a millisecond as the words registered.

Then, at breakneck speed I whipped my head around; there casually leaning against the door, was Hajime-sensei. His head was cocked as he examined me, gaze narrowed in on the right side of my face, taking in every centimeter of the bruise before slowly drifting downward. I followed his line of sight down to my hands, specifically, the split skin and slight swell of my knuckles. Instinctively, my hands turned, palms facing up to hide the damage. Hajime-sensei stared at them a moment longer before meeting my gaze once more. "Monday, Wednesday, Friday. Same time as always."

At a loss for words, I nodded blankly.

Hajime-sensei turned then, preparing to leave when something seemed to strike him and he paused, calling over his shoulder, "Haru-nii, don't forget her back."

What?

He left, and I blinked, looking to Harumi before twisting in my chair in an attempt to view my back in the mirror. It was pointless though, the t-shirt I wore belonged to Matsuo, and it covered my back entirely; what was Hajime-sensei talking about? Harumi turned me back to face him. "Stop moving, I'm not done with you yet. It's going to take a pound of makeup to hide that bruise."

I stifled a sigh and sat still as he finished.

Harumi didn't mention it again, and I was grateful; I didn't have an excuse planned, and I really, really didn't want to blatantly lie to his face if it wasn't absolutely necessary. By the time I finally made it out onto the floor it was ten thirty and the café was filled with a steady flow of customers. I spent the morning manning the front end; filling to-go orders, answering the phone, seating customers, and selling baked goods from the display case. It was a nice break from the usual chaos of waiting tables, but it also served to leave me with a bit too much down time on my hands.

Free time and I did not go well together.

My mind jumped between last night with Nephrite and then the meeting this morning. It hadn't been particularly hard to convince Nephrite to keep his mouth shut; surprisingly, Jadeite had been in my corner, and together it didn't take long to make the dark haired man see just how disastrous it would be to out me to his beloved prince. Like Jadeite, he too had a silver crescent moon marking on his brow, and I couldn't help but wonder as to the purpose of it. What did it mean, and why did it keep happening to begin with?

I could find no answers though, and I knew that only time would tell.

Then there was the matter of this morning; each time I thought back over it something new seemed to stand out to me. I suspected between the lot of them they had managed to come up with a new base of operations. Venus wouldn't bring an enemy into her home base, which meant neither I nor a brainwashed General would be visiting any time soon. Using the temple was her way of keeping the situation under control, it was Sailor Scout territory, and already well known to me; they wanted to keep an eye on me the next time I had a General to cleanse, no doubt.

As if I would make it so easy.

Venus would soon find that, no matter how hard she tried to keep tabs on me, I would keep slipping out of her reach. She had no idea who she was dealing with, and to be honest, part of me was just daring her to overstep. Matsuo wasn't coming with me like I had wanted, and The Fabler had been exposed; I was out of safety nets, and the only thing keeping me here at this point was the last two Generals. Once they were on Mamoru's side, my work here would be done, there would be no more delays. I didn't care if winter was closing in, or whether I had enough money or the proper skills to protect myself.

Once all four Generals were restored, I was gone.

There was nothing left to keep me here.

* * *

I took an hour break around two thirty, and then moved on to waiting tables.

Harumi tutted, but he didn't shoo me away like I thought he might; more than likely he was simply waiting for the dinner shift to kick me out, knowing that if he tried now I'd just return later on in the day. I was tired, but two cups of coffee later and I was ready to take on the world again and bend it to my will. I was vibrating with energy as I danced from table to table, smiling cheerfully and taking orders like there was no tomorrow. My mood started out okay, on the positive end of the spectrum, and just as I was beginning to think that the world wasn't a series of complete and total disasters, a familiar face sat himself in my section.

"Good afternoon, Usagi-chan." Kai grinned up at me charmingly. "You're looking stunning as usual. How is everything?"

I very careful did not panic, falling back on formality. "Hello, Kai. I've been doing well, and you? Here alone today?"

Mentally, I might have been screaming.

Why did he have to be here? I knew our regulars, and Kai most certainly wasn't one of them; was Mamoru here as well? If he was, what did that mean exactly; did he plan to let my job slip to the Sailor Scouts or was he waiting for the opportune moment? It was what I would do, wait and let my presence be known, so that the person knew who had the power here.

"It's just me." Kai confirmed. "We have midterms coming up at the end of October, so most of my classmates are already hitting the books. I, however, have the strangest craving for a milkshake and fries, so here I am."

"Of course." My muscles relaxed at his explanation. "Wait. It's a little early to be studying for midterms, isn't it? It's the middle of September, that's over a month away."

He shrugged. "The school I attend is prestigious; big money, high standards, that sort of thing. Everyone's either a genius, or wealthy." Kai leaned forward in his chair, gaze enthralling and smile becoming a teensy bit devilish as he waved his hand dismissively, "Enough about me though. Why don't you tell me more about you, Usagi-chan. What school do you attend?"

I actually laughed then. "Nice try. I prefer to keep that part of my life separate from this one. Now, shake and fries, yes? Chocolate, strawberry, or vanilla?"

Kai leaned back once more, arm perched at the back of his chair as he tilted his head, humming. "What's your preference?"

"Depends on my mood."

"Oh?" He perked up at this. "Well, now you have to tell me."

I sighed, but found myself amused all the same.

I knew guys like Kai; flirty, talkative, and usually harmless. Did I particularly want him here? No. I didn't want to give him an excuse to drag Mamoru back here or mention me to him; still, my feelings weren't going to change the fact that Kai was sitting at this table. If I couldn't have my way, then I was going to go play along until I could fix the matter. "Vanilla is _the_ classic flavor; it's a rainy day shake, simple and sweet, not too overbearing. It's the kind you get when complicated piles up. Easy and mixes well with pretty much everything."

Kai nodded sagely, a glimmer in his gaze as he gestured for me to continue.

"Chocolate is your comfort flavor; it's brain power, a pick me up, the kind of shake you want after a long day. You can get a chocolate shake with anything, but it's more rich than vanilla, definitely a desert in its own right and a good standalone. Strawberry, on the other hand, falls somewhere between the two. It's a sunny day shake, perfect for an amiable mood; it is neither overpowering nor simple, the perfect blend. It can be a snack, or go with your meal. Sort of the jack of all trades, best when dipped into your fries in my opinion."

He just looked at me, pleasantly surprised.

"I'm very passionate about my work." I replied defensively. "And you're the one that asked."

"That I did." Kai chuckled. He looked at me for a moment longer before adding, "I think I'd like a strawberry shake with those fries, please."

I nodded, scribbling down his order as I went to fill it.

After that, Kai chatted with me a few times, but as things started picking up I was able to escape actual conversation with him. He stayed for about an hour and a half, taking his sweet time eating while splitting his attention between me and one of his textbooks. Why he stayed so long, I didn't know; when Kai finally left, I was relieved to see him go, and yet at the same time it had been nice, interacting with him. To Kai, I was just a cute waitress, one that he liked to tease and flirt with and it was a novel experience, having someone look at me and see a normal girl.

I wondered if that was what my life would be like when I finally left this wretched town.

Still, despite the novelty Kai had brought with his appearance I was more than okay with him never returning. There was nothing wrong with him per say, it was just the fact that his presence only served to remind me that The Fabler was no longer a safe haven. At the end of the day, Kai was connected with Mamoru, and therefore his appearance felt similar to an intrusion. I loved this café, and I wanted to be happy here for whatever remaining time I had left, so something had to be done.

But first, I really needed some sleep.

When my shift ended, Harumi lent me some concealer on my way out the door. I went back to the Tsukino residence and fell into bed, skipping dinner entirely. Falling asleep at six o'clock is never a good idea; it was only thanks to my sleep deprivation that I stayed down for eleven hours. Sadly, I could not remain in bed forever, and under the oppressing weigh of Things Needing To Be Done Today, I crawled into the shower and got ready for the day.

I was pounding on Mamoru's door at the bright and early hour of seven a.m., on a Saturday no less, and it had to be said that part of me truly took joy in the thought of disturbing his sleep; if I couldn't get eight hours regularly, why should he? My knocking grew louder, and then Mamoru was ripping open the door, hand flashing out to grab my wrist. He looked half asleep, hair a bit disheveled, lashes fluttering the tiredness away, pretty blue eyes squinting out at me- hm.

So this is what it's like then, knowing a guy that even wakes up prettier then you.

I resisted the urge to rub his stupid face in some dirt, and instead gave him my best smile. "Morning Boy Scout. Lovely day we're having, isn't it?"

He blinked, releasing me. "How did you get into my building?"

He shuffled back before I answered and held the door open for me to enter so I supposed the question was more rhetorical than anything. I decided to answer anyway as I moved past him into the apartment, pausing at the entryway. "I buzzed one of your neighbors, and she was kind enough to let me in."

"Uh-huh." Mamoru replied shrewdly. "And what exactly did you say to convince her to let you in?"

"I told her I was returning from overseas and wanted to surprise my beloved boyfriend." He choked and I grinned. "You're surprised, so it wasn't a total lie."

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "What are you doing here, Usagi? You came for a reason, yes?"

"That friend of yours showed up to my work yesterday." I began, and that seemed to get his attention. "Kai; blond hair, lady killer smile, debonair attitude, I'm sure you know the one. Look, I'm trying to be civil by coming here because he's your friend, but I'd honestly prefer if he stayed away."

Mamoru's expression tightened ever so slightly with an emotion I didn't understand, and quietly, he said, "Kai went to your café?"

"Yes, sat himself in my section and everything. If you could just-"

"-Did he give you any trouble?"

I paused, shifting. "Well, no, he's nice enough I guess. It's just-"

"-You don't want to involve your boss if you don't have to?"

"Stop interrupting me." I huffed. "But yes. I don't want to make a big deal out of it and inconvenience my- look, will you just please do something about it? It's a place that means a lot to me and I don't need the stress."

Coming here had been hard enough. Now that I was sort of helping him out, I was hoping he would take a clue and keep his mouth shut about the Fabler. Mamoru inspected me for a second, and nodded. "Thanks for telling me. I'll see what I can do about him."

He sounded genuine, and something in his expression sealed my belief that he meant what he said.

Going to Mamoru had been the right move.

* * *

Confiding in Mamoru was quite possibly the worst decision I had ever made.

The next day, Kai showed up about two hours into my shift.

So did Mamoru.

Kai sat at one table, and Mamoru sat at another; the first time this happened, I caught Kai sending him glances, questioningly ones, then miffed, before finally settling on knowing looks. He never spoke with him inside The Fabler though, and for Mamoru's part he seemed to be content in ignoring Kai's presence entirely. Kai would sit down, order his usual, and then proceed to chat me up for whatever amount of time he could manage. When I was out on the floor, he split his time equally between watching me go about my job and whatever book he had brought to occupy himself with that day.

Mamoru, however, had found himself a different routine.

He would sit himself at the farthest table from Kai -usually in one of the far corners of whatever part of the room was my section for the day-, unpack his school bag, and proceed to work on homework or studying. Mamoru, to the best of my knowledge, appeared buried in his studies, only ever acknowledging me when I stopped by his table to check up on him. Or at least, that was how it seemed; countless times I was certain I could feel it, his gaze burning into me as I danced around the café and chatted with my customers. The problem was, every time I glanced his way, Mamoru was nose deep in his own work.

I couldn't help but think that maybe it was just me being paranoid, a combination of an embarrassingly high awareness of his presence and my own newfound skittishness.

There was no way of knowing though, and as September bled into October, I grew accustomed to the feeling. It grated on my nerves, because I didn't want either of them there in the first place; strange as it sounded, to me it felt like a hostile invasion of my happiness, and I fully resented them for it. I also resented myself a bit as well, for being too hesitant to do anything about them, so unwilling to risk pushing the wrong button that instead of taking action, I had resorted to more or less acclimatizing myself to the situation. Anything to keep the Fabler hidden from the Scouts for a little longer.

Being able to adapt to unfavorable circumstances was not always a good thing.

I didn't wallow, but only because I knew that my time at the Fabler was limited; that was why I chose to be happy and enjoy myself in spite of the unwanted company. To be honest, this was easiest to do when Mamoru was the one sitting in my cafe because the bastard was the least intrusive. Mamoru could not be at the Fabler every single time I had a shift though; after all, he had other commitments like Naru and the Evil Empire to take care of. So, in his _demented_ mind, the solution to this problem was to send one of the Generals in his stead.

It was difficult to say who was worse.

Nephrite, for some ungodly reason, seemed to find utter joy in wasting my time; I was his way of staving off boredom, and to my irritation Nephrite always had a million and one questions to ask. He also deemed it necessary to send Kai condescending looks, and appeared to be more full of himself than any man had a right to be. On the other hand, there was Jadeite, who had made it his mission to steal my attention every time I was at Kai's table. The rest of the time, he didn't bother me, but the way he zeroed in on Kai, sending him icy glances as though he were little more than a worm beneath Jadeite's boot, almost made me feel bad for the boy.

Just almost though.

"You're tense." Matsuo stated, eyeing me.

I refrained from scrunching my nose as I wiped Harumi's makeup job away, already changed into my casual clothes. He had really outdone himself with this month's theme –A Circus Affair- and I was having trouble getting all the face paint off. "Well, you're going to look stupid in a toga."

Why Harumi decided that this had been a good idea, I couldn't say; I was pretty sure he just liked watching us all prance around the café looking like idiots. Matsuo and I had gotten off lucky, I supposed. A magician and a lion tamer weren't nearly as painful when compared to one of our more difficult co-workers, Rika; Harumi had given her the role of the circus clown. Of course, that was what happened when one bailed on her shifts and moved at the pace of a snail.

"Wait, what?" Matsuo sputtered.

I smirked, taking care with the charcoal lining my eyes. "What do you mean, what?"

"Toga. You said I was going to look stupid in a toga."

"Did I now?"

Matsuo narrowed his gaze. "You know what the next theme is going to be, don't you?"

I hummed noncommittally, but the smug glance sent his way told Matsuo everything he needed to know. Harumi was notorious about keeping the themes a surprise for everyone involved until the day of; Matsuo had tried countless times to no avail to get insider knowledge before the rest of us, and here I was, having accomplished just that. Of course, there was no need to tell him how exactly I had received such information (by snooping in Harumi's office during one of my cleaning binges.).

I had a funny feeling I would be chided for that.

"Oh, come on Usagi-chan! You can't just dangle it in front of me like that." I watched through the mirror as he abandoned his position in the chair and stood at my back, arms going around my middle, trapping my arms against me as he rested his chin on my shoulder. He gave me sad eyes. "Aren't we best friends? You wouldn't be so cruel as to tease me and leave it at that, right?"

I grinned and turned back to my reflection. "Of course not darling. I am absolutely willing to share my knowledge with you, for a price."

"What do you want to know?"

"That depends in the information, doesn't it?"

"Uh… Well, there's the betting pool our co-workers set up. You know, about which of your new regulars you'll end up with."

"Disgusting. I already know about that and for the sake of my own delicate mind I'm going to have to insist that we never speak of it again. Strike one, Moon Boy."

Matsuo pouted playfully, though as our eyes met I saw that his held some apprehension; that caught my full attention, and my smile faded. He wouldn't be hesitating like that if there wasn't anything being kept from me. All good mood seeped from me as I focused back on the task on hand; with a new wipe in hand and the charcoal gone from my lids, I turned my next attack to the lipstick, wiping harshly at the pale pink. Matsuo knew something that I did not, something I probably wasn't supposed to know, and I was not going to ask.

"The theme in two weeks is going to be Greek Gods. You're totally going to be wearing a toga." I forced a half grin I didn't feel, voice teasing in my attempt to lighten the situation. "What kind of god do you think you'll be? Personally, I put my vote in for Hera, you know, what with the whole Jupiter thing. Queen of the gods, you shall be; fits perfectly, doesn't it?"

Matsuo said nothing to that, and under his stare I found myself babbling to fill the quiet.

"With Harumi's sense of humor, he may even do it if I made the suggestion. Ah, but then I'd have to explain how I found out, so maybe not. I do wonder what he chose for me though… what do you think? Athena, maybe? Oh, I really hope I don't end up stuck with Aphrodite, that would be cruel."

"The Scouts and Mamoru have a new home base." Matsuo blurted out. I paused, swiveling to face him, and as he continued his expression looked rather pained. "They got it a few days after Nephrite joined, in the warehouse district where you fought him."

We stared at one another, and after a moment I forced words out, breaking the silence. "It's fine, Matsuo. You don't have to tell me."

His jaw clenched. "You weren't going to ask, Usagi. I understand that both you and the Scouts have your issues with one another, but… this isn't a game. Lives are at stake, and not wanting to be a part of the fight doesn't mean that you should be excluded from what we learn; you deserve to know."

I moved to speak but Matsuo beat me to the punch. "The last two Generals, Kunzite and Zoisite, are being extremely cautious, and we aren't having any luck even getting them to stick around long enough for a fight. With the way things are going, it looks like we're going to have to take more drastic measures."

My mind stuck briefly on the _we_ part, and a bad taste entered my mouth; for a split second, a swell of emotions rose in me before I locked them back away. Matsuo would not walk away from the supernatural world, and weeks later I was still coming to terms with that. I recounted his words, prioritizing the information. "Drastic measures, huh? That certainly doesn't sound too good… Do I really want to know what they are?"

"Well… probably not. You aren't going to like it."

"Then don't tell me." Honestly, it was possible I would actually be better off not knowing.

Matsuo's expression shifted, somewhere between apology and regret. "No, Usagi, you don't understand. Things aren't looking great for us right now, and I need you to listen to me, okay? The Scouts and the Generals, they're going to make a terrible mistake, and I know you don't want anything to do with this, but… my input only goes so far; I can't convince them otherwise. Someone needs to be the voice of reason."

It dawned upon me then that Matsuo was afraid, and my heart caught in my throat at his pleading gaze.

Damn it all.

"Tell me."

* * *

I was murderous with rage.

They had far passed beyond the realm of idiocy; those ignorant, dimwitted _fools_ were disgustingly _incompetent_ , and they were going to get us all killed. I couldn't believe what Matsuo had told me, and it was only the fear plain in his eyes that told me he wasn't exaggerating. After quietly assuring him that I would not allow such a plan to come to pass, I had gathered my things, returned to the Tsukino residence, and locked myself into the bedroom. Sleep did not come to me until very late in the night as I spent most of it seething, stewing in my anger and scheming my next course of action.

When morning came, I went about my routine and set off to school, deadly calm.

Giving me so much time to think and become even more angry had been unwise on Matsuo's part. He insisted that they needed a voice of reason, and I agreed whole heartedly; I would be that voice of reason, and I would bring my harsh reality down on them without mercy. When I was done with them, they were going to taste my wrath for months to come, it was going to settle in their bones. I would not die on account of their stupidity; the fact that they would even _dare_ to think-

I inhaled and exhaled slowly, calming myself.

The plan had already begun with the note I had left Ikuko, and as I arrived at the classroom, I mentally checked off my list. It wasn't early by any means, but none of the Scouts had arrived yet. Yumiko was already in her seat, and she smiled up at me as I approached. "Good morning Usagi-chan. You're here earlier than I would have expected."

I shrugged. "It's one of those days. Actually, Yumiko, I was wondering if you could do me a favor, as a secret between the two of us?"

She paused, clearly curious, before nodding. "Definitely. You can count on me."

I smiled for the first time that day.

When the Scouts finally arrived, they were trailing behind Naru.

Naru, as predicted, had been rather distressed after the incident a few weeks ago. Apparently, Mamoru had made a cheap last minute excuse and had left in the middle of their date. When the rightfully upset Naru sought her companions to cheer her up, she found that Venus and Mars had ditched her as well. Then, of course, the Scouts arrived to school the next day two hours late. Suffice to say, Naru hadn't been feeling very confident in the strength of her relationships; she was hot and cold with the lot of them now, though she was still seeing Mamoru on a regular basis.

Thankfully, she knew better than to associate me with them. We were still on okay terms, and her anger was going to come in handy. In between classes, I managed to get her alone long enough to obtain her help (at my own sacrifice) before Mercury burst into the ladies room and joined us. All through the morning, I remained passive to every snide remark Mars threw my way, and the looks I had once received from Venus, the cool politeness from Mercury, they were all met head on and unwaveringly.

Mercury, at the very least, had the good grace to be unsettled.

When lunch came and Naru held court, I turned my desk without complaint or a fight. It was as we were digging into lunch that Yumiko struck. "So, did you guys hear about those missing high school girls? My uncle works with the police department, and he was telling me about it last night; you guys know that old park where they used to hold the cherry blossom viewings?"

That caught the Scouts' undivided attention, though they pretended not to show it.

"The one going through renovations?" I questioned, playing along.

"Yeah!" She nodded. "Well, apparently a bunch of first years were doing a test of courage or something, and they were the first ones that were supposed to go."

"That's funny," Naru mused. "I think I heard about it yesterday when I was helping out at the shop. The two of them went in and just didn't come out, right?"

"The other students said they heard a scream, but when they went to investigate the girls were gone. They had to file a report with the police, what with all the attacks happening lately." Yumiko explained.

She played it well, sounding sympathetic to the fictional incident. Naru went above and beyond for her part though, and I was impressed as she scoffed and said, "Yeah, well, that's what you get for doing a test of courage with a psycho on the loose. Seriously, what did they expect to happen? And also, who even does a test of courage in this weather? It's a summer event, and we're just about on the brink of winter here."

It had gotten rather chilly as of late, so she had a point. "I'm sure they'll turn up sooner or later."

"Yeah, but in what state?" Naru's expression tightened. "It just keeps getting worse, doesn't it? Do you remember that path we used to take to our old elementary school, Usagi-chan? The one with the railing that overlooks the street? I heard that strange things happen to anyone that walks along it at sundown; sometimes they see angry spirits or malevolent auras, and they all end up in the hospital. It's not being grouped with the attacks because none of them claim to be assaulted. They just get really sick or something, but never actually falling into comas."

"Well… maybe it is different then?" Yumiko suggested.

I nodded, adding, "Ghost stories have to come from somewhere. I wouldn't worry about it, Naru; you're the miracle girl, right? You probably have a guardian angel on your shoulder, so if anyone's in danger, it certainly won't be you."

Oddly enough, she stilled at my words for a moment before half shrugging. Venus looked ready to sooth Naru's worried mind when the girl changed the conversation, jumping to a topic at random. As she chatted about Mamoru, I pretended not to see the Scouts exchange looks. Naru glanced my way once more, gaze preening with satisfaction, and the slight upward twitch of my lips appeased her.

She'd done marvelously, and now the game was set.

Some cold part of me was sated, and eager for what was to come.

Wrath had never tasted sweeter.

* * *

 _How had it come to this?_

 _Minako darted through the trees with reckless abandon, uncaring of the branches that scratched along her face and arms, the bushes that caught on her skirt and made stinging cuts across her legs. Fear thrilled up her spine, mixing with anger in an unholy combination to create the adrenaline pumping through her veins._

 _They were being hunted._

 _First it had been Makoto and Jadeite, having gone radio silent during their investigation of the park. Ami, Rei, and Luna were already on the other side of town, looking into Naru's story; they were too far away to check on them, and Minako herself had been tailing her princess on the girl's own worried orders. Mamoru had been with Naru, but it wasn't his duty to protect her. Naru had been a little skittish the past few days, and no matter what angle Minako had come at her from, the girl had been unwilling to say what was bothering her._

 _Naru had asked her to stick around, and Minako had been more than happy to comply._

" _It's probably signal interference." Ami had assured her. "Still, it's ten minutes past her scheduled check in. I wouldn't mind making the trip over just to be safe."_

 _But Minako had said no._

 _It had been a grave mistake on her part, a blunder that she would never forgive herself for. Instead, Mamoru had suggested sending in Nephrite, and at the time this had seemed like an excellent solution. Both she and Mamoru had been having a bit of trouble separating from Naru when she was so clearly unsettled, and Nephrite was a General; Makoto and Jadeite were a strong combination together, so adding Nephrite to the mix could only make their team an unbelievable force to be reckoned with._

 _It should have been okay._

 _Nephrite was already on his way to the park when Ami sent out the distress signal. Her voice had been trembling ever so slightly as she reported Rei having been attacked and unconscious, Luna nowhere to be found, and the enemy out of sight, unknown. Ami had been in the middle of asking for aid when she too was taken down. Minako had heard it all, Ami's gasp, the sound of her struggles and the final cry of pain before the communication was cut. It played over and over in Minako's head, an endless, gut wrenching echo._

 _She had known then, even as she'd sprinted down the street and into traffic, feet slamming into the ground, propelling her forward; Minako had known that she would be too late. She had ran anyway though, knowing fully well that it was most likely a trap and that she had no backup, because it was_ Ami, Rei, Luna _, they were in trouble and they needed her._

 _There was nothing to be found when she made it to where Ami should have been._

 _When she went to the park, Nephrite was gone as well._

 _That had been the moment it had really hit her._

 _They were being picked off._

 _Here she was now, being chased through the forest in her Scout uniform, unable to get a clear look at the dark clothed figure pursuing her. To be able to take down everyone else… Minako was afraid, for herself and her friends, but equal to that fear was her rage. Her friends were missing, possibly hurt, and this person was responsible. She stopped running then, spinning around to face her unseen enemy. The Sailor Scouts would not go down this way, not yet; Minako refused to die before this war had been won._

 _No more running._

 _The figure immerged, much too fast, and charged right for her. It kicked out, and she just barely managed to evade the blow, leaning to her right. But then the figure did something she never expected; it used her movement against her, closing in and a hand shooting out to grip her jaw, forcing her face upward. There was a sharp pinch at her neck and Minako shoved her attacker away, but by then it was too late. The world slowed, her vision tunneled, and despite her best efforts, she couldn't fight off the haze._

 _Her gaze landed on a strand of familiar golden hair peeking out from the figure's hoodie._

 _Betrayal stabbed at her chest, but then the pain faded._

 _She fell into nothingness._

* * *

It was incredible, the plans you could enact in the span of a single day.

I'd had all the necessary materials on hand, curtesy of Harumi and Hajime-sensei. The former had an alarming variety of self defense weapons, and after the incident with the bruise, he had seen fit to send me home with a gift box full of paraphernalia; mace, a Taser gun, one of those pointed brass knuckles things you put on a key chain, the whole nine yards.

He'd even left me a tranquilizer and zip ties.

I didn't ask whether he got them, or why he even had such things.

Ignorance is bliss, right?

Hajime-sensei had been surprisingly approving of his brother's actions when I had complained, which was even more startling when you considered his Love Your Enemies mindset. Then again, this was also the man that had started giving me private lessons on top of aikido, a brutal, different martial art that he refused to name. Whenever Matsuo tramped off to see Jupiter, which was a lot, I found myself practicing this new, secret skill.

Together, Harumi and Hajime-sensei had provided me with ninety percent of what I had required to accomplish this endeavor. After that, it had been a simply matter of finding a suitable place for the final part. In the end, I chose an abandoned warehouse at random in the district Nephrite had once fought me in. If the Scouts really did have a hideout around here, then the close location would definitely unsettle them, so fingers crossed.

Taking them down had been woefully easy.

With Jadeite, it was the Taser; Jupiter and Mercury got homemade chloroform, and ever stubborn Mars… Well, she got a blow to the head before the Taser. You could never be too careful with Mars as she was the kind of person that didn't stay down, sort of like a cliché horror movie villain. After the whole cat kicking thing, I thought it best to just not drag Luna and Artemis into this; they got a pass by being bagged up until I managed to sneak away.

I saved the tranquilizer for Venus.

She had seen me at the last moment, but I had gotten her and that's what mattered. Getting them all to the warehouse had been a pain, but I'd found that for a good price, taxi drivers could not care less about the state of their passengers. The hardest part by far was Mamoru; I knew that after everyone went missing, catching him alone would be next to impossible, so I didn't even try to go after him.

Instead, I made him come to me.

By the time he arrived, it was about nine in the evening. Mamoru walked in slowly, taking in the scene before him as though he couldn't quite grasp what he was seeing. In a single neat row on the floor the Scouts and Generals were laid out, unconscious and in varying states of injury but not bound. I sat in an old, metal chair before them, back straight, legs crossing, and waiting patiently; I was the only one transformed, and in my hand were the Scouts' transformation pens.

"What is this?" Mamoru asked slowly. His wide gaze scanned each of them before coming to a stop at Nephrite's red, swelling face. Mamoru scampered over and knelt at his side, hands hovering; he whipped his head back in my direction, expression fierce and confused. "What did you do to him?"

"Mace." I had saved it just for Nephrite. I still might have been a little touchy about our fight a couple weeks back; not holding a grudge by any means, but it was a sore spot for me. Now that Mamoru was here, I stood from my chair and summoned the moon stick. As I healed them, I added, "There was a bit of tasing involved as well, but Nephrite will undoubtedly make a full recovery."

Mamoru said nothing, and I took my seat once more as the others began to rouse from their induced slumber. It didn't take very long for them to put two and two together; Venus was the first to come to the proper conclusion, though from the expression on Mercury's face I could tell she had figured it out just as quickly.

"What the hell was that?" Venus barked, glowering at me from her place on the concrete floor.

I smiled pleasantly, my earlier fury coming back. "That was me teaching you all a life lesson."

"By attacking us?" Her voice rose with every word, shrill and outraged. "Drugging us? What is wrong with you, why would you do that?"

"How did it feel, Venus?" I ignored her question in favor of my own. "How did it feel to be helpless as your team was picked off, one by one? When they vanished without a trace, and you were left on your own?"

She began to shake with rage.

I continued uncaringly, voice quiet. "It was horrifying, wasn't it? After all, you're the one that made the call, you were the one that put them there; you probably couldn't stop thinking that it was your fault."

For once, it was Mercury that snapped. "What's your point?"

"I bet it was scary for you too, Mercury. Alone, with an injured comrade and an unknown enemy hiding in the shadows. You were all probably afraid, and that's fair; the world is a terrifying place, we all know what's out there."

"You're _sick_." Mercury spat. "That was twisted, and cruel."

I laughed. "That? That was _nothing_ , I was just giving you guys a preview as to what you should expect when you go storm the enemy's home base in a few days time."

Everyone seemed to still at being caught, and Mercury gritted her teeth. "What are you talking about."

"Oh, come now," I rose a brow at the girl, smile becoming all teeth. "No need to pretend we don't all know exactly what you idiots intend to do. That's why I'm here, after all; to put an end to your nonsense plan." I tossed their transformation pens back at them. "Here, you can have these back, not that they'll be of much help."

"You had no right-"

"But I did it anyway, Mercury!" I rose from my chair then, all but snarling. My gaze filled with enmity as I looked at each of them. "When I made the decision, not a single one of you was able to stop me from doing as I pleased. It was _easy_ , so unbelievably easy to lure you away from one another, and take you all down. Hell, I didn't even have to use any powers to do it. So tell me, Mercury; if one girl can take your team down, how could you possibly stand a chance against Beryl and her youma? What of Kunzite and Zoisite? Were you going to kill them, or ignore them entirely and give the enemy _more_ fighting power?"

Jadeite stood, fists clenching. "You don't understand. They will never allow themselves to be captured, won't even stick around to fight the Sailor Scouts. What other choice do we have? Kunzite and Zoisite are our comrades, our _brothers_ ; we don't _want_ to hurt them but the Dark Kingdom cannot be allowed to continue. Time has run out."

"You can't do this without them." I seethed. "Get that through your pint sized brains. You're stronger together, all of you; if you split up like you did today, none of you will leave with your lives. Kunzite is supposed to be the strongest General, and if you're going to charge in than he and Zoisite must be on your side, because you wont win against them. I'm not going to die because you people were stupid enough to throw away your best advantage in your haste to win this war."

Jadeite stepped forward, and we were toe to toe as he glared down at me. "There. Are. No. Other. Options."

My expression was hard, unyielding and I stared back. "Then _make one_." Jadeite blinked, not having expected that. I was far from finished though, and I tried to keep the bitterness out of my voice, to keep my lip from curling in disgust. "No matter what you think, there is _always_ another way and if you can't see it, you aren't looking close enough. The universe isn't going to hand you the solution, Jadeite. You don't get to give in to the choices placed before you just because anything else seems too hard. If the options before you are shit, find a third option, and if that doesn't work, fucking make one."

Jadeite's mouth opened, but he gave no retort.

I took a step back, letting Sailor Moon slip away. My anger cooled, leaving behind that ice cold apathy. The world was far from fair; it was cruel, merciless, and if they couldn't figure that out, then we were doomed. My gaze floated to Venus, and I saw that she had tears running down her face, and a new gleam in her eyes. At the very least, she had heard me; she knew they did not stand a chance as they were.

It was the best I could do.

Either they would step up to the plate, or they'd die and I would be left to make a pitiful, unsuccessful last stand.

I walked away, leaving them and the warehouse behind.

There was just one last thing to do.

* * *

Naru was silent as she traced the seam on her shirt.

Under the glow of the streetlight above us, her red hair seemed to droop. I was careful to keep two and a half feet between the two of us, hands in my lap for good measure. As we sat on the curb, I found my patience wearing thin; surely she hadn't asked me here at this hour to simply keep her company. If this was the price I paid for her help in the future, I probably wouldn't be asking again. "Naru, quiet is unsightly on you."

She blinked, registering my words, and huffed a laugh. "You used to be so much worse, Usagi-chan. Going on for hours on end, and then losing all social skill out of the blue; now _that_ was creepy."

"Thanks, I feel so loved."

Naru finally looked at me and smirked, shrugging. "Just calling it like I see it."

I hummed, taking that moment to inspect her.

Naru didn't look tired, at least, not outwardly; she was the queen of girl tricks though, and she would never dream of leaving the house in anything less than perfect condition. If you wanted to know how Naru really was, you had to look past her physical appearance. It wasn't difficult for me to notice the difference, oddly enough; there were no dark circles or bags beneath her eyes, but the way her gaze scanned the area every so often was telling.

Her posture was casual, lax, but the moment someone wandered into our line of sight, her eyes would follow them for a few moments, analyzing. She didn't fidget, and her muscles never stiffened, but somehow I had the impression that Naru was overly sensitive to every noise and movement around us. Something was wrong, and she was making a herculean effort to pretend otherwise. "Tell me what happened."

I don't know why I said it, or why it mattered but for some reason, it truly did.

I wanted to know, and what's worse, I wanted to help.

Naru really drove me up the wall sometimes, and she had the supreme ability to annoy me to no end. She was dramatic, and most of the time I didn't give a damn about her worldly woes. I wasn't sure what made this time any different; maybe because it just felt like one of those moments that mattered, the kind where my response held any sort of weight.

Her distressed blues eyes met my own. "You're going to think I'm crazy, or just being paranoid."

"Tell me anyway."

She swallowed, looking down at her shoes. Naru seemed to be gathering her thoughts, and after a few moments, her soft voice broke through the quiet. "It started about a week ago. I was studying with Ami-chan and the other girls at that desert shop we always go to. When we were leaving, this chill went down my spine, and… it felt like someone was watching. There wasn't anyone though, not as far as I could tell so I had brushed the feeling off. Only, it happened again the next day, and the day after that, so I started paying more attention to my surroundings.

"Usagi… I keep seeing this man, everywhere I go. I swear its like he's always _there_ , standing so far off that no one else ever seems to notice. I spotted him out the window at school once, standing near the gates; sometimes he'll be three blocks away when I go to hang out with the girls, or in a shop across the street, peering out at Mamoru-kun and me. It's only ever for a moment, too. If I blink or glance away, he's suddenly gone."

That… sounded really bad. "What does he look like?"

Naru sniffled. "Uh… tall, I think. Creamy skin, long white hair; I've never seen him up close though, so I'm not sure how helpful I can be."

Something heavy settled in my gut at her description, tugging at old memories. I hid my growing dread the best I could and gave Naru a reassuring smile. "Don't worry about that, I can certainly make do. I'll take care of it, okay? Just give me some time and a bit of faith."

She teared up then, nodding fervently.

Before I could stop her, Naru threw herself at me, sobbing into my shoulder. The connection was immediate, and I choked as my energy began to drain, stronger and far more quickly than ever before. I gasped in pain, vision blurring and Naru pulled back in alarm, wide-eyed. Her arms went to my shoulders as I began slumping forward. "Usagi-chan? Oh my god, what's wrong. Can you hear me?"

I wanted to scream, to wrench myself away from her but there didn't seem to be any strength left in my body. I heard Naru calling out for help when everything went black; for a moment, I thought I had lost my sight, but she gasped as well and after a moment I could make out the outline of her form.

"A blackout?" Naru said, though her hands on me trembled. Her breath hitched suddenly, grip tightening, and I thought I heard another voice. Naru stumbled backwards, falling onto her butt on the pavement and breaking the connection. Tears that had gathered at the corner of my eyes began to spill over as my body tipped sideways, meet the ground as well. It still felt like she was stealing my energy, and I shuddered, unable to choke out any words through the pain.

I was lifted from the ground, and from further away, Naru shrieked. " _No. Get away from her!_ "

Strands of white swept against my cheek as I was cradled closer. I felt a hum as the person holding me spoke, tone sharp. "Come no closer. I know who you are, and what you're capable of. If you ever want to see your friend alive again, you'll do as I say. Send a message to that lover of yours; if he and the Sailor Scouts do not surrender themselves to the Dark Kingdom and hand over the Silver Crystal, than this girl you deem so precious will die. You have until the full moon."

I felt us moving then, and the world began to fade away around me as Naru pleaded and cried. I could only comprehend the numbness of my legs, and the pain of being siphoned.

My gaze settled on those white strands of hair.

It was the last thing that registered before unconsciousness swallowed me whole.

* * *

A/N

TWO MORE CHAPTERS GUYS.

Then we can all wave goodbye to the Dim Dynasty, and hello to the next arc.

So excited, can't wait. I'm going to write up the first one and get at least half way through the second before I post, so chapters 15 and 16 should more or less be within three days of each other. I figure it's best to not leave you guys hanging and start a mob riot. We're in for a wild ride here, so buckle up.

Before someone makes the comment, let me just say that there is a REASON that Kunzite acted the way he did. Be PATIENT with me because it's going to be EXPLAINED in the next chapter.

Any-who,

Thoughts? Questions? Unfathomable Rage?

Please Review!


	15. Chapter 15

_Matsuo P.O.V._

Waiting was the worst.

There were only a few rare moments in life where I found myself truly lacking patience, and this was turning out to be one of those occasions. Waiting for the (proverbial) other shoe to drop was agony; still, it had to be said that I didn't regret my decision to tell Usagi-chan what the others had been planning. I might have been new to the supernatural world and the finer details of war, but inexperience and incompetence were not one and the same.

After weeks of fruitless efforts on our end to capture the remaining Generals without exposing Jadeite and Nephrite, we had found ourselves in a bit of a tight spot. With neither the time nor the resources to continue our pursuit, it'd been agreed upon that the best course of action would be to hit the enemy directly. Based on the information we had, the Dark Kingdom needed to be taken down before any more human energy was harvested.

Jadeite and Nephrite knew first hand what exactly it would mean to allow the Dark Kingdom to continue, and if the two of them insisted that time had run out, that something needed to be done _now_ , then I was inclined to agree with them. To be honest, I hadn't had any issue with their intention to storm Dark Kingdom headquarters; I was absolutely terrified at the thought of Makoto-chan risking her life like that, but I understood the necessity. What bothered me was that, when it came down to it, not a single one of them had given any thought as to the opinion that likely mattered most.

Usagi had remained in the dark these past few weeks, her words neglected.

Jadeite and Nephrite were experienced military personnel, experts in Dark Kingdom affairs. Luna and Artemis were celestial beings with a plethora of knowledge and wisdom beyond our years; Counseling was what they did best. Mamoru was cunning, and somehow managed to keep everyone in check; deescalating high tensions, listening to each opinion, and making compromises to satisfy the group.

Then there was Minako, who had been at this war against the Dark Kingdom longer than most. She possessed a keen sense of intuition on the battle field and an all-around cleverness that Usagi-chan no doubt found alarming. Each of Minako's comrades were capable and proficient in their own areas of expertise as well; highly intelligent and analytical, brawny and resilient, fiery and quick witted. The Sailor Scouts, Mamoru, and his Generals were the best equipped for this whole Youma-Killing, Darkness-Vanquishing, Save-The-World endeavor.

But they were not _her._

Usagi was the leading authority on these matters, and there was nothing anyone could ever say to convince me otherwise. She was driven, driven in a way the others simply weren't; Usagi ran on two things, fear and determination, and she ran on these things the way some people ran on coffee and oxygen. It was pretty obvious to me now that, unlike everyone else, Usagi appeared to have grasped the full implications and consequences in this war, and from the very beginning no less.

It explained her deep seated terror, paranoia, and her iron resolve; Usagi knew _exactly_ what we were up against here, and knowing her, she had probably spent an obscene amount of time strategizing, scheming, and preparing. Disregarding her, underestimating her, was a grave mistake that every one of them had made before, in one way or another and here they were now, ready to do it yet again.

It would be our undoing, sooner or later.

Usagi had specifically stated that in order to win the war, all four Generals were needed. It wasn't just once, either; she had reiterated it to us on numerous occasions, emphasizing their importance time after time. Usagi wasn't the type of person to insist on something she wasn't absolutely sure of, so if she said we needed them on our side, that they _could not_ be loyal to the enemy when the time came, then I believed her. After all, who would know better than her?

The tactician that knew every piece on the board; the schemer that'd been staring it down for far longer than anyone else, strategizing courses of action and counter attacks to all the variable moves of her enemies.

She had needed to know.

Despite her opposition or whether anyone else could admit it or not, the fact of the matter was that this involved Usagi. She had been the one to figure out that the Generals could be healed; it had been her that had brought Sailor Scouts together where the Dark Kingdom was hitting hardest. Usagi was the reason an alliance had been formed, and it was thanks to her that we had such a strong chance at winning this war.

So no, I didn't regret my choice to inform her of the situation, not in the slightest.

However, I might have been a little concerned as to how she intended to go about making the others see reason. Usagi was, to put it kindly, assertive; most of the time, she couldn't care less about the actions and opinions of others, but when it happened to affect her life, or involve her personally? Well… it was best to steer clear and hope for the best; that you didn't do anything too unforgivable, or that she'd be merciful. Usagi-chan did not take kindly to anything remotely reminiscent of a threat against her happiness.

God help whoever stood in her way.

As I paced in my apartment, my mind kept drifting to all the possible scenarios Usagi might decide on enacting to ensure her voice was heard; I hadn't heard from anyone for quite a few hours now, and that made me nervous. With little else to distract myself with, I left my apartment and began wandering to help stave off the slow torture of going stir crazy. It was a little after nine when I began my walk, and I managed to kill an hour nervously day dreaming until the not knowing became too difficult to ignore.

I was standing on the corner of an intersection, silently debating whether to go to the queen of dramatics herself or just verify that the others were still in one piece, when a flash of red caught my eye from further up the road. It drew my attention, and for a moment I could only stare; across the street and running like a bat out of hell was a familiar red headed girl, barefoot and in clear distress. _Usagi's decoy princess_ , My mind provided as I crossed the street to intercept her.

Naru jumped about a mile in the air when I called out to her and tumbled to a hazardous halt. I winced inwardly, as that stop had surely taken a bit of skin off the bottom of her feet. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I'm-"

"Usagi-chan's friend." Naru choked. I had been about to remind her that I was Makoto-chan's boyfriend, but as she neared and the tears streaming down her face registered, the words faded from my tongue. I nodded and nearly had a heart attack when Naru sprang forward without warning, fingers clutching the fabric of my shirt in a death grip. "You- You have to help me, please, I need to find Mamoru-kun."

"Okay, it's okay," My hands went to her shoulders, steadying Naru as her body wracked with shuddering breaths and sobs. "I think I know where to find him. Can you tell me what happened?"

"She's gone, she- she's _gone_ ," Naru's voice broke, and she seemed to choke on the words. Her desperation was palpable, and my found my stomach twisting.

"Naru, who are you talking about? Who is she?"

"It's Usagi-chan," She said, the blood in my veins running cold as the words registered. "Someone took her."

* * *

 _Mamoru P.O.V._

"Call me as soon as you have eyes on her." Minako ordered. I caught a murmured agreement through the pseudo watch at her wrist before it was snapped shut and Minako sighed. "It just had happen on today of all days, didn't it?"

I sent her a sympathetic look. "Power outages never come at a good time."

Minako managed a half smile before dropping into her seat at the conference table. We were all gathered save for Luna and Artemis, who had gone to check on Naru; it was probably nothing, and more than likely she was asleep but I was glad Minako had sent the cats anyway. Had we not needed to have this meeting, I would have gone myself; sadly, it just so happened our group was divided and unless there was an emergency, this meeting had to be priority number one.

We were pretty shaken up.

"Usagi-san is wrong about us." Ami stated, tone critical. She paused for only a second to ensure she had the floor before pushing forward. "Her actions earlier this evening were immoral and it shows no indication of our skills as a united force. There is a colossal difference between what she did and our intended course of action; the agreed upon plan simply doesn't coincide with Usagi-san's _stunt_ , and it cannot be scrutinized under that light."

"I see," Minako replied neutrally. "Can you give a few examples to further your point?"

Ami raised her chin, shoulders straightening, and it was clear to see that she had expected this. "Firstly, we should take into account the fact that during her assault, we were far from prepared. Spread out across the town, on unknown territory without the expectation of an attack and in our civilian forms. Jadeite and Nephrite know the Dark Kingdom and that is partially where our advantage lies; the territory is familiar, and the enemy will never suspect us to sneak in, let alone with the insider knowledge we have.

"We weren't prepared at all when Usagi-san ambushed us, but going into the Dark Kingdom, we certainly will be. Do any of you truly think that Usagi-san would have been able to take every single one of us down had we known she was coming? Of course not. Had we been prepared, she never would have stood a chance against us; the only thing she was right about is that we are stronger together, as a team."

Ami made a valid point, and I was inclined to agree with her.

Usagi had split and lured each of us away with the knowledge that we could not be taken on together. She had planned it out carefully, likely with days to go over and prepare; additionally, she never went after me. I didn't think a fight could be fairly determined when only one side was so well prepared; then, however, something dawned on me. Hadn't Usagi been in a similar position on the night she became Sailor Moon? To a certain degree both myself and the Scouts had been prepared, expecting a possible fight.

Usagi hadn't though.

Between Jadeite and his youma, those of us that'd actually arrived with the expectation of battle, had ended up on the losing side. Between him and us, it had been a fair fight with both parties having anticipated trading blows. Jadeite had been winning until Usagi entered the fray, and then it was the unsuspecting, unprepared one coming out on top. Perhaps that wasn't the best example to go off of though. Usagi's scuffled against Nephrite floated to the surface of my mind just then, and I had to make a conscious effort to unclench my jaw and resist balling my hands into fists at the memory.

It was one I often tried to avoid.

Usagi had always had this look about her, sort of haunted and scared; however, it was the kind of look that was so quiet and easily hidden that if you weren't careful, you could forget you'd ever seen it. For a short stretch of time, it actually had slipped my mind. After all, it was hard to connect that Usagi to the one I had witnessed in the park; that girl had been wrath incarnated, vengeance in the very flesh as she decimated that youma and defeated Jadeite. In that scenario, there was no holding Usagi to the same standards as the rest of us.

But then Nephrite had appeared.

Her fight with him had been desperate; she'd been taken by surprise and it had cost her dearly. In that moment, there had been nothing fierce about her, nothing that left you in awe of her; in that moment, Usagi had been little more than a frightened girl, trembling like a leaf as I tried to keep her together. If I hadn't been there, if she'd been forced to fight off her attacker alone…

I shoved the thought away.

Whether or not Usagi could be held to a similar standard, my sentiments on the matter remained the same and in favor of what Ami said. I didn't appear to be the only one that thought as much, either. A few of the others began to murmur their agreements when they were cut off by Minako's bleak laugh, drawing our attention to the blonde. The smile she wore held no joy or mirth as she shook her head a miniscule degree, eyes roving over each of us.

"…Usagi was right." She announced, holding a hand up to silence Ami when the girl moved to speak. Minako sat back in her chair, commanding our undivided attention with her gaze alone. "We can't take on the Dark Kingdom and win, not as we are right now."

Makoto gripped the table, brows furrowed and gaze imploring, "You don't know that-"

"She got me, Mako-chan!" Minako shouted, palm thumping against her chest. Her chair scraped loudly against the floor as she jumped to her feet, jaw clenching. Minako made sure to meet each of our gazes as she spoke her next words, "Usagi overtook me, do you understand? I knew we were being picked off, I transformed into Sailor Venus _and she got me anyway_ ; not with powers, or outside help, but with sheer fear tactics. We were reckless, unprepared and isolated and that is _no excuse_ , no matter how you look at it. _Twice_ Usagi has been in the position that we were today, and do any of you remember how that ended?"

The table was dead silent, and under her withering gaze no one appeared able to answer the question. Minako leaned forward, pressing her hands onto the table and continued, solemn and quiet. "Reckless, unprepared, and under the mindset that she was entirely alone, Usagi managed to take down two Generals and a youma, something we were unable to accomplish the first time despite our _significant_ numbers. So do not tell me that we're ready, that we can finish this with what we have; we can't."

"… What do we intend to do then?" Jadeite inquired softly.

The room paused, contemplating.

"We go anyway." I hardly processed the words as they left my lips. The idea unraveled though, coming to life in my mind as confused and uncomprehending looks were sent my way. "We go anyway, with a smaller group; not to battle it out with the enemy, since that clearly isn't an option any longer. A stealth mission, headed by a small, elite force; sneak into the Dark Kingdom, and capture the Generals in the place they'll least expect it. If Usagi can kidnap and drug six people on her own with little more than the element of surprise, then what's stopping us from doing the same?"

It was bold, unpredictable.

Minako's eyes lit up.

Then there was a slam, and the warehouse door was open; Matsuo stumbled in, pale as a ghost and out of breath, dragging Naru behind him. The Scouts seemed to notice Naru's tear streaked face and bare feet at the same moment I did; as one, we all swooped in on her shivering form, throwing questions at Matsuo as we did so.

He ignored us, instead spitting out the last words any of us expected to hear.

"Usagi's been taken."

* * *

 _Matsuo P.O.V._

The stares I received were of shock and disbelief, and if I lacked patience before, then it was entirely drained now. I relayed what Naru had told me as quickly as I could while trying to keep the anger out of my tone; this was no one's fault, really, and Naru already appeared to feel bad that she hadn't been able to do anything to stop Usagi's kidnapper.

When I finished speaking, Mamoru's expression was strained but no one else seemed to really catch the gravity of the situation. I gritted my teeth and turned to Naru. "Tell them exactly what he said."

"Hey," Rei retorted angrily, shifting slightly as though to shield Naru. "Don't snap at her."

I moved to say an ungentlemanly word when Naru spoke, voice flat. "I know who you are, and what you're capable of. If you ever want to see your friend alive again, you'll do as I say. Send a message to that lover of yours; if he and the Sailor Scouts do not surrender themselves to the Dark Kingdom and hand over the Silver Crystal, then this girl you deem so precious will die."

She shivered in Mamoru's arms, and the way he ran a soothing hand down her shoulder stuck out to me as instinctive more than anything; his gaze was rather absent, face looking stricken as the meaning of her words settled in.

No longer crying, Naru took a shaky breath and added, "I- I don't know what happened. Everything was fine, she was fine one minute and then suddenly she went into this… _fit_ , like the she had a couple weeks back at school. It was so much worse this time though, trembling all over, eyes unseeing, choking on air. I tried to call for help, but then the power went out and- He came out of _nowhere_ , and just _took her_."

Her eyes began to tear up as she explained that she had seen this man before and had thought he might have been following her. Minako nearly imploded with rage at the news, and I sensed a rant forming.

"He was sending a message." I spat out before she could waste any more time. "He said he knew who Naru was, and that Usagi was going to die unless we surrender and give up the Silver Crystal. We know what the Dark Kingdom is capable of, and right now Usagi is hurt and at their mercy."

Something in me shook, a mixture of fear and rage at the thought. Usagi was in trouble, they could be _hurting her_ ; she had to be terrified, scared out of her mind. What I wouldn't give to have the power to storm in there and burn everything to the ground.

Mamoru's hands fell from Naru as he stiffened, fists clenching. "How long do we have?"

"The next full moon." Naru whispered. That was… two days away; far too much time and yet not enough. Naru looked up at Mamoru, shifting forward as though she wanted nothing more than to fall into his arms once more. He didn't seem to notice at all, his own gaze trained on the door behind us.

"Her identity's been revealed," Ami began. "To the Dark Kingdom, no less. We need to instigate a protection detail, take her into hiding; if the enemy has been watching then our homes aren't safe and we have no way of knowing whether this place has been compromised."

Rei's expression was murderous. " _Damn Usagi._ We'll have to split up to form both a rescue team and a protection detail. If Naru's a target then it's possible Mamoru is in danger as well; this is bad, we don't have the man power to safely accomplish this."

Nephrite's head snapped to Mamoru at the sound of his name. He and Jadeite shared a look, both equally concerned, before putting in their agreements to taking their prince and Naru into hiding. My blood burned at that; didn't they understand that one or two people would not be enough to save Usagi? The Generals looked to Mamoru, imploring him to make the decision and escape with Naru into the night. I watched him as well, suddenly far more afraid than angry; he couldn't stay with Naru, Usagi was in danger, she needed all the help she could get.

Naru wasn't even the actual princess, she didn't need so much protection.

Unfortunately for the Generals, their prince didn't seem to share the same concern for his own wellbeing. In fact, Mamoru seemed to find whatever it was he was searching for, because his gaze cleared then, taking on a determined gleam. He focused on Naru, brushed a lock of red behind her ear, and murmured in a tone somewhere between apology and regret, "Forgive me, Naru, but I can't go with you. Minako is going to take good care of you, and she's going to keep you safe far better than I ever could. I'm so, so sorry but I…"

He swallowed the rest of his sentence, and stepped backward out of Naru's reach. His gaze flickered over to mine for less than a second before focusing on the door. Mamoru marched out, and didn't look back. Nephrite and Jadeite scrambled to follow him, their eyes meeting mine quickly as well; in the wake of his departure, the three of us appeared to sense Mamoru's unspoken words as they hung in the air.

 _I won't leave her._

It filled me with relief.

Rei glanced back and forth between Naru and the door in a strained expression, unsure until, with a curse, she raced out the door to catch up with the Generals. With only the Scouts left, I pretended I didn't see the stunned look on Naru's face (there was no time) and turned to Minako. "You can't split up, Usagi will never make it out of there alive, not without our full strength."

"What choice do we have?" She stressed. "I don't want to leave Usagi there, and I won't, but… Naru is in danger, and the Sailor Scouts have a sworn duty to protect her. If Mamoru is taking Nephrite and Jadeite with him, and Rei is going too, then we're down to three people. I don't know if we can afford to send anyone else out, not when counter measures need to be taken."

"That's not good enough." My voice rose, and I paused, closing my eyes briefly in an attempt to calm myself. Usagi was in danger, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. Except, that wasn't quite true; I couldn't rescue her myself, no, but… I could make sure the rest of the Scouts went. An idea came to me then; a horrible, terrible one that Usagi might never forgive me for. In my desperation, I was willing to do it anyway, so long as it worked. "She needs all of you. Leave Naru with me, I'll watch over her."

"You wouldn't be able to keep her safe if the enemy came."

"I'm not asking." I stood toe to toe with Minako and glared down at her. From the corner of my eye, I could see the other girls bristling, gearing up for a fight. "You _will_ go to the Dark Kingdom, every single one of you. You're going to bring Usagi home or die trying."

Usagi didn't have to forgive me.

She could hate me for the rest of her life, I didn't care.

Minako's gaze was ice, lip curling as she said, "Why would we ever do that?"

Anything to bring her home.

"Because according to Usagi, your Moon Princess is a _fake_ , and she doesn't have the Silver Crystal. You're going to bring Usagi home Minako, before they brainwash her and she leads them to the true princess."

* * *

 _Main P.O.V._

 _I was nowhere, and no one at all._

 _I had no voice, no face, no body; I was nothing, translucent against the void surrounding me. Blue eyes peered into me then, hard and worried; soft lips moved but no words came out. As I sank downward, further into the abyss, a voice called out to me, desperate and pleading._

" _Sailor Moon, this place is not safe. Awaken."_

My eyes snapped open with a start, chest expanding as I took what felt like my first breath in a long time. I gasped for air, fingers clawing into soft material on either side of me. It took a moment for my vision to clear and register the dim, high ceiling before me, the soft bed beneath me. When my breath finally reached a point of somewhat evening out, I was able to focus on my surroundings. I sat up slowly, soaking in the details of the medieval chamber around me as my brain echoed two words again and again in an endless loop.

 _Not safe._

 _Not safe._

 _Not Safe._

As the memories leading to my Naru-induced slumber came back to me, I could literally feel the blood draining from my face; sitting on the curb with Naru as she confessed to have taken notice of a strange man stalking her, the major drain I received the moment she touched me, the blackout, white strands of hair. I had never in my life tasted a more all-consuming emotion then that of fear. You would think that, as someone that carried it with me day after day, I would have grown numb or, at the very least, accustomed to the sensation.

This was not the case.

Dread pooled inward, and I began to feel deliriously light headed as a chill swept over my body, clinging to me like a second skin. In my mind, a new sound slipped into the cacophony of noise, bleeding into an endless, haunting ballad that danced in tune to the quick beats of my heart and carved its words into my psyche.

 _Not safe_

" _Usagi… I keep seeing this man, everywhere I go."_

 _Not safe_

" _No. Get away from her!"_

 _Not safe_

" _I know who you are."_

I could have died then and there.

I shoved off the bed and spun too quickly, the chamber tilting ever so slightly as my eyes locked on the heavy, wooden door. It was the only exit to be seen in this windowless room, and somehow I knew what I would find before my hand made contact with the door. Panic had locked onto me, thrilling up my spine and pushing me forward anyway, because even though I sensed the truth of my intuition, buried deep under my skin, it wasn't enough; I had to _know_ for certain, had to prove it to myself. I curled my fingers around the handle of the door, and shook it violently.

It did not budge.

A lump formed in my throat and my chest tightened, hand slipping away to fall at my side; I felt myself stagger backwards until I hit the foot of the bed. My breath hitched, knees going out from under me as the truth settled in and a bone chilling terror seeped into me. "Oh my god."

I had been kidnapped.

I was alone, a prisoner behind enemy lines, in Beryl's domain and… and the Silver Crystal was _with me_. My stomach plunged as though the floor had dropped out beneath me, and as a tremor encompassed my hands I fought to swallow the baseball blocking my airways. Breathing normally became a challenge, and I wrapped my arms around myself, frantically tossing facts and options together because this wasn't- it couldn't, surely there was a way out, and this wasn't as bad as it seemed.

I had the brooch.

I had the brooch, which meant I could transform into Sailor Moon and… and then what? On enemy lands, surrounded by youma and other nefarious creatures, what chance did I stand? Outnumbered, outmatched, and in unknown territory, what good was Sailor Moon to me? It wasn't like my first time in the park, or with Nephrite in that abandoned neighborhood; both of those times I had been scared out of my mind, barely able to think let alone fight back. I couldn't take on an army.

This chamber was my prison, and it was the only thing separating me from my nightmares. My gaze snapped back to the door, and I found myself analyzing just how many enemies lay in wait behind it; far more than I could rationally fight off, enough to make my stomach roll at the thought of that door opening at all.

I… I didn't know what to do.

I didn't know what to do, didn't know how I could possibly get out of here in one piece when even the mere _thought_ of leaving this room made my knees weak and my throat close up. I wasn't a warrior or a fighter, I couldn't storm my way out of here, I didn't have the strength to face off the very monsters I'd spent so much time running away from, or the courage to try and end them all with the Silver Crystal. I wasn't self-sacrificing, I didn't even know how to use it that way. It was impossible. I couldn't see that third option so I didn't know what to do; outside that door lurked death, and I was _alone_.

This couldn't be happening.

I wanted to scream until my voice left me entirely, smash my fists onto the stone floor until every bone had broken, but terror froze me in place. _Do not draw attention_ , a tiny voice cautioned. I listened, unable to make a sound for fear that someone would come for me; my heart thumped loudly, and I desperately willed it to quiet down. Rage was an emotion I could not afford to fall back on at the moment, and so I found myself spiraling into despair.

This could not be my reality, it simply _could not_ ; not after the countless hours I had slaved, driven myself to the edge in order to stay _safe_ and far away from this war. This couldn't be happening, because I was worked so hard, had given everything I had to secure my future. _Why_ was this happening, when I had suffered and pushed forward through every obstacle piled onto my path? Endlessly scheming, watching my back, putting all the right pieces into place, double guessing and triple checking, persevering under a cloud of fear, paranoia, and doubt in the hopes that everything was going to be okay, only to have my suffering thrown back in my face, my efforts wasted.

A struggle that had surmounted to nothing, in the end.

It was never enough.

Why was it never enough?

And there would be no rescue.

I acknowledged then that, no matter my feelings on the matter, I was probably going to die here. There would be no grand rescue, not from the very people I had just severely humiliated by handing their asses to them; not after lecturing them about what a foolish idea it would be to storm enemy headquarters. I couldn't even blame them, either; after all, these were the consequences of my actions. None of them had any obligation to come to my aid.

Yet as I thought that, the trembling originating in my hands expanded, growing and spreading to the rest of my body. I didn't want to die. I choked on a sob but no tears came as I was forced to face the truth before me; at the mercy of my enemies, I would receive no quick end. I was unable to grasp the full reasoning for why I was here, or how much they knew but… it was only a matter of time, wasn't it? This god forsaken organization was brimming with monsters; the kind that fed off fear and would gladly savor the taste of my screams if given the chance.

My death would be slow, and long.

* * *

Hours passed, hours in which I found myself trapped by the horrific creativity of my own demented mind. Fear was a powerful emotion, and in my physically weakened state I could do little more than watch as it took over, becoming the driving force of my day dreams. I imagined the countless ways I would be maimed, tortured, or killed, could feel the phantom pain and hear the sounds of my own screams echoed back at me.

I remained frozen on the stone floor, a captive of my own thoughts.

I prayed that door wouldn't open.

My musings would drift from time to time; I wondered how long it would be before they came for me, what catalyst would spur their arrival, whether anyone had recognized me, or if they even had any idea who I was. The Silver Crystal was right under Beryl's nose, so close to the thing she worshipped and fed human energy to; how much time remained before they realized it? And if, by some miracle neither of them did, what then?

Would I use it to negotiate for my life?

I wanted to say no, that I would never seal the fates of billions of innocent lives to save my own; I wanted to vehemently proclaim that, the rest of the world aside, I would _never_ betray Matsuo, would rather die than be the reason his life ended. I was a coward though, and when faced with the likelihood of my eventual, horrific death, there was no telling what I would do.

Maybe it wouldn't be physical torture.

Perhaps, instead, Beryl would simply rummage through my mind the way one did at a garage sale, or I would be brainwashed into serving her, or fed to Metaria. I honestly couldn't decide which fate would be worse. Who would be the one to break me, and how long before I was spilling all my secrets, handing over the Silver Crystal for a mere reprieve? I would hold out for as long as I could purely out of spite.

Against my will, my fear-powered brain wandered to the Scouts, the Generals, and how they would perish; a desperate fight on their end against overwhelming odds, unable to do anything as their friends were slaughtered, falling at their feet one by one. I imagined their broken forms surrounding the lifeless bodies of Naru and Mamoru, the two of them in a lovers embrace.

I imagined the Tsukino residence turned to ash and Ikuko's corpse strewn over Shingo's; a mother's final attempt to shield her remaining child. Hajime-sensei, face down on the street, one body among many that had tried to flee, never making it to his brother. Captivating Harumi with ashen skin, his gold eyes glossed over and unseeing, beauty withering away as his body rotted and decomposed along with the Fabler.

Matsuo.

Matsuo, warm brown eyes clouded over, skin colorless and cold to the touch, limbs stiff with rigor mortis and lips open in a silent scream.

I twisted away from the door and emptied the contents of my stomach onto the floor until tears stung my eyes and my throat burned. I hardly noticed it as, without warning, I found myself flooded with images and thoughts of my best friend. How long had it been since I had last seen him, heard his voice? I couldn't remember the last time the two of us had doubled over with stomach-wrenching laughter, breathless and red in the face with tears spilling down our cheeks; I couldn't remember it, and somehow that frightened me, terrified me more than anything else.

Already teetering on the edge of logic and sanity, I tried to recall the last words we'd said to one another and came up blank.

I fell over that edge.

The door clicked, and opened.

The white haired man that strolled in, cape billowing gloriously behind him, was the picture of grace; he was gorgeous, even as he sneered down at me in disdain. Had Kunzite come a moment sooner, I might have lingered on the fact that, if possible, he was even prettier than Mamoru and Harumi combined. At it stood, the notion was passing and vague to the tattered remains of my psyche, easily glazed over by a stronger, more prevalent thought that had taken root a mere second before his appearance.

One last time.

No matter what, _no matter what_ , I wanted to laugh my heart out with my best friend one last time.

Staring up at Kunzite only strengthened my resolve; I didn't calm though, and my mind didn't quiet. The psychological damage was already done; my fear did not lessen, and I continued to shake uncontrollably. He watched me for a moment, taking in my trembling body, the vomit to the left of me, my glassy eyes and the quivering of my lip. I could see it in his gaze, could see the exact conclusion Kunzite came to, analyzing me; I was a frightened wisp of a girl, a total mess in comparison to his pristine appearance and tall, intimidating stature. As he strutted over, wrapped a hand around my upper arm, and yanked me to my feet, I couldn't help thinking that he was right in his assessment.

I was a frightened, wisp of a girl; an absolute mess at every angle.

And I had abandoned all sanity.

Kunzite didn't see the way the fingers of my left hand -my still free, _dominant_ hand- curled into a fist. Like Jadeite and Nephrite, he was cocky; too busy dismissing me to notice much until I brought my fist up in an uppercut, knuckles smashing firmly into his throat, hard enough to make him reel back. A sickening crunch sounded, and then Kunzite was doubled over, hands at his injured throat and making gurgling noises. My foot shot out without thought, delivering the strongest kick I could manage between his legs.

Then Kunzite was no longer standing.

I grasped my brooch, transforming, and as the rush of strength, of raw _power_ filled me there was no righteous anger, no delirium, or delicious sense of invincibility. As always, it was a breath of fresh air, pumping energy into me and clearing the fog from my mind. This time, there was nothing to stifle the fear I felt, nothing to ease the bite of it; that was okay though, because for once the root of my terror did not stem from the monsters and demons that made up the waking nightmare I lived.

The game had changed.

I had no hope left of this war being won, no hope of leaving here unscathed or living a moderately longer life than my last. The truth was, I didn't see a future; I realized now that even with the addition of the Generals and Mamoru, the Sailor Scouts did not have what it took to come out of this war victorious. They had all died the first time around, as had Mamoru and Serenity; it was only thanks to her dying wish that the Scouts had all been able to return to their lives. Cut Serenity out of the equation, and maybe, _maybe_ the Sailor Scouts managed to save the world while dying in the process.

But only until the world needed saving again, and then there was no one left to do it.

I had been a fool from the start to think that it would work.

I didn't see a future; not for me or this world. The fear that fueled me now had very little to do with monsters, or nightmares, or death because we were all going to die anyway, and most of me had already accepted that.

But I would not die in this hellhole, not before I had heard Matsuo laugh one last time.

I would face the end of the world, but not without my best friend at my side.

Kunzite's face was blue as I summoned the moon stick. Blood dripped from his paling lips, and wretched sounds escaped him as he struggled to inhale oxygen only to choke on the blood and hack it back out; from what I could see of his throat between his hands, I had crushed something very important, and the almost caved-in appearance was the problem. If I left now or knocked him unconscious, Kunzite would either die of suffocation or drown in his own blood. He knew it too, and yet there was only a smidgen of fear as he glared up at me. I was not stupid enough to even consider turning my back on him, allowing his injured body to finish what I had started.

I would not underestimate him the way he had me.

My lips curled, baring teeth as I pressed a heeled boot down on his chest, holding him in place. I didn't have to close my eyes to call upon the energy of the Silver Crystal or ask Serenity's help; somehow I simply knew I could do it on my own, and the celestial power flooded to me as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The defiance in his gaze flickered at that moment as he sensed the sudden swell of power in me, and we seemed to come to a mutual agreement then and there.

I was dangerous.

My boot relented, slipping from his chest as he choked. I was standing over him now, a foot on either side of his legs; I leaned closer and hauled Kunzite into an upright position by the front of his uniform, our faces inches apart as the words dripped from my lips like venom. "You're in my way."

His eyes widened.

In a swift, vindictive move I placed the kiss at his brow, this one harsh and far more powerful than the ones before it. The effects were immediate, and startlingly visible as Kunzite seemed to _glow_ in silvery light, wounds healing entirely. Even in the ruin of my mind, where reason and logic had died, I found myself breathless at the sight of it, at the moonlight of my own creation. I had willed this power into existence, without help and of my own strength for the first time and it was doing more than purify, it was _healing_.

It was a sight I would never forget.

* * *

"What do you mean, you didn't know?" I hissed.

Kunzite paused in his scouting of the hall and turned to look at me warily. "I thought you were simply a silly mortal girl the Moon Princess was uncommonly fond of. It was the only explanation, at the time; the Sailor Scouts did not appear to find joy in your presence, they seemed rather irritated, actually. I assumed they were simply indulging her, Your Highness."

"Don't call me that." I said, and Kunzite rolled his eyes. "If you thought Naru was the Moon Princess, why in god's name did you not take her instead?"

"I had planned to, initially." He admitted after a moment. "However, when I saw her fell you with a mere touch, it occurred to me that she might be the cause of Jadeite and Nephrite's disappearance. I reconsidered my options and came to the conclusion that, should I take her pet, the princess would have no choice but to give in to my demands. After all, the Sailor Scouts follow her command, and she has that incessant Tuxedo Mask wrapped around her little finger; if I had the princess under my control, I had them all."

It… made sense, I supposed.

I was still hateful, bitter, and beyond the realms of sanity but I could see where he was coming from. Kunzite peered around the corner once more, and, after a brief moment he announced it clear and began to lead us forward. It was eerily quiet, without a soul in sight and the two of us were on edge because of this; Kunzite himself insisted that this was far from normal, and he seemed concerned that Beryl had not summoned him as something was clearly wrong.

My insides screamed that we were caught, that Beryl knew exactly what I had done to Kunzite and she was now trying to lure us inward. I wanted to flee badly, and I was fighting my instincts to abandon Kunzite in order to do so; he was my ticket out of here, my only true hope of escaping this place alive, and we had made a deal that I would not break unless absolutely necessary. Kunzite would get me out of here alive, but not without first retrieving Zoisite. In my mind, it hardly mattered either way whether we had Zoisite or not; that mission was more or less obsolete.

I might have left Kunzite anyway, had I the courage to.

It was difficult to part though, when I had been so sure I would die alone. A shiver made its way up my spine and I shook those thoughts away, turning my attention back to Kunzite. "Whatever. What I want to know is why this place is deserted. You're already on my bad side, Kunzite; if you lead me into a trap, I _will_ kill you."

And I would.

Whatever moral compass I might have had before now was broken beyond repair. I didn't care what I had to do to make it out of this place, so long as I made it back to Matsuo because nothing had changed. My increased chance at making it out of this hellhole alive did nothing to change the grand scheme of things. The Sailor Scouts would not make it out of this war alive; at best, my life expectancy was that of a few more months, nothing more. I had no qualms about adding a few more sins to the list.

It was easier to admit to myself now how simpleminded I'd been.

I should have known from the start that the absence of Serenity was a hole too big to be filled. Perhaps things would have been different had I been able to rope the Outer Sailor Scouts into this war. I hadn't known anything about them though, hadn't even a clue as where to begin looking. The Generals would not be enough, and I was currently reaping the consequences of my choices.

Kunzite scoffed, pulling me from my train of thought. "I think you will find that I am not so easy to fell now that I'm aware of your capabilities, Your Highness."

"If you call me that one more-"

A slam echoed from further down the hall, and Kunzite pinned me to the wall in a flash, covering my mouth with a gloved hand though I had already silenced. We held our breaths and listened, cheeks nearly brushing as we stared down the corridor in anticipation. The second he heard a quick pitter patter of footsteps, Kunzite was hauling me backwards, down the hall and around the corner we had just come from. He released me and turned, peering around the corner; after a moment, he inhaled sharply and I stiffened.

But then he uttered the words, "Zoisite… he's coming this way."

I relaxed my muscles and pulled him away; Kunzite gave me a baffled look as I tucked his body behind me, gestured for his silence, and turned back to face the corner. I buzzed with nerves, shifting my stance into a defensive one and positioning my feet just so. It was the waiting that nearly did me in; I spent the next few seconds running through options, deciding where I should strike first. However, as the footsteps, firm and hurried, grew louder and closer, something in me seemed to just blank on what I had planned.

Zoisite turned the corner, nearly colliding with me, and I fell back on instinct.

My hands shot out, twisting tightly in the fabric of his uniform to yank him forward as he attempted to back away. Zoisite was not prepared for this, his stance weak and easily manipulated; before he had the chance to even consider full resistance I bashed my forehead into his. Zoisite moaned softly and would have fell to his knees had I not been holding him up, power of the Silver Crystal already flooding to me. I delivered my kiss to the center of his brow, where a slight imprint in the skin could be found courtesy of my tiara.

A silver crescent moon appeared and, satisfied with my work, I dropped Zoisite's unconscious body to the floor. Kunzite dropped to his knees over his comrade and gave me a dirty look. "Easy with him."

I shrugged. I wasn't feeling considerate today.

Suddenly there was a stampede of footsteps, and I spun, heart in my throat.

To my shock _Mars_ hurdled around the corner, slamming right into me; we fell to the ground in a tangle of limbs, knocking the air from me. Then someone tripped over her, adding to the weight. I spat out a bit of Mars' hair as she lifted herself up enough to meet my gaze. We spoke at the same time.

"What the fuck?"

"Thank god!"

Above me, someone muttered, "Is that Usagi-san?"

"Yes." I snapped, wiggling against whatever was digging into my side. "And I'm currently being crushed, so maybe get off?"

There was a bit of muttering, but eventually the weight lifted and I was pulled to my feet by Jadeite. I eyed him and Sailor Mars dubiously as they stared back with relieved expressions, almost as though they were happy to see me for once. The very thought weirded me out enough for another shiver to run up my spine. I scrunched my nose. "What the hell are you two doing here?"

"Obviously we're here to save your sorry behind." Mars answered haughtily, though it had to be said her words lack half the usual bite. "Good job getting kidnapped after that grand speech, by the way; it really resonated with me, a life lesson I'll be sure to never forget." Or let me live down, apparently.

I swallowed the retort at the tip of my tongue.

She was here to save me.

When I had thought I would die here, alone and forgotten, Mars had been on her way to the rescue. Not because she cared about me or anything so soppy, because Mars and I didn't really like each other; no, Mars had come to save me because unlike myself, she was truly a good person. It probably went against her instincts to leave anyone to die so horribly. So I swallowed the (deservingly) rude comeback, looked her right in the eye, and mustered up some sincerity. "Thank you, for coming for me. I hadn't even considered that anyone might and… I'm grateful."

Funny, how painful a few measly words could be.

I locked my expression down, hiding my urge to blanch or maybe cringe. Mars blinked, sort of stupefied, before shaking her head and coming to her senses. She shrugged casually and raised a brow. "Yeah, no problem. It looks like you were doing okay yourself." Her eyes drifted over to where Jadeite had crouched next to his brothers, as Zoisite began to regain consciousness. "Oh, and you even got Zoisite. The others are going to be thrilled when they find out. Why don't you fill me in on the details along the way? We don't have much time."

That was fine with me.

The Generals got to their feet and, after a hasty conversation, decided on our path to freedom. They set off with Zoisite taking the lead, rubbing the crescent moon on his forehead as though it hurt while shooting me displeased looks that I ignored. Mars fell toward the back with me, taking up the rear though we didn't speak as it didn't feel safe; she alternated between watching behind us and peering down every intersecting hall we passed, hovering uncomfortably close to my person.

It was as though she was just waiting for something to pop out and attack us.

This only served to dial my paranoia up to one hundred, and I found myself watching whatever direction she wasn't, images of monsters lurking in the shadows and just out of sight plaguing me all the while. The two of us were so on edge and tuned into the other, that when my brooch _pulsed_ in the middle of an intersection and I jumped in surprise, Mars startled violently in turn.

"Wait." I called, halting our group's movement. I could feel the combined, curious gazes of the Generals as well as the wary, expecting one of Mars settle on me, but I made no further move to speak. My own eyes were trained on the brooch, and then on each of the four corridors. I didn't know what it was that I was expecting, be it danger or something else entirely; all I knew was that Serenity, for whatever reason, had wanted my attention.

The brooch pulsed again, and I felt the strangest sensation; it was almost like the pull I associated with Mamoru, willing me to the hall at my right, only instead of pulling it felt more like a gentle push. Faintly, I heard someone ask me what was wrong. My hand drifted up, pointing to the direction Serenity was willing me towards, and my voice came out soft and dreamlike, "Where does this lead to?"

"It's a rather large lair." Zoisite remarked. "You could go anywhere in that direction really."

"…No." I shook my head, unable to tear my gaze from it. "That hallway, it leads somewhere."

"Yeah, somewhere we aren't going." Mars touched my shoulder, as though to steer me away though there was no force in her hand. "Come on, Usagi. The others are creating a diversion and there isn't much time; we have to go."

I met her dark gaze, firm and almost pleading, and it nearly convinced me.

But then the brooch pulsed once more.

I clenched my jaw, stepped out of Mars' reach. I glanced between her, the Generals, and the empty corridor that called to me. My stomach sank as the brooch pulsed again, and the words tumbled out of my mouth sounding reluctant and pained. "You guys go on ahead. I- I'll catch up."

Mars hissed. "No, Usagi, we're leaving. You can't just wander off on your own after we went to all this trouble to come get you. What happened to not splitting up?"

"Then…" I paused in the middle of my sentence, scrutinizing the Generals; or, more precisely, the fear in their eyes. They knew where this path went, knew and appeared adamant on keeping silent. I had a feeling that I could suggest, even insist on going down that direction and they would refuse. Worry and a bit of fear cut sharply into my chest, but it did not sway my decision; Serenity, for whatever reason, wanted me to go in that direction. I had to trust in her, that she wouldn't purposely lead me to my death. "I'm sorry. I have to go this way."

I spun and marched away from the group at a quick pace, swallowing the lump in my throat.

 _Have faith in Serenity_. I urged myself.

"Wait!" Mars called. She followed behind, catching up about twenty feet into the corridor before yanking me around by my arm. "Don't just-"

I never got to find out the rest though.

At that moment everything seemed to shake and rumble; Mars and I clutched one another and smacked into the wall in our attempt to stay on our feet. Jadeite called out to us, only his words were lost as the ceiling crumbled and began to fall, almost in slow motion. Suddenly, finding my balance proved to be no problem and I was off like a shot, dragging Mars behind me. Rocky ceiling met rocky floor, and to my surprise I could actually feel the separate vibrations as the floor itself cracked beneath our feet and threatened to crumble.

We ran for our lives.

* * *

We were going to be buried alive.

It was all I could think as Mars and I sprinted down the seemingly endless corridor for all we were worth, ground cracking beneath our feet while chunks of rock fell from above not five feet behind us.

 _I was going to be buried alive, crushed under a ton of rocks._ My thoughts spiraled, and with growing horror I realized that I really wasn't going to get a chance to see Matsuo again. Or so I thought, until I glanced to my right to see Mars shooting off a fireball of all things. It hit the floor not twenty feet away, burning an actual _hole_ into the rock, gaping and large enough that I would have to hurdle it to keep moving. Only, I didn't have to because as we came upon it, Mars did the unthinkable.

She tackled me _into_ the still smoldering hole, and we plunged into darkness before tumbling onto solid earth a good twenty feet in. My head smacked against something painfully, followed by pretty much every other part of my body as the two of us continued to roll, momentum and shock absorbing as we went. It was only thanks to the death grip with which Mars clung to me that I was able to tell where the Scout was as the hole above us sealed with debris and we were thrown into absolute darkness.

We rolled to a stop, blind and disorientated.

I groaned, accidentally inhaled dust, and nearly coughed up a lung in my body's violent attempt to expel the substance. Beside me, I could hear Mars struggling to get up, and I rolled away to free the arm that had been pinned beneath me. As my coughing fit subsided, she whimpered in pain and it was such a genuine, distressed sound that it alarmed me even more than the burning hole had.

Something wet felt as though it were dripping slowly down the left side of my face as I turned to her, but in my disorientation I couldn't tell whether the feeling was in my head or not. I could see nothing of Mars in the dark; in fact it was so unbelievably pitch black that I could not see my own nose. She let out a shuddering gasp, and in my panic to see I could only think of one option. I summoned the moon stick, it's silvery light shining bright enough to illuminate the immediate area around us.

My eyes took a moment to adjust to the light, and I blinked rapidly. "Mars? Are you okay?"

Though I knew she clearly wasn't, part of me expected some kind of snarky retort.

Her silence frightened me.

"Mars?" My vision focused, and I found her form, sprawled out on her back beside me. Tears slipped down the sides of her face as I hovered over her, true panic settling in. Her gaze was unfocused, and I hurriedly scanned her, trying to see where the most damage was. In the dark, it was difficult to tell as we were both beat to hell from the fall.

Then I noticed the blood.

It spread sluggishly out from under her back, staining the white of her uniform; blood began to drip past her lips as well. My body froze at the sight, nausea lurching in me as I was starkly reminded of Matsuo, and the state of his spine and legs after having been crushed by that tree. A violent chill worked its way through me as I acknowledged that I could not bear to move Mars and inspect the injury. I took one of her hands in my own, fingers intertwining as I began to babble.

"It's okay, it's okay Mars. You're going to be okay, really, I'm going to fix you, just hang on there, okay? Just- just listen to my voice." I waved the moon stick, mentally chanting the words and throwing all of my horrified focus into it as I continued speaking to her. Mars, for her part, did not seem to hear me as far as I could tell. But then the moon dust was falling, thick and charging the air around us in a way I had never seen it do before.

The wounds on Mars seemed to close up, even the smallest of scrapes and bruises as the moon dust worked its magic on her now glowing form. I felt faint, and forced myself to remain upright, to keep vigil as Mars slowly came to herself. I didn't want to know what that fall had done to her body; considering the height we had fallen and the fact that our landing had been mostly cushioned by her, right onto _rocky terrain_ , I thought it was a miracle the two of us had even lived through it.

I watched in silence as Mars blinked, focusing back into the world.

She did not move for a long time, instead choosing to stare up at the darkness as her tears dried and her breathing evened out. Every now and then it felt as though the open space we inhabited would begin to spin leisurely, and I grounded myself by pressing my palms onto my thighs, nails digging in. Eventually, Mars sat up, turning slowly to me with a haunted look in her eyes. After a moment of staring, she croaked, "You're bleeding."

It did not surprise me. "Where?"

She reached out and brushed at my hairline, her fingertips coming away red. I felt for the cut, gingerly running the length of it; strangely enough, the blood seemed to have already clotted despite the fact that it was a head injury. The gash appeared to stop just short of my temple, and briefly I wondered whether I could consider that to be lucky or not. "It isn't bleeding anymore."

"You should heal it anyway." Mars said.

"I can't." I replied unthinkingly, regretting it immediately after.

"Why not?"

"I don't have much energy left, and I'm afraid to waste the little I do have." It was true; already I could feel the drain this day had taken on me. Naru had stolen some energy, and then I had used more to become Sailor Moon; I had marked Kunzite, followed by Zoisite, and just now a good chuck of what I'd had left had been used to heal Mars. She stared at me, and I shrugged. "If Naru hadn't drained me so much, it probably would have been okay."

The words I left unsaid hung heavily in the air between us.

Naru had reduced me to little more than dead weight.

I could still fight, but only for so long and probably not against more than a single enemy at a time. If we ended up outnumbered, I would be of little help to Mars; she had all but signed her death sentence by following me.

Mars gritted her teeth and stood. "Wonderful."

I moved to stand with her when something at her side caught my eye.

I froze.

It was familiar, familiar in the same way that the Moon Palace had been to me, despite having never actually stepped foot there before. _That's not possible,_ I thought to myself, because it wasn't, there was simply no way and yet there it was, hanging at Mars' side right before my eyes.

The Sword of the Silver Crystal.

 _The Holy Sword_ , Something in me seemed to whisper, awed.

It was the very weapon Serenity had used to end her life.

The one that I somehow inexplicably _knew,_ without a shadow of a doubt, to be stuck into stone, in the ruins of the Moon Palace thousands and thousands of miles from earth. No one should have been able to get their hands on it, no one should have had the power to reach the Moon Kingdom, so _how was it here?_

Images of Queen Serenity swept through me, explaining things to the Sailor Scouts. Things I quite adamantly did not want them to know, even if we were all doomed anyway. Serenity's mother would know; she would _know_ I was an imposter, a parasite that took over her daughter's body. It was a feeling I couldn't shake, something I was positive of, knew in my very bones; she would know, and she would destroy me for it.

How much did Mars know?

"Where," I spoke breathlessly, voice barely more than a whisper. "Where did you get that from, Sailor Mars?"

My gaze drifted up to her face, soaking in the sharp expression, the way her dark eyes narrowed. She seemed to contemplate me for a moment, hand falling easily against the hilt of the sword. "You recognize it."

"Mars." My voice took on a dangerous quality then. "Where did you get that from."

Her brows furrowed, something akin to surprise flashing across her face.

Hesitantly, Mars replied, "I didn't get it from anywhere, Usagi. It just… appeared to me, right out of thin air the moment I joined the Generals and Mamoru to come find you."

It didn't make any sense, and I could see no lie in her words.

I stared at the sword, mind racing; if the Scouts hadn't retrieved it themselves, hadn't gone to the Moon Kingdom, than it should not be here. The fact that it was… well, it could only mean one thing. Someone had purposely planted it in front of Mars, someone wanted her to have it, to bring it here of all places. Surely it would not have been easy to obtain the sword to begin with; no one would go through that much trouble only to lay it at a Sailor Scout's feet, not without good cause.

It had to be bait, or a trap of some kind.

Good things, lucky coincidences, simply did not happen to people like us.

I straightened and turned away, casting out the silvery light of the moon stick to guide our way. The pull was back, and with little other option open to us I simply started walking that way, silently praying that Serenity knew what she was doing. Mars stumbled to keep up, curious stare on me.

"You know this sword, right?" She began, "You're familiar with it, so you must have some idea as to where it came from, and who gave it to me. Why aren't you telling me what you know? What does it mean to you?"

I paused, gaze unwillingly drawn to the sheathed weapon.

A blood stained gown, and lifeless blue eyes flashed through my mind.

"That sword," I said slowly, hauntingly, "Is a wretched thing that should have stayed forgotten. Tread carefully, Mars."

She seemed at a loss for words at that, and we continued on through the darkness in silence. As we trekked onward, the sword lingered at the back of my mind; something buried deep within me, at the core of my being, could not help the unwavering feeling of _wrongness_ at its presence.

That sword did not belong here.

* * *

A/N

Three days from now, our last chapter in the Dark Kingdom Arc will be posted!

I couldn't tell you why this chapter was so difficult to get through. I'm still not completely satisfied with it but after days of agonizing, tearing it apart and putting it back together again, I can do no more. I was going to answer some frequently asked questions but my brain has turned into a puddle of mush after sitting in front of this laptop for the past twelve hours. Really, terribly sorry for whatever grammar errors I no doubt missed in my proof read. Answers to come in the next chapter.

Okay, I have to go now and stare at something that isn't a computer screen.

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N**

Yes the chapter was gone for a handful of hours.

Some of you darling readers PMed me concerning your confusion that stemmed from the vagueness of the final battle and I also received a few reviews mentioning the same thing, so instead of doing that reveal in the next chapter as I had planned, I decided to take this chapter down and mesh it together. I do apologize, as an author there are times when it doesn't really occur to me that something might be too vague for the reader; after all, I know the details so of course it would seem clear to me. But hey, that's what growing and learning is all about, right?

New and hopefully improved chapter sixteen!

Disclaimer: Warning! Unreliable narrating ahead!

* * *

There was something to be said about the allure of darkness.

Humans liked to romanticize the night, the appeal of all things stygian as though they truly grasped the meaning of it. When you heard others speak, it was of the seduction of stepping into the shadows, of dancing with your inner demons in the most iniquitous corners of your mind; it was the delicious temptation of sin, the charm of devils and the enticement of hell through rose tinted lenses.

People wrote poems and songs, a flowery illusion of dark chocolate, wine, fresh ink on paper, the feathers of a raven, the last embers of a fire; as if these things could ever be anything more than a poor imitation of true darkness. When you took the stars, snatched the moon right out of the sky, nighttime no longer held the same enchantment. Humans liked to romanticize the dark, liked to pretend at times that it was where they belonged; but oh, how terribly wrong they were.

There was nothing beautiful about absolute darkness.

The light glowing off the moon stick guided our way through the seemingly endless open area, illuminating our immediate surroundings; and by immediate, I mean about a five foot radius, at which point the light was swallowed whole. There was something terribly wrong with this cave-like structure; it was as though this was the place where light came to die, where darkness became an actual substance. With each step we took I became more and more certain of my initial musings; human beings were not meant to thrive in such a tenebrous environment. Time and direction held no meaning here; the only thing that seemed to matter in this light devouring space were the steps you took.

I counted each one to distract myself.

There were no walls to be found, no ceiling to be seen though I knew one existed; save for the ground beneath our feet it was as though the darkness encompassed all. I felt small in comparison, a fawn amongst predators; I was strung tight, hair standing on end because it was far too quiet, the way a forest grew silent in the sights of death. I told myself there was nothing lurking in the shadows, nothing stalking us like prey, waiting for the kill. I remained unconvinced and what's worse, a teeny, crazed part of me _dared_ any creature to attack, to put itself between me and my final wish.

It'd be the last thing it ever did.

"How much further?" Mars stood so close to me that the words were murmured right into my ear. It was hard to not jerk away from her proximity after months of evasion, but I managed to stifle the reflex; as much as Mars irritated me, I was sort of glad for her presence. I would have lost my mind had I fallen down here myself.

The push felt stronger, and the brooch pulsed almost as if in answer to her question.

"Not long." I exhaled, pace quickening in relief. My grip on the moon stick wavered, muscles aching from the constant loosening and tightening of my hold. Half of me instinctively wanted to drop it, because holding the moon stick meant I had one less fist to use should the need arise. I knew it was stupid, because clearly the damn thing was a _weapon_ but my mind refused to make that connection; to me, it was only natural that my greatest weapon came in the form of my hands and feet.

That said, the only reason I didn't abandon the moon stick was because the other half of me all but screamed that being able to see was far more important.

A valid point.

I turned to Mars as she began to say something, only to cut off when, out of nowhere, we were assaulted by blinding light. I cursed, flinching and covering my eyes; Mars shifted beside me, a hand coming to grip my shoulder as she too hunched over in pain. I blinked rapidly as my eyes adjusted, vision slowly coming into focus; when my sight finally decided to work properly, I could only stare in disbelief.

The endless abyss was gone, and we now stood in a corridor, one that looked no different from the last. I spun, and met the wall, testing my weight against it in vain. There was no doorway or anything, so where the hell had we been just then?

 _Closer,_ a voice echoed softly. That gentle push of encouragement seemed to wrap itself around my heart then and there, willing me down the hall. My body moved of its own accord, taking that first step; this was where we were supposed to go, perhaps even the way out.

Mars jerked me back by my wrist. "Hold on."

"What?" I tried to pull away, but she didn't loosen her grip. "Come on Mars, let go. This is it, it's where we're supposed to go. I can feel it."

Mars snapped then, gaze burning. "You know what? No. I've had about all I can take of your creepy, vague attitude. You don't _know_ anything Usagi; you've never been here before. For all we know, that super special feeling of yours is from the enemy, and we're about to walk right into a trap!"

"It's not-"

"It _is._ " Her voice was quiet despite its intensity, as if she wanted to shout but was unwilling to. "I'm telling you, I have a bad feeling about this. That is not the way out, and we aren't sticking around to investigate either, got it? The Scouts, the Generals, Mamoru, they're all out there right now, risking their lives to save _your_ ass; we aren't wasting another minute on this."

"The Generals are probably dead." I almost regretted the words when Mars flinched, reeling back as if struck.

"What?"

I swallowed. "Jadeite, Kunzite, Zoisite, they're probably dead from the ceiling caving in. Did it ever occur to you that maybe they were leading us the wrong way, and that, by going in the direction that I sensed, the two of us had inadvertently escaped death?"

It seemed the most likely scenario.

Under my stare, something crumbled in Mars; her features twisted, posture slumping ever so slightly as the likelihood of my words and their consequences dawned on her.

 _Grief,_ I thought musingly, pinpointing the emotion after a few seconds of observation; it nearly surprised me, because for some reason I simply hadn't expected that specific feeling. Mars managed alright, pulling herself back together in the span of a heart beat though she hadn't actual come undone to begin with. Of course, then she looked at me, the mild curiosity in my gaze, my casual, unbothered stance, and nearly lost it.

"Don't you care?" She cried, tone somewhere between disbelief and anger as she advanced, lip curled into a snarl even as she blinked away tears. "What is wrong with you? They came here to rescue _you_ , they might be dead and you aren't even bothered?"

I… wasn't.

It was sad, yes, but only in the most distant sense; no different than hearing about a tragedy on the news. I hadn't known any of the Generals personally, hadn't really spent any length of time with them or watched them die firsthand so it didn't really stir anything in me. We were all dead anyway; what difference were a few months to me when they were practically strangers? Three of them had scarred me for life, which I was still coping with, and by now I'd reached a point where empathy was non-existent.

I had abandoned sanity, and humanity had abandoned me.

I turned my back on Mars and followed the pull; half way down the hall more words seemed to burst from her, and I paused out of curiosity more than anything else.

"You were supposed to be our savior." Contempt, betrayal, grief colored her words, and I had never known it was possible to contain that much emotion in a single sentence. "The last piece to the puzzle, the guardian of the moon; we had thought that surely, if anyone knew the Moon Princess's whereabouts, it would be you. Luna had searched for you for so long, and then she'd found me. We looked _everywhere_ for you, for the great Sailor Moon, our supposed comrade; a Sailor Scout all alone in the world."

She shook her head laughing, and it was a depreciating sound if I'd ever heard one. "We were so excited to find you and all this time, you hadn't wanted anything to do with us. The Sailor Scouts were nothing to you, our duties tossed carelessly aside like a used tissue. You think so little of us and our cause that you can't even distinguish between the two; you can't even acknowledge us as individuals. We aren't people to you."

There was a weight in the pause that followed, and I had the impression she was waiting for me to say something. Maybe to deny it, or grow angry at the accusation, but in truth she'd painted a pretty clear picture of me. I still didn't really want anything to do with them, with the supernatural world in general; I just wanted to get out of here. How long had I been awake? When was the last time I'd eaten or drank anything? I didn't care about this confrontation, and if Mars was going to insist on it then she could argue with herself, because I wasn't wasting anymore time here.

Mars moved to continue, much to my dismay.

Of course, she didn't get to tell me off because at that moment, vines shot out of the ground and _tore_ through her sternum, impaling her. I barely managed to release a shriek before they were on me too.

* * *

The youma presented me to Beryl like a prize.

Something had happened in the time between my capture, and this very moment; it was a thought, a conclusion, that occurred only in my mind. As no one else was privy to it, my world was the only one shaken. Beryl sat on her throne and watched as I was brought before her and forced onto my knees. The vines holding me fell loose as I was released; I did not move.

Behind me, the body of Sailor Mars hit the floor with finality.

The air in the throne room weighed thick and heavily, almost painful; it was like inhaling smoke without all the coughing, slowly burning you from the inside out. Monsters crowded around us, lining the room and closing off any route of escape. Their stares were hungry, delighted, malicious, sawing into me from every angle. I ignored them in favor of Beryl; my eyes remained dry, and I did not tremble or go weak with fear under her gaze as she drank the sight of me in.

I just stared in the wake of realization.

Beryl, of course, did not know that I was only capable of giving her half my attention just then, and I suspected that she would hardly care either. She leaned forward, gripping the arms of her throne as her red gaze examined me. "…So you are the one then, hm?"

Her voice was husky, dark, and… intrigued. "Quite the fuss over such a little thing… Sailor Moon, was it? I confess, the name does not ring any bells despite my pursuit of war against the Moon Kingdom; in fact, before today I remained entirely unaware of your existence. That alone is rather telling. You do not actively partake in battle against the Dark Kingdom; I've been watching, and I have not seen you once."

Beryl paused, allowing me a chance to give a response.

I blinked, features blank. She was forced to fill the silence once more. "I do not believe you fight alongside the Sailor Scouts, which makes their desperation to retrieve you all the more interesting."

Without breaking my stare, she signaled to one of her servants. There was a commotion behind me. Beryl's lips curled upward into a callous smile as she descended from her throne, and I knew then that I should have been scared. Something in me had fractured though, shattered beyond repair in the wake of my epiphany, and I did not think I would ever be the same again.

Because I could still feel that gentle push.

I could still feel it, and it led right to Beryl.

Serenity hadn't been guiding me from danger, aiding me in my escape as I had previously thought; no, rather, the entire time she'd been luring me here, to Beryl and certain death as Mars as predicted. I'd put my trust in Serenity, had handed her the reins to my salvation and instead she had led me to my demise. There was no room left in my heart for anything other than the overwhelming sense of betrayal and finality. Had Serenity truly been so unwilling to allow me to flee this place?

So unwilling that she would take my choice from me?

Someone screamed then, a tormented, despairing sound, so akin to a mother's wail that I was jarred enough to break Beryl's gaze and peer over my shoulder. There, about a dozen feet or so back, Jupiter and Mercury were restrained and on their knees; both sets of eyes locked on Mars' body, horrified, and the scream seemed to have come from Mercury. To their left, all four Generals stood in a single row, also restrained as the creatures holding them hostage shoved each of the Generals forward.

They were forced to kneel on my right, a little ways back.

Distantly, a part of me mused that to put me at the front of this procession, dead centered with the throne while those that troubled Beryl most were farther back, could only mean that I was the main attraction. I returned my sights to Beryl and watched as she glided across the stone floor to the Generals, coming to a stop at Jadeite. Under the weight of her blood thirsty gaze, Jadeite's glare was mutinous and it did not waver as she ran a hand through his blond locks. Beryl tightened her grip and used his hair to tilt Jadeite's head upward, revealing the silver crescent moon that adorned his brow.

I could sense the Generals stares turning to my person as Beryl addressed me. "I know the mark of the Moon Kingdom when I see it. I presume this little brand is of your own design?" She released Jadeite and turned her back on him in favor of me. "It's quite the clever rune; irritating to be sure, but clever nonetheless. No matter how hard I try, I simply cannot seem to get into their heads anymore, or corrupt their hearts; my influence no longer reaches them and moreover, they're hidden from me."

I had rendered her blind to their movements.

It was a small accomplishment, one that fell flat given my mental state; that sense of finality overtook the sting of betrayal, grounding me as I conceded that I was going to die here. I did not shy away as Beryl approached me and her thin, elongated fingers took hold of my chin, sharp nails scraping the soft skin underneath.

That gentle push was overpowered as a familiar pull took hold of me, a faint prickle at the back of my neck.

As Beryl scrutinized me, blood thirsty melted away to something far more wicked. "Oh, I like you Sailor Moon. I can see why you are not part of the Sailor Scouts; it's clear to me now, looking at you. My dear girl, there is ruthlessness in you; a bit of sadistic savagery that is so unlike that of the justice seeking Sailor Scouts. Right there, just under the surface; a vicious gleam in your eyes that can never be completely hidden. I would have remembered eyes like yours had we met before."

It was almost funny.

She should have remembered this face, and now apparently it was my _eyes_ of all things that tricked her. Serenity had soft, warm eyes; eyes full of love and forgiveness and I remember thinking how stark a difference those eyes had been from mine. Was the difference truly so vast that Beryl could not recognize the face of the person she had envied most?

The grin on Beryl's face widened and her hand dropped as she straightened to her full height. My gaze drifted higher, above her to the stone beams that supported the great hall's structure. There, peering out from the rafters, I found the source of that pull.

Mamoru and Venus stared back at me.

Mamoru's expression was so chalked full of emotion that it might as well have been blank for all I understood it. Venus, on the other hand, had the kind of look about her that I'd tasted before and knew rather well. As she strained to keep her eyes on me and away from the body that laid at my back, I put the words to that taste; Bloodlust, Fury, Vengeance.

I blinked and brought my wandering eyes back down to Beryl.

I spoke, voice soft. "I am not prone to bouts of compassion for humankind, and nor am I afflicted with a compulsion of self-sacrifice that is so common among Sailor Scouts; such things are not in my nature. My first instinct is not obligation to a millennia old cause or duty to a dead monarchy, but rather survival; the wellbeing of myself before others above all else, if you will. In light of that, any unwillingness to affiliate myself with the Sailor Scouts should come as little surprise, wouldn't you agree?"

My words sank in and Beryl let out a delighted laugh, a hand coming to rest daintily at the base of her throat. "How _remarkably_ splendid that is to hear. You see, it just so happens that I find myself down a few commanders. I have a proposition for you, Sailor Moon. Pledge yourself to the Dark Kingdom, declare your loyalty and swear an oath of servitude to me for the rest of time. Tell me, Sailor Moon; what is it that you desire most in this world?"

I paused, staring up at her.

No one had bothered to contain me, and so slowly, I rose to my feet without opposition. Behind me, Mercury sobbed quietly as she had been doing for some time, and I found myself shifting sideways to keep her, the generals, and Beryl in my line of sight. The question gnawed at me internally, relentless and oddly heavy in a way I wouldn't have thought possible at this point. After all, what relevance did such a question even have at the end of the world? Mars was dead and we were surrounded on all sides; there was no coming back from this, no chance of making it back to Matsuo alive, and yet the question continued to plague, quiet as its presence was.

 _What is it that you desire most in this world?_

What did I want more than anything in the world? I wasn't sure anymore. To leave this place alive, to see my best friend again, to live a long life, or to spend just one day free from the weight I carried; to learn everything I could from Hajime-sensei, to see a hundred more ideas breathed into life at the Fabler, to have just a single moment carefree bliss, to go home to my own world.

Those were all things I had once wanted most.

I glanced over to the Sailor Scouts, soaking in Jupiter's stricken, tear stained face and her silent grief; Mercury's shaking shoulders, gaze dim and trained on the ground. The pale, still body of Mars, the words she had spat at me, the echo of her lifeless body hitting the floor. I thought of Venus, hiding on the beams, forced to watch the execution we both knew was coming one way or another and the wrath on her adolescent face, the bloodthirst in her gaze; a promise of retribution that would be kept.

They were so young.

Too young to be fighting a supernatural war, just as Serenity had been. They were just kids in the end, a couple of fourteen year olds that had _no business on the battlefield_ , no place being here. Yet when push came to shove every single one of them had risen to the occasion, had answered the call. None of them had asked for this, and now Mars was _dead_ and the others were next and they had failed in a duty that should have never been asked of them in the first place; a mission the Sailor Scouts never stood a chance of accomplishing without Serenity, a burden that had always been far too heavy to place on children.

 _What is it that you desire most in this world?_

I wanted all the things I had coveted before and I would continue to want them for the rest of my life along with a few others; however, none of those selfish, desperate wishes of mine were what I wanted most. My feet moved without thought, carrying me away from Beryl, beyond the Generals, and past the Scouts to stop at Mars. She was sprawled face down on the stone, one arm out and the other tucked beneath her. I crouched down next to her, ignoring the youma that lurked on her other side, and as my fingers curled around the hilt of the Holy Blade I finally knew the answer to Beryl's question.

At this moment in time, there was only one want, new and unyielding, that rose above the rest.

An all-consuming desire to watch this shithole burn.

What happened next is difficult to explain.

I wrenched the sword from its sheath with the knowledge that there would only be time for one move, one moment of the unexpected before that window closed and that I could not waste it. I sensed the youma reacting, ready to come down on me but I did not strike to save myself as instinct demanded. I _spun_ , tossing the sword in the air with every ounce of my strength as adrenaline lit my veins afire once more.

The blade soared high, past the Generals and far above Beryl.

As though our minds were one, Venus was already jumping from her perch, _sailing_ through the air. Half a second later roses rained down around her, injuring creatures and creating a diversion.

Venus caught the Holy Blade.

The youma behind me was a breath away, too close for me to evade. My gaze on the blonde was rapture, determined to see this end as Venus swooped down on her victim, an avenging goddess.

Scorching heat traced my back, a sudden outburst of raw light. Steel cut into flesh, separating Beryl's head from her shoulders; two bodies thumped heavily onto the ground as a head rolled to a stop. Venus landed lightly on her feet as though the height were nothing, though the drop had to have been over thirty feet. Without pause,Venus threw herself at the nearest enemy in a fury of slashes and crescent beams like a woman possessed. Mamoru had appeared on the ground between what felt like one heartbeat and the next when I hadn't been paying attention to free the Generals.

I spun, catching sight of charred remains that had begun to evaporate.

Mars stared weakly up at me.

A choking sound escaped me as I dropped to her side and the moon stick popped into existence. A gaping hole in her torso, half of her blood on the floor and she was firing off attacks? How was that remotely possible? "Mars-"

"Rei." She retorted breathlessly, apparently having the energy to interrupt me even with one foot in the grave. She continued before I had the chance to voice my confusion, her gaze simmering. "My name isn't Mars. It's Rei, and I'm more than just a Sailor Scout. My name is Hino Rei, I'm a person, and I _matter_. Don't you ever forget that."

Fourteen years old, with wildfire in her veins and too stubborn to die; there would be no forgetting Hino Rei. I managed to dredge up something resembling a grin despite the chaos breaking out around us. "I was right, Rei; you really are a damn cliché, straight out of a slasher film. Unbelievable."

She smiled faintly at the randomness of my words and allowed her eyes to close as I did my magic and moon dust began to shimmer down on her form. As Rei slowly healed I scanned the room, taking in the various battles that had broken out; we were winning for the moment, but the number of enemies seemed endless. Two monsters were in the act of pouncing on the weak links that were Rei and I when they were suddenly cut in half by a golden beam of light.

The parts began to disintegrate immediately, to my relief.

I focused on Venus and was more than alarmed at what I saw; she cut down monsters mercilessly, left and right before moving onto the next ones. She didn't pause for a single breath, even when the opportunity presented itself, and though she moved expertly, efficiently, Venus' eyes were glazed over as though she was seeing a different battle entirely. My earlier train of thought came back to me, and suddenly a woman possessed fit all too nicely.

 _Minako,_ I reminded myself.

Venus was a battle hardened veteran, but this was Minako; she shouldn't be so skilled at wielding a sword, not in this life where she had learned to fight with the chain at her waist and those light-based attacks. Minako was deadly with that weapon in a way that she simply couldn't be, not with the absence of the memories of her past life. Unease crept through me. I had an inkling of what had caused this behavior and I wanted to kick myself then because I had _known_ something was wrong with that sword; by all accounts the Holy Blade should not be here, and its unlikely appearance had bothered me.

How could I have been so careless?

I wasn't exactly in top condition though. Since waking to find myself here over twenty four hours ago, I'd had no food, water, or sleep to help stave off the aftereffects of Naru's drain, nothing to aid my recovery. Mental state aside, I was weak, and my mind wasn't too sharp at the moment, possibly from that head injury I hadn't healed. I was running on fumes here, upright from adrenaline more than anything really but it was a poor excuse for handing the sword to Minako so thoughtlessly.

I prayed it didn't come back to bite me.

My attention was ripped from her then as a shiver ran up my spine. That gentle push was back, urging me to focus on something and the mere feeling made my hair stand on end. It drew me in naturally, and a second later I found what I was looking for; there, across the floor the detached head of Beryl gazed straight back at me, lips curled up in the faint beginnings of a smile.

My breath hitched.

The severed head _shrieked_ with peals of bloodcurdling laughter.

* * *

Kunzite was the first to understand.

Our gazes collided across the room for a split second, a single heartbeat, and in his eyes I could see it so clearly; a flicker of dawning horror. Then, in the blink of an eye he turned away, grabbing the closest person to him (Minako), and shouted for us all to _run_. None of the youma even attempted to stop him, to stop any of them as they fled, too entranced by the high pitched laughter echoing off the walls to care.

I stood frozen though.

I couldn't look away, not as Beryl's head began to drag across the floor, bright red hair trailing behind as it was drawn to the rest of her body by dark, demonic strings. I could not tear my gaze away as the head reattached itself, and her corpse sprung to its feet in an uncoordinated motion in the same way I had seen a marionette move. I only came to my senses when Ju- _Makoto,_ hauled me away by the back of my shirt and out of the throne room. I saw the various monsters and creatures we'd been fighting all kneel before their queen. Then they too began to shriek, this time in terror and agony as the life force was drained from them and their bodies because to wither up.

I turned away and stumbled into a flat out sprint.

This was it, the very worst of my nightmares come to life before me.

We threw ourselves around corners with reckless abandon, tearing down corridors at a break-neck speed. Jadeite had scooped up Rei's unconscious form and had I been in a state of anything less than utter chaos, it might have impressed me how easily he seemed to be able to keep up with Kunzite at the front of our procession. As it was, I was barely functioning and easily sated by the simple fact that Rei hadn't been left behind before the vague notion passed all together.

 _Running is pointless._ Something in me whispered.

 _Fuck off_ , I spat internally, sickened by the truth of its words.

There would be no escaping Metaria, nowhere we could go where she would not find us and yet I continued to run for my life anyway because who in their right mind would stop? Death felt like a given at this point, especially after the acknowledgement that if this battle didn't kill the Sailor Scouts, then the next surely would; death was something I'd come to somewhat accept the inevitability of in the past day, but this was different.

 _Not like this_ , I prayed. If this world was doomed and I was going to die then fine; I'd die doing my damnedest to take my murderer down with me, to go down with my best friend at my side. But not like this, any other death than this; Naru's drain had the power to leave me speechless with agony and unable to move. What she did _hurt_ , and it would be absolutely nothing compared to Metaria. I shuddered at the thought. Behind us, tortured screams shadowed our every step as the Caliginous Kingdom slowly fell to none other than its very own queen.

All I had wanted was to die on my own terms.

Kunzite, to my surprise, appeared to still possess some semblance of intelligent thought; thankfully he hadn't been blinding running in an attempt to flee a painful death like I had assumed. Instead, Kunzite had been leading us with an actual destination in mind, and soon we scrambled up two flights of stairs and through a doorway to find the outside world. Of course, as our group scuttled out and forged onwards I lost all appreciation as the arctic temperature shocked my system, and I was starkly reminded of where enemy headquarters was located.

I was in a god forsaken skirt in the _North Pole._

We continued to retreat, bolting through the icy tundra without pausing and what a wretched mistake it was. Every breath brought air so cold it burned my lungs, each breeze had my eyes watering a little more and the cold seemed to bite into whatever exposed skin it could find, starting at the tips of my ears. My muscles screamed from exertion, already strained from lack of rest and a stitch formed in my side.

I was already starting to fall behind the others when snow somehow began to find its way into my boots. The metal of my tiara cooled to a point where it stung my forehead, and I endured it for another ten minutes before I could take no more. I didn't have the endurance everyone else had; extended running was one of my weaknesses, I'd _known_ it was a problem but had neglected to do anything about it and now it was coming back to haunt me. I couldn't keep up with them, and my subconscious began dredging up reasons to stop; there was nowhere to go, it was too cold, I was miserable, we were just going to die anyway.

 _There's no immediate threat within sight,_ It murmured. _They'll run forever, you can't keep pace anyway, you'll be left behind. Aren't you tired? Wouldn't it be nice to rest?_

My body wouldn't hold out, not in my current condition and even if I was able to keep going it made little difference when there was no safe haven to run to. The cold was probably going to kill me before Metaria; if I stopped now, curled into a ball and laid down it definitely would. Freezing to death was painful only for a while, and then it was like falling asleep, right? The thought made my shoulders lighter. This frigid wasteland had been the death of my will to flee an inescapable enemy.

Running served no purpose now.

I was already a good four feet behind Makoto when I stopped running entirely, hunching over slightly to catch my breath; the stitch in my side pinching with every inhale, only adding to my physical misery. When I glanced up the group was a good thirty feet ahead and still going strong, looking for all the world as though the cold were a mere inconvenience. To my surprise, Rei was wake; she peered over Jadeite's shoulder and met my gaze square on, if a little dazed.

Suddenly, Jadeite was skidding to a halt, head snapping around in my direction.

His actions did not go unnoticed by the others, and they too came to a stop, swiveling around. They began to jog back towards me, and as soon as we were within speaking distance I waved them off. "Go, keep going. I'm staying here."

Mamoru flinched, stepping forward. "That's not funny Usagi. I know you're tired, but we can't stop ye-"

"It's not a joke, Boy Scout." I laughed, bones chattering. It was so, so cold; I would have set myself on fire to get warm at this point. As I spoke, part of me wondered if it would be all that different from how I felt now. "I'm staying here, in the ninth circle of hell. I'm sorry it turned out this way, that my rescue attempt would kill you all; I mean, we were all going to die at the end of this war anyway, since we weren't going to win, but I'd thought you would have had more time. My fault for getting kidnapped."

My fault for becoming Usagi.

Mamoru was at a loss for words momentarily.

"Don't do this." His voice was breathless, gaze pleading. Mamoru took another step, this time with his arms out as though to reach for me. I admitted to myself then how much I would have liked to move into his embrace; my heart panged, and it was the kind of feeling that made me glad I'd be dead soon so I wouldn't have to feel it again. "Don't- you're just tired Usagi, it's the exhaustion talking. I'll carry you, okay? If running is too much for you then I will carry you, so don't say that."

I hated both of us, hated him for the sudden rush of emotion swelling in me when I was so tired and didn't want to feel anything anymore, and hated myself for reasons my mind couldn't quite grasp. I could not stand him and felt a distant sense of disgust at myself.

I still wasn't going.

"We don't have time for this." Minako snapped. "Get your ass into gear Usagi, or so help me I will drag you home myself."

Through chattering teeth, I murmured, "Nice try, but I'm not that easy. At least buy me dinner or something first before you go thinking about taking me home."

This was apparently the wrong thing to say, as Minako all but exploded with rage, storming over to me. My body refused to straighten out on its own, and the only reason Minako didn't tower over me at that moment was because she had gripped me by the collar of my shirt, lifting. My feet barely brushed the ground as she got right in my face and snarled, "Let me make myself clear; you've been the _bane_ of my existence since the day I received that god damn letter. You have no idea the lengths I went to in order to get to where I am today, the stress, the _aggravation_ of putting your hints together.

"I went to hell and back to find the other Scouts and then the princess, I devoted everything to this cause, to fulfill my duty as leader of the Sailor Scouts and just when I began to think that maybe you aren't the devil incarnate, that you care in your own way, you go and _cross the line_. I know the truth about Naru; you have all but spat on my hard work and I have had _enough_. We're going home, you're going to bring me to the real Moon Princess, and after that you will _never_ come between me and my duty again."

Minako's eyes all but glowed with ferocity, and I would have been wary, possibly alarmed or scared had I been able to feel anything over the frostbite seeping into my bloodstream. I had hurt her by keeping my silence about Naru, and oddly enough, I felt that now it would be too cruel to tell Minako the truth; that Serenity wasn't around anymore, that she'd been too late.

"Go home, Minako." I released myself from her grip, stepping back. "Go home, have dinner with your family, and if you have the time, use it to do whatever it is that you want before the world ends. The princess… she is in a place that cannot be reached right now; not by you anyway."

She read the truth in my eyes, a truth she hadn't been ready for. Minako stumbled back a few steps stricken, and she was not the only one; from the shock on Rei's face, and the pained expression Mamoru wore, I gathered that somehow, they had missed the big Naru reveal though I wasn't sure how. Silence descended as the information settled in, and I wondered if that would be the end of it. They would go now, surely; I had caused the lot of them enough pain to warrant it.

Makoto stepped forward, hands balled into fists at each side. "I'm not leaving without you, Usagi. We've already come this far, and Matsuo's waiting for you to return."

I stared at her.

I wasn't entirely sure they would even make it back to Tokyo before Metaria caught up, or how much time they would have should they make it. Makoto had no family waiting for her at home, no one that she had any obligations to, and as horrible as it sounded, I was unbearably grateful for it.

"Give Matsuo my love, when you see him Makoto; please, please tell him how much he meant to me." Even now, frozen to the bone, world weary, and in wreckage from the horrors of the last twenty four hours, even now I wanted to see him one last time. "I was so alone, drowning under the burden of my own mind. He saved me from myself, made it just a little bit easier to breathe, and I…" My throat tightened. "Just tell him for me, okay?"

Makoto's expression twisted as she shook, and I did not think it was from the cold.

"Don't, you can't ask that of me." Her voice was laced with anguish and rose with every word. "How do I face him if I return and you aren't with me? How do I tell him that I couldn't bring you home to him, that I _failed_ him? I promised to bring you home, I swore I would; don't make me a liar Usagi. You're giving up before the fight has started!"

Maybe I was.

I was so tired though, tired and frozen and above all else, hopeless; maybe there really was a way through this, somewhere we could survive Metaria, in the Moon Kingdom, perhaps, if we could somehow raise a barrier or something. If there was a solution, a happy ending, I couldn't find it in my weary state, and if I couldn't find it then there was nothing to push me forward, to keep me going. I wanted to sleep, to curl up under a warm blanket and be free from the thoughts that plagued me.

I wanted to return to that nothingness, before I had become Usagi.

This world had drained me for all I was worth and now I just didn't have enough me left to keep going, not in this cold, not after the trauma I had just endured, and not when there was no enemy in sight to spur me into action.

"I have a request, Makoto." Last words were supposed to be important; I wanted these words to be what they should. My mind was as cloudy as the overcast sky now that I had given in, and I fought to express myself clearly. "I won't ask the impossible of you, to save him and protect him no matter what, because that would be cruel. So between us, let me ask something within the realms of your capabilities. Stay with him, okay? Until the very end, stay at Matsuo's side in place of me."

I had wanted to be there, to have him next to me when death came calling.

I didn't have the strength left but the thought that Matsuo could die alone was unacceptable, unbearable. It was the only thing that stirred my weary heart, called it to action.

Last words, I wouldn't get another chance.

Of course, only a second after thinking that was I proven right.

* * *

The moment Metaria appeared over the horizon, I felt it in my soul.

It didn't matter that she was approaching from the west, where we'd come from and therefore the direction my back was turned to; it didn't matter because there was no mistaking or overlooking a presence like hers. Metaria's aura was suffocating in a way that put Beryl to shame; If Beryl's aura felt like breathing in smoke, then standing in Metaria's presence for any length of time was akin to inhaling muriatic acid. The atmosphere around her was oppressive, ominous and malevolent; even here the air tasted corrupted, too reminiscent of death.

My last words slipped off the tongue easily, and they were a lie. "I have this covered. Go home."

I didn't want to look, didn't want to see it coming but I forced myself to turn away then. I looked because I was a coward, and facing Metaria was so much easier than watching as I was left behind. Because with a predator at my heels, it was hard to stick to the decision I had made; I didn't want to die, no one ever wanted to die, but I'd wasted enough time with my decision. Now, because I hadn't been able to convince them quickly enough, Makoto needed time to make it back to Matsuo, and I was going to give it to her. If there was anything I could be accused of doing, it was abiding by the consequences of my actions.

One of my few redeeming qualities, in my opinion.

As I faced Metaria I couldn't help but note how different she seemed in a matter of an hour's time; there was no longer anything resembling Beryl within her, not anymore. Presently, Metaria's form was that of a colossal shadow-like figure, the atmosphere around her tinged in darkness. She seemed to fly across the sky, eclipsing everything in her path. I shuddered as she drew nearer, suddenly certain in my very bones that there was no stopping such a heinous force; I was an insect and she a Titaness.

 _Oh god, I don't want to die. I don't want to die, I want to live._ I summoned the moon stick, and even that seemed to take a great deal of energy. I could almost sense Serenity stir then, as though hearing my desperate pleas, and with no better options before I found myself thinking to her. _You wanted this, right Serenity? You wanted this to happen, and now Metaria is here; you put me in this position, now I expect you to get me out of it._

Metaria closed in on me, less than fifty feet.

It was like being tied to the tracks while a train sped your way; there was no avoiding it, no matter how hard I struggled and I could only watch in numb horror.

Or at least, that was what I had thought.

Suddenly the air crackled with electricity as Lightning shot right over my shoulder, heading straight for Metaria. I flinched on reflex, ducking away as the bolt made contact with the Titaness; she halted in her movements as it struck her, and for a moment I thought it had actually done some damage. Only, the bolt of lightning seemed to sink into her form rather than scorching it and disappearing. Understanding washed over me as Makoto's attack sank entirely.

Metaria had absorbed the lightning.

Apparently that wasn't enough to stop Makoto, because she charged right past me like the fearless fool she was, leading everyone save Jadeite and Rei right into battle. Darkness swept over the land around us, turning day into night as our two groups threw everything they had at Metaria and she absorbed their attacks in turn. Kunzite yelled something about her forehead being her weak spot just as Metaria let out an attack that had the Scouts flying backwards. I ducked to avoid the backlash, cringing, and this is where things became a bit murky.

When I opened my eyes again, it was clear to me that significant time had passed.

Littered on the ground at my feet were the Sailor Scouts, beaten and unconscious. Mamoru was crouched at Ami's side in concern, and around us the Generals appeared to have turned their focus on maintaining a barrier of sorts. The ground was cracked and scorched, far more so than I remembered, and the overall scene unnerved me. I had lost time somehow, and now no one seemed to be moving either.

Everything was frozen, and Serenity-

 _She was corporeal, standing right next to me._

 _Her form let off a faint glow, soft moonlight that might have comforted me if the outline of her hadn't been so faint, translucent and ghost-like; it was the only tell that clued me in to the fact that she was not actually here in the flesh, despite how real she seemed. Upon closer look, I realized, to my dismay, there were tears slipping down Serenity's face. The loss of time and my exhaustion had left me disorientated, and her tears only added to the feeling._

 _I fumbled for words, a dozen questions fighting for dominance at the tip of my tongue._

 _How much time had passed for the battle to progress this much? Not hours, because surely we would never last that long against the supernatural force that was Metaria, so how many minutes? How had this situation come to be, why did time seem to not flow as it should? If there was this much damage from the fight then why couldn't I remember any of it, and why was I completely untouched?_

 _How the hell was Serenity here?_

 _As I studied her, those tears stuck a chord; I grasped onto that familiarity, briefly glad to have found at least one answer on my own. Of course, then betrayal washed over me and any gratitude I might have felt died a quick death as the reason for her tears dawned on me._

" _How could you?" I choked, jerking away from her outstretched hand and staggering back. Serenity had betrayed me, she'd used me, taken advantage of me when I fell to my lowest point; and- oh god. I had blindly trusted her, I'd followed her lead without a second thought._

 _How could I have been so naïve?_

" _Please," She reached out, taking my hand in hers and squeezing firmly. I started at the warmth emanating off her skin, the sensation of her unyielding grip. Serenity felt solid, as though she was physically here with me, and that simply wasn't possible, right? "I had to Usagi, I had no choice. You would have left, would have ran away and I couldn't let you do that. We weren't going to get another opportunity like that one. I told you before, the outcome of this war hinders on you, on your actions; you cannot run away from this."_

 _My gaze was baleful. I was angry, furious with both her and myself, because this was partially my fault, wasn't it? A person couldn't lead you into danger unless you allowed them to, they couldn't betray you unless you gave them to power to do so. "I never agreed to fight this war in your place Serenity. I didn't give you my consent."_

" _Yet you used the Silver Crystal as I had taught you to." Serenity remarked softly. Her hand squeezed mine as another tear spilled over and began to slide down her cheek. "You purified Endymion's guardians, and twice now you healed Sailor Mars without provocation. When you came face to face with Queen Beryl, she gave you an opportunity, a way out of sorts just as you had wanted. You did not take it. When you thought Sailor Mars dead, when you witnessed the pain of her comrades, that was the moment everything changed for you, was it not?"_

" _Nothing changed." I snapped. "The only change to be seen was from you and your betrayal."_

 _Maybe she thought I deserved this, for snatching this life from her; maybe I did deserve it, but even if that was the case that didn't mean her betrayal hurt any less. It didn't seem like Serenity's way of doing things though, she didn't strike me as vindictive or grudging, let alone deceitful. But then, she hadn't really needed to say anything to me directly, had she?_

 _Serenity gave a pained smiled, as though she knew exactly what I was thinking. Whether or not that was the case, she didn't comment on it, instead continuing her previous train of thought. "You empathized with them, truly understood them for once; it was the first time you were on even ground, I think. Why did you not accept Beryl's proposition? You did not even consider it, and that is rather odd for someone who prioritizes herself above all else."_

 _I stared at her, struggling to form the right words._

 _Why did this even matter right now? I didn't have an immediate explanation for my actions at that time, there had been no need to clarify them to myself and what's more, I saw no reason why I had to justify myself to anyone. We didn't have time for one of her life lessons, now when we were in the midst of a battle. A battle I couldn't remember and remained untouched by, no less._

 _What was going on?_

 _Sadly, Serenity was in no mood to humor me._

" _You did not take Queen Beryl's offer because it was worthless, it meant nothing to you in comparison to what you valued most then and there. You did not value your life, or your survival as much as you thought, at least not in that moment. Sailor Mars had crossed enemy lines to rescue you, she had gotten hurt during that fall protecting you; Hino Rei was brave enough to come to your aid and she supposedly died for it."_

 _A gleam entered her gaze then, fierce and strong. Somehow, it made her look even less like me. "The Sailor Scouts, your supposed enemies, had risked their lives for you and in return what had they received for their troubles? Capture, the trauma of finding their friend dead on the floor, made to kneel next to her corpse, and the knowledge of their impeding execution. You could have walked away, lived to see another day."_

" _We don't know that."_

" _Don't we?" Her tone made me want to flinch away, and I forced myself to still. "You didn't even consider it because at that moment you valued justice over your life, Usagi; it was more important to you that Queen Beryl die for her actions and that Sailor Venus receive her vengeance, even at the cost of your own life."_

 _A bitter laugh escaped me, and I worked to not bare my teeth at her. "I never would have had to make that choice if you hadn't led me there. Don't try to paint me to fit the image in your mind; before Rei had gotten hurt I'd been two seconds away from leaving her behind because she hadn't wanted to go the way you'd been leading me. If sacrificing the Sailor Scouts and the Generals would stop Metaria for good then I would do it right now, so don't make me out to be a better person than I actually am. You forced my hand Serenity."_

" _This is your war as well, Usagi." She dropped my hand, glancing to Metaria. "You didn't have to verbally agree to fight in my place, because you've been doing so the entire time. I am sorry for hurting you, but it was necessary; this fight concerns both of us, and as the guardian of the moon it is time that you accept it. The Sailor Scouts didn't abandon you to die when you thought they would, and now they can no longer fight. You could use the distraction to flee, leave them to die, if that is what you wish; I think you might even make it back to your dear friend in time. What will Sailor Moon do now?"_

 _My jaw clenched._

 _What good would that be, now? It wasn't a sacrifice that would allow me to win this war; it wouldn't save Matsuo, so in the long run what good would that do me? A risk versus reward with no actual reward. I'd taint my hands, but not for such a shitty outcome._

 _As if there was even a choic-_

 _The world exploded._

 _Materia struck out at the Generals, and their force field collapsed as they were thrown back. I was in a frenzy, dazed and afraid; I was so lost, and I didn't want this, hated that the decision rested on my shoulders. I did not want any of us to die here, and as Metaria locked in on the others, my body made the unconscious choice of me._

 _I turned and ran, releasing a burst of power from the Silver Crystal._

 _It worked, distracting Metaria from her prey as she turned and locked eyes on me. I could have laughed, because in the end what was Sailor Moon compared to a Titan? Who could possibly expect to best something so out of their league? As she advanced on me, slowly in an almost curious way, my words came out in a breathless rush. "I can't defeat her."_

 _Not on my own, there was no way._

" _I'm with you Usagi." Serenity swore. She reached out and grasped the moon stick, gripping it tightly just below my own hold. "Perhaps it is not much, but I will be with you until the very end, just as I promised. We're the same, remember?"_

 _That was right… I wasn't alone._

 _I had Serenity, and even if I died here, I wouldn't do it alone._

 _We were two halves of the same moon._

 _I would never be alone again._

 _Serenity's free hand reached out and found my own, fingers intertwining as our palms met between us. The moon stick glowed, it's shape beginning to alter; it stretched, lengthening in size until it was touching the ground. The crescent moon retained its appearance, but the red of the hilt seemed to fade and darken, becoming the same iron-like shade as my tiara._

 _A tingling sensation started in my palm, sharp and pure._

 _There was something there, something growing but I dared not pull away. Power surged where our palms met, flooding through our bodies and out our other hands to the moon scepter in a crescendo. Moonlight, luminous and brighter than I had ever seen, began to shine from the scepter, warding Metaria off. I never would have been able to accomplish this alone, but with Serenity here the game was changed; our powers came from the same source, and together we were stronger._

 _The Coward and the Princess._

" _I don't know how to forgive you for luring me to Beryl." I told Serenity. It was the kind of wound that would take time to heal, and time was something we did not have. At least, that's what I thought; I wasn't too sure of anything right now. I didn't even know if I was actually having this conversation with her, if she was actually here next to me._

 _Whether any of this was real, I couldn't tell anymore._

 _Time had fractured, the world was broken, or maybe I was; there didn't seem to be much of a difference either way. This day had lasted forever, something had come undone along the way and now dreams and reality were bleeding together and there was no telling them apart._

 _The princess smiled sadly. "That's okay."_

 _She was here now, she was trying to make up for it the same way I wanted to make up for stealing this life from her._

 _We were doing the best we could with what the world had dealt us._

 _Together, Serenity and I stared down Queen Metaria; I could feel the words forming on my tongue, could feel the buildup of power between us as Serenity and I called upon the Silver Crystal; yet another oddity that was both wrong and made perfect sense._

 _Our voices rang out together in perfect unison._

" _In the name of the Moon Kingdom, we banish you."_

* * *

 _Two months later_

Kyoto was breathtaking in winter.

Snow crunched under my waterproof boots as I hiked up the path of stone steps at a slow, leisurely pace. The path I took was sparsely used, and so save for the occasional wanderer, I had it to myself. This, of course, had been the chief factor in my decision to come here today; the shrine was small, and on this day with the snow making the long fight of steps hazardous to climb, there were very few people willing to pay a visit. After all, why make the journey when there were a dozen other shrines, of greater size and better looked after?

Plus, customs were quite different in Japan.

In this culture, today wasn't as grand an event as it would have been Before. People were excited, yes, but they did not see it the same way. That was fair enough, considering Japan wasn't rooted in western ideals the way Europe and America were. Part of me found solace in this, because though it was a teensy bit lonely, it was like thanksgiving in that I had the holiday all to myself. These days were sacred to me now, and I could revel in them without fear of questions or prying eyes, I didn't have to pretend they meant anything less to me than they truly did.

These days were a tribute, a memorial to a life now out of reach.

To a girl that had lived and died.

As my feet brought me up the final few stairs I ran over my itinerary for the rest of this month. I still had a few destinations left on my bucket list to finish before I moved on to the next location, but I didn't think I would get through all of them before the month was over. Higashiyama, a preserved historical district in Kyoto, was one of my favorite haunts, and instead of abiding by my schedule I had kept going back to wander the streets there.

Something about the district was soothing to me, and I had spent a good majority of my time in that area, exploring and speaking with the locals. Higashiyama was a place I thought I could be happy making a home for myself in, one day. In these past two months of traveling, I had found myself slowing falling in love with this country and it was equally amusing and saddening. Japan was so rich with history, and now that I wasn't in school it fascinated me, the things I'd learned. I didn't have to read and give myself a headache to learn anymore, I was doing it through hands on experience.

It made me wonder what Tokyo would have been like without tainted memories.

There were only two other people when I finally arrived on the top step, an older couple, and they passed me on their way out. I paused to watch as the man cautioned his companion on the slippery steps as he began to carefully lead her down them. It stirred warmth in me, and I turned away from the couple, continuing forward. The shrine wasn't decorated with twinkly lights like a good portion of Kyoto was, but that was to be expected.

I went through the motions of paying my respects the way I had seen others do during my travels. Then, I turned my back to the warm glow of the shrine and found myself a comfortable spot at the top of the steps, overlooking the merry streets below. The postcards in my pocket weighed heavily, as if reminding me they needed to be sent out tonight if I wanted to ensure they made it to Harumi before the New Year. They were cheesy ones with a picture of the Tokyo tower; I'd snatched about fifty of them at the train station on my way out of the city.

I always sent them to Harumi.

One for him, one for Hajime-sensei, and sometimes one for Matsuo; it was more difficult to write to him, to find the right words or any at all really. I was never sure what to say, or if he even read them to begin with; for all I knew, he could be throwing each one away, uninterested in hearing from me. The idea hurt, but I wouldn't really blame him, and I'd continue to write just so he knew I was okay, alive and well. If Matsuo didn't want my letters he had no way of telling me, and I was too chicken to call and find out.

I had left without saying goodbye, without saying anything.

There hadn't been anything to say.

My body had given in to exhaustion only moments after Serenity and I had taken on Metaria. When I had come to in the spare room of Matsuo's apartment, one might have thought I'd have been glad; glad to be rid of Beryl's lot, to have made it out alive, to have actually, finally succeeded in bringing the Scouts and the Generals together. Any of those should have been my first thought, or something along those lines at the very least.

I wished that had been the case.

My first thought upon realizing the situation and our victory had been a quiet, numb, _Oh_.

There had been no joy, no relief to be found in me; neither in that moment, nor the countless ones afterwards. Maybe it was my horrific experience behind enemy lines, or those two fights with Jadeite and Nephrite, or all that time spent driven by my fear, scheming and avoiding the Sailor Scouts and coping with who I had become; perhaps it was a combination of all three things that did it. Whatever the case was, upon waking to the knowledge that the war had been won, I found naught but the taste of a hollow victory.

Trauma had robbed me of those feelings.

And so, quietly, I had gotten up and slipped out of the apartment at the dead of night. I stopped twice, once to gather my things, and once to drop off a letter of resignation to the Fabler. Then I had hopped on the next available train, and never looked back. Japan was slowly breathing life back into me, allowing me time to cope with what had happened, the things I'd seen and done. Not even a year ago I had been an average college student about to flunk her finals, and now…

Traveling was therapeutic for me, and I didn't regret leaving.

Matsuo had to be upset with me though.

Or perhaps, and this was what scared me most, perhaps he didn't care at all. Maybe my sudden disappearance had hardly impacted him, and Matsuo had simply moved on as though I'd never existed in the first place. It was probably my deepest fear, and the main reason behind my postcards to him, as selfish as it was; they were a reminder, a little piece of paper to show I still existed and to not forget me.

Not like the Tsukino family had.

Over two months, and they had never filed a missing person's report. I wasn't sure what the school thought, all I knew was that to the best of my knowledge there was no one in the world looking for me. My letters to Harumi and Hajime-sensei were genuine, because I knew they cared and would appreciate hearing from me. My letters to Matsuo were a plea, a test; did I mean anything, or was my presence so miniscule that no one had noticed when I'd left?

It frustrated me, because I knew what I was asking for, knew it was silly and wanted it so desperately. Proof of my existence, because there seemed to be a glitch in the universe ever since the North Pole, and I didn't know how to fix it. I wasn't sure how much truth there was to reality these days. I had nothing left of my past life other than memories, and now I wasn't even positive I could trust those anymore.

It began to snow again.

The hands of the watch at my wrist ticked forward, coming together at the top to read 12 a.m. I glanced up to the cloud covered sky, and then back to the festive town below; there were no fireworks or anything, no change in the world save for me. A warmth emitted from the necklace hanging at my chest, familiar and somewhat soothing. From the corner of my eye a faint glow appeared next to me, and I turned my right.

Serenity sat beside me, her white gown pooling around her ankles; her chin laid in her hands, fingers splayed across her rosy cheeks and the fabric of her dress creased where her elbows rested on her knees. Puffs of air left her lips, as tangible in the cold as my own were.

She looked so real, like I could reach out and touch her.

Part of me was too frightened to act on the thought, too afraid of what I would find, what that would mean. Serenity tilted her head to look at me, her gaze affectionate as it met mine; there was a spark of something else there too, something playful and maybe even mischievous. She grinned at my raised brow, reading my suspicion for what it was though she made no comment on it.

Serenity's grin melted to something softer. "Merry Christmas, Usagi."

"Ah," I sighed, mustering up a smile of my own. Her company was welcome, despite the possible implications of it. She was… prevalent, far more so since the North Pole, and I knew it could only be linked to the appearance of the Silver Crystal. Or at least, I hoped that was what it was; the data was mixed, so at the moment there was no clear answer to be found and I was putting it off. I figured there was no harm in taking a break, a real full blown break from supernatural issues since the problem would still be there when I got back.

Today was the gift of giving, so I shoved such concerns from my mind, focusing back on the nearly solid form of my friend. "Merry Christmas, Serenity."

Hopefully, this year would be a good one.

* * *

A/N

I write the chapter. I finish the chapter. I proof read it. I edit. I proof read it one last time before sending it out, and it hAS A MASSIVE PLOT HOLE, LIKE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX MASSIVE. So I had to go back, rewrite that shit on the same night I'm supposed to post it, and now I'm so full of anxiety because I clearly am going to miss my deadline that the words do not flow as they are supposed to. Rewrite, read, edit, reread, edit again, scrap that scene, read, edit some more, and then finally proof read.

And here we are today, a week late.

I am a failure and a facsimile of a sham but I'd have died of shame if I had posted the plot hole chapter. I would have literally shriveled up, crawled under a rock, and died of shame.

Anyway, chapter's done! Before anything is said I'll address the Thing before I'm drowning in comments about it. Usagi was literally put through hell, her emotions beat with a Lucille Bat, and she was running on pure motivation alone. It only gets us so far in life. Yes, we will get to see the battle and it's aftermath later; I'm a writer and I have things planned a certain way, and they are going to go that way.

Progress is slow going, but at least it's going right? Hope you guys found something in this chapter to be worth the wait (terribly sorry), and if any of you are up to it tell me what your favorite part of the Dark Kingdom arc of this story was! Cat-kicking maybe? Serenity moments? Harumi interactions? Personally, I really enjoyed writing Venus this chapter, it was rather satisfying.

Quick Q & A!

Kel203 asks what Rabbit of the Moon was like before I adopted it and what inspired me.

Well, it was actually rather interesting, and we got to see the reason Usagi come to find herself in said body within a few chapters. I'd been following it for a while and when the author put it up for adoption, I had been devastated. At the time my first fic had been doing rather well, and it gave me the confidence to message the author and ask if she was willing to entrust the story to me. I take my inspiration from anywhere I can find it, mostly from other fanfics. I don't really read Sailor moon fanfics and I keep my watching of the show to a minimum to keep a solid grasp on how I view the characters. Sailor Moon wiki and TV tropes are my research weapons.

Jayuchiha16 has no question but her PM made me smile, so thank you!

Chobits15 I do believe I have answered most of your questions but just in case…

I go off a hellish mix of the manga, 90's anime, and crystal. I don't have a set schedule for updating because then we get an anxiety ridden author that misses her dates and can't throw a decent chapter together to save her own life.

Seth A. Mincberg has a load of questions, but I'm only answering one For Reasons.

Will I be going into further arcs? Yes, a thousand times yes have you any idea of the potential here? I would be a fool to stop now. That said, I will not go into details about the next arcs for spoiler reasons. Some will be big, some will be small, some will be scrapped entirely. You'll just have to wait and see.

 **FAQ!**

Will Rini/Chibi-Usa be appearing in this story?

Christ yes but if you'd all just give me a moment you'd have gotten the pleasant surprise for yourselves. You've made your beds and I now expect each and every one of you to lie in them.

Will you be including the Mikai Tree arc?

Hmmmm….. Is it really so hard to wait and find out?

Will you be including the Outer Senshi?

Like I'd tell you guys. But yes.

What's going on with Naru?

Good question, well thought out. What do _you_ think is going on with her?

Are you going to do a Kunzite/Zoisite pairing?

I've been really torn on this for a while now, but ultimately the answer is no. I am so intrigued by the chaos that would no doubt be Venus and Kunzite as a power couple that I just have to write it. I have to. Kunzite is bi in my mind though.

When will you update next?

Is nothing sacred in this world?

I'm taking a beautiful week off from Rabbit of the Moon, because after the stress this chapter inflicted upon my lizard brain I need to look at a different fic for a while. Only a week though and then its back to writing because I have a rough idea of the next chapter and I'm dying to write a certain scene. Either I'll work on E&R, or one of my other fics I'm in the process of creating.

I have a lovely one in the works, an Azula SI fic in Avatar: The Last Airbender if anyone's interested.

Anyway,

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!

 **Edit:** Regarding any further confusion about what happened to Usagi during that last battle, you're supposed to be confused. We're reading through her perspective and she's confused; poor girl had a head injury which doesn't help, so it would be difficult to understand that maybe every odd thing she experienced is real, just something she doesn't have the proper information to rationalize yet.

Again sorry for having been too vague, I hope this cleared some things up!


	17. Chapter 17

A/N

Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas!

Long ass chapter.

So god damn long.

Why? Because I am a writer with zero self-control and subsequently got too excited while writing this, threw everything in at once, and then couldn't bring myself to split it into two chapters as originally planned to fit more answers in. What should have been a transition chapter became so much more than it has any right to be.

Why am I like this?

Disclaimer: RotM is mine. Sailor Moon, not so much.

* * *

"It's not forever." Serenity reminded me soothingly.

"I know that." My tone was embarrassingly wistful as I watched Kyoto pass by through the train window. Under Serenity's amused gaze a scowl graced my expression, and I might have given her a dirty look had I been able to tear my eyes away from the window. Instead, my focus remained glued to the nighttime scenery of Kyoto, or what little I could see of it given the late hour. The recent snowfall had only served increase the city's enchantment, and now under the light of the moon and stars Kyoto was luminous; a silver city coming to life as its lights reflected off the snow.

Serenity's voice came out softer then and for a second I almost swore I felt her hand ghost over my hair in a comforting motion. "We could get off at the next station and merely return. I know you wanted to spend New Year's there; I should think a few more days wouldn't make all that much of a difference."

"No." I replied firmly, stifling any longing that might have bled into the word. I closed my eyes and took a deep, quiet breath, counting to three; I exhaled, letting go of the desires and whims Kyoto had filled me with. When I opened my eyes and looked at Serenity, my resolve was steady and unwavering. "We don't take risks."

Her brows furrowed, and with apprehension she ventured, "Are you certain that you were not perhaps overcautious in this instance?"

"Yes." It was my own damn fault really; I should have known better, should have anticipated my actions creating that outcome. Of course someone was bound to take notice of me when I continued to frequent the same neighborhood, speaking with the locals and running around at all hours; it was far too odd behavior for a girl supposedly on a family vacation. The police man that had stopped me earlier today hadn't been too suspicious, becoming more curious than anything after I'd rambled on about my excuse, but the fact that I had caught his eye had been more than enough to kick my butt into gear.

I'd stayed too long in Kyoto, and it was time to move on.

My companion sighed, dropping the subject. "Where, pray tell, is our next destination then?"

"The port city of Otaru, in Hokkaido."

I showed her where it was on the map, and she hummed. "That's pretty far."

"Japan's northernmost island, over six hundred miles from Tokyo." I pleasantly informed her. Tokyo was more or less the foundation on which I structured my traveling around; my philosophy ran somewhere along the lines of The Further Away, The Better. I wasn't sure there was even anyone out there looking for me, but the distance was doing wonders for my mental health; the breathing room it afforded was allowing me time to, well, figure my life out. The more distance between myself and Tokyo, the more time away, the better off I was or would one day be.

At least, that's what I told myself.

In reality, cutting Tokyo out of the picture hadn't helped as much as I'd previously thought it might. A small voice mused that perhaps the poison lied not in the city or the people, but in the experiences themselves; _my_ experiences. It would mean I was the thing impeding my… recovery, and I didn't know what to think of that. If I was the poison, the salt in the wounds…

No.

It was a pointless thought, pondering over it would get me nowhere so I buried it deep and turned my attention elsewhere. The city of Otaru was supposedly lovely in wintertime; in fact, this was its busiest time of year as tourists flocked in to try the city's well known diversity of craft beer. There were only so many places worth visiting in winter, Otaru being one of them, and careful planning was allowing me to get the most out of each destination.

"Wow," Serenity mused, breaking me from my train of thought. "You sounded quite proud of yourself just then. I'd wager that you know the exact distance, don't you?"

"Shut up." It was six hundred and seventy-six miles.

Behind us, someone tsked, and as one, Serenity and I peered over our seats to see an older woman eyeing us disdainfully from two rows back; or well, eyeing me anyway. I raised brow at the woman in challenge, and with purse lips she averted her gaze, clearly scandalized by a manner-less heathen such as myself; staring was a _thing_ in Japan, and though I knew prolonged eye contact was considered rude, I didn't really care at the moment. Save for the sleeping man four rows up, she was the only other person occupying this train car.

Serenity scrunched her nose. "What an impudent woman, listening in on others. She thinks you're crazy."

I smothered the beginnings of a laugh.

It wasn't funny, really. Of course the woman thought I was crazy, as far as she could tell I was talking to myself. Other people couldn't see Serenity; I mean, there were times, brief moments where she was around and I'd catch someone doing a double take as they passed us, or squinting in our direction, but they never seemed to actually see her. In fact, it was entirely feasible that she wasn't actually here, and that in reality I did have a few screws loose, enough to carry on a conversation with her.

It wasn't as though I had any proof to show otherwise.

Serenity wasn't always present; she sort of came and went without any indication or pattern, meaning I could never guess when she would appear next. I couldn't summon her from will either, so whether she was a sign of my own spiraling insanity or simply a byproduct of the Silver Crystal around my neck, was beyond me. I found it was just easiest to enjoy her company while it lasted and ignore whatever implications her presence might imply.

These days, I excelled at ignoring my problems. "There are far worse things than crazy. For instance, I could be a serial killer."

Serenity choked on her own laugh. "Yes, fair point. At least you have that going for you."

My lips twitched upward in the beginnings of a smile as my gaze wandered away from her. Talking with Serenity, trading banter, it was so unbelievably easy; but perhaps that simply came with the territory, so to speak. After all we'd been through together, there was no sense of obligation for pretenses or niceties, if there was something on our minds we shared it with one another honestly. Interacting with Serenity was easy, but it also ached sometimes, like putting pressure on a closing wound.

I was healing from the hellish venture behind enemy lines, and in the last few months I had grown close to Serenity, but I hadn't forgotten the wound she'd inflicted. It was still there, slowly scarring over, and like the rest of my _battle scars_ , I was still learning how to live with it, how to be okay and move on with my life in spite of it.

But these things took time.

Serenity was both a blessing and a curse; in the same way everything else in my life seemed to be these days. From the corner of my eye, I caught her staring and turned back to give her my attention. With an expression I didn't quite understand, she moved to say something only I never got to hear it. Serenity faded out of existence once more without any sort of warning, leaving me on my own. My smile faded with her, and I drew into myself as a sigh escaped me.

Fourteen more hours to go.

* * *

I didn't sleep on the train ride to Otaru.

I never could on public transportation, my body would not allow me to.

This was possibly due to the repressed fear beaten into my brain in my youth, from the dozens of stories we all heard growing up about what happened to girls that crossed the country on their own. They were harassed, or their things were stolen, or they were mugged, or they just disappeared at a rest stop and were never heard from again. I took careful measures to combat these situations, but since theft was my biggest concern I was a little extreme in the care of my backpack.

I treated it as though it were my own child or the Holy Grail, never letting it out of sight, only taking my hands off it when necessary.

When I rode a bus or train, I did so with my bag in my lap at all times and I never left it wherever I was staying if I intended on going out; I slept with my backpack, and even brought it into the bathroom with me when I needed to shower, just in case. If I was out in public eating, and I didn't want it in my lap, it went to the floor at my feet and I kept an ankle twisted through the straps.

If someone wanted to steal that bag they would be taking me with them.

It was always within arm's reach because this life had ingrained paranoia in me, and I knew better now than to tempt fate. I had a set amount of cash set out for three days in my wallet, and kept the rest hidden on my person just in case. It wasn't particularly comfortable to walk around with money stuffed in my socks and bra, lining the bottom of my shoes, but it was the price I paid for security. I kept the smaller bills and change on the inside breast pocket of my coat, as I couldn't fit it all safely on my immediate person, and guarded the larger bills closely.

In the event that by some twist of fate I was mugged, or my bag stolen, not all would be lost.

But I digress.

Sleeping in public just felt like asking for something bad to happen, and so no matter how long the journey was, my body wouldn't settle enough to doze until it knew I was relatively safe. I was running on empty when I finally made it to Otaru and found a place to stay in for the next few days. The room I paid for was small, but it was also cheap and to be fair I didn't take up much space. My next movements were those of one doing a menial task, repetitive to the point where no thought was required as I locked the door behind me, propped a chair under the knob, closed the blinds and curtains of the window, and fell onto the bed with my bag beside me.

I stared up at the ceiling, breathing in stale air and listening to the silence.

I was too tired to get up and explore the town, but not tired enough to fall sleep, leaving me with little else to do but stare off into space. It was during times such as these where, at the mercy of my musings, intrusive thoughts began to worm their way into my head. Unwanted and inescapable, they forced upon me a bitter truth for what felt like the hundredth time; I liked traveling, learning new things and gaining once in a lifetime experiences, seeing views that took my breath away, making memories I would never forget. I loved it, loved what my travels had given me, and I didn't regret this adventure in the slightest, because it was probably what I 'd needed.

But, I was lonely.

Serenity was around to accompany me, but only rarely and always either a ghost or a figment of my imagination. We had grown close, and she was one of the few people I truly care for, but… it just wasn't the same. I missed Matsuo; I missed wandering the streets with him and talking for hours on end, bumping each other's hips at work and poking fun at our costumes, practicing aikido and endlessly trying to one up the other.

I missed our homework sessions, decorating the Fabler together, making each other laugh. How swiftly Matsuo could pull me from the darker corners of my mind with a comment or a joke, especially when I was at one of my lows. A person that was so easy going and willing to jump headfirst into my problems without second thought; and to think someone as twisted as I clicked so effortlessly with such a cheerful idiot like him. It baffled even me, and I was the selfish, paranoia driven girl with said cheerful idiot of a best friend.

I missed him.

More than anything, I missed the best friend I hadn't had for weeks prior to my kidnapping. I mourned the loss of a friendship I had allowed to slip through my fingers long before I had left Tokyo behind, of a distance I had done nothing to stop. I ached for something that was no longer in my reach, and learning to live without it was painful, especially in moments like these. I'd said it a million times before, and now I was going to say it again:

Free time and I did not go well together.

There was no more scheming to be done, no more strategizing, or recon, or improvising. For five whole months my life had consisted of nothing but these things, and now that the war was over and won, now that my role had been fulfilled, that part of my life was obsolete. The person I'd become in order to survive in this world, she had been necessary until the Dim Dynasty had fallen. Now… I couldn't change who I was, couldn't just turn it off or put it on mute. I had all this time on my hands and no way to distract myself from the inner workings of my own mind.

Nothing to distract me from the things I'd rather not face.

I'd let Matsuo go without a fight, and now I had to learn how to live without his companionship. I had to learn how to keep my head above water now that he wasn't here to do it for me, and it was a serious challenge. I'd been too dependent on him, too used to having him around to raise me back up from my lows and distract me from my _other_ distractions. Scheming and planning had filled the silence, had kept me moving forward toward my goal, and Matsuo had distracted me from the little voids that popped up in between the scheming and planning and action.

With no Matsuo, and no scheming, I was at a loss.

My goals had been more or less accomplished, meaning the wind had been taken out of my sails. I was still paranoid, yes, but I was no longer fighting tooth and nail for my survival. It was oddly similar to losing a limb; right now these were my lowest points, and I had to learn how to carry on with my life. Beryl and Metaria had been the big bad threats, the hardest to overcome because they'd had an army at their disposal. Now that they were gone, the Sailor Scouts and the Generals should be equipped to take on whatever came Tokyo's way next.

There was nothing left for me to do but put myself back together, which was easier said than done.

I spent the entirety of that day shut in my room, curtains drawn tight and chair tucked firmly against the door. As the sun carved its way across the sky and over the horizon, I listened to every creak, every noise from the rooms around me. The places I stayed in were never high quality; they were the kinds of inns and motels where no one asked any questions so long as you could pay. When night came and I grew used to the sounds around me, my body finally allowed itself to sleep, albeit lightly; any noise that was too loud woke me with a start as I accustomed myself to this new room.

The next morning, because old habits die hard, I was up with the rising sun.

As I wandered the streets of Otaru, my mood skyrocketed with a sense of smug satisfaction. While not breathtaking as Kyoto had been, the port city of Otaru was a beauty in its own right, and unlike anything I had seen in this country to date. It was a strange mix of western and Asian culture; all the signs were in Japanese, and yet the city starkly hinted at European influence, with its canal and the Victorian-style street lamps lining the sidewalks on either side of it.

The buildings themselves were a mixture as well; I ran across a catholic church at one point, to my surprise, and it really highlighted the difference between the two influences I saw here. Western architecture, or what pitifully little I actually knew of it, was… gothic. Gargoyles, columns, steep windows, towering structures, etc. Japan, from what I had seen, had a more… imperial, feel, I suppose. Swooping roofs, tall archways, gold or red embellishments, you get the point. Both had their appeals, but seeing them together like this, under a few layers of freshly fallen snow, was oddly charming, and otherworldly.

A winter wonderland, as the expression goes.

That day, it came to my attention that many of the visiting tourists were from other countries. They spoke Russian, another language I couldn't identify, and to my excitement, English. It had been so long since I'd heard my mother tongue spoken so fluently that I found myself entranced by the very sound. Shamelessly, I listened in on conversations for days, soaking in the words; part of me wanted to approach them, any of them, and let the English flow through my lips but I could never summon the courage to do so.

It felt like a forbidden language, one I had no right to speak.

Like many other things, it was a part of another girl who had lived and died, her time long passed. So I listened, reveled in the mundane conversations, and for a little while I could pretend I was someone else entirely; not Usagi, or the girl before her, but a new person with a fresh start. For once, I found myself visiting tourist traps, every single one this city had to offer for the mere chance of eavesdropping. That was how I spent the days leading up to New Year's Eve; day dreaming of a different life and listening in on others as they went about their normal lives.

Of course, my enjoyment didn't last.

It was just after the clock struck midnight, and the world took its first step into 1993, that the universe decided to shake things up a bit.

And, I felt that it went without saying, not for the better.

* * *

I had spotted her a block away.

Partially because my long standing paranoia dictated I observe those in my immediate vicinity, and partially because people watching now came so naturally to me, that it was difficult not to look. Plus, the pink hair spilling out from under her hat had made it difficult to not notice her in the first place, especially on a less populated street such as this one. She was a little girl, perhaps six or seven years old, and I couldn't help but notice that her parents didn't appear to be in sight. In my mind, I'd sort of shrugged it off as they could have been inside one of the shops, or she could have just wandered away on her own.

It was late, already midnight, but today also happened to be a holiday infamous for keeping people out until dawn. The little girl stood on the corner of the sidewalk where the streets intersected, hands gripping the straps of her backpack; she glanced down all four directions curiously, clearly waiting for someone but not in distress. I dismissed her just as quickly as I had taken notice of her and continued on my way down the street. The city was lively, and though I knew there would be no peace to be found in the place I was staying at I wanted to return to my room anyway.

The port city of Otaru was sadly known for its beer, and I had encountered more drunk, lecherous men than I'd ever thought I'd have occasion to.

Enough to last me a lifetime, at any rate.

The girl had her back to me as I leisurely passed behind her and turned the corner, following the familiar route that took me closer to bed with every step. Again, my gaze swept through the road, taking in the handful of people, assessing, and then one by one dismissing. It was instinct, the way my eyes trained on the man in the shadows, slouched against the alleyway wall; I always walked close to the roads, hugging the street in darker parts on the sidewalk to avoid alcoves like that, but one could never be too careful.

My eyes locked on him, and I assessed.

Cigarette in the mouth, collar turned up against the wind, and cheeks slightly flushed; not from alcohol though, because this man showed no signs of intoxication. He leaned against the wall, yes, but his feet were firmly planted, posture alert, and, most importantly, his gaze was unwavering, focused, meaning he was of clear mind. Oddly enough, though I stared openly, he never appeared to sense it; the man's attention was… poised, on something else behind me. As I passed him, I followed his line of sight out of curiosity, slowing down so as to not trip over my feet as I peered over my shoulder.

I followed his gaze… right to the little girl.

Something in me seemed to sort of freeze then, and I found myself pausing in uncertainty. I glanced back to the man, and then past the girl, but the only thing beyond her was the canal.

Still, surely…

I bent down on one knee next to the street lamp, retying the laces on my shoes. I repeated the process about four more times, waiting for the girl to find whoever it was she was looking for, or for her parents to come pick her up at the very least. She checked the watch at her wrist, and began bouncing lightly on the balls of her feet as though impatient, or excited. No one came. This part of the street wasn't nearly as crowded, but given the holiday there were more than enough civilians flouncing about.

It was a public place, so she'd probably be fine.

I waited another minute, internally arguing with myself; Otaru wasn't like Tokyo, it didn't have a high crime rate, I was being silly as usual and seeing worst possible scenarios where there weren't any. Just as I reluctantly began to turn my back on the little girl, the man skulked out of his hiding spot, moving toward her.

I tensed.

 _Come on kid, where are your parents?_ I pleaded for them to pop up, whisk her away back to their home or wherever they were staying; an uncle, a grandparent, anyone would work.

Still, no one came.

He approached her and began speaking, a kind smile on his face; the little girl went rigid, shaking her head in reply. Ever so slightly, she shrank away from his proffered hand, gaze wide; no doubt she could sense something not right with him, but as a child what defenses did she have at her disposal to ward him off? As she put on a show of childlike bluster, I hurriedly scanned the few people around us to see that none of them paid either one of the two any mind.

Not even a second glance.

The man's smile strained at the corners in reaction to whatever she spouted in her attempt at bravado; the child faltered, having observed this as well.

Up close, I noted he had a silver crown in one of his teeth.

His head cracked against the lamppost when I accidentally stumbled into him, palm out. By mistake, my fingers became tangled in the fabric of his shirt, pulling him forward where his face became acquainted with my left hook as my other hand slipped. As the force knocked him to his knees, my foot connected with his manhood on pure coincidence. With tears streaming down his face and blood dripping from his mouth, the man looked up at me.

Hand to my cheek, I laughed daintily, giving my most charming smile. "Oh dear. Now I'll have to soak my hands in bleach to get all of the filth off them. For future reference, I would recommend never coming within fifteen feet of another child again, Mr.." I bent down and retrieved the man's wallet, grinding the hand that rose to stop me into the ground as I did so. I plucked his ID and discarded the wallet, reading off his name and address. "Yamada-san. I'm sure you've learned a valuable lesson here, but, just in case I think I'll keep this ID of yours. Insurance, you understand."

My foot relented on his hand, and Yamada had the good sense to scuttle away under my gaze. I turned to the little girl and her eyes –startlingly red – were wide as saucers as she stared up at me. Only then did it occur to me that such violence had probably done little to assure the child she was now safe. I crouched down to eye level and softened my features into a more friendly appearance. "Are you okay?"

She just stared.

Crap. I'd really scared her, hadn't I? "Um, are your parents nearby? Do you need help finding them?"

"I.." The little girl blinked, and her hand drifted up to grasp the sleeve of my coat. She was clearly in shock, and in an attempt to comfort her my own hand went out as though to pat her head. Only, it never made contact because as I continued to examine at her, a thrill went up my spine; there was something… wrong with this child, something that made me pause and had my hand pulling back. Her gaze flickered, darting past my right; on instinct I jerked away from her and spun, scrutinizing the area her gaze had fallen to.

Nothing.

When my gaze landed on her once more, it was not nearly so kind; she flinched, and paranoia won over any sympathy I might have felt in that moment. "Go home kid, alright? Your parents are probably looking for you."

I pivoted on my heel and left her, walking in the direction I had originally come from. Her calls for me to wait were ignored as I joined the busier road and melted into the crowd. I threw my hood up and allowed myself to be swallowed by the masses, following the flow of everyone else. I'd take the long way around, or maybe find a different place to stay for the night all together; after all, I had all of my things in the bag on my back, so there wasn't anything that had been left behind. A shiver swept through me, the knowledge that, while I could pinpoint it, there had definitely been something off about that girl.

I wouldn't return to my room tonight; in fact, maybe it would be best to catch the train tomorrow morning, just to be safe. This city had nothing left to offer me anyway, so I wouldn't be missing much by cutting this trip short.

What harm was there in being cautious?

* * *

Sleep was not forthcoming that night.

I was restless, eager to depart from this city, but I forced myself to wait until ten before leaving. Around this time the streets were alive and I could easily pass for yet another face among the crowd. I made only one stop before the train station, at a small shop I had hovered near for the past few days since coming here. Otaru was known for three things; beer, studio glass, and its handcrafted music boxes.

A while back, I had stumbled across a music box that I had liked during my browsing of said shop. It was pretty, made of dark wood with a flower carved into the top, but that wasn't what had caught my attention; it had been the melody inside, sweet and vaguely familiar. The label had only listed the price, not the song itself, and the employee working there hadn't been able to tell me the name of it either. Even so, the melody was soothing, and I'd been debating over buying it ever since.

I didn't need a music box, it was bulky and took up room; a key chain or a postcard would have been a far more practical souvenir. My sudden departure had made the choice for me though, and I was there to give into the whim.

And of course, because I wanted it so badly, it wasn't there when I entered to buy it.

"Someone came in and purchased it yesterday after you left." The attendant explained to me sympathetically. I gritted my teeth and thanked her for her time before leaving the shop behind. I kept my head down during my trek to the train station, keeping a sedate pace; I didn't know why that child spooked me as much as she did, but… every instinct in me screamed caution, and if I trusted in anything it was my natural inclination to self-preservation.

Though I knew it would be in vain, I found part of me wishing for Serenity to appear, going so far as to call out for her. I felt I needed a second opinion on the matter of the little girl, a fresh set of eyes; Serenity wasn't burdened by the same feelings as myself, and having remained untainted by paranoia and cynicism meant she proved an outlook I might otherwise miss. As expected, there was no answer from her because that just wasn't how these things worked.

It would have been too easy.

Serenity had really done a number on me when she had betrayed me by taking my trust and twisting it to meet her own ends. She'd hurt me so much…and yet she was also the person slowly helping me heal. Despite the turmoil that so often accompanied my thoughts around her, I desperately needed Serenity. Right now, I needed her to tell me that I was being silly, overly sensitive; that there was nothing off about that little girl other than the clear neglect on her parents' behalf. It wouldn't stop me from hopping on a train but it'd go a long way to making me feel better.

If only she'd come.

I arrived at the Otaru Train Station to find it was packed with people and, after a horrendously long wait line, I bought a ticket for the next southbound train; the attendant informed me that the wait would be little over an hour, and so I picked a bench outside of the station where it was far less crowded and settled in. It was chilly outside, but I suffered through the cold in exchange for the mobility. I felt… safer, I supposed, out here; it wasn't as crammed, and the open space made me feel less caged in.

Cold air bit into my cheeks, and under the coat hood I tugged the hat I wore down over my ears to better shield them from the winter weather.

It had become a kneejerk reaction, an obsessive habit of mine. I'd learned that when my ears grew too cold… well, it had a rather unpleasant, almost _violent_ effect on me. I'd get overwhelmingly nauseous, shaky, and my throat would sort of close up; sometimes it was splitting headaches as well, or an odd sense of dread that would freeze me in place. After making myself physically sick a few times while trying to overcome the issue, I'd simply decided to let it go and do whatever I had to on order to not let it affect my life and my travels.

If I could maintain some control over it, then it wasn't something to stress over.

I was in the midst of people watching when, from the corner of my eye, someone seated themselves in the empty space at my side. I tilted my head and gave the man a cursory glance out of reflex; however, the moment our eyes met I stilled, suddenly breathless.

I hardly recognized him.

"You look like hell, Usagi-chan." Matsuo said by way of greeting. There were two Styrofoam cups in his hands, steam rising from the lid; he held one out to me, smiling wanly. "Hot chocolate with extra extra whip cream, just the way you like it."

He all but shoved it into my hands, and I took it without thought.

"Wha…" I fumbled for words as a swell of emotions rose within me. I didn't know what to feel; god how I had missed him, and now that he was here I wanted to wrap my arms around him or perhaps run away, because I didn't think I was ready for this. I also might have wanted to cry, because somehow seeing him here in front of me after so long _hurt_. Matsuo seemed to understand what I had been trying to say, and he took pity on me.

"I'm here for you, of course. Always." His tone strained on that last word, and he cleared his throat, glancing away. I didn't really understand, couldn't find a response because his sudden appearance had stunned me into the realms of stupidity and so we sat in silence for a moment. Matsuo sipped his own drink and, after a long moment, added, "You seem tired."

"…So do you." Upon further scrutinizing, Matsuo looked a little worse for wear as well. His hair had grown, untamed waves sweeping far past his ears, now a few inches shy of chin length. He hadn't shaved in a while either, currently sporting a five o'clock shadow that, combined with the weariness lining his expression, made him appear much older than eighteen.

Matsuo ran a gloved hand down his face. "Yeah, well, a lot's happened."

My gaze fell away from him, going upward to the clouded sky as a hum escaped me. "I suppose that's fair. It's… been a while, hasn't it?" I was grasping for words now, for anything to say because it had been so long since I had spoken to someone that knew me this intimately, someone that wasn't a ghost and had no quarries with me.

"Eleven weeks and four days." He remarked. "Happy New Year, by the way. You disappear for over eleven weeks, and I only receive four letters. Four half-baked letters, and not a single one explaining anything. Not a single apology."

I watched him, silenced by guilt, and possibly even shame.

"Do you remember, the promise you made to me before we found ourselves wrapped up in this supernatural craze? Maybe not, but I remember, Usagi. During those first few hours when you were nowhere to be found, I'd been convinced you were still in the city, that you just needed time to yourself. I defended you when the others said you'd run away, had told them with absolute certainty that you wouldn't do that." He laughed, raking a hand through his hair. His next words were laced with pain, barely a whisper. "You do that to me, wouldn't leave without a goodbye."

"You don't understand." I choked out. "I- that _place_ , you don't know what it was like. It took everything I had to get out of there, to keep going, the things I sacrificed; for just one more chance, just to make it back home to-"

To him.

My jaw clenched, and I squeezed my eyes shut, resisting the urge to press the palms of my hands to them. It took a moment to get the next words out, and I forced them because I wanted him to understand; even if it had been months, and we weren't what we had once been, I wanted him to understand because Matsuo would always mean the world to me, no matter what. "When it was over I couldn't even be happy. I have survived this world only by way of the selfish choices I've made, the merciless things I've done. Survival comes at a _price_ , always, and I just- I needed to get away, to breathe."

I needed to cope.

Countless people continued to wither away in hospitals around Tokyo because I hadn't tried to save any of them; they stayed there because I still valued my safety over the risk it would be to heal them and draw attention to Sailor Moon, the Sailor Scout no one knew of. Naru's mother was one of those people, and god, _Naru._ I had allowed her to be a decoy because it suited my interests, provided me more time to set my plans into motion. How had that ended for her?

What damaged had she received, thinking the Sailor Scouts were her friends only to find out that they'd had ulterior motives this whole time, that I'd had ulterior motives? And I wasn't there to explain anything to her, I'd just up and left after returning from a kidnapping that had turned her world upside down. If she knew I'd had the power to heal her mother this whole time and had neglected to do so… Naru had undoubtedly suffered greatly by my hand. Not to mention the Sailor Scouts, and Mamoru; Minako had learned I'd been lying about Naru, so surely they all knew by now.

We'd been on shaky terms at best before this; I had lied on numerous occasions and had been keeping information from them since the very beginning.

I couldn't imagine what they would all be feeling now.

This world had twisted me into something I didn't recognize; I had done horrible things, and whether or not I regretted the pain I had caused, it didn't matter because in all honesty, I would do it all again. I'd do everything again if it meant living, and the problem was that this relentless part of me was no longer _necessary_ , no longer needed in order to survive, and _I couldn't stop being her_.

I was still trying to cope, and I didn't know how to make Matsuo understand that.

Who was Usagi, now that she had no cause, nothing to strive towards? Who was I, now that my enemy no longer existed? I didn't know what to do with myself, how to be normal or content with an average life. To walk into hell and return to mundane everyday life, it just wasn't possible. I didn't want to fight monsters day in and day out, didn't want to live in constant paranoia and fear; it wasn't the life I wanted, but after having lived it for so long I knew nothing else.

"I never meant to hurt you." The words _I'm sorry_ wouldn't come though, and I didn't force them; it was an apology that would have fallen short, an insult he did not deserve. To be a part in having caused him any sort of pain was something I had never wanted, and yet I'd done it. All he had asked of me had been to not disappear without telling him first; it was such a simple request, and yet I hadn't given him a single thought when I'd left, hadn't stopped to consider his feelings. Leaving had been a decision based solely on myself and what I thought I had needed most then and there.

Matsuo was silent, and after a pause I forced myself to look his way. He was gazing at me, probably had been the entire time; our eyes met, and his lips parted. Matsuo leaned towards me and, in a rush, said, "Come home Usagi. Please. Come home with me."

Subconsciously, I had known it was coming, and yet somehow the words still managed to surprise me. I replied thoughtlessly, "Why?"

Then it was his turn to appear stunned.

It was a genuine question on my end though; why should I go back, what was even left for me there? Past the Spooky Kingdom, my memory was hazy on the events to come, but even so I knew that there _would_ be something next. There would always be a big bad coming for Tokyo, or the Silver Crystal, or the Sailor Scouts. Now that the Silver Crystal was no longer within me but in a physical form, it was more vulnerable than ever, and if nothing else, I still had an obligation to keep it safe from the power hungry.

Tokyo was the opposite of safe.

Matsuo struggled, for an answer or perhaps the right words. In the end, it made little difference though; I had no reason to go back, nothing worth the risk and probable pain that would no doubt find me there. Besides, what would I even do? Go back to living in the Tsukino residence, with the family of the girl whose life I had stolen? Go back to middle school, and… then what? What was the point in High school, or college, when I didn't see much of a future for myself career-wise? Homework in a desk and then paperwork in a cubical, answering phones, working five days a week; that was what normal people did, that was the way their life went.

I didn't think I could be that person anymore.

"I'm not going back."

"Why?"

"Because," a sad half smile graced my lips. "I can't play pretend anymore. I can't go back to that house, or to school; ordinary life is something I'll never be able to return to. Maybe I look like shit right now, but I'm not forcing myself to do anything, to be anything. Everything I do now is exactly what I want to; not because I have to, or because my continued existence is on the line. So unless you have some magical ace up your sleeve that could change my mind, the answer is no."

I swallowed the offer on the tip of my tongue, for him to come with me.

I already knew his answer.

"I-" He cut himself off, expression twisting in a way that somehow hurt. Matsuo stared at me, contemplating; then, without warning, he stood and smiled. There was no cheerfulness in it though, and that also hurt to see. "I guess that's it then, huh?"

Why… why was Matsuo giving in so easy?

He was going to leave without even putting up a fight after coming all this way to see me; it wasn't right, that wasn't like him. Matsuo was always up for a fight, whether it came in the form of a spirited debate, a slow, long term refute, or even a physical altercation. Giving in went against his nature, it went against Hajime-sensei's lessons; this wasn't him taking a step back and letting go, no, he was _giving up_.

 _He's leaving,_ A voice in my head supplied. Panic grasped me then, and I found myself lurching to my feet and catching his sleeve before he could fully turn away from me.

"Five." I blurted out. Oddly enough, even I found myself confounded by the sudden word and it was me that had all of the context here. Matsuo furrowed his brows, and I stuffed down my sense of sheer stupidity, elaborating, "I sent another letter a few days ago, but I guess you haven't gotten it yet... It's probably waiting for you at the Fabler."

I shrugged under the stare Matsuo aimed at me.

His expression softened. I, being the sad excuse that I was, soaked in the look; I was in the process of committing this new Matsuo to memory when something behind me caught his attention, and his eyes widened minutely. I caught the miniscule shake of his head and before I could think better of it I peered over my shoulder. There, just a dozen feet away, was a determined looking Mamoru, and for a millisecond I noted the tiny differences in him; no glasses today, nothing to hide the fresh sadness in his gaze or how tired he similarly appeared.

At his side was the little girl from last night, the one that had set off my alarms, and as my mind registered the details, all air left my lungs. There was no hat on her this time, and the pink, odango styled hair was displayed proudly as she clung to Mamoru, staring up at me.

It wasn't possible.

There was simply no way, and yet there she stood before me.

Serenity's daughter.

* * *

The train ride back to Tokyo was ten hours.

It was spent in near total silence. I sat as far from the child as I could, all but shoved against the window, cheek supported by a fist and gaze locked on the passing scenery. To my left, Matsuo mirrored my slouched position, strangely content as opposed to the other two; across from us, Mamoru and the girl were strung tight. The air was strained, sharp with the taste of anticipation and, perhaps even unease.

I had an inkling of why, but I didn't particularly care.

After taking one look at the daughter that shouldn't exist, I had agreed to return without further discussion. My expression must have been something to behold, because one look at it and whatever question Mamoru had been in the midst of asking suddenly died on his tongue. It was good that none of them bothered me with questions, as I wasn't up to answering or making any conversation. I had one goal here, and it was to find out how exactly the child of Neo Queen Serenity and King Endymion could possibly exist after my interference in this world, because by all rights she had no place in this timeline.

The possible threat needed to be assessed.

Setting the child's genetics aside, if she truly was from the future then there was no telling what she knew of me, or what she might have let slip to the Sailor Scouts. At this point, I very much doubted they would accept me as their Moon Princess after all I'd done; still, I would prefer to know just what exactly everyone else had learned. I didn't like not knowing, and moreover, I couldn't sit still with the knowledge of this grandiose mystery hovering at the back of my mind. Remaining in the dark wasn't an option; I knew better than anyone the power of information to make or break you.

There was a part of me that wanted this girl gone; it was a terrible thing that had clawed its way back to the surface of my mind after having been buried for so long, and it craved to eliminate the threat before it could do me any harm. There was one thing that frightened me, the driving force behind my easy acceptance to return. Above all else I had to know whether my secret was safe, or if this child knew the truth of me. The fear that she might cut deep; there was no telling what lengths I would go to in order to assure my secret was never found out.

For reasons I couldn't explain, the mere thought of being outed was unbearable.

During the ten hour ride, I only moved from my position once, soon after our train entered Tokyo and neared the Minato ward. I straightened and sat upright, eyes narrowing as a familiar feeling presented itself to me; an aura of hostility, so faint that anyone less cynical, anyone less prone to paranoia, would have missed it entirely. My gaze traveled to Mamoru, and I couldn't help the dangerous tilt of my tone- I _felt_ dangerous- as I slowly inquired, "What, is _that_."

His eyes, intense as always, stared back at me with a knowing glint, but after a few seconds he averted his gaze. I refrained from frowning; there was something rather… avoidant about his action just then. My mind thought back to the silent trip, the way he dropped his question upon meeting my gaze; it struck me as odd, but before I could think further on it, Mamoru was answering. "It's a long story. We should meet up with the others before getting into it though; it'll be easier that way."

I turned back to the window. "As you wish."

Eventually the train pulled up to the station, and we filed off with Mamoru leading the way. Matsuo walked close at my side, and before I knew it we were moving in sync as though months hadn't passed and we hadn't been changed by the time away. I snuck a glance his way when I thought he wasn't looking, mind caught on our earlier conversation. This was a big deal, a time traveling child from the distant future was exactly the kind of thing Matsuo could have used to get me to return with him. Yet, when the opportunity presented itself, he hadn't risen to the occasion and I couldn't understand why that was.

It was an advantage I wouldn't have let go to waste.

Perhaps he didn't know; I scrapped the idea immediately, because of course he had known. Matsuo had known… and he had just given up on bringing me back after a few minutes of conversation. Mamoru seemed a bit off as well, and I couldn't decide if these oddities could be chalked up to the time gap, or if there was something else to it. In less than a year I had become a completely different person, so I understood how drastic a person could be changed if given time and incentive.

Something about this just didn't sit right with me.

Matsuo caught me peeking about two seconds into the action, and his lips curled in the beginnings of a smile as he drank me in. Suddenly, that glimmer of warmth that'd been missing all day was back, making the brown eyes staring back at me twinkle blithely. I was probably an absolute fool, but somehow, I just didn't believe that Matsuo would lead me into danger; if something was wrong, it probably had more to do with the child and less with me. I huffed and looked away to break our stare, musings trailing off.

There was no understanding the unfathomably effervescent.

Outside of the station Mamoru hailed us a cab, and we squeezed in as he rambled off an address. The cabbie dropped us off in the familiar warehouse district, and we walked about three more blocks before stopping at a building. I recalled then what Matsuo had mentioned months back, and with great reluctance I followed the trio into Sailor Scout headquarters, pausing only once to take in the dilapidated building before entering.

The moment I crossed through the doorway, I felt the weight of stares.

Sheer willpower was all that allowed me to maintain my undaunted façade. Outwardly, my muscles were relaxed, posture poised and expression neutral; inwardly, I was buzzing with awareness, adrenaline pumping through my veins and heartbeat doubling because coming in here was akin to swimming in shark infested waters. The Sailor Scouts would be angry with me, Minako was undoubtedly furious with me for skipping town and taking my knowledge of the Moon Princess with me. The brooch weighed heavily against my top, a stark reminder that I would be ready if it came to blows.

Ignoring the burning gazes, I took a moment to get a good first look at the warehouse.

Loathe as I was to admit it, I found myself rather impressed.

Upon entering, the first thing that stood out was the large, wooden table that sat towards the center of the room. It looked thick and heavy, the type of furniture that belonged in the 1800's, at the Buckingham Palace or the White House with a sign clearly stating _do not touch_. The twelve chairs surrounding it were cut from the same wood, with maroon cushioning that matched the enormous rug spread out beneath it. Past the war table, someone had turned about fifteen feet of wall into the world's biggest corkboard; there were papers and pictures and the like pinned to it, but from across the room I couldn't make out much more.

To the right of the corkboard there was about five feet of ordinary, white wall and after that a large, rolling chalk board took up another ten feet. There wasn't room from much else on that side of the open space because to the right of _that,_ two closed off rooms spanned the remaining length of the opposite wall. Someone had shoved a couple of desks together in the lower right corner, below the closed off rooms, though they looked hardly used and half forgotten.

The upper left corner of the warehouse had been sectioned off with cubicle walls, and I spotted a fridge peaking over the top. To the left of that a set of industrial stairs led upwards, and then another sectioned off area made up the corner to my immediate left. I considered the light beige color of the cement floor –free of scuff marks, peeling, or scratches- and then the clean, bright walls; both were freshly painted. The furniture all looked new, the air was fresh with the scent of the various potted plants scattered about the place, and there didn't seem to be a speck of dust in sight.

Someone had gone to great, _expensive_ lengths for this place.

I put a pin in that thought as Minako stepped forward from the table, clearing her throat. "I'm glad you decided to join us, Usagi. You have questions, I'm sure, so let's get to it, shall we?"

It was surprisingly cordial of her.

As the others gathered at the table and took their seats, I spotted a familiar head of red hair and somehow managed not to falter. Naru selected a seat next to Ami, at the far end of the table; she kept her gaze to the right of me, not quite focusing on my form. I found my way to the opposite end of the table from Minako, more out of habit than anything. Matsuo seated himself to my left, and Mamoru brought the abomination with him to the chair at my right. The generals filled up my end of the table, and once everyone was seated, my gaze found Minako expectantly.

"Welcome," She murmured, "To the Order of Elysion."

* * *

A weighed pause filled the air, a clear moment where a response of some kind was expected, as though those words were supposed to have some bearing on me. I hadn't the faintest clue what she was talking about, or why she was acting so polite.

I hummed noncommittedly.

After an awkward second, Minako continued. "We appreciate you coming here today. On behalf of the Order, I'd-"

"I didn't tell her about the Order yet." Matsuo interrupted.

Her brows furrowed. "Alright then. Well, I'm sure this leap of faith was difficul-"

"Didn't mention that either." Matsuo paused, and then added, "Actually, I didn't tell Usagi-chan anything. She agreed to return without having to resort to any of that."

Mamoru shot him a displeased look. "What he means to say is that he was going to allow her to leave without trying to persuade her. I was forced to step in."

Minako gave Matsuo a withering glare then, to which he remained unfazed by as she asked, "How much _does_ she know then?"

Apparently, not nearly enough if I was having this much trouble keeping up with the conversation. The Order of Elysion, what in god's name was that supposed to be? I racked my brain, trying to recall whether it was something that had slipped past me but the name wasn't familiar.

Mamoru faltered, intense gaze falling onto me as he quietly answered, "Nothing. Usagi… Well, she looked at little Usagi and said she'd return with us."

Silence descended upon the room.

Everyone appeared taken aback by this piece of news, and Artemis padded forward, eyeing me warily. "Would you care to explain yourself, Usagi-san?"

If I could predict where this madness was going, navigating it would be so much easier. As it was, I was in no way prepared for whatever was going on; when in doubt, I fell back on the only skill I could trust- the ability to lie through my teeth. My expression was frosty as the retort slipped effortlessly past my lips. "I know a fellow descendant of the Moon Kingdom when I see one, cat. What I want to know is how she could possibly exist and where she's been all this time because, if you recall, the Silver Millennium fell long ago when those of the Moon Kingdom lost their lives. No one else should have made it out alive."

I narrowed my eyes on the child. "How certain are you that this isn't a trap of some kind?"

Minako seemed to hear my unspoken words. _Why is she not a threat?_

"She appeared on the night you left." Minako explained. "She was the one that alerted us to your disappearance to begin with, and since then Usa-chan has more than proved her worth. Finding you, specifically on New Year's Eve in the exact place she said you would be; it has sealed the truth of her words. It's hard to understand when you don't have all of the information, but we do. After everything Usa-chan's told us, I truly do believe she's genuine in her intentions."

As if that should somehow come as a relief.

If anything, I was more unsettled now than before; why was she trying so hard to reassure me, to convince me when none of them owed me any such thing?

"Is that so?" I turned to the Sailor Scout, smile sharp. "Then tell me, Minako; what merit do your words regarding the girl truly have, given the current state of things?"

Her brow crinkled in confusion. "I'm afraid I don't understand-"

"Did you think I wouldn't notice?" My tone was far from kind. I leaned back into my seat, head high, and raised a brow. "The city _reeks_ , and as Mamoru can attest it was brought to my attention the moment our train entered Tokyo. Apparently the Sailor Scouts are getting lax in their duties; you've been letting things slip, Minako."

There was no mistaking my words for anything other than what they were- a purposeful, direct insult to the very source of her pride. It was obvious that I had missed a few things in my time away; I genuinely wanted to know what that foreboding presence was, how much the scouts knew, what the hell the Order of Elysion was supposed to be, and where Rini had spawned from. I wanted answers to all these things, but they would have to wait because by now my instincts were screaming, and they needed to be sated.

Something was very wrong here.

Minako should have been angrier with me or at least annoyed; the scouts should have been more upset with me, and yet not a single dirty or displeased look had been sent my way. Not one. Minako was being too kind with me, Mamoru was being evasive, and Matsuo had sat on a train for ten hours just to give up the first time I declined his plea. Naru appeared to be the only person truly put off by me, and she couldn't even look me in the eye. No one was treating me poorly, and I wasn't receiving any sort of lecture.

This entire scenario was off.

So I waited, watching for Minako's reaction to the test I'd set out.

She didn't take the bait.

Minako stood calmly, sighing and my stomach dropped. "The child before you is the Crown Princess of Earth in the 30th century, Heiress to the throne of the Silver Millennium, and according to her, Sailor Moon is the only one that can save her mother."

Hearing the words spoken out loud… the confirmation weighed down on me.

I turned my gaze to the girl in Mamoru's lap almost unconsciously, mind racing; she reacted immediately, as though she'd been waiting for this moment. Rini straightened her shoulders and held her chin high, an imperious expression adorning her features as she looked me in the eye and proclaimed, "I am Princess Usagi Small Lady Serenity; Sailor Moon, in the name of the Moon Kingdom and the queen you swore fealty to, I command you to return with me to the 30th century and defeat my enemies."

The room fell into what could only be labeled as horrified silence.

I could hardly believe it.

This child was delusional; she had a death wish, or was beyond the realms of common sense. There was no other explanation for the way she had spoken, even the others appeared to understand the sheer stupidity it was to throw such words at me, and in that tone no less. I remained calm, though my tone was all ice, and my smile became venomous as I replied, "No."

She faltered, outrage lacing her voice. "You can't say no!"

"I do believe I just did." My nails tapped against the arm of the chair as I looked away disinterestedly. "Whatever fealty you speak of, I am not bound to and nor will I ever be. Never would I swear my allegiance to anyone or any cause other than myself; whatever you've been told about Sailor Moon is clearly false if you think you can order me around in that manner."

I was half tempted to wash her mouth out with soap after I got to the bottom of this mess.

"Usagi-chan." Matsuo's voice was quiet, and I turned my attention to him. His expression was… solemn, uncharacteristically serious, and it stilled something in me; I held his stare and waited, allowing him to speak what was on his mind. The words seemed to trouble him as they left his lips, as though he'd rather not say them. "Listen to what she has to say."

I sighed, rubbing at a temple. "Fine. Let's hear it then."

 _Information is power_ , I reminded myself.

"In the 30th century," Rini murmured, "Sailor Moon is known as more than the Guardian of the Moon. The Destroyer, they called her; it was in the early years of The Order of Elysion that she gained the title, because Sailor Moon never lost a single battle, and her enemies were dealt with mercilessly. She helped bring about the second Silver Millennium, and the Crystal Empire. Sailor Moon was the Queen's most trusted advisor, and the source of my namesake."

…What?

"I… I'm hardly the strongest Sailor Scout." All of the Sailor Scouts were formidable, and Makoto had displayed a brute strength that was far more deserving of a title like The Destroyer. Minako with the Holy Sword had been terrifying, and far more along the lines of who Rini had been describing. This child had to be beyond delusional, or extremely gullible, because whoever she spoke of, it wasn't me.

"I didn't say strongest." Rini retorted. "Mother and Father never used the word strongest, it was always _vicious._ "

My lips glued shut, and I fell back into my chair.

What she was saying… it didn't make sense.

None of that sounded like anything I would ever willingly be part of; Usagi the Coward, perhaps, but not the destroyer, not in a million years. There were too many holes in her story; I didn't have enough information to make a clear picture yet, just a garbled mess of possible facts. I gritted my teeth and waded through the chaos, trying to gather my thoughts into something coherent. A few of her words stuck out to me, but I focused on the _how,_ because that was the most important fact to begin with.

 _How was this possible_. "In order for you to exist, for this supposed future to exist, the Moon Princess would have to be present. However, I know for a fact that she's no longer… you can't exist because she is beyond our reach."

That's right.

Serenity was in the Silver Crystal, she couldn't be this future queen, and I sure as hell wasn't her either. Ruling the world was so horrendously beyond my capabilities that it wasn't even to be considered. Besides, in what twisted world would I name my child Usagi Small Lady Serenity? The brat wasn't mine, and she wasn't Serenity's, so either she was lying or being lied to.

Or she came from some kind of parallel universe.

Christ, I didn't even want to consider the possibility. The mere theory of an astral realm was exactly the kind of existential subject I had no intention of revisiting ever again. I steeled myself and pushed back from the table, standing. This was too much; I needed to regroup and sort myself out. Rini jumped up, eyes wide with panic, and said, "Wait! You can't go, I'm not finished!"

"I don't care. It's late and I've had enough for today."

"You save her!" Rini all but shrieked then, hopping onto the table. I paused, half-turned toward the door. The words tumbled out of her mouth in a hurry, desperate and almost pleading. "Please, my mother told me, you're going to save her! Not just now, but so many more times in the future. You wronged her once and she did the same as well, but you're going to make up for it, because you're going to save her! You _must_ come back with me, Sailor Moon; if anyone can fix my home it's you."

 _You wronged her once and she did the same as well_.

It was as though the earth had suddenly stilled; somehow, I managed to choke out the proper order of words. "How… how do you know about that?"

She couldn't.

I had never told a soul, it wasn't something I could ever even begin to explain to another human being, so there was no way. No way, unless…

Unless Serenity had told her.

I spun and took her hands in mine, grip firm and gaze unyielding. "Do not lie to me. Are you saying that there's a way to bring her back?"

"Yes." Rini squeezed my hands. " _Yes_."

 _And the queen you swore fealty to. Her most trusted advisor. My mother told me. Not just now, but so many times in the future. You're going to make up for it._

Hope, so faint and fragile, bloomed in me as I considered the possibility. There might be a way to make up for what I had taken from her, if this child was to be believed, and I _had_ to believe. It meant one less burden to carry, and a chance to help someone I cared for, to give her something we both thought she'd never again have.

Serenity could come back.

She could be saved.

* * *

A/N

A filler chapter, but also not a filler chapter?

I don't know why, but for some ungodly reason I just can't write the name Chibiusa.

Chibi-Usa? Chibiusa? ChibiUsa? Don't know, can't do it because it just doesn't flow like Rini does. I seriously also like Usa-chan but it's a bit too OHSHC for me. Rini literally means little rabbit in Japanese so I don't know why anyone ever thought Chibi-whatever was a good idea. That poor child truly does have the most unfortunate name…

Anyway,

Thoughts? Questions? Happy Holidays?

Please Review!


	18. Chapter 18

A/N

Thank you guys for the reviews, I really laughed while reading them!

It's always so refreshing to see your reactions and thoughts on this fic. A good half of you mentioned words like 180, or plot twist and I'm reminded that for you guys it really does seem out of left field. In reality, I've been planning this for quite a while now, even if things don't always go according to plan, so most of what I'm writing while exciting isn't much of a surprise to me. I know where it's going, how it'll end, so there's no intrigue for me, and it's really nice to know that other people see this fic differently!

* * *

 _The Destroyer, they called her._

I didn't want to think about Rini's words, or Minako's explanation, or about anything that had to do with the past day at all. Tomorrow, we would pick up where we'd left off; that meant this would possibly be my last night of ignorant bliss before I had to face whatever hellish news awaited me.

I wanted to enjoy these last moments, but sleep would not come to me and the spare bedroom of Matsuo's apartment had little to offer as a distraction. I could feel it hovering at the back of my mind, waiting just under the surface; all the pieces were there, waiting to be put together to form a picture that already had dread curling within me. Desperately, I skimmed topic after topic, looking for something, _anything_ to occupy my thoughts with for even just a short period of time. Regrettably, the only things that came to mind were equally as unpleasant to ponder over.

A single day into the new year and I was already neck deep in problems.

On the bedside table to my left a small alarm clock was stationed, the time on its face reading 11:47 in the evening. I counted my breaths, the number of slates in the closet doors; when the clock hit 11:57, I counted off each tick as the handle turned and turned, marking each second as it passed. Only when midnight came did I roll onto my back and lift myself into an upright position, surrendering to the mayhem of my mind. I tore one of the pillows from behind me and hugged it tightly as the thoughts washed through me.

 _Sailor Moon was the Queen's most trusted advisor… Her enemies were dealt with mercilessly… Early years of the Order of Elysion… Helped bring about the second Silver Millennium…_ _Mother and Father never used the word strongest…_

A ten hour train ride to Otaru, an ace up his sleeve, and Matsuo had relented with hardly more than a single protest on my part. Mamoru could barely look me in the eyes or hold a conversation with me; I'd kept his past, the truth of Naru, and the whereabouts of the Silver Crystal from him, and Mamoru didn't even appear cross with me anymore. None of the Sailor Scouts had acted upset when they had every right to be; in fact, Minako's behavior, her lack of reaction, had been down right _strange_. Everyone had been far too… courteous, gentle, when I hadn't given them much of a reason to be.

 _Sailor Moon was the Queen's most trusted advisor._

When her kingdom had stumbled into some trouble, Rini had just, what, skipped back a few centuries to find me? Minako had said she'd been the one to alert them to my disappearance mere hours after I had left; Rini had come to that day _specifically_ with the knowledge that I would be nowhere to be found for quite the span of time thereafter. That… would require some forethought, the kind I certainly wouldn't expect a seven year old child to have. However, my skepticism dwindled as I recalled our first meeting, how she'd been perched at that intersection, clearly waiting for someone to appear.

Someone that obviously wasn't a parent.

If Sailor Moon was truly so legendary, then it wasn't that much of a stretch to assume Rini had grown up on stories of her; at her young age, she probably still heard such tales, especially if _The Destroyer_ was her namesake. I mean, most little girls enjoyed tales of Princesses and Knights on white horses, but I supposed when you were already an actual Princess such stories no longer held the same appeal. So, if Rini was to be believed, when some unknown horror had befallen her home, family, and kingdom, her first course of action had been to… leap back in time and find her childhood Heroine?

Given, it certainly sounded like the logic of a seven year old, but still.

It felt excessive, extreme; what exactly had happened to the future to warrant it? Distantly, I thought I remembered something about this. A black, inverted crescent moon; Rini, all grown up and… evil? Damn it, I couldn't remember fully anymore, all my knowledge just kept drifting back to Beryl, her army, because it'd been the sole focus of my attention for so long. Why had the future been attacked so harshly in the first place if Sailor Moon was such a badass?

Never lost a single battle, huh?

 _Sailor Moon was the Queen's most trusted advisor_

Yes, clearly so well versed in the ways of ruling over an entire planet that my advice would be of any use, far more so than that of a literal Princess. Setting aside the fact that Serenity had been bred to sit on a throne and rule, who in their right mind would ever consider me for such a high ranking position anyway? Who would hand me that sort of power? What absolute fool…

My heart skipped a beat as the words played over in my head. _Sailor Moon was the Queen's most trusted advisor_

Sailor Moon was the Queen's most trusted advisor.

Sailor Moon _was_ the Queen's most trusted-

Oh, no.

Rini's voice continued to echo inwardly as I sprung out of bed, nearly tripping on the blanket, and tumbled heavily onto the floor in ways that would no doubt leave bruises. _Mother and father never_ used _the word strongest, it was always vicious. The Destroyer, they_ called _her. You must come back with me, Sailor Moon; if anyone can fix my home, it's you._

Because I wasn't there anymore.

Despite my supposed reputation and badassery, I couldn't have stopped whatever catastrophe or enemy from attacking because _I hadn't been around to do so._ No one was angry with me, no one was trying to pick a fight with me, Mamoru was avoiding me, and Matsuo-

Was right outside the door as I ripped it open and the handle slammed against the wall. The sound cut through the quiet, making us both start. He stared at me with wide eyes as I took in deep breaths; I cut him off as he moved to speak, not even bothering to question why he was in front of my door at this hour, because what did that matter? At that moment in time, I only cared for an answer to a question I had never wanted to ask. "I'm dead, aren't I?"

Matsuo reeled back, as though I'd struck him.

His lips moved, but no words left him and along with the twist of his expression, it was answer enough. Everything seemed to slow down then; my heartbeat, time, the earth itself.

I was going to die.

I… I was really going to die.

"Hey," Matsuo wrapped me into an embrace, but my arms remained at my sides. The material from his shirt brushed against my cheek as his hands smoothed over my back in comforting movements. All emotion fled me, and I stood frozen to the spot, mind gone blank. Matsuo's voice cracked as he murmured nonsense into the air. " It's okay, it's okay, it- it'll be okay. We'll be okay…. It's going to be fine… Not set in stone… I won't- It's going to be okay…"

 _I'm going to die._ The thought was idle, vague. I was more aware of my friend just then, the way he appeared to be unraveling before me. _This just won't do._

I stepped back to put some distance between us and reached up, tugging lightly on a loose lock of his hair to get him to stop and pay attention. "How's a girl supposed to get any peace around here with such a filthy presence permeating the air? Let's go do something about it; you can give me the details along the way."

He blinked rapidly as I linked arms with him and pulled the two of us out of the apartment. Matsuo gave me a look, big brown eyes filled to the brim with warmth and pain and sorrow and gratitude. I released a fond sigh and patted his arm, grinning when he rolled his eyes and corrected my direction by turning us the other way.

Inside, I was curiously empty.

* * *

The taste of belligerence was heady and sharp against my tongue as I tried to breathe through my mouth rather than my nose; it was a vain effort, as the scent was just as pungent either way. Together, Matsuo and I stared up at the building, or what little we could actually make out of it through the roots and branches and leaves; if you squinted and looked closely, the words _Juuban Odyssey Apartments_ were almost legible. It appeared that Rei had, at some point, tacked up some talismans to keep in or perhaps ward off something. Whichever one it was, I didn't know, and I made a mental note to ask Matsuo about them later.

I shook my head, tone dripping with disbelief. "Aliens. Actual, real life aliens in the Minato prefecture."

Matsuo shrugged. "Small universe."

It was an answer that merited an unenthusiastic hum on my end.

From Matsuo's other side, the alien, Ail, shifted impatiently; I ignored his movement, knowing that if I looked I'd have trouble not staring. The male had _green skin_ for god's sake; minty green skin, pale blue hair, and the prettiest eyelashes I'd ever seen in my life. It was a challenge to refrain from staring, so I opted to avoid the extraterrestrial and his Easter egg coloring, not only because staring was rude, but also because just looking at him made me highly uncomfortable.

Highly uncomfortable and perhaps a bit unsettled by the knowledge of _why_ he bothered me on a visceral level. Ail was eye catching, but there was a fluidity to his movements that worked against whatever natural allure he possessed, so otherworldly that part of me instinctively desired to push him as far away as possible. The subject of my thoughts spoke then, and to my dismay I found myself fascinated with the lilt of his voice as he murmured, "Are you quite certain she is the one your organization spoke of?"

"Yes." There was amusement in Matsuo's tone.

Though I didn't tear my gaze from the tree infested building, I could sense their eyes on me; well, more specifically, on the knitted hat I wore. It very clearly did not go with the Sailor Scout uniform, though I hardly cared; apparently, wanting to keep warm in this hellish winter weather was a crime. I moved forward toward the building, miniskirt billowing in the slight breeze around me, and without a beat, snapped, "Shut. Up."

"I didn't say anything." My idiot friend casually replied.

"You're thinking; it's irritating."

"Just take off the hat, Usagi-chan. You look ridiculous, Harumi would be ashamed. In fact, I'm pretty sure he'd cry if he could see you now."

"Bite me, Moon Boy."

Matsuo chuckled as I tugged the hat further down over my head. I summoned the moon stick only to find that it hadn't returned to it's original form but instead had remained a scepter. After a second of befuddlement, I accidentally dragged it across the ground for a moment, unused to the length; the steel on pavement made a terrible screeching noise and behind me, I could _feel_ Ail the Alien rolling his eyes, gaze burning skeptically into the back of my neck. I resisted the urge to turn and bare my teeth at him for having the gall to think so little of me; yeah, I wasn't brave or particularly strong, but that didn't make me any less capable of grinding his face into the dirt.

Honestly, the nerve.

Wasn't even from this planet and- hm... Well, I supposed technically I wasn't from this planet either, but to be fair I did hail from an alternate version of Earth. Either way, this planet was my stomping ground; I was doing him a favor and Ail the Manner-less Alien thought he could condescend to me while being a guest in my… sort of home planet. The Silver Crystal warmed where it hung at my chest as I concentrated, summoning the flow of energy and directing it to the moon scepter. Of course, because nothing in my life could ever just go as planned, the Moon Healing Escalation technique had to go haywire on me.

Moon dust didn't shimmer daintily from the scepter as I'd expected it to.

No, no, that was too normal, apparently.

Instead it _surged_ , looking like a thousand teeny tiny stars, dancing and dipping and curling through roots and leaves as though carried along by a heavy wind. The crescent moon of my scepter glowed with unexpected brightness, drowning me in moonlight. I blinked several times as my eyes adjusted to the sudden change; it was like having someone hit the lights on without forewarning, not overwhelming exactly, just a surprise.

A chill went down my spine as a voice, otherworldly and definitely not belonging to me, whispered _Thank you, Sailor Moon_.

Then, the ominous tree building became, well, just a building as the tree itself seemed to lose all hostility and it's limbs withered into nothing. This left the structure with various gaping holes, somehow managing to make it look even less like an apartment building. Oddly enough, the Moon Healing Escalation also served to feed energy into Rei's wards, charging them; I knew this because as my attack died down and the light of the scepter dimmed, it finally became dark enough to spot the faint glow each seal now emitted.

I stared at them, and then the scepter, unsure what to think of the sudden magnitude in my power. Using the technique had felt… oddly relieving? Like wiping all the mud off a nice pair of shoes and seeing them spotless once more, or scrubbing dirt off after a long day and stepping out of the shower feeling good as new.

Matsuo appeared at my side, eyeing the seals. "Is, uh… Is that supposed to happen?"

I hadn't the faintest, but somehow I felt I shouldn't tell him that. "It isn't anything to worry about. Energy has to go somewhere right? Think of it like…charging a battery."

I was spouting nonsense but Matsuo, bless his little soul, was just a tad too focused on the faint glow of Rei's talismans to realize it. He nodded as though my explanation made perfect sense, and let the topic slip as Ail sped past us and into the building. My gaze followed the alien as Matsuo muttered, "I should probably go deal with that…"

"Or," I suggested helpfully, "You could _not_ enter that death trap and instead choose to live another day."

He ran a hand down the scruff of his face, studying the precarious building. "Fair point."

I was truly a bit surprised when Ail exited the building only a minute later fully intact; really, there was no way that place would remain standing for much longer. It'd probably cave in on itself at the next faint breeze, if the groaning of its metalwork were any indication. As Ail grew closer, I noted the body in his arms with vague interest; it was that of a female, bearing similar features and the same green hue as Ail. He lowered himself to the ground, holding her dirt-caked form tightly, and the new angle allowed me to spot a green sprout cupped between her hands.

I glanced at Matsuo and saw that his confusion mirrored mine, but still found myself asking, "Didn't you say the girl had died?"

"Yeah, she was impaled by the tree like, two days ago."

"She's breathing now." I pointed to the rise and fall of her chest.

Matsuo gifted me with a deadpan look before flipping open the watch at his wrist. "I'm going to call this in, hang on a second."

I allowed Sailor Moon to slip away, glad for the coverage of my normal clothes; a shiver ran through me as I began to warm up, and I watched curiously as he stepped away and began speaking into the watch. The action reminded me of something I hadn't seen in quite some time, the same way one turned away out of common curtesy when answering their phone. The conversation lasted no more than two minutes, and after he hung up curiosity got the better of me. "Who were you talking to?"

"Ami." Matsuo explained. "She's at headquarters. We try to always have someone on hand there just in case, for moments like these."

"Is that necessary though? I mean, if everyone has those watches then being able to get into contact shouldn't be too difficult."

He raked a hand through his wavy locks. "It's just easier this way. Besides, it's not as though there's nothing to do there; right now Ami will be monitoring the city's police scanners or the emergency operator line for anything strange, or she'll be writing the day's entrance log or reading through the reports and taking notes for the next meeting. Our work is never really done, though I'm sure you'll see what I mean soon enough."

Police scanners? Reports?

I had about a million questions, but I held off on them, following behind Matsuo as he approached the extraterrestrials and bent down to their level. It took Ail a moment to look up, as though he'd had to force himself to.

"You can't stay here tonight," Matsuo began, "that building looks set to collapse at any moment. The Order can set you up in a hotel for tonight and the next few nights until your sister awakens, if that's okay with you. However, as per our agreement, as soon as she's fit for travel-"

"We'll be on our way." Ail finished. He muttered something about having had enough of our planet, but it was under his breath so I didn't catch the full of it from where I stood. Matsuo chuckled, and with a cheerful smile, we were all on our way. The next hour was one spent in quiet interest as I watched Matsuo get the aliens settled into a hotel room; he left them a number in order to get in contact with someone from the Order should they need to do so before leaving with promises to check in tomorrow and permission to get whatever they wanted via room service.

I was stunned.

Expenses aside, Matsuo had acted with a sort of easy professionalism that could only come with experience; there had been no hesitation, fumbling, or awkwardness on his end, and the only time Matsuo called in to Ami was to verify that all had gone well. The Order of Elysion… I hadn't had time to build much expectation, but what little I might have held had been thoroughly crushed. We walked in silence for a bit after that, wandering with no real destination in mind until we stumbled upon an open donut shop.

"Boston cream?" He asked me.

I considered it. "Two, and maybe a-"

"-Hot chocolate, extra whip cream." Matsuo grinned down at me. "I know."

I rolled my eyes as he went into the shop, the only customer at the moment. Behind the register, a lifeless employee eyed Matsuo's cheerful disposition with utter disdain. Matsuo, being the person he was, paid this no mind as he listed off his order. The employee turned away to fill it, and I moved until I was an inch from the glass and waved wildly until my friend caught the movement from the corner of his eye. He turned, and attempted to maintain a straight expression as I made faces at him through the glass. The employee said something to him, and he glanced away, replying. My breath was fogging the glass; quickly, I breathed heavily onto it while his attention was divided.

When he looked back, a crude drawing was displayed on the glass.

Matsuo choked on air, and a genuine laugh left me as I peeked in at him from the very edge of the store window. As he fumbled with the change, order in hand, and all but ran out of the store, I couldn't help but think that maybe the two of us hadn't changed all that much.

Maybe we would be okay.

* * *

Twenty minutes later found Matsuo and I returned to the apartment, taking refuge from the cold. We were sitting side by side on his couch, trying and failing to snack cleanly on our donuts, when I finally found an opening to pose the question on my mind.

"So… what exactly is this whole Order of Elysion business about?"

"Mmm, what do you mean?"

"Specifically?" I asked, and he nodded around his jelly filled treat. Pausing, I gathered my thoughts and attempted to form them into something coherent. "Well, For starters I guess I'm asking where the idea came from. I mean, the whole point of going after the Generals had been for the extra help in the future, so it sort of worked out the way I'd hoped."

What baffled me was how effortlessly the Sailor Scouts and the Generals merged.

"Actually, Usa-chan was the catalyst."

That was unexpected. "Oh?"

"It was just something she'd let slip during her first few days here." Matsuo shifted on the couch, leaning his back against the arm in order to face me fully. I mirrored his position, crossing my legs to make room as his spread out. He handed me a napkin to wipe my mouth with and continued. "Ami had asked her to explain what the Order was, Usa-chan had given a flimsy explanation –she'd been more focused on finding you at the time- and hadn't particularly cared for the line of questioning. Of course, Minako took to the idea like a dog with a bone.

"That girl can be really scary when she sets her sights on something. She just wouldn't drop it and after a few days she managed to squeeze more information out of the kid and then somehow roped the rest of us in." He shook his head, tone dangerously close to something like awe. "Honestly? I'm not even sure how she did it. You know, Minako-chan might just be as relentless as you, and that's saying something."

I crumpled my napkin and chucked it at his head. "What exactly is it that you guys do though? What's the point of the Oder of Elysion? And what the hell does Elysion even mean?"

"We protect." He replied easily. "We protect all the normal people, the ones with no idea what's out there and no way to defend themselves against it. Magic is real, aliens exist; the Dark Kingdom might be gone, but they aren't the only threats out there. Did you know Beryl used to be human? Not simply an ordinary human though; apparently, back in the Silver Millennium she'd been known as a sorceress."

"So…?"

Matsuo sighed in exasperation. "Think about it, Usagi-chan. The Generals are from earth, and they had powers _before_ the Dark Kingdom. Rei-chan has psychic abilities and can do priestess stuff outside of her Sailor form; Mamoru is capable of psychometry and a few other impressive feats despite not being a Sailor Scout. What does that tell you?"

"That the two of us know some very special snowflakes?"

"Magic is _everywhere_!" He ignored that and threw his hands up, gesturing around us. "It's textbook knowledge what comes next, right? Great power can be used for both good and evil, depending on the person. We-"

"You watch over the city." It dawned on me then, the reason for listening in on police scanners. "You keep an ear out for anything remotely supernatural."

"We do other things too, of course." He sat back, satisfaction dripping from his voice. "Wading out useless information from the potential is a trial itself; potentials are recorded and logged, then put into order of importance, and _then_ someone is sent out to do a preliminary investigation. If it turns out to be nothing, then that's logged too and we move onto the next one, but if a potential turns out to be our division, then a full scale investigation is mounted. It's only a teeny part of the overall work we do day by day. Scribing, researching, training, strategizing, investigating; we all do our part and then some."

"And the agreement with Ail?" I inquired. "Is that normal as well?"

Matsuo shrugged. "It's something new we're trying. We help them out, and they leave the civilians alone. Mostly. It was a bit of a rocky start."

Well, they were aliens, after all; there'd probably been some fighting going on. I processed this information, and a new thought occurred to me. "Okay then, so if everyone has their jobs, then what do you and Naru do? You guys are the normal ones, so what are your roles in this?"

He gave me a knowing look. "I know what you're really thinking. It's okay to say it, Usagi-chan. Why are ordinary people like us involved in this, what do we bring to the table?"

I held his stare, not denying it, and Matsuo continued. "We don't have super powers like the rest of you, but it's our fight too; we all share this world, and we have equal rights to fight for this cause. Being ordinary doesn't mean we can't do our part; Naru and I, we know what's out there, and we _can_ do something about it."

"You can fight, so you should." I mused aloud. "I don't like it, but I guess I can understand what you're saying."

From a very distance perspective, though I wasn't going to say it.

"Naru and Ami are our intel, they focus mostly on research and recon. Believe it or not, Naru has a lot of pull in this city, and an alarming amount on contacts outside as well; I guess it has partially something to do with her having been in the newspapers a while back, or so I'm told."

"Naru the walking miracle." I suppressed a snort. "I remember it vividly. Go on."

"Well, she catches what we miss, the things people don't call into the police about. She has contacts with a few high standing people, but mostly it's small time journalists, nurses at the hospital, classmates and clients from her family store. Naru has a way of getting people to tell her what she wants; it's a mix of office and leg work. Sometimes we send her on preliminaries as well." He looked at me thoughtfully and, after a moment, added, "Naru is really good at what she does."

"And you? Are you any good?"

His grin was startlingly proud. "Oh, you'd better believe it. Makoto-chan and I work together upstairs; I'm the Order's drill instructor, so to speak. I work with the others on fighting styles, their teamwork, and so on."

"Oh, so like a gym teacher?"

Matsuo threw me an offended look that told me I'd hit my mark. "A gym teacher? Is that what you'd call Hajime-sensei?"

I smirked. "Hajime-sensei is a master of martial arts. You're more of a… coach, or a trainer."

Actually, now that I thought about it Hajime-sensei was proficient in far more than martial arts, if those extra lessons of his had been anything to go by. He knew an alarming amount of different fighting techniques for someone that taught love and forgiveness.

"If you'll recall, I'm Hajime-sensei's assistant." Matsuo sniffed. "I'm more than qualified for the job. In fact, I've been picking up a few different things from him for the past two months; you know, while _someone_ was prancing about the country. I doubt the current you could take me on anymore."

Shit, I _was_ two months out of practice.

He all but preened at my dawning expression, clearly pleased with himself and, well, we couldn't have that, now could we? "Careful there, Moon boy. It isn't common knowledge, but before I left Hajime-sensei was also teaching me a few things on the side. It's been a long time since we last sparred; you have no idea what I might be capable of now."

"Is that a challenge?"

I laughed; clearly someone had grown a bit too arrogant in my absence. I supposed it wouldn't hurt to knock his ego down a few pegs, provided I actually retained the skill to do so. I hid my uncertainty behind a wicked grin, smothering the feeling entirely, and to my delight Matsuo's own boaster dampened as he eyed me. It was possible he was reconsidering the offer, but I wasn't about to let him back out now.

"Oh, my dear, dear friend, it is most certainly a challenge. Unless…" I batted my lashes, grin stretching at the way he narrowed his eyes. "Unless you're too… scared? You can forfeit of course, there's no shame in doing so and really, who would blame you?"

"Usagi-chan," Matsuo chimed brightly, "When I win, I'm going to make you wear that rabbit costume Harumi made for a _week_."

"Fisticuffs at dawn then, is it?"

"Oh no." My stomach sank at the gleam in his gaze. "We're doing this at headquarters, after tomorrow's meeting."

I shrugged. "As you wish."

Inwardly, I prayed I hadn't just bitten off more than I could chew. Matsuo had always been excellent at aikido, and from the very beginning I'd been clamoring to keep up with him. I had a few tricks up my sleeve, but I was two months out of practice, and in those two months he had been learning new trick of his own; additionally, it had to be acknowledged that we shared the same teacher, meaning there was no telling whether Hajime-sensei had taught us both the exact same moves.

Matsuo claimed to be the Order's drill sergeant.

I could see it, too; out of everyone in the Order, he was by far the tallest and it had to be said that Matsuo was all muscle. The only person that towered over Matsuo was Hajime-sensei, the human personification of a tank and the very man he'd been mentoring under for the past few years. Matsuo's greatest skill lied in hand to hand combat, and after being surrounded by supernaturally inclined people for the past two months, I had no doubt that he'd sought to further his prowess in martial arts, if only to assure himself that he truly could make a difference.

How far had his drive brought him?

"So…" He murmured, pulling me back to reality. "Just out of curiosity, you definitely haven't been training while you were away, right?"

Ah. So I wasn't the only one with doubts then.

I rolled my eyes and teasingly replied, "As if I'd tell you."

After all, it was looking like I'd need whatever advantage I could get my hands on.

* * *

The next morning, guilt shadowed me as I strolled down the busier streets of the Azabu-Juuban district.

It was eight thirty in the morning, and on the other side of town Matsuo was still slumbering on the couch of his apartment. We'd fallen asleep sometime after three, so it came as no surprise that he had still been out cold when I'd slipped out the door earlier this morning. As my feet took me down familiar streets I mentally struggled to sooth my conscience; it wasn't as though I was doing anything wrong, honestly. I wasn't a child, and I didn't need to explain myself, ask permission, or require a babysitter when I went out.

 _There's a note on the door,_ I reasoned. _I left all my stuff too, and promised I'd be back before five._

Matsuo was going to go into an epileptic fit either way though; I had a feeling he'd been outside my door for some time last night, probably afraid that I'd disappear on him again. I wouldn't though, not like last time, not after realizing how much pain I had caused him by leaving without a word. I understood his anxiety, but… I couldn't cater to it right now. In the wake of my last revelation I required some breathing room and, more importantly, there were a few things I needed to see to, without him or anyone else hovering over my shoulder.

First, I went to the bookstore.

I'd have gone to the library, but I was pretty sure they wouldn't let me take what I needed until the two month late fee had been paid and I was just too cheap to bother paying it; also, I didn't particularly feel like leaving a trail for Ami to sniff out, and checking out books would leave a list for her to eventually find, should it ever strike her fancy. I wasn't exactly doing anything criminal, but my business was my own and for that matter, so were my secrets.

The bookstore I went to had very little of what I was looking for, and I ended up stopping at two more along the way (dubious places that sold rocks and incense and talked about chakra) before I had a good pile of books to satisfy me and a satchel to carry them around in. I stepped out onto the street with my purchases, but make no further move as phase two of the plan came into action. This next part required a fair bit of forethought, and though I was not as strapped for time as I currently felt, I found myself anxious to get off the street before I ran into anyone familiar.

 _Rushing makes you sloppy_ , I chided myself. It had been so long since I had last plotted anything, and now that I was in familiar territory once again, my body was buzzing with new energy, almost as though it had just woken from hibernation. I told myself it wasn't thrill that had my heart pumping, merely adrenaline from having been out of the game for so long, playing with so little information. _Focus Usagi._

Location; where did I go from here?

When he woke up, Matsuo would start looking for me; he'd drag Makoto into it if she didn't volunteer outright, and no doubt Rini would hop aboard. I had to operate under the assumption that all of the Order would be looking for me, for simplicity's sake if nothing else. So then, the only question left was where I could go to remain undisturbed for the next few hours. I knew the first places they'd look; the Fabler, the dojo, the Tsukino Residence. They'd check a few of the parks I used to haunt from time to time, the library, and keep an eye out near the train and bus stations.

Where was the last place they'd look though? Where was the last place I would ever consider for a hiding place?

Well… probably the middle school.

It settled my decision for me, and I scuttled down the road with my destination in mind. It would take them a good deal of time to even _think_ about checking the school, because I loathed that place, would never willingly enter it of my own accord. Enough of them knew it, and they were perfectly right in thinking that way. To this day, I still wouldn't be caught dead in that place, even if it provided many hiding spots; which is why I wasn't going to go there.

I was desperate, but not _that_ desperate.

Plus I was on a mission of sorts, and as luck would have it there was a very specific place where no one would think to look; a place that was perfect for what I endeavored to do. Going to the school would mean accepting my eventual discovery. Now, that wasn't to say that I expected to go uncaught for the entirety of the day, because capture was inevitable; no, I was simply doing my best to prolong it. The school would have been ideal had time not been an issue, but because it was, I couldn't have interruptions until all was said and done.

At about ten I slipped into the Hikawa shrine grounds and, after careful observation, ascertained that Rei was not within the premises.

Her grandfather had gone into what I thought to be a storage shed, and he could be heard muttering and making a racket as I snuck past and scurried into the open doorway. After all that traveling I'd done, the temples and shrines I'd visited, it felt sinfully wrong to be sneaking into sacred grounds without permission as I currently was. As I settled into the familiar back room of the house and perched myself under the open window, I couldn't help but send a prayer out, along with a vow to pay my respects as soon as I finished.

Call me crazy, but after dying, hopping dimensions, becoming friends with a sort of ghost, and using _magic_ to fight off great evil, I was thinking that maybe it was time to stop scoffing at spirits or religion in general. Considering what I was about to attempt, I couldn't exactly condemn the existence or beliefs of such matters. By no means was I about to convert and become an avid follower (because god or no god this was a bullshit life) but that hardly meant I couldn't give respect where it was due.

So, I sent out a prayer of apology, hoped nothing would smite me, and got on with things.

Three hours later, with my books spread out on the floor in a half circle around me and a new wealth of information swirling in my head, I was ready to either curse all life, or curl into a ball and cry. It was all conjecture, theory; nowhere in any of these books, or likely anywhere in the world for that matter, would I find any substantial groundwork or basis to start working with. These texts were nothing more than guesswork made by observers, third parties that made a foundation so pitiful I wouldn't dare build upon it for fear of falling.

Yet I knew it was real.

I knew the astral realm must exist.

Astral projection was more or less an extreme version of lucid dreaming, only I'd never accomplished lucid dreaming; it was a step I'd skipped all together, so working my way up to astral projection the way these books prompted wasn't going to work. I didn't have months to climb the stepping stones, I had mere hours and as far as I knew this was the only way. If Rei had the ability to see visions and Mamoru could do whatever the hell psychometry was, then astral projection couldn't be all that much of a stretch, could it?

I couldn't say with certainty that the Serenity I had grown close to over the past two months was real. There were a lot of missing pieces, enough holes in my memory and things I didn't understand to have planted that seed of doubt and nourish its growth. I had to hope I wasn't crazy, and that this would work, because right now my mind was in chaos and I needed her help to sort through it. If Serenity wouldn't appear to me, then come hell or high water I was going to wherever she was.

I clutched the silver crystal between my hands and lied on my back, closing my eyes.

Relaxing my body was easy, but clearing my mind and keeping it that way took some effort. With each rise and fall of my chest I counted idly, opening the rest of my senses to the outside world. A faint breeze blew from the open window above me, weaving through leafless trees and sifting up the topmost layer of snow; odd, how warm I was, how comfortable the room felt despite the window being open. You'd have thought I'd be colder, so close to the wall, and yet not even the exposed skin of my face felt chilled.

The floor under me was warm, as though the sun had been shining on it for some time though the cloudy sky told a different story. The air should have been colder or warmer, but I felt no urge to wrap up in a blanket or strip the many layers of clothing; no… somehow I felt just right. I had stopped counting at some point, though when I couldn't say; the Silver Crystal was cupped to my chest, enveloping me as I thought of Serenity, her silver hair and bright blue eyes and gold crescent moon.

It felt as though hours and hours passed.

I drifted.

* * *

I stood in a courtyard, somewhere in the palace of the Moon Kingdom.

Above me, someone had painted the entire galaxy into the night sky; it was an explosion of stars, a thousand different swirling hues of purple and blue and even a little bit of green. The earth hovered in the distance, so startlingly close that I was sure if I reached out, I'd somehow touch it. The temptation left me as movement caught my attention and I turned to find Serenity standing not ten feet away; her lips were parted in surprise, a hand pressed against the base of her throat as she took me in.

I laughed, giddy as I approached her. "Hi- I can't believe that worked."

"I did not bring you here." She murmured, almost accusingly. "How.."

"I found a loop hole." At her disbelieving look, I shrugged. "I had some free time on my hands. Speaking of which, I've been trying to contact you for a while now; what's with the radio silence?"

 _I wasn't crazy, she was real._

 _She was real._

Serenity blew air out of her cheeks. "I was saving my energy. It is not so easy to manifest outside of the Silver Crystal as I do."

I nodded in understanding, considering her words, and then paused. "Wait. Wait wait wait. Do- Are you telling me we're _inside_ the Silver Crystal right now?"

"Yes. You have been here before, if you recall."

I sputtered. "Uh, yeah, I guess, but I didn't know this was… yikes."

Did this count as astral projection? I didn't think so, but at the same time I was outside my physical body, wasn't I? Whatever, I couldn't be bothered with semantics at the moment; I'd agonize over the technicalities of it later, when I had time for an existential crisis or two. Serenity watched amusedly as I shook the thought off and addressed her once more, "Look, I don't know how much you know, so I'll just get out with it. I ran into some little girl on New Year's Eve and got her out of trouble, and then Matsuo showed up, and then I found out she's actually your time traveling daughter from the future- a thousand years in the future, more or less.

"She came back to convince me to return and save future you. She also started a cult with the Sailor Scouts and the Generals, claimed there's a way to bring you back to reality, and mentioned we were going to accomplish world domination; oh, and apparently I'm going to die at some point. I've got a sick nickname though." I paused to inhale air, and finished with, "So, what do you think?"

She stared.

I stared back.

Finally, after a good minute or two Serenity managed to spit out, "I beg your pardon?"

She looked a bit peaky, for an untethered soul that is; still, concern nagged at me, and I took her by the hands, lead us to sit at a nearby bench. With a long suffering sigh, I resigned myself to further elaboration. In the end, I managed to boil it down to this; the kid was almost certainly hers, and so far she appeared to retain knowledge that she could not otherwise have unless she truly was from the future; things such as where to find me, the exact date I would disappear, and the knowledge of Serenity and I having wronged one another.

I went on to explain what little I knew of the Order of Elysion, the truth Rini claimed of Serenity's possible revival, and what had been left unsaid- my eventual demise.

"I just- I don't know." Frustration leaked into my tone as I yanked on the ends of my hair. "How can I even begin to believe in what she says when I don't know the truth of her motives? I mean, when you think about it, Rini is kind of the reason the Order of Elysion exists; she brought me back here, too. It's a lot of power, having influence over that many people at once, having influence over the past like this."

I didn't voice my other fear.

The Silver Crystal… it was mine to guard, but not rightfully; Rini was the next Moon Princess, next in line to wield it should she want to. If she wanted it, if she tried to take it from me at any point- my heart clenched. I couldn't give it up, wouldn't give it up. No, she'd have to pry it from my cold, dead fingers because I wouldn't willingly part with it, not with Serenity's soul stuck in here and not after I freed her. The very thought made my body want to seize up. It _was_ mine, my safety net, the only guarantee of freedom in this life; if I had the Silver Crystal, it could never be used against me, if I had it then I truly stood a chance in this world.

I would sooner die than be powerless.

Serenity put her hand over mine, pulling me from my musings. "Do not fret just yet; first let us account for what we know to be true. We know this child to be who she says she is by your memory, at the very least. What else do you consider fact?"

I thought about it. "Well… she appeared eleven weeks ago. On the surface, she believes I am the key to fixing whatever mayhem has befallen her present. Other than that… I'm not sure."

"Then consider the possibilities." She began. "Firstly, if what she says about the future is indeed the truth, how do we proceed? I know for a fact that you do not intend to face off this unknown enemy either way. So then, what comes next?"

"If Rini speaks the truth…" What then? Part of me desperately wanted her to be right, and yet another part of me shied away from the thought, from its implications. "If she is right, then I need to make her tell me how I'm going to bring you back, that's priority number one. I should also find out what everyone else has learned of the future, gather as much information as possible before making any decisions. Even if she's lying, that's something I need to know in order to move forward from here."

"Look upon every action and word with doubt." Serenity told me. Her expression was oddly fierce, borderline protective. "Take everything you learn with a grain of salt and allow no one to be the wiser; if there is a falsehood to be found then we will find it. Until then…"

"Play along." I could do that, for now. For reasons I couldn't explain, it bothered me to think that Rei or Naru or even Minako could be in on some type of plan against me. It was easier to think that Rini was the most probable threat here, but I wouldn't allow myself to discard the other possibility just yet. I didn't particularly want to make an enemy out of the Order, but… well, if it turned out that way, I would do what had to be done; no one was going to hurt us, not if I had any say in the matter.

Beside me, Serenity hummed, turning her gaze skyward. After a moment, her lips curled up in a smile, soft and filled with nostalgia. "The Order of Elysion, huh?"

Curiosity nagged at me. "Does the name mean anything to you?"

"…Yes." A hint of longing entered her voice as she quietly replied, "Yes, it is of great importance to me. It was the capital of the Golden Kingdom, you see; Endymion's kingdom."

I understood then; Elysion, in honor of what had been lost.

"I'm going to bring you back." I told her.

She looked at me then, eyes wide at the promise. Whatever it was Serenity had been about to say, it became buried as she looked at me with something close to fear. "I do not wish to speak of it, please. If it's as you think, and the child came here for your help- _here_ and not in her present time…"

"Don't. Don't worry about that, don't even think about it." I raised my chin at her forlorn expression, and scoffed. "Who do you think I am? God himself could ascend from the heavens and command me to die, and I'd live just to spite him."

She let out a giggle at my impish grin, and I took the opportunity to change the subject.

Inside me, the wheels had begun to turn.

I was going to die.

My mouth tasted of ash and I was _empty empty empty._

* * *

When I found my way back into reality, my mind had settled.

I had a course of action, a vague idea of how to move forward from here. For now I would watch, listen, and wait; I was going to gather all the information one way or another, and after that, I would come to a decision. I knew there would be much to learn at the meeting tonight; Minako had insisted on it and I was glad, because we hadn't really gotten to the gist of everything last night and there was clearly more to be said. I had a feeling that it was time to shed some light onto the truth, from both sides.

She would want details on Serenity, and in turn I knew Minako had something weighing on her mind; information, perhaps, or an offer.

Only time would tell.

I gathered the books and stuffed them into the satchel, all the while thinking about what to give away and what to keep hidden at the meeting tonight; it was time to see how far their knowledge extended, how far Rini's did. However, first there was one more matter that needed to be dealt with here and now; I had to be in top form for the meeting if I was to keep my wits about me, and I couldn't do that with this hanging in the air.

Death could be ever so distracting.

Very carefully, I looked at the Silver crystal in my hands and did something I'd never done before. I took it off, set it down on the other side of the room, and returned to my place beneath the window. The Silver Crystal was Serenity, it connected her to me and after informing her of the situation I was sure she would be doing what she could to keep an eye on things. Right now, I didn't want her to hear my next thoughts; if I was going to make this work, then she couldn't see it coming, no one could.

With a new resolve, I began to plan.

* * *

A/N

" _Where are the answers we were promised?!_ " You ask me. Well, I did manage to hit a few of them, but this chapter is already long enough and the next scene with the meeting had to be cut and saved for the next chapter because it is obscenely long. Also, I'd say we received a fair amount of new information in this chapter alone; process it, give it a pat on the head, and then bring your rage afterwards.

Could I have fit the meeting in and given you all those long awaited answers? Yeah, probably, but the chapter would be the longest one yet, we'd have information overload, some interactions would have to be cut out, and we wouldn't get to appreciate the little things.

So, more answers next chapter. (Not All Though)

To ward off the inevitable rioting for answers I promised but haven't gotten to, here's a little spoiler at what to expect next chapter.

Naru Confrontation! Manly feels! Alarming answers to the Usagi vs Metaria Debacle! Order of Elysion information! Other answers! Even MORE Questions! And! More!

Very informative, I know.

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	19. Chapter 19

A/N

Why did I post **two** chapters, you ask?

Because I make a VOW that we would get to see certain things in this chapter, but then it got too long so I had to end it and write the next. You all get two chapters in one day and I get to keep my word and honor as a writer.

Win-win, sort of.

Disclaimer: I own this fic, obviously.

* * *

 _Matsuo P.O.V._

She was gone when I woke up.

There was a terrible moment where I could feel myself sit up, stare at the empty cushion beside me in the dead silence of the apartment, and just… know.

Usagi wasn't here.

I leapt from the couch and staggered into the spare room all the while trying to ignore the sensation of _falling_ , as though having stepped off the ledge of a very high place with the ground rapidly rising to meet me. Only when I saw her belongings on the floor next to the bed, inevitable proof that Usagi had not disappeared into the night once more, did my lungs finally fill with air and the floor steady itself beneath me.

But still, she was _gone_.

I stifled the lingering threads of panic before they could overwhelm me – _Usagi wouldn't leave me like that again, as though it were nothing, she wouldn't go without a word_ \- and picked up the house phone, dialing a number I now knew by heart.

Mamoru picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?" The Prince's voice was fully alert.

Almost like he'd been waiting next to the phone, too worried to stray far from the landline. Exactly as I had been last night, pacing back and forth outside Usagi-chan's room, unable to sleep for fear she'd not be there when I next woke. There was something humorous about it, how similar our reactions to Usagi were (stress, exasperation). Had the situation not been what it was I might have laughed, because honestly, who would have seen this coming?

Mamoru and I had bonded over the insanity that was Usagi-chan, of all things.

It was a shared concern that I was grateful for, if only because it meant having someone I could vent to without potentially spoiling their opinion of her. After all, it was Mamoru that had come with me to Otaru, volunteering himself before I had the chance to ask; Mamoru and not Makoto-chan that I spoke to about her. What would she have to say to that, I wonder? What would Usagi think if she knew that one of the people she claimed to be a constant annoyance also happened to care almost (but not quite) as much as myself?

I put those thoughts aside for the moment. "It's me, Matsuo."

"I know, I have caller ID." Mamoru replied, and of course he did, the rich bastard; I'd have to look into getting that, if I could afford it. Keeping up with the growth of technology was a pain, not to mention expensive. Caller ID, Computers in schools; honestly, what was next? "What's up? Is Usagi…?"

His voice trailed off, as though it was a sentence he didn't want to finish.

Understandable, given it was _Usagi_.

"She's gone." I forced the words out. The other side of the line went deadly quiet, and before the Princeling could jump to conclusions I hurriedly added, "Her stuff is still here, but Usagi isn't in the apartment, and I have no idea when she might have left or where she could be."

A pause.

"…You haven't said you don't know _why_ she left."

Clever guy. I'd carefully left that out hoping he wouldn't think to ask, because I had a pretty good idea of why Usagi wasn't here right now and it wasn't something I wanted to spend any length of time thinking on. "She figured it out. She knows she isn't alive in the future."

A curse rang out from the other end of the phone.

"How did she take it?"

The scene from last night played back in my mind, Usagi's pale, almost broken expression, the soft tone as she stated, _I'm already dead, aren't I?_ as if it were obvious, an inevitable and foregone conclusion.

Like she could already taste her end, could see it looming in the distance.

I cleared my throat. "It… could have been worse. She sort of shut down, likely in denial or just ignoring it completely. Look, I'm not sure whether to report this in to headquarters or leave it be and look for her ourselves."

It was too big a city. I knew Usagi, but finding her alone could take hours and hours, especially when she had a decent head start and didn't want to be found. Mamoru would be of help, but even with him… it would take too long. Usagi wasn't okay, I wasn't much better, and there would be no reprieve from the sinking feeling in my gut until someone found her. If she wanted to be alone, fine, I wouldn't bother her and Usagi could have her space, I just needed to check on her.

I just needed to see that this wasn't like last time.

Mamoru knew it too. "You start looking now, and I'll inform the Order. We'll get Ami and Naru watching the train station just in case, and I'll round up whoever else is available. Send Ami a list of possible places she could be at and we'll check those."

"Wait, ask Naru too." I murmured as the thought occurred to me, "She knew Usagi the longest, so maybe Naru will have some idea where to look."

"On it." He sighed. "Minako will lose it if Usagi jumps ship before hearing her out."

"She wouldn't." My reply was automatic, defensive.

It didn't convince me.

Mamoru paused. "You're right. It's probably fine, and she just needed some air." There was a shuffling from his end. "For now, let's keep what she found out between the two of us until Usagi's ready to bring it up herself. Knowing you have an expiration date… well, it's a healthy reaction, far better than what we might have expected. We'll find her, and go from there."

"And if she does intend to leave?" The words were out before I could fully think them through, but it was Mamoru, and I had to know now before anything had the chance to get out of hand. "If Usagi-chan decides she doesn't want this, if she chooses to go, what then?"

"Then we figure it out without her." His reply was firm. "However, I don't think it will come to that. I think…. I think even if she did leave, eventually Usagi would find her way back. She has to make the choice herself, Minako wouldn't have her any other way."

There was a sort of quiet passion in Mamoru's tone, a genuine tilt that said he truly believed those words. It was a lovely sentiment too, that the Usagi who'd slipped out into the night without a single word would now choose to stay and fight for our cause. I didn't dare to put stock in that daydream as I thanked him and got off the phone. I threw on a coat and slipped into my shoes, absently going through the motions as I drew a mental map of the places to start looking. _She wouldn't disappear like before, not now, not after realizing how wrong it was._

Right?

The letters she'd sent came to mind along with a treacherous voice that whispered, _But she'd known it was wrong and had gone through with it anyway, hadn't she?_

My feet cemented to the ground as I acknowledged that yes, Usagi had left the way she had at least somewhat aware of the consequences. It showed clear as day in her letters, guilt and regret and fear despite having had no intention of returning and no desire to be found. This… it had been a mistake, hadn't it? Bringing her back- I'd known it too, after talking to her yesterday morning. Usagi didn't want this kind of life, she wanted normalcy, not to be dragged into what ultimately amounted to another battle.

Was it acceptable to go look for her right now?

Did I have any right to?

Usagi… she was family, more so than the people I shared blood with, people I hadn't spoken to in years. Hajime-sensei, who taught me to defend myself, to stand tall and fight back, was family. Harumi, who had given me a job and handed me the means to become independent, to build myself a happier life, was family, and so was Usagi-chan. Usagi, who started out as a quiet, fierce, _unwavering_ presence and then became someone that not only listened, but understood; someone that cared, that took the ugly parts, accepted them for what they were, and then kept on _caring._

And she did it so effortlessly.

As though there was nothing to it, like her acceptance was a given and that those countless hours spent walking nowhere, talking about anything and everything, letting me rant or rage or groan- as if that was where we were always meant to be. Usagi was family, her love came free and it was so all-consuming that there was no doubting whether you were someone worth loving, whether you were deserving or capable of receiving it. She was the one that had showed me I _could_ have something good and keep it, past be damned.

That I could find someone like Makoto-chan and keep her without it all going horribly wrong.

Usagi was the stranger that walked into my life, looked at the broken shards, jagged edges, and said "That's okay" before proceeding to make herself at home. Usagi was family, the most easy and effortless insertion into my life, and once she was there it felt as though we'd always known one another.

And then she had left just as easily.

How jarring that had been.

I had known she wasn't happy, that here was something wrong with her situation and once, it had occurred to me that a day could come where Usagi-chan decided enough was enough. For whatever reason though I hadn't ever actually believed that she would leave. I'd gotten it into my head that we would mend her wounds the way she had helped mend mine, that I'd scoop up my best friend and save her from a bad situation the way Harumi and Hajime-sensei had me, and that eventually it was all going to work out.

Even after finding out about the supernatural world and realizing the problem wasn't as clear cut as it had originally seemed, I'd figured we would make it work somehow. She would learn to get past her issues with Makoto-chan and we'd live together and Usagi would bully me the exact way she did at work and I'd take it because her bullying and teasing was the affectionate kind, the sort I imagined siblings utilized.

But that wasn't what happened.

She'd just… left.

Usagi-chan likely didn't want to be found at the moment, so what right did I have to look for her?

She was my family, but… that didn't make me hers.

There would be no explaining it to her either; how did you tell the person responsible for giving you a possible case of abandonment issues that leaving unexpectedly, in the _exact same manner_ , might perhaps be a poor idea. Usagi didn't want to be found, and I no longer held the same confidence in the strength of our friendship, so what right did I have to go hunt her down other than to ease my own anxiety?

Try as I might, I couldn't find an answer to the question that plagued me. I was still wrestling with the thought, staring off into space in the entrance hall when I saw it- a yellow sheet of paper taped to the door with hastily scrawled words. My feet moved forward without thought as I ripped the note off the door and read it once and then twice and then a final time in sheer disbelief.

 _Dearest Matsuo,_

 _Stop right there! Don't freak out (is it too late to say that?) but I've gone into town on business and likely won't be back until far later in the day. Also, don't be mad. I've got things to do, eleven week old errands to run and whatnot, and while I realize the lack of my shining presence may prove difficult to bear, I'm afraid you'll just have to tolerate it._

 _Sincerely (and with the deepest of sympathies),_

 _Me_

It was… so Usagi; so dramatic and ridiculous and unexpected, and somehow, that very notion soothed the uncertainty. Mamoru was right, she was probably fine and needed some time to think or cope. It would be okay. I didn't need to chase after her as though she was as fleeting as leaves in the wind.

Then again…

Usagi-chan was rather adept at getting into all sorts of trouble when left to her own devices. Picking fights, being in the wrong place at the wrong time, and somehow managing to cross paths with magic or ESP wielding individuals. I wasn't going to actively hunt her down when she needed some space or alone time, but that didn't mean I had to stay in either. I was just… going for a casual stroll, for an extended amount of time around the city, casually. If I happened to cross paths with Usagi, well, coincidences did happen.

It was just a morning stretch.

* * *

 _Main P.O.V._

I stashed the satchel and my mostly useless collection of books in the back of a dark, dusty little cupboard in the back room before sneaking out of Rei's shrine. Unfortunately, her grandfather was skulking about out front so I didn't get a chance to pay my respects, instead too focused on getting away unseen. Part of me lingered briefly on the thought that cosmic karma might punish me for that, but, to be fair, I figured it didn't matter how good I was as the universe was likely to keep dishing out the abuse either way.

With the sun low in the sky –not quite peeking through the thick layer of gray- I began the long trek towards Matsuo's apartment. With the upcoming meeting on the forefront of my mind, I couldn't help but think back to what Serenity and I had discussed.

 _Too convenient_ , Something in me hummed.

I understood Serenity's worries, her fierce words, because upon looking at the situation from a different angle… it was too convenient.

Somehow, this was a trap.

How, exactly, I had yet to figure out, but surely it was because what other explanation could there possibly be? Nothing in life was ever this easy going, never so simple or so neat; no, this was undoubtedly a trap and either I sprang it or I figured out a way to disable it despite the severe odds stacked against me. Thoughts of Matsuo, of Rei and Mamoru and even Naru invaded my mind, and my heart clenched oddly at the thought that these people could be in on something against myself and, by extension, Serenity.

At the very least, surely, _surely_ not Matsuo, never him.

We weren't as close as we'd once been, but surely he would never betray me like that, as something to be used, even if for the greater good. The rest, however… it left a bad taste in my mouth, strangely enough, and yet I couldn't bring myself to give them the same near immediate benefit of the doubt as I had my best friend. Everything just- it all fit so cleanly, pieces clicking into place one after another in a procession too smooth to be coincidence.

Rini arrives mere _hours_ after I slip away, and in the span of eleven weeks by an offhand comment of her own, the Order of Elysion is formed and running like a well-oiled machine. Then, of course, she tracks me down in Otaru, a place I wouldn't have been in on that day had that officer in Kyoto not spooked me. I'd agreed to come back on my own, but if I hadn't, if I'd just waited, I was sure they'd have reeled me in somehow. Mamoru was smart, and he'd had a ten hour train ride to come up with a plan; one that Matsuo likely hadn't stuck to. Of course, what did that matter because I was here now, wasn't I?

And I wouldn't be leaving, either.

No, my fate had been sealed the moment those words slipped off the child's tongue. _You save her._ Now there was no choice, even knowing that a trap lay somewhere in this twist of events I couldn't turn my back to the possibility. Hook, line, and sinker. I was in this for the long haul, if only because now that the thought was there, I could see it come to fruition oh so clearly in my mind's eye. This world was filled with magic, actual _magic_ ; possibilities were endless, and if anyone had the resolve for such an endeavor it was me. Build a body, transfer her soul, I could do that, I would get it done.

Even if it meant walking head first into a trap.

I had no illusions of coming out of whatever horrors awaited me unscathed. If I had learned anything from my time in this world it was that the universe demanded equal exchange. This body in exchange for thirteen year old Tsukino, the draining of my life force in exchange for Naru's recovery, the burden of Sailor Moon in exchange for Matsuo's life. This for that, quid pro quo, that was how the world worked and no doubt Serenity's future came at an unseemly cost, one I was preparing myself to pay.

At a glance I pretty sure I knew what the price wouldn't be.

It wouldn't be me or my life if Rini was to be believed as Serenity and I were supposedly to have spent a fair amount of time together; plus, I had already paid for this second chance, and I wasn't wasteful. It wouldn't be Mamoru, because otherwise Rini wouldn't be alive, and it wouldn't be Matsuo because I would never allow that, not in a million years (I had not taken up the mantle of Sailor Moon only to have that sacrifice thrown back in my face). It would not be any of these things and yet, for reasons I couldn't explain, part of me remained sure that the price of this would come in the form of life.

A human life.

 _Quid pro quo._

But I wasn't thinking too harshly on that thought, on whether I was truly enough of a monster yet, had fallen far enough, to go through with such an atrocity (and it was an atrocity, to steal life, yet _another_ life, just so Serenity could live). I had no proof of the cost and, at the moment, far bigger concerns to fixate on than a moral dilemma I might never have to face.

One thing at a time.

I was going into this meeting blind, possibly outnumbered and at a severe disadvantage. Hopefully, the Order wasn't my enemy here and that, if this truly was a trap made to lure me in, the one responsible hadn't been lying about Serenity's revival and subsequent rise to the throne. For if that was indeed the case here, if someone was pulling strings and using my _friend_ , her _future_ , to bait me in? Then god help that poor, misguided fool.

Because they would find no mercy in me.

* * *

Half an hour before the meeting, I didn't meet up with Matsuo so much as I ran headlong into his back. A surprised 'oh' left me as he spun and caught me by the arm before I could topple backwards onto the pavement. The movement was so fast and neat that I found myself marveling as the ease of it; months of training with Hajime-sensei and I was never that smooth.

Matsuo blinked. "Usagi-chan."

"Nice catch," I commented, finding my balance once more. His hand fell away, and for moment neither of us said anything, simply watching one another as something weighed between us. It was the type of pause in the air that stirred old fears within me, because I could tell, without knowing quite why, that this moment was important; that a decision was being made.

In the end, he merely smiled and chirped, "Let's get going."

And we did.

I fell into step beside him effortlessly and together we journeyed toward Elysion headquarters. It was a walk spent in silence, a terrible one where I waited for questions Matsuo didn't ask all while straying as far as possible from the pain reflected in his eyes; pain he thought he could hide behind a sunny disposition. He couldn't, and seeing that hurt made me feel as though I was rotting from the inside out. All I could think was _Not this, not this, never this._

We were never supposed to be like this. Matsuo was supposed to be the easy part of ly life, the part that soothed instead of ached. And yet here the two of us were, silently hurting from wounds that had no right to exist.

I didn't know how to fix it.

Everything had become so complicated now, and I didn't know how to bridge this gap between us, how to _fix it_. Part of me was afraid that it couldn't be fixed, because it was no longer Matsuo and I against the world anymore; there was so much more at stake, because now Matsuo had other precious people to protect, to take a stand with and… and I was no different.

Matsuo had the Order of Elysion, and I had Serenity.

If things got ugly… There was no doubt in my mind that the Order of Elysion was important to Matsuo, that it truly meant something and that he dearly wanted to protect it. With the way he spoke of them, of the work they did with such unabashed passion, I would be a fool to not see it. I understood that desire to protect, easily dredging up the fierce, all consuming resolve that had gripped me when my friend had been at the mercy of a monster, pinned beneath a tree and on death's door.

In that moment there had been no lines I wouldn't cross, no amount of blood I wouldn't spill to give him just one more chance (and that's what it all boiled down to, in the end, wasn't it? Second chances- one more day, one more shot, one more moment of happiness). So, I understood, more than he would ever know I understood just how far a person might go to protect what they considered precious. I just wasn't sure where that left us now, given how close to the edge of cataclysmic we were.

I told myself Matsuo would never join the Order if they had ill intentions, if they still carried a grudge against me; Matsuo was good, and noble, and kind, and at the very least he wouldn't be a part of anything insidious. I hoped that was true, because It wasn't just my life on the line anymore, but now the hope of Serenity's freedom as well, and if it ever came down to it, if any in the Order ever decided to take revenge for the damage I had incurred on each and every one of them, I would not go quietly, Matsuo's feelings be damned. The retribution would no doubt be somewhat deserved, as I had not been gentle in my quest for survival, but even so I had no intentions of allowing it.

Perhaps it would never come to that though.

The problem was you just never knew with people.

As we entered the forsaken district and followed down the path of old, half-forgotten sidewalks, I did what I could to prepare for whatever was to come, letting my other worries melt away. This turned out to be a smart move on my end, because as soon as the two of us crossed the threshold into the warehouse, Rei descended on us in her usual righteous indignation.

"You!" She nearly plowed Matsuo over in her quest to reach me, but he nicely sidestepped at the last moment and cleared Rei's path right to me. I gave the traitor a sour look that woefully went ignored as Rei continued, "Why? Why must you always wander off on your own at the least convenient moment? Do I need to commission Ami-chan to have a collar made? Will I have to handcuff myself to you, is that what it's going to take?"

I couldn't help it, I raised a brow. "Kinky. Are you really a priestess?"

There was a choking noise from Matsuo's direction, and Rei went red in a combination of embarrassment and possible rage.

"Every time-" She cut off, forcing a slow, deep breath and flexing her fingers as if to leash that ineffable temper. When Rei spoke again, it was with a simmering gaze and a low voice. "You are an _unprecedented_ pain in my ass, Tsukino. Do you realize that every time you wander off, it causes me grief? You go frolicking down a hallway, and a ceiling falls on us. You prance off to follow a magic gut feeling, and I get impaled by vines. Stop. Wandering. Off."

I paused and considered whether I should mention that _magic gut feeling_ as she so eloquently put it, had been Serenity and, more importantly, her traitorous act; that of which was really to blame for Rei's unfortunate experiences in the Dim Dynasty. In the end it was moot point, because Rei's expression indicated that she was in no mood for semantics or a debate, and that any further action on my part was likely to result in injury, fiery or otherwise.

"Wandering off is wrong and inconsiderate of me, got it. Henceforth, I will be more thoughtful of my actions and how they affect others."

She squinted at me, knowing I didn't intend to stick to my word but unable to call me out on it least she start another argument. "I mean it, Usagi."

"Okay."

"Don't go wandering off on your own at critical moments."

"Of course."

"If you cause me any more trouble, I'll turn you into barbeque."

"Understood."

We stared at one another. Rei pursed her lips, but allowed the matter to slide as I grinned, threw her a wink, and slipped past to examine the place. Now, it had to be said that I understood where she was coming from, that there was a difference between Me-Time and going off on my own recklessly. I got that, it was just that I felt no inclination to follow any orders, especially when it interfered with the agenda I had at work.

Surveying the warehouse, I found that its first floor was relatively empty save for Jadeite, who leaned against the conference table in the center of the open space, looking a bit putout. I swept my gaze past him, examining the two offices to his right. The first had its door open and the light off, signaling that it was not currently in use; the second however, had light shining around the cracks of its closed door. The window looking out into the warehouse was blocked by a set of blinds.

I couldn't hear anything from within, I wasn't close enough, but with the racket Rei and I had made moments prior whoever remained inside was undoubtedly aware of my arrival. That they hadn't seen fit to come out and greet me was telling, in a way. I focused on my hearing, not on the office itself but the warehouse in general and, after a moment, caught noise from the floor above us, a faint thump followed by another. Matsuo had said he worked upstairs… Well, wasn't this a delicious turn of events?

We weren't alone, but for the moment it was just us four. No Mamoru, no Ami, and no Minako; what a pleasant surprise indeed. A beautiful opportunity presented itself to me then, and, never one to miss a possible advantage, I latched onto it gleefully. I turned back to Jadeite and brightened my smile, approaching with silent footfalls; he stilled, likely sensing the beginning of the hunt as I cooed, "Hello, Jadeite; it's been quite a while since we last spoke, hasn't it?"

He eyed me the way one might a feral animal. "Yes, I believe so. I… take it you have been well?"

A hum escaped me. "More or less, I suppose. I have some thoughts that have been plaguing my mind though, some questions that I was hoping you might shed light onto. Why don't we take a stroll about the neighborhood?"

Now, Jadeite didn't blanch, exactly.

He came rather close to it though as my words sunk in and their meaning, along with the subtle threat behind them, imposed upon him. Jadeite leaned back a bit using what little room he had with the table behind him, eyes widening ever so slightly. "Perhaps this could wait, the meeting will start soon."

Yes, it would, and when it did I preferred not to be completely blindsided.

Any information would due.

I could feel two sets of eyes on my back as I released a breathy laugh and leaned in, closing the distance between Jadeite and I until there was only a few inches between us. At the end of things, there was only one concern that needed to be addressed if I was to dive into this meeting and come out of it relatively intact. I fluttered my lashes, peering up at him through them and inquired, too quietly for eavesdropping ears, "That matter… Where do the Generals stand?"

Translation: Did you four tell on me, or was that secret still safe?

He stared down at me in apprehension. "Perhaps we should sit down. There are… matters, I believe we should discuss."

My stomach flipped, gaze turning far less friendly.

He wanted to sit down and do this here, but was it for protection, assurance in numbers, or because my secret wasn't one anymore? If any of them had told… I resisted the urge to growl at Jadeite, burning holes into the General with my stare. I reminded myself that no matter what, I could not be angry or take any sort of petty revenge should I find that any of the Generals had revealed me, even if the thought grated.

The choice had always been theirs.

I had promised that, and I would not go back on my word, would not punish the Generals or hold the meaning of the silver crescent moons adorning their brows over them. This was a world where hardly any of us had ever been given the chance to make our own decisions. Mamoru, without memories, had become so plagued by dreams of the past that he had ended up turning into a vigilante. Then the Sailor Scouts, dragged away from ordinary life by a millennia old duty that by all right should no longer apply to them. Jadeite and the rest of his troop- they'd been given perhaps the worst hand out of us all, having been brainwashed and enslaved to Beryl and that heinous bitch Metaria

Having a choice was something we all deserved.

And right then, I smothered my ill feelings and made a choice of my own. "I don't want to sit."

I didn't back an inch, and Jadeite shifted uncomfortably. "Are you quite sure?"

"Yes."

He sighed, as though I were being difficult, which I might have been but that wasn't the point. "There is no easy way to say this so I will not mince my words."

Not a promising start.

"When we awoke on the battlefield, in the aftermath of Queen Metaria's defeat," Jadeite began quietly, "My Prince and the Sailor Scouts had regained their past memories of the Silver Millennium and their previous lives."

The silence that descended was a stunned one.

I blinked sedately, "Pardon?"

But Jadeite didn't reply; instead, he gave me a pitying look and I turned to Rei, then flashing back to Jadeite in order to avoid her hard stare. A horrid, nauseating feeling swept through me like a cold sweat and my throat began to close up as a voice in my head whispered, _Thief, imposter, parasite._

God, what did they know?

What did they suspect?

The fear must have shone through my gaze, because without prompting Jadeite murmured, "Forgive me, but with the issues this brought forth I was forced to explain what you had confided in me regarding your past life all those months ago. How Queen Serenity chose you to be the secret guardian of the moon based on your resemblance to her daughter, which is why only a select few were ever made aware of your existence. Rest assured though, I provided them with only the barest of details out of necessity. It is still your story to tell."

It was a good thing my back was to Matsuo at that moment, because my expression went carefully blank at Jadeite's sudden and increasingly confounding words. I replayed them over in my head, uncomprehending or perhaps simply too startled by the implications.

Jadeite had lied.

To his comrades, to his beloved Prince… He had lied.

Was this a trick of some kind?

Rei shifted behind me. "As interested as I am to hear what you have to say, this thrilling tale should probably wait until the others are all here, unless you don't mind repeating yourself twice."

I couldn't tear my gaze from Jadeite to acknowledge her. In that moment, with only about a foot between us and those blue-gray eyes staring back at me with such seriousness, such intensity, Jadeite had my undivided attention. I understood then, just looking at him that yes, this was a trick, but it was not for me. He had flat out deceived the Order, because I had never hinted at any such story, had never even given an explanation or excuse as to my startling resemblance to Serenity. The only question remaining was why; _why_ would Jadeite do such a thing, why would he go to such lengths to keep the others, even his Generals, from making their own unsavory conclusions?

 _Especially_ the Generals.

I knew without having to ask that this was something he had kept from them as well; lies could be rather heavy, and a lie of this proportion would be a burden he would not trust anyone else to uphold. In the end, Jadeite was the one that looked away, almost dismissively as he nodded at Rei and slipped around me to break our stare. I was frozen in place, unable to move as my mind frantically worked to understand this new revelation, screeching _why why why?_

Why had Jadeite helped me?

"You know," Rei cut in, a hand touching the crook of my elbow almost gently. "Since we have some time, why don't we give you a tour? I could show you what I do here, if you'd like."

There was something too… soft, about her tone.

Like she understood and sympathized with the bomb dropped on my head.

It made me want to lash out, or flinch and jerk my arm away, but I didn't. Instead, I schooled my features into something genuine- a mix of wariness, curiosity, and slight fear, and turned to face her. A blank expression was bad, not because of her but because of Matsuo, and it was his presence that spurned me to show some feelings. Sometimes Matsuo could read me like a book , and I couldn't risk him seeing too much this time; blank meant I had something to hide, it was a poker face that would, ironically, out me.

(Oh god, oh god, oh god. I would have to lie in front of him, I would have to lie so convincingly that the one person who knew me best wouldn't be able to see through my bullshit.)

Rei watched me with bright eyes.

I accepted the olive branch extended, the cease fire in the form of her offer and allowed a hesitant half grin to form. "Why not?"

A mischievous tilt of her lips. "Oh, I think you're gonna love this."

* * *

I was _intrigued._

"These are the daily logs," Rei gestured to a thick binder, then to the brown leather journal beside it. "Ami reads the logs and… does whatever it is she does with them –everyone does a daily log and hands it in to her at the end of each week- but I keep a journal as well, just for little things, notes and ideas and whatnot. It's definitely a work in progress, but…"

"It's fantastic." My voice was that of faint awe as I took in the cluttered workspace. Five desks made up the bottom right corner of the warehouse –the cluttered area I had at first thought to be abandoned- and Rei's mini office, and while it wasn't much I couldn't deny the twinge of envy. There was something… homely, comfortable, about the scattered mess; it was chaotic and exactly the type of work I might have loved to delve into myself. Matsuo was a gym teacher, and the others did… well, I didn't know what, exactly, but it wasn't nearly as interesting as Rei's work, that was for sure.

Parapsychology: the study of paranormal and psychic phenomena.

Rei flushed prettily. "It's mostly Jadeite and I working here. I mean, Mamoru pops in every now and then to help out, because of his own ability, but he's sort of all over the place, you know? He works with everyone. Ami offers suggestions, and Matsuo works with us to incorporate our individual abilities into battle strategies or techniques, but mostly it's just Jadeite and I around here. We're hoping to get more people in the future but- well, you'll see when the meeting starts."

I glanced over at the various stacks of paper, humming. "How broad is parapsychology, anyway?"

Beryl had been a sorceress, did that count?

"Very, surprisingly." Jadeite answered. "There are the usual or more commonly known types like clairvoyance, precognition, telepathy, and whatnot. ESP is an umbrella term for pretty much all supernatural abilities. Parapsychology also includes things your mind might not normal jump to, like Aura-reading, retro cognition, channeling, apparitional experiences, and near death experiences."

I stilled and, almost unwillingly, asked, "Oh? So stuff like out of body experiences?"

"Astral projection." Rei clarified, nodding. "Like Jadeite said, it's a broad spectrum, and for the moment only the two of us are working on it."

I forced a few casual breaths, counting to ten. "Why the interest?"

"Well…" She sighed thoughtfully, forefinger tapping against her cheek. "It's an advantage we have, and being someone with ESP, I don't know, I just think it would have been nice to have known more about what I can do earlier, when it mattered most. It also couldn't hurt to find other people like myself, people who don't know what's going on with themselves and could use my help. Someone has got to start somewhere and be the backbone, you know?"

As I considered that, Rei turned to me with a frankly alarming gleam in her gaze. "I could always use another hand, you know, if you're interested. Having ESP isn't a requirement and, well, if having a past life doesn't qualify you then the ability to heal others certainly should."

From behind us Matsuo laughed. "Mamoru is going to kill you, Rei. Well, if Minako doesn't first."

Rei scoffed and I looked between the two of them, uncomprehending. "What do you mean?"

Instead of answering, Rei gave me a brilliant smile. "Usagi, I was thinking, there's a lot you don't know right now, and going into today's meeting… well, I know it's all a bit much to process at once, so if there's anything you want to know beforehand, you can definitely ask me."

I examined her, amusement rising. Now, I could have been wrong here as I didn't have all the context, but it sounded like Rei was trying to gain favor with me.

"Now they're definitely going to kill you." Matsuo said. He turned to Jadeite and lifted a brow. "Are you okay with this?"

The General laughed. "It's my division too."

"Meaning whatever Rei says is in your best interest as well?"

"Probably, yes."

I watched the lot of them, weighing what I had to gain here. "So, are you all going to keep me in suspense or am I supposed to somehow understand what's going on?"

Matsuo parked himself next to me and crossed his arms, huffing in false exasperation. "These two are trying to bribe you."

"Is that right?"

"Mhm, don't fall for it though. You're the new shiny toy, Usagi-chan. When everyone starts sucking up to you, remember I was your best friend first, okay?"

"Hey!" Rei laughed. "You cheat!"

Beside me, my friend smirked and threw an arm around my shoulders, earlier grievances apparently forgotten. "Oh, I'm not taking part in this competition. See, I already _know_ this chick's got my back, and do you know why?"

I grinned up at him, relieved to see genuine warmth in those brown eyes, and responded, "Because we're Sailor Moon and Moon Boy, the most fabulous duo to ever grace the galaxy?"

"Let it die, Usagi."

I blinked up at him innocently, grin widening, and Matsuo slumped, knowing hell would freeze over before I would ever let such comedic gold go. I turned my attention to Rei, who sported an entertained expression as she watched us, and while Jadeite mouthed the word _Moon Boy_ I added, "So then, this talk of bribery. Is there anything I should know here and now, before this accursed gathering?"

A pause.

Then, strangely hesitant, Rei brushed her hair over her shoulder and began rubbing at the back of her neck. "Actually, there's something I wanted to tell you, before the meeting. It's… it's about your family."

My smile ebbed away, and Jadeite cleared his throat, attempting to steer away from the topic. "Perhaps that-"

But Rei was having none of it. "She deserves to know. If it was my family, I'd want someone to tell me."

The General gave a resigned sigh, likely knowing a lost cause when he saw one. "Minako wanted to get through this meeting first."

"You don't mess with a girl's family, Jadeite." Rei snapped. She looked back to me, taking in my now flat expression, and released a nervous laugh. "It's not exactly bad, Usagi."

I swallowed, and didn't even try to sound genial. "Is Ikuko okay?"

My voice was steel, but I couldn't really help it, couldn't bring myself to care when Jadeite cringed and Matsuo tightened his arm around my shoulders. Matsuo… he would have known, and yet he hadn't told me, hadn't mentioned a word. What did that mean? He would have said something if it had been terrible… right?

Or maybe not.

Maybe not, because as far as he understood, as far as he knew the Tsukino Residence was toxic and it drained me, a place where I constantly had to pretend to be someone else, a place where I couldn't seem to breathe easy. That was all true, but not for the reasons he might think; the Tsukino family was a kind one, it was just that I had killed their thirteen year old daughter, had taken her place, and that knowledge haunted me most in their presence. With that in mind, maybe he'd thought it was too sensitive a subject, or that I was better off not knowing.

Perhaps I was.

"She's fine, they're all fine." Rei assured me, then paused. Her gaze flashed over to Matsuo and then back to me in a movement so quick I nearly missed it. "It's just… Well, you see, they think you're away on vacation, visiting sick relatives. In fact, the school thinks so as well."

To her credit, Rei did not flinch away from the hard stare I sent her. "That's funny. I don't recall leaving them with such an impression."

She gave an awkward laugh. "Yeah, that's because when Usa-chan arrived and no one could find you, she may have… hypnotized them into thinking that."

"What."

Neither Rei nor Jadeite seemed to have anything to say to that. As they glanced at each other, clearly unwilling to be the one confronting me with such news, I looked up into Matsuo's eyes, demand clear in my gaze. He didn't even pause or hesitate. "Ikuko told the school you were away. Usa-chan did it of her own accord, but I won't pretend I didn't agree that it was the best option we had then, or the only option for that matter."

I processed this information.

It explained a lot, after some deliberation. That was why the police hadn't been keeping an eye out for me, why I'd been mostly free from pursuit during my travels; no one had even known to look for me in the first place. Not because I meant nothing, but because they knew no better. Did I thank Serenity's child, or threaten her away from the Tsukino residence and instill the fear of god into her for having the nerve to take such liberties? Ikuko was a kind woman, and I didn't like her getting involved with any of this; the Tsukino family deserved some peace, some normalcy, and they wouldn't get that if Rini was around.

I concluded that something would have to be done about that, and then moved on. "You said I could ask you anything, right Rei?"

"I… yes."

I nodded, more to myself than anything, and decided on my next line of questioning. "Would you mind telling me about what you remember from your past life, now that you have the memories?"

How in depth were her memories? If I was going to build myself a fake past, I needed to know what the standard was first. Rei scrunched her brows, but followed through with my request. "Sure, I guess. I'm not really sure where to start though."

I began to tell her anywhere would be fine only to be interrupted as the warehouse door opened and in walked Minako, Kunzite, and Mamoru, each looking disheveled and slightly out of breath. I thought to ask what got them looking that way, but dismissed the idea as the trio locked in on me when a scrutinizing intensity I usually only ever received from Mamoru. I paused, held each stare, and began to wonder whether it was too late to hop on a train when Minako, in an unholy booming voice, shouted, "MEETING TIME, PEOPLE."

I may have jumped.

Her method worked well enough though, because soon that office door was opening and Ami and Naru showed themselves. The sound of metal clanging caught my attention and I glanced across the warehouse to see Makoto hopping down the industrial staircase, skipping every other step. Behind her Zoisite and Nephrite followed at a more sedate pace, the two quietly speaking about something. Nephrite's steps were oddly exaggerated in a way that made him bounce, and I didn't understand why until I spotted the grinning face and splash of pink hair just over his shoulder.

My mind was assaulted by the unsettling image of a doting older brother with Nephrite's irritating face and I had the sudden urge to wipe that grin off his face.

I guess I was still a bit sensitive about our first interaction.

Matsuo used the arm around my shoulder to guide us toward the table, giving a sheepish grin at my startled features. "You get used to the noise, eventually."

"Good grief, where does that volume come from?"

He laughed. "Minako-chan is ninety percent righteous passion, and ten percent girl."

I said nothing to that, smothering my disappointment at being interrupted just when things were turning in my favor. I'd just have to make do with what information I'd gotten. It was a good start, I supposedly, though how it would all be of help to me in the next hour or so I wasn't entirely sure.

I'd figure it out.

I would make it work, for Serenity and for myself.

* * *

It seemed we were in the beginnings of a routine here.

I sat at one end of the table, Matsuo to my left, Mamoru to my right, and Minako took her place at the other end. There were no longer clear lines between the Sailor Scouts and the Generals, now they were truly one people, the Order of Elysion. To Minako's left sat Kunzite, and to her right Ami; the only General near Mamoru was Jadeite, though that might be a matter of limited seating. Observing Jadeite as he glanced at his Prince, partially hidden adoration in his gaze, something seemed to click.

Finally, it made sense, a breathless whisper of _Oh, of course._

I could have laughed.

Obvious, it was so unbelievably obvious that I was slightly embarrassed for having not seen it until now. My musings led me to glance back to the blond General, understanding washing over me like a cool breeze on a blistering day. Of course Jadeite's lie wasn't something he had done for me, to repay me for having saved him from a terrible existence. No, because in the end, it was never about Jadeite or me; from the very beginning, I had only succeeded in receiving the first General's silence that day by mentioning how exposing who he thought I was would affect a certain person.

Jadeite was doing this for Mamoru.

The details were vague or nonexistent; I didn't know the how's or why's, only that, in some way, this lie of his was to protect Mamoru. It was the only reason I could think of to explain why he would lie to his Prince, to the other four Generals, and to all of the Order of Elysion. Upon receiving the memories of their past lives everyone would have known there was something not quite right about my supposed past; Jadeite had given me a warning and an out for the sake of Mamoru.

My gaze flickered over to him, and in that moment I couldn't help but envy Mamoru, envy what he had; such deep and pure unwavering loyalty, the kind people wrote tales and poems of. Did he even know what it was that he had?

Something in me ached at the thought.

I wanted-

Minako cleared her throat. "Before we proceed, Usagi, I understand you have some… questions. However, before we get to that I was hoping to give you a run own of what it is we do and our purpose first. Does that sound agreeable to you?"

I motioned to her. "Be my guest."

Next to Minako, I noticed Ami's head was bent over a large notebook in which she scribbled something down as Minako began. "From what we have learned, the Order of Elysion is the… foundation, if you will, of the future society of the Crystal Empire. At this point it time our goals are simple: restore the Moon Princess, maintain order in the supernatural world, and provide security not only for the normal civilians, but for those with paranormal abilities as well. Currently we operate mostly in Tokyo, but I hope to change that going forward."

As Minako paused to take a breath, I jumped in. "Mostly, meaning the Order has done work outside of Tokyo?"

Kunzite gave an elegant shrug. "There have been one or two cases of interest that we were unable to dismiss. So yes, we have investigated outside of Tokyo once or twice."

I filed that information away as Minako continued. "According to what we know, in the near future you will reunite us with Princess Serenity, and hopefully with the final member in place we will finally be able to begin our true work."

"Your true work?" I echoed. "Which would be?"

"Building a better future." Minako's tone took on a quality of that righteous passion Matsuo had mentioned minutes before. "Widening our influence and going public, giving those with abilities, those belonging to the supernatural aspect of this world, a voice, a guarantee of safety from persecution. However, in order for any of this to become a possibility, the Order of Elysion needs one more thing; it needs you, Usagi."

My breath caught in my throat. "Pardon?"

A grim smile cut across Minako's face. "We need you to be a part of the Order, Usagi, and I don't just mean for a short period of time. From what I understand, Sailor Moon was an active part of the Order, working together with Princess Serenity and the other members to create this future. It's the type of work that takes years and years to accomplish, something you would theoretically need to commit yourself to."

There was a pause at the table as I waited for her to retract her statement, to laugh it off, only Minako never did. She met my eyes straight on and her stare never wavered, not once.

She was mad, out of her god damn mind. _Join them?_ And- the words sunk in further, reminding me of something Matsuo had mentioned last night. I stilled, recounting the things they'd said, their actions; it was crazy to even think of the possibility, though it'd been there the whole time, staring me in the face, but… "You make it sound like… like you guys are trying to form some type of- of political party or _government_. I mean, being in a cult is one thing, fighting evil and whatever, but this…"

No one denied it, and I nearly choked on my astonishment.

This wasn't some kind of Power Rangers dream team being built here; these people were trying to form a political party and _actually conquer the world_. They were insane, and something in me seemed to break. "I can't- this isn't the damn revolution! Why the hell- no, wait, more importantly, who would agree to this? The world is fine the way it is, what do you people expect to gain here, what do you expect me to do? Write up a Constitution or some kind of Declaration of Independence for supernatural Japan?"

Minako's eyes brightened; before she could get a word out, I jabbed a finger in her direction and snapped, " _No_."

"We need you." Ami's voice broke through the quiet, to my surprise. Her eyes held that same seriousness, though no anger as I might have expected to see. "Perhaps it is not ideal, but… so far, everything has happened exactly as we were told it would. Sailor Moon is supposed to be part of the Order of Elysion; along with a few others, she's supposed to help advise the Princess and provide training for her eventual reign. From your reaction last night, I'd say you hold some affection for our Moon Princess."

"Is that so?" I assessed her openly, not bothering with pretenses. Ami was always difficult to predict; as I last recalled, she felt rather strongly about what I had done to them, and by strongly I meant violently. I had figured she would be opposed to this, and yet here Ami was, acting the complete opposite. Something had changed in her since our last actual interaction. My mind wandered back to Beryl's throne room, conceding that the experience had not been a kind one. "Then tell me, Ami: why do you think my advice would be so critical to your Princess?"

Ami didn't bat an eye at the challenge in my tone. "If the Future reputation of Sailor Moon is to be believed, then you will be a vital part in assuring that the Order of Elysion and the Moon Princess remain standing to continue our work. We're going to make a lot of enemies and anger a lot of people with what we're attempting to do here; that fact is indisputable, not matter how you look at it."

I didn't even try to tamper down my disbelief. "Setting that reputation aside, does anyone honestly believe, do you truly think there's anything I myself could do about that, that the rest of you couldn't?"

I swept my gaze across the table, noting the inquisitive or uncomfortable looks. There was something… weighed, here; something different about this topic that left me with the feeling that I was missing some dear information. No one else appeared to have an answer, or perhaps they were unwilling to put one forth. In the end, it hardly mattered because after a moment Ami answered me.

"Before our group even had a name, you swept our feet out from under us, seven to one." There was no malice, no resentment or scorn as she spoke, only the bare truth. Ami was looking at the facts without bias, putting aside any misgivings for the sake of the Order. It was, in my opinion, part of what truly made her so lethal. "Before that, you took down a General and a Youma that the Sailor Scouts struggled to hold our own against, and you did it in a matter of moments. When the Dark Kingdom took you hostage, Usagi, and we set out to rescue you, none of us knew what we would find once we got there."

She laughed then, a single, genuine sound that stunned me. "I expected torture, to find you in shackles and broken, or maybe even dead. By the time Rei-chan found you though, it was the complete opposite; you'd bested the last two Generals and had been on your merry way out of there, having already saved yourself without our help. So to answer your question, _yes_ , I truly believe you have something to bring to the table. What that is exactly, I couldn't say, only that it's certainly something the rest of us do not currently possess."

That shut me up.

 _Until I inevitably die a tragic death_ , I wanted to scream the words, throw them in her face, but there was no point because none of them would ever understand. A thousand years from now, everyone here was going to be alive, everyone except for me; all these self-sacrificing nuts were going to get the chance to live long, full lives, so how could they possibly understand the way I felt? There was only one kind of death awaiting me, the only kind ever afford to those with legacies, those who became legends. My death would come in the heat of battle, probably forced to fight because as always the choice wasn't mine.

My death was going to be brutal, painful, and worst of all, as Sailor Moon.

The one person here that wanted nothing to do with this twisted revolution, this creation of a perfect world, and it was me that would somehow end up paying with my life for it.

What utter bullshit.

"You people never learn, do you?" Why was it so god damn hard to understand that I was a coward, and that I didn't care about the rest of the world? A thought had been lingering in the back of my mind for some time now, and faced with this proposition, that thought bloomed into what was the most likely truth here. The Destroyer was a fake, something Serenity had come up with to tell her daughter about Sailor Moon.

Nothing more than rose tinted lies for the sake of my apparent memory.

It had to be, because what else could she have told her child about the infamous Sailor Moon that would have been even close to the truth? What child wanted to grow up knowing her namesake was a coward, a selfish girl that stepped over others for her own survival, that had such poor ethics and so little care for the world around her that despite knowing the pain she had caused, she would do it all over again if given the chance? Because I would; without a doubt, I'd make the same choices if only for the security in knowing that I would survive, that Matsuo would survive.

Matsuo was alive, I hadn't come out too badly and now Serenity might get a body.

I didn't give a damn about anything else.

"That was a nice speech, but that isn't the kind of logic that could ever convince me to join up." My head tilted at I surveyed the lot of them. "I don't make decisions without first having all the information; it's how I've kept myself alive and relatively safe so far. If you're going to sway me then you'll have to be more detailed about what it is I'd be going up against here."

"Oh," Luna interrupted rudely, leaping onto the table. "I think we've given you enough information for the moment. There are other matters that need discussing, likely more than can be covered in a single meeting. However, now that you're here, Tsukino-san, I would be very interested to hear an explanation from you."

I raised a brow. "I'm afraid you'll have to be more specific."

I ignored the chill that went up my spine as she stalked toward me, feline gaze locked on my form. Such a little thing, and yet somehow as Luna stared me down I sincerely began to feel like prey; little more than a mouse between her claws. Despite being a cat, her expression conveyed smugness as Luna responded, "Specifically? For starters, your whereabouts during the Silver Millennium; after that, an answer as to your uncanny resemblance to the Moon Princess and, finally, the reason why, despite knowing that you were out there, neither myself nor anyone else here can ever recall even hearing of Sailor Moon in the past."

I could feel my lip curling in reaction to the hostile tension that began to permeate the air around us. "Forgive me, I didn't realize I had to explain myself to any of you."

The sharp edge in Luna's gaze said that I well and truly did.

There would be no avoiding this, no changing the subject least I make myself look guilty or like I had something to hide. I racked my brain, recalling the few words Jadeite had said about having been vague on details; I would have to do the same, would have to allow their minds to fill in the blanks. I steeled myself, knowing that I would have to put on the performance of a lifetime to ensure no one, not even Matsuo, would see through me. Then I did what I did best.

Cautiously lied through my teeth.

"No one remembers Sailor Moon from their past lives because that was the way Queen Serenity wished it to be; to the extent of your and anyone else's knowledge, such a person never existed." Maybe it was a mistake to run on Jadeite's lie, but I had little other ideas to work with at the moment. I brought forth the feelings of bitterness for my life here, letting it color my voice. "Sailor Moon was handpicked by the Queen for a very special task, and in the end only a handful of people ever knew of her existence, Princess Serenity later becoming one of those people. Sailor Moon was a… failsafe, her function was best served from the shadows."

Old feelings dredged up, my experience that first horrific day and the terrifying moments afterward bleeding into my expression and tone as I continued. "My awakening was not like everyone else's, it… ruined me, in ways none of you can understand. My memories of before and then of the early years of this life, they mixed and twisted, and now I am neither my past life nor the girl that grew up here."

Naru picked her head up at that sentence, finally watching me.

I was treading on thin ice here, a truth in the midst of lies. "When the Queen used the Silver Crystal… I'm not supposed to be here. Every single one of you, your reincarnation was fate and it was meant to happen by her will; mine wasn't. Something went wrong, don't ask me what because I honestly don't know. All I can confirm is that I died, and I should have stayed dead."

No one said anything for a moment.

"…This function," Mamoru murmured quietly, intense blue gaze on my own. "What was it?"

I stared at him. "What other use is there for a doppelgänger of the Crown Princess that no one knows to exist?"

That shut him up; in fact it shut all of them up as they contemplated the possibilities with growing horror. I waited for Luna to bare her teeth at me, to rip me a new one after slandering Queen Serenity's name, for if the woman was anything it was kind and just. Only, strangely enough, Luna didn't; a look I couldn't place came over her and the cat turned away from me, padding back to the other end of the table.

For now, no one was calling me out on the lie.

That didn't mean they all believed me one hundred percent, but no one was voicing suspicion and frankly, that was good enough for me. I'd visit Serenity later and surely between the two of us we would come up with something solid.

"That was a conveniently unclear answer, Tsukino-san." Luna said, though this time there wasn't much fire behind her words, as though she was saying it simply because the words needed to be spoken by someone.

"I don't owe you an explanation." I hissed. "I owe you people _nothing_. I paid my dues, and anyone that thinks otherwise can go right to hell."

I thought that would be the end of it when, upon reaching the other end of the table, Luna sat and said resignedly, "Very well. What of the Moon Princess, then? And the Silver Crystal?"

I paused, muscles locking up.

"Oh, yes," Luna murmured knowingly, "We're all aware that the Silver Crystal is in your possession, and has been for some time now."

Artemis leapt onto the table, the two cats becoming pillars on either side of Minako. His stare, while not harsh, was gently disapproving. "The Silver Crystal is property of the Royal family and belongs in the hands of the princess. If she is indisposed or unable to safe keep it, then it is supposed to be guarded by the Sailor Scouts; those are the laws of the Moon Kingdom, Tsukino-san, laws that we are all bound to abide by. At some point, you will have to hand it over so that we may secure it."

The expression on Luna's face stated her thoughts so clearly that they needn't be spoken aloud. Luna was of the opinion that the Silver Crystal was already in the hands of the last person she'd want it in. All civility fled from me at the thought, and I forced my features into something carefully blank, shoving back panic and my urge to bolt or maim. I couldn't freak out, couldn't give them reason to think I would resist so violently at this point in time, not when I didn't know if I could take the lot of them if need be.

It didn't have to come to that though, not yet.

Not if I played my advantage. "Serenity is safe, for the time being. I've managed to make contact with her a few times, but it is no easy task and neither of us have the proper means to maintain anything long term."

That seemed to distract a few of them.

"You've made contact?" Makoto braced her palms against the table. "What does the Princess have to say? Is she well?"

I made to reply but Rei was already speaking, shooting questions at me with alarming intensity. "How did you do it? Is there any way we can speak with her, can you make contact now?"

"No- look, that's not how it works." I stifled a sigh. "It isn't something I can do on the fly, okay? Serenity… she's okay, for now, but her energy is drained, and that complicates things. I've been working on bringing her back, but I'll need the Silver Crystal. Serenity thinks it could be vital to her return so you understand I won't be handing it over willy nilly just yet."

Minako narrowed her gaze. "How did you do it, though; how did you find her and manage to speak with the Princess? If I recall, you said she was out of our reach, so just where is she?"

"That's none of your concern." At her irked look, I added firmly, "The Princess came to _me_ , alright? It wasn't you, or Luna, or anyone else, but me. I won't endanger her by freely handing over everything I know. Should Serenity give her consent, I'll share my knowledge, but not before then, and not until it's somewhat safe to do so."

A bold faced lie, but they didn't know that.

I couldn't risk it though, couldn't risk one of these idiots trying to get Serenity out of the Silver Crystal only to somehow do her harm or make it more difficult. Plus, I wasn't willing to hand it over anyway, and I didn't see why I should spit out my astral projection theory, especially without hard evidence backing it. I could read the outrage forming on a few faces in the room, could taste the building argument between us, but I held firm, refusing to back down.

The backlash I expected did not come though, and somehow that worried me most.

No, instead Minako's expression cleared, and before anyone could decide to take a bite out of me, she nodded, "Okay."

The other Scouts turned to her in indignant disbelief, while the rest of us just watched Minako in what could only be labeled as collective shock. That is, everyone with the exclusion of Kunzite, who somehow managed to look regal in the mundane act of just sitting there. He was lounging back against the chair, Cheek resting against a closed fist and an elbow propped on the armrest, looking for all the world a prince shirking his duties. Kunzite watched Minako with a spark of amusement in his lidded gaze, and a hint of anticipation that told me he didn't know what she was up to either. That was… striking, the knowledge that no one else seemed to have any idea what Minako was doing.

Minako raised her hand to stop anyone from speaking.

"This is not the time to bicker and debate." She swept her gaze over each person at the table, coming to a stop on me. "I can understand why you might be hesitant to reveal any information, Usagi. Trust is not easy coming, and it isn't a given right but a privilege afforded to those that have earned it. I won't lie, I do plan on gaining your trust, and eventually, hopefully, your comradery as well."

Minako paused, addressing the others now. "Usagi isn't like us, and if this is going to work then we can't expect the same things out of her as we had with one another. Before the Order of Elysion, we were two separate groups, and in the Silver Millennium we belonged to two separate kingdoms. Even at the very beginning, we all had someone to fight with and fall back on, reliable relationships built over time. Usagi, however, has never had that."

Gee, thanks.

"She has been working on her own the entire time." Minako continued, rubbing salt into the wound. "First in the Silver Millennium, and then again here. Usagi was the first to regain her memories, the first to truly understand the danger around us, and she has been working to deal with it on her own. I think, given her circumstances, it would be unfair of any of us to push her for vital information without any pre-established trust. After all, in her position would we all not act the same?"

As the Order of Elysion considered that, I couldn't help but comment, "That's a generous outlook."

Across the table, she shrugged in answer. Still, something about her words didn't sit well with me; it wasn't in an insidious or deceptive way, just… I don't know. It was like getting undeserved praise from a rival or enemy, I didn't understand the thought process behind her words, and it unnerved me. Surely there was some underneath I wasn't seeing, some double-edged sword I had failed to spot. In fact, this entire talk was unnerving, and I wasn't sure I could take much more.

Perhaps it was time to wrap things up then.

I turned to Rini –sat comfortably in Nephrite's lap- intent on getting this meeting over with so that I could leave and focus on more important things, like keeping my sanity. Rini was the main factor here, the issue needing to be resolved if I was ever to move on from this madness. Either she had ulterior motives, she was being manipulated by someone else, or she was just a kid with poor ideas and little thought as to the things she said and their impact.

I moved to speak, and of course that was the moment my day became even worse.

There was a bright flash of light above us and a folded piece of paper appeared out of thin air; as though drawn in by magnetic forces, it fluttered down onto the table not six inches from me. The warehouse was dead silent, and not a single person moved as we collectively stared at the folded paper, yellowed with age. I don't know what compelled me to do it, probably the fact that the paper was obviously meant for me, but somehow I found myself slowly reaching out, and taking it.

I examined the cream color, the texture of the paper –thick and reminiscent of a book you might find in ye olden times, not the smooth, crisp pages from books these days- and, upon turning it over, noted the printed number at the bottom. Unfolding it once revealed a torn, jagged side, and after a second I realized the paper was actually a page from a book, and that it'd been ripped out. One more fold revealed the paper entirely, its printed words and the hand written message under it.

My heart stopped; they were both in English, the first part a poem.

A poem I knew well, from a time far passed.

 _You are,_

 _I think,_

 _An evening star,_

 _The fairest of all stars. -Sappho_

Below that, in golden, elegant script, someone had written out,

 _Arrogance clouds the mind and far too often it appears that the right questions remain woefully unasked. Do try to use that brilliant brain of yours every now and then, won't you?_

* * *

I stared, reading and rereading the text, then the handwritten note below, as though if I read it enough times the paper would perhaps begin to make even a miniscule amount of sense. However, it remained nonsense each time, registering in my mind but not connecting. Even the mental alarm bells seemed stupefied, a dull echo that felt unimportant in the face of the note itself.

What fresh hell?

Matsuo leaned over in his seat to read the note after a good minute, and thoughtlessly I tilted it his way, giving him better view of the words. Perhaps I should have hidden it, but the damn thing had popped out of thin air in front of everyone. He furrowed his brows and, after a moment, sheepishly admitted, "English isn't my strong suit. Mamoru and Minako are more adept at the language though; maybe they can translate it."

I gave him a long, insulted look, and read the words in their entirety aloud.

English had been one of my better subjects at the middle school; you' think he would have remembered that. Minako got up from the table and came over to stand between me and Mamoru as I laid the paper out and allowed them to read. Her gaze rove over the page, assessing, before falling onto me with a gleam that did not sit well. "Say, do languages interest you?"

It was an odd question. I looked at the note, considering. "I suppose they do, a little bit."

"What about Latin?" Minako asked, far too casually. My eyes jumped back to her, and I couldn't help the way my body seemed to still. Latin, why would she ask me that? I did happen to know a decent amount of the dead language, having taken the class as one of my electives in college.

A coincidence?

Was anything in my life ever so?

"…Yes." I conceded quietly, warily. "I do know a small amount of Latin. I'm rather curious to hear how, exactly, _you_ would know that though."

No one should have known, not even Matsuo or Serenity, because I had never told a soul. It hadn't ever felt relevant or worth mentioning, just another part of a life I no longer lived. Minako hummed, sharing a look with Ami and then the rest before turning back to me. The words flowed through her lips expertly, as though she'd known them her whole life, "Hinc itur ad astra; can you tell me what that means?"

 _Hinc itur ad astra_ , I thought, racking my brain to recall a language I hadn't studied in nearly a year. It took me a minute to weave the proper translation together, but when I was sure I had it, I replied, "From here the way leads to the stars?"

"The adage of the Order of Elysion." Matsuo supplied helpfully. I turned my attention to him, wondering why on earth any of this mattered. He seemed to read my thoughts, because Matsuo gestured toward Rini, saying, "One of the many things we learned from Usa-chan. You just tied the loose end up nicely, is all."

Ah. I had just given them further proof that Rini spoke the truth.

Lovely.

However, as I reread the handwritten note one more time before folding the paper back up and tucking it into my coat pocket, that answer didn't sate me. No, looking up at that glint in Minako's gaze, I knew that the girl had something else up her sleeve; something she might not have shared with Matsuo or the rest of them. After all, there was a good reason why, out of everyone here, I considered her to be the most dangerous. A million questions regarding her, that phrase, and the note bombarded me, but one look at the Order told me they were just as clueless as I was.

 _Right questions_ , it said; meaning whoever had written it was telling me I wasn't asking the correct questions?

Which question was the right one though, and moreover, who sent it?

Too vague, it was too vague. I smothered my annoyance and cast the thought away; I wasn't about to put stock into a creepy little anonymous note. "I think I'd like to leave off here. It's been a long few days and apparently there's quite a lot to consider. Until tomorrow?"

"That works." Minako hummed. With a stretch, she announced the meeting adjourned and moved to the first office, sparing one last glance at the note in my pocket as Mamoru and Kunzite rose to join her. Seats were abandoned or exchanged as a few of the others began to talk amongst themselves. I stood and was readying myself to leave when my gaze collided with Naru's. I paused in my movements and, after a moment of contemplation, figured this was a conversation long overdue.

Resigned to another confrontation, I gestured to the second office and, addressing her for the first time in eleven weeks, said the dreaded words, "Let's talk."

* * *

A/N

 **Go, read the next chapter!**

BUT! ALSO!

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	20. Chapter 20

A/N

 **Two chapters guys.**

I posted **two chapters** in the span of an hour, so make sure you all read **Chapter 19** first otherwise this is going to be absolutely **no sense** whatsoever.

On a side note, I don't know why but sometimes my computer insists that a word I write isn't actually a word, and then I'm forced to go on a damn quest across the internet to make sure it is actually a word, which is irritating. Withstand is, apparently, not a word in my snobbish computer's opinion.

Disclaimer: We all know Sailor Moon isn't mine. RotM is though.

* * *

With stiff shoulders Naru led me into the same office she had occupied earlier.

I brushed off the heated stares drilling into my back and followed her in, shutting the door behind me and leaning back into it. I took a moment to study Naru and the office, recalling what Matsuo said about the work she and Ami did. To be fair, the room definitely looked like it belonged to Ami, with bookcases filled to the brim taking the entire back wall. Under the window that viewed out into the warehouse was a long table with a printer or some kind of fax machine. Two desks adorned opposite walls of the room, one with tidy stacks of paper, notes books, and binders, and the other a bit more chaotic, though not to the degree of Rei's work area.

No, this one was more… personalized.

There were a couple of papers pinned to the wall above the desk, with printed lettering too small to make out from here. The desk itself was strewn with a thin layer of papers, one or two crumpled up, and buried under two thick books and an open file. There was a little potted cactus decorating the far corner of the wooden desk and the waste bin next to it was overflowing with even more balled up paper. This was the workstation Naru floated over to, quickly closing the file and tucking it into the top drawer (though not before I caught what I thought was a small picture of two people).

In the silence she began to organize the tiny chaos of her desk.

I allowed her a moment, gathering my thoughts and counting to twenty before I could take the silence no longer. I cleared my throat. "Looks like you've really made a niche for yourself here, huh?"

Naru paused in her movements, and though she didn't turn to me I knew she was listening as I continued, "Part of me is surprised, and yet at the same time I can't help but feel it isn't all that much of a shock, really. I mean, you were always good at fitting in, and making friends; why would this be any different?"

Naru sat down into her chair and turned to face me.

"Well," She began softly, sweetly, "Most of us had a lot to bond over. You know, what with being on the blunt end of your plots. Lies, betrayal, it really managed to bring us closer together."

A rueful smile graced my features, but I made no move to deny it or defend myself. Naru wasn't wrong, and I wasn't going to pretend I had any right to indignation over her words. Every decision of mine that had hurt her, hurt them, had been carefully considered and made with the knowledge of what the consequences would be; I had done cruel things in the name of survival and I would not shy away from that fact.

"…How could you?" Naru's gaze was penetrating, demanding. With curled fists, white knuckles, and a clenched jaw, she plowed forward unwaveringly. "How could you use me like that? How _dare_ you, what right did you have to do that, to comfort me during my weakest moments, let me cry on your shoulder, and then turn around and _use me_ like a tool when it suited you?"

"I-"

"What is _wrong_ with you?" She spat, standing so harshly from her chair that it hit the wall behind her as Naru stalked towards me. "You were supposed to be my friend, my _best friend_ , we grew up together! I thought I knew you, but I don't recognize this person anymore, this Usagi that keeps secrets and steps over everyone else so long as she comes out on top!"

Naru was shouting now, and my body just couldn't seem to move as she stopped before me and yanked me forward by the front of my shirt, snarling face mere inches from my own. It was then that I saw the tears prickling the corner of her eyes.

"Why did you do it, huh? Why did you bother healing me in the hospital if you were just going to stomp all over our friendship afterwards?" Her hands shook, and her voice lowered and broke as she murmured, "Why _me_? There are over a hundred people still in comas from the youma attacks, still in the hospital; why did you heal me and not them? My mother is one of those people… why am I the only one?"

My vision was oddly blurry as the words tumbled out of me. "Because it was my fault."

Naru stilled, grip slackening as her brows furrowed. "What?"

"It was my fault." I echoed quietly. "I knew what was out there, I knew people were going to get hurt, and I chose not to do anything about it anyway. I cared about surviving this nightmare more than I did about saving anyone else the pain of suffering through it. But… but you shouldn't have gotten hurt, that was never supposed to happen and I couldn't stand-"

The words caught in my throat, and I had to look away from her accusing gaze. "…I know what kind of person I am. You were never supposed to have become so involved in this though. When I healed you I thought that would be the end of it but it wasn't, the Sailor Scouts started snooping around, and they just wouldn't let up; I _knew_ they were going to drag you in, and then it was too late to stop them, not without…. revealing myself."

I had tried to ward them off, had tried to keep Naru out of it but everything had escalated so quickly, the Scouts transferred into our class and were suddenly everywhere. By then it was just easier to let them think Naru was the princess; it kept me off the radar, and there had been no way to tell them otherwise without showing my hand.

What had I done?

Just a kid, Naru was just a kid and that night it could easily had ended up with her having been kidnapped by Kunzite and not me. If she had been taken instead… there would have been no coming back from that, no hoping of one day achieving something that would have made that sacrifice worth it. I could make up for what I had done to Serenity, but… there would have been _nothing_ I could have ever done to atone for my actions if it had been Naru taken, because she would have died there.

Naru released me.

"I hadn't even realized it," I rambled quietly, "that I was healing you. I wasn't able to transform into Sailor Moon yet, so when you woke up… I didn't know it had been because of me, not until the Scouts suggested it. I don't even really understand how I'd accomplished it."

Silence.

Naru didn't ask for an apology and I didn't ask for forgiveness.

Forgiveness was for the regretful, and while I did regret Naru's involvement –having hurt and put her in danger- I didn't regret much else. We were both alive because of the decisions I made, bad and good, and so I couldn't say I'd do a thing differently, not when it could have turned out so much worse. So even though I was sorry for causing Naru pain and using a poor situation to my advantage, I would never ask for her forgiveness.

Because I would continue to stand by my actions.

She seemed to see that too.

For a moment neither of us spoke, and I realized there wasn't anything left to say. We each knew where the other stood and there was no going back from the mess I made. Part of me didn't mind that so much; it meant the truth was out in the open between us, and I didn't have to be anyone other than myself anymore. I looked at Naru then, taking in the anger and sadness of her expression and as twisted as it was…

I was relieved.

It was, perhaps, the worst part of all.

I walked out of the office and shut the door behind me, leaving Naru and the confrontation behind. After a stern glance from Rei, I promised Matsuo I'd meet him back at his apartment, and he seemed to understand my need for space at the moment. No one stopped me as I took my leave, and I scuttled away before any of them decided to think better of it.

I needed fresh air, and some quiet.

* * *

 _What is wrong with you?_

The words cut sharply though me, echoing over and over again in my head with every step I took. There was no outrunning this, but I kept walking because it wasn't about trying to avoid her words or pretend they didn't sink into me with the ease of a dagger. I walked because I had to, because stopping, staying in place, that would have been akin to death. It would trap me in that dark place I lovingly referred to as my mind, where I would stagnate, stuck under the weight of my own thoughts.

So I kept walking, kept moving forward.

 _What is wrong with you?_

I already knew what was wrong with me. I'd known it for a long, long time and surely I'd come to terms with it. No, I _knew_ I had. I knew what kind of person I was, had acknowledged the implications, consequences, and then went on with my life. Why did Naru's words bother me? They didn't, not really; it wasn't the words that trailed me, but the tone of voice, the expression worn as they were said.

I was selfish. This world had demanded a price for continued survival and I had willingly paid it time after time. If there was a heaven, I would not be getting in and that was fine, that was the least of my worries. I did unkind things with the clarity of what my actions meant and how they would affect other people. What Naru said, it didn't bother me and I wasn't going to lose sleep over it. What I likely _would_ lose sleep over, however, was the raw emotions I'd seen during our talk. Accusation was fine, hate I could live with, betrayal…. It left a bad taste but I'd stomach it all the same.

It was that pure, unadulterated _hurt_ that somehow jarred me.

Of course, I hadn't ever actually been confronted by any of the people I had cast aside before. The Order of Elysion hardly counted. I mean, yeah, I'd wronged them, but those might as well have been love taps in comparison to the more heinous decisions I'd made (leaving countless to rot away in hospitals, stealing a thirteen year old girl's body and erasing that part of her from existence, snatching Serenity's second chance at happiness, Living with the family of the girl I'd sort of killed, putting a middle schooler in severe danger by making her a decoy, etc.).

The point was, though I had caused many direct suffering, none of those people had ever had the chance to hold me accountable. Serenity had pretty much forgiven me the moment we met, and the Tsukino family didn't know their daughter was an imposter.

Naru hadn't deserved it.

I had not deserved to die the way I had, in a tiny dorm room a state away from my family. I hadn't deserved to find myself in this nightmare world, decades away from modern technology and stripped of the only life I had ever known. I had never done anything so horrendous to deserve this fate, to be completely alone in a foreign world with knowledge I could never speak of and people that would never truly understand me. I hadn't deserved _any of this_ , and neither had Naru.

Neither had Naru.

I shouldn't have done it, I shouldn't have left her to be attacked –and I had, part of me had known that was coming at some point- I shouldn't have let her rot in a hospital bed for months, shouldn't have used her and let her think any of us could be trusted. In truth, I could have protected Naru, I could have saved her such pain a dozen times over had I been inclined.

But I hadn't.

The choices had already been made, and now I had to live with them.

I was in the midst of contemplating how I was going to do that when someone cleared their throat behind me, and a familiar prickling sensation sharpened at the back of my neck. Sort of like it had been there the entire time, and I was only now noticing it. I paused in my steps, slowing to a stop and turned to meet intense blue eyes.

"Bit cold for a walk." Mamoru said conversationally.

I hummed. "I thought it might clear my head."

"Ah," He nodded, features arranged to appear thoughtful, though I got the feeling he was humoring me more than anything. That expression dropped as Mamoru closed the distance between us in a movement that was both graceful and hesitant. He sighed, and I watched his breath as it turned to steam in the winter air, curling up between us. "I wanted to talk, if that's alright. We haven't had the chance yet and… a lot's happened."

I studied the way his brows knitted, lips pressed together as though to keep from frowning, the quiet resignation in those ever intense eyes. "Somewhere warm, then."

And just like that those worried ticks cleared from his face.

It was soothing, oddly enough.

Balm for a scorched soul.

* * *

Not much had changed in Mamoru's apartment building in the last eleven plus weeks.

There were a few Christmas decorations up, some twinkly lights from new years, but that was it. He led the way, holding both doors into the building for me and pressing the button for the elevator. Our journey here had been short and in silence; it was a silence that continued as the doors opened up and allowed us entry, closing only when I hit the right floor number.

As we rode up I stared at my reflection in the (overly polished) metal door. Pink nose, chapped lips, and rosy cheeks greeted me. Blonde hair spilled down the back of my coat from the knitted hat I wore (where had I gotten it again? Nagasaki, I thought, but I couldn't be sure.), the golden locks tangled from either wind or that nap I'd taken earlier in the day. Altogether, it was an unflattering look in that it showed just how out of sorts I felt. Something about my eyes was different, something oddly reminiscent of Serenity's own gaze.

An unsettling thought.

I glanced at my companion's reflection and jolted to find him already watching me with an almost curious tilt to his head. Neither of us said anything as the door opened, breaking our gaze. I followed him into the hallway and to his door as he unlocked it and we shuffled inside.

"Tea?" He asked, already heading into the kitchen. I repressed a smile and followed, watching from the archway as Mamoru took out his tea kettle, filled it with water, and set it on the stove like a proper housewife. Then he glanced at me once more, and it was such a heavy look that all amusement died; I turned and wandered away, chest tight. The living room beckoned to me, so I curled up on the couch with my back against the arm, loosely hugging my legs as my cheek pressed into the leather material.

That was how he found me a short while later.

Mamoru paused upon seeing me, an emotion flashing across his face too fast for me to place before it was gone and he was moving again. He set my cup and saucer carefully onto the coffee table and placed himself on the other end of the couch. I watched the steam rise from the teacup, listening as he took a sip of his own tea before setting it down as well. My gaze went to him as Mamoru sighed and leaned forward, elbows resting on his legs.

After running a hand down the side of his face, he turned to me. "I saw Serenity at the Dark Kingdom, during that final battle."

My heart seized. Not Princess Serenity, or the Moon Princess.

Just Serenity.

"You really do remember her, then." I mused.

Deep blue eyes and all their intensity scanned my face, and I stiffened.

The urge to tear my gaze away and flee his apartment came over me then, and I shoved the feeling down. Now that Mamoru remembered, what did he see when he looked at me? I couldn't bring myself to ask the question, unwilling to hear the answer, the implications not only on his side by on mine as well. I reminded myself that it didn't matter what he thought when he looked at this face, didn't matter whether he was really seeing me or not. There were very few things in my life that truly mattered, and this wouldn't be one of them because I just didn't have any room left in my shriveled heart for trivial things.

 _What does he see?_ It left a bad taste in my mouth, and I refrained from snorting in self-disgust.

Classic Usagi. As if this had anything to do with me.

It was about Serenity, as it always would and _should_ be; this was her tragic tale, after all, and I could accept this for a million reasons. Serenity was one of those few things that mattered to me and to be fair I did happen to be the person that had snatched this life from her, taken the Tragic Tale of Serenity  & Endymion and snapped its redemption in two. Serenity was entitled to whatever spotlight she could get, and Mamoru was entitled to look at me and see her.

It was only fair.

"…Yes." The word sounded almost strained. Mamoru looked down, his lips turned up into a small smile though it looked more pained than anything. "I remember all of it, to such an overwhelming degree that sometimes I wish I didn't. I- you know, Matsuo said something to us, a month or so back. We'd all been struggling with our memories, still are. I think that why Minako is so driven by the Order, why she's so hell bent on it. All the people that died in that war, the homes we lost, the future; the _blood_."

His gaze found me then and the complete loss within struck me like a physical blow. I uncurled and leaned forward, wanting to ease that hurting but not knowing how or whether I had any right to. He had to be in such pain, and I couldn't fathom what it must be like, to bear the weight that he now bore with the return of his memories. That war hadn't been Mamoru's fault, but the uprising had begun with _his_ people, _his_ kingdom. As Endymion he had been the Crown Prince, and when his subjects were manipulated and turned against the Moon Kingdom, Mamoru had been there, fighting tooth and nail against the people of earth to protect another civilization.

And he had given his life for that cause.

What was that like, to cut down your kin, your guards and banner men? To stain your hands with the blood of those you'd had a responsibility to protect? There were no words I could offer that would ever suffice. Mamoru appeared to be waiting though, waiting for me to say something, anything, so without thinking I spoke. "It gets better Mamoru, I swear it gets better. What you feel now- it's the weight of a new burden, the weight of a new loss. It doesn't go away, but… you learn to adjust and that's all this is; an adjustment period. This is the hard part, but eventually it will get easier."

Mamoru tilted his head, lips parting slightly as he took me in contemplatively.

"I understand," He began quietly. "why you were- _are_ the way you are, why you acted the way you did. When the Order hit a low point, when we were all still unsure how to even begin coping with this change, Matsuo told us what you'd said to him once. How firmly you believed that none of us should have these memories, that they and the past would be better off forgotten."

"It was for my sake more than anything." Sure, I'd given it a little thought as to how it might impact him, whether it would be a blessing to keep Mamoru in the dark, but mostly it had been for myself.

That intensity strengthened as Mamoru straightened and turned to me fully, one leg hanging off the couch now. My breath caught in my throat at that look, at the gentleness with which he spoke his next words. "You did a good job, Usagi. I mean it, and I want you to know that because I doubt anyone has ever told you, including yourself. The Order of Elysion, we're doing great things and making a difference in the world. You, however, managed to do that all by yourself, and it's incredible.

"I know what it's like to have to work on your own," He murmured, "but I never could have accomplished the things that you did, none of us could have. You faced impossible odds, Usagi, and you succeeded, _survived_. You did brilliantly."

Under his stare, with those words echoing in my brain, I found myself at a loss, struggling to come up with an adequate reply. They were words that had never occurred to me, but I'd needed to hear them said and now that I had I was grateful. I couldn't seem to spit out or express my thanks to him, so instead I cleared my throat. "So… Serenity?"

Mamoru blinked, as though coming back to himself. His lips turned up in a faint smile, and a small, resigned sigh escaped him, but he allowed the change of subject. "It was during the fight with Metaria, if we can really call it a fight. When you became enveloped in that white light-"

"What white light?" I interrupted. Did he mean moonlight?

"At the start of the battle," He said slowly, now looking as equally bemused as I felt. "This white light came out of nowhere and shielded you for a good ten minutes while the rest of us were fighting. I thought you were doing it on purpose, building for that attack."

What?

My mouth opened, and then closed as I considered it; during that fight, time had seemed… fractured, at moments slow or fast or skipping. I hadn't figured out why, hadn't thought up a reasonable explanation and in my time away I'd been too busy not thinking about that miserable day to ponder on it. "What… what else do you remember?"

He tilted his head. "We were down when the light broke. I remember looking up and seeing you- both of you. Serenity- she'd been crying and the two of you were focused on Metaria, on some kind of attack. Whatever it was, it saved us."

I waited, but Mamoru said nothing further.

There was an awkward openness about the end of his sentence, as if Mamoru had been planning to say more but changed his mind at the last minute. Something was there, something else he wasn't saying; I knew there must be, because why else would he bring up Serenity, bring up that battle, to just stop as though we were at the point he'd been trying to make.

I took a shot in the dark. "What did she say to you?"

His eyes, which had been wandering to the window over my shoulder, shot back to me and he stilled.

Bingo.

They had spoken, using whatever time had remained to Serenity after I had passed out; but that had been weeks ago, so why hadn't Serenity mentioned it to me? Did she not trust me, or had the conversation been private enough that she hadn't been comfortable sharing it with me? I wanted to push Mamoru to tell me, wanted to seek Serenity out myself and get the truth from her, but… there were secrets I kept, things I hid from them, so what right did I have to make such demands?

Even if I was dying to know.

"It's okay." My voice was quiet, and though I gave him a soft smile I couldn't quite manage to meet those eyes, so I focused on my hands. "Serenity… your business together is your own. I mean, I get to hog her to myself most of the time anyway, so it's only fair that you get to have your moments too."

Silence descended between us then.

After a minute, I made myself look to him and stifled a flinch at the sorrow in his gaze. Eleven weeks away- it hadn't been enough time, not when there were now new threats stirring, new problems arising. A new seed of fear took root in my core with the knowledge that a whole different game was at play here. This wasn't something I could hand off to someone else and run far away from, not with Serenity at stake. Yet I wasn't recovered from the last disaster, wasn't ready to take on another one.

The Order of Elysion would bring disaster, make no mistake.

What scared me was that it didn't matter that I'd been away for over two months, because it still hadn't been enough, and maybe the amount of time didn't matter in the end, maybe a month or a year or a decade made no difference.

Maybe there was no fixing the damage.

* * *

I never did make it back to Matsuo's apartment that night.

The despair I felt must have been palpable in the air around me, because Mamoru went from silent to a social butterfly, throwing topics my way and using whatever stuck to pull me from that pit and into intelligent conversation. I let him, happy to forget my woes for a little while and talk about anything else. I learned a great deal that night, though most of it was pointless and of little use to me in the long run. I did learn a little about the future, and how Rini came to be here before conversation turned to other things.

We talked about school -Mamoru aced his midterms- and I found out that he was interested in a medical career, and already had a few college interviews and acceptances. We spent a good deal of time on that subject ( "A Prince, Gentleman Thief, Boy Scout, and now a Healer?" I'd teased. "Building up quite the resume, aren't we?"

With the beginnings of a smile he had sent me a look I didn't understand. "In war, being able to heal wounds is just as important as having the skill to inflict them. A person capable of both is someone to be admired, in my opinion."

"How noble of you to say.")

At some point I found myself broaching the subject of Rini, and Mamoru was kind enough to inform me of what he knew- The Black Moon Clan had attacked Crystal Tokyo three times and failed miserably. The fourth time ended in success when, before the attack, the Silver Crystal disappeared and the Queen was unable to fight them off- and then his thoughts on the matter. "As impossible as it seemed, Usa-chan was right every single time; it became hard not to believe her, you know?"

Despite Mamoru's initial disbelief, Rini had more than proved herself, and he was of the opinion that the Order had a responsibility to help the child, if only because she had come to them for aid. I thought it might be more than that. Rini had provided them with the idea for the Order, thereby giving them something to latch onto in the wake of what was no doubt a difficult time for everyone.

Though I don't remember it happening, eventually the two of us must have drifted off, because the next thing I knew, daylight was filtering in through a break in the clouds, signaling morning. To my mortification, I woke to find us in the center of the couch, my head on Mamoru's shoulder. His soft, even breaths stirred a few golden strands with each exhale, cheek barely brushing against the crown of my head.

I stilled.

Carefully and quietly, I separate myself from him and rose off the couch, pausing only once to snatch my coat and shoes before slipping out the front door. The hallway was barren as I put on my things and made my way into the elevator. As the doors closed I reveled in the serene stillness that often accompanied early mornings and the way it seemed to melt into my mood. There was something… different, now; some edge that had been smoothed over, a weight that had lightened. For the first time in a long while, I felt absolutely calm, at peace, and I wasn't sure what to make of that. As the elevator descended, I took that moment to simply savor this rare feeling.

Then, I scurried out of the apartment building and promptly left that feeling behind.

Again I took to wandering the streets, this time determined to make sense of things, though given the fact that Minako wanted to form some kind of government and actually take over the world, it wasn't likely there was any sense to be made of this catastrophe.

That was more than a little frightening.

I wasn't interested in world domination, and I wanted no part in whatever madness the Order of Elysion was bound to get into sooner or later. Fleeing was not an option though, and that left me in this strange in between; I couldn't go back to the Tsukino residence, couldn't stand the thought of going back to school, so where did that leave me?

 _Bring Serenity back, find her a body._ It was all I had left, the only thing keeping me from a listless existence, but what about after that?

I dove into the problems before me, assessing what I originally knew, what I had learned, and what remained a mystery. The Order of Elysion, their intentions seemed straightforward enough, unsavory as they were. Rini… I wasn't too sure about her, but I hadn't had time to get a better feel on the child yet. In the end that meeting had left me with more questions than answers. There was that strange note in my pocket and the ticking time bomb that was Rini's situation. There was no way I was going to go to the future and fight an unknown enemy.

Thanks to Jadeite, I had a good excuse for any odd behavior in the past, present, and the foreseeable future, plus an alibi for the original Silver Millennium. That was literally the only upside to this entire ordeal. Sure, supposedly Serenity could be revived, but no one knew how or when or at what cost. I needed to talk with her about creating a fake past and that Metaria thing, find out what, exactly, had happened; so many things about that day had been off, and it was time to deal with that before burying myself in other issues

Like my death- which I most definitely was not going to think about.

The Order of Elysion… Mamoru had said it was mostly Minako's doing, and Matsuo had mentioned something along the same lines as well. The problem with Minako was that, though I couldn't prove it, I knew she had some type of plot or scheme up her sleeve; that's what this was about, so the only question remaining was the nature of said scheme. If Minako's intentions were ultimately- well, not harmless, because if the girl was anything it certainly wasn't harmless, but if her intentions weren't nefarious, if they weren't harmful to me or Serenity in the long run then what did I care?

I had no problem, and no intention on interfering with their world domination.

My biggest concern, at the end of things, pretty much circled back around to the tiny time traveler. Whether or not she was manipulating the Order, or if she herself was being manipulated; whether she was telling the truth about Serenity, and if I could believe any information I got from her.

I sighed and rubbed harshly at my face, banishing such thoughts. I was just seeking a nice distraction when, from the corner of my eye, a familiar splash of pink caught my attention. My feet had taken me to one of the more rural parts of the district it seemed. Across the street, through one of the many, many entrances to the very park where Mamoru and I had first met, I spotted Rini. It looked as though she was alone, and doing a decent job of wandering as well as she made her way further into the park.

Curiosity had me following her.

The park itself was enormous, larger than I remembered though I had only gone the one time and hadn't returned since then. I thought the section of the park I had seen with Mamoru wasn't too far from here, with the bench and fountain and pond. I tailed Rini, watching as she glanced in certain directions and paused every now and then. It was like she was trying to memorize the park, or was perhaps seeing something else entirely though I couldn't say what. If this park was still around a thousand years in the future, maybe it was different enough to confuse her or something.

Eventually, Rini made it to her destination, which came in the form of another open area with a small playground. There was something… heavy hearted, about the child as she found her way to one of the swings, placed the ball she carried on the ground and sat down, swaying gently. With her head turned downward it was difficult to gauge an expression, so I observed her hands instead. Rini's knuckles were white as she gripped the chains of the swing. For a good while I stayed on the path, leaning against one of the trees and just observing.

There was nothing about her that nagged at my internal alarms though.

She just looked like any other seven year old.

A lonely, and likely frightened little girl, alone in a world she didn't entirely understand.

Another child with far too heavy a burden to bear.

* * *

I lasted five more minutes watching the child before I found myself pushing off that tree and walking over. Maybe it was because the tragedy of her situation hit too close to home for comfort, or maybe I was just a fool, but as I plopped into the swing next to her and gazed up at the partially cloudy sky, I became overwhelmed with the insane urge to chase away her sadness.

"You know," I began quietly, gaze thoughtful on the sky above, "I don't think I can call you Usagi, or Usa-chan, it's just too weird for me. I mean, _my_ name is Usagi, so we can't both go around using the same name or it'll get too confusing."

A pause.

Then, hesitantly, a small voice replied, "…What should we do then?"

I sighed heavily, as if the problem had been weighing on my mind, a truly serious affair. "Well, there can only be one dominant Usagi in this city- two would be too much for the world to handle," She let out a surprised giggle, and I sent a grin her way. "So here's what I can do: I get to be Usagi, since I was here first, and I'll call you… Rini. Little Rabbit. Does that sound fair enough to you?"

She nodded, and that sadness in her gaze seemed to grow smaller.

I softened my smile, and in a gentle tone, asked, "Rini, would you mind if I asked a few questions about what happened to your home?"

That fragile hope bloomed across her features once more. "I… yes. I don't mind."

"I'm grateful for the help." I told her, gathering my thoughts. She waited patiently, providing me with her full attention as I began, "To start off, here is what I've been told so far. The Black Moon Clan- that is the enemy you spoke of?"

"Yes." She breathed the word, as though the very thought pained her. "They attacked Crystal Tokyo three times and failed."

"But on the fourth?"

Rini's hands shook, and she shoved them together in her lap, an attempt to hide the evidence. "On the fourth try, they succeeded. My mother- the Queen had defended Crystal Tokyo and defeated them easily the first three times, but on the fourth…"

I eyed the shudder that racked her shoulders.

Gently, I had to do this gently. "What was different, Rini? If the Queen was able to fight them off, what changed?"

"…It disappeared." She choked out after a moment. "The Silver Crystal disappeared. There was nothing- my mother couldn't stop them, not without it. They destroyed everything, _everything_. Only the palace remained…"

Rini didn't cry, but in fear that she might, I waited a few minutes before posing my next question. "Tell me about your home. What's the palace like? What is Crystal Tokyo like?"

"It's beautiful." She murmured. "The greatest city on Earth; during the day, sunlight pours into the Crystal Palace and there are places where the light turns into a rainbow of color. When the moon is full, the palace shines as bright as a _star_ , and Crystal Tokyo almost glows. The city is… peaceful, and loud in a different way than it is here, more happy I think. This Tokyo is dirty, and the air tastes wrong and the food isn't the same either."

"That's probably pollution you're describing." She gave me a questioning look and I sighed. "Never mind. You know, Crystal Tokyo sounds like a very nice place."

"It is." Rini agreed. "It's clean, and there aren't nearly so many sick people."

"The Queen must have worked really hard for your home." I mused. At her hum, I slid my gaze away, and added, "Do you think she's strong?"

"Yeah." Rini pushed off the ground, swinging a bit. "People call her many things, because she has a reputation like Sailor Moon."

"Oh?" That was interesting. "What sort of reputation?"

"The Queen of Crystal when she's happy, and the Iron Queen when she isn't." The words were almost mechanical in their delivery, as though Rini had heard them a hundred times. She then shrugged, as though the thought of a harsh Serenity wasn't anything to be alarmed about. "Sailor Moon was her advisor, and her friend for a long time."

"Is the Queen… merciful?"

Rini paused, feet dragging against the ground. "…I heard a story once, about a revolt many years ago. There were people who didn't like how Mother did things, and they did not want to live in the Crystal Empire. Most that challenge the Queen, or try to take the throne… they aren't given the chance to do it again. The Black Moon Clan though…"

Serenity showed them mercy? "Is that a bad thing?"

"People were upset." She kicked off the ground again, more gently this time. "They said she was letting the Black Moon Clan off too easy, that she let them run away each time, which is why they kept coming back."

Serenity… she wasn't like me, she was kind and fair, and showing mercy to her enemies sounded more like the princess I knew than this iron ruler business. Then again, I supposed being a ruling monarch could change a person. I was getting my information from a child, too, and there was no telling the accuracy of her words.

Rini glanced at the ground, then back up at me. "…Can I ask a question?"

"Knock yourself out."

She perked up and I nearly fell off my swing as Rini excitedly asked, "So did you really take down your first youma with nothing but your fists?"

What the hell?

"Pardon?" I didn't know how to answer that question, and instead I ended up voicing the singular thought on my mind. "Where did you hear that from?"

For some reason, Rini looked smug as though it had been her that had fought and killed that youma all those months ago and not me. "Well _I_ heard that you wiped the floor with it when the Sailor Scouts couldn't, and that was your first battle too."

I examined the fresh gleam in her gaze. "You know, you sound awfully excited about carnage."

"What does carnage mean?"

My lips pursed. "You know what? Ask your mother next time you see her."

At her dubious expression, I scrambled for a new topic.

"Say… what can you tell me about the Order of Elysion?"

Rini hummed. "The Order of Elysion was founded before Crystal Tokyo. They defended Earth and brought peace, first to Japan and then to the rest of the world. In the 30th century, Crystal Tokyo is filled with people that have powers; the Order had academies and stuff built in the beginning of the Crystal Empire, because so many people with abilities had moved to Tokyo after the Accords."

"The…Accords?"

"Mhm." She said, pausing at my baffled expression and then adding, "Oh, yeah. Well, it's like… like a promise, but on paper and with countries instead of two people."

My god.

Minako was really going to pull it off, wasn't she?

"Okay, so the Order made a deal with another country then, to protect the paranormal citizens of the world. That's grand, Minako will be thrilled. When, exactly, does that happen?"

She blinked, brow wrinkling in concentration.

After a good minute, my stare was overwhelmingly disappointed. "You don't remember, do you?"

Rini bristled. "Hey! History lessons are boring, okay?"

"Even History lessons about Sailor Moon?"

"That's different." She sniffed.

"Is it now?" Was it terrible to goad a child into spilling information?

Ah, well.

"Sailor Moon," Rini began haughtily, "wrote the Act of Independence; she also wrote the Celestial Codex of Constitutional Law, _and_ the Accords, _and_ the Sacred Rights."

I began to have a sinking feeling that someone, somewhere, had spent years feeding this child nonsense –really, _celestial_ what now?- and that someone was probably Serenity. If my tone wavered between dubious and unimpressed as I responded, well, could you really blame me? "Sailor Moon did _all_ of that by herself?"

Whatever _that_ was; children really weren't very clear, were they?

"Well, no…" She flushed, stumbling in her defense. "But she wrote the Codex and the Sacred Rights."

"…Without anyone else's help? At all?"

To my amusement Rini turned red in equal embarrassment and fury. "So a lot of the Order helped, but still! She was the one it _write it down_ , and Sailor Moon had an equal part in creating the Crystal Empire, her work was definitely the best and most important."

I smirked. "Well, then I guess you're welcome."

Her stare was sullen, unbelievably displeased with the reality of her childhood heroine.

I cleared my throat, stomping down the urge to tease her more as it wasn't helpful to the cause. "Back to the matter at hand. The Order of Elysion, where does the Moon Princess come in?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I was wondering if you knew when she would return, _how_ Serenity would come back."

Rini looked at me like I was stupid. "Sailor Moon brings her back. Shouldn't _you_ know how, since you're the one that's going to do it?"

Well, shit.

I rubbed my temples, feeling a headache forming as she confirmed what I had begun to suspect; no one actually had any idea how to revive Serenity, just that it would be done. Since that was the case… well, it was up to me to find a way, wasn't it? How, exactly, I was going to do that I didn't know. It wasn't like there were any books around here explaining how to build a body or revive the dead or anything. Serenity was little more than a soul right now, and her mother had died reincarnating her daughter, so that route was definitely (probably) closed.

I was going over possible options when the stillness struck me, and I froze, head snapping up. The park was deadly silent, deadly still, and the fine hair on the back of my neck stood on end.

 _Too quiet,_ Something in me screamed. _This place isn't safe._

I leap to my feet and all but dragged Rini out of her swing. "We aren't alone."

And then, as if to prove my words, something cracked behind me.

An unholy screech pierced the air.

* * *

Eleven weeks is a long, long time to be out of practice, and there was no denying that I had been a bit worried as to how much my skills might have deteriorated from disuse.

Of course, I needn't have worried.

With that inhuman shriek echoing in my mind, it took me about a second to transform, scoop Rini up and over my shoulder, and subsequently haul ass in the opposite direction. Hell, I was sprinting away before the transformation even finished, without even glancing at whatever horror had sounded behind me as power flooded my system. Another screech rang out, followed by a second –Christ, there were _two_ of them- as the creatures took up the chase.

Rini squirmed in my arms, and I nearly dropped her as she braced an arm against my back, lifting herself up in order to shriek into my ear. "What are you doing? You're Sailor Moon, turn around and crush them!"

"How about no?" The retort was not taken kindly, and I hefted her up, readjusting my grip. The path began to curve, and instead of following it I ran straight into the foliage, hoping to lose whatever the hell hunted us. "I swear to god, if you do not stop moving around _I will drop you_."

The sound of wood crunching told me our pursuers would not be so easily lost.

"Sailor Moon doesn't run away from a fight!"

I ignored her. "Tell me you have one of those communicator watch things."

Rini paused, and I caught a flash of movement between trees from the corner of my eye, something dark and too fast to be made out. Then my attention was pulled to the kid as she gasped and squirmed. "Luna P, I left my ball in the park. Turn around, we have to go back!"

"I'll buy you another ball."

"Go back!" She struggled, landing a kick to my stomach that knocked the wind out of me. I stumbled, and only through sheer force of will did I manage to regain my footing enough to keep running, albeit more slowly and hunched over. "Luna-P can call the Order, so turn around!"

Damn everything.

I veered a sharp left, away from whatever lurked in the trees, but I didn't turn around completely. We could go back for the damn ball, but then what? How long would it take for reinforcements to arrive? This wasn't like any of the fights I had fought before, not even close; I was outmatched at least two to one, I didn't have the element of surprise, and to top it all off I was lugging around dead weight in the form of a seven year old. I couldn't just _leave_ her and make a run for it, I was selfish and morally ambiguous, but there was a line and I drew it at small children.

Something lunged at us.

Rini screamed as I dove onto the ground and the thing went clear over us, form tumbling to a halt five feet away. The thing spun, and I realized it had no face; no eyes or mouth or any defining features. It had skin, and was shaped like a person, but there was nothing human about it, not a thing. It was too close, blocking the way and preparing to lung again; there was no avoiding physical combat, and I couldn't use the moon scepter, not with a kid in these close quarters where it was likely to hit her or a tree and hinder me rather than help. I needed to find a path, to get anywhere large enough to freely swing it.

I dropped Rini and swept forward, making the first move.

Behind me she yelped upon making contact with the cold, hard ground; I might have felt bad, but then the thing was lunging to meet me and I didn't have time to feel much of anything. I ducked down as it came at me, my shoulder meeting its gut as I heaved upward and flipped the creature. Its head met unforgiving ground with a crack that didn't sound quite right, and as I pivoted on my heel a chill went through me from the feel of its flesh –cold, leathery, _wrong_.

And that crack, not at all like a skull breaking.

The thing didn't turn to face me as I thought it would; no instead, somehow, without having any visible eyes, it seemed to _lock_ on Rini, its next move obvious. I had a foot hooked around its ankle, yanking back to impede the forward leap the creature took. Rini had the good sense to scramble around a tree and back to my side as the thing twisted and rolled out of my reach. Where its friend had gone I didn't know, but I no longer heard any noises of pursuit, nothing other than the struggle between us. With the way cleared I scooped Rini back up and ran before the creature could hop back onto its feet.

I saw the second one coming between the trees about heartbeat before it slipped into our path. One behind, one in front- I couldn't stop, couldn't let go of Rini with them this close. That was okay though, because that single moment of preparation allowed me just enough time to reel my left fist back and swing it forward into the creature's face without losing pace.

My fist met disgusting, leathery flesh, and an awful crunch sounded as the thing was knocked out of our path. Another screech pierced the air, but this one was pained, and came through clenched teeth; it came from me, because that terrible crunching sound hadn't been from the creature, but from my own damn hand. I don't know what kept the muscles in my legs going forward, or how I didn't pause or slow or even stumble through the blinding pain lacing my hand, but somehow I found myself going faster.

Rini had gone silent and clung to me, for which I was more than a little grateful as I cradled my injury to my chest.

At this point I was more or less running blindly, having lost my sense of direction. A breeze blew through the forest, the chill biting my ears, and then suddenly it was as if my body had decided to work against me. The cold seemed to slam into me as my limbs stiffened, slowing me down; I worked to keep them from locking entirely, desperately urging myself to _go_. The air turned too thin, too sharp as it coated my lungs. I inhaled deeply, trying to get oxygen that just wasn't enough anymore. The chill was relentless. The metal of my tiara was _too cold_.

And then things took a turn for the worse as a wall of _dark fire_ licked a path up past my right, blocking the route.

Not thirty feet away there was a break in the trees, and I threw myself forward, willing my body to just go, get into open space where I could make some kind of stand against- what the hell were those things? It didn't matter, the moon scepter would finish what I couldn't, it would heal my hand, I just needed to get there. My back heated and Rini gasped, twisting her face away as fire closed in on us. We broke through the trees, and I found myself somewhere between laughing and crying as I realized where we had ended up.

My feet left grass, onto pavement, and then slamming onto wood as I leapt off a small set of stairs that led onto the pond's fishing dock. Rini, now facing forward, tensed up when I didn't slow as we neared the end of the dock. "What are you doing?!"

"Hold your breath!" It was the only warning she received before my feet pushed off the wooden planks and we went airborne for a briefest of seconds.

And then plunged into icy waters.

* * *

 _So cold, too cold._

 _My body was heavy, lethargic and I was sinking down down down, being dragged into darkness by the weight above me._

 _I was going to die here , in this endless freezing water, so frigid that it burned, burned like liquid fire through my skin, into my veins. Something next to me convulsed, and my grip began to slip, and all I could think was not like this._

 _I didn't want to die like this._

 _Something… warm, surged at my chest then, and even behind closed lids I could see a shining light. That phantom warmth spiked through me, as though it were angry,_ furious _; there was nothing kind or gentle about the feeling. It was the opposite to this cold, quiet abyss that silently brought me closer to an end I didn't want. Then the strangest thing happened; a voice echoed to me, not anywhere in the water around me but from within. It was familiar, one I knew well and one I hadn't truly heard in my mind for weeks and weeks._

" _Get. Up." The Voice commanded, tone somewhere between a threat and a plea. "Do not stop, don't you dare leave me."_

 _I couldn't._

" _You made me a promise." That Voice seethed. "Not even God himself."_

 _Silver hair, sky blue eyes. It was Serenity._

 _Serenity._

 _Who was going to save Serenity?_

" _Fight." She snapped._

 _I fought._

* * *

Against every fading instinct, against all odds, we broke through the surface.

Rini curled into me, spitting up water onto my front as I summoned the moon scepter and buried the sharp edge of the crescent moon into the wooden dock to pull us closer. I held Rini to me with the injured hand as she continued to cough and shiver, silently cursing my stupidity. I couldn't heal my hand without waving the scepter, which meant letting go of the dock and supporting Rini's weight with my weakening legs. There was no ladder to climb onto –where was the fucking ladder?- and the wooden planks were far up enough that in my condition, I didn't think I had the strength to lift Rini onto them.

I stretched my feet and found no bottom.

Through our combined breathing, shivering, and chattering teeth, my hearing picked up a clacking noise.

Like heels against wood.

I yanked the scepter, splintering wood and tucked it under my arm as I swam under the dock. The bitter air hurt to inhale, but I did it anyway, taking the deepest breath I could and holding it. I stripped Rini of her coat to lighten the weight and used what little strength I had left to make a break for the shore, or as close as I could get. I didn't even try to be quiet, just paddled desperately for a place where I could stand. Those clacking heels paused as I passed, and I thought I might have heard a chuckle as they turned and stalked our journey back towards the shore.

It hadn't seemed so far before.

"Sly girl." A sultry, female voice cooed. "Jumping into the water to avoid my flames. How long will you last though, in this weather?"

Not long at all.

But it –she, was talking, and those things from before didn't have mouths, probably didn't have vocal chords. Whoever was above us, that was a _person_ ; a person able to wield fire, perhaps, but a living being all the same. Those creatures must belong to her, and they hadn't followed us into the water. From the slowly numbing throb of my knuckles, I was willing to bet those rock-hard nightmares would sink to the bottom of the pond if they jumped in. Between them and the pyromaniac, this dock was the best place to make a last stand.

And make no mistake, I wasn't going down without a last stand.

Perhaps there was little I could do against those abominations, but another human being? Oh, people could be taken down easily enough, so long as they bled and breathed as I did. And I began to wonder if maybe, just maybe, this was where that nickname originated, The Destroyer; because now that I knew my death was coming, now that the reality of it hung over my head, I had the unquenchable urge to eliminate the threat. An unshakable desire to end my opponents before they had the chance to end me.

"You truly needn't hide in the water, all I want is the Rabbit." A twinkly laugh echoed, followed by the slow _clack-clack-clack_ of heels. "Really, there's no need for violence; I have no quarrel with a stranger such as yourself."

Another minute of swimming had my feet brushing against solid ground.

I might have sobbed at the feeling had her words not struck me.

 _The Rabbit_ , She'd said. Rini, this had to be about Rini, and not me because setting aside the fact that Sailor Moon was the least known of the Sailor Scouts, I hadn't made any new enemies in my extensive time away. So this was about the seven year old clinging to me for dear life, this was _her_ safety in the balance, not mine. I might have gone livid at the thought of attacking a child, but the fact was that I was already past such a level of anger, having sunk into a killing calm.

It wasn't fair, it wasn't _right_.

I had already faced death before, and this was my second chance, the one I had fought tooth and nail for. The Silver Crystal was going to keep everyone else alive for another millennium… everyone except me. Because, apparently, _I_ was going to die in some tragic unknown event, and with the way this world worked, it wasn't going to be something nice. I wasn't going to die from an illness, or in my sleep, or from a fucking blunt; no, because of who I was now, my death would come in the heat of battle, and it would be painful, and possibly slow, _and I do not accept that._

This utter fool had nearly snatched my future, mine and Serenity's.

Now, she would pay for that mistake.

I continued push through water until it was only at chest height, accompanied by the sound of those wretched heels though they grew farther with each stroke. I left the shelter that was the underside of the dock and pried Rini off me long enough to push her onto it before hauling myself up next to her. She pressed to my side, seeking warmth or perhaps comfort, though I couldn't say for sure as my attention immediately locked onto the woman –our attacker- and her leisure pace as she strolled towards us.

Dark purple locks fell in long waves down her shoulders, accenting pale skin and similarly purple eyes- eyes filled with wicked glee. The woman wore a pink, pinstriped onesie that covered her from neck to ankle, sharp purple pumps echoing every step, and a black, jagged tutu reminiscent of crow feathers. Everything about her was eye catching and screamed danger, from the malice in her grin to the deep blue flame that flickered to life in her open palm.

An inverted crescent moon, black as night, adorned her brow.

I rose to my feet, falling into a defensive stance out of instinct.

An elated gigle slipped past the woman's lips as she observed us, dark nails resting delicately against her cheek. "Oh dear, what a pitiful sight the two of you make."

My grasp on the moon scepter tightened. "Who are you?"

"Me?" She preened. "I am Koan of the Black Moon Clan, and I have been sent to retrieve the Rabbit by my beloved. You, dear girl, are in my way. I suggest moving out of it before my patience wears thin."

The fire in her hand flared as though to emphasize her point.

I should have been scared, or at the very least wary. However, as I watched Koan, her sharp grin and heated gaze, those knife-like heels and painted nails, all I could think was what this woman would die, and she would die by my hand. I'd open her throat with the moon scepter and watch her blood stain the dock red. Koan of the Black Moon Clan had been a breath away from taking everything from me including my life, but she had wanted to toy with her food first.

She'd underestimated me.

I couldn't help it, and a single laugh escaped me.

Her grin turned to a snarl.

She threw the fireball faster than I could have safely dodged with a child at my side, and as it closed in on us with a fury my only thought was to shield. The image was clear in my mind, a barrier using the power of the moon scepter and so the hand wielding it shot out instinctively as the rest of my body cringed back from the flame. Of course, this was reality where thinking about a shield wouldn't magically conjure one. The moon scepter swung out, meeting the flame head on and, to my astonishment, cutting right through it smooth as butter.

The fireball dispersed three feet from my face.

Koan was appropriately stunned, and it was more than I could have ever asked for. Something dark told hold of my emotions as together it dawned on both me and my enemy that the power had shifted. She was no longer in control, and I had a score to settle. "You should've killed me when you had the chance."

"You…" Koan took a step back in a move that appeared almost subconscious as her wide gaze bore into me with a newfound intensity, turning towards caution as she finally seemed to _see_ me. That sultry voice was in near disbelief, her next words breathless as she murmured, "You're _her_ , aren't you? The Destroyer… You're Sailor Moon."

"Yes." Now I was stalking her every move, gaining ground for every step Koan receded with a smile that promised pain and a voice brimming with sweet venom. "And you, Koan of the Black Moon Clan, I think I shall take _great_ pleasure in gutting."

The dark haired woman took one look at the moon scepter in my hands, its extended length and sharp edges.

And then she disappeared.

* * *

What came next was a bit of a blur, though I was the one in charge of our movements.

There was no fire, no more creatures lying in wait as I healed my hand, whisked Rini up and stumbled back into the park for her ball. She curled around me, head buried in the crook of my neck and shivering uncontrollably. I noted the scorched marks grazing one side of her clothes and the crisp ends of her hair, not quite singed, as I released Sailor Moon and found myself in wet but welcome winter clothing.

I hailed us a cab, ignoring the driver's questioning look and, after rattling off the location of the warehouse district, settled into a semi-dazed silence. Rini sat quietly tucked into my side, slowly warming up in the heat of the cab and clutching her ball tightly. One of my hands ran up and down her arm in absentminded motions as I lost myself in a flurry of thoughts.

The Black Moon Clan was going to be a problem.

Rini had wanted me to go to the future to fight them –which I'd had no intentions of doing- but now that argument was moot point. They were _here_ , in the past, and more than willing to spill some blood to meet their ends.

I had almost died today.

If that woman Koan had simply gone for the kill straight away, that would have been it. No second chances. Serenity would have been stuck in the Silver Crystal, her shot at freedom gone and at the mercy of god only knows who. That couldn't happen. I couldn't die before freeing her, couldn't be careless or reckless or make such a mistake. The clock was ticking, the window of opportunity to secure Serenity's future dwindling with each day and I was only now understanding that.

There would always be enemies in Tokyo.

The fight never ended.

I _knew_ this, knew it and yet the implications hadn't dawned on me until this very moment. There would always be another battle to be fought, another opponent scheming against one of us, and every day I didn't revive Serenity was another day closer to that next confrontation. I couldn't waste time anymore, there was no guarantee I'd survive the next one and the only person I could count on to bring Serenity back was myself. The Order of Elysion did have the right drive, their moral compass would stand in the way if this was left to them.

It was time to face the facts, and the facts were that at this point in time the knowledge I required to give Serenity a body simply didn't exist yet. In this field of science Rei, Jadeite and I were the groundbreaking pioneers paving the way for future research, and our own knowledge measured pitifully miniscule at the moment. However, there was one place guaranteed to have the knowledge necessary, and perhaps even the materials. Rini had told me about it herself when describing Crystal Tokyo of the 30th century.

It was a city filled with people that retained abilities.

A city with academies that likely taught about and researched magic, ESP, and paranormal phenomena. The proper knowledge would exist there; it had to with an entire millennium to have built upon the miniscule foundation already being laid here in the present by the Order of Elysion. Having arrived at that conclusion, what came next was the obvious, near inevitable choice.

The cabbie dropped us off two blocks from Elysion headquarters.

We made the short walk in record time, clothes only just beginning to dry, and entered the warehouse hand in hand. Inside, the place was quietly abuzz as everyone went about their own business and I suddenly remembered it was, for them, a normal morning. Rei and Jadeite were in their corner, heads bent over a book. The second office door was closed yet again, light on and blinds shut. The first office was in use, though the blinds were up and the door ajar. At the table Makoto, Matsuo, and Zoisite chatted about something until Makoto, the only one facing our way, glanced up at the two of us.

"Oh my god." She jumped to her feet, voice echoing off the high ceiling and catching everyone's attention. "What the hell happened?"

Three heads peered out of the open office, blonde, silver, and black respectively as those at the table spun in their seats and Makoto hurried toward us.

Rini pressed her face into my side, and I glanced down at her.

A little girl, that's all she was.

Not a malicious force, not an enemy. Whether she was being manipulated was another matter altogether, and a thought for a later date. Right now she was a scared child, one that now knew there was nothing glorious or pretty about battle. Luck and speed and being underestimated were all that had gotten me this far in life, no matter what Ami or anyone else seemed to think. Every battle waged had been one where I was fighting for continued survival and losing was not an option.

I squeezed her hand gently, reassuringly.

When I looked back up it was to startled, worried, agape expressions.

I took a slow breath, posture straightening. I nodded to Zoisite. "Go get blankets and whatever spare clothes you can find lying around here. Ami, call the rest of the Order back here for an emergency meeting. The Black Moon Clan is here, and they're looking for Rini."

Maybe it was something in my expression or tone, but there was no hesitation, no protests as I laid out orders. Ami and Zoisite moved with haste, doing as they were told while I led Rini over to the conference table. The last two days I'd sat here and had life altering conversations and now as I lowered myself into what was now officially my seat at the table for the third time in three days, I was about to have another one.

Minako met my gaze across the room. "So what does this mean?"

It meant there was a city filled with exactly the kind of information that would help me in reviving Serenity, and that the only way to get to said city was to travel a thousand years into the future. It meant in order to get what I wanted I had to march head long into that trap, into that future where certain doom and unknown enemies lied in wait. It meant lying and scheming and allying myself with a cause I didn't actually believe in and people that had a fifty fifty chance of either being helpful to or hindering my goal.

It meant drinking the kool-aid, but I didn't say any of that.

Instead I allowed a grim smile to grace my features and replied, "It means I'm joining the revolution."

For better or worse.

* * *

A/N

Good day, fellow readers!

Do _you_ feel like this chapter was all over the place? Are _you_ looking for higher quality story telling? Have _you_ found yourself questioning the meaning of life and why, exactly, this fic feels like one huge existential crisis? Well then. Fear not! Because I, the Author, feel exactly the same!

Mostly the part about this chapter being all over the place, but that may have something to do with the fact that my ADD is being relentless and cruel and has taken the reins because I forgot to refill my medication in the beginning of the new year, have been without it ever since and will continue to suffer for the next damn month while I struggle to be a Normal Functioning Adult™ until my next prescription can be filled. If it makes any of you feel any better, I am sorry?

The Fic Must Go On, as no one says, ever.

Anyway, as much as I'd hate to drag this A/N on, there's something that I've been noticing from various PMs and Reviews that's been nagging at me for a while now and I know if I don't address it it'll continue to haunt me and we really can't have that, not good for the soul or my insomnia.

Usagi… is not a kicked puppy, or a poor damsel in distress.

She's got a shit life, yeah, and terrible circumstances and yes the universe (Me) keeps kicking her while she's down but… well, Usagi isn't a Woe-Is-Me pity case; she isn't a Helpless Victim™ or a Sweet Cinnamon Roll Too Pure For This World™. Pity her, because by god is she deserving of some sympathy, but remember who, exactly it is that we're pitying here. Usagi is selfish and ruthless and though she may not take pleasure in hurting others she'll do it if that's what it takes to meet her ends, to survive another day. Her natural instinct of self-preservation is only pierced by the occasional bout of humanity for another human being.

Usagi will always do what needs to be done.

Imagine the city, town, village, you live in. Imagine your neighbors and friends and coworkers. Imagine a third of them in comas from mysterious attacks and another third with loved ones in those comas. Imagine being able to save those people, being able to stop their attackers beforehand, or just having the ability to wake them from those comas. People with siblings and parents and friends and children, all waiting for them to wake up, wondering if they'll ever get better. Imagine having the power to ease that suffering, to help these innocent bystanders.

Imagine leaving them to their fates.

Usagi doesn't care much about the world, or rather, she's too busy trying to stay alive to give a damn. Pity her, but remember that at the end of the day, by society's standards, she is not a good person, and she consciously acts on this knowledge even if it chews at her insides later on.

With that said,

Thoughts? Questions? Undignified But Amusing Responses?

Please Review!

P.S. Someone asked me what having ADD is like as a writer. Well, it's like slamming your head into a brick wall, only not because instead it's actually the brick wall slamming into _you_ , even when you aren't frustrated or annoyed, and at random intervals throughout the day.

Basically, my ADD is stalking me, lurking in the shadows and snapping it's fingers menacingly. That probably doesn't make sense to any of you but it does to me and that's about as good as it's going to get.


	21. Chapter 21

A/N

FML I am so used to typing some other substitute for the Dark Kingdom that now whenever I actually use the word I keep second guessing whether that's the right name.

* * *

The Moon Kingdom was, in its entirety, unnaturally captivating.

It was there in the intricate details someone had engraved in white stone thousands and thousands of years ago' a design that danced across trimmings, pillars, and tall archways. You could find it in the lush foliage of the palace courtyards and the gardens outside its walls; meadows and fields overflowing with flora unlike anything found on earth. The allure of the Sea of Serenity and it's still surface, spanning out in every direction as far as the eye could see and reflecting a mirror image of the galaxy above.

Yes, there was an unusual bewitchment to be found in the Moon Kingdom.

There was also something disquieting about it.

The silence didn't bother me, and I'd grown used to the ever-present Earth as it loomed in the sky. No, what left me unsettle were the shadows, always dancing at the edge of my vision and always gone when I turned to examine them. Sometimes I thought I was seeing double, a very different version of the Moon Palace; one that, in spite of my attempts, I could never quite make out. I was in the middle of inspecting one of the many archways that led into this particular courtyard when Serenity nudged me.

She wore an amused grin and an arched brow. "That entrance isn't going anywhere, you know. Perhaps we can return to the subject at hand and you can continue glaring it into submission once our work is done."

Ignoring the rush of heat spread across my cheeks, I rolled my eyes and sneered. "I wasn't glaring, merely _observing_."

"My apologies." Serenity gestured to the papers scattered in the grass between us. "Now, if you would be so kind as to _observe_ the outline I drew up?"

With begrudging defeat I shifted my focus to the notes in front of me. The outline was little more than a list of things I needed to learn in order to solidify my alibi during the Silver Millennium; key figures, relationships between kingdoms, the layout of the palace, important historical facts, that sort of thing. In the past few days since joining up with the Order, Serenity and I had begun meeting regularly to work a little more on perfecting my lie. I walked the palace while she rattled off random trivia and occasionally quizzed me.

It was tedious work, yes, but it would eventually come in handy.

"Tomorrow we'll begin the basics of court etiquette and then add that on to the rotation." Serenity paused, eyeing me speculatively, and added, "How is your ice skating?"

I tossed her outline back onto the other papers, a long-suffering sigh slipping from me. "Subpar."

"We'll have to work on that as well then." At my grimace she tsked and shot me a reprimanding look. "You were the one to come up with this impersonator, body double business. _I_ could have told you what a terrible plan that was if you would have stopped to discuss it with me beforehand. You reap what you sow, Usagi; if Sailor Moon is supposed to be able to pass as a princess, then a princess you will have to learn to be, even if only superficially."

The scolding tone Serenity used contrasted greatly with the twinkly gaze she sported and her rather upbeat attitude. I squinted at her.

"What are you staring at?"

"You're enjoying this, aren't you?" My voice was accusing.

"Well, I won't deny it's rather pleasant being on the other side of these lessons."

"I'm so pleased to know my struggles have entertained you." I flopped onto my back, letting my legs unfold and stretch out across the grass. Again, at the corner of my vision part of the palace appeared darker, almost distorted, and a cursory glance around showed everything in normal order. After a moment, Serenity plopped down next to me, hands over her stomach and fingers interlaced; I took a moment to commit the mannerism to memory before allowing my thoughts to wander.

I absentmindedly studied her silver hair, the gold crescent moon at her forehead, the pristine white dress with gold accents and found myself pondering over this strange princess whose face I shared. "…What will you do, after you have a body again?"

She blinked in surprise, head turning toward me.

"I… don't know." The admission was quiet. With a furrowed brow, her gaze wandered back to the earth, as it so often did. "I haven't thought that far ahead yet, haven't truly considered it to be perfectly honest. There are other matters that take precedence, not to mention several issues needing to be resolved before any other problems arise. Once all of that is settled, I suppose I'll give it some thought."

I trained my stare onto the galaxy stretched out before us, counting my breaths as her words sank in. She hadn't thought about it. I had though, I thought about her revival every day and I knew Minako did too. But Serenity hadn't, and that unsettled me. "I'm going to do it."

A pause. "I wouldn't be angry if you couldn't."

"But I will." My voice was a tad sharp, and I worked to even it out as I continued, "And when I do, when you have a body and the world is in the palm of your hand, I expect a _file_ of things you want to do; cities and foods and movies and events. It better be the bucket list to _end_ all bucket lists."

"And you?" She inquired curtly. "What will you do, upon completion of this task?"

My chest tightened.

I had no immediate plans past reviving Serenity; once that was done and over with, what did I have left? Nothing. I would be aimless save for one more goal to be completed, and setting that venture aside… what then? With the rest of my life laid out before me, what did I intend to do with it? I didn't know, it was too much time and the very thought of having such a wealth of empty years on my hands was frightening. Plotting, fighting for my life, outmaneuvering others, watching my back, I knew how to do all of those things, how to live that way, but would come after?

When the scores had been settled, my enemies dealt with and Serenity had her freedom, when that brutal and unforgivingly pragmatic part of me was no longer needed, what would I do with myself? I didn't know how to be normal. I had come into this world paranoid and fearful, but that too had also changed. I no longer felt hunted, no longer flinched at shadows or repeated looked over my shoulder. I was still wary though, still a little afraid.

I didn't know.

"The Order of Elysion wants to change the world." I mused. "…Is that something you'd do if given the choice?"

Serenity took a long, shuttering breath. "They want me to lead them, don't they?"

Neither of us had addressed the notion before now.

"Not if it isn't what you want." My fingers threaded through the grass above my head as I tried to put thoughts into words. "If you wanted to be normal and go to school instead, or get a job, or start up your own little business, or even go wild and run away with the circus, it wouldn't be a problem. Whatever you want to do with the rest of your life is entirely up to you."

"…Entirely up to me, huh?" There was a wistful note to her tone, and something far heavier that caused me to glance her way. I realized then that perhaps Serenity's life had never truly been her own, that this chance for freedom would be far different from what she had known. A Crown Princess wouldn't have had the pleasure of choosing what her future would look like; her world would have been lessons and rules and expectations, a path to the throne paved from the moment she took her first breath.

I wondered… if the throne was no longer a duty forced upon her, but instead a choice…

Would she choose to rule?

Serenity blew air through her cheeks and popped up into a sitting position. "Well, we should probably get started with today's lessons." I groaned as she ambled to her feet and then pulled me up with her. "Oh, don't be so dramatic Usagi; it's just a bit of walking and court gossip. We haven't even touched the more difficult subjects yet. I mean, there's ballroom dancing, dinner etiquette… truly, this is the easy bit."

That was painful to hear. "Lovely. Now, what part of your ridiculously oversized palace shall I be lurking about today?"

"The kitchens, servant's passages, and perhaps the servants chambers if we have time."

Yes, I was definitely being punished.

* * *

Joining the revolution had turned out to be something of a dull affair.

"Just… _look_ at it. Dig deep and _see_." These were, admittedly, not the best words of encouragement, but after nearly an hour of watching Rei stare down the lit candle in front of her in a failed attempt to spark a vision, I figured mediocre encouragement was better than no encouragement. I was proved wrong, however, when said words fell short as Rei abandoned her course of action to instead shoot me a loathsome look.

"I'm _trying_." She snapped. "This isn't working though, the flame is too small, and I've never done this outside of the shrine before. There are _rules,_ alright? I don't get to decide when or what the fire shows me. It's a sacred ritual and that means holy ground with a proper flame and prayers to nourish the vision. All I have to work with is a dusty old warehouse and- and the most _pitiful_ wisp of fire!"

The two of us glanced back at the candle –one us sporting a rather nasty glare, and the other a considering look- and, I had to admit, it was indeed rather unassuming to behold, especially after taking into account the kind of flames Rei usually worked with.

But still. "You were the one mooning over the damn thing and its supposed properties not two days before. I paid for that candle; it wasn't cheap. Use. It."

The priestess slumped back in her chair. "Let's come back to it later; I seriously need a break."

With a huff I dropped the subject, resigned to leave it be so long as she actually made some use of the investment. Our funding, like most things, had to pass through Ami and terrible duo that was Minako and Kunzite, before being approved, and every month we had to hand over a list of purchases. Ami wouldn't turn her nose up at any books, and Minako saw the benefit in most of the crap our division stocked up on; however, if either of them had caught wind of this obscenely expensive candle, Rei would have been skinned alive for having spent so much on a single(questionable) item. I took care to blow out the tiny flame before falling into my own chair.

The clock on the wall read 2:30 A.M.

"You've got school in like, five hours Rei."

"So would you," she groused, "If you'd stop being a brat and go back with us. Ami got the boys into Mamoru's school, and it'd be even easier with you; all you'd have to do is show up with a note."

"Like hell."

I'd eat glass before going back to middle school. It was such a complete waste of time. College… that was something I wouldn't mind getting back to one day, but I wasn't going to sit through a repetition of my childhood to get there. "You know, I could've held down the fort by myself. Aren't you going to be tired?"

Rei shrugged. "I'm used to it. We were doing this sort of thing before winter break settled in anyway. With thirteen of us switching out shifts, it isn't as though I'm constantly doing all-nighters."

That was fair. "I could've done this shift-thing myself though."

"As if." That was also fair. I didn't really know how to use the mega computer yet, despite having grown up with far more advanced technology. If something went wrong –and it would, given my history- Ami would have Rei's head for leaving an untrained Usagi at the wheel while she got some sleep. With a hum of defeat my attention wandered to our surroundings, looking for something to occupy myself with before boredom set in.

Idleness truly did not suit me.

Of course, there wasn't anything new about the haphazardly space.

The same six desks making an L-shape along the corner wall, the same four bookcases that made a pitiful screen between us and the rest of the warehouse –giving the very false illusion of privacy-, and the same… well, _wasteland_ that was our pseudo office. Of those six desks that took up this cozy corner of the warehouse, only one belonged to me, and it was easily distinguishable from the others in that it was the only clean one.

Rei, for some ungodly reason, had _three_ desks and they were all in various states of disarray; she insisted it was "Organized chaos" and that "A newbie like you wouldn't understand" and to "Give it a few weeks". Jadeite, for his part, had claimed the furthest desk as his own early on -I suspected the cluttered state the general's work area was at least a quarter of Rei's mess spilling over- and whenever Mamoru came to lend a hand he was appointed one of Rei's disaster areas and set to work.

Though in all fairness Parapsychology was not the neatest of studies.

Everything, and I did mean everything, we read about had to be tested ourselves, _nothing_ could be trusted without us first having authenticated it. Why? Because, unfortunately, there was no exact method to telling fact from myth and as a trio with firsthand experience concerning the paranormal phenomena of this world (visions, the force, reincarnation, astral projection) we couldn't fully rely on the word of what likely amounted to a handful of ordinary scholars and a few fanatics.

So part of the job description was collecting and experimenting.

Drawers full of herbs and "remedies", various crystals, alchemic materials, the occasional occult trinket, and what looked to be electronic devices, all of which may or may not stay true to their intended uses. This wasn't even to mention the countless books, articles, _scrolls_ – and by god I still couldn't read any of it without a resulting headache-, and other published works. Every drawer, of all six desks, was filled to the brim with god only knew what (the bottom left drawer of my desk rattled at times. not one of us was brave enough to open it and investigate) and, as much as it pained me to say it, that wasn't even the whole of our work.

Researching meant writing down theories, all mechanisms of the experiment, and then its results. Minako wanted weekly reports and Ami insisted on daily logs. Sometimes we would have entire books with a handful of pages that were accurate even when the rest was rubbish. Those pages would be marked, and then transcribed into a notebook to _then_ later be made into a book (whenever we would get the funding for that endeavor).

Useless books went in the useless book pile, and once a week Ami apparently swept by to snatch them up and… well, I didn't know where she stored them because I hadn't seen them in her office, but she did something with them. Other texts that looked like they might have potential later on went onto the last bookcase to be looked over at a later date; those were the books that we just didn't have the time or resources or sanity to work on. They went on the last bookcase because taking books off our individual ones was Not Okay, and potentials were supposed to be up for grabs.

So, yes, there was quite a bit of work involving the details of our division's work.

But that didn't mean Rei had to be such a hog.

My desk remained free of any and all Mt. Rei eruption not by luck, insistence, or verbal reasoning, but by the power of vindication and a brand new shredding machine. Every time something landed on my desk, I made a grand show of giving it a proper funeral before sticking it into the shredder. Sometimes Mamoru would join me to say a few words about the dearly deceased and every now and then we'd leave the remains on one of Rei's desks for her to find later on.

I was in the midst of admiring the shredder once more when a shiver made its way up my back, curtesy of the spiteful glare my companion was no doubt leveling at me. For obvious reasons, Rei didn't appreciate the shredder, _especially_ when she caught me looking at it 'like a schoolgirl in love'.

I slid a smug glance her way and arched a brow.

Instead of rising to the challenge as she so often did –and wasn't _that_ a breath of fresh air, interacting with someone willing to play petty and push just as many buttons- Rei let out a puff of air and slumped forward onto her disorganized desk. Which, you know, never a good sign. "Hey, I was wondering…" She kept her gaze trained on the desk. "About that note, have you made any progress with it?"

I considered said note, now hidden at Rei's place with my pointless books; the paper was wrinkled from my dip in the pond, but oddly enough the ink hadn't smudged at all. Not the printed words or the gold script. "I'm still working on it."

Meaning I had no clue.

I figured if it was just someone messing with me, they'd get bored with my lack of response and reveal themselves eventually. The Sappho quote… well, it was vaguely familiar, the poet one I thought I might have run across in Latin class. That had been a ways back though, and I hadn't been the most attentive of students either so whether it had any real significance was anyone's guess. In the more likely scenario that the sender had unpleasant plans at work… well, they would also reveal themselves sooner or later.

Either way I was a bit busy with another project at the moment.

"Do you think whoever sent it could be… an ally?"

That startled me out of my musings. I blinked, focusing back in on Rei's inquisitive features. My brow furrowed as I replayed her words carefully, wondering briefly if I'd misheard; but no, she was really asking me that. I smothered a snort. "A troublemaker perhaps, or even an adversary; an ally, however, the sender is surely not."

Her stare turned flinty. She didn't like my answer. "How do you know for sure?"

And this time I did laugh. "Because, in case you haven't noticed, I am not someone prone to making more allies than enemies; nor am I the kind of person that inspires the help of others. I'm more likely to get a mortal enemy than I am to receive a- a helpful stalker or whatever you seem to think this person is."

"I don't agree." Of course she didn't. Rei pressed her lips together and, after a deep sigh, added, "There's something I have to tell you, but the others… I haven't told them yet, and I'm not sure I should, so don't say anything."

"…Well, alright." I replied cautiously, feeling that this was somehow going to come back to bite me in the ass, and yet unable to tear myself from the promise of unknown intel.

Damn my thirst for information.

"Do you remember when we met up back in the Dark Kingdom, and the two of us fell into that hole?" Ah, yes, the hole she'd blown into the ground and had then proceeded to tackle me into. Rei's gaze narrowed, as though sensing my train of thought and _daring_ me to open that can of worms. I merely nodded, and she continued. "You recognized the sword at my side and had asked where I'd gotten it –in a rather ominous fashion, I should add. I told you-"

"That it appeared before you, I know." In a great hour of need just like the sword of Godric Gryffindor. Alone that comparison sounded completely ridiculous, but after meeting an alien and a time traveler, a magic sword hardly felt all that outlandish. I mean, after all the bullshit I'd endured who was I to scoff at a little more magic?

Rei's glare was sharp enough to cut. " _Yes_ , it appeared before me, but as usual you're missing the point."

"Correction. Seeing things differently does not mean I'm _missing the point_ ; it just means I disagree."

"Usagi, _shut up_ and let me _get to my point_."

"Oh, right."

She turned her chair to face me fully and sighed yet again. I was half-tempted to throw in another quip but the thought died as Rei's expression fell into something truly grim and the easy air fouled between us. I felt myself straightening in my own chair as Rei raked a hand through her dark hair almost violently. She didn't start though, didn't meet me gaze, and after a few moments of visibly _seeing_ the frustration build in her, I quietly prompted, "The Sword of the Silver Crystal appeared before you..."

"Yes." She let out a wretched laugh. "A sacred relic of the Moon Kingdom appeared before me exactly when I needed it most. Let me repeat that for you. A _sacred relic_ of the Moon Kingdom, that should've been _in_ the Moon Kingdom, _appeared before me_. What's more, it didn't happen the first time I transformed into Sailor Mars, or during any of my battles against our _greatest enemy_ ; no, only once I was in the Dark Kingdom did it appear, _exactly_ when I needed it most."

"You don't know, Usagi, so I'll tell you," Rei smiled, and there was nothing kind about it. "The others were to be the distraction while Jadeite and I slipped in and rescued you. The problem was, we were in the _heart_ of the Dark Kingdom, there were youma crawling everywhere and I was in dire need of a way to fight them off without draining too much energy, so I could find you and still have the strength to get us both out afterward.

"Jadeite was our guide, he couldn't risk seriously injury or drain least he become unable to lead us out. Do you get it now? In the exact same flash of golden light that your note appeared, I was given the means to make it through the Dark Kingdom, find you, and complete the rescue mission. That sword? It probably saved our lives. Whoever sent you that note had a hand in keeping us alive long enough to destroy the Dark Kingdom once and for all."

I stared, stunned as the possibility presented itself.

But that wasn't right, that couldn't be right because it wasn't supposed to happen in the first place, there wasn't anyone to _send_ anything. Not only that, but for what Rei was suggesting to be true, for the sword to have been sent not to Minako, who was the leader of the Sailor Scouts, but instead to her –to _Rei_ who'd been charged with finding me, Rei who had needed to conserve her power- at that moment and no earlier, for that to have worked… Someone would've needed to be watching, and for quite some time.

Oh, how _stupid_ of me.

From the very moment I laid eyes on that sword I'd known something was off, I had known it and then once all was said and done I'd dismissed the damn thing, dismissed it like I had all else that had felt off regarding that day. It had just been easier to let it go, make the easy assumption so that I could lock the memory away and focus on recovering from the sheer hell that day had been. But now that I knew, now that the idea was out there it had the potential to change _everything_. "We tell no one."

"What? B-'"

" _No one._ " My tone was savage. Sitting was killing me. I shoved out of my chair and began pacing our corner on the warehouse. "This is… _shit_. No, okay; we keep this between us, minimize the damage, assess the situation."

Yes, that could work. Knowing was the first step, knowing gave us an advantage especially if no one knew that we knew. Know, plan, act.

"Hang on, pause." Rei stood as well, grabbing my upper arm and yanking me to a halt as I passed her. "I realize you have some weird complex thought process, but I'm just not following so spit it out."

"A _third party_ Rei!" I waved for emphasis. "We're dealing with a _third party_ , and it isn't some little helper elf trying to lend us a hand! The Holy Sword should be in the Moon Kingdom, on the freaking _moon_. Whoever gave it to you had access, and not only that but they were _watching_ , waiting for the right moment."

"Someone had the ability to step in and they chose not to then." Her lips pursed. "Not a friend, I get it. So then… with all the secrecy, there must be something at stake here. Usagi, the Order has to hear about this if it's a threat; we have to be on the lookout, and there's a very real possibility that the Princess could be in danger."

I froze.

Serenity couldn't be brought back to this, back to a world with an unknown enemy lurking around. There would always be enemies, sure, but this was someone that might very well have been watching us _from the beginning_ , a threat the order had never faced before. This needed to be dealt with. I would _not_ bring her back to a world where someone might be lying in wait for her return.

"…Unacceptable." I fixed Rei with a dark look. "We tell no one."

"But-"

" _We. Tell. No one._ " My tone was deadly. "We don't know who we're dealing with here, or how close this person is to us at this point in time. We're going to analyze the situation, the risk, and then we are going to clear the Order, one by one. If everyone ends up being innocent, great, but even then we're going to _keep our mouths shut_."

"Fine." Her features were grim, lips curled. "I don't like it, and I _know_ it isn't any of our people, but if you want to start with the Order we'll do it your way. However, I don't like keeping this from them; they have a right to know once they've been proven innocent."

"No." My answer was harsh and immediate and, at her snarling expression I forced myself to calm down and explain. "I get it, okay? They're your trusted comrades and unwavering loyalty makes this seem like the wrong decision, but you need to set those feelings aside. Innocent or not, you just don't trust a group of people with a secret of this degree. That's how you lose said secret. If we tell the order, they start getting a little paranoid, a little jumpy, and to anyone watching that's a clear sign they might have been caught out. It's sloppy, Rei, and I don't do sloppy."

I expected her to argue her point some more, but she didn't, and that was even more worrying. Rei's eyes simmered, and not with any sort or resignation or defeat; rather, she seemed to be steeling herself. With a vague sense of unease I realized she was holding her temper, saving that rage for our target. Poor bastard.

"I've seen you get things done," Rei began, voice low and heated, "So I'm willing to follow your lead here. Don't keep everything to yourself though, Tsukino; you aren't a one man show anymore, and secrets _hurt the team_ , got it?"

Well, she wasn't wrong. "Got it."

"Great. So… we just do this ourselves?"

"No, that isn't going to work either." At her impatient stare I gave a long suffering sigh. "Obviously two people isn't going to be enough; even when I was working on my own I played other people up to my advantage. So, we clear the Order one by one and we bring in whoever will be of real value. Everyone else, despite their good intentions, would only be dead weight and in the way."

"What a mess." She raked a hand through her dark locks. "Where do we even start?"

The next moment was a rare occasion, where our thoughts appeared to follow the same line of reasoning to the very same conclusion. After all, when faced with an unknown threat and a room full of suspects, you wanted to clear the person with the highest potential to be devastating on either side of the board. Someone that would ultimately amount to either a lethal ally, or a deadly opponent; and really, when you looked at the Order and their individual skills it was obvious who needed to be cleared first.

We would begin with Ami.

* * *

"So where are we going?" Rini inquired as I towed her down the street. "And why can't I tell anyone?"

"We," I began playfully, giving her a conspiring grin, "are going on a top secret mission to an undisclosed location, and you can't tell because it's _top secret_. Of course, it's official Guardian of the Moon business, so I'll understand if you don't think you can handle it…"

"I can!" She puffed up. "Really, I can handle it!"

"Yeah, I thought so too."

Rini preened, and I snorted as we made our way towards the east end of the Azabu-Juuban district. Urgency nipped at my heels, prompting me to pick up the pace and I forced myself to remain at a casual walk, one my teeny companion could match. There wasn't any actual need to rush; what I was feeling was, for lack of a better term, that Cookie Jar Instinct.

A compulsion to flee the scene of the crime, if you will.

Today had been Rini's first day back at school –it'd been everyone's, actually- and as an adult I knew that pulling a kid out early on the first day back, for nonemergency reasons, was _not_ an acceptable course of action. It was only an hour and a half early, but I knew that when Makoto or Mamoru went to pick her up after school only to find she wasn't there… Yeah, they were going to be angry.

Hence my intense desire to haul ass across town before they figured it out.

It was kind of funny how utterly spoiled Rini was by all members of the Order. She spent her nights floating between homes, though most often either Makoto or Mamoru's apartment. Supposedly Naru had pulled some strings for the Generals, and each of them had procured small apartments not too far from their beloved Prince; this apparently led to dinners and, once in a blue moon, _slumber parties_ upon Rini's insistence.

There was always someone making the kid's lunches, walking her to and from school, someone available to help with her homework, etcetera, etcetera. If there was a more pampered seven year old on this planet then I wanted to meet that brat and do a comparison. For a Crown Princess of Earth, Rini struck me as oddly… well, starved for attention. She was bratty in a way only someone treated like royalty could be, and yet for reasons I didn't understand she seemed to revel when anyone gave her their undivided attention.

I tugged lightly at the hand in mine. "Hey, I'm curious… who did you spend most of your time with in Crystal Tokyo?"

Being reigning monarch, I doubted Serenity had a plethora of time to shower Rini with attention. Mamoru was king, sure, but did that mean he was equally busy? And if so, who was in charge of looking after Rini day to day?

Rini tilted her head up at me, a curious gleam in her gaze. "Nia, nee-chan, used to eat and play with me and teach me things, but she went away a few years ago."

And Rini had felt alone ever since?

That was… hm.

Rini squeezed my hand. "How much further?"

"Not far. Five minutes."

By now we had left the business and shopping quarter behind, having found our way into one of the area's nicer neighborhoods. It fell somewhere around upper middle class, the houses larger than what I was used to in the Tsukino's neighborhood but not big enough to be considered wealthy by any means. Another few minutes of walking brought us to our destination –a two story house perched on the corner of the block.

The front gate was open, and as we stopped in front of it, Rini realized the house was our destination and she immediately turned a scrutinizing eye to it. Brick wall lined the property just like many of the other houses on this block. Past the small, iron wrought gate a concrete path led right up to the front door. The house itself was pretty, white siding with grey accents; grey slated roof, grey shutters, grey door. The neutral colors meant it wasn't all that eye catching but I thought it had potential; the yard was small by my American standards, sure, but there was definitely enough room for a garden and a bright splatter of flowers under the windows and around the house would give it that personal touch.

I led the two of us through the gate and up to the house, spotting a familiar car in the driveway as we went.

"Just follow my lead, okay?" I waited for Rini to nod her agreement before plastering on a friendly smile and knocking twice.

After a moment the door opened to reveal an older, balding man. He paused, eyeing Rini at my side and then doing a quick scan behind us before settling on me. Though his gaze was not kind, he at least had the decency to present a somewhat amiable expression as he said, "Ah, Tsukino-san. I was under the impression that you would be coming with your father this time. I'm afraid I can do no further business with your family if he isn't present."

"He's on his way from work, Yamada-san." My reply was easy, accompanied by a shrug. "We were told to meet him here right after school. It's a bit could out though and I don't think my sister should be out too long in this sort of weather. Do you mind us waiting inside?"

Yamada glanced down at Rini's rosy cheeks and pink nose, and then frowned, stepping back to allow us entry. "Your father will not be long, I hope?"

I shuffled my 'sister' in and gave him a winning smile. "There's a bit of traffic."

Yamada frowned some more, shutting the door behind us.

Rini and I slipped out of our shoes in the entry hall and into the slippers provided, the two of us peering around the interior. Though I had seen pictures and floor plans through email, being in the house itself was interesting. Past the entry, the tile ended and hardwood flooring began. The hall itself wasn't much longer than the one at the Tsukino Residence, though the layout was entirely different. The first archway on the left opened into a living room rather than a kitchen, and directly across the hall was an open doorway and then a closed door that looked more like a closet then the half bathroom I knew it to be.

We started with the open door, poking our heads into the empty room briefly –checking for water stains and possible damage- before making our way to the living room space. I admired the white walls, wood flooring, and pretty bay window as Rini dragged me along in her curiosity to see the rest of the place. Another archway opened up into the kitchen, which was thankfully tiled. Boring brown cabinets and missing fridge aside, it was decently sized. No dishwasher, sure, but there was lots of cabinet space and like the outside of the house it had potential.

Rini wrinkled her nose at the slight stain from where the fridge had been and I laughed. "Come on, lets look at the rest of the place."

And we did.

At the end of the hall we found the dining room, and next to that another living room of sorts though this one was smaller (a den? A plant room?). Then it was back into the hall and up the stairs to the second floor. There were four bedrooms of varying sizes, a master (with its own bathroom), and then three smaller bedrooms and a shared bathroom. White walls, wood floors, and big windows. By the time Rini and I had seen everything Yamada had lost whatever good will he'd had; we were ordered into the kitchen.

"I have other clients to see to, Tsukino-san." He informed me through slightly clenched teeth. "It's been fifteen minutes. If he doesn't arrive in the next five I'll be leaving and his bid on the house will be forfeited."

I blinked. "Where are the papers?"

"…Papers?" Yamada lip curled, though he seemed taken aback.

"The papers? The deed and contract my father will need to sign? The Home Inspection papers?"

I might have sounded a little condescending, but it did the job. Yamada flushed and muttered something about them being in his car, though I didn't catch the full of it as he shot me a warning look that said _touch anything and you will die_ , before scuttling away to retrieve them. As soon as he was out of sight I bent down to match eye level with Rini. "Okay, pop quiz; what do you think of that man?"

"He's rude." She stated it immediately, expression twisted in distaste. "Commoners have more manners at home."

"Er, right." Crown Princess indeed. "Anyway, do you think Yamada-san will sign over the house to us as things are?"

Rini's brows furrowed and, after a moment, she shook her head.

No, Yamada wasn't going to sell us this house; that much had been clear from the get-go. Oh, over the phone he had been amiable enough, hadn't had a problem when 'Tsukino-san' said he'd had half the down payment now and could get him the rest in a month; the problem had come when we'd met face to face. No person in their right mind was going to sell a house to a minor, and that was fair enough.

Without a certain disguise pen to fool the man into believing I was an adult, I had merely resorted to a few tricks (Fake emails, paid college dude pretending to be father dearest) to get my way. I was just a teen helping her busy father pick the perfect home for the family. It had all been fine, until a few days ago when I had gone to meet with Yamada at his office in place of 'father'.

And then Yamada had raised the price, had _doubled_ it.

Apparently, he thought he could take advantage of a young girl to get more money out of a deal than appropriate. Now, I'd always intended to use… _unsavory_ means to procure this house; I had come prepared for this eventuality because, as I'd said before, nobody was going to sell to a teenager. The only difference was that now, I didn't feel nearly so guilty about what I was about to do. The guy was trash anyway; I was getting this house, and I would certainly pay (in monthly increments, as I wasn't made of money), but only for what it was worth.

"This house… it's very important, for us, for the future." I forced a smile. "But I can't get it by myself, so I need your help. What do you say, Rini? Are you up to making history and adding to the legacy of Sailor Moon?"

It was wrong. I was manipulating a child into committing a super shady act, one that was likely(definitely) illegal. I knew all of this, and I was doing it anyway.

For Serenity.

So that when she returned to the world, she had a home to come back to. It wasn't anything grand, not compared to what Serenity was used to, but it would do for now. It was a house for an average girl, and until she decided she wanted more that was what Serenity would get the chance to be. The place was a work in progress, to be sure; it still needed furniture, kitchenware, food and whatnot but… but it was a step forward. The rest could come in time.

Rini observed me. "You want me to trick him like I did with your parents."

Smart girl. "Yes. It's your choice though. I wouldn't be angry if you said no."

"…I can do that." She replied. There was something in her gaze as she glanced around the house, something I didn't quite understand. At the front of the house a door opened and shut. Rini looked at me and nodded to herself. "Yeah, I'll do it."

I wanted to make a comment, or pose a question, but there wasn't time. Yamada strolled back into the kitchen, a leather portfolio in hand and I stood. Then, to my faint horror, Rini, without even batting an eye, turned her creepy ball into an umbrella _right in front of Yamada_. His shock lasted about three seconds. Just as the umbrella began to spin hypnotically, entrancing the business man and subjugating him to Rini's oddly well-thought-out will, a thought occurred to me.

I hadn't gotten the chance to specify precisely _what_ I wanted Yamada to think.

* * *

A/N

Shorter chapter than we're used to, but a chapter nonetheless. I wanted to include a Rei P.O.V. but it just wasn't working yet. Anyway, since I've got the time I wanted to answer a question, address another commonly asked question, and give some news.

 **YanaSky** asked me an interesting question regarding Usagi, and it boils down to something along the lines of _How come Usagi, with her constant (unhealthy) state of fear and paranoia, hasn't ever considered committing suicide to escape the horrors of her situation?_ It's a good question really, and I'm glad to answer it.

Normally, yes, I would imagine a perpetual state of fear/paranoia would be enough to drive someone to such an act. The thing is though, Usagi is in this situation _because_ she died. She correlates the trauma she's experiencing here with death, since that's what got her into this mess to begin with. You'll see from time to time a sort of wavering where she'll think back to that comforting nothingness, but ultimately it's not even remotely an option. People… they don't ever really want to die. What they want is a better life than whatever shit they're forced to live through. They want out of that bad situation, the waking nightmare and sometimes, for some people, death looks like an escape.

But what if death was what _brought_ you into that bad situation? What then?

It wouldn't look like much of an out then, now would it? Especially, _especially_ when dying the first time had been against your will. It's something you'll see in a lot of my stories, because it's a concept I really enjoy. Living is hard. Sometimes you hit rock bottom and dying looks like a way out of your suffering. The thing about humans is that we're resilient and really damn stubborn. Living might be hard but if there's something or someone out there trying to kill you? Trying to make that choice _for you?_

Well, you're gonna live a full life just to spite them.

I also get a lot of questions about what other Sailor Moon fics I know of, ones that have SIs or OCs or even just feature a strong Usagi. To be honest, I haven't really seen any SIs or OCs and at this point I'm starting to doubt their existence; I haven't checked in the past year or so though, and these days I hardly have the time. That there doesn't seem to be more than three or four SI fics is so unbelievably wasteful considering the sheer potential this universe has. I _know_ a good many of you have the talent to write up a Sailor Moon fanfic, so why aren't you doing it? You guys know what you want to read.

Go. Write. It.

I'm thinking of doing a side-fic to RotM once it ends. Maybe from Minako's perspective; meeting Artemis, receiving Usagi's alarming letter and everything leading up to the reveal of Sailor Moon. Or maybe something from the second Silver Millennium, past where RotM will end. Either way it wouldn't be from Usagi's perspective.

In other news, I started a poll for those of you that read my other fics!

It's basically a sort of "What Fic Would You Like To Read Next?" since I couldn't keep track of all the answers via reviews on E&R and PMs. The poll can be found on my page (though I don't think it works on phones) so vote if you feel up to it.

With that said,

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!

P.S. Still don't have my Adderall, still suffering infinitely but what's new, right?

P.P.S. I _know_ I'm forgetting something here.

P.P.P.S. If any of you figure out what I'm forgetting, do tell. (please and thank you)


	22. Chapter 22

A/N

Happy birthday to Darkangelmi128, who guilted me into finishing this chapter and posting it. (Sorry, I'm a wee bit late). I also added a little surprise at the end, which I hadn't intended but hey, it works.

Disclaimer: Neither I nor Darkangelmi818 own Sailor Moon and it's characters… yet.

* * *

In the end, what mattered was that I did indeed get the house.

It was a little chaotic there for a moment, and by no means did any of it go according to plan, but hey, life and lemons. I mean, Rini might have jumped the gun just the teensiest bit –Yamada had taken to calling me Tsukino-sama, despite my insistence that he not- and yeah, I'd had to call the guy a taxi as he had seemed far too dazed and out of it to be driving, but it was just a minor bump in the road, a small hiccup. I had a house ready for Serenity, meaning the first part of this little project was over with and I could now move on to other things.

Like… that insidious third party. Or the long overdue conversation I needed to have with Serenity about the many, many topics I'd been steadily avoiding such as what happened in the Dim Kingdom, and how she didn't seem to be in the loop much anymore, possibly because she was using her energy on other things. There was also the whole Getting-To-The-Future issue so I could retrieve potential information on how to revive Serenity and not die in the process. Oh, and that odd feeling I had about Minako that just wouldn't go away. Not to mention my impending demise and the fact that I had absolutely no idea how to fix my friendship with Matsuo, _especially_ considering I had a mountain of secrets to hide and was actually using the Order he treasured so much to achieve my own ends.

…Yes… Lots of work to be done.

"You okay? Usagi-chan?" Fingers snapped in front of my face, and I blinked. Matsuo hovered next to my chair at the conference table, features twisted in concern. For whatever reason, I found my gaze wandering across the warehouse to the first office, where Kunzite was attempting to discuss something with his Prince. Though it appeared that Mamoru was listening to him, his eyes were on me, expression matching Matsuo's.

I turned back to my friend, blandly offering, "It's been a long day."

"That's right, you had the night shift." His grin was faint. "exciting stuff, huh?"

"I watched Rei stare down a candle. It was thrilling."

"An eventful night."

Thoughts of the still pristine golden script on that wrinkled note, of Rei's simmering gaze, floated to the forefront of my mind. _We tell no one._ "I'm sure there'll be no shortage of those in the coming weeks, given my track record."

Matsuo, the jerk, didn't even deny it.

Arms crossed, he leaned against the table and let out a puff of air, attention moving to Makoto and Nephrite and whatever report they appeared to be working on for Ami across the table. In turn I drifted back into unpleasant thoughts, fingers tapping against the arm of my chair almost subconsciously as I mentally constructed a list of sorts.

Side projects: furnish the house, perfect my body-double lessons, resume aikido.

Serenity's return, while important and a top priority, could not be accomplished until a few other issues were resolved. I needed to investigate this third player, find them and assess the risk they presented, and while I was at it I might as well touch base on the lingering suspicion that was Minako. I also needed to finish the mental outline for the Crystal Tokyo plan; I had a vague idea of how I wanted to go about it, but factoring in all the possible mishaps and securing a contingency plan was critical. The Black Moon Clan… I'd have to cut off their access to the past while in Crystal Tokyo if possible.

At the very least I figured I should make a bare minimal attempt.

It'd be one less enemy to interfere.

As for the other issues…. Well, I'll get there when I get there, bigger fish to fry and all that. There was one more thing I wanted to get done today while I had the chance, and incidentally it just so happened that a majority of the conditions needing to be met in order for me to do so were… well, _being met_.

I nudged Matsuo's hip with my elbow. "Do you wanna get out of here? I think my pillow is calling out to me. _Come, Usagi, come and rest your gorgeous head on my plush, feather stuffed form._ "

"I wouldn't be surprised." He murmured, pushing off the table. "But yeah, it's getting late anyway and _some_ of us have school in the morning."

"My condolences." I ducked the halfhearted swipe sent my way, a small laugh slipping out. I caught the glance he sent across the table as I stood, stretching, and I wasn't sure whether to laugh or be miffed with my friend; really, he was making it too easy. "Are we walking her home tonight then?"

"Makoto-chan has the night shift tonight. Let me tell her goodnight and then we can head out."

I waved him off.

He didn't even question it, just trotted over to the other end of the table. Nephrite looked supremely uncomfortable as the couple began speaking in soft, gentle tones and suddenly the General had a newfound fascination with the buttons on the cuffs of his school shirt. When Matsuo was finished Makoto had a faint blush on her cheeks and Nephrite's expression was something along the lines of nauseated.

I savored the image as we departed.

After a few blocks of walking, Matsuo suggested we hail a cab and split the fare. As the temperature in Tokyo currently fell somewhere between Frozen Tundra and The Ninth Circle of Hell, I had zero problems with that.

"There aren't going to be any cabs around this neighborhood though." I felt compelled to point out. Seriously, this district was a dead zone for all living things; I couldn't recall ever spotting a single bug or animal in any of the times I'd had the misfortune of finding myself around here. The only things that grew were weeds and the occasional tuff of persistent grass.

"Then I guess you better pick up the pace, midget."

If it wasn't so cold, I might have kicked him; sadly, that would mean prolonging our walking time and, as I said before, it was just too damn cold for such a sacrifice. We walked for another fifteen minutes before finding civilization –and therefore cab drivers. It began to flurry just then, and I tugged my hat further down over my head as Matsuo found us a taxi and all but shoved me into it. I welcomed the warmth, and pretended not to see the smug look on his face as both my and his shivering eased.

"Where to?" The cabbie prompted us.

"North-east part of town please." I quickly said. "By Juuban Square. Do you know the place?"

The cabbie man made an affirmative noise, started the meter and we were off. There was a moment of silence where I could feel the alarm of my companion next to me, but refused to acknowledge it.

"…We're not going home." Matsuo stated.

"Nope."

"…You said we were going home."

"Well, we aren't."

Another moment of silence, where Matsuo accepted that he had been tricked, mentally backtracked on the last half hour, and conclusively said, "You knew we wouldn't be walking Makoto-chan back tonight."

I leveled him with a stare, because of course I'd known.

There was a set rotation of which Order member would be at Elysion headquarters for the night shift and what other members would be on call. That was extremely useful information to have, so why wouldn't I have memorized it right away? Matsuo wasn't going to think too closely on it though. He wasn't going to see the correct conclusion, though it should be clear as day. I didn't blame him though; had our positions switched even my paranoid mind wouldn't make the connection, at least not right away.

No, he wouldn't realize the potential that information had given me to work with. There was a reason I'd volunteered for last night's shift, a reason I had chosen today to be the one where I procured the house and later confirmed a theory of my own. Last night Rei and I had been on the night shift, but it was Jadeite and, more importantly, _Ami_ , that had been on call; it was no secret that whoever was on call wouldn't be sleeping all that well.

Getting the timing right had been tricky.

Pulling Rini out of school an hour and a half early had been just enough time to get us across town, procure the house, and then quickly haul ass to a café two neighborhoods over, only a few minutes before the elementary school would've finished for the day. It took them twenty minutes to track us down to a café I hadn't been to before; twenty minutes when I hadn't left any clues other than my name to the teacher, when I had stashed Rini's ball and her new communication bracelet in an alleyway across the street.

They hadn't been tracking her.

After my shenanigans the spotlight was on me, and I was likely to be checked up on. Only, with Ami tired from the night before, and Makoto at the wheel, there were two people more likely to be checked on throughout the night. Rini, who had given Makoto a scare, and, of course, Matsuo. If, late at night, I went to a place not normally associated with me? That'd be weird. However, if I wasn't alone, and the person with me was known to frequent said place… well, no one was going to think much on it.

The only person that was going to look back on this night any time in the future was Matsuo, and even then I wasn't too concerned about it.

People only ever saw what they wanted to see.

* * *

It was a short walk from Juuban Square, and I did not waste time.

"Who all knows I used to work there?"

Matsuo sent an unimpressed glance my way. "Just Mamoru, Jadeite, and Nephrite."

"So the girls never heard about it?"

"No." He pressed his lips together. "You left. It wasn't exactly a conversation starter."

Ouch. "Does-"

"Yes, Makoto-chan visits me at work from time to time. It's no secret that I work there. Sometimes the others tag along."

"Why?" my voice turned more accusing then intended but I continued anyway, irritation welling. "They shouldn't hang around when none of them have any business being there."

"Well you weren't around, were you?" he snapped.

"Oh, and what? _You_ weren't capable of stopping them? You, who knows the risk?"

"They aren't hurting anything."

"They know the risks." I told him. "You know the risks. But Harumi? His employees, and Hajime-sensei? They _don't_. None of them have given their consent, they don't know the danger that follows people like the Sailor Scouts and it isn't fair to them."

Matsuo stopped dead and leveled me with a _look_.

"…If it was any other place," He began lowly, "any other place in Tokyo, you wouldn't be bothered. So don't lecture me on the morality of it, because you aren't concerned for the commonwealth. Hell, I doubt you're even all that concerned about our co-workers."

And that was telling, wasn't it?

Because no, I didn't particularly worry for any of those people; my co-workers had always been little more than strangers with the same job. I had never been interested in their personal lives, their wellbeing. At the end of the day the space in my heart was limited and I did not (could not) waste time or emotions on anyone less than worthy. Maybe that made me a lesser woman, but caring for the world only to see it fall bit by bit… that would have broken me.

I was not Tsukino Usagi; I did not have that kind of strength.

I met Matsuo's stare head on. "We don't drag Harumi into this. We don't involve him, and we don't involve Hajime-sensei."

His expression crumbled a bit, a flash a disappointment in his gaze. He'd wanted me to deny it. Finally, with a deep exhale, Matsuo nodded and began walking again. "Fine, we won't involve them."

"You'll tell the others to back off?"

"Yeah." He ran a few fingers through his hair. "Yeah, I will."

Watching his back, the widening distance between us, hurt. I matched his pace and tugged my hat down, the two of us falling into silence after that. I focused on the soft rhythmic _crunch_ of our boots on snow, the muffled sounds of the city, still bustling even at this hour; cars driving down streets of half slush and half salt, shop owners sweeping a thin layer of gathered snow from their front entrances, the occasional city dweller passing by with a warm beverage or a steamed bun in hand. We rounded a corner and The Fabler came into sight.

My heart clenched. "I'm sorry."

Sorry I couldn't be what he wanted me to. Sorry that I felt no shame for who, for _what_ , I was. Sorry because, despite it all, I had no intentions of changing, no matter how disappointed in me he would ever be –and god, I was going to disappoint him so terribly, when he figured out the truth. Sorry because I wasn't actually remorseful, because how could I be when I was alive, when we were all alive?

Always apologetic, always unwilling to change.

I felt Matsuo's gaze burn into the side of my face. After a moment, I heard him sigh and he threw an arm over my shoulders, tucking me into his side. "It's okay, Usagi-chan."

Then, more quietly, "I am too."

I slipped in the back alley door of the shop with Matsuo, and made 'shoo' motions until he rolled his eyes and made himself scarce. With light footsteps I made my way to the doorway of Harumi's office, and peered in, finding him bent over some documents at his desk. He'd just had a haircut recently, his short red locks cut closer than usual, probably to show off the pearl studs in his ears. Those were new.

Staring at him, I found myself frozen and at something of a loss.

I examined him, an irritating swell of emotion cementing me into place. Harumi was wearing gold eyeshadow today, the glittery kind just a few shades darker then his irises. He still had on the same tailored vest, button down, and slacks, all of which framed him nicely. His winter outfit consisted of a _long sleeved_ button down though and, surprise of all surprises, a _tie_. It was a cute tie, actually; black with little red hearts. I was mildly impressed. Harumi must have finally sensed my presence, because his gaze flicked up almost dismissively before finding my own and freezing.

He blinked, and ever so slowly, rose from his chair.

I waved, and croaked out, "Hi. I'm back, sort of."

"Usagi." Was all he said and then suddenly I was being embraced. I hugged him back, my face buried in his tie and his cheek resting on the crown of my head. I thought I felt him kiss my hair but I couldn't be too sure because then Harumi was shoving us apart and his hands smacked onto either side of my face, pinching my cheeks rather painfully.

"You have some nerve!" He seethed. "Disappearing in the middle of the night, running off on your own for _months!_ In the _middle of winter, no less!_ You could have been hurt! Or kidnapped! How _dare_ you worry me like that! I am _too young_ for gray hair and wrinkles, do you hear me?! TOO YOUNG! I am DELICATE, _delicate,_ and you- rgh!"

"Ouch, alright, I get it!" I tore myself from his grasp none too gently. "I'm delicate too, you know?"

He ran a critical eye over me, and out of habit my posture straightened.

"You need a haircut." Harumi declared, strolling past me. "Come."

And like the good worker puppy I was, I trailed after him.

Harumi plopped me down into the vanity chair in the employee dressing room and went to work with a sort of vicious glee that frankly alarmed me, though I didn't mention it. The few times I caught my reflection in the mirror, I grimaced; I looked like shit, and there was no way in hell Harumi hadn't noticed. Dark circles under my eyes, a bit skinnier than I was a few months back, and perhaps a bit more haunted, a bit more _hunted_. Harumi did something to my hair with layers, curling the ends slightly; I didn't have the heart to mention how in vain it would be. If it made him happy than what the heck, right?

When he was finishing up, I met his gaze through the mirror. "Looks like I'm in need of a job… I'll be around for a while."

He paused.

"Oh? How long?"

I shrugged. "A few months, maybe more. I'm looking for something full time though."

Harumi narrowed his gaze. "Is that so? And how, pray tell, do you plan to work full time with school and aikido?"

I sent him a knowing glance. We both knew I wasn't going back to school. Harumi's lips thinned but he made no move to scold me, instead turning his attention back onto my hair, curling a few strands with his fingers. "I'll work you like a dog. I slaved over your outfit for the Gods of Olympus theme and you just disappear without ever wearing or seeing it. And now I have to come up with a costume for this month's theme on such short notice, so I expect to be reimbursed for my _significant_ trouble."

"Absolutely."

"And I don't want to hear any complaints about what I choose to dress you in."

"That's… fair." Sad, but fair. "Oh, there's something else I've been meaning to ask for your help with, if you're up to it."

He arched a brow. "Shoot."

I grinned. "How much do you know about interior design?"

* * *

I stared at the Pacific Ocean as the Earth continued its lazy rotation, a large expanse of blue dotted by green on either side. Fingers twisted through my locks, braiding deftly, and every once in a while nails would rake gently against my scalp as more hair was pulled into the braid. The courtyard was silent as usual, and I reveled in the stillness while I had the chance. Ever since Rei's little epiphany and the beginning of our hunt a few days back, I had been nonstop busy. It was nice to relax once in a while.

"So, how goes the search for your creepy golem?"

I huffed. "It's a body, - _your_ creepy body, might I add- and the hunt is going… well, not as quickly as I would have liked."

Serenity laughed "See, you say that now, but if I know you then I can say with certainty that you've already planned out your next ten moves. Slow for you is not so slow for the rest of us."

"Yeah, whatever. By the way, what's your favorite color?"

Her hands paused as she considered. "Pink, a light pink. Or perhaps silver or gold. You know, there are quite a few lovely colors."

I hummed in agreement. "I need to go to Crystal Tokyo."

Serenity's grip tightened on my hair. " _What."_

Gently, carefully I detangled her hands from my hair and turned to face her. Serenity's expression was not as understanding as I might have hoped, and I hurriedly explained, "Look, it turns out I need some stuff from Crystal Tokyo, so I'm just going to pop over, grab what I need, and come back."

"Pop over." She said flatly, disbelievingly. "You're just going to… _pop over_ , to the future. The future where the Black Moon Clan is, where _that witch_ is."

It took me a moment to realize she meant Koan.

"Well, yes, but-"

"But nothing! It's dangerous! She nearly killed you the last time!"

"Yes but who's to say she'd be able to accomplish such a feat again?" It was the wrong thing to say. Immediately both our minds jumped to that horrible truth; I was going to die, by unknown causes and at an unknown time. "Look, I have to go. This isn't something I particularly want to do, but I have to in order to get the materials I need. I'm not heading off to war or anything, it's a stealth mission."

"A stealth mission!" She scoffed. "That place is swarming with enemies, Usagi; I would hardly consider it to be anything less than a battle. At least tell me that you plan to take one of the Order with you, someone other than me."

I paused.

It was entirely possible that I had been spending too much time with Serenity, because it took her all of a second to read the hesitation in my expression and come to the right conclusion. With dawning horror, she asked me, "You do intend to take me with you, correct? You wouldn't be so careless as to go to Crystal Tokyo without the Silver Crystal…"

I said nothing.

She paled. "That's suicide."

"Bringing you would be suicide." I murmured. I couldn't take her with me, I _wouldn't_. Everyone was always after the damn Silver Crystal, the Black Moon Clan was after it too and I wasn't about to lose Serenity to them. The Silver Crystal was my strongest defense, but at the moment it contained Serenity's soul and I would sooner die than leave her fate in the hands of an enemy I wasn't sure I could overcome on my own.

"You need the Silver Crystal to transform, to become Sailor Moon." Serenity began, "To go in without it- you might as well lay down and die. I implore you, _please_ , do not go without it. Do not force my hand, or I _will_ find a way to warn the others."

My fists clenched. We stared one another down.

I wasn't certain she could even manage it, what with the issues she'd been having lately –though that was a debate I wasn't ready to get into- but if she did somehow manage to do so… She couldn't tell anyone, she didn't know there might be a traitor among them. I couldn't bring myself to tell her, either; I wanted her to have faith in the people that would one day follow her, I wanted her to be able to feel safe with the Order, because they were going to be her protectors, they were going to be the ones that stayed.

They were going to be the ones that lived.

"Fine." I relented. "I'll take the Silver Crystal with me."

Perhaps that would be for the best; if I left it here, and the Black Moon Clan or a third party got to it, I'd never forgive myself. I go on to inform her I'll need her help getting to the future as soon as possible, and the look I receive is exactly as displeased as I had expected it would be.

Serenity's shoulder's slumped. "You are too hasty; do not act as though you are running out of time, because you are _not_." She said it so firmly, with such conviction that I nearly believed her. I _wanted_ to believe her, to believe that she could somehow stop my prophesized death; the only issue was, I was not in the habit of such things.

If I did not want to die, then I had to make my own counter measures.

I could not put that burden on Serenity.

With a mental sigh I turned my thoughts away from the matter, not wanting to fight with her. It seemed like I was always fighting with those closest to me. My gaze drifted down catching sight of a small fistful of flowers in Serenity's hand. I blinked, belatedly grabbing ahold of the elaborate braid my hair had been styled into to find the very same flowers woven into it. They looked like miniature lilies, the petals a dark, periwinkle blue in the center, fading out to a lighter hue. The edges were white, and each flower was no bigger than a dandelion.

They were stunning.

"Where'd you get those?"

She furrowed her brows. "They grow all over the palace. They're called… well, I can't quite recall what mother used to call them-"

"Moon Lily." I stated. "They are now moon lilies."

She arched a brow. "Is that so?"

I nodded firmly. "I bet they aren't native to earth, so they only grow here, and they are _clearly_ lilies; therefore, _moon lilies_."

The flowers had an ethereal, captivating beauty; they were so obviously otherworldly that there was simply no way they grew on earth. Serenity humored me, and with a regal tone, proclaimed them to be the official flower of the Moon Kingdom. Then, to my dismay, she brushed herself off, stood, and said, "Resting time is over, let's return to the ballroom; your dancing truly is an abomination."

"You're too kind."

* * *

Weeding out the third party was no easy task.

Ami's writing did not match the elegant script, and she seemed to have no connection to any of the other evidence, but that hardly meant she was innocent.

If anything, Rei just wasn't searching through her belongings thoroughly enough.

Of course, it wasn't as though I could do it, what with being tracked. I'd discovered the tracker sewn into the lining of my boot, but unfortunately, discarding it wasn't an option. I preferred to let Ami and the rest think I didn't know I was being tracked until it suited me otherwise. It meant sacrifices, like no longer being able to hide the fact that I worked at the Fabler, but that secret was more or less out in the open. So long as I wasn't bothered there (and so far I hadn't been), I didn't particularly hate the others knowing about it. Well, that wasn't quite true. I did hate it, but again, sacrifices; sometimes in order to get what you want, something else had to be given away.

But I digress.

Rei was looking, sure; the only dilemma was that she was looking not for evidence of guilt, but evidence of innocence. I wanted Ami to be innocent, because fighting her would surely be a nightmare, but at the same time, I wanted the truth more. Rei was making things difficult, or perhaps I was making things difficult. I wasn't used to working with others. Trusting someone else to do the digging, to not miss anything or dismiss an essential detail was… overwhelming.

I did not play well with others.

So I waited, watched the nightly rotation and waited for the right time to do my own digging. That time came a few days later, with Minako on the night watch, and Kunzite and Naru on call. The warehouse was void of the usual noise and movement, quiet save for the sound of Minako flicking through reports. It was long after the others had left, far past the time I should have departed, and perhaps she had thought I had, because when I appeared in the doorway to her office, Minako started faintly in surprise.

She blinked tiredly. "Usagi, what are you doing here?"

"…I used to hate you, you know."

Minako furrowed her brows. "Pardon?"

I leaned against the frame, fingers tapping against my forearms. "In the beginning, when I… awoke, when I finally understood what had happened, I hated you. I mean, I hated all the Sailor Scouts, but I think I hated you just a little more."

It was the first time I had ever truly offered a piece of myself; Minako jumped at the chance, sitting back in her chair to ask, "Why?" rather than taking offense as anyone might.

"Because you were Venus." I began, "You were the first Sailor Scout to get her powers and from the very beginning, you were ready to give your life doing your duty, finding the Princess. So driven, so willing to head into battle. God, I hated you for that. I never wanted this, I tried my damnedest to run from this the very second I understood, and you took up arms like it was nothing, like the choice was so obvious."

I had made a different choice, the decision to not get involved, and it hadn't mattered anyway.

As Minako contemplated this I allowed my gaze to wander the room before falling on the Legendary Sword, now mounted above her desk. The damned thing would surely provide me with some clue as to who sent it, but first I needed to get it.

"You pissed me off before I even knew who you were." Minako eventually told me. "That letter, the moment I got it, the moment it clicked and my hunt began… I was angry. And then I found the others, and Rei found me, and we met you. Words could not describe the amount of trouble you caused me with one little poem."

It wasn't funny, but I laughed anyway. "We were a pain, weren't we?"

"The biggest." She agreed blithely.

I walked over to what must have been Mamoru's desk –neat, sporting a few books from his shelf at home- and hopped up onto it. I'd had plans, clever ideas of how to get the sword and swindle some information out of Minako; however, now that I was here, now that it was just me and her, those plans seemed to crumble.

I was… tired.

Planning and scheming were what I did best, but these days it felt as though there was always another obstacle to overcome, ten more on the horizon, and just once, just this one time, I wanted to bypass the cleverness and cut straight to the issue at hand. There had been something on my mind for a while now, and I was tired of waiting.

I leveled Minako a look. "What are you not telling the others, Minako?"

"…I'm not quite sure I understand what you're asking."

My smile is grim. "I really did have a grudge against you, you know. Loathing someone makes it easier to notice them and the actions they take. Let's not pretend that we haven't been analyzing one another from the very beginning; we both know otherwise and I'm afraid I don't have the patience to play games at the moment."

Her gaze becomes more scrutinizing. "Is that so? Then, may I ask what exactly you've been up to with Rei?"

I take a moment to examine Minako, her relaxed posture, tilted head, inquisitive eyes; there was no sign of distress, or of worry from her and somehow that left me concerned.

"Tell me what you're hiding, and I'll return the favor."

She laughed. "And why would I do that?"

"Because you want me to stay." I said, and her smile waned. Still though, she offered no information; I hopped down from my perch and began pacing, walking the both of us through my thought process. "From day one, I think you've been planning something, and of this Order of Elysion business is just another factor of it, stage two or three or four. You left England and tracked down the Sailor Scouts with a speed and drive I hadn't expected. You were extremely kind with Naru when you thought she was the Moon Princess, and you appeared content to not pull her into the mess with Beryl.

"Then Jadeite and the other Generals came along, and for some reason you had no reservations with bringing them into the fold, no problem with Mamoru either. What's remarkable here is how you were able to bring two groups of people together and unify them; that required you to give up full leadership, so what did you stand to gain from the creation of the Order? Why were you so insistent that I join you, and most importantly, why in god's name are you trying to take over the world?"

Minako remained silent.

The more I considered it the further irritated I was; people did things for a _reason_ , and not understanding what that reason was killed me. Motives were essential, motives gave you a peek into the person behind the scheme and what it was that made them tick. Jadeite lied about me to protect Mamoru, Rini had jumped a thousand years into the past to find me because she wanted to save her family, but _why_ -

My eyes passed over the sword once more.

"Why," I mused quietly, "would you have the very sword Serenity used to end her life mounted on your wall? The Legendary Sword is a reminder of your failure, is it not? So why…"

Why place it in plain sight, where it would only serve to remind Minako of the price paid for her failure to do her duty?

Unless she didn't want to forget.

"A reminder, or a promise?"

"A promise." She stood, gaze stuck to the sword as well. From beside me, Minako said, "A promise to do whatever it takes this time around. Do you remember how quickly our kingdom fell, how easily beaten we were? Princess Serenity… she died because we weren't strong enough, to save her or the Moon Kingdom. But that will never happen again; everything will be different this time, I'll accept nothing less."

So… Finding the Scouts, Recruiting Matsuo and Naru, teaming up with the Generals to create the Order of Elysion… it was all for Serenity. So she could return to a safe haven, with the knowledge that they would not fall ever again. Minako wasn't the third party, that much was clear; there was simply no way she would have had the restraint to stand by and watch. No, Minako was a warrior, a woman of action. She was building a home for Serenity, she was building…

A court.

Serenity was royalty, the Crown Princess…

Minako could see the realization dawn in my gaze. With a fierce expression and a slow smile, she confirmed my suspicions. "I'm creating the court Princess Serenity deserves. A court brighter than the stars and strong enough to outlast god himself."

A court to make the earth tremble.

"Now, why don't you tell me what you're up to with Rei?"

* * *

 _Interlude, Serenity P.O.V._

For a long time, she had been alone.

Serenity had slept, for years and years, and when she had finally awoken, it had been to the horror of a lost battle. Not one of blood and men –no, that war had passed long before, another war lost- but one of the mind, one against an invader. It was the Silver Crystal that saved her, in the end; it whisked away the part of her that had slept and carried her soul even now, when the other half of her had…

Well, it was of little importance now.

She had slept, and when Serenity had awoken, it had been to a stranger slowly killing her. Then she had been safe, safe in an illusion of her fallen kingdom. It was months of silence, months of navigating ruins before Serenity realized she could make her home look complete merely by wishing it so. The passage of time had no meaning there, and she did not require sleep. There were only two things known to Serenity during those days; silence, and overwhelming grief.

Endymion was dead, _murdered_.

He was dead, her kingdom was lost, her people slain, and she had chosen to die with him, with her love. She thought and thought and thought about Endymion, about her mother, about her beloved friends. They were all gone and she was here, trapped in this in-between and unable to die, to rest in peace. So many things she could have done differently, so many errors she could have avoided simply by abiding by the rules. Those of the Moon Kingdom were not supposed to fall in love with children of earth.

How many could Serenity have spared, by following that one law?

How many had died because she hadn't truly tried to stay away?

Silence and grief were her companions.

Then came Usagi.

The moment she had become Sailor Moon, Serenity's world expanded ever so slightly. Suddenly, Serenity could _see_ the outside world, could make sense of everything around Sailor Moon. The invader of her mind had become her link to the outside, and what Serenity saw had brought the princess to her knees.

The Sailor Scouts were alive, Endymion was alive.

As was the Dark Kingdom.

The war wasn't over; Serenity had still one more chance to make it right.

What a gift that had been, more than anything she could have ever hoped for, more than she had ever expected. There were no words for how grateful she'd been, how easy it became to stop fearing Usagi upon learning the girl was not a monster, but another victim in a cage of her own. Neither of them could break free, but… perhaps, they could provide help to one another. To see the Dark Kingdom fall… it would be more than enough.

It had been more than enough.

Upon waking, there were two distinct parts of Serenity's life.

There had been before, and after Usagi. Before Usagi there had been silence and grief. After Usagi…

After Usagi, there had been hope

It was Usagi that had taken away her loneliness, Usagi that had shown her she could still make things right, Usagi who had done the impossible and continued to promise even more. It was, ultimately, Usagi who she deemed precious above all else; and it was Usagi who was destined to die. Serenity couldn't bear the thought, couldn't imagine a world without her friend.

There was before Usagi, and there was after.

And Serenity would use whatever means to keep them both alive.

To save the girl that had somehow saved her.

* * *

A/N

My. God.

We are already five chapters into this arc, which is technically a third of the way through. So, yikes. Pretty sure I fucked up that timeline.

Anyway, while I'm here I figured I'd let you all in on my current projects. Right now I'm completely rewriting my first fic (Expectations & Revelations) because it is trash. I'm also weaving the first couple of chapters for the next fic I'm going to post and I'm _also_ working on my first novel which is exciting. I mean, its going to be great to have editors and proof readers and a bunch of grunts doing all the other stuff that goes into a story while I just.. write. A dream come true.

I'm! Also! Going! To! Harry! Potter! World! At the end of June (My best friend is coming down for a month) so between all that please lower your expectations as there's little likelihood of any regular update for the next month or two (though there's no accounting for random bursts of inspiration). I mean… maybe if you guys give me stellar, long-winded reviews I'll find the inspiration to write up one more chapter before Chaos Strikes™.

Anyway, once again please thank Darkangel818 for this chapter!

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!


	23. Chapter 23

Minako is the first to be brought in on the investigation.

She takes it far better than Rei did.

"Tell it to me again." She paces the floor of the backroom at the Hikawa Shrine. It's late, but it is also Rei's turn to be on call so I feel little guilt at keeping her up; she wouldn't have slept either way. From my position against the circular window, I watch as Rei sighs and turns to me, sporting an aggravated expression; It had only been a few days since I had made Minako aware of the situation, and though we were only now meeting to discuss it, I assumed for Rei, having to deal with Minako for the past couple of days had been unbearable.

After all, her dedication to Serenity knew no bounds.

Aggravating for Rei, and a solace for myself. Serenity would always be safe.

"These are the facts as we know them," I begin, "The Sword of the Silver Crystal, which should have been at the Moon Palace, appeared to Rei at the Dim Kingdom. It came to her in the same golden light that the letter appeared before me a few weeks back. It's the timing of it all that doesn't seem right. Someone is pulling strings here, playing god or whatever. We were- we _are,_ being watched; that note to me was bait, maybe to rile me up or confuse me, I'm not sure yet. Whoever we're dealing with has been watching though, of that much I'm certain, and they've had more than a few chances to step in and take a side. That they haven't…"

Well, it was telling enough.

The order really only had one goal, one true priority, and that was Serenity.

If this person wasn't helping us, we had to assume they were against us.

Minako was quick on the uptake. "So what's the plan then? What was your course of action upon this discovery?"

"Eliminate the suspects. Starting with Ami."

Rei made a noise. "We've found nothing that would point to a betrayal from her."

"We've found nothing because you haven't put your heart into looking." I say, amending her words with a little more venom than necessary. "The only way for us to stay ahead of this is to _use_ the advantages we have, and we can't do that by tiptoeing."

"Tiptoeing? Me?" Rei scoffed, "I'm not-"

"Enough." Minako barked, turning on her heel to level a stern look at Rei. "Fighting amongst ourselves helps no one; if we have a traitor in our midst, we need to weed that person out. To be assured that none of our people have betrayed us we must prove that the enemy is outside, and not within."

After a moment, Rei sighed and her shoulders loosened, the fight leaving her. We shared a glance, a white flag; we needed to stand united, not bicker on who was right. Rei swallowed her disagreement. "So what do you propose we do then?"

Looking for clues wasn't working out the way we had hoped it would; it required an empty headquarters, distracted members, something that took more time and resources than we had. We needed to change tactics if we wanted to see some results. I thought on it for a moment, considering our options. _Could_ we just take them out, one at a time, and interrogate each of them until we were assured of their innocence? Probably not. Interrogation was a tricky game, and it was simply too easy to blow back up in your face. I wasn't sure any of us had the stomach for it anyway.

If I had been on my own… what would my next step have been? How would I force the enemy's hand? On my own it would've been a challenge, something that would have required pull out all the bell and whistles I had tucked away for the proverbial rainy day. Could I do this then, if I left Minako and Rei behind, could I get to the bottom of this mystery? Surely, the answer was yes; only the price to be paid… I wasn't willing to pay it. On my own, it would be difficult to take the advantage I had and use it to _win._

But, I wasn't alone anymore.

And just like that, the answer came to me.

"We bait them, of course."

* * *

"No, that's wrong! Your curtsy should be shallow, shallow!"

"It _is_ shallow!" I snapped.

Apparently, Serenity didn't agree.

"That," She murmured, shifting in her chair, "was most definitely _not_ shallow. You're greeting a mere Merchant, not a Duke! When greeting anyone of a lower social standing, it is imperative that you execute the proper curtsy, least you offend anyone. How do you think a Prince of a neighboring kingdom would feel if you were to give the same greeting to one of his- his servants! It would be an outrage."

"In what twisted universe, would I be expected to greet a foreign prince?"

"This one." And, well, she had a point.

It wasn't going to be enough to just be able to imitate Serenity. Sooner or later, someone would think to call upon me to swap places with her during a time of emergency. Should I be around in such a scenario, I had to be able to nail the whole princess thing; the last thing I wanted was for my cover story to come under suspicion. So I swallowed my protests and rearranged myself into a more shallow curtsy, head dipped only just so.

Serenity examined me. "Yes, that is much better. Now, you are greeting the king of a hostile nation, show me the procedure."

It continued like this for a while, Serenity quizzing my etiquette skills as I stumbled through ridiculous and ancient customs I was unlikely to ever have need of. Eat _this_ way, walk _that_ way, learn about _this_ dance and _those_ people; it was all rather exhausting, and with every lesson I found myself regretting the entire idea.

We were halfway through dining manners when I dropped my head onto the table with a painful bang and gave up entirely.

"Would you like to take a break?" Serenity's tone was amused.

"My brain. It's melting."

She hummed. "Very well. Let us take a stroll, the garden air will do you some good."

I didn't want to get up though, I'd much rather flop onto the cold hard stone than get up. Serenity appeared to sense this as well, because she dragged me to my feet and began to tow me along behind her.

I groaned. "I don't want to walk; I want to lay face-down in the dirt and cease to exist for a brief intermission."

"Oh?" Serenity turned left, moving down a corridor that did not lead to the gardens; or at least it didn't lead down to the one we most often frequented. "That is quite a shame, Usagi. You see, I was under the impression that you would be interested in learning of what I believe to be the key to traveling to Crystal Tokyo."

That certainly had me perking up. "What did you find?"

Serenity graced me with one of her rare, mischievous grins. "I suppose you shall have to follow me and find out for yourself."

She led the way down the large halls to an area of the Palace we hardly ever visited; Queen Serenity's wing. She took us down a dead end hall and, to my surprise, moved aside an old tapestry to reveal an indent in the wall. With a firm push it gave away, opening into an upward winding passage. We stared at it for a moment.

"Now, I know there aren't any spiders-"

"Or rats," Serenity added

"-Or ghosts, in there. However, I still feel as though this is _exactly_ the kind of secret passage one definitely shouldn't follow."

"Well, then, I suppose it is fortunate that I have already walked its length a few times."

I tore my gaze from the darkened path to look at her incredulously. "You're telling me that you just plucked up some courage and went exploring? In _there_? Multiple times?"

Serenity shrugged. "I was bored, you weren't here."

"I see." I moved my gaze back to the passageway, considering. "But, you were scared, right?"

"Terrified." She agreed easily.

Well, that was a little comforting, at the very least. With a long-suffering sigh, I nodded firmly to myself and began the trek upward, Serenity clinging to the fabric of my shirt. Ten steps up had us in absolute darkness; another eleven gave way to a landing, and a door. I felt for the grove in the stone and pulled, bringing us out into sweet, sweet daylight.

We were… In another corridor.

"Wow. Super impressive."

"Oh, do shut up Usagi." Serenity said, not unkindly. "Go right and follow the corridor, it's right around the corner."

When we rounded said corner, the corridor opened up into something wider, not quite a room, but a large entry way of sorts, and my feet seemed to cement themselves to the floor.

An ominous, grandiose door; white, like the stone walls and floor, adorned with the phases of the moon. Pristine, completely untouched, and yet the area around it…

There were chips in the floor, dirty marks that appeared to grow more vivid the closer they appeared to the door. It reminded me of the shadows and dark spots I sometimes saw at the very edge of my vision.

My hair stood on end. "What is this place?"

"…I do not know for certain," Serenity began, "But the engravings on the door, the moon cycle… that could indicate a passage of time, no?"

She moved forward, through the progressively worsening state of the hall; a shudder left me as she traced her hand down each phase, and I shoved down the urge to rip her _away_ from that thing. Serenity continued, unbothered, "I've given it some thought, you see; there are no other exits in this wing, not from this floor. Nothing other than the secret passage, and no other rooms to speak of, making it rather clear the intended use of this part of the palace. Mother wanted this door hidden, out of sight and away from the court and the servants. The only plausible answer for this is-"

"Because it holds a power." I finished, "Something great enough that she could not trust her subjects to not fall to temptation."

"Yes…" Serenity's hand fell back to her side.

Looking at the door, something about it did strike at my memory, and yet no solid explanation would come to mind. I knew this door was of great importance, but the why, the reasoning behind it, continued to elude me. The only thing I was sure of was that this was it.

This was what we'd been searching for, and somehow, it frightened me.

* * *

It was a pretty lamp.

Silver and tall, with leaves carved into the stand and a white lampshade; no lightbulb, but that wasn't a big deal. I could buy lightbulbs, would probably have to anyway. It was a nice lamp, all things considered; no dust, and hardly scratched. I just wasn't sure it was _worth_ 2,500 yen. With a sigh, I turned to my companion, "What do you think?"

Rini eyed the lamp thoughtfully. "I like it. It'd look nice in the house, maybe by the entry way?"

At my other side, Harumi nodded. "Yes, I agree. It's in good shape for the price."

I considered the lamp, and hummed my consent. With a cheerful grin Harumi snatched it up and we continued our stroll through the shop. I scribbled out the item in my notebook, glancing at what remained of the list. "Right, so we should still be on the lookout for a coffee table, a desk, some bookshelves, and- oh."

I stopped dead, attention caught on the furniture Hajime-sensei currently examined. My feet made a sharp left, taking me right to his side and together we stared at what were arguably the nicest pieces in this consignment shop. Two brown leather armchairs, large enough to comfortably fit a man of Hajime-sensei's stature, worn only at the back and in the middle of the cushion. It was in _perfectly_ acceptable condition, likely only a few years old, and for the life of me I couldn't understand how anyone in their right mind would see fit to get rid of them.

Hajime-sensei appeared to be of the same thought, because after a moment he offered, "Maybe they're cursed."

"Cursed with the misfortune of having such a negligent previous owner." I ran a hand over one of the arms, cooing, "I'm going to treat you so well, just you wait."

"If the chair talks back, we're exorcising it."

"This is good quality leather. You'll do no such thing." I checked the price tag, and nearly died. 6,400 yen _each_. But… that was fine, I could afford it. Who needs food anyway? I turned back to Hajime-sensei and nodded; we were buying both of them. With a grunt he heaved one of the armchairs up and brought it over to a mildly alarmed cashier, the rest of us trailing behind like teeny shadows.

Hajime-sensei set it down with a heavy thud. "How much for both of these?"

With narrowed eyes, the man glanced over to me, with my wallet out, then down to Rini at my side, before returning his gaze to answer unpleasantly, "6,400 yen per chair."

It was not, perhaps, the wisest decision to sneer at someone who looked like they could snap you -and every other person in Japan- in half. Hajime-sensei smiled. It wasn't kind.

"We'll take them for 5,300 yen." He paused, glancing to Harumi, and added, "ah, and that lamp as well."

I left with my wallet a little less empty.

Outside, as Hajime-sensei loaded his truck with our boon, Harumi turned a heavy glance to Rini and myself. "Are you sure she shouldn't be in school right now?"

"Its fine," I waved a hand, nonchalant, "Rini is smart, and she has some of the best tutors in Tokyo; a day off here and there won't hurt her."

"Mhm." Was his skeptical reply. "Well, we're going to haul this load back to the house. This is the last one for the day, yeah?"

"That's right." My wallet really couldn't take another hit this week. I checked the time. "We've got to head back. I'll catch up with you tomorrow?"

"Bright and early." Harumi winked mischievously. "And boy do I have a surprise for you!"

Yikes. "I'm… looking forward to it?"

But of course, from the grin on his face, we both know this to be otherwise. Rini and I said our farewells to the brothers and began the backtrack to the elementary school hand in hand, where her ball and communicator awaited our return. I squashed down the foreboding feeling Harumi had left me with and focused on the next course of business, gathering intel.

"You know," I mused aloud, "I was doing some thinking, about the Dark Moon Clan and how they've been able to reach us from the future, and I wanted to ask; do you think they're coming and going through the same way that you used to get here?"

Rini shook her head, brow furrowed. "No… no, I don't think they would be able to. Plu- er, I mean, the way I came isn't something they'd be able to do."

"Oh? How'd you get here anyway?"

Rini shifted, averting her gaze, and shrugged.

I slowed our movement, crouching down to her height and giving Rini a smile. "You know, it's okay to want to keep a secret. But I'm Sailor Moon, you know? And Sailor Moon definitely has an idea of how you got here. Is it okay if I tell you what I think?"

She nodded, curious and more upbeat. It made me wish I wasn't such a bleeding heart of small children; it was easier to deal with adults, no insufferable, long lasting guilt.

"In the Queen's Palace," I began, "There is a special, secret place where only she was allowed. A very special door, with the markings of the moon, unlike any other. You used the door, huh?"

Rini was wide eyed, silent, but there was something like relief on her face; a secret she didn't have to bear alone anymore. She squeezed my hand. "I'm happy you're here, Usagi-chan."

I melted a little. "Yeah, me too kid."

"I think… I think maybe everyone needs a bit of Usagi-chan time. The whole Order."

"Er, sure." That… was an odd turn in conversation, and I didn't quite follow. I cleared my throat. "So you're saying you think I should be at the warehouse more often?"

"No, that's not it," She shook her head, "You're there a lot, but… well, haven't you noticed?"

My expression must have tipped her off, because she huffed through her cheeks. "Everyone is… not okay. Like they're all heavy, and the room is heavy, and no one is talking about it, which is _stupid_. There's something wrong but everyone is pretending like everything is fine."

I paused, contemplating.

There… had been some tension as of late, it was true, but I hadn't realized the others had felt it as well. Those of us that knew Serenity was in danger has come up with a plan nearly a week back, and now we were simply waiting for the proper moment to enact it, and _that_ moment wouldn't be around for another four days. Waiting when an enemy lurked nearby was no easy feat; Rei and Minako were doing remarkably well with hiding their emotions, but clearly it wasn't enough.

The subconscious mind was a dangerous thing.

No doubt we were all giving off tells of our anxiety, our anticipation, our nerves, and whether the others knew it or not they were also picking up on these tells, and it was effecting them as well. Something would have to be done or the three of us were going to give ourselves away to the enemy. I thought about what Rini had said.

"Usagi Therapy Session, hm?" I could work with that.

She blinked up at me. "Everyone needs a little bit of Sailor Moon in their life."

Well, I couldn't argue with that logic.

Or I could, but I certainly wasn't about to. After all, she might have a point; a release of pressure might be in order if I wanted everything to go according to plan.

"Right, leave it to me then." I ruffled her hair. "We better get going or Makoto will find out I took you out of school again and I'll be squished under her righteous foot of fury."

Rini laughed. "Makoto-chan is nice, I don't think she'd do that."

"Oh, is that what you think?" I gave her a conspiring grin. "I guess you never heard about the first time we met then."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it started with these three, burly men, each as big as a bus…"

* * *

It took time to put everything together, but Rini had a point; the tension wasn't good for us, it would only inhibit our search if allowed to continue. We needed that calm before the storm, that unsuspecting moment before the bait was laid.

It took me precisely five hours to get everything I needed.

Five hours, and one Chiba Mamoru.

"How did you get in my apartment?" He asked upon coming home to find me lounging on his couch, three large plastic bags at my feet and a little red wagon stacked precariously with boxes at his door. "And what in god's name happened to your hands?"

I glanced at the red, blue, and purple stains on my fingers and palms. I was sure with a good scrubbing they'd come out, but there was no point in testing that theory just yet. With a shrug, I turned my attention back to Mamoru and gave him my best smile. "Welcome home, darling! Dinner is on the table –your favorite- and I have a bath drawn up for you whenever you're ready."

Mamoru eyed me dispassionately. "Really?"

"Of course not." I hopped up and grabbed the plastic bag, "I can't cook to save my life, and honestly, you probably shouldn't look at your bathroom; its, uh, a bit more colorful than you'll have remembered." Mamoru looked to the closed door of the bathroom in mild alarm, and I used two fingers to turn his face back to me, tapping his cheek twice. "Not the point though, don't you worry about that little detail for now. We have bigger plans at work."

His hand drifted up to catch my wrist, and I realized I was standing perhaps a little too close. "Ah, so there _is_ a point to this madness. Pray tell, does it involve destroying my bathroom?"

"Only slightly." I swallowed, lightening my tone. "Orders from the little princess, you see. Usagi Therapy Session."

"Usagi… Therapy Session." He said disbelievingly.

"That is correct. Now, are you going to help me or not? I've got a lot of stuff to carry, and I could really use those Boy Scout skills of yours."

There was a fondness to his laugh as he dropped my wrist, "I expect to be reimbursed for whatever chaotic state you left my bathroom in."

I snorted.

"Reimbursed? Reimburse yourself, you rich b-"

* * *

The wagon was heavy, and wouldn't fit in a cab, so unfortunately we had to _walk_ to the warehouse.

Now, it had come to my attention that I did not do well in the cold. Mamoru became oddly talkative during the journey though, so I had little time to fall into my own darker musings. We moved quickly, taking care not to slip on the ground –laughing when one of us nearly did- and made it to the warehouse in an impressive forty five minutes. Though it was Naru on duty tonight, Ami was at the supercomputer still and Nephrite was hanging around, helping Naru with some paperwork; they all looked rather surprised to see the two of us when we walked in the doors.

"What do you have there?" Ami questioned, looking from our grins to the wagon to the bags in my hands with amusement and just a little wariness.

"I'd like you to call the Order in, please." Mamoru turned to Nephrite. "Help me get this wagon upstairs, will you?"

As Nephrite obediently hopped up to grab the other end, Ami looked between the two of us, "Alright… And what, specifically, would you like me to tell them?"

I threw an arm around her, ignoring the wide eyed expression said action caused, and laughed. "Tell them we're having a surprise training session. Participation is mandatory; that means Rini, too."

"It's almost nine." She said flatly. "Rini, and the rest of us, have school in the morning."

"Time is just a number, Ami. _Live_ in the _now_."

Ami most definitely did not look as though she were feeling up to living in the now, which was a shame, because like I had said, participation was mandatory. Behind us, the boys nearly dropped the wagon halfway up the stairs, and in the quiet, even from here the noise it made was undeniable. Nephrite looked to me with an expression that somehow managed to convey bafflement, worry, and incredulity all at once. "The boxes just made a _splooshing_ sound. Why did they go sploosh?"

"Sploosh isn't a word." I informed him. "Be careful with those; I spent my hard earned on them and I'll be _highly_ displeased if they don't reach the training area in perfect condition."

"…She ignored me."

"Oh dear god." Ami groaned.

I squeezed her shoulder. "That's the spirit."

As soon as the boys got my wagon up there, Nephrite was shooed away back downstairs while Mamoru and I finished our preparations. It was, admittedly, my first time on the second floor, and I took a moment to admire the set up. Mats covering most of the floor. Balancing beams, punching bags, hurdles; it had everything you'd find in a gymnastics center, even those large blue building foam thingies, the kind you were allowed to play with in elementary school and then never saw again. There wasn't much equipment on the floor at the moment, a lot of it pushed to the side to make maximum use of the space provided.

It was one, giant playground. Or it would be, when we finished with it.

Mamoru surveyed the room. "Right, so how do you want to go about this?"

I considered the area. "Four bases, one at each corner. Let's use extra mats and those geometric blocks to build them. I say we have maybe little over an hour before the Order is gathered."

"We'll scatter the hurdles and balance beams, use some of the thicker mats to make platforms and a few small walls. I think we should leave a decent open space in the very center. We'll put the ammunition there, use those punching bags as cover in a circle around the whole thing. There are five of them so it should work well."

I nodded. "Good thinking, let's also- is that a ball pit?"

"It sure is." Mamoru smiled down at me. "and what's more, we have a trampoline."

Oh, my god.

This was going to be great.

An hour later, my dream playground was ready, and downstairs the Order was gathered. They were all, thankfully, smart enough to have worn exercise clothes as well. Among them I spotted Rini, rubbing an eye and looking a little drowsy. I skipped down a couple of stairs, stopping about halfway, and opened my arms, "Come here, squirt."

And, well, that certainly got her attention.

Rini shot off to my side with a sort of delight I would likely never understand, and I was nice enough to scoop her up as Mamoru popped his head into view in order to call everyone up. I scurried up to show Rini the fruit of my labor, and she took it in with a starry, fully awake gaze as the others crowded in behind us.

"One Usagi Therapy Session, as promised." I set her down, and Mamoru came over to my side. We shared look of mutual interest for what was to come, and he began to explain.

"Being a member of The Order of Elysion is no easy feat." He said. "Its long hours, constant recon and research, keeping an eye out for anything out of the ordinary, working to shield the people of Tokyo from beings and powers they have no hope of defeating. We are one, relatively small, organization tasked with the responsibility of watching over, and protecting, this world; because of that, we're required to keep on our toes, to put our work over everything else. The Order has done an excellent job at maintaining the peace we have though, and I think we are more than deserving of a reward."

That had people perking up.

Mamoru reach down into the nearly empty plastic bag and pulled out three items; one very big water gun with the words _Blaster_ written on the side, a smaller, cheap reminiscent of a hand gun that was also a water gun, and a laminated, gold rectangle. I could _feel_ the Order's bafflement as I stepped forward to explain, "The name of the game is Battle Royale. Your objective? To gather as many gold tickets as your team can before the hour is up, and to avoid getting wet.

"The rules are as follows. Each team will get two blasters –the big water guns- and two mini guns. Whether you choose to arm your entire team or not is up to you, but only _one_ blaster per team is allowed out in the field at any given time. Each base is equipped with one full gallon of water for refilling purposes, one bowl of ammunition –water balloons- and a basket for your treasure. Now, be warned that some of the ammunition is not as it seems. You will find that upon getting hit that the water will be colored; if you do get hit with one of these, you are 'knocked out' for one minute and must stay down."

Mamoru gestured to the battlefield of our creation. "At the center of this course you will find addition ammunition. The only other way to refill your water supply is by way of that water fountain. Attached to each balloon you will find a gold ticket. The team with the most gold tickets at the end of the battle will be the winner. However, in order to take the ticket, you must first untie it from the ammunition and use said ammunition. If any two teams have the number of tickets at the end of the hour, the winner will be decided by whoever had taken less damage, meaning whoever is dryer. Stealing from other bases is permitted; however, you cannot take the basket itself, only what you can carry with your own two hands."

"Finally," I stated, "You can disarm your opponent, but you are not allowed to take their weapons. The only permitted use of stealing is gold tickets; no water supplies, ammunition, or weapons can be taken. Hand-to-hand combat is highly encouraged, and using any supernatural ability is prohibited. Any questions?"

Minako examined the course. "How will the teams be decided?"

"By division." Mamoru replied. "Intel; Ami, Naru, Zoisite. Training; Matsuo, Makoto, Nephrite. ESP; Rei, Usagi, Jadeite. Strategy; Minako, Kunzite, and myself. Rini is welcome to choose her team, and of course-"

"-We'll be referees." Artemis offered. Which, fair enough, all things considering. I wasn't exactly sure how a cat was going to wield a water gun.

Minako turned and gave Kunzite a lovely smile that did nothing to hide the vicious glee in her gaze. Kunzite merely let out a fond sigh, which was somehow almost worst. I moved my attention towards the rest of the group and clapped my hands together. "Right then, Team Usagi, pick your home base."

"Team _Usagi?_ " Rei snorted, making a beeline for the far right base with Jadeite right on her heels, "In your dreams. Now, Team Rei, on the other hand-"

"-Like hell." I followed them, rolling my eyes though there was a grin slowly taking form on my face. As we settled into our home base, I checked out the positions of the other teams. Ami's team was closest, in the upper corner; across from them, Mamoru's team had taken a base, leaving the last one to Matsuo's team. It took me a moment to realize, looking at us all, but when the thought stuck me, I couldn't help but laugh.

"What is it?" Jadeite asked me.

"We're right above our work station." I told him, pointing down. "So is Ami's team, and, in a way, Mamoru's team. We all picked the corners we were most familiar with."

He cocked his head, glancing at the other teams. "Huh, you're right."

"This is all very interesting," Rei began flatly, "But maybe we should move on to coming up with a battle strategy. We've only got five minutes."

"Well…" Jadeite surveyed the area, and the other teams, taking in details the two of us probably hadn't. "I believe our greatest threat will lie in the Strategic team. We should either work to ambush them, or perhaps attempt to take them out quietly."

"I think you're forgetting whose division we're in." Rei interjected. "I mean, Minako's scary, sure, but Makoto and Matsuo together might as well be an unstoppable force. If they're sent out together, which they will be, then we need to be on the lookout for them. I think it would be in our interests to form an alliance until we have a proper advantage."

"An alliance with whom, exactly?"

Rei shrugged. "With the strategy team, obviously. The only person we need to convince is Mamoru, and, well, taking in to consideration that _thing_ we were talking about the other day… Getting him over to our side surely won't be too difficult. If Mamoru follows, Kunzite surely will, and that's all we need to get a head start. Minako isn't going to go against her own team."

Jadeite's gaze flicked over to me. "…It is a possibility."

My brow furrowed. "What's with the look?"

"What are your thoughts on the matter?"

Oh, well that was easy enough.

I mean, it was a terrible plan.

Really, as if Makoto and Matsuo were the biggest threats. Were they two of our most active members? Yes. But they hadn't built this course, and I knew for a _fact_ that I could take on at least Matsuo, probably Makoto too, if it was one on one. I was still working with Hajime-sensei one on one and had been practicing in anticipation for whatever fight the universe decided to throw my way next. So no, it wasn't that division that worried me. Like I'd said before, if there was one person you didn't want to make an enemy out of, it was-

A long ring echoed throughout the warehouse, signaling the beginning of the battle.

"Oh hell," I turned, handing Jadeite one blaster, and Rei two water guns. "Whatever, look, Jadeite, you stay here and guard home base. I have a good idea of the terrain and Rei is faster, so we'll head out for now; we're counting on you to cover us when possible. Rei, you have way better aim than me, so the water balloons are all yours. Get as many tickets as you can."

And with that we headed out, sneaking around hurdles, hopping over balance beams, before coming to a pause behind a mat wall. It wasn't tall enough to cover our heads, so we had to duck down and try not to lean against it. It was in a large Z to keep it standing, almost like a screen, and I feared one good bump would bring the damn thing down and reveal our location.

"Okay," Rei began, "we're only about twenty, twenty five feet from the punching bags. If I'm quick, I think I can make it and use the punching bag as cover."

"Remember, stay out of the line of fire as much as possible." The goal was to get as many tickets as possible, sure, but if we got soaked doing so, it could turn into a problem. I went to add something when a shriek pierced the air, followed by victorious laughter, and the sounds of war finally broke out. Rei saluted me, and, with a shit-eating grin, she disappeared around the wall. I pumped the blaster and poked my head around the side, ready to aim and fire.

Rei was smart, she stayed low to the ground, taking cover behind a hurdle.

At the center of the room, Matsuo and Makoto had already begun their attack, movements in sync with one another as they dodged shots of water and grabbed ammunition, yanking gold tickets off like the pin of a grenade before chucking the balloons at the strategic team. Minako, it seemed, had stayed behind to guard home base, leaving Mamoru and Kunzite to gather the tickets. Kunzite managed to dodge the first balloon sent his way, slipped back toward the punching bags to shield himself, but the second balloon nailed him in the shoulder, exploding and dying the white of his shirt red. With an annoyed expression he laid back-first onto the mats for his knock out period.

Mamoru was forced to retreat back from the punching bags to a half mat-wall. I watched as Rei eyed him contemplatively from her position behind the hurdle. In the center, Matsuo was ripping tickets off and tossing ammunition Mamoru's way while Makoto, blaster in hand, covered him. When Matsuo had a good handful of tickets, he sprinted back toward home base, where Nephrite met him halfway and procured the hard earned tickets. Rather than having the good sense to retreat and come up with a new plan of attack, Rei began a slow crawl towards Mamoru now that he wasn't under rapid fire. I bit back the urge to spray her, knowing it would only serve to give my location away.

Kunzite's minute ended, and the moment Luna announced his return to the game Mamoru was at the ready with his blaster, covering for Kunzite while he made his way to Mamoru's hiding place. Matsuo was on his way back, and Rei continued to converge while the supposed dream team was busy. She put her water guns down as soon as she came into sight, perhaps as a gesture of good will. Mamoru and Kunzite had their weapons pointed at her, but they didn't fire. It was just as Rei began to scoot over that my attention was caught elsewhere.

It was too quiet in the center.

I scurried to the other side of the mat and peer around it to find Makoto and Matsuo pointing their guns at Naru, who has stumbled into range. But they hadn't fired. She looked incredibly nervous, actually; shoulders hunched, hands clenching the blaster –in the right places, but far too close to her chest to actually be of use, like a schoolgirl holding her textbooks-, she let out a shaky squeak, and froze on the spot.

"W-wait…" She sputtered.

The dream team hesitated.

It cost them dearly.

From behind, Zoisite, out of nowhere, _vaulted over a punching bag_ and proceeded to hit both Matsuo and Makoto squarely in the back of their heads with water balloons. Each one broke against them in blue and purple colored water, which, holy shit. How had Zoisite figured out which water balloons had colored water and which didn't? I was the one that had filled them and even I couldn't tell the difference!

Zoisite landed lightly on his feet, wearing a smug look that perfectly mirrored Naru's as the dream team went down. From the corner of my eye, I caught movement. A head of blue hair snuck across the edge of the battleground, and I watched, impressed but not quite surprised, as Ami, without her blaster, converged on the Training division's home base and ambushed Nephrite with two more water balloons; they struck Nephrite to reveal more colored water, making him down for the count as well.

Of course, I'd figured from the beginning that Ami's team would be the one to watch out for. The fact that she had abandoned her base, her blaster, had used both Zoisite and Naru in order to completely incapacitate Matsuo's team and steal their tickets was… brilliant. Exactly to be expected for her. She used Matsuo and Makoto's weakness, their severe kindness towards someone like Naru, who appeared weaker, against them. She abandoned her blaster and had Zoisite forfeit his water guns in favor of the ammunition because it was the only thing actually able to stop someone. Tactical thinking at its finest, and…

And the reason Ami couldn't be the one that had sent the note.

No, she wasn't the third party; because if it had been Ami, we'd all have been done for long ago. She'd have taken us out without any of us ever having seen it coming. Somehow, that realization left my shoulders feeling lighter.

One more suspect off the list.

Matsuo and Makoto were down, leaving Intel to turn on Strategy. Rei appeared to have come to an agreement with them, because the trio began to fire back at Naru and Zoisite.

I used this distraction to my advantage, backtracking.

* * *

She didn't see me until it was too late, blaster aim right at her face.

"I'd like half of those tickets, please," I informed Ami, tone sweet, "unless, of course, you want to get soaked."

She eyed me, possibly stalling for time as she mused, "Only half, huh? That's rather generous of you."

I moved the blaster closer. "I'm feeling generous today. Now, why don't you hand over those tickets?"

I managed to get back to home base unscathed.

"Where's Rei?" Jadeite glanced behind me curiously, gaze searching for the missing spitfire.

I peered over my shoulder, back to where a three-way fight had commenced between Intel, Training, and Strategy; Rei, of course, was lending Mamoru's team a hand, though she kept looking around as though searching for something. "She's making friends."

Jadeite followed my line of sight to the trio, something wistful appearing in his expression, giving off the feeling of a desperate puppy. I smothered a laugh, "Go on then, join your prince. I'll watch the base."

He started to move forward, but paused.

"What are your plans," He inquired quietly, gaze never wavering from Mamoru, "once Princess Serenity has been saved?"

I stared at him, unable to come up with an answer to such an unexpected question.

Why was it always _that_ question?

Maybe he knew I didn't have the answer, or maybe he simply didn't expect one yet. Whatever the case was, with a sigh, Jadeite stood and said, "Well, it hardly matters in this moment."

He flitted away, a shadow that moved from barrier to barrier unseen, reaching his prince without issue. It was difficult, to tear my gaze from them as Mamoru greeted him with a smile that said it all; that he'd always known Jadeite would make it to his side. I managed, eventually and with great effort. I counted the tickets as they fell into the basket, six, seven, eight. It was a good start, and we were what, fifteen minutes into the game? I looked around and saw grins, laughter. It was working then; the tension, at least for now, was gone.

A prickling sensation graced the back of my neck, so familiar.

"What do you think you're doing?" There was a crease at his brow, one that spoke of irritation.

I glanced at the blaster in my lap. "Guarding the base?"

"Guarding the base," Mamoru echoed flatly, gaze wandering toward the others –all very far away from my little corner, and of no threat to the tickets we'd gathered- and then back to me, "I can see how trying such a task might be. Still; our teams came to an agreement, so perhaps your skills would be best suited out in the arena."

His grin was a little disquieting, and I was beginning to get the impression that he might, _maybe_ , be a bit peeved with me, though I hadn't the faintest idea why.

"You know," I tried, most certainly not sheepish, "I think I'm more of the, uh, home base type."

It was, apparently, the wrong thing to say.

"Is that so?" He crouched down and reached out.

I stilled, but his hand went past me, brushing my cheek as he grabbed something behind me and lifted it over my head.

"You have no consideration for the efforts I make." Mamoru said, clearly frustrated and yet still smiling.

I blinked, watched the muscles in his arm, still oddly close, flex.

And then water spilled down on me

* * *

 _Interlude_

 _Zoisite P.O.V._

It was the squeal that made him pause.

There'd been a good deal of those sounds from the girls –and one from Nephrite, though he knew his proud comrade would never admit it- so it wasn't the sound of the squeal itself that had caught his notice. It was that the squeal had come from his far left, and pretty much everyone in the order was currently either fighting or defending at his right. So, Zoisite turned, surveyed the course and then the people to his right; five reasonably normal young women, one _very_ small girl. That left-

"You are _so dead_ , Boy Scout!"

-Usagi.

The others had paused as well now, the voice loud, enraged and unmistakable. They all turned towards the next noise, one that brought a rush of fondness to his heart; it was peals of laughter, his _Prince's_ laughter. Endymion- no, Mamoru, flew into view, jumping over one of the hurdles with a grin on his face. A water balloon skipped just past his head, breaking open against a mat. Mamoru landed with a tuck and roll, avoiding another water balloon, and hopped back onto his feet quickly, throwing an amused glance behind him.

And there she came, jumping not over the hurdle as Mamoru had, but onto it in order to give herself that extra boost. She launched herself into the air, blaster in hand, and aimed with a frankly alarming intensity. Mamoru dodged the spray, but only just barely, spinning around and fleeing towards the open center. Usagi stuck her landing beautifully, undeterred by the failure to hit her target, and took up the chase once more. Zoisite, sensing _trouble_ in the gleam Mamoru sported, quickly sidestepped out of the way and watched as he entered the center. His Prince shared a look with Matsuo and nodded toward Usagi in some kind of silent gesture.

Mamoru ducked down, and Matsuo stepped forward, taking his place.

Usagi charged into the center, sliding to a stop.

"Oh-ho?" She eyed Matsuo in the way one might a bug about to be smashed underfoot, and Zoisite did not envy him, "Do I smell an act of treachery underway?"

"Now, now, Usagi-chan," Matsuo began, "We made a bet remember? Something about your crushing defeat and a rabbit suit, I believe."

Usagi laughed. "We'll see about that, Moon boy."

Zoisite's attention was pulled to Mamoru, who had circled around to stop at his side. With a sigh, Zoisite turned his gaze back to the brewing spar and murmured, "Did you really have to provoke her?"

Mamoru leaned an elbow against his shoulder. "It's hardly my fault she doesn't pay attention."

Zoisite hummed. "Jealousy does not suit you."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

The two of them watched as Matsuo kicked the blaster out of Usagi's grasp and it flew in a neat arc out of the center. Usagi shook out her hand, unfazed, and shifted into a fighting stance. Zoisite felt vaguely concerned as her opponent slid into a similar stance; Matsuo, while lacking any supernatural ability, was easily twice the size of her, and even the Generals, who were highly trained warriors, had had trouble holding their own against him. Obviously, they'd done so –they _were_ Earth's most elite guard, at one time- but it had been a struggle.

Zoisite hadn't truly ever had the opportunity to see Usagi in action; he'd received the most gentle of her 'salvations' and still bore the silver mark to prove it, but from what he had heard, to be on the wrong end of Sailor Moon's ire could be deadly. He only recalled one battle, back at the wretched Dark Kingdom, and it wasn't even much of a battle, really. It was defiance, an act of final vengeance against the person who had killed the princess Usagi had been sworn to protect. It was a choice made, to give Minako the chance to take down Queen Beryl. But he had heard the stories.

How she had slayed one of Jadeite's best Youma, and had then bested him, in a matter of moments. How she had lured Minako to Tokyo, orchestrated a false trail that led the Sailor Scouts to Naru in order to keep Princess Serenity safe. She had also been the one to take each of his fellow Generals down, and on her own no less. That was why it truly shouldn't have surprised him when Usagi caught Matsuo's next kick and flipped him over herself as though he weighed nothing.

Matsuo was ready for it though and rolled to his feet before she could get a good hold on him. From there the spar seemed to dissolve into something entrancing; it was like a dance, somehow vicious and playful all at once. Matsuo swiped for her feet, Usagi jumped; she struck out and he twisted away. They were on par with one another, and not in the harmonic way he was with Makoto. No, this was something else entirely; it was a battle, where they challenged each other to strike harder, faster, with less remorse and hesitation.

It was quite brutal.

"You know," Zoisite mused, "I wonder if perhaps riling her up isn't the best way to get her… _attention_."

"How do you figure?"

Usagi blocked a punch and spun, landing a kick to Matsuo's side. Zoisite didn't flinch, but looking at her relentless attacks, he could not help but imagine his prince being on the receiving end.

"Well, she could come to resent such tactics. And, she isn't looking at you."

Matsuo boxed her ears and received a blow to the nose for his trouble, and around them, the rest of the Order watched with equal bewitchment. Matsuo was _good_ at what he did, he was merciless in their training, and while the Generals could certainly keep up with him- ah.

And he was down, pinned by Usagi and the hand she had clamped around his throat, nails slightly dug in.

She smiled, broad and joyful.

It was likely the first genuine smile Zoisite had ever seen her wear, and it was enough of a shock that he blinked once or twice, as though to be sure his eyes were not simply deceiving him.

Mamoru clapped Zoisite's shoulder. "She may not be looking, but she's having fun."

Zoisite, having spent countless years at his side, was able to hear the unspoken words of his prince: that this was enough. Mamoru stepped forward, lending Usagi, and then Matsuo, a hand up. She looked between the two of them with something resembling light hearted suspicion, ready to say something when the unexpected happened.

A flash of golden light from above, and a slip of paper fell.

Usagi's smile fell.

* * *

A/N

Ha! See? I can do happy scenes! I can be just as well adjusted as any other author on this site.

Anyway, I have very important news for you guys! I've been thinking about writing a fluff extra, and I've been having trouble deciding which characters to include on it, so here's what I'm going to do. I'll let whoever writes the 900th review for this fic decide which two characters they want to read an extra about, and it will be almost entirely fluff. I realize getting that 900th review might be difficult for some of you, so I'll add this in addition; whoever comes the closest to guessing who is leaving the notes to Usagi, or how Serenity is going to be revived, will also get a fluff piece of their chosen characters.

No choosing the fluff though, only the characters.

Also, I am officially taking conspiracy theories as to what _you_ believe Crystal Tokyo is like in this AU. I'm now replying to all PM's, but please give me some time to answer them because as shockingly as it is, I do have a day job and other horrific obligations.

In other news, Rabbit of the Moon is officially more than halfway through its second arc, and I have a **New Poll** for all interested parties. I call it the "Who Is Your Problematic Fav?" and it does NOT include Usagi because Main Characters should never be anyone's fav. It is the side characters that make up a story. So vote on that if you feel up to it.

With that said,

Thoughts? Questions?

Please Review!

P.S. I also sorted the Order into Hogwarts Houses, so I'll post that at the end of the next chapter


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